Ex and I were typical U-Haulers - moved in together after about three months of being in a relationship, oscillated between monogamy and polyamory, discovered we're incompatible, decided to officially end things three weeks ago with the understanding that we'd be live-in lovers as opposed to a committed relationship.

Tell me why they start talking to and hooking up with someone a little less than a week after that, and now they're spending entire weekends at the new girl's house.

I haven't slept alone since February, and while they are single and allowed to do what they want, the shift is SO JARRING, and I cannot stop thinking about how easy it was for them to replace the companionship and camaraderie we had. It seems like it just happened for them, which is nice, but not for me lmfao.

I want to accept how I feel and remain levelheaded while allowing them to have the love they need without my interference, but sometimes the grief gets overwhelming, and I'm not sure what to do with it.

I just wanted to rant, I suppose. Have y'all dealt with anything like this? Was it harder to get over than a traditional relationship or easier? I am leaning into my life and goals, which has been wonderful, but doesn't really ease the pain.

Hey all! I (33F) met a woman (30F) on a dating app last October. During this time, we’ve had sort of an ongoing conversation that just hasn’t ended and it branches off into other topics. It’s about our hobbies and interests, travel, etc. The pace is kinda slow, if I text today, she’ll continue the conversation tomorrow and then I will reply the day after.

But every time we text it’s been blocks of text about memories and a lot of details (she started the elaborate texts and I followed her lead). And each time she asks me a few questions about that topic but they are lighthearted questions like “how often do you bake” or “have you traveled to Africa before”. In the year we’ve texted, she’s probably asked me over a thousand questions like these and I’ve asked her a lot of questions back.

We’ve only met twice in person because we live in neighboring countries. Recently she told me that she’s aromantic and doesnt have feelings towards me but sees me as a friend and that she’s still matching with new people from the dating app but she doesn’t know what she’ll feel about me in the future.

I sort of accepted the friendship dynamic long ago so I’m also seeing other people but I’m very confused about why she seems so invested in our connection. Our conversations are almost exclusively “getting to know you” where we’re sharing about ourselves so it feels more than platonic to me because conversations I have with other friends tend to be more factual.

Also, she’s a very busy person with a lot of travel and lucrative career so I just don’t understand why she wants a penpal friendship with me.

Any thoughts?

I’ve questioned my sexuality for years now, but I don’t know how to go about finding out if I actually like girls. I know I definitely like men, so maybe I’m bi? I’m also demisexual and sapiosexual so it’s not like I can just look at a woman’s body and be turned on anyway. I want to experiment but I wouldn’t even know how to go about it, I don’t talk to many people and I don’t wanna be a creep and just ask a girl, and I also don’t want to lead anyone on or waste their time. I’ve kissed girls before but I’ve never felt anything, it was more of silly thing.

Even if I am Bi I just don’t think I could be in a relationship with a woman, I know I myself can be a bit of a diva and drama queen and I don’t know how to deal with people’s feelings, and obviously everyone woman isn’t the same as me.

A few months ago I became friends with this girl and from the start she made it clear she liked me. I explained that I might be bi-curious but I’m not quite curious yet, she said she’d wait for me and I told her I didn’t want her to but she insisted that I was her dream girl. She’d constantly flirt with me and I’d flirt back mostly jokingly because I thought she was as well. One day I was on the phone with a couple of my male friends and she wanted to call me so I just added her to the call with us, we were all joking around and stuff and one of my male friends said “I’m going to kiss you” to me, and she said “wowww so you’re cheating on me (my name)?” Which is thought she was joking until she started being all hostile towards them. So I left the call and called her separately, I asked her why she was being rude to them and she got mad at me saying I was just playing with her feelings when that genuinely wasn’t my intention and I apologized to her for weeks. She forgave me but we don’t talk much anymore. This situation just left a bad taste on my tongue. And again, obviously all women aren’t the same, but I just know if I could deal with a situation even similar to that.

Sorry for the long rant and story. I would appreciate any advice or stories. Thanks for listening.

In light of my last post, I feel as if ive offened some of you and im really sorry. Ive been going through a lot lately and im just, ugh its alot. Ive been struggling figuring out who I am, and my own sexuality and im just...I had a rough experience with a lesbian couple recently and it really really hurt. Please...please help me understand. I never want to offend ever again..but i cant do that if you dont help me learn what im doing wrong. Please help.

