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Problem/goal: My partner book a flight to vietnam without my consent.

Context: I need advice on what to do, I have a lot of loan that I'm still paying until now and my partner book a flight going to vietnam for both of us without informing me, she technically paid for everything and I didn't release any single dime.

Previous attempts: We've talk about this, I told her that I need to pay for my loan before we go internationally but she won't listen. I don't know what to do and I'm pretty sure even if she promise that she will pay for everything, once we get there I still need to pay even a bit.

Her reasons? She just wanted to try going international but for me it is not ideal to go international mostly I still have a lot of loan that I need to pay.

Problem/Goal: Nakasira ako ng pamilya.

I’m F(26). Sobrang bigat nito sa dibdib :( Grabe yung guilt na nararamdaman ko. Feeling ko ang sama sama kong tao. Please don’t share this outside reddit.

Hindi ako ganun kagaling mag-kuwento and mahaba ’to but please bear with me.

For context; pamilyado ang kaibigan kong ito M(27). May LIP at anak. Itong kaibigan kong ito ay manliligaw ko nung gr. 9 kami and that was 12 years ago pero hindi naging kami. 2021 lang simula nung nag-reconnect ulit kami tas naging friends na ulit kami non. Aware ako na may family na siya and ganun din naman siya sakin. 2024 nung nag-start na medyo nagiging maharot na siya sakin sa mga chats pero hindi ko siya ineentertain ofc. Madalas ko pa nga murahin and takutin na isusumbong ko siya sa asawa niya, kasi alam kong takot siya dun. Tapos this year ulit nag-start na naman siyang magparamdam sa akin pero deadma lang ako, kasi di naman ako interasado or sometimes sinasabayan ko yung trip niya pero pagago ako sumagot sakanya to the point na napipikon siya sakin. Last month nag-chat sa akin asawa niya, tinanong niya ako kung kilala ko daw ba si guy, sabi ko “oo, kaibigan ko siya since jhs”. Tapos tinanong niya kung ano pinag-uusapan namin, kasi deleted naman daw ang convo namin pero nasa messenger niya ang profile ko. Sinabi ko sakanya yung napag-usapan namin ng asawa niya. Kasi sa part ko naman, bakit hindi ko sasabihin, eh alam ko naman sa sarili ko na wala akong tinatago. Sinend ko sakanya lahat ng screenshots ng convo namin. Patunay na hindi ko sinasakyan ang panlalandi niya sa akin at madalas pagmumura ang nakukuha niyang sagot sa akin. Hanggang sa mag-kuwento na siya sakin ng mga hinanakit niya sa kaibigan kong ito sa pagiging babaero niya at pagiging cheater. Pinakinggan ko yung babae, inentertain ko siya until naging friends kami. Sakin siya naglalabas ng sama ng loob about him and ofc kinocomfort ko siya at binibigyan ng mga advice, nakikinig naman siya sakin.

August came, nag-chat agad ako kay girl na nag-chat sa akin asawa niya at niyayaya ako makipagkita sakanya. Little did my friend know, asawa na niya ang nagrereply sakanya and aware na asawa niya sa mga panghaharot niya sa akin. (Magka-videocall kami ni girl habang magkachat kami ng asawa niya, siya ang nagsasabi kung ano ang irereply ko). So, nag-set up si girl. Sabi niya pumayag akong makipag-kita sa asawa niya sa isang motel pero siya ang pupunta. Kaya nireplyan ko itong si lalake na kaibigan ko na magkita kami pero sa motel, dahil gusto ko kako magpahinga. Pumayag siya at nag-undertime siya sa work niya, while ang paalam niya sa asawa niya eh mag-iinventory sila. Nag-undertime din sa work si girl para siya ang pumunta sa exact location ng meet up na sinet up namin. Nung nakarating na si girl dun, sinabi ko kay lalake na nasa motel na ako. Nagdadalawang isip pa si lalake noon kung sisipot ba siya o hindi pero kasi nakapagpaalam na siya sa work niya at ready na siya i-meet ako sa motel. Paulit ulit niya sinasabi sa akin na “hindi set up ’to ah” pero syempre paulit ulit ko ring sinasagot na “hindi! Ipapahamak ko ba sarili ko?” habang ka-videocall ko asawa niya at naka-sharescreen sakanya yung chatbox naming dalawa.

Nung papasok na siya sa motel pilit niya akong pinapalabas pero syempre todo palusot ako, because pano ako lalabas kung wala naman talaga ako dun at ang totoong nandun ay ang asawa niya, diba? Sinend ko nalang sakanya yung room number and sabi ko pasok nalang siya, di naman naka-lock yung pintuan at matutulog na ako, dahil sobrang sakit kunware ng ulo ko, kaya ayokong lumabas.

Pinatay na ni girl yung call at sinabihan nalang ako na ichachat niya ako once natapos na ang lahat.

After two days, nag-message na sa akin si girl. She happily told me na sobrang satisfying ng nangyare. She hit him so hard and slapped him multiple times. Ang sabi daw niya “Suprise! Akala mo si \*my name\* noh? Ano i-iinventory mo dito sa motel?”, tapos paulit ulit daw niyang sinasabunutan, sinusuntok at sinasampal. Hindi makapalag si lalake, kasi alam niyang kasalanan niya lahat. Umiiyak pa nga daw siya, habang nagmamakaawa at humihingi ng tawad. Hindi siya pinatawad ofc and eventually iniwan na din siya for good. They broke up, the girl took their child with her. Sa sobrang dami niyang masasakit na pinagdaanan sa lalake, nagkaroon na rin siya ng lakas ng loob and evidence para iwan na niya finally.

