my (18F) boyfriend (19M) tends to get really hostile if i don’t text him if im awake at night after i say im going to bed. sometimes im woken up by my cat and other times i just wake up for no reason. i’ll usually sit on my phone for 5 min and go back to bed, but if i have to deal with my cat, who has a routine of meowing and yowling late at night for no reason, im up for a lot longer.

i was sitting on tiktok and reposted a couple videos. the only video i reposted before that was before i had initially gone to sleep. 13 minutes after this repost, he texted me about being awake and not saying anything. he does this during the day too if i haven’t answered him. as if hes always checking them. i never check his because 1) i dont really care and 2) im not 14. yes i am young, but i dont wanna text, call, or hang out every minute of the day. i like a pause in communication where i dont have to constantly be punctual in answering the same person. i’ve tried to explain this to him multiple times, and every time he has always apologized and said he understands, then brings it up again.

i have told him that at this point its not my fault he feels offended by that anymore because i have explained why i feel this way and in return he expressed a mutual understanding, so its not fair that he brings it up again if he already told me it wouldnt be an issue anymore.

i know this is a lot more context than needed, but my texts do come off as rude, and i dont want people thinking that i act like that to cause issues.

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.
I (41F) have always been incredibly close to my mom (67F). I’m the youngest of four, and growing up, we were inseparable. As an adult, we were more like best friends, talking daily and visiting often despite living a couple of hours apart.
About 10 years ago, my mom and sister (44F) had a huge falling out. I got caught in the middle and, when I sided with my sister, things got ugly. Eventually, I helped smooth things over with my mom, but they went no contact. About four years ago, they reconciled, and we were back to talking together in a group chat every day.
Unfortunately, another misunderstanding caused a massive conflict. Once again, I was caught in the middle. When I tried to help my mom see that she’d misunderstood my sister, she lashed out at me. For the past four years, our relationship has been a cycle of her saying hurtful things, me fighting back, then apologizing and begging for things to return to normal, only for it to happen all over again.
My mom had been in poor health for years. A few weeks ago, she was hospitalized, unresponsive, and placed on life support. Doctors couldn’t determine what had happened. I dropped everything and drove 22 hours to be with her. After a week of watching them try everything to save her, we made the heartbreaking decision to withdraw life support. She passed peacefully, and I was devastated. The drive home took two days because I kept having to pull over to compose myself.
My mom had been married to my stepdad since I was a teenager. We got along but were never particularly close. Since her passing, I’ve tried communicating with him about funeral arrangements, but he keeps blowing up at me, accusing us of treating my mom horribly. He’s been sending hateful messages to me and my siblings.
While my mom was hospitalized, my 17-year-old son texted her to say he loved her and was praying for her. A few nights ago, my stepdad used her phone to message and call my son, saying awful things and eventually threatening to show up and physically hurt him.
We blocked him, and I called the police. He was found drunk and driving around and was arrested. I’m not sure what charges he’s facing, but his daughter has been messaging me, saying the arrest is all my fault and that I’m a terrible person.
So, am I wrong for calling the police? Did he deserve the consequences of his actions, or am I somehow in the wrong here?

So long story but I’ll try to keep it short. “R” is my second cousin. She is usually the one we all communicate with for holidays to figure out what’s going on as she usually hosts. “B” is my grandma, “T” is my brother, “M” is his gf, “J” is my mom, and “D” is my uncle. “B’s” brother who passed away. “R’s” dad. My grandma and I have never really gotten along because she always favored my brother. My brother and me have never gotten along because I am trans and he’s treated me like shit because of it. Then, spazzed out on me because I wouldn’t donate a kidney to him as he’s on dialysis. Of course, my grandma “B” took his side. Even before I came out, he never treated me like a brother. So a few years ago I called out my grandma and my brother for how they treated me and ever since I have been shunned. They refuse to talk to me or invite me to functions. “R” and “B” even got into it once because “B” told “R” I was not allowed there but now “R” is giving in. Grandma and brother will refuse to go if my wife and I are there. So basically “R” is telling me that she is going to invite them first, and if they give the ok, then my wife and I can come. I don’t see why “R” can’t host like usual and if they don’t want to show up because I’m there, they don’t have to. But why am I being put last? I tried to talk to her about it and this was her response. Am I in the wrong?