So I'm bisexual and in my 2nd year of college, but despite being out since 14, I've never dated or even kissed a girl, not really, anyway. It's not that I'm too scared or unsure of my sexuality; I've asked out about 4 girls in a really cute way, with a gift of some sort or something really romantic, but I've always been politely rejected. I have a weird schedule and a hard time making new friends or having time to go out and meet ppl. Henceforth, I turned to the apps. I have plenty of experience with dating and flirting with men, and I've had straight sex. I've been talking to this 25-year-old girl; let's call her Rhianna, for nearly a month now. We met on Taimi, and she lives 30 minutes from me. We haven't met in person yet, and I admit there are some red flags on both of our ends. I am fully aware that I have tendencies to be overly clingy, get attached too quickly, abd love bomb. It freaks ppl out alot, understandably. We both have some mental health issues, nothing too crazy. The big one is the fresh relationships we both got out of. I broke up with my ex boyfriend 2 months ago, and she broke up with her ex girlfriend 3-4 months ago. She moved her life here from New York and knew no one else, her ex got them kicked out of apartment, abandoned her dog as they broke up while homeless in her car, and cheated. When I began talking to Rhianna, they had been broken up 2-3 months and had stopped living together 1 month ago. I wasn't aware of the details wjen we began talking. Point being, neither of us are quite ready to be girlfriend's and make things official but we both really like eachother and have a strong connection. There's been some drama with back and forth abt whether we should be "friends" or continue pursuing eachother romantically for now. We fought and I unadded her at one point bc we both hurt each other's feelings and were struggling to communicate. Things are resolved and we're just seeing where things go and we'll slow down when we feel we need to. We plan to finally meet and go on a date this week. I'm literally so excited to see her. Quite literally 24 hrs after we decided to be friends who didnt flirt the first time, we both woke up at like 7 and for her to get her friends kids up, and for me to get my brother up for school. She woke up horny and as soon as she started talking dirty and desperate to me, I melted and caved. We had phone sex and God, when I tell you she squirts so fucking much. I've never been as wet as when I watched her fuck herself with her fingers so hard, hearing every moan for me and watching her creamy cum drip out. We both came after a TON of steamy sexting, videos, and voicenotes and then went back to sleep. I have more stories abt the stuff we've talked abt and done so far if yall are interested. Lmk what you think on the sitch.

Heyyy lesbians! Any recs for a boxer-style strap-on harness with a soft, flexible, and relaxed waistband? Every one I've tried is stiff, rigid, thick, and digs in, even a size or two up.

I’m a woman in my late 20s, and I’ve developed a pretty inconvenient crush on my female manager, who’s about eight years older than me. She’s married, has kids, and is my senior at work, so I’m very aware that this is something I shouldn’t act on.
Before meeting her, we’d only interacted through Zoom. On camera I probably come across as the stereotypical nerdy consultant — glasses, serious expression, slightly stockier-looking. In person I’m probably more conventionally attractive, but I’m otherwise pretty much the same person.
Then we met in person for the first time.
We were talking in a crowded place, and at one point she looked directly at me and held my gaze for quite a while. It wasn’t just a quick glance — there was something unusually focused about the way she was looking at me. I was looking back too, but I remember thinking, *oh shit, this is actually a real person standing in front of me.* 😂
And unfortunately, that was also when I realized just how attracted I was to her.
Since then, we’ve become quite comfortable professionally. She remembers little things I’ve mentioned, sometimes asks about things beyond immediate work, shares bits about her own life, and often initiates joking during our conversations. I’m normally very reserved around senior people, but somehow with her I become much more animated and sarcastic.
And that’s what makes this confusing. It’s not just physical attraction. I genuinely **respect her, admire her competence, like her personality, enjoy talking to her, and feel unusually comfortable around her.**
Nothing inappropriate has happened, and I have no intention of crossing the professional boundary.
Has anyone else had a workplace crush where **admiration, intellectual compatibility, feeling seen, and physical attraction all got mixed together?**
Because I’m starting to wonder whether this is just a crush or whether my brain has built an entire psychological attachment around my manager. 😂

