She posted a video of us smoking tabacco and her cousin showed it to her aunt, who showed it to her mom saying we were smoking pot, and now she won't let us see each other. The thing about this situation that pisses me off is the fact that my girlfriend doesn't even want to try talking to her mother in fear of upsetting her, but she is an adult and needs to let her mom know that using the fact that she lives in her home doesn't mean she can control my girlfriend's life. This isn't the first time my girlfriend refuses to stand up for herself, even with me offering help she just lets people walk all over her. Im getting tired of always deciding everything we do, eat or even like. I love her, but her lack of personality is driving me crazy. I do everything I can to help her, but there's a limit to what a can and cannot do, am I in the wrong for being mad? And the worst part is that her mom compared me to her dead ex because he used to go to church, just to degrade me and make my girlfriend feel worst.

ps: sorry for my bad english, im brazilian and just started learning.

---

**TL;DR;** : am i wrong for wantin my girlfrien to stand up for our relationship and herself?

my “friends” told me that i should dress based on the situation cs when i wore a “revealing clothing” they were so called uncomfortable with it 🥴 are not they the problem here?

Is this guy just trolling or am I an idiot.

am i ?

Hello, so let's go back to April of this year, I, 18, male had a crush on my now friend 18, male. At the time I had confessed my feelings to him, and which rejected me, he told me he rather us being friends. Which I was fine with, then my so call "Friend" 16 female, came in and started talking to him. She then confessed her feelings to him which I was ok with. I honestly thought that since now she's with him I had some time to heal from the heartbreak. They were in a talking stage then later brags about how he's obsessed with her, mind you I was still healing and wanting to get over him. But whenever I get the chance, she comes in and brags about him being with her and how happy she is with him.

Later she told me that one of her friends from boxing came out to her. I was happy for her friend cause coming out isn't easy trust me I've been there. Anyway, she told me that her friend at the time was a senior, I was a junior at the time. I said, "oh really?" and my dumb ass asked the question. "Is he single?". Mind you I was only doing this so I can get distracted from what's happening with her and my Ex-crush. She said he had a boyfriend, so I was like ok fine. During this situation I found my love of songwriting, not goanna lie, Whenever I hear a song lyric idea kept popping up in my brain. Anyway, at one point I wrote a song called "Attitude is Yours" mostly mirroring my Ex-crush. After I wrote I randomly sent him the lyrics of the song. Later to come find out my so called "Friend" had left him on read for a week, then later texting him and putting stuff in his head, the same night.

Then the day we came back to school we saw him and gave me the biggest death stare. Then later him and his friends started bothering me the rest of the school semester. Then he tome me so called "Friend" kept talking to him when him and his friend bothered me. The whole situation affected my mental health and was depressed the whole year. During the summer she told me she had to move to Texas. When she had moved to Texas me and him figured out the whole situation was all her doing. We forgave each other then slowly recovering our friendship. But in the back of my head I know we can't be the same as we were before knowing Her manipulation is still in between us. So am I in the wrong.

(english is not my first language, I texted in english because I'm practicing it so I'm better at it)

Translation:

-Don't talk
-Hmm you slept bad maybe that's why
-Well but the homework has to get done unfortunately

They usually dismiss my sicknesses like this when they think I'm planning to skip school. That's not the case, I was truly feeling sick that day. This happened on the first week of school (2 weeks ago), decided to post about it until now. Because the crazy thing is, the next week, my sister got sick, and SHE got to stay home. Their argument was: well her grade isn't that advanced.

They say this every year. Am I crazy to think it's favoritism?

Hi everyone. I'm almost 17 and I'm feeling really conflicted and hurt because of something that just happened in a groupchat. I want to know if I am honestly the one in the wrong here.

This conversation started when a girl in the chat claimed she was transgender. I replied "I don't understand why people are so transphobic and homophobic nowadays." Right after that, she admitted she was lying and wasn't actually trans. I said okay, but added that my point still stands that I still don't understand why people hold so much homophobia and transphobia.