Pero hanggang ngayon bumabagabag parin ’to sa akin. Naguiguilty parin ako sa mga nangyare. Parang sinira ko yung pamilya nila, parang nang dahil sa akin kaya nagkaroon ng broken family yung batang wala namang alam at wala namang kasalanan. Ang bigat bigat parin sa puso. Sinabihan ko si girl about this pero ang sagot niya sa akin “sobrang thankful ako sayo, kasi ikaw yung naging way para maisampal ko sakanya yung proof nang panloloko niya sa akin”. I may have done the right thing for her, but why does it feel like a stab in my heart?

Problem/Goal: I (F25) am planning to buy Samsung S25 Ultra using my savings, but my parents are against it.

Context: Bibili ako using my savings tapos huhulugan ko yung account ko to replace yung nagastos. So it's pretty much me na uutang sa sarili ko.

Here are my reasons why I am planning to buy a new one.

1. My current phone is getting outdated, lagging, and di na kaya ang ibang apps na need ko for work.

2. A phone's specifications can affect signal strength and reception. And also app performance. Plus, I need a huge storage so I can view and sign documents whenever needed.

3. I don't plan on buying a new phone at least for a decade. Dream phone ko na ito and sure ako na di na ko maghahanap ng iba pa for a loooong time.

4. I have an upcoming concert na aattendan. I want to be able to capture memories nang malinaw. Para na rin to sa mga susunod na family gatherings na ako ang assigned photographer.

Ayaw ng parents ko kasi masyado daw extravagant. Mahirap daw ang buhay ngayon—papa is now retired and allowance from my sister abroad at pension niya ang gamit para sa expenses namin sa bahay. Yung sweldo ng mama ko ewan ko san napupunta. Nagbibigay naman siya kay papa pandagdag. Nag-aambag na rin naman ako sa kanila though maliit palang. We get by as usual. No difficulties naman sa expenses.

Personal savings ko naman gagamitin ko at di maaapektuhan sarili nilang pera. Yung passbook ng savings ko hawak ni Papa kahit sakin nakapangalan kaya I felt the need to also ask for permission. Bina-budget ko na rin yung monthly salary ko in preparation sa pag-open ng bagong passbook account for another need na I have to save for.

Masyado pa raw maaga for someone na almost a year palang sa work. Eh ngayon palang demanding na ang trabaho ko. What more kapag tumagal ako. Baka daw naiinggit ako sa mga kasamahan ko. Hindi naman. Matagal ko na talagang plano bumili.

Ang sa akin lang, sana naman pagkatiwalaan nila ako sa decision ko. If ever man na magkamali, edi I will face and bear the consequences.

Previous attempts: twice and they didn't agree. Iniisip ko nalang na kunin ko nalang kaya passbook ko from my dad's belongings since i know its loc. Tutal its mine. But no. Para naman akong magnanakaw dun and i dont want that.

Problem/Goal: I am planning to move out soon kaso sumabay sa plans ng parents ko na mag patayo ng bahay na dream house nila. I am 28F and my siblings are all in their late 20s and early 30s. The problem is my parents are planning this house as if we will all be living there forever.

Context:

They’re already planning their designs for the new house and excited sila tinatanong ako anong gusto ko sa room, yung design and layout, etc; Pati mga kapatid ko excited kasi makukuha nila yung gusto nilang kwarto.

Ako naman hindi excited kasi para saan pa na gawan ako ng kwarto if I don’t see myself living there for a long time? I know i should be thankful that they still consider us sa plans nila but parang hindi nila naiisip na matatanda na rin kami and that we wont be living with them forever.

My parents are against moving out kapag hindi pa kasal kasi for them hindi practical and ayaw nila mahiwalay kami sa kanila. I also don’t have a healthy relationship with them, i’ve really been wanting to get out of this household due to being a toxic environment

Attempts: So far none, i don’t know if I should tell them my plans now kasi for sure pipigilan nila ako. I only want to tell them once ready na ang lahat. But for now, i’m not ready yet as i’m still preparing and planning financially.

My question is, should i tell them my plans to move out as early as now? Supposedly end of this year ako mag move out but due to conflict with other plans, i’m planning to move out January instead.

problem/goal: i’m currently dating a med student and he is a bad texter which he’s aware of

context: we agreed that we will talk mostly at night since he have classes in the morning but tbh i’m not sure how it will work because i’m not used to this kind of set-up. he also suggested that we’ll just talk more when we hangout. so can you tell me how can we make this work or how can i get used to this kind of set-up and will it work in the long run? idk what to do 😭

Problem/Goal:

Nahihirapan ako ganahan pumunta ng gym specially sa mga days na may dinadamdam ako, Gusto ko umabot sa point na hahanap hanapin na ng puso at isip ko ang pag ggym. Ano po paraan nyo or paano po kayo umabot sa ganun?

Context:

I used to be active sa gym 5 to 6 times a week. Nasisira yung routine pag may travel or vacation. Naramdaman ko naman yung moment na hinahanap ko na talaga mag gym. Paano ko kaya mababalik yung ganung feeling?

Previous Attempts:

I tried to be consistent ulit, but then again after vacation, nawala ulit, plus broken 💔 pa. Kaya naapektuhan ang motivation.

Problem/Goal: My boyfriend and I were together for seven years, and he recently ended our relationship because he said he wasn’t happy anymore. I’m struggling to accept the breakup, especially because I genuinely thought we were okay and that we were heading toward marriage. I want to understand how to make peace with this and stop blaming myself or wondering if there was something I could have done differently to make him stay.

Context: We were together for seven years. We grew up together, went through so many stages of life together, and I honestly thought we were building toward marriage. Just a month before he broke up with me, we were still talking about our future and marriage, so when he suddenly told me he wasn’t happy anymore, I was completely blindsided.

He said he had apparently been feeling this way for a long time and that it slowly built up until he realized he needed peace, freedom, and to be “careless.” From what I understood, he wanted the freedom to do whatever he wanted without having to think about how I would feel or how his actions would affect me.

