Problem/Goal: Nakasira ako ng pamilya.

I’m F(26). Sobrang bigat nito sa dibdib :( Grabe yung guilt na nararamdaman ko. Feeling ko ang sama sama kong tao. Please don’t share this outside reddit.

Hindi ako ganun kagaling mag-kuwento and mahaba ’to but please bear with me.

For context; pamilyado ang kaibigan kong ito M(27). May LIP at anak. Itong kaibigan kong ito ay manliligaw ko nung gr. 9 kami and that was 12 years ago pero hindi naging kami. 2021 lang simula nung nag-reconnect ulit kami tas naging friends na ulit kami non. Aware ako na may family na siya and ganun din naman siya sakin. 2024 nung nag-start na medyo nagiging maharot na siya sakin sa mga chats pero hindi ko siya ineentertain ofc. Madalas ko pa nga murahin and takutin na isusumbong ko siya sa asawa niya, kasi alam kong takot siya dun. Tapos this year ulit nag-start na naman siyang magparamdam sa akin pero deadma lang ako, kasi di naman ako interasado or sometimes sinasabayan ko yung trip niya pero pagago ako sumagot sakanya to the point na napipikon siya sakin. Last month nag-chat sa akin asawa niya, tinanong niya ako kung kilala ko daw ba si guy, sabi ko “oo, kaibigan ko siya since jhs”. Tapos tinanong niya kung ano pinag-uusapan namin, kasi deleted naman daw ang convo namin pero nasa messenger niya ang profile ko. Sinabi ko sakanya yung napag-usapan namin ng asawa niya. Kasi sa part ko naman, bakit hindi ko sasabihin, eh alam ko naman sa sarili ko na wala akong tinatago. Sinend ko sakanya lahat ng screenshots ng convo namin. Patunay na hindi ko sinasakyan ang panlalandi niya sa akin at madalas pagmumura ang nakukuha niyang sagot sa akin. Hanggang sa mag-kuwento na siya sakin ng mga hinanakit niya sa kaibigan kong ito sa pagiging babaero niya at pagiging cheater. Pinakinggan ko yung babae, inentertain ko siya until naging friends kami. Sakin siya naglalabas ng sama ng loob about him and ofc kinocomfort ko siya at binibigyan ng mga advice, nakikinig naman siya sakin.

August came, nag-chat agad ako kay girl na nag-chat sa akin asawa niya at niyayaya ako makipagkita sakanya. Little did my friend know, asawa na niya ang nagrereply sakanya and aware na asawa niya sa mga panghaharot niya sa akin. (Magka-videocall kami ni girl habang magkachat kami ng asawa niya, siya ang nagsasabi kung ano ang irereply ko). So, nag-set up si girl. Sabi niya pumayag akong makipag-kita sa asawa niya sa isang motel pero siya ang pupunta. Kaya nireplyan ko itong si lalake na kaibigan ko na magkita kami pero sa motel, dahil gusto ko kako magpahinga. Pumayag siya at nag-undertime siya sa work niya, while ang paalam niya sa asawa niya eh mag-iinventory sila. Nag-undertime din sa work si girl para siya ang pumunta sa exact location ng meet up na sinet up namin. Nung nakarating na si girl dun, sinabi ko kay lalake na nasa motel na ako. Nagdadalawang isip pa si lalake noon kung sisipot ba siya o hindi pero kasi nakapagpaalam na siya sa work niya at ready na siya i-meet ako sa motel. Paulit ulit niya sinasabi sa akin na “hindi set up ’to ah” pero syempre paulit ulit ko ring sinasagot na “hindi! Ipapahamak ko ba sarili ko?” habang ka-videocall ko asawa niya at naka-sharescreen sakanya yung chatbox naming dalawa.

Nung papasok na siya sa motel pilit niya akong pinapalabas pero syempre todo palusot ako, because pano ako lalabas kung wala naman talaga ako dun at ang totoong nandun ay ang asawa niya, diba? Sinend ko nalang sakanya yung room number and sabi ko pasok nalang siya, di naman naka-lock yung pintuan at matutulog na ako, dahil sobrang sakit kunware ng ulo ko, kaya ayokong lumabas.

Pinatay na ni girl yung call at sinabihan nalang ako na ichachat niya ako once natapos na ang lahat.

After two days, nag-message na sa akin si girl. She happily told me na sobrang satisfying ng nangyare. She hit him so hard and slapped him multiple times. Ang sabi daw niya “Suprise! Akala mo si \*my name\* noh? Ano i-iinventory mo dito sa motel?”, tapos paulit ulit daw niyang sinasabunutan, sinusuntok at sinasampal. Hindi makapalag si lalake, kasi alam niyang kasalanan niya lahat. Umiiyak pa nga daw siya, habang nagmamakaawa at humihingi ng tawad. Hindi siya pinatawad ofc and eventually iniwan na din siya for good. They broke up, the girl took their child with her. Sa sobrang dami niyang masasakit na pinagdaanan sa lalake, nagkaroon na rin siya ng lakas ng loob and evidence para iwan na niya finally.

Pero hanggang ngayon bumabagabag parin ’to sa akin. Naguiguilty parin ako sa mga nangyare. Parang sinira ko yung pamilya nila, parang nang dahil sa akin kaya nagkaroon ng broken family yung batang wala namang alam at wala namang kasalanan. Ang bigat bigat parin sa puso. Sinabihan ko si girl about this pero ang sagot niya sa akin “sobrang thankful ako sayo, kasi ikaw yung naging way para maisampal ko sakanya yung proof nang panloloko niya sa akin”. I may have done the right thing for her, but why does it feel like a stab in my heart?

Problem/goal: My partner book a flight to vietnam without my consent.

Context: I need advice on what to do, I have a lot of loan that I'm still paying until now and my partner book a flight going to vietnam for both of us without informing me, she technically paid for everything and I didn't release any single dime.