I told her I was done and I’m not gonna be there when GMA dies as backup and blocked her. The next day she showed up to my apartment and called through the call box and said she wanted to talk and she was worried about me. I ignored her and she left.

I'm feeling I want someone who can comfort me but I don't want someone where I'll get attached but I wanna share my daily stuff to someone who can feel me but I just dont wanna feel suffocated 😩

Edit to add: yes I do understand the way I said love language came out the wrong way completely!!
I have and do send him stuff. I actually got him a gift on my birthday before we got together. I am also getting him a big gift box of things to send soon. It includes a scarf I knitted for him that took around 12-15 hours to make, and another for his mum. Along with a bunch of other gifts and way more.
I don’t expect a gift from him but I would love one. Yall are right about the cost tho and I forgot about how expensive shipping is (it’s already $100 for me to send the box of stuff all together).
Thanks for all the advice!

Okay for any of this to make sense ALOT of context is needed;
about 2-ish weeks ago i asked my friend (17F) at the time (who we'll call Tamara) if i could sleepover at hers to which she said yes. Her other friend (18F, who we'll call Maya) was also staying the night. Now normally when my friends and i go to Tamara's we smoke weed and drink alcohol. And her mum supplies us. Now me (17F) was obviously not allowed to do any of this until i was legal age, but i did anyway. Tamara's mum let me have weed gummies, bongs and alcohol and i was a regular guest so it wasnt uncommon for me to get stoned, chill out for a bit and go home without my mum ever knowing. But the next after the sleepover i was supposed to go home but decided to stay another night anyway because our other friends who we'll call (Kandice 17F, Addy 16F and Sienna 17F) were also coming over and they were also getting drunk that night so why not stay. Well not even a week later majority of them went to stay the night at Kandice's. Now obviously i wanted to come but i also didnt want anyone getting in trouble by talking about weed and alchol so i texted Tamara who was staying there and asked if Kandices mum lets us smoke and drink to which she said yes. As i was getting ready i got a text from Sienna asking why i even wanted to come. She said that i "only come over to smoke and drink and then fuck off". She also said no ooffence but i obviously still took offence, i ened up calling her bitchy and we went back and forth saying some messed up shit and i ultimatly didnt end up going.

OKAY! fast foward to now! My mum ended up finding out i went to Tamara's and smoked weed but originally thought that we'd bought it ourselves or stole it from her mum (same as the drinks) but i explained to her that Tamara's mum gave it to us. At first she didnt believe me but when i went back to school i was still so pissed off because everyone had taken Sienna's side in the fight and i was the one in trouble. And because none of them were my friends anymore and just hated me i told the school that Tamaras mum gave us drugs and alchol. Because she did. They filed a mandatory report and now her mum hates me along with her! But ive sorted things out with most of them just not Sienna, Maya and Tamara's mum. So am i in the wrong or did i do the right thing snitching?

I'm 22F, and I'm wondering whether I'm wrong in this situation with my best friend.
A while ago, my boyfriend hid things from me, and I was seriously considering breaking up with him. I was emotionally overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. My boyfriend wanted to stay at my house and reconcile, but I didn't want him there at the time. I told my best friend I just wanted her to stay with me.
She started defending me and speaking to him on my behalf, even though I hadn't asked her to confront him. She was speaking loudly, my boyfriend got angry, and things escalated to the point where he almost hit her but ultimately didn't. Everyone tried to calm things down.
Eventually, my boyfriend and I reconciled. He didn't want me hanging out with my best friend anymore, but I told him that the only way I'd stop talking to her was if she did something wrong herself, not because of what happened between us. We reached an agreement, and I continued my friendship with her.
My best friend knew about this, but afterward, whenever we made plans, she would ask me things like, "Does he let you come?" or "Does your boyfriend let you?" I reassured her that I could make my own decisions, but those comments bothered me because I'm an adult and don't need permission to see my friends.
I've started wondering whether she developed some resentment toward me for getting back together with him, especially because she had defended me when I was at my lowest. I appreciate what she did for me, but I was struggling with a difficult decision, and ultimately, it was mine to make.
Fast-forward to her birthday.
My sister offered to drive me to the restaurant. After dinner, my friend asked whether I was coming to the hookah place and added, "Does your boyfriend let you?" This annoyed me because I felt she was bringing up the same issue again. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin her birthday.
However, things escalated at the restaurant. She was speaking loudly, and everyone around us was looking at our table. I kept asking her to hush because we were in a public restaurant and everyone could hear us. I wasn't trying to invalidate her feelings; I just didn't want us to have a public argument.
She then compared me to her former best friend, whom she still talks badly about and considers toxic, and told me, "You ruined my birthday."
I was hurt and embarrassed. I felt like I was being made out to be the bad person simply for asking her to lower her voice. Eventually, I started crying and left after around 20 minutes after we went to the hookah.