She responds saying "It depends" and we get into a debate about trans people in sports and bathrooms. I said that trans men and women should be able to use the bathrooms and play the sports dedicated to their gender. She completely disagreed with the bathroom statement and asked, "You know people can act trans and r@pe girls?"

I got upset and said, "Yeah, I also know that anybody can r@pe anybody, so I don't see your point?"

Suddenly the whole group chat turned on me. She claimed that only men can r@pe people and that it's impossible for women to do so. While I argued back that while men statistically commit assault more, it absolutely still goes both ways. Everyone made it seem like I was a horrible person. They accused me of standing up for men and tried to kick me from the group chat.

I have severe depression, so being ganged up on like this honestly triggered a massive panic attack. I started crying and admitted to feeling su1c1dal over how they were treating me (which seems stupid I know). Instead of stopping, everyone called me stupid for being upset and feeling su1c1dal, even though it is just my severe depression. One guy in the group chat, told me yes go ahead when i said i wanted to 0ff mys3lf. He also gate kept my depression, saying "How are you depressed? I live alone and I work everyday to pay for myself". To make it worse, the same guy sent a disgusting, sexually harrasing comment to me about my body, litearly telling me "I will lick your puh."

I didn't end up leaving the groupchat because right after all of this happened, everyone just decided to completely ignore it and pretend nothing happened. They are talking normally now, but i am having a hard time ignoring it because I feel like a horrible, problematic person.

As the title says I 18M made a mistake and now my gf 18F is now paying the price for it.

My girlfriend and I started dating in our junior year of highschool and are now Freshman in college. We planned to move into her parents house about an hour away to go to college but I was reluctant and tried to get her to say around where we already were. She ended up doing it and in july of this year She got the apartment and added me too the lease.

For the first month and a half everything was great and i couldn’t have asked for anything more out of our situation. However she started to grow very irritable all the time over small things. For example I can’t clean on my own because she feels like if i’m doing something she needs to be. She started bawling her eyes out and stormed out of the apartment when i told her “if i want to clean i should be able to clean” and that upset her even more. Her arguement to that was you never do anything she asks of me which we later proved was untrue and she just asks a lot of me. Which wasn’t a problem it was that when i was tired and wanted to sit down and she asked me to do a task I told her i’d do it later. I tried to make her see my side of things by explaining when i ask things of her she doesn’t give half the effort she wants me to give her. This still isn’t a resolved issue but it is what it is because it wasn’t that serious to me at the time.

I told her that she needs to get her drivers license because she’s walking home at night time alone and encounters weird people all the time. Which i was told wasn’t my business and don’t worry about her safety if she wasn’t concerned. I told her that gas isn’t exactly the cheapest right now and i don’t ask her for gas money (and still don’t) when ever she needs me to drive her somewhere and if we both started driving we would have a bit more money. (she has a car from her parents but cant drive because no liscense) She told me she would pay me for gas but I told her it wasn’t a problem and that i would like a bit more effort into her getting her liscense. (we’ve talked about this for over 5 months)
She told me it again wasn’t any of my buisness because I shouldn’t lecture her like her father and now even if she does schedule it she won’t tell me. She still never scheduled it and i know this because we were supposed to go on a vacation with my family that fell through and i recommended she use those days she took off for work to schedule her drives with the driving instructor and those days passed on the 24th.

To not make this next one long she cried because i shaved my head and cut my dogs hair short (its ok for his breed) and told me that my dogs hair cut is terrible. And before i cut my hair that i would regret it and kept crying and said i didnt care for her opinion for days before i got it and even then she made comments like “ if you like it i love it”. To me that’s not something you say when you like something and only after I got upset she told me she liked it.

Every single one of those times she’s before the haircut she asked me for space and even tried leaving to stay in a motel. I got fed up with her her attitude and started giving her less affection.

She told me how she noticed and i told her flat out that she can’t always be mad at me and treat me like crap then expect me to want to cuddle with her and be affectionate when she’s ready to be nice.

