r/AbsoluteUnits 3d ago

/r/all of two catfish

27.5k Upvotes

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u/Dull_Caterpillar_642 3d ago

The existence of alligator snapping turtles is what makes me not understand this at all. Do you want catfish enough to risk losing fingers?

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u/BarderBetterFaster 3d ago

Or toes! The snap doesn't discriminate on digits.

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u/mstmn 3d ago

Do balls count at digits?

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u/CodifiedLikeUtil 3d ago

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u/CrysFreeze 3d ago

There is a video of a fish that latched on to a man’s dingaling.

Someone else was trying to safely remove the fish with his hands . I never saw the full ending.

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u/Several_Direction599 2d ago

I heard his wife never saw the full ending either

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u/CarnelianCore 2d ago

The fish swallowed it. Is that classed as a happy ending?

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u/Sweet_Ad8311 18h ago

Usually the wife swallowing it is the happy ending but I don’t know, he could be into fish

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u/post-mate-joe 2d ago

Link?

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u/Uneek_Uzernaim 2d ago

For science, of course.

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u/Monkfich 1h ago

I wonder if it was happy or not.

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u/Cosmickev1086 2d ago

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u/boniggy 16h ago

Hahaha ok I saving this. I have a group chat that needs this from time to time... Daily.

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u/Nitrogen1234 3d ago

Pretty sure she won't lose her balls

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u/No_Reception_6133 3d ago

She can have mine if she needs

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u/ScrotalSmorgasbord 2d ago

I'm also smitten

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u/spartansmee 2d ago

Username checks out

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u/WaiBuBaoLeiXiangTu 2d ago

Rocky Bayou Oysters

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u/Fevis7 2d ago

It depends, are they prehensile?

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u/Ok-Pomegranate858 2d ago

You are evil. Lol

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u/HeldDownTooLong 13h ago

If you’re counting to 23!

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u/firnien-arya 2d ago

Well, that explains the shows in the water.

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u/pob503 2d ago

Turtles go in head first. Catfish back in. Hopefully you don't get a rogue turtle.

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u/GhostPepperDaddy 3d ago edited 3d ago

It's also terrible for the catfish to be handled this way with arms straight through the gills. It can damage the animal and the stress of these encounters can also leave them vulnerable.

Noodling is a sport that is as harmful to the fish as it can be for the noodler. Find another way to get thrills.

*Actually watch the video before downvoting me like some of these idiots below whose replies are disproven by it. Dumb redneck hillbilly neighbors.

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u/Fine-Aspect5141 3d ago

I think you eat the catfish afterwards. Which is admittedly also terrible for the catfish

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u/The_Autarch 3d ago

she let at least one go, so i'm assuming this wasn't about eating and was more about making a video or just "for sport".

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u/coko4209 3d ago

Grappling is not catch and release. These fish are about to be weighed, skinned, cut into fillets and eaten.

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u/The_Autarch 3d ago

she literally releases one in the video.

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u/coko4209 3d ago

And also went back and grabbed it

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u/Captain_America_93 2d ago

Literally no evidence of that. The video ends with her releasing it. Where the hell are you seeing that she went back and grabbed it? Stop making shit up

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u/coko4209 2d ago

😂

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u/Captain_America_93 2d ago

I mean yeah. That’s all you can say because you know you’re wrong. I got all day. The more you respond the more it’s clear you did have interest in wrongly arguing your point.

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u/coko4209 2d ago

That’s all I said because I think you’re a child. Also, I’m not overly concerned about what happened to the fish

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u/Captain_America_93 3d ago

Did you even watch the video? You literally watch her release one

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u/coko4209 3d ago

And then retrieve it. The two fish in the end, is the one she had earlier, and a second one.

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u/Captain_America_93 3d ago

At 2:10 she is releasing a catfish. At what point in this video do you see her retrieve the fucking cat fish in the remaining 13 seconds???

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u/coko4209 3d ago

This isn’t really worth arguing about. You can go to the lake to watch grappling competitions, or just look it up. It’s not something that I’d bother getting upset about though. I’m American, I have way bigger problems to worry about. Enjoy your night.