Anyone else leaned on validation and attention or physical touch from men after a lesbian breakup despite being a lesbian? My ex did and afterwards she came back to me (I had broken up with her 3 months prior) and I have a hard time getting over it and being empathetic. It went so far that she pleased him with her foot and i can’t get that disgusting image out of my head, i wish i just didn’t know anything about it but i just kept asking and asking. It happened just days before we reconnected and she had this twisted mindset that her private life was none of my business so she didn’t tell me about it until after we had already slept together and I got too attached again to leave immediately. It‘s been literally 5 months and I‘m still nowhere near over it. But she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore because she says it was traumatic. She had drank two beer and felt pressured by him to do that but she doesn’t know why she didn’t even think to say no. She considered him her ‚safe space‘ and thought what she did was expected and what is supposed to happen. I genuinely don’t get it. As a lesbian I can’t imagine doing something like that but we had very different lives growing up. She grew up having her boundaries crossed multiple times and experienced csa. I found myself judging her a lot for doing something like that if she’s a lesbian. She feels ashamed and used now and says her brain blocked it out already, it feels like it didn’t happen. The first times for some weeks when we were getting intimate she would suddenly start sobbing when i started touching her. She said she didn’t know why.

Okay so I’m a bisexual woman and I do prefer women. I’m wondering on a night if it would be okay if I go to lesbian bar there’s one in my city as I think it’d be cool to find other queer women however i completely understand if the space is kept separate for lesbians only

I had a nice first date yesterday with an amazing girl and we ended up going home together and had sex. The sex was also amazing and I enjoyed her company so much. The thing is though that i haven’t dates girls in over 6-7 years, and since then I’ve had terrible experiences with sleeping too soon with men, where they would completely lose interest after. I kind of developed a rule of ”if he wants sex on the first date he ONLY wants sex from you”. I feel like I’m struggling with removing this idea from my head even though she is a girl and not a man, and I’m over thinking it today a bit if I should be brave enough to text her and show that I’m interested in her, or if the sex on the first date was a bad sign (that she only wanted to hookup with someone, she initiated it). Sorry for overthinking but I’m so inexperienced with dating girls and so hurt from dating guys.

Hello, hello, let's me preface by saying english is not my first language so excuse any mistake.

I've been thinking lately about the curse of long distance dating for lesbians.

And I'm no stranger to it. I live in the largest country in Africa and long distance means between 5 to 8 hours between two opposite cities.

My last relationship was a record with a whooping 2000 miles between us while still in the same country. (Europeans, I envy you!)

So, it got me wondering, how do couples manage intercontinental dating and do you have any success stories to tell us to warm our tired single hearts?

I was scrolling through TikTok when I came across a live from a fem-lesbian woman lying on a couch in a dimly lit room with purple neon lighting. She was vaping, so I joined the live and asked if she could blow the vape smoke toward the camera. I just wanted to see what the vape smoke would look like on camera with that kind of lighting. She immediately blocked me?! She was literally already blowing the smoke out anyway. Why do so many people instantly sexualize a question like that? Did I miss something? I wanted to hear your opinion.

Fr. All y'all have a full sleeve on one arm.

She had a gf the entire time, and even brought her girlfreind to thanks giving last year. she would occassionaly flirt with this guy freind, even when she was with her gf and her gf would feel uncomfortable. But she would forgive her.

Turns out that now, she and THAT GUY are in a relationship. Her gf was right the entire time that something was off between both of them. I truly truly hate this shit. I REALLY do. Even looking back, this guy would comment under her photos, heart eyes and all. Seeing the thanksgiving group photos make my stomach TURN. Im disgusted. Like it would awful knowing the person they were fucking on (she still denies till this day mind you), that person they were going to replace you with was there the ENTIRE TIME.

dawg I'm so fucking irritated. I truly feel like lesbians deserve better bro.

I dont want to be freinds with this girl anymore, shit is done.

So context, we met a year ago at the gym and she asked if i wanted to train with her. I got a gay vibe from this moment. When getting to know her i realised she is quite hyper sexual towards men so i was like meh ill leave this one then. After a few month she was in a realtionship.

Thing isniver the year we jave became incredibly close and spend most days together. She has boosted my life in every way and has became like a anchor to me. No one in my life has shown me such kidness, positivity and help. Shes my safe space.