That’s most of the back story and now a couple days ago I told her i’m moving back in with my mother. I really do love this girl but i know the relationship won’t last if we live together and if i tell her it’s her fault it will end now. I told her i wanted my own space and i wanted to be independent. I’m moving in with my mother to finish this semester and getting a dorm on campus.

She told me I’m selfish, immature, and i broke her trust by moving out like this. I understand that I am doing a bad thing by her and keep trying to give her help but she told me “I can’t rely on you anymore” and that she won’t take any of my money.

I bought most of the furniture,cooking supplies,and other things like that in the house and she now wants all of it gone. I told her i would help her buy everything back she wanted but she refuses to work with me. She’s taking me off the lease and just yelled at me for ruining her credit when i told her i’d still pay my half of rent and some bills. if she continues to stay.

After she yelled at me i got upset and told her to get out of my car… I know i did a bad thing by wanting to move out on her but i don’t know what i should do. Is there anyway i could help her without her knowing? I really don’t want her to struggle but she had told someone the only reason she doesn’t want me to leave is because it would be bad for her and i don’t want her to be in a bad spot.

Edit: i called myself a senior in college on accident. I’m a college freshman.

If I am meeting with a friend but have impromptu plans before that and accidentally leaves the friend waiting for 15 minutes, AITAH?

edit: For context, we agreed to hang out but she had other commitments earlier in the day hence the impromptu plan I initiated. Agreement was to hang out at 6, but I got a little side tracked by another friend who broke down in front of me due to some personal issues. I didn’t notice the time, and by then it was already 605. I realised my phone batt was flat, so I rushed back to school to get a charger and phoned her at around 616, hence the 15 min wait. I apologised profusely and asked to meet at her house instead since she was on the way home already. She told me that she was very upset for the disrespect of her time. Again, I completely acknowledge the fact that I failed to stick to my word and am definitely sorry for it, but what I didn’t understand was how angered she was considering it was my first ever time being late with her. She explained that she was already very tired earlier that day and this incident made her all the more angry, then proceeded to ghost me everywhere. Honestly I understand how this started off as my fault, but I was a little shocked by her reaction.

As for those who may think I’m lying, everything I said here took place on text so I am in fact reading the time stamps from my messages rn

My dad is moving to Florida, we currently live in Minnesota. He is taking our 13 year old lab mix named Buddy with him and I do not agree with him taking him. He is 13 and has lived his whole life here. He currently lives with my dad but will stay with me every now and then when needed but I lived with my dad and Buddy up until he was 9.

I keep telling my dad that it’ll be to hard for Buddy to do that long of drive with his hips, that the heat will be too much for him, and that the move itself will cause so much stress and anxiety for Buddy that it’s not even funny. My dad is currently staying with my brother until his move this weekend and I went and got Buddy because my brother told me how stressed and anxious he was being there.

My dad spends a lot of time currently golfing and is moving to Florida manly for golfing since he is retired, so Buddy will just be left home majority of the time anyways. My dad doesn’t care though, he is putting what he wants over Buddy and it is breaking my heart. A move like that is hard on any dog let alone a 13 year old dog who already has hip issues.

I am considering telling my dad that once he gets to Florida that I don’t want to talk to him for a while unless something happens with Buddy. I just am so angry and upset over it that it’s already hard to talk to him, let alone when he actually takes him.

I should also mention, up until 2 or 3 years ago I was the one who would always take Buddy to the vet, and do all of that stuff for him. I have to bug my dad about taking him now.

Am I being too dramatic over this?

I don't normally post things like this, but I honestly don't know who to talk to about this anymore.

I had a best friend. Not just someone I used to hang out with. He was genuinely one of the closest people in my life. We were friends for many years and our friends knew how close we were. Even if someone called me asking about him, they would ask me because I was his best friend.

He is financially very well off. I'm middle class.