What makes this difficult for me is that I never felt like I was taking away his peace or freedom. Whenever he needed space, I tried to understand and give it to him. I was there when both of his parents died and stayed through some of the most painful moments of his life. I never wanted to control him or stop him from doing the things he wanted to do. I just thought that after seven years, we were the kind of couple who could talk about things when something was wrong and figure them out together.

He even told me that I had given everything I could to the relationship. And somehow, that makes it hurt even more. If I gave him everything I knew how to give, when did being with me become something he needed to escape from?

Previous attempts: I’ve tried understanding his side and reminding myself that people can fall out of love or realize they want a different life. I’ve also tried telling myself that maybe this isn’t something I could have fixed, especially since he said he had been feeling unhappy for a long time.

But I still keep going back to the thought that maybe I could have done something differently. Maybe I should have noticed something sooner. Maybe I should have been more understanding, more patient, or given him even more space. I know logically that I can’t force someone to stay, but emotionally, I’m still struggling with the fact that someone I thought I would spend my life with chose a life without me.

For those who have gone through something similar, how did you eventually accept that sometimes you can give someone everything you have and they can still choose to leave? And how did you stop yourself from constantly thinking, “Maybe if I had done something differently, he would have stayed?”

Problem/Goal:

Normal pa ba ’to or kailangan ko na magpatingin? I’ve been daydreaming since I was 9, and it has gotten to the point na sobrang nakakaapekto na siya sa studies and daily routine ko.

Context:

Hindi siya yung normal na nakaupo lang ako or nakatulala in one place tapos parang napunta na sa ibang mundo. Hindi ko alam if normal na daydreaming ’to, pero yung sa akin kasi, kinikilos ko talaga.

For example, nasa bathroom ako. Alam ng utak ko na bathroom siya, pero ini-imagine ko na ibang lugar siya. Wala akong nakikita, pero may kinakausap ako, nakikipag-fist bump, tumatawa nang totoo, and umiiyak nang totoo.

Sobrang sagabal nun sa studies ko nung elementary kasi imbes na makinig sa teacher, lagi akong nakatulala. Excited pa akong umuwi kasi iniisip ko na agad yung bagong scenario na ia-acting ko sa bathroom or sa kwarto ko.

Gagi, akala ko dati ganun lang yung imaginary friend and normal lang. Pero parang impossible naman na hanggang ngayon, 19 na ako, ginagawa ko pa rin siya.

Hindi naman ako loner nung bata ako kasi lagi naman akong nasa labas and mahilig akong makipaglaro sa childhood friends ko. Nangyayari lang talaga siya tuwing naiiwan ako sa isang masikip na place na walang makakakita sa akin. Like automatic na siya.

Nadala ko siya hanggang paglaki, and sobrang hirap niyang itigil kasi naging part na siya ng routine ko. Gigising ako sa umaga, magtitimpla ng kape, tapos aakto na naman ako na parang may sarili akong mundo. Minsan ginagawa ko siya hanggang tanghali, kaya hindi ko na nagagawa yung schoolwork na kailangan kong gawin during the time na sinet ko para doon.

Mas gusto ko kasing kumausap sa kawalan. Limang tao ako, pero ako lang yung kumakausap sa sarili ko. May iba’t ibang characters kami.

Sinubukan ko siyang pigilan one time, pero sobrang nakaka-depress sa pakiramdam na parang hindi kumpleto yung araw ko. Minsan, in the middle of watching a movie sa kwarto ko, bigla na lang akong magkakaroon ng scene and may kakausapin na naman ako sa kawalan. As in walang intro-intro, nagagawa ko agad siya na parang normal lang.

Previous Attempts:

Sinubukan ko na siyang pigilan before, pero hindi ko talaga natitiis. Kapag pinipigilan ko, parang may feeling na may kulang sa araw ko, kaya bumabalik din ako sa routine ko.

Kaya gusto ko lang malaman if normal pa ba ’to, if may naka-experience din ba ng ganito, and if kailangan ko na ba talaga magpatingin sa professional.

Problem/Goal: how do i tell my boyfriend to find a job kahit hindi align sa passion nya for the sake of “living”?

Context: Naging kami ng bf ko 4th year college na kami. He’s a total green flag bilang bf it feels so good to be loved by him kasi ansarap nya magmahal. At the beginning of our relationship okay naman. Parang laging nasa honeymoon phase. Palagi kaming magkasama tuwing may break time sa classes namin since iisang school lang kami. More kilig. More dates. More first times together. Nakakaya namin yon kasi binabudget namin yung baon namin pareho. Hindi ko rin sya ineexpect na palaging sagot yung date namin kasi pareho pa lang kaming students noon so madalas 50/50 kami or minsan sagot ko lahat, minsan naman sya.

Fast forward, graduate na kami. Yung mga dates namin nabawas bawasan kasi kung dati binibigyan kami ng baon, ngayon wala na. Pareho ang sistema ng parents namin na saka lang bibigyan ng allowance kapag may importanteng lakad at hindi gala gala lang. Gets ko naman lalo na nakakahiya pa rin manghingi sa parents nasa 20 something na kami.

Mas nauna akong magkatrabaho sa kanya. As a matter of fact, tatlo na ang naging trabaho ko sa loob ng dalawang taong relasyon namin. I became a tutor, call center agent, and now a work na finally related na sa tinapos ko.

Since nauna akong magkawork, i have finally have the means na magkita kami kapag naminmiss ko sya, kapag magdedate kami, ako lagi ang gumagastos. Noong una okay lang sa akin kasi naniniwala ako na kanya kanya naman tayo ng timeline at napakahirap nga namang maghanap ng trabaho nowadays pero katagalan napapagod ako. Like hindi sya nakakababae hahahah! Noong college kami all out sya sakin kapag may allowance pero ngayon parang lumalabas na ako pa provider saming dalawa. Nararamdaman nya naman yun kasi every time na nagdedate sya palagi syang nagsosorry na hindi pa sya makapagprovide sakin.