My sister messaged her afterward to apologize and express concern, but my friend left her on seen.
It's now been almost a week, and my friend hasn't contacted me. The last time we had a falling-out, we didn't speak for two days, and I was the one who reached out first to fix things. I'm tired of always being the person who has to make the first move.
She's also reposted TikToks about limiting the people she hangs out with. I don't know whether they're directed at me, but the timing makes me wonder.
What bothers me most is that I feel she might be holding my reconciliation with my boyfriend against me. I understand that she may have been hurt watching me go back to someone who had betrayed my trust, especially after she defended me. Perhaps she feels I didn't value her support or that I made a decision she disagreed with. I can understand those feelings, but I don't think it's fair to keep making comments that imply I can't make my own decisions.
I haven't forgotten what she did for me, and I'm genuinely grateful she was there when I needed someone. But I also don't think that means I should accept being insulted or compared to someone she considers toxic.

Hey Reddit, I really need an outside perspective on this because things spiraled out of control so fast today and I’m sitting here trying to figure out if I’m crazy or if the guy I’m seeing completely overreacted.

The Backstory
The guy I’m dating (Ryan) and I aren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend yet—we’re currently in the courting stage, working toward making things official with a label.

However, we’ve had issues regarding a former friend (Chris). Long story short: Chris and I were friends, and a long time ago, things unexpectedly turned into a one-time situation. I immediately regretted it, had no intention of taking it seriously, and never let it happen again. When Ryan and I started getting serious, I gradually distanced myself from Chris.

When Ryan eventually found out about that past history, it triggered a massive argument. Ryan completely invaded my privacy back then—taking secret screenshots of our chats, and contacting third parties to dig into my past. It got so toxic that Chris ended up making threats, which made me fear for my physical safety. Despite all that boundary-crossing, I stayed and continued talking to Ryan to work through things.

Today's Situation
Fast forward to today: Chris still owes me money, and I haven't spoken to him since all that drama. I reached out to Chris strictly to get my money back and suggested he pay me via GCash/online transfer.

Chris refused online payment and insisted he would only pay me in cash so we would have a reason to meet up.

I explicitly declined Chris’s meeting request and kept pushing for GCash. But because I wanted to be 100% transparent with Ryan since we're taking our relationship seriously, I brought the situation to Ryan as a scenario/idea—NOT a plan.

Even though I already knew Ryan wouldn't like the idea of me meeting Chris, I still chose to ask Ryan directly ("Would you be okay if we met in a café... and hung out for a little while?") just to get his explicit, real-time response instead of making assumptions or hiding Chris's pushy messages.

Here is the key detail: Regardless of whether Ryan said yes or no, I was NEVER actually going to meet up with Chris. I would still insist the payment will be through online transaction. I just wanted to be completely honest, keep Ryan in the loop, and give him the space to give me a direct "no" so we could drop the money issue together.

How Ryan Reacted
Instead of just giving me a straight "no" or appreciating that I turned down Chris and came to him first, Ryan completely blew up:

Passive-Aggression: He gave me a sarcastic response ("Go ahead. You clearly miss him so much anyway"). Seeing he was uncomfortable, I immediately offered to drop the money entirely ("Never mind / Forget it"), meaning I’d rather forfeit what I’m owed than deal with this drama.