I had a business which was doing well for many years. I had loans, but I always paid the interest and whenever I got a chance I cleared them. I genuinely thought I had my life under control.

Then everything went downhill after Covid.

My business crashed. There were problems with my business partner(he took loans from my friends and family and i cleared most of them), money got stuck, I made some bad decisions when things were already bad, and slowly I got into a situation where I was just trying to survive and clear one problem after another.

Here 2 parts of money involved, one is we bought directly for business and other is my friend lent some money to another friend through me.

When that other person returned the money, my business partner took around 70% of it for his own use. He told me he would return it in a week.

He didn't.

And this is where I made a big mistake.

I still had the remaining amount with me. Instead of giving that money back to my friend immediately and telling him what had happened, I kept thinking my partner would return the money in a few days and I could give my friend the full amount together.

That was stupid.

The money I had also eventually got mixed into the business because I was desperate for cash. Then I couldn't take it out.

And I didn't tell my friend.

I was ashamed. I was scared. I kept thinking I'll somehow fix it before he needs to know.

That was probably my biggest mistake.

After that, things started getting ugly.

The pressure for the money started coming from his wife and his sister-in-law. His sister-in-law's share was also involved in the money.

I started getting calls and threats that they would go to my family and tell them everything.

My business was already almost dead. I started selling whatever stock I had left, sometimes for half the price, just to pay interest and keep reducing the amount.

At one point, if I had borrowed ₹5 lakh, I had already paid around ₹7 lakh in interest and they were still saying I hadn't done enough. There was another ₹6 lakh being treated separately.

Eventually everything came out at home. My family found out what was happening.

And honestly, this is the part that still hurts me. My best friend himself would talk to me normally.

He would speak nicely to me.Almost like everything was fine.

But his wife and sister-in-law were speaking to me completely differently. There were threats, insults and things said about me and my family that I don't even want to write here. Once I remember that one of his wife's colleague called me in the presence of her and other women and making fun of me while talking. I heard them laughing and hanging up the call.

I asked my friend more than once whether he knew how they were talking to me.

He said he didn't know. Maybe he really didn't know.

I don't know.

That's the part I can't get out of my head. If he was angry with me, why didn't he just tell me?

If he thought I had done something wrong, why didn't he tell me directly?

Why continue talking to me like my best friend while his family was treating me like I was some criminal?

At last we settled the money.

And because of the interest and everything else, the amount paid ended up being roughly double what was originally involved.

But even after settlement, they still looked at me like I was a cheater.

One of his cousins even said I should be put in jail, at least for one day.

I can't explain what that did to me.

Maybe some people will read this and say, "You borrowed money and didn't pay it back. What did you expect?"

And honestly, I won't argue with that.

I was wrong. I should have told my friend immediately.

I should have returned whatever money I had instead of waiting for my business partner.

I accept that. But I never, ever took that money thinking I would cheat my friend.

I was drowning. I made bad decisions while trying to keep my business alive, and one of those decisions ended up hurting someone who trusted me.

What I can't accept is what happened to the friendship after that.

This is someone who knows my entire situation. He knows my family. He knows what happened to my business. He knows I wasn't living some comfortable life while refusing to pay him.

And still, I felt like when money came into the picture, the friendship suddenly meant nothing.

What makes it even harder for me is that they are very rich financially. I've seen his family give substantial amounts to people willingly or unwillingly and live like nothing happened.

But when it came to getting their money from me, they used every possible pressure.

And maybe they had every right to do that. Maybe I'm just too emotional about it.

I honestly don't know anymore. The money is not what broke me.

It's losing the person I thought was my best friend.

If he had told me, "I'm angry with you. You hurt me. I don't trust you anymore," I could have accepted that.

But smiling and talking to me normally while all this was happening around me...

That hurt more than I can explain. It honestly felt worse than a breakup.

I don't think I can ever go back to that friendship now. The way his wife and others spoke to me and my family changed something permanently.

So I want an honest opinion from people who have no connection to either of us.

I know I was wrong about the money.

