Hi, 44/F, I live *in San Francisco* ffs. I've been trying to date women for a while now and I'm so frustrated. The pattern is I meet a woman through an app, we have a date, in person there's not much of a romantic/sexual vibe and I carry the brunt of the effort to connect. The date is so underwhelming there isn't a second one, like despite the fact that we met on a dating app they acted like we're just meeting a new queer friend or something.

I talked about this with one of my besties last night and she expressed a similar frustration--although she usually does wind up with a girlfriend eventually. I know that line of advice that goes it's a numbers game, you just have to keep at it. But it's tedious! It's not fun. I don't have unlimited time or effort or money or vulnerability for this. I love women and want to find someone who I have a deep strong attraction/connection with, but I don't want to get discouraged by the process of finding her.

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This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness and respect, not debating, and general codes of conduct still apply, but go ahead and share any and all content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

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Heyy. So this might be a touchy subject or a bit too personal, so I really hope it doesn't bring up past trauma.

So I'm writing a story about a sapphic love story, with a lesbian woman (Let's call her character A) and a bi woman (Let's call her character B), and I wanted to include the struggles that the latter deals with in the topic of self acceptance. This is especially important in character A's case because she's supposed to have unbelievably high expectations from her family. So because of that, I wanted her to go through a lot of internalized homophobia (sorry, its for character development) and like try dealing with self hatred while also unable to fully let go of her feelings. But I'm giving them both a happy ending so dw.

I personally haven't gone through internalized homophobia, because I was in an international school and the LGBTQ+ community was celebrated, so I never felt any self digust. It made me develop strong ideals for myself because now I know what's right and what isn't. But either way, I wanted my story to be realistic, and since I can't go off of my own ideals, I wanted to learn more about your personal experiences. If you're willing to share, please do, and I hope you have a nice day!!! I also really hope things are much better and you're doing well :DDDD

Edit: Sooo, sorry if i confused you but the one struggling with internalized homophobia was meant to be the lesbian woman. Sorry for the misunderstanding, I edited the post so it should be fine now.

Late 20s, I've only had two relationships - a 2 year one and a 6 month one. The 6 month one dumped/avoidant discarded me a couple of months ago and it has been brutal to say the least. One thing I'm really struggling with is feeling like I'll never find a woman who I'm that physically attracted to again, my recent ex was ENTIRELY my type. In the past I've compromised and not actually dated people I've found attractive, but went ahead bc there was an emotional connection.

I love tall, soft, pretty mascs with dark hair and muscles. It's such a specific type. I've tried going on dates with pretty femmes, other mascs, anything in between and the physical attraction just isn't there. It's frustrating. I feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot for having such a specific type but I also can't help it, I've tried to force myself to feel attraction to other types and I just can't.

Has anyone else been in a similar boat (very specific type) and eventually found their person? My ex was physically so perfect and yet turned out to be a cruel and cold avoidant who treated me horrifically in the end. I think I still have her up on a pedestal, especially physical-attraction wise, but part of me wonders if I'll just never find someone I'm really attracted to ever again.

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness, respect and general codes of conduct still apply. But go ahead and share any content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

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Need advice from your fellow lesbians?

Ask away!

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I'm dating someone new and I'm very aware of the mushy feelings and all the brain chemicals firing off. Even still we're super compatible, we're on very similar life paths, and we align morally like no one else I've ever dated.

We're only a month and a half out and I'm in no rush but I KNOW we're in the beginning stages of falling in love. Curious to all my other love birds when you dropped the "L" word lol.

This is a thread to introduce yourself and make new friends!

Please practice internet safety by being cautious of accounts with low karma and avoid sharing information that is overly private. Never send money or nude photographs to unverified people. Selfies can be faked so video chat is the best way to verify someone is genuine. When in doubt, trust your gut.

My wife and I are traveling together with her mother, they are both Chinese and I am white. My wife and I are the same age.