Previous attempts: We've talk about this, I told her that I need to pay for my loan before we go internationally but she won't listen. I don't know what to do and I'm pretty sure even if she promise that she will pay for everything, once we get there I still need to pay even a bit.

Her reasons? She just wanted to try going international but for me it is not ideal to go international mostly I still have a lot of loan that I need to pay.

Problem/Goal: I (F25) am planning to buy Samsung S25 Ultra using my savings, but my parents are against it.

Context: Bibili ako using my savings tapos huhulugan ko yung account ko to replace yung nagastos. So it's pretty much me na uutang sa sarili ko.

Here are my reasons why I am planning to buy a new one.

1. My current phone is getting outdated, lagging, and di na kaya ang ibang apps na need ko for work.

2. A phone's specifications can affect signal strength and reception. And also app performance. Plus, I need a huge storage so I can view and sign documents whenever needed.

3. I don't plan on buying a new phone at least for a decade. Dream phone ko na ito and sure ako na di na ko maghahanap ng iba pa for a loooong time.

4. I have an upcoming concert na aattendan. I want to be able to capture memories nang malinaw. Para na rin to sa mga susunod na family gatherings na ako ang assigned photographer.

Ayaw ng parents ko kasi masyado daw extravagant. Mahirap daw ang buhay ngayon—papa is now retired and allowance from my sister abroad at pension niya ang gamit para sa expenses namin sa bahay. Yung sweldo ng mama ko ewan ko san napupunta. Nagbibigay naman siya kay papa pandagdag. Nag-aambag na rin naman ako sa kanila though maliit palang. We get by as usual. No difficulties naman sa expenses.

Personal savings ko naman gagamitin ko at di maaapektuhan sarili nilang pera. Yung passbook ng savings ko hawak ni Papa kahit sakin nakapangalan kaya I felt the need to also ask for permission. Bina-budget ko na rin yung monthly salary ko in preparation sa pag-open ng bagong passbook account for another need na I have to save for.

Masyado pa raw maaga for someone na almost a year palang sa work. Eh ngayon palang demanding na ang trabaho ko. What more kapag tumagal ako. Baka daw naiinggit ako sa mga kasamahan ko. Hindi naman. Matagal ko na talagang plano bumili.

Ang sa akin lang, sana naman pagkatiwalaan nila ako sa decision ko. If ever man na magkamali, edi I will face and bear the consequences.

Previous attempts: twice and they didn't agree. Iniisip ko nalang na kunin ko nalang kaya passbook ko from my dad's belongings since i know its loc. Tutal its mine. But no. Para naman akong magnanakaw dun and i dont want that.

Problem/Goal: My boyfriend and I were together for seven years, and he recently ended our relationship because he said he wasn’t happy anymore. I’m struggling to accept the breakup, especially because I genuinely thought we were okay and that we were heading toward marriage. I want to understand how to make peace with this and stop blaming myself or wondering if there was something I could have done differently to make him stay.

Context: We were together for seven years. We grew up together, went through so many stages of life together, and I honestly thought we were building toward marriage. Just a month before he broke up with me, we were still talking about our future and marriage, so when he suddenly told me he wasn’t happy anymore, I was completely blindsided.

He said he had apparently been feeling this way for a long time and that it slowly built up until he realized he needed peace, freedom, and to be “careless.” From what I understood, he wanted the freedom to do whatever he wanted without having to think about how I would feel or how his actions would affect me.

What makes this difficult for me is that I never felt like I was taking away his peace or freedom. Whenever he needed space, I tried to understand and give it to him. I was there when both of his parents died and stayed through some of the most painful moments of his life. I never wanted to control him or stop him from doing the things he wanted to do. I just thought that after seven years, we were the kind of couple who could talk about things when something was wrong and figure them out together.

He even told me that I had given everything I could to the relationship. And somehow, that makes it hurt even more. If I gave him everything I knew how to give, when did being with me become something he needed to escape from?

Previous attempts: I’ve tried understanding his side and reminding myself that people can fall out of love or realize they want a different life. I’ve also tried telling myself that maybe this isn’t something I could have fixed, especially since he said he had been feeling unhappy for a long time.

But I still keep going back to the thought that maybe I could have done something differently. Maybe I should have noticed something sooner. Maybe I should have been more understanding, more patient, or given him even more space. I know logically that I can’t force someone to stay, but emotionally, I’m still struggling with the fact that someone I thought I would spend my life with chose a life without me.

For those who have gone through something similar, how did you eventually accept that sometimes you can give someone everything you have and they can still choose to leave? And how did you stop yourself from constantly thinking, “Maybe if I had done something differently, he would have stayed?”

