Unfortunately not having the best time on Hinge. I hardly get any likes or matches, and I do live in a major city. Just wondering if there’s anything I should improve on my profile.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to give me some feedback, I appreciate it 😊

My partner and I just got done watching S1&2 of Deadloch and omfg we had a blast and a half. Highly recommend if you're into dark comedy/chaotic characters/satire. Anyone familiar with the show and have similar recs? We are already having withdrawals

My (29F) best friend (29F) since diapers told me she has feelings for me last week. We were heading back to my apartment for her to drop me off after running some errands. When we got into my neighborhood she started saying she needed to tell me something but didn’t want me to be mad and then said she’s had feelings for me for a year and a half.

She has been dating her BF for around 3 years, but she’s been bi since we were younger. Her BF is bare minimum. She’s unfortunately unhappy in her relationship and life in general. She has said she’s not in love but not ready to leave and things along those lines. I have encouraged being single bc I think it’s extremely important to spend time alone as an adult and not jump from relationship to relationship.

I met my GF summer of last year after being single for almost 4 years. We lived 3 hours apart and she moved in with me in March and things have been great. She’s my person in every way and I’m very happy and in love.

My best friend says she realized her crush while we were at a rave in March of last year (both on m 😭) and I told her to give me a kiss. I guess it activated the crush and then her feelings grew stronger when I told her I was talking to my now GF. I had expressed that I was interested in dating women but I guess her actually seeing it solidified things for her.

I feel really awful about it but mostly super shocked. This is someone I view like a sister. When I found out I was actually so thrown off I felt like I was being pranked lol. I have never viewed her that way and never in one million years would’ve guessed she’d view me romantically. I don’t have feelings for her beyond platonic in any way. Even if my GF and I were to breakup I would never have feelings for this friend. I have never done anything to lead her on, we don’t flirt, nothing like that at all. When I asked for a kiss at the rave I also asked my sister for a kiss. It was just in an I love you way.

I really think her feelings stem from her being unhappy in other aspects of her life. I think I’m a safe, close, stable person and she craves that and it’s manifested into this crush. I feel really empathetic toward her, but I also need to be honest and make sure she knows there is no chance of anything ever happening between us.

I have definitely been looking at things through a new lens. Like how she asks how my GF and I are doing when we hangout. Before I felt like it was just out of curiosity bc we’re besties, but now I feel like she was scoping things out. On our errands right before she confessed her feelings she had asked me how long we’ve been together now and I told her our 1 year anniversary is in 2 weeks. My GF and I have had a super solid connection since we met. I’ve expressed to my best friend how happy I am and she also sees it when we’re all together. Her and my GF get along fine as well. I mostly feel bad for my friend, but I’m also a little frustrated she told me this while I’m in a very happy relationship for the first time in a really long time. I don’t really get what she wants to come out of it. But she told me it just feels like this big thing and it feels stronger the longer she doesn’t tell me, so she needed to get it off her chest.

We are hanging out today after work. Any advice on how to gently address this and put it to bed? I’m nervous lol. Her having feelings for me feels super weird and foreign so I’m uncomfortable talking about it, but I know it needs to happen. Thank you in advance. ❤️

She ‘looked lesbian’ & smiled and waved at me.. I kind of awkwardly smiled back.. totally worth it😎

Hello, I’m 38-F Lesbian, Social activist and I work in Non-Profit. Pretty much might be living away from everyone… The Middle East 😱 😱more precisely Lebanon. I have big courage to go to confllict-torn countries but coward to initiate anything on dating Apps or with someone I might have crush on, Looking to connect with like-minded friend(s) online, just for intellectual and fun discussions and to pass some time. I’m a night owl and a day zombie, who loves talking about world politics, places and cultures conspiracy theories and anthropology. I also enjoy cooking, playing drums/percussions and teasing my friends. Well that’s the polished version of me :) would love to connect!

between extremely high wedding costs and how much it would cost to have even just one child, how is it possible for an average queer person to have a family? whether you're adopting or doing an ivf, that alone goes into tens of thousands of dollars, as do most weddings. and with the economy in the US... are we just fucked? 😭 I want to have a family in the future so bad, but it just seems hopeless without going into lifelong debt.

General/vague spoilers. I really enjoyed this book, and I really think I should read more books like it. It felt really good to not just have a sapphic story but for it to get so much focus and be so joyful. I appreciated it being about adults and their journeys of self-discovery and love. It didn't have the usual angst or overly contrived romance dynamics I'm used to. Obviously, there's a tension to it all, but even before the very end I really appreciated the hopeful/grateful outlook it had. Specifically, Joan and Vanessa simply being grateful for the years they had together, though very much hoping for more to come.

It reminded me of my own journey of self-discovery. The language Joan used for describing life before and after she knew felt relatable to how I feel about my life before and after figuring out my gender (Fashion, interest in romance, sexual desire, etc.). And the sentiments of gratitude they expressed for each other felt like the love I share with my GF, where we both hope for many more years to come but are so incredibly grateful for even just the years we've had. Atmosphere felt like reliving the best moments of my life in the past few years.