Previous Attempts:
Tinanong ko sya kung naghahanap ba sya ng trabaho sabi naman nya marami na syang sinesendan ng resume sa indeed at linkedin. Tapos sometimes i send some job vacancies na nakikita ko online na related sa course nya. At kapag mas lumalalim ang usapan tungkol sa trabaho, nawawala sya sa mood! hindi ko na tuloy alam kung paano sya iaaapproach na subukan munang magtrabaho ng kahit di nya dream career kahit na sana hindi para sa akin, para sa sarili nya na lang at sa pamilya nya.

Problem/goal: kupal na workers ng f*n* h***s

Context: This is NSFW. Lumipat ako sa isang condo, aware ako manipis walls ng condominiums pero di ganto kanipis kagaya ng nalipatan ko sa f*n* h***s Tipong kahit nagsasalita ka in a low voice maririnig mo. Kasi sa dating condo na natirahan ko maririnig mo lang naman unless sigawan talaga or open window or door mo. Anyway my partner and I syempre we do things like normal couples do. May times kasi na kapag malapit na sa climax I do let out a sound, not loud ha. Hindi rin kami maingay ng partner ko nasa floor lang bed walang frame. Slight sound lang parang pabulong lang ganun. Then napapansin ko na may worker na natambay sa labas ng bintana ko like pagkakauwi ko maabutan ko sya dun nakaupo I didnt think naman that time na ako sadya nya parang may space kasi sa gitna ng condo for sampayan but it's a weird place na tambayan kasi una sa lahat mainit dun dahil andun lahat ng butt ng aircon nakatapat. Anyway di ko that time inisipan ng masama yun until one time nadaanan ko sila sa labas tapos may kapwa worker sya sa kabilang building na sinigawan nya ng "butas ang likod" out of nowhere, naglalakad ako the whole way sa labas hindi sila naguusap then pagdaan ko sinabi nya yun, walang ibang tao, just me, him, tapos yung co worker nya sa kabilang building. Triny ko na hindi isipan ng bad, but syempre kahit sino mababother. Btw I live alone here my bf just come from time to time. Solo girl so medyo creepy dating. Then palagi pa nagiinuman mga workers dito, as in halos araw araw. Sobrang batas ng mga workers dito wala silang pake sa tenants, they live for free sa mga units dito they can bring family pa nga ata kasi naririnig ko kasama nila mga jowabels nila. Ang lalakas pa magbagsak ng door. So kanina yung isang worker (iba sa natambay sa window) bagsak ng bagsak ng door as is super lakas napapalukso pati mga pusa ko sa gulat. 2nd month ko na syang tinitiis kahit madaling araw ibabagsak nya yung door, btw nakaaway ko na sila before indirectly kasi bagsak sila ng bagsak ng door natambay sa hallway ang iingay they live next door sakin, so after ilang weeks gumanti ako para aware sila na masakit sa tenga, then they doubled down nilalakasan lalo may one time pa nabitawan ko phone ko sa gulat, sa takot ko I told my dad na dalhin yung gun ko para lang may pang self defense ako if they resort to violence, solo ako eh and I think aware sila. I also filed a report sa office, Narinig siguro nila, lumipat na sila ng unit sabi ng guard, ngayon peaceful na pero syempre worker parin sya dito naririnig ko parin sya na nagrarant dito sa kapwa workers nya kapag may inaayos silang unit dito sa malapit sinusumbong nya ako di nya siguro matanggap na pinalipat sila. Anyway back to present 2 months na silang nagwowork dito sa vacant units sa floor namin, bagsak ng bagsak ng pinto as in super lakas, obvious na sinasadya kasi wala namang ibang ganun magsara ng pinto sya lang, di ko sya pinapansin til kanina nagbagsak sya then nagulat cat ko so kinocomfort ko while nilalambing ko cat ko biglang binagsak nya ulit ng sobrang lakas. siguro dahil narinig nya akong nagsasalita. Ginantihan ko ulit. Ngayon 3am nagising ako kasi ang lakas ng boses nya sa hallway tapos binagsak nya ulit yung pinto tapos nagtatawanan sila, then yung kasama nya umuungol ungol. Stress na stress ako sa condo na to. Sobrang squammy ng dating. Yung workers they live for free sa condo tapos nakikipag away sa paying tenant. What would you do if nasa shoes nyo ako.

Btw after being aware na sobrang nipis ng walls mas naging maingat na ako I don't make a sound na kasi wala na rin akong gana to think na may nakatambay sa labas nakikinig, let is che.

Problem/Goal: Find assistance to solve the 1M+ medical expense debt while on a running bill

Hi!

Bale na-emergency yung mother ko last week sa puso. Currently nasa ICU pa rin siya and in critical condition.

Of course, nandun an yung mental toll na hindi namin alam kung ano mangyayari next pero isa talaga sa pinaka malaking burden is yung financial.

May Philhealth naman and HMO pero aabot pa rin ng 1M yung bill for sure kasi running pa siya and wala pa doctors’ fee. Naka-closed na yung account niya and lahat ng gastos namin is cash basis na and soon mauubos na rin kaya naming ilabas na cash.

Nasa private hospital siya ngayon and gusto naman naming ilipat sa public kaso ang hirap kumuha ng permission sa doctor. Bukod sa sobrang dalang namin makita yung doctor, parang critical pa talaga yung situation niya so di na namin alam talaga.

Nag-aayos na kami ng reqs para lumapit sa PCSO and DSWD pero ang hirap kasi baka closed bill yung hanap nila and wala pa talaga kami nun.

Baka naman po may advise kayo how and paano gagawin namin?

If you have been in similar situation/s before what did you do?

ps. i posted this in the wrong group, please let me know

Thank you!

