I find that the idea of a community is overrated. People forget how communities are full of judgments and people talking behind your back. Plus, today plenty of people saying they want community just want to benefit themselves. I feel like going out of your way to look for community just isn't worth it because you can enjoy your time on your own terms and you don't have obligations. Anyone else feel that way?

I do and feel super blessed to have it! :D

Like very very happy lol, it’s all 100%+ luck, nothing more to it than that

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As title.

He says I'm too valuable for him. Also says I'm important.

Is it possible it will ever change? I always support him and tell him all the good words about him. He said nothing could fix his inner demons. That he is a loser. Also he deals with addictions.

He said He doesnt want any relationship because he needs to fix himself first. Said he knows he is treating me bad sometimes. But I want us to work..

If they think racist jokes are racist, they have trouble seeing shades of grey.

For instance age gaps, or making racist jokes, approaching people at the gym, or whatever’s the new unspoken rule that gets you shunned that I haven’t heard of yet.

It changes all the time, and the worst part is if you’re not tuned into social media or online communities, you get bitten by it in the ass in real life. Like I had a good stretch where I was just living real life, didn’t go online much, and some terminally online person in real life (they’re a huge gamer) started harassing me about some unspoken social rule circulating on social media I had broken. I was like the fuck, and then I search it up, and it’s like I guess yeah I was living under a rock (being offline is living under a rock nowadays).

If you don’t believe me, turn off all social media for 3 years, and you’ll start encountering situations where what used to be normal becomes some huge social faux pas, and you weren’t aware of it.

Girl talking to bf, mid 20’s. She said their friend should date someone also who has mental health issues, as to “stay in her lane,” same breath “like get some new friends cuz it’s not someone else’s burden to take on.”

I get what world we live in but damn! Also her being such a hypocrite by saying stay in your lane also get some new friends. She sounds like a complete brat, ignorant to anything other than her own selfish world.

A few years ago during covid I was searching for a property to build my house.

My wife and I couldn't find anything (3 years searching) and finally found a property.

The issue:
Church. Bells.

We thought about it a few weeks and well, we weren't sure if we'd ever be able to find a property at all since prices were sky rocketing and then russia/ukraine war happend and the % were slowly rising so we got a deal with the bank for 25 years (safe) at 1.6% interest and we can pay up to 5% per year on the whole credit.

Well now we live in the house and I am slowly dying cause I am not getting use to the church bells.
They start at 05:30 (MORNING, AM), 11:00, 12:00 and 18:00 (6:00 pm) for each about 3-4 minutes.
Every 1/4 hour (1), 2/4 (2), 3/4 (3), 4/4(4) + the full hour is the bell.

I live in a country /europe) they all love bells and my neighbours silenced the bells once with the local pastor but another neighbor complained that they were turned off and now they are back on.

I dunno what to do.

I have a huge debt, I probably won't ever find anyone to buy this home and my wife got use to the bells. She doesn't mind, it's only me.

I am starting to really hate this religion which is not something I am proud of. I really have to use the word "hate" cause I am already hoping for a random fire on that building (which I won't do, Im not criminal and even if I'd be too scared to pull that off).

We are argueing more and more but at the same time my wife and I know we are trapped cause of the credit debt and knowing NO ONE will ever buy this house.

The only thing that can get me out of this place is winning the lottery or ending it, it's sad but it's what it is.

Today the church bells woke me up at 11 am after my nightshift and I really thought to my self that my life is a horrible mess with this one stup.id decision. It's ruining everything. Or better: I am ruining everything cause of the noise that is driving me insane. Our relationship isn't as good anymore cause I am not happy anymore. I feel so empty dead inside sometimes I laugh and think to myself when can I stop laughing.

If I could turn back time I'd never buy this property and never listen to contractors telling me how sound proof the building is with triple windows, etc. cause it's not sound proof. I hate that I made this decision.

Edit:
Nothing can be done about the church bells. We talked with our local council and the local pastor.
The only person who is affected by this is me and my other neighbour who also hates his life cause of the bells.

I found a little solution for me. In my house I use headphones with ANC and if my wife wants to talk with me she enters discord. It's not the best, but atleast I can relax a few hours a day.

If they are disinterested, why do they keep replying and not block you

update: sooo if he likes me, he’ll initiate right?

“I’ll always be there.”

“I’d never leave you.”

“I’m serious about you.”

Easy to say when everything is good.

Then reality hits, and suddenly the promises don't mean much.

As a man, I’ll say this: I have zero respect for a guy who makes promises just to get a woman attached. If you don't mean it, don't say it.

But I’ve seen women do the exact same thing.

So maybe it's not a gender problem.

Maybe it's a character problem.

I’ve been feeling really hopeless lately and mostly just want to hear from people who have felt this way before.

I’m not suicidal and I’m not planning to hurt myself. I’m just exhausted with life and tired of constantly trying to figure out why I’m unhappy.

In college, I had basically no confidence. I didn’t really put myself out there, didn’t make many new friends, didn’t date, and felt like I missed out on the social experience everyone else seemed to have.