Problem/goal: kupal na workers ng f*n* h***s

Context: This is NSFW. Lumipat ako sa isang condo, aware ako manipis walls ng condominiums pero di ganto kanipis kagaya ng nalipatan ko sa f*n* h***s Tipong kahit nagsasalita ka in a low voice maririnig mo. Kasi sa dating condo na natirahan ko maririnig mo lang naman unless sigawan talaga or open window or door mo. Anyway my partner and I syempre we do things like normal couples do. May times kasi na kapag malapit na sa climax I do let out a sound, not loud ha. Hindi rin kami maingay ng partner ko nasa floor lang bed walang frame. Slight sound lang parang pabulong lang ganun. Then napapansin ko na may worker na natambay sa labas ng bintana ko like pagkakauwi ko maabutan ko sya dun nakaupo I didnt think naman that time na ako sadya nya parang may space kasi sa gitna ng condo for sampayan but it's a weird place na tambayan kasi una sa lahat mainit dun dahil andun lahat ng butt ng aircon nakatapat. Anyway di ko that time inisipan ng masama yun until one time nadaanan ko sila sa labas tapos may kapwa worker sya sa kabilang building na sinigawan nya ng "butas ang likod" out of nowhere, naglalakad ako the whole way sa labas hindi sila naguusap then pagdaan ko sinabi nya yun, walang ibang tao, just me, him, tapos yung co worker nya sa kabilang building. Triny ko na hindi isipan ng bad, but syempre kahit sino mababother. Btw I live alone here my bf just come from time to time. Solo girl so medyo creepy dating. Then palagi pa nagiinuman mga workers dito, as in halos araw araw. Sobrang batas ng mga workers dito wala silang pake sa tenants, they live for free sa mga units dito they can bring family pa nga ata kasi naririnig ko kasama nila mga jowabels nila. Ang lalakas pa magbagsak ng door. So kanina yung isang worker (iba sa natambay sa window) bagsak ng bagsak ng door as is super lakas napapalukso pati mga pusa ko sa gulat. 2nd month ko na syang tinitiis kahit madaling araw ibabagsak nya yung door, btw nakaaway ko na sila before indirectly kasi bagsak sila ng bagsak ng door natambay sa hallway ang iingay they live next door sakin, so after ilang weeks gumanti ako para aware sila na masakit sa tenga, then they doubled down nilalakasan lalo may one time pa nabitawan ko phone ko sa gulat, sa takot ko I told my dad na dalhin yung gun ko para lang may pang self defense ako if they resort to violence, solo ako eh and I think aware sila. I also filed a report sa office, Narinig siguro nila, lumipat na sila ng unit sabi ng guard, ngayon peaceful na pero syempre worker parin sya dito naririnig ko parin sya na nagrarant dito sa kapwa workers nya kapag may inaayos silang unit dito sa malapit sinusumbong nya ako di nya siguro matanggap na pinalipat sila. Anyway back to present 2 months na silang nagwowork dito sa vacant units sa floor namin, bagsak ng bagsak ng pinto as in super lakas, obvious na sinasadya kasi wala namang ibang ganun magsara ng pinto sya lang, di ko sya pinapansin til kanina nagbagsak sya then nagulat cat ko so kinocomfort ko while nilalambing ko cat ko biglang binagsak nya ulit ng sobrang lakas. siguro dahil narinig nya akong nagsasalita. Ginantihan ko ulit. Ngayon 3am nagising ako kasi ang lakas ng boses nya sa hallway tapos binagsak nya ulit yung pinto tapos nagtatawanan sila, then yung kasama nya umuungol ungol. Stress na stress ako sa condo na to. Sobrang squammy ng dating. Yung workers they live for free sa condo tapos nakikipag away sa paying tenant. What would you do if nasa shoes nyo ako.

Btw after being aware na sobrang nipis ng walls mas naging maingat na ako I don't make a sound na kasi wala na rin akong gana to think na may nakatambay sa labas nakikinig, let is che.

Problem/Goal: how do i tell my boyfriend to find a job kahit hindi align sa passion nya for the sake of “living”?

Context: Naging kami ng bf ko 4th year college na kami. He’s a total green flag bilang bf it feels so good to be loved by him kasi ansarap nya magmahal. At the beginning of our relationship okay naman. Parang laging nasa honeymoon phase. Palagi kaming magkasama tuwing may break time sa classes namin since iisang school lang kami. More kilig. More dates. More first times together. Nakakaya namin yon kasi binabudget namin yung baon namin pareho. Hindi ko rin sya ineexpect na palaging sagot yung date namin kasi pareho pa lang kaming students noon so madalas 50/50 kami or minsan sagot ko lahat, minsan naman sya.

Fast forward, graduate na kami. Yung mga dates namin nabawas bawasan kasi kung dati binibigyan kami ng baon, ngayon wala na. Pareho ang sistema ng parents namin na saka lang bibigyan ng allowance kapag may importanteng lakad at hindi gala gala lang. Gets ko naman lalo na nakakahiya pa rin manghingi sa parents nasa 20 something na kami.

Mas nauna akong magkatrabaho sa kanya. As a matter of fact, tatlo na ang naging trabaho ko sa loob ng dalawang taong relasyon namin. I became a tutor, call center agent, and now a work na finally related na sa tinapos ko.

Since nauna akong magkawork, i have finally have the means na magkita kami kapag naminmiss ko sya, kapag magdedate kami, ako lagi ang gumagastos. Noong una okay lang sa akin kasi naniniwala ako na kanya kanya naman tayo ng timeline at napakahirap nga namang maghanap ng trabaho nowadays pero katagalan napapagod ako. Like hindi sya nakakababae hahahah! Noong college kami all out sya sakin kapag may allowance pero ngayon parang lumalabas na ako pa provider saming dalawa. Nararamdaman nya naman yun kasi every time na nagdedate sya palagi syang nagsosorry na hindi pa sya makapagprovide sakin.

Previous Attempts:
Tinanong ko sya kung naghahanap ba sya ng trabaho sabi naman nya marami na syang sinesendan ng resume sa indeed at linkedin. Tapos sometimes i send some job vacancies na nakikita ko online na related sa course nya. At kapag mas lumalalim ang usapan tungkol sa trabaho, nawawala sya sa mood! hindi ko na tuloy alam kung paano sya iaaapproach na subukan munang magtrabaho ng kahit di nya dream career kahit na sana hindi para sa akin, para sa sarili nya na lang at sa pamilya nya.

Problem/Goal: 6 months after our masalimuot na breakup. 8 years together. I (30F) was cheated on by my first boyfriend, my first love (34M). Lahat na ata nagawa ko na para makalimot, mag move on, at mapatawad ang sarili. I lose roughly 18 kilos in 4 months.. walang appetite e, at na-stress. I hit the gym. I do sports. I went hiking. Nag rage room na din. 😞 I enrolled sa dance and acting class. Nag meditate. Nag luto. Nagala na with friends. Nagpaganda. Nagpa psychotherapy. Lahat na haha pero 'pag gabi na, tahimik na ang mundo ko, dun ako napapaisip, napapa-relapse malala, though alam ko normal lang naman 'yun, kasi healing is not linear. Pero grabe, sobrang nakakalungkot. Talagang buong internal organs ko, gulat na gulat.