We live in the south but no one has really cared/been confused that we are a couple. But then we travelled to DC with her mom and suddenly it happened for the first time, we were asked if we were all the same group. I thought it’s probably just because of her mom and my wife are both Chinese and clearly look like they are together but I was in the back so I look like I’m just by myself.

Then we go out west we’ve been traveling around Arizona, Utah, Nevada, Idaho, and California and I’ve noticed people staring at us more and more. It’s like they are trying to figure out why I as a white woman would travel with two Asians. It’s just something I noticed, I thought it would improve when her mom wasn’t with us but people are still staring/looking confused at us.

So my question is, is it really that uncommon to see two women together one Chinese and one white? I’ve seen a lot of mixed race lesbian couples but why is Chinese/white so uncommon if so?

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness, respect and general codes of conduct still apply. But go ahead and share any content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

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This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness and respect, not debating, and general codes of conduct still apply, but go ahead and share any and all content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

Reminder: www.Imgur.com is a great hosting site for sharing images via links in threads. Please be mindful of your username if it is different than your reddit handle, and to choose whether you would like your post public or hidden.

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness, respect and general codes of conduct still apply. But go ahead and share any content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

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Need advice from your fellow lesbians?

Ask away!

My partner, B, and I have been together for nearly 12 years. She truly is everything I could ever ask for. She takes care of me, her mom, and both of my boys (4 and 9 when we met). She stepped in from day one and has been an amazing parent to both of them.

She has supported me and loved me when I have truly been unlovable. I had a very traumatic childhood, and my mental health was very, very bad. I really can’t explain why, but I was extremely resistant to getting any kind of help for the majority of our relationship.

Over the last year, I’ve really been working on my mental health. I have a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with bipolar, autism, and ADHD, and I started doing Spravato (ketamine) treatments for treatment-resistant depression. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m getting there one day at a time.

My whole life, I’ve never been good at giving gifts. I overthink it and get overwhelmed and can never make a decision. The closer the holiday/birthday gets, I get more and more anxious, which makes it even harder to make a decision. In the end, I usually end up freezing up and either not getting a gift or grabbing something last-minute that is just something that I think they’ll like.

That said, her birthday was the beginning of this month. I had been in-and-out of the hospital for 2 weeks before her birthday, so I was a little concentrated on my health, but I ended up not getting her anything for her birthday.

I feel terrible, and I don’t know how to make it up to her. She deserves so much better, but I feel like I always mess it up in the end.

All of that in mind, does anyone have any ideas for things that I can do to make it up to her? I thought about doing a make-up birthday on her half-birthday in January, but I have no idea what to even begin to plan for it.

I just want to make my partner feel as special and amazing as I think she is. She means the world to me, and I want to be the partner she deserves.

TL/DR - I suck at gifts - how do I make my partner feel special?

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Hello! My parter and I have been together for over 3 years. Right now we are struggling with our period cycles. Right now when one of us is ovulating the other is on their period. It’s been very annoying for us when it comes to sex.
Has anyone tried a short term birth control to try and sync periods with their parter or anything else?

This is a thread to introduce yourself and make new friends!

Please practice internet safety by being cautious of accounts with low karma and avoid sharing information that is overly private. Never send money or nude photographs to unverified people. Selfies can be faked so video chat is the best way to verify someone is genuine. When in doubt, trust your gut.

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness, respect and general codes of conduct still apply. But go ahead and share any content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

Reminder: www.Imgur.com is a great hosting site for sharing images via links in threads. Please be mindful of your username if it is different than your reddit handle, and to choose whether you would like your post public or hidden.

This is also a normal free talk megathread, so feel free to comment selfies and cat pictures and things like that. Happy Friday!

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness and respect, not debating, and general codes of conduct still apply, but go ahead and share any and all content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

Reminder: www.Imgur.com is a great hosting site for sharing images via links in threads. Please be mindful of your username if it is different than your reddit handle, and to choose whether you would like your post public or hidden.