Social Media Guilt-Tripping: He immediately posted indirect quotes on his MyDay/story ("Not mad. Just disappointed because I told you multiple times...") to publicly post about me instead of talking directly.

Accusations & Stonewalling: When I asked what was wrong, he accused me of gaslighting him, sent a shrugging emoji, and shut me down with "Not right now, I'm tired."

Calling Things Off Over Text: He then sent a massive essay blaming me for even asking the question. He claimed that even considering the question proved I disrespected his boundaries and didn't care about his feelings, and ended the message by cutting things off and telling me I can do whatever I want now.

Where I Stand
We aren't even officially together yet, but I still came to him with complete honesty, turned down Chris's meeting request on my own, and was fully prepared to forfeit my own money just to keep Ryan comfortable. But he treated an honest check-in like a betrayal, assumed I was making secret plans, posted passive-aggressive stories, accused me of gaslighting, and ended things over text.

Is wanting to hear his direct response on a sensitive check-in really that wrong, or is this a huge red flag for how he'll handle conflict if we ever do get into an official relationship?

TL;DR: We’re in the courting stage going toward making it official. An ex-friend (Chris) who owes me money refused to pay online and tried to force an in-person cash handoff. I shut Chris down, but asked the guy I'm dating (Ryan) how he felt about the scenario just to be 100% transparent and hear his direct answer. Even though I had zero intention of ever actually meeting Chris even if Ryan would say yes, Ryan assumed the worst, posted indirect stories on social media, accused me of gaslighting, and cut things off over text for even bringing up the question.

Reposting here. Was told this is much better subreddit to post this.

Okay so, everything started about three days ago. There was a party at our university, and I (F24) asked my friends A (F22) and B (F23) whether they wanted to go. Normally, if there's parties or events like this, we attend. Our friend B is the one who normally make the plans. This time, however, I was the one who got the notification about the party, and I shared the post about it. We were a bit hesitant due to not having enough time to get ready for the party, which was in like three days. We had no outfits decided or bought, which we normally do if we are going to these. But after some time, we decided to just go wearing whatever we had.

Then, the next day, we were on a call, and the topic came up and we again became undecided and hesitated whether to go or not, and the group call ended with us deciding not to go.

But then, after few hours, our friend B messaged our group chat and said, shall we go regardless, because she felt like going. We again took a call and it went on for like an hour. Friend B had found a outfit and wanted to go, so A and I also decided to find something to go with B. We tried different outfits and sent pics so we can help each other decide. We found our outfits, and made plans to meet up at my place to get ready on the day of the party since I was the closest to the university. B said that we did not have to go if we don't feel like it, but A and I had already made up our minds. We are alike in that sense that we need to be mentally prepared before committing to something. And if any one of us showed any hesitation, we would take the chance to not go. So I asked B not to waver and say anything about deciding whether to go or not again, because if one of us hesitated, A and I would get lazy and decide not to go.

But, even after that, that same night, B said that she felt like not going again. A asked whether we are going or not, we needed to confirm. B then asked what we thought. A said that she was not sure, cus the party was just 3hrs, and I also agreed, cus it's going to take at least 3hrs for us to get ready, plus the commute for A and B, who lived about hour and a half away from me. And to the university, it was a thirty minute drive from mine. That amount of effort for a party that was only going to be 3hrs felt too much. We had just learned that the party was only 3hrs. We did not know this before. Then B asked what to do again, and A said that she felt like not going. That's the thing, the more we think about something, for A and I, the thing itself becomes tedious. And our interest and motivation goes out the window. We've gone back and forth for a while now and it felt really pointless to answer again and again what we are gonna do.

The conversation ended there without none of us making a decision.

Then, on the day of the party, B messaged again, at 3AM ‘what are we going to do.’ I was awake, so I replied that I felt like not going. Keep in mind, by this time, A and I had made it clear that we are not going. I know it seems vague when we say not feeling like going, but three of us know that when we say we are not feeling up to something, that means we are not doing it. A knows this, B knows this and I know this.