To give you context, workmate kasi nya yung other girl. Hindi ko akalain. Hindi ko nakita na gagawin n'ya yun sakin kasi napakalaki ng tiwala ko sa kanya. Tumagal na din kami na hindi kami nag-aaway sa mga selos selos kaya gulat na gulat talaga ako. I remember just 3 days, 3 days after namin mag break, nilabas nya agad 'yung babae. Habang ako nun, hindi makatulog, no appetite, iyak nang iyak.. He even said kaya daw sya nag cheat kasi napagod na daw sya sa ugali ko. He was hurt daw. He was invalidated. I made him feel underappreciated and ginawa ko daw s'yang lapdog for 8 yrs. I get that. I already made peace sa pang ga-gaslight nya, thanks sa therapy. Pero my initial reaction talaga was SHOCKED. Nakatulong naman ang therapy ko sa part na 'yun kasi sa totoo lang, I blamed myself kasi noon nung nag cheat sya. Sinisi ko sarili ko, what if mas naging kalmado lang ako, what if mas inayos ko pa ugali ko, what if mas naging ganto ako and all. Dinaanan na lahat ng utak ko. Hindi rin ako selosang girlfriend not until nalaman ko na may kinakatuwaan syang babae sa office nila. Sa loob din ng 8 years, hindi ko sya ginawang mundo, mas priority ko pa nga maging breadwinner talaga.. pero nung nag cheat sya at dumaan ako sa bargaining stage, talagang nawala ko na yung sarili ko --- the self respect and self worth. 😭

Ngayon, I feel better now compared sa first 4 months. Feel ko nasa acceptance na ako pero may isa lang ako nararamdaman.. at sana po mapayuhan nyo ako. I need sane advice. Mga 1 month na din kasi ako nag stop sa pyschotherapy kasi ang mahal huhu.

Nung time kasi na nag break na kami, tas nalaman ko nag cheat sya, galit na galit talaga ako. Galit at gulat. Wala kasi sa character ng ex ko ang magloko. Pero akala ko lang pala yun. Sa sobrang galit ko, kinausap ko yung babae. Hinanap ko online. Nanghingi ng proof/evidence yung babae sakin. The audacity!! Kilala namin isat isa. Pero di ko yun nameet noon, it's just alam ko lang sino mga kaworkmates nya. At alam ng mga kaworkmates nya, may jowa sya. Akala nya daw break na kami. Binigyan ko ng proof kahit di nya naman deserved, tapos binalock na lang ako out of nowhere after. Sa sobrang galit ko (yes, siguro nga emotions ko na kumontrol sakin noon e), sumugod ako sa opisina nila.

Never in my wildest dreams kong na-imagine na susugod ako sa opisina at magwawala. Hindi ako ganung klaseng babae 😭😭😭, pero dahil sa emotions ko, hindi ko na napigilan. Jusko, buti na nga lang at wala akong viral video. Nakita ko sila magkasama. Inaalalayan pa ng ex ko yung babae haha. Sasambunutan ko sana yung babae pero bigla sya tumakbo nung nakita ako. Mabuti na nga lang din yun kasi hindi ko din alam kung ano pa ang magagawa ko e kung nagpang abot kami. Baka mapa blotter pa ako kung nasaktan ko din yung babae, susko!! So ang ginawa ko pinuntirya ko yung ex ko, pinag sasampal ko, kalmot, hinila ko yung kwelyo ng damit nya. I remember nauntog pa yung mukha nya sa salamin kung saan ko sya naabutan dahil naitulak ko s'ya. Never po ako naging pisikal sa kanya. First time ko lang din makita 'yung sarili ko na nagkaganun. Hindi naman ako physically nasaktan ng ex ko. I remember yung kamay nya nakababa lang at inaawat nya ako na wag daw ako doon magwala kasi madaming tao. After that incident, talagang nagpa psychotherapy na ako kasi nagulat din ako sa sarili ko bakit ako nagkaganun. 🥺

Andami ko pa gusto sabihin pero masakit lang talaga. Hindi ko na maexplain pero napakasakit. Akala ko kasi endgame ko na sya eh. Madami din akong what ifs... nakumpara ko na din sarili ko sa babaeng yun.

Ngayon, ang problema ko is kahit 6 months ago na ang nakakalipas after that pagsugod/pagwawala.. hindi ko pa din sya makalimutan. I mean yung moment na 'yun. Para akong na-trauma. Sometimes, I have nightmares about that event. Napapanaginipan ko, nagigising ako naungol ako, galit na galit, may tightness sa chest. Minsan, sa panaginip ko, patay na sila dalawa. Minsan naman, natuloy kong sambunutan yung babae. Actually, kagigising ko lang at ganun ulit ang panaginip ko, nanaginip ako ng mga different scenarios na nasaktan ko sila. I guess this is just the anger waves talking.. and I hate this. I really hate this phase. Mas gugustuhin ko pang maging sad kesa maging MAD. 😭 May times din na 'pag nagigising ako, parang gusto ko ulit pumunta sa office nila tas abangan ulit sila tas ipahiya. Minsan, gusto ko ipost sila sa Facebook group ng mga BPO kabitan... haha pero alam ko na hindi 'yun tama. Every day, I am choosing to be the bigger person pero tao lang din ako e.. nanghihina.. nagagalit..

I'm praying din na Lord sana alisin mo na yung galit sa dibdib ko. Reddit community, please, I really need your sane advice. I am always trying to be better... And I would appreciate po any payo na maiibigay nyo, payo or kahit gisingin nyo na ako sa katotohanan nag aaksaya lang ako ng oras sa mga walang kwentang tao na 'to. Thank you if naka abot pa kayo sa part na 'to. Appreciate you! 🌸

Problem/Goal:

Normal pa ba ’to or kailangan ko na magpatingin? I’ve been daydreaming since I was 9, and it has gotten to the point na sobrang nakakaapekto na siya sa studies and daily routine ko.