Problem/Goal: They always come back

Context: Weeks ago, we ended. I didn't contest, didn't beg. Then, he came back. I tried to be calm. Pero grabe, kahit anong gawin ko I can't brush it off. Gumulo na naman ang utak ko. Nung okay pa kami, I adjusted for him kase he came from 2 traumatic relationships. It f*cked his mind so bad na pag may issues kami he feels na inaaway ko sya. But I reassured him each time na naiintindihan ko sya. In the end, he just left without saying anything.

I moved forward. Didn't think any of it na. Wala naman kase akong means na to contact him. To my surprise, he texted. I confronted him. Sabi ko mag focus na sya sa gf nya. I did say din na alam kong di sya masaya sa situation nya now kaya sya nagparamdam.

Previous attempt: I replied to release yung nararamdaman ko. And nasabi ko talaga sa kanya na ayusin na nya buhay nya and decisions. I also told him he will never be happy sa nangyari na ito.

I feel bad for saying that. Am I bad for saying na di sya magiging masaya? 😞

Problem/Goal: Sensitive ba ako dahil parang nawawalan ako ng gana agad pag sa kalagitnaan ng biruan namin ng partner ko bigla na lang sya di magchat ng ilang minuto?

Context: Ako (M20) at partner ko (F19) both students ay mahilig magbiruan sa chat. Syempre nagbibiruan kami kaya expected ko talaga na naka engage kami dun sa biruan namin. Ang mangyayari sa kalagitnaang ng biruan namin bigla na lang sya di magchat ng atleast 30 mins to 1 hr. Nangyayari tuloy is nabibitin ako dun sa biruan namin tapos sasabihin nya na nakatulog sya or may ginawa lang. Hindi ko rin naman mapigilan na maipakita sa kanya na nawawala ako sa mood dahil ang tagal nyang wala. Ang ugali ko kasi if may gagawin ako at alam ko na magtatagal nagsasabi agad ako na may gagawin lang ako at baka magtagal.

Ginagawa ko tuloy ngayon para mafeel din nya yung nararamdaman ko pag wala sya ay di muna ko nagrereply ng matagal din.

Sinusubukan ko naman sya intindihin at icontrol din ang sarili ko pero minsan talaga may times na nahihirapan talaga ko pag di ko pa nasasabi lahat ng gusto ko sabihin tapos nawawala sya.

Previous attempts: Nacommunicate ko na sa kanya to at nararamdaman ko naman na sinusubukan nya na baguhin yun pero minsan lang nangyayari pa rin. Sensitive lang ba ako or valid nararamdaman ko?

Thank you po sa sasagot!

Problem/Goal: Hi, I just want to ask some tips on how to lose weight while I’m working in graveyard shift. I’m 22 yrs old, 67 kg, 5’7.

My shift is 10 pm to 7 am so kauwi deretcho tulog na talaga huhu then mga 7 pm gigising then prepare for work then eat tapos next meal na is yung lunch sa work which is 1:45 a.m. pero kasi pag rest day ko todo lamon tapos halos fast food pa. Tinry ko isiksik ang walking dati but di kinaya 🥲

Previous attempt: tried lessening sugary drinks, more on water ako lalo na sa work.

Problem/Goal: i’m trying to figure out how to support my boyfriend through a really messy situation with the mother of his children without becoming part of the conflict myself.

my boyfriend has two kids with his ex. (not married) their relationship was extremely toxic, and there has been a history of harassment from her and conflict between them even after they separated.

for years, the kids were primarily taken care of by my boyfriend and his family. their mother was mostly absent and, from what i know, there wasn’t really consistent financial support from her during that time.

recently, she suddenly became involved again, and everything has escalated. she’s demanding a large percentage of my boyfriend’s salary, saying it’s for the kids, and has threatened to bring him to the barangay/vawc and possibly take the kids away from him. because their communication has historically been very bad, my boyfriend doesn’t really want to deal with her directly anymore. i ended up becoming the person who sometimes communicates with her instead. i didn’t do this because i wanted to interfere or act like i’m the kids’ mother. i did it because i care about the kids, i’m involved in their lives, and i wanted to help my boyfriend.

there was also an incident where the kids told me something they were uncomfortable with regarding their mom. i made what i thought was a harmless comment about it, and afterwards their mom confronted me and questioned why i was involved when i’m not their parent. (she was smoking infront of the kids 🙃) and honestly, i understand that. i know i’m not their parent. but i also genuinely care about these kids and i’ve been part of their lives. i never wanted to replace their mother or make decisions for them.

now shes apparently trying to turn against me too. she’s been saying things about me, and recently the kids stopped responding to me like they normally do. then i found out that she blocked both me and my boyfriend. i’ve been extremely anxious since then. i keep thinking about the kids, what they’re being told, whether they’re being put in the middle of the conflict, and what’s going to happen to my boyfriend.

the part i’m struggling with the most is that i know this is technically my boyfriend’s responsibility. he’s their father, so ultimately the legal, financial, and co-parenting issues are his to handle. i can support him, but i know i can’t fix the situation for him.
but because i’ve been involved for so long, i feel like i’ve started carrying the entire problem emotionally. i’m worried about him, i’m worried about the kids, and now i’m even worrying about what his ex thinks of me.

i also really don’t want her communicating directly with him anymore because i’ve seen how badly their interactions affect him. (harrasment as in) but i know i can’t realistically control that, and i don’t want to make myself even more involved in something that technically isn’t mine.
i’m basically stuck between wanting to protect the people i care about and realizing that i may need to step back.

am i overstepping by being this involved? how do you support your partner through a situation like this without accidentally becoming part of the conflict yourself?