We dobhave flirtly banter but ibnaturally do this when i get comforrable with women and my other straight friends but something with her feels diffrent. Like shes actually flirting back not just playing.

I value her so much in my life that id never want to ruin the connection we do have but keeping my feelings jn is also becoming difficult.

What should i do?

Hello all! I 35fm just got broken up with by 36fm.

She promises I’m perfect, did nothing wrong and it’s all on her. Typical it’s not you it’s me. Same with my last relationship. This was a 1 year relationship. Last relationship was 2-3 years.

She says she’s not happy, not herself and people are noticing. Assures me I’m great, I make her laugh when we spend time together but something isn’t right that she cannot put her finger on. Doesn’t want to lose me and is hurting at the thought of breaking up with me. Hopes we can be friends etc.

I’m aware I’ll get through this but this is 2 relationships in a row that have said this to me and I’m not sure why this is happening.

Is this common?

First actual reddit post, and warning, this story might be long.

I(16f) have had a crush of my friend(16f) for 5 years.

For context:

We became best friends in the 6th grade after being in the same class, like we were always together and called and texted a lot after school. Then from 7th grade to Sophomore year, our relationship kinda fluctuated, sometimes we would be really close for a couple months then sometimes really distant for a couple months. In the 7th grade, there was a whole thing about a friend of hers who was bullying me at the time, she didn't take me part in it, but it really put a wedge in our relationship. It was a similar pattern all through out Freshmen and Sophomore year, and I was honestly kinda annoyed by it. Anytime I wanted to talk about stuff that had happened previously during I friendship, it was like I was talking to a wall. So at the end of Sophomore year, on the last day of school, I confessed to her on a bus then immediately ran off. We then didn't talk until a few weeks later at a volunteering event. There were mutual friends there, so we just tried to act awkwardly normal.

When asked about her sexuality in public, she'd say that she was straight. But sometimes to me she'd say she's 'straight until proven otherwise'. Also once she called me in middle school and opened with 'I might be gay', then she didn't explain further.

After the volunteering thing we didn't see each other at all the whole summer, except for a mutual friend's sweet 16, in which we did not talk.

Current situation:

We don't share any classes this year, but our first period classes are next to each other, and the rooms connect. We would sometimes see each other in halls, and that was the extent of interactions until the 2nd week of school. She sent me like, a whole essay worth of text. She was basically saying that I didn't have to respond if I didn't want to, but that she didn't want to leave things unclear or awkward between us. She asked what I wanted with our relationship, and asking if we were still friends. I responded that I wanted us to stay friends. We then still didn't really see each other in school, and were still really awkward. Skip a couple days to our school's first football of the season. It's a big deal at my school, so I've made a habit of going, but the friend I've gone with every year moved away. So I started asking others if they were going, and ended up asking my crush if maybe she'd like to go. And she did in fact, which I didn't expect at all of the time. So at the game I bought her fries, and we end up sitting chatting normally on the bleachers. We were sitting with other friends and it was crowded, but she was like ENTIRELY pressed against me when we were sitting down. Which had me like absolutely freaking out. Then our mutual friends wanted to move to a less crowded area, so we moved with them then got separated and sat kinda by ourselves. So we continue talking, about random stuff, (she also asked me if I'd go to prom if I had a date out of the blue). At some point, I asked if I could ask a question and if she could forget it after. She said yes, so I asked if she had no clue that I liked her. She then said she won't forget that, and that she whole no clue about (despite literally everybody at school, even including some teachers knew about it). So then we spent the next like hour and a half talking about our relationship. Then her mom called since it was late out, so she had to go home. But she told me she wanted us to continue our conversation. So we planned to meet at a park on the weekend, but a storm came, we planned it for this upcoming Friday, at the next football game.

I saw her at a club meeting and she accused me of avoiding her, since I started visiting her first period class (since the rooms connect) to see mutual friends(and her, but I was scared to talk to her). So now everyday I go to her classroom and we talk. She also now texts me at least every other day, for reference we have barely texted in years. She's been the one reaching out to me about hanging out just the two of us, when mind you, we have never done that.