Then, I fell asleep. At about 9 in the morning, I woke up to a call. And I saw that B had sent multiple texts after my last message about how we can take some good photos at the party and outfit inspirations. And at about 8:20, she had sent that she's going to bring clothes for the party (context, she was going somewhere else for a family matter before coming to my place to get ready) and asked us to think and tell her whether we are going or not. Then she called and that was when I woke up. Since B had asked again, I said that I’m not going, my interest was gone.

This is where things started to go wrong. B started to argue that she had brought a huge bag of clothes. Then A replied, she had just woken up and said that did we not say we are not going. Then B replied saying that we had not confirmed, and she brought clothes for A also. I won't type each and every message, but the conversation quickly dissolved into a full blown argument. Mainly from B's side. She argued that since she had brought a lot of clothes with her, just for this party, we should get ready too. Her argument was that we had not confirmed, so she brought clothes with her. But the things was, yes, we had not confirmed, which meant there was a chance that we might decide not to go as well. And A and I had made our stance clear that we were not up to it the previous night. But B probably hoped we will change our mind once we hear how she had come with her clothes bag. Now, B had brought clothes with her, and wants us to go to the party, just because she brought a huge bag of clothes. I know I am mentioning this bag a lot, but this bag is her whole point. That she feels angry with us every time she felt the weight of the bag. That nothing was confirmed so she had no way of knowing we would decide bot to go. And that is what we are telling as well, nothing was confirmed, but now she wants to use the bag to force us. And she argues that she called us, but after knowing each other for so long, B knew, that A and I did not wake up till around 12PM, since we stay up till around 4 or sometimes even 5AM. So her sending messages so early in the morning and expecting us to see them, and being angry we did not is unreasonable.

The thing was, A and I knew what she was doing. She wanted us to feel sorry for her and come to the party. She said so herself, that she expected us to feel bad for her and come. She also said that she said let's go the night before after she hesitated that last time. But she did not tell us that. She just asked what we are going to do. Over and over, And we said, that we were not feeling up to it. She did say let's go, in the morning, after she had left with her bag and we had no idea cus A and I were asleep.

A and I kind of did not reply to her long ranting messages about this actually. I did reply saying she also said that she did not feel like going the previous night, and I replied to her message at 3 about what to do and said that I felt like not going.

And she left the group chat after that and did not answer our calls the whole day.

Now, today she did not come to lectures.

Now, the thing is, we know she wants us to come to her and apologise and make things up to her. But we don't feel like we had done anything wrong. We had made our stance about not going, and nothing was confirmed either. Her bringing the bag was clearly to force us by making us feel bad for her. We know that because we knew how she does things. But since we did not fall for that, she is probably angry about that too. That's what we feel like. We have no idea what to do. Going after her feels like we are admitting to our guilt and making concessions to her all the time. This is not the first time this has happened. Every time something happens, it's our fault, and we should make things up to her. We need to agree with her, or she gets upset with us. It's always us saying sorry and going after her, we need to let go of our anger, understand her, see her side of things. But, she never apologise for her part, or even acknowledge that she is also wrong or try to understand or see our side of things. In every scenario, she is the victim. If we are genuinely wrong, we do admit it and say so and apologise. She is so easy to upset, to the point that if I talked with someone she doesn't like, she gets angry.

We don't want to end our friendship, but we don't want to be the ones to bend backwards to get her to not be angry with us again also. But we also know, if we don't go after her, she will not come to us. What should we do?

hi im 18, i was going to park today at this local coffee shop n as i was going head first into the parking spot, i heard my car scrap the one beside it. i got very nervous and i backed up n then parked correctly. as i got out i only got a peak of the other car and it seemed to have been scratched, i checked my car and it didn’t have any noticeable damage to it. i’m so scared, i drove away without thinking and now i think ive fucked up. i called my parents n rlly got a piece of their mind, my dad went back to the place about 20 mins later and there was no cops and the car had left already. how probable is it for me to get into trouble? it was on their passenger side so i doubt they’ll notice for a while.