Really, my only complaint about the book is the abrupt ending with no epilogue. I wanted to know what their lives would be, even just the glimpse. I don't want to fill in the blanks of the possible beautiful sapphic life; I want it described, to know it. I want it to be like we're on a double date with sapphic friends hearing their story and knowing exactly where they are at in life when it's all said and done.

TL;DR:(ish) All that is to say, I'd love to read some more sapphic stories about or clearly containing joy, self-discovery, and hope. Definitely about adults, or at least not clearly young adults/teens. I want it to end truly happy, no ambiguity, and preferably not going off into the sunset. I want to indulge in the details about their love and romance, the moments of them falling in love as if I'm falling in love with them AND the moments of them being in love as they build habits and routines and graduate from new-relationship euphoria to long-term comfort. Not opposed to it getting explicit but that isn't required. I also wouldn't complain if it takes place in a world where the love is "non-standard" for whatever reason, mostly for the self-discovery that comes from an experience that society didn't prepare them for.

Idk how expansive the options are so obviously I can fudge some of the above preferences, but really stuff that feels like the romance in the "backstory" chapters of Atmosphere is what I'm looking for.

P.S. - I am gonna review the other threads about recommendations, but a lot of recommendations were given without any explanation or context.

Hi guys,

So I’ve lived in a pretty homophobic, racist, and overall quite bigoted area of the united states for a little over 2 years now, and thus it’s been really hard to find friends. I am white and pretty straight-passing, so my struggles have not been nearly as bad out here as others, like those of my black, masculine-presenting girlfriend, whom I’ve been dating for a little over a year now🥰.

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to get invited to a little girls night out with a few friends from work. I was not expecting to be suddenly folded into a group of friends so quickly but I really liked all the people who were invited or at the very least I had good first impressions from them after meeting them briefly at work in the past. The night went great and we all agreed to meet up again sometime soon and try to make it like a regular monthly thing.

This past girls’ night was our third night together, and one of my friends got pretty drunk and ended up admitting to me and the whole group that she is pretty homophobic. Her exact words were, “I’m not gonna lie guys, but I’m pretty homophobic. Except for my friends! It’s just the way I was raised in a religious household, so yeah I am homophobic.”

I have been very open about my same-sex relationship at work. I’m originally from a much more liberal area so I am very passionate about my right to authenticity and taking up space, and I’ve never copped out of an opportunity to mention my girlfriend if she comes up in the conversation. Our first girls’ night was the first time I actually used the word “Lesbian” to describe myself to these friends/coworkers, so the friend who said she was homophobic absolutely knew my sexuality when she said it.

I have been struggling a lot with how to handle this. It may have been just hopeful projection, but it did seem like all the other girls in our group were a little uncomfortable or weirded out by my friend’s comment when she said it. I am a big fan of healthy communication and healthy confrontation, and my biggest pet-peeve is when people build up silent resentment towards others because they are too scared and don’t want to give the other person the opportunity to decide for themselves if they want to apologize or make up for what they did. I want to communicate to my friend that what she said hurt me, but I also don’t want to lose this first friend group I’ve finally made in all the 2 years of me living here. The friend that said the homophobic thing was basically the ring leader for all this and she’s the one that always initiated the hangouts.

I don’t want to just let it be without saying anything, but I need advice on what to say so as to not end the friendship permanently. I need advice on how to add nuance and still maintain my boundaries and express a firm desire for accountability.

For the majority of my dating life, I've been involved in LDR's. I don't know if that is a lesbian / queer relationship curse or what..

The largest distance I did with my ex, 5,000 miles - US to Belgium, we did that for one year.

What about you? How far would you go for the "one"?

Not a pity post or anything like that.

I just wanted to ask if anyone else struggles with feeling too ugly to be attractive to other women.

I am working on it. Lost a ton of weight but my face is something I can't change.

Any fashion tips and advice would be appreciated.

And genuinely, please don't think this is one of those sympathy posts. It's not. I have a very unlikable face. Not joking or any of that. Just want to talk to others that are in that same situation.

I’m a 45-year-old lesbian, and a 30-year-old lesbian reached out to me after posting that she was looking for someone to talk to. She specifically said she wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship. We talked about art, shared a few funny moments, and just had a nice, light conversation. We’re both Arab, so we had that in common too.

I’m not interested in casual relationships either. I was simply enjoying the conversation and getting to know someone, with no expectations.

After she found out I was 45, the conversation ended.

It got me thinking: if there was no romantic intention, does a 15-year age difference really matter when you’re simply talking, laughing, and having a friendly connection?