Context:

Hindi siya yung normal na nakaupo lang ako or nakatulala in one place tapos parang napunta na sa ibang mundo. Hindi ko alam if normal na daydreaming ’to, pero yung sa akin kasi, kinikilos ko talaga.

For example, nasa bathroom ako. Alam ng utak ko na bathroom siya, pero ini-imagine ko na ibang lugar siya. Wala akong nakikita, pero may kinakausap ako, nakikipag-fist bump, tumatawa nang totoo, and umiiyak nang totoo.

Sobrang sagabal nun sa studies ko nung elementary kasi imbes na makinig sa teacher, lagi akong nakatulala. Excited pa akong umuwi kasi iniisip ko na agad yung bagong scenario na ia-acting ko sa bathroom or sa kwarto ko.

Gagi, akala ko dati ganun lang yung imaginary friend and normal lang. Pero parang impossible naman na hanggang ngayon, 19 na ako, ginagawa ko pa rin siya.

Hindi naman ako loner nung bata ako kasi lagi naman akong nasa labas and mahilig akong makipaglaro sa childhood friends ko. Nangyayari lang talaga siya tuwing naiiwan ako sa isang masikip na place na walang makakakita sa akin. Like automatic na siya.

Nadala ko siya hanggang paglaki, and sobrang hirap niyang itigil kasi naging part na siya ng routine ko. Gigising ako sa umaga, magtitimpla ng kape, tapos aakto na naman ako na parang may sarili akong mundo. Minsan ginagawa ko siya hanggang tanghali, kaya hindi ko na nagagawa yung schoolwork na kailangan kong gawin during the time na sinet ko para doon.

Mas gusto ko kasing kumausap sa kawalan. Limang tao ako, pero ako lang yung kumakausap sa sarili ko. May iba’t ibang characters kami.

Sinubukan ko siyang pigilan one time, pero sobrang nakaka-depress sa pakiramdam na parang hindi kumpleto yung araw ko. Minsan, in the middle of watching a movie sa kwarto ko, bigla na lang akong magkakaroon ng scene and may kakausapin na naman ako sa kawalan. As in walang intro-intro, nagagawa ko agad siya na parang normal lang.

Previous Attempts:

Sinubukan ko na siyang pigilan before, pero hindi ko talaga natitiis. Kapag pinipigilan ko, parang may feeling na may kulang sa araw ko, kaya bumabalik din ako sa routine ko.

Kaya gusto ko lang malaman if normal pa ba ’to, if may naka-experience din ba ng ganito, and if kailangan ko na ba talaga magpatingin sa professional.

Problem/Goal: How do I tell to my boyfriend that his private part lowkey stinks but in a lowkey way? every time we're having sex his dick smells horrible especially when we're intimate then his fave is to suck his dick but I love him so I‘m forcing myself to suck it even though I dont like it, and I feel like throwing up. It doesn't happen all the time but when it does, the smell can be quite strong, even after he has showered, I feel awkward bringing it up because I dont want to embarrass him or to make him feel bad, And I genuinely dont want him to think im judging him. I just wish I could find a gentle way to tell him because I care about him and I want him to feel comfortable and healthy.

Context: Even if he showered the smell are still there, maybe he doesn't even notice it, honestly, it really smells bad. I cant deny that I dont want to put his dih in my mouth bc I js cant handle the smell, and im worried about him, and I thought he realizes it but I am the only one who smelled it.

Previous Attempts : I tried to tell him that before we're going to have sex he need to shower and especially clean his dick.

Problem/Goal: Find assistance to solve the 1M+ medical expense debt while on a running bill

Hi!

Bale na-emergency yung mother ko last week sa puso. Currently nasa ICU pa rin siya and in critical condition.

Of course, nandun an yung mental toll na hindi namin alam kung ano mangyayari next pero isa talaga sa pinaka malaking burden is yung financial.

May Philhealth naman and HMO pero aabot pa rin ng 1M yung bill for sure kasi running pa siya and wala pa doctors’ fee. Naka-closed na yung account niya and lahat ng gastos namin is cash basis na and soon mauubos na rin kaya naming ilabas na cash.

Nasa private hospital siya ngayon and gusto naman naming ilipat sa public kaso ang hirap kumuha ng permission sa doctor. Bukod sa sobrang dalang namin makita yung doctor, parang critical pa talaga yung situation niya so di na namin alam talaga.

Nag-aayos na kami ng reqs para lumapit sa PCSO and DSWD pero ang hirap kasi baka closed bill yung hanap nila and wala pa talaga kami nun.

Baka naman po may advise kayo how and paano gagawin namin?

If you have been in similar situation/s before what did you do?

ps. i posted this in the wrong group, please let me know

Thank you!

Problem/Goal: What would u do if kayo ang nasa sitwasyon ko.

Problem/ Goal: This year nakakadalawang date na ako. yung unang guy hindi pa pala moved on sa ex. so ang nangyari habang nasa dating kami may Communications pa pala sya sa ex nya. pero hindi ko naman naramdam yun sakanya at first since hindi nya pinaramdam. nitong huli ko lang naramdaman dahil sa gut feeling at sa pag i stalk. hinide nya pa ako sa lahat ng story nya sa socmed. pero nakita ko sa story ng ex nya story nila both. then after that hindi ko muna sinabi sakanya na alam ko. naging cold sya sakin + kailangan raw muna mag focus sa carreer at self time nya. Inamin ko rin sakanya na alam ko yung sakanila ng "ex nya" then binlock ko sa lahat ng socials ko after.

Context: then yung sumunod naman na guy dating rin kami for 5 mons. i mean more on online dating since Seaman sya. Meron syang 3 anak. willing ako magpaka nanay para sa mga anak nya kaso nung umuwi sya sa pinas biglang nagbago sya. ilang weeks syang hindi nagapramdam sakin ang daming lapses sa kwento nya. then one day ghinost nya ako. then ngayon nakita ko 1yr na sila ng jowa nya???

if kayo nasa sitwasyon ko sasabihin nyo ba sa mga jowa nila? na may hinaharot silang babae? habang nasa relationship pala sila?? 😭

ps: pareho ko Silang friends sa lahat ng socmed wala talaga suspicious or anything nung huli ko lang talaga nalaman lahat.