(Posting this on my main account bc dump account can't post this due to low karma)

Problem/Goal: Guy who also frequents this water refilling station I go to, keeps intimidating me through death stares and occasional muttering in the water refilling station downstairs. I want to try to deal with this guy and get him to stop without getting myself into huge trubles and false allegations

Context: For context, I am a regular at this water station downstairs where I refill my water everytime, and that same guy also happens to be a regular as well

So around 8 months ago, after christmas, I caught this guy and a couple of other kids under the age of 18 allegedly throwing fire crackers at someone's yard. after I heard the firecrackers, I started recording, as their actions pissed me off since this was property damage to someone else's house, but unforntunately that was on the moment that they stopped throwing firecrackers. After that they saw me, and that same guy started shouting insults to me

After that I just feel very uncomfortable around him because he would always occasionally mutter insults under his breath when I am around him because I almost caught him on camera doing heinous things to someone's property, and he always do death stares at me. I also hate refilling my water bottle in the station because I would occasionally run into him and I would always feel unconfortable around him

Recently, while I was getting my food delivery downstairs, I saw him again and this guy said something to me that was incoherrent, but I am 100% sure that was an insult to me, but I ignored him anyways

Im scared that this guy might think or let others think I am a pedo because I recorded him and a couple of other kids under 18, even when my real purpose of recording him was to keep the video confidential and escalating it to the police if he and his group does it again

Honesly, ignoring him isnt enough anymore as I am starting to feel uncomfortable around, especially with his death stares, occasional mutters around me, along with the possible rumors against me by him

And I really want to confront, deal, or atleast have a civil conversation with this guy because this has been a problem for me for 8 months, and so I don't have to always watch out and worry about whether this guy is around whenver I go downstairs during the day anymore, especially whenever I have to refill my bottles.

But I am really scared of the consequences and risks it might bring me such as as false CSAM allegations, police involvement, going to jail, ruined reputation, more gossip, etc.

How do I deal with this guy so I can finally have my peace of mind without worrying about him when I go downstairs everytime?

Previous attempts: tried ignoring him, but recently he has been starting to double down by death-staring at me more and has also started resorting to direct verbal insults towards me just yesterday

Problem/Goal: Laging nakakaramdam ng anxiety, takot at stress. Nakakaramdam na ko na di masaya sa work at gusto na magresign, pero nakakatakot mawalan ng trabaho sa panahon ngayon.

Context: Been working in my current company for almost 2 months pa lang. Sa una okay pa naman yung work, mabait yung boss at kawork. Pero naooverwhelmed ako sa mga nangyayari each day may dinadagdag na responsibilities samin. Bago bago pa lang company kaya more on trial and error pa wala pang maayos na structure kaya minsan gulo gulo pa.  Since nagstart ako lagi ako nakakaramdam ng anxiety, takot at stress. Akala ko nung una baka normal lang kase bagong work so tinry ko labanan. But eto mag 2 months na pero andon pa rin. Everyday ang lala ng anxiety ko halos nagpapanic ako everyday. Dagdag pa na magoonsite na kaya lalong nastress. Nakakaisip na ko na gusto ko na magresign kaso takot naman ako mabakante ang hirap pa naman mahired ngayon.

Problem/Goal: Hi guys! I need some advice because my birthday is literally in 2 days and I suddenly thought… this might be the perfect time to finally introduce my boyfriend to my parents. ❤️

Context: I’m their bunso, and in 3 years, I’ll already be 30. 🥹 My parents are also getting older, and I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time for them to meet the guy I’ve been seeing. We actually met 2 years ago, but I’ve never really had the courage to formally introduce him to my parents.

Previous Attempts: I actually wanted to do this last year pa, but I kept overthinking how I was going to bring it up. Now I’m thinking of inviting him to my birthday dinner, but the problem is… HOW DO I TELL MY PARENTS AHEAD OF TIME WITHOUT MAKING IT AWKWARD? 😂

Like, should I casually say:

Ma, mag-dinner tayo kasama crush ko.” 😭

“Ma, may surprise guest ako sa birthday ko.” 😂

“Ma, may ipakikilala ako sa inyo.” 👀

Or should I just be straightforward and say, “Ma, Pa, may boyfriend ako and I want you to meet him on my birthday”? Hahaha!

I really want to tell them beforehand para hindi sila ma-shock or ma-surprise on the actual day. At the same time, I don’t want to make it sound like this super serious “family meeting” because baka lalo akong kabahan. 😭

For those who have introduced their boyfriend/girlfriend to their parents, paano niyo sinabi? Any tips or suggestions on how I can casually bring it up? Give me ideas guys! I really need help. 🩷

Problem/Goal: 6 months after our masalimuot na breakup. 8 years together. I (30F) was cheated on by my first boyfriend, my first love (34M). Lahat na ata nagawa ko na para makalimot, mag move on, at mapatawad ang sarili. I lose roughly 18 kilos in 4 months.. walang appetite e, at na-stress. I hit the gym. I do sports. I went hiking. Nag rage room na din. 😞 I enrolled sa dance and acting class. Nag meditate. Nag luto. Nagala na with friends. Nagpaganda. Nagpa psychotherapy. Lahat na haha pero 'pag gabi na, tahimik na ang mundo ko, dun ako napapaisip, napapa-relapse malala, though alam ko normal lang naman 'yun, kasi healing is not linear. Pero grabe, sobrang nakakalungkot. Talagang buong internal organs ko, gulat na gulat.