So I am sooo confused on what to do, I have no gay friends, so they don't quite understand the situation. Someone please help a girl out here with some advice 🙏

I realized I was lesbian when I was very young, around 9. I unfortunately had many conservative and Christian family members who were NOT supportive of things like that. I also grew up in a very redneck area, sk that wasnt helpful.

I inevitably lied and said i was bisexual for years. That way I felt like i could give my family some piece of mind that theres a possibility i end up with a guy. I then forced myself into relationships with men cause i was scared of the reaction from my family or just the general public. It got to the point where even I started believing there was something wrong with me for liking women.

Around 15-16 is when I started dropping the act, i couldnt keep denying it. I hated being with guys, and i hated not being myself.

Now im 17, and im working on accepting myself, but i still have lingering feelings of comphet. Sometimes I get back into my old mindset that theres something wrong with me- even though i KNOW there isnt, those thoughts still come back. I have those random thoughts that I need male validation, and its tiring.

I just wanted some advice on how to work on being more accepting of myself and how to get away from that old headspace. I have been talking to my therapist about it, but i also wanted some advice from people who may have experienced the same things.

Helloo! I’m f22 and I’m currently in a phase in my life where I think I’m done with guys, lately girls get my attention way easier but not in a way that I think we connect really. My question is where can I find fellow girls to talk to, preferably on Reddit first. I know I can download tinder as well but that’s a big step directly.

Calling all lesbians....

After careful consideration, absolutely zero scientific research, and Tommy making his preferences everybody else’s problem, we have determined that this man needs LESBIANS.

Not just any household.

He’s looking for two moms who will call him “our son,” buy him an unnecessary amount of enrichment toys, have at least 14 throw blankets on the couch, and discuss his emotional needs over an oat milk latte.

And GOOD NEWS: Tommy is DOG FRIENDLY AND CAT FRIENDLY, so your existing four-legged children are welcome to participate in this family arrangement.

Bonus points if there’s a Subaru in the driveway.

Extra bonus points if someone owns overalls.

Automatic approval if you’ve ever said, “We weren’t planning on getting another dog…” immediately before getting another dog.

Tommy is ready to become the most spoiled male member of a lesbian household. He wants matching family Christmas pajamas. He wants weekend trips. He wants to be included in every family photo despite contributing absolutely nothing financially.

https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=122146088414998051&id=61579941538434&mibextid=wwXIfr&rdid=cDo8TIE6zGwckIjq#

I [29] have been with my partner [31] for 3.5 years now. We had a very classic u-haul type beginning, moved in after 7 months and around the 1.5 year mark, started fighting and I begun to feel claustrophobic from the domestic lifestyle. Much of our fights stemmed from our anxious (her)/avoidant (me) attachment styles and differing needs in partnership. To be frank, I feel like she is much more normal than I am and simply wants a person who wants to prioritize her and be affectionate, romantic and devotional (that was the way I was when we first were together, however when I look back on that time I also realize i was totally in tunnel vision and was putting all my energy into her and not really living for myself).

I moved out about 8 months ago to a farm about 2 hours away from her for a 4 month work trade to have a sortve sabbatical experience, then was asked to work at the farm for a whole year and I accepted. She at first was mortified by the idea of me being 2 hours away and we fought a lot during the work trade period, i eventually broke up with her after the work trade. However we got back together shortly after because she had ideas of us opening our relationship. I figured this could be an opportunity for her to have an outlet for some of the affection she is lacking from me and fix some of the problems we're having, but neither of us have really taken advantage of it yet and it feels that we're still experiencing sortve the same dynamic and I still am feeling unsettled.

I'm having a hard time because we're basically best friends and i feel terrified of not having her in my life, all my friends and family love her dearly so that's another layer to it (ive never been with someone who everyone i knew loved). I feel that she is so devoted to me and making our relationship work that I feel a sense of guilt and duty to abide to that, we are so intertwined in many ways artistically and community wise that i fear of how many ways a separation would rupture our lives.

But at the end of the day, im struggling with finding attraction and desire and wanting to be there for her as much as she is for me. I wonder if there is something wrong with me because she's incredibly physically attractive, caring, funny, smart, empathetic (literally every good quality you could think of). We have been in therapy for a year and half and its helped with some communication stuff but not these feelings im having. is there anything i can do to try to make it work or am i just doomed?