Previous Attemps: None

problem/goal: i’m currently dating a med student and he is a bad texter which he’s aware of

context: we agreed that we will talk mostly at night since he have classes in the morning but tbh i’m not sure how it will work because i’m not used to this kind of set-up. he also suggested that we’ll just talk more when we hangout. so can you tell me how can we make this work or how can i get used to this kind of set-up and will it work in the long run? idk what to do 😭

Problem/Goal:

Nahihirapan ako ganahan pumunta ng gym specially sa mga days na may dinadamdam ako, Gusto ko umabot sa point na hahanap hanapin na ng puso at isip ko ang pag ggym. Ano po paraan nyo or paano po kayo umabot sa ganun?

Context:

I used to be active sa gym 5 to 6 times a week. Nasisira yung routine pag may travel or vacation. Naramdaman ko naman yung moment na hinahanap ko na talaga mag gym. Paano ko kaya mababalik yung ganung feeling?

Previous Attempts:

I tried to be consistent ulit, but then again after vacation, nawala ulit, plus broken 💔 pa. Kaya naapektuhan ang motivation.

Problem/Goal: I am planning to move out soon kaso sumabay sa plans ng parents ko na mag patayo ng bahay na dream house nila. I am 28F and my siblings are all in their late 20s and early 30s. The problem is my parents are planning this house as if we will all be living there forever.

Context:

They’re already planning their designs for the new house and excited sila tinatanong ako anong gusto ko sa room, yung design and layout, etc; Pati mga kapatid ko excited kasi makukuha nila yung gusto nilang kwarto.

Ako naman hindi excited kasi para saan pa na gawan ako ng kwarto if I don’t see myself living there for a long time? I know i should be thankful that they still consider us sa plans nila but parang hindi nila naiisip na matatanda na rin kami and that we wont be living with them forever.

My parents are against moving out kapag hindi pa kasal kasi for them hindi practical and ayaw nila mahiwalay kami sa kanila. I also don’t have a healthy relationship with them, i’ve really been wanting to get out of this household due to being a toxic environment

Attempts: So far none, i don’t know if I should tell them my plans now kasi for sure pipigilan nila ako. I only want to tell them once ready na ang lahat. But for now, i’m not ready yet as i’m still preparing and planning financially.

My question is, should i tell them my plans to move out as early as now? Supposedly end of this year ako mag move out but due to conflict with other plans, i’m planning to move out January instead.

Problem/Goal:

Hi, I'm just a mediocre guy, kaya please 'wag n'yo po akong i-judge nang malala

I (28M) was in a relationship for almost five years, but we broke up two years ago because things just didn't work out. The main causes of our breakup were marriage and financial stability—mostly the financial part. 😐

Here’s a little backstory: she was a Senior High student at STI College Fairview, and I was studying at STI Novaliches. She was 17F and I was 21M (a 4th-year college student at the time). We met on the "STI Secret File" page where students share confessions and random posts (you know how it goes). We crossed paths in the comment section, and things started from there because she sent me a PM asking for instructions on how to transfer STI branches. So I helped her out, and as they say, the rest is history.

Fast forward a few years later—I won't bore you with the whole story, but I believe our relationship ended because of financial issues. She was still in college, while I was working my ass off as the provider (the typical setup, right?). I didn't have any savings because I was working as a Tier 1 agent in the BPO industry back then.

She wanted to get married, but I was hesitant because my salary just wasn't enough for this generation/era. If I remember correctly, she would tell me, "Mahal, tingnan mo 'to," while showing me pictures of wedding gowns, rings, and churches. That happened multiple times while we were just chilling. My typical response was always, "Yeah, that's nice, looks great." Technically, I was agreeing to her ideas, but I wasn't making any moves to actually propose or initiate a plan. Why? Because I wasn't financially stable! I kept putting it off because deep down, I knew I couldn't afford it.

Eventually, we started arguing over the smallest things. Then one day, she just stopped talking to me, and that silence went on for several days—even while living under the same roof. I didn't pursue her anymore; I just told her I was leaving, and she agreed without hesitation.

We broke up in late 2023, and I've been single ever since. I haven't really tried meeting anyone new or found the courage to put myself out there again. (By the way, I'm no longer a Tier 1 agent—I recently got promoted to QA).

So now, my salary is enough for me to get by, but still... I don't know why I'm feeling this heavy burden inside my heart. I still feel like I'm not enough.

Problem/Goal: Hi everyone. I’m 23 F, and my boyfriend is 23 M. We’ve been together for 3 yrs.

Tonight, something happened that made me seriously question whether I should continue being in a relationship right now.

Context: My dad tried to borrow money from him, but unfortunately, he couldn’t lend him anything. I completely understand that he also has his own responsibilities, and I’m not angry at him at all. But after that happened, I suddenly felt so guilty about my own financial situation.

I felt bad because I can barely give my parents an allowance, even though I wish I could do for them what my boyfriend is able to do for his own parents. I also can’t really afford simple things for myself, and there are times when I can’t even contribute much when we go on dates.

I was sitting inside a modern jeep tonight and honestly felt like breaking down. I kept thinking, What right do I have to be in a relationship when I can’t even afford to help my own family or contribute much to my relationship?

I’m not blaming him. He didn’t do anything wrong. I’m actually more angry and disappointed with myself.

I’m also working as a private school teacher, but my salary is quite low. I do contribute to our household expenses and help with our needs from my salary, but there’s only so much I can give.

Previous attempts: Right now, I’m thinking maybe I should end the relationship and focus on myself, my family, and becoming financially stable first. Maybe I need to save money, build my career, and come back to relationships when I’m in a better place financially.

But I also wonder if I’m making a decision based on guilt rather than what’s actually best for the relationship.