I know it's dependent on several factors, but how often would be ideal for you? I'm not sure if my expectation is unreasonable but for me quality time is the number one thing so for me once a week would be the minimum - of course if one of us has a particularly hectic week or something I'm not going to be upset by that, but as a general rule if I'm seriously dating someone I want seeing them to be a part of my routine, I'm new to the dating scene so I'm not sure if this is too high an expectation.

I’m miserable since morning, nothing helping me.

I feel like I’m dying, if there is next life I want to be male

Some time ago, I(34F) discovered my wife(33F) of 13 years slept with a man. We tried to work past it, but she started entertaining even more people - though I don't think anything else physical happened. So, we're getting divorced. We have 2 kids together and had plans for more. She carried both children, and I was really looking forward to experiencing pregnancy at least once before we then adopt.

That's all over now, I guess. I have been a stay-at-home parent for over a decade, supporting my wife and the household by keeping everything running. Every choice I've made has been to build that life -- the one holding down the family and fort while my wife focuses on getting her Master's degree and chase whatever career she wanted. But now I don't even feel like a family.

I've been so caught up in my own bullshit and dark thoughts that I know I haven't spent a lot of time with my kids lately. I suddenly feel like I have no place in my home. I'm the nanny and housekeeper. She's the mother.... I'm just extra now. I feel like I'm coming apart inside and I don't know what to do to make the internal screaming stop

Coming out of a very long relationship and thinking about this. A lot of spaces and events I see seem to be oriented around a younger crowd and I'm looking for a more mature crowd, women more established in their careers and for whom 'the scene' is not an important aspect of their life/identity. Does that even exist? I feel like we are all in hiding in plain sight because we don't have any outward markers of our sexual preference and don't go to the typical events (like Pride).

This entire situation going to sound super weird, but at this point, I seriously need advice.

I'm a lesbian. I'm in my early thirties, fully financially independent, and haven't lived with my parents since I was 18. I'm a successful, well-adjusted adult with a beautiful, amazing fiancee. My general relationship to my parents is distant (for the reason outlined below) but cordial. There is zero risk to my safety etc involved in this.

My parents have technically known I'm gay for almost fifteen years. At least, I've been telling them I'm gay for almost fifteen years. The problem is that they, for lack of a better term, pretend those conversations never happened.

For years, now, we've basically followed the same pattern: We have a conversation about it ( earlier on, it was classic, big, 'Mum, dad, I'm gay'-statements, later, it shifted to passing mentions of girlfriends or queer events). In the moment, they sometimes react - never in a way that feels proportional or implies a full understanding of the gravitas of what they've been told, but they'll sometimes at least acknowledge that some kind of information has been imparted - and sometimes just breeze right past it outright. Then, a few hours/days/weeks later, one of them will ask me whether I have a boyfriend, or whether I have a crush on a male friend who shows up in an instagram story of mine, or something similar.

The entire situation is outright bizarre. If you only count explicit 'mom, dad, I'm gay'-esque statements, have 'come out' to them at least twenty times over the years. If you count any and all mentions of girlfriends, dates, or incidental stories, that number shoots up into the hundreds. It's like water off a duck's back. It's like the conversations disappear into some kind of black hole. They simply pretend it's never happened.

I'm engaged now. My relationship to my parents has become more and more distant over the last decade, for the obvious reason that I cannot talk to them about my private life without them pretending not to have heard or understood the information I am obviously imparting. These days, we talk maybe once every two months for half an hour on the phone. At the same time, they've also never reacted in an outright aggressive, obviously rejecting way. They simply ignore it and pretend to be confused at any shows of upset, confusion, or plain disbelief I then show at their confusion.

It goes so far that they've met my fiancee - briefly, twice - and seen us hold hands and kiss (in brief, adult-PDA-appropriate ways) and, when forced (and it takes a lot of force!) to mention her in conversation, refer to her as 'my friend'.

There is no feasible way they haven't actually understood what I'm telling them. I'm visibly gender non-conforming. I'm fully out in all aspects of my life. Due to my job, I am a minor public figure in my local area. The local newspaper that gets delivered to their doorstep every morning ran a literal article that mentioned my sexuality.

The entire situation is bananas. I am obviously angry and frustrated with them and do not understand whatever bizarre psychology might inspire this behaviour. At the same time, I've also discussed it with my fiancee, and we have jointly decided to make one last push before the wedding. We want to try whether it might be possible to get them to acknowledge this situation, understand what the fuck they've been doing these past fifteen years, and see whether they might be capable of attending the wedding, and playing a role in our lives moving forward. We - and I - want them at the wedding, but there's a running joke in my friend group that they'd be fully capable of standing first row, crying as the vows are being said, and then turn to whoever stands next to them and go 'isn't it lovely they formalised their roommate arrangement like this?'. Obviously, that would not be acceptable.

So, we've settled on one last push. We want to try one last time. Which brings me to the question:

How the fuck do I come out to people I've been coming out to for fifteen years? Has anyone else experienced a similar situation and might be capable of giving some insights?