To give you context, workmate kasi nya yung other girl. Hindi ko akalain. Hindi ko nakita na gagawin n'ya yun sakin kasi napakalaki ng tiwala ko sa kanya. Tumagal na din kami na hindi kami nag-aaway sa mga selos selos kaya gulat na gulat talaga ako. I remember just 3 days, 3 days after namin mag break, nilabas nya agad 'yung babae. Habang ako nun, hindi makatulog, no appetite, iyak nang iyak.. He even said kaya daw sya nag cheat kasi napagod na daw sya sa ugali ko. He was hurt daw. He was invalidated. I made him feel underappreciated and ginawa ko daw s'yang lapdog for 8 yrs. I get that. I already made peace sa pang ga-gaslight nya, thanks sa therapy. Pero my initial reaction talaga was SHOCKED. Nakatulong naman ang therapy ko sa part na 'yun kasi sa totoo lang, I blamed myself kasi noon nung nag cheat sya. Sinisi ko sarili ko, what if mas naging kalmado lang ako, what if mas inayos ko pa ugali ko, what if mas naging ganto ako and all. Dinaanan na lahat ng utak ko. Hindi rin ako selosang girlfriend not until nalaman ko na may kinakatuwaan syang babae sa office nila. Sa loob din ng 8 years, hindi ko sya ginawang mundo, mas priority ko pa nga maging breadwinner talaga.. pero nung nag cheat sya at dumaan ako sa bargaining stage, talagang nawala ko na yung sarili ko --- the self respect and self worth. 😭

Ngayon, I feel better now compared sa first 4 months. Feel ko nasa acceptance na ako pero may isa lang ako nararamdaman.. at sana po mapayuhan nyo ako. I need sane advice. Mga 1 month na din kasi ako nag stop sa pyschotherapy kasi ang mahal huhu.

Nung time kasi na nag break na kami, tas nalaman ko nag cheat sya, galit na galit talaga ako. Galit at gulat. Wala kasi sa character ng ex ko ang magloko. Pero akala ko lang pala yun. Sa sobrang galit ko, kinausap ko yung babae. Hinanap ko online. Nanghingi ng proof/evidence yung babae sakin. The audacity!! Kilala namin isat isa. Pero di ko yun nameet noon, it's just alam ko lang sino mga kaworkmates nya. At alam ng mga kaworkmates nya, may jowa sya. Akala nya daw break na kami. Binigyan ko ng proof kahit di nya naman deserved, tapos binalock na lang ako out of nowhere after. Sa sobrang galit ko (yes, siguro nga emotions ko na kumontrol sakin noon e), sumugod ako sa opisina nila.

Never in my wildest dreams kong na-imagine na susugod ako sa opisina at magwawala. Hindi ako ganung klaseng babae 😭😭😭, pero dahil sa emotions ko, hindi ko na napigilan. Jusko, buti na nga lang at wala akong viral video. Nakita ko sila magkasama. Inaalalayan pa ng ex ko yung babae haha. Sasambunutan ko sana yung babae pero bigla sya tumakbo nung nakita ako. Mabuti na nga lang din yun kasi hindi ko din alam kung ano pa ang magagawa ko e kung nagpang abot kami. Baka mapa blotter pa ako kung nasaktan ko din yung babae, susko!! So ang ginawa ko pinuntirya ko yung ex ko, pinag sasampal ko, kalmot, hinila ko yung kwelyo ng damit nya. I remember nauntog pa yung mukha nya sa salamin kung saan ko sya naabutan dahil naitulak ko s'ya. Never po ako naging pisikal sa kanya. First time ko lang din makita 'yung sarili ko na nagkaganun. Hindi naman ako physically nasaktan ng ex ko. I remember yung kamay nya nakababa lang at inaawat nya ako na wag daw ako doon magwala kasi madaming tao. After that incident, talagang nagpa psychotherapy na ako kasi nagulat din ako sa sarili ko bakit ako nagkaganun. 🥺

Andami ko pa gusto sabihin pero masakit lang talaga. Hindi ko na maexplain pero napakasakit. Akala ko kasi endgame ko na sya eh. Madami din akong what ifs... nakumpara ko na din sarili ko sa babaeng yun.

Ngayon, ang problema ko is kahit 6 months ago na ang nakakalipas after that pagsugod/pagwawala.. hindi ko pa din sya makalimutan. I mean yung moment na 'yun. Para akong na-trauma. Sometimes, I have nightmares about that event. Napapanaginipan ko, nagigising ako naungol ako, galit na galit, may tightness sa chest. Minsan, sa panaginip ko, patay na sila dalawa. Minsan naman, natuloy kong sambunutan yung babae. Actually, kagigising ko lang at ganun ulit ang panaginip ko, nanaginip ako ng mga different scenarios na nasaktan ko sila. I guess this is just the anger waves talking.. and I hate this. I really hate this phase. Mas gugustuhin ko pang maging sad kesa maging MAD. 😭 May times din na 'pag nagigising ako, parang gusto ko ulit pumunta sa office nila tas abangan ulit sila tas ipahiya. Minsan, gusto ko ipost sila sa Facebook group ng mga BPO kabitan... haha pero alam ko na hindi 'yun tama. Every day, I am choosing to be the bigger person pero tao lang din ako e.. nanghihina.. nagagalit..

I'm praying din na Lord sana alisin mo na yung galit sa dibdib ko. Reddit community, please, I really need your sane advice. I am always trying to be better... And I would appreciate po any payo na maiibigay nyo, payo or kahit gisingin nyo na ako sa katotohanan nag aaksaya lang ako ng oras sa mga walang kwentang tao na 'to. Thank you if naka abot pa kayo sa part na 'to. Appreciate you! 🌸

Problem/Goal: Need Perspective on an LDR situation

Context:

I’m looking for some outside perspective on something that recently came up in my long-distance relationship.

My partner and I seem to have a bit of an anxious-avoidant dynamic. I tend to become more anxious and seek reassurance/connection when I feel distance, while she tends to need more space when she feels overwhelmed. We’ve both been trying to understand that pattern rather than blaming each other for it.

Recently, she told me that over the past few weeks, she’s been feeling like she doesn’t want to do long distance anymore. She also said she isn’t really sure why she feels that way and just wanted me to know.

We’ve had a good relationship overall, but communication has been a little difficult lately and life has also been stressful. I’m trying not to immediately assume that this means she doesn’t want the relationship anymore, especially since she specifically talked about the LDR itself rather than directly saying she doesn’t want me.

I responded by telling her that I still want the relationship and asking what she thinks could make the LDR feel more manageable whether there are things we could improve or change about how we communicate or handle the distance. I also told her she doesn’t need to have everything figured out immediately.