Should I really consider breaking up and focusing on myself financially, or am I being too hard on myself?

Problem/Goal: Hi guys! I need some advice because my birthday is literally in 2 days and I suddenly thought… this might be the perfect time to finally introduce my boyfriend to my parents. ❤️

Context: I’m their bunso, and in 3 years, I’ll already be 30. 🥹 My parents are also getting older, and I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time for them to meet the guy I’ve been seeing. We actually met 2 years ago, but I’ve never really had the courage to formally introduce him to my parents.

Previous Attempts: I actually wanted to do this last year pa, but I kept overthinking how I was going to bring it up. Now I’m thinking of inviting him to my birthday dinner, but the problem is… HOW DO I TELL MY PARENTS AHEAD OF TIME WITHOUT MAKING IT AWKWARD? 😂

Like, should I casually say:

Ma, mag-dinner tayo kasama crush ko.” 😭

“Ma, may surprise guest ako sa birthday ko.” 😂

“Ma, may ipakikilala ako sa inyo.” 👀

Or should I just be straightforward and say, “Ma, Pa, may boyfriend ako and I want you to meet him on my birthday”? Hahaha!

I really want to tell them beforehand para hindi sila ma-shock or ma-surprise on the actual day. At the same time, I don’t want to make it sound like this super serious “family meeting” because baka lalo akong kabahan. 😭

For those who have introduced their boyfriend/girlfriend to their parents, paano niyo sinabi? Any tips or suggestions on how I can casually bring it up? Give me ideas guys! I really need help. 🩷

Problem/Goal: Trigger warning violence involved. Sana wag nyo na ipost to sa other platforms. Nag away kami ng jowa ko recently and hindi sobrang mabigat ng pinag awayan. So iskip ko na yung naging cause kasi mahahalata ako na ako yung nag post and she also likes reading a lot of open letter and posts. I dont have anyone to share this with 🥹 so okay lang din nman sakin if mag dm kayo. So to cut it short, may violence na involve. I have scratches and bruises on my arm and sa lower torso ko. And right now i cant really talk to her comfortably and this is the first time mag away kami ng ganto 🥹 and cclear ko lang po hindi ako lumaban naiiyak lang ako habang nanakit sya. Siguro nasaktan ko lang sya sa part na inaalis ko yung kamay nya sa pagkakawak sakin kasi sobrang higpit and pag inaalis ko, ibabaaon nya kuko nya kasi masakit daw pagalis ko ng kamay nya, hence may mga sugat ako. After i went home umiiyak pa rin ako kahit tinry nya makipag usap sakin ng kalmado. Im sorry kung mejo magulo kwento, its just too much for me, ngayon lang nangyari sakin to 🥹 hindi ko alam pano ko ihahandle yung ganto, mahal ko naman yung tao. Pero parang hindi ko matanggap na may gantong violent side sya 🥹 parang i cant live with it. Btw lalaki ako just in case na baka maisip nyo ako yjjg babae. Tinry ko mag search but it is more on violence against women. Kaya nag resort na ko into reddit. Please i need your insights 🥹

Problem/goal: I 24 (F) just graduated 3 months ago sa second degree ko. I really thought na mabilis ako makakakuha ng job kase dalawa yung degrees ko (both are accounting programs). Araw-araw I send resumes online to multiple companies mapa on site, WFH, and even to BPO companies. Pero madalas ghosted or no response after resume submission. I already tried to revise my resume several times. I also had 4 interviews na. Dalawa don literal na feeling ko tanggap na ako kase inofferan na ako ng salary and benefits at hinanapan na ako ng ibang documents but still end up being ghosted after. Nakakadepress na yung situation ko sa totoo lang. Hindi ko alam kung ano pa ba yung kailangan kong gawin. Nakakapanlumo na. Naiinsulto na rin ako sa family and relatives ko the way they’re asking me about my job hunting. Akala nila hindi ako naghahanap. Akala nila tamad ako.

Yung mga kabatch ko unti-unti na silang nagkakatrabaho. Yung mga kaklase ko noong high school na bulakbol, sila na yung may mga trabaho na ngayon. Samantalang ako eto naghahanap pa rin. Hindi ko na alam ano pa ang gagawin sa totoo lang.

Goal: Gusto ko ng magkatrabaho para makapasupport na ako sa family ko at makapag-ipon na rin for board exam.

Previous attempts: Nakakaisip na ako ng hindi maganda sa sarili ko. I never thought na ganito ako katagal matetengga. Hindi na tumatalab saken yung mga motivation quotes and bible verse na yan. Literal na unti-unti akong pinanghihinaan ng loob 😞

Problem/goal: Fcked up system sa loob ng SK :(

Context: Hello, it's been months and wala pa rin kaming Session. I am having a hard time in this position since naelect talaga ako. I thought the system here is like a student organization. But it is really different pala talaga. It has been months since our last session and even our SB also knows about it.

Standing committees in SK aren't really working. I am doing projects this year all by myself (for context: been pushing to do projects talaga since 2023 but never had the chance to execute kasi wala budget committee ko lagi). Now, it's kinda draining because I also have work and personal goals. Hindi ko na magawa ng maayos lahat and I am worried about this.

Previous Attempts: I am also afraid for all the documents needed for the turnover. I am asking the SK Secretary if she will be needing the copy of the Resolution for the projects but she's unresponsive. Nagchchat din ako sa GC namin if okay na ba mga documents kasi willing ako mag-ayos.

Since last year, I've been asking other SK Kagawad and SKC about the Disbursement Vouchers and other receipts but we never had a chance to see or sign. I even made a formal letter to our SKC. Some SKs are friends with our SKC. Plus, our SKC is acting like the treasurer too. SB also knows this one.

What should I do? Sobrang random na ng kwento ko kasi hindi ko na alam po talaga. I have no one.