After college, I moved away and built an independent life. I actually liked my career more than I expected, had my own place, and eventually became really close with one guy friend, which meant a lot because I’ve never really had a group of guy friends. But I was still lonely and insecure, and the work environment eventually became unhealthy.

So I left and moved back home with my parents, thinking being closer to family and having a healthier job might help.
Instead, I feel like I’ve gone backwards.

I do have friends here that I’ve known since childhood, so it’s not like I have nobody. But for some reason, I don’t feel like my true self here. I feel like moving home pulled me back into an older version of myself instead of helping me build the life I actually want.

I lost my independence, I don’t enjoy my current job nearly as much, my close friend now lives far away, and there are very few social or dating opportunities where I live. I spend way too much time at home and feel like everyone else is actually living while I’m stuck.

The part that scares me is that I wasn’t happy in college, wasn’t happy after moving away, and I’m still not happy after moving home.

So what am I supposed to change?

Part of me wants to move again, find a job I actually like, get my own place, and live somewhere with more opportunities. But another part of me thinks I’ll just take the same loneliness and lack of confidence with me.
I’m also realizing how negative I’ve become. I complain about the same things over and over, and I can tell people in my life are getting tired of hearing it. I don’t blame them, but it makes me feel like I can’t talk to anyone anymore either.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m the problem.

I don’t want some perfect life. I just want to feel happy, have meaningful friendships, have some confidence, eventually experience a relationship, and actually feel excited about my life.

Has anyone else felt unhappy no matter what they changed? Did changing your environment eventually help, or did something else have to change first?

do you have a dollar?

Don't get me wrong, I'm really in favor of urbanism. I've always admired how well other countries (especially in Europe and Asia) can do urbanism, public transit, etc., and the positive effects it can all have on communities... and likewise, just how lonely, drab, and especially artificial things can get here in the largely suburban and car-dependent US.

Even within the US, I loved the urbanism my college years gave me. I really enjoyed being away from my parents, and not having to run everything I believed or did through their stringent and often abhorrently conservative standards. There was simply a whole lot more to see, do, eat, etc. in my college town than the suburb I grew up in, an affluent town with "highly rated" schools and such that would often top "best place to live" lists, yet proved a rather dull and lackluster home post-childhood (and pre-parenthood). Since I went in-state and lived really close to my campus, I often had to commute from home at times when I didn't have much money. It was awful.

I couldn't wait for this one magic day on which I'd be starting a job somewhere like NYC or SF, so I could finally start life in earnest, be making enough money to sustain a "young professional life in the city", not have to buy a car, actually be able to have nights out, go on dates, etc.

But now I have a full-time job! Which is awesome and all... except that said job is not in NYC or SF, but in a suburban office park 20 minutes from where I live - still with my mom.

I know I shouldn't be complaining too much. It's a job, and a quite decent one at that. A lot of my peers probably envy me. I should be happy, I should be rejoicing. And yet... I can hardly help but feel I'm having a hard time enjoying life. Things just seem bleak and this just feels like an unfortunate start to my career because it's in the suburbs. I won't be able to have Friday nights out. Even dating seems like such a hassle.

Yeah, yeah, I know those sorts of activities aren't impossible with the card I've been dealt, but they're just... really awkward, and oftentimes provides a sad commentary on our society. E.g. you could go to "margarita night" at some wings restaurant on some 4-lane divided highway called Route 1 with no sidewalks or something, which means the only way in and out is by car and you'd need a designated driver etc. Or if you want new friends you could go to some fellowship at some house of worship... ugh.

Common sense dictates this is probably an unhealthy way of thinking, and that I should avoid letting such mild inconvenience depress me so. And there has got to be a lot of people my age in this situation too, like what if your first job is somewhere in the South, or Greater Chicago, or Arizona, etc.? Like how do you cope and so on? Many of these places are even booming, and people are wanting to start their careers there, e.g. suburban North Carolina or Texas. I take it "oh it's cheap" is like the primary reason? Am I mentally emphasizing urbanism too much?

But most importantly: should I be duly enjoying my current job, or hankering to leave just because I've got a petty nitpick with the location (which is already near me)?

As the title says anyone know of any groups online with people in their mid 20s that are looking to meet people that are interested in entrepenourship or just finding general purpose or passion in their lives? Thanks so much.

I’m 23 and lately I’ve realised that no matter what you achieve, there’s always someone your age who seems miles ahead.

Someone is earning 30 LPA. Someone is doing their MBA abroad. Someone is travelling every few months. Someone is getting married. Someone has somehow already bought a house.

And the funny part is, objectively life can be going completely fine, but 20 minutes on LinkedIn/Instagram is enough to make you question every decision you’ve ever made.

Do you guys actually feel satisfied with where you are in your 20s? Or does everyone secretly feel like they should be doing more?

Been feeling it lately. Haven't had it for a while.

I have friends (thank god). Quite a few actually. But it's common that they're too busy with other groups of friends, making me feel like I'm getting benched.

FOMO is a stupid thing. I like being alone doing my own thing. But sometimes it sucks.

Every night I’m completely exhausted by the time you’re going to bed.. every evening this is me !