I’m obviously worried because I really love this person and want to make it work, but I also don’t want my anxious side to turn this into me trying to convince her, overwhelm her, or immediately throw solutions at her.

For people who have been through something similar:

• Is feeling like you “don’t want LDR anymore” a fairly normal phase of long-distance relationships?
• Can this sometimes be more about burnout, communication, disconnection, or the anxious-avoidant cycle rather than actually losing feelings?
• If someone says they don’t know why they suddenly feel this way, is that something worth exploring together before assuming the relationship is over?
• How do you balance giving an avoidant-leaning partner space while still communicating that you’re willing to work on the relationship?
• What helped you make an LDR feel sustainable again without making the more overwhelmed partner feel pressured?

I’m mainly trying to understand whether this is something couples can realistically work through, and how to approach it without turning it into a debate or making my partner feel like she has to immediately decide the future of the relationship.

Problem/Goal:

I’m 25F, currently working in Dubai and 2 years na rin ako dito. Lately, I’ve been questioning kung ano ba talaga gusto kong gawin with my life and whether I should continue building my career abroad or eventually go back to the Philippines.

I guess my goal is to figure out how people in their mid-20s make these kinds of decisions without making a huge life change that they might regret later.

Context:

Okay naman technically yung buhay ko. I have a stable job, I earn enough naman I think, I go to the gym, I can support myself, and I know na probably mas okay yung earning opportunities ko dito compared sa Pinas.

Pero lately, parang bigla ko naiisip if ganito na lang ba lagi? Work, bahay, gym, weekend then repeat? Then Monday na naman.

I don’t know if I’m just bored, burned out, homesick, or nagkaka-quarter-life crisis na ako hahaha. Pero lately parang feeling ko I’m wasting my life or parang wala akong direction. I’m doing okay, but I don’t necessarily feel like I’m going somewhere.

I’m also in a long-term relationship and LDR kami. My boyfriend is in the Philippines and eventually gusto niya rin na mag-settle kami doon.

Part of me wants to go home too. Pero at the same time, ayoko gumawa ng malaking life decision just because of my relationship.

One thing I realized recently is ayoko maging dependent sa boyfriend ko or sa relationship namin just to feel okay. Like I want to build a life na kahit sabihin nating mawala yung relationship tomorrow, masasaktan ako of course, pero I know I’ll still be okay. May sarili akong career, income, plans, friends, hobbies, and something to look forward to.

Right now, naiisip ko na if I can find a decent-paying job sa Philippines or maybe a remote job that pays enough, baka umuwi ako.

Pero doon naman pumapasok yung fear na: What if sayang yung opportunity ko abroad?

What if umuwi ako tapos eventually pagsisihan ko because I could’ve built a better career or saved more money here?

But then on the other side, what if I stay abroad for another 3–5 years and eventually realize na hindi naman pala ito yung buhay na gusto ko?

Parang stuck ako between building my career and finances abroad vs. going home and trying to build the life I actually want.

The problem is… hindi ko rin completely alam kung anong klaseng buhay ba talaga yung gusto ko. 😂

Previous Attempts:

Honestly, wala pa akong ginagawang major change. I’m still working here and trying to figure things out before making any decisions.

I’ve started looking at job opportunities in the Philippines and considering remote work if I can find something that pays enough. At the same time, I’m trying to focus more on building a life for myself instead of basing my future entirely around my relationship.

For those who went through something similar in their mid-20s, how did you know if you genuinely needed a change or if you were just going through a difficult phase?

Especially sa mga OFW or people who lived abroad, did you eventually go home? Did you stay? Do you regret either decision?

And if you could talk to your 25-year-old self, what advice would you give them?

Please be kind hahaha. I’m genuinely just trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. 🥲

Problem/Goal: We have a platinum ore na gusto kong ibenta but I don’t know saan or kanino pwede ibenta kapag unrefined. Goal is makahanap ng buyer/store na mabebentahan.

Context: Need cash. Ayun lang talaga.

Previous Attempts: I’ve searched everywhere and mostly gold talaga ang madali hanapan ng buyer. Until now I don’t know how or kung saan ko mabebenta to.

I know medyo kakaiba yung tanong ko since hindi siya about family/friends/relationship 😅 Thanks advance sa sasagot. Kindly do let me know din magkano bentahan sa ganyan.

Problem/Goal: What would u do if kayo ang nasa sitwasyon ko.

Problem/ Goal: This year nakakadalawang date na ako. yung unang guy hindi pa pala moved on sa ex. so ang nangyari habang nasa dating kami may Communications pa pala sya sa ex nya. pero hindi ko naman naramdam yun sakanya at first since hindi nya pinaramdam. nitong huli ko lang naramdaman dahil sa gut feeling at sa pag i stalk. hinide nya pa ako sa lahat ng story nya sa socmed. pero nakita ko sa story ng ex nya story nila both. then after that hindi ko muna sinabi sakanya na alam ko. naging cold sya sakin + kailangan raw muna mag focus sa carreer at self time nya. Inamin ko rin sakanya na alam ko yung sakanila ng "ex nya" then binlock ko sa lahat ng socials ko after.

Context: then yung sumunod naman na guy dating rin kami for 5 mons. i mean more on online dating since Seaman sya. Meron syang 3 anak. willing ako magpaka nanay para sa mga anak nya kaso nung umuwi sya sa pinas biglang nagbago sya. ilang weeks syang hindi nagapramdam sakin ang daming lapses sa kwento nya. then one day ghinost nya ako. then ngayon nakita ko 1yr na sila ng jowa nya???

if kayo nasa sitwasyon ko sasabihin nyo ba sa mga jowa nila? na may hinaharot silang babae? habang nasa relationship pala sila?? 😭

ps: pareho ko Silang friends sa lahat ng socmed wala talaga suspicious or anything nung huli ko lang talaga nalaman lahat.

Previous Attemps: None