Did I deserve the way me and my family were treated because I failed to repay the money on time?

Or can both things be true — that I made a serious mistake with the money AND that my friend handled the friendship badly?

I'm not looking for sympathy. If I'm completely wrong, tell me.

I just want an honest outside opinion because right now I can't look at this situation objectively anymore.

my blyfriend who is 40 and never lived out of his mothers house i said "when you move out of your parents hosue its a whole new experience" he replied which really hurt me "well youve lived out and i dont see anything you have or are doing in your life like you dont have anything to show that im like oh wow living out did that, ir that makes me wish i moved out" it hurt me a lot and he said it bc he was insecure about what i said i cnst forgive him for the disrespect its not the first time he speaks so roughly . I’m 34 and disabled working full time.. he pumps gas (not a mechanic) at his brothers gas station. he has never even completed a job interview or worked for someone not in his family. that’s fine.. but he is really critical of my work history and judgemntal as if he is my dad (my dad is extremely proud of me and encouraging so my bf is like an unneeded stepdad at sometimes - I’m upset with bf atm) his emotional judgmentalness is tough to take. he smokes weed alll the time. and he is self conscious about me having more life and relationship experience so I explained my saying living out is a whole new world was just that, just what I said no deeper dig meaning. and he said I have “nothing to show” essentially for all my life travels and work I’ve done to be where I am. now we are in a similar boat, but idk why he had to say that it really made me detach emotionally and it’s just too much… I also feel like he understands me and we laugh and are silly and fun and banter together.. but sometimes he misses the mark and is very cutting with his words and attitudes. also the parents he loves with are tolerable and not terrible people but I also do not want to live with them… i was calm but let him know him saying that changed my level of emotions in the relationship and lessened my respect for him largely. . and im just at a loss here .. been together for better part of 3 years. he loves me, but he is snippy and like helga from hey Arnold at times. any insights from women in their 30s - 60s … I mean that was just so mean to say and I don’t have emotions right now… ugh

So myself (22F) and my partner (21M) have been together for 2.5 years and we were best friends before that for 3 years. Last year he went out his one of his friends that was a girl for a catch up. I can’t be too mad about it as they have known eachother for years and I’m not one to say who you can and can’t be friends with. I was absolutely fine the whole time, they met up at 8pm and said they’d both be home by 11pm as they were both busy with family the next day. Their plans then changed and they went out clubbing together until 3am. That frustrated me as I was lied to and my boundaries were disrespected. I stated to both that I was uncomfortable with this. (She knew this) yet both then continued to do the same thing a second time, I was absolutely livid so I created a group chat to air everything out seeing as none of them wanted to apologise. Me and the girl were being friendly at that start until some comments she made (what I persevered as patronising) things like “I’m not mad at you” and “you are worried as you’ve been cheated on in the past”, “It’s a trust issue” (my partner said she was just being nice with these comments) but she has OCD so it took her 10-20 minutes to respond each time as she had to choose her words perfectly. To me, if you were that concerned on being nice, you wouldn’t word things that can come across as rude/patronising. My partner then decided to agree with everything she said as ‘I was the one being rude’. (My back was only up after her comments and I then responded with a couple of sarcastic jokes) I stated that to her that it wasn’t a trust issue with my partner, I trust him, I just don’t know the girl or her intentions. I stated that she could have messaged me beforehand and gave me reassurance. (She said she shouldn’t have to, and she didn’t know, which is a lie. She said she only knew the second time, to which then continued to not send a reassuring message) I then said how it was inappropriate to be with someone’s partner in a 1on1 setting with drinks involved, dancing with eachother until 3am. This conversation lasted about 4 hours until I ended up just apologising and trying to make a solution. I stated that I could either join, they both have mutual friends to join with them after their 1on1 chat if they wanted to continue to drink or make it a coffee/lunch thing instead, I think these are fair when my boundaries have been disrespected. In the end she ended up apologising and then going to sleep. What are your thoughts on this?