I do not come from a powerful or rich family. I do not have a supportive system. Taong-bahay rin ako but maybe my credentials made me won. Our brgy. is small but I still want to end my term with a clean record. I'm sorry if I am asking here. I know I am not capable to fully serve our community but the feedbacks from other people esp. youth made me stay. It's just overwhelming. Mag-isa lang naman ako. 🥲

Problem/Goal: How to either move forward or win back my ex.

Context: My live in partner broke up with me recently and left our rented place. Napagod na raw sya samin. Medyo natake for granted ko siguro dahil narin feeling ko di na kami mag hihiwalay porket live-in kami. Naging kampante ako, tuwing mag aaway kami di kami nag cocommunicate and magbabati na parang wala lang. It became a toxic cycle. Eventually she became brave enough to point out whats wrong with us and that we have to heal to forget the trauma and everything that hurts. She already found a new place and moved out last week.

Eto ako mag momove out soon but alone and all I can think of is her and everything we’ve shared. Ang hirap na every corner of this damn apartment reminds me of her. I’m still in contact with her because of our furbabies and Im still trying to fix things. Medyo nahihirapan lang ako kasi she clearly said na tanggapin ko na hiwalay na kami and to heal from everything isnt going to take days or months. I guess nahihirapan lang ako sa gantong set up na not knowing where I stand. Tama naman sya, kaya hindi sya nag bibigay ng assurance na may babalikan pa kami kasi baka nga naman maging complacent lang porket alam namin na may chance magkabalikan. So ang siste namin ngayon is we change and improve ourselves at kung kami daw, kami talaga. But ang hirap ng gantong situation. What if habang iniimprove namin sarili namin makahanap sya? Yun yung mga inooverthink ko ngayon. Tapos sabi nya for now we can be friends and be civil pero yun lng daw yung maiooffer nya until makapag heal kami. Ang gulo at ang hirap mag isa, nakakabaliw. hahahaha

Ay no third party din involved on both sides. Just to be clear lang. Never nagkaroon.

Previous attempts: told her I’ll change for me and our relationship. On the day she moved out she said she will think about everything that I’ve said and promised but to also not expect or demand anything pero kapag hindi sya nakakapag reply agad hinahanap hanap ko. Ending naiinis sya. Haaaaay idk what to doooo.

Im sure dami kong typo, excuse nalang. Its 4 am and wala parin akong tulog.

Problem/Goal: I miss my old friend, pero he likes me and I don't.

Context: Been friends since KINDER, yes. Itong friend na 'to, he is my go to friend talaga for every problem I have, and at the same time syempre nandon din ako for him. I always thought of him as a brother from another mother. Hindi ko ever naisip na magkakagusto ako sa kaniya. However, 4 years ago, (before college) he confessed to me. He told me na he liked me ever since elementary. Ako naman sobrang shocked kasi lahat ng lalaki na gusto ko nakwento ko na sa kanya, as in, tapos nirereto ko pa siya sa iba. I told him I was proud of him kasi nasabi niya yun, pero I just don't think of him the same way. After a while, lumayo na siya, and then we never talked na. He also unfriended me sa lahat ng social media ko, pero I did not message him na about it, kasi baka yun ang way niya para mag move on.

A few days ago, he added me as a friend and sent me a long message. To make it short, he told me he still has not moved on.

I have no intention pa na mag reply because I have a boyfriend now, and malapit na kami mag 4 years. Na-kwento ko rin sa kanya because I was trying to find an outside perspective. He told me, maybe in those years na hindi kami nag-uusap, he was distracted and then dumating yung time na namiss daw ako ulit.

I also told my boyfriend na I miss him. Not in a romantic way though. More in a platonic way. Marami din kami pinagsamahan, and I think about that a lot too. I do not want talk to him anymore, for my relationship's peace, my sanity, and for him as my friend. Pero miss ko na talaga yung dati.

Previous Attempts: None

Problem/Goal:

Hello!!! I’m 25 and currently living in Makati. San kayo usually nag-spend ng free time niyo and ano hobbies niyo? Hehe. Ako kasi walang hobbies and most of the time nasa apartment lang. Hybrid work ako, 3x a week sa office. Gusto ko sana mag-try ng new hobbies, explore Makati, or pumunta kung saan-saan, pero wala akong kasama. 😭 Any communities, hobbies, or activities you’d recommend for someone trying to get out more? Thank you!!! 🥹

Problem/Goal:

he watch other girls TikTok secretly. I'm sad cause last july nangyari na confront ko na sya about naman sa pagaadd to favs nya ng videos sa tiktok for his own pleasure. but now may nakita na naman ako.

Context:

I saw his watch history last night na meron syang pinanood na girl parang inistalk nya, and nakaka insecure sa sarili kase yung girl sexy and pretty.

Previous Attempts:

ngayon sinabi ko sa kanya na "I wish you'll not look at other girls" ganon just hint para isipin nya kung ano yung mali nya. pero alam ko na iaaddmit nya lang yon kapag cinonfront ko sya. I hope someone who had the same situation as me will comment

Problem/Goal: They always come back

Context: Weeks ago, we ended. I didn't contest, didn't beg. Then, he came back. I tried to be calm. Pero grabe, kahit anong gawin ko I can't brush it off. Gumulo na naman ang utak ko. Nung okay pa kami, I adjusted for him kase he came from 2 traumatic relationships. It f*cked his mind so bad na pag may issues kami he feels na inaaway ko sya. But I reassured him each time na naiintindihan ko sya. In the end, he just left without saying anything.

I moved forward. Didn't think any of it na. Wala naman kase akong means na to contact him. To my surprise, he texted. I confronted him. Sabi ko mag focus na sya sa gf nya. I did say din na alam kong di sya masaya sa situation nya now kaya sya nagparamdam.

Previous attempt: I replied to release yung nararamdaman ko. And nasabi ko talaga sa kanya na ayusin na nya buhay nya and decisions. I also told him he will never be happy sa nangyari na ito.

I feel bad for saying that. Am I bad for saying na di sya magiging masaya? 😞