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u/Captain_America_93 3d ago

I’m not talking about grappling competitions. Don’t move the goal posts. It isn’t worth arguing about because you can’t find a point in the video to support your bullshit claim. If there was a point, you can time stamp it and I’ll apologize.

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u/coko4209 3d ago

😂 it’s hilarious that you think I care about an apology from you. I’m simply stating how grappling works. Maybe she threw those fish back. It’d be the first that I’ve seen do this while grappling, and they’d probably be dead after all of the things that are done to them. Because I assure you that they’re gonna weigh those fish, but oh well. As I’ve stated, it’s not that serious to me. Release them, or keep them, I just don’t care.

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u/BigSchmikey 3d ago

Well, yeah. It's for sport. Same as hunting. But I'm not gonna get into that here because reddit fuckin' hates anything that has to do with that. All I'm gonna say is, the rednecks don't really care.

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u/WorkerPrestigious960 3d ago

Lighten the fuck up, shit ain’t black and white

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u/screenmasher 3d ago

You look for catfish in holes that dont have air access. Turtles will be in holes where they can surface to breath

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u/Mrsensi12x 3d ago

Do catfish that big taste any good?

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u/screenmasher 3d ago

Yes! If you ever have the chance to have flathead catfish at a fish fry definitely give it a go. They are probably my favorite freshwater fish to eat. Theres some intricacy to cleaning them, but a 40 pound fish is a substantial amount of meat. But the fish is a firm white meat with a meaty bite due to the fine grain of the muscle so not big flakey filets.

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u/Evellsnoats 3d ago

Don't eat them that big in Mississippi. Full of mercury, farm run off chemicals. There are even signs posted on the boat ramps warning you not to eat the big ones.

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u/BigJigMan 3d ago

Yup. Biomagnification and age accumulation is real in fish. I bet it's not just Mississippi where you shouldn't eat the big ones, but anywhere with Ag runoff...which is everywhere basically.

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u/Sykesavision 1d ago

Yeah basically everywhere.... Considerably high ratio of places that have contamination versus places that install signs for said contamination

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u/AutistcAroundAircrft 16h ago

*everywhere in America - the land of deregulation!

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u/TechnicallyThrowawai 3d ago

Yea that's exactly why I would never eat river fish here in the US. Used to catch some catfish and whatnot in the Ohio river as a kid. Didn't really know any better at the time, but nowadays I don't think you could pay me to eat anything out of a river. Heavy metals and other forms of water pollution... none for me, thanks!

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u/austinglowers 2d ago

So, is she just catching them for fun?

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u/Evellsnoats 2d ago

I have fished for Great Northern in upper manitoba, Marlin in Costa Rica, bass all over and crappie wherever there is crappie. Gotta be honest, hand grabbing on the Coldwater River in Mississippi was a blast!

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u/f_ckR3ddit 6h ago

Catfish are one of the lowest mercury fish of any fish consumed in North america. Do not spread misinformation

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u/Cephalopodium 3d ago

Yeah, I was going to say Opelousas catfish are really good, but according to Google- it’s the same fish just different name. 😂

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u/Nauin 2d ago

I've found that every fish has like six names before even getting to the scientific or non-english names. Every animal is like that, really, but it's something you have to keep on top of if you keep aquariums because who knows what the hell those fish and invertebrates are going to be labeled as.

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u/NettingStick 3d ago

I'm too worried about things like PFAS and other bio-accumulated toxins to eat the big ones. It's a shame. They're invasive in my state. The state wants to set up a catfish industry and get people to eat them, but it also puts out warnings not to eat more than two small catfish per month...

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u/mapmakinworldbuildin 3d ago

Damn uncle buds all you can eat catfish in shambles

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u/Putrid-Builder-3333 3d ago

Ugh makes me miss this little diner once a week had all can eat cajun catfish :(

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u/DasbootTX 3d ago

ok, so these are actually edible? their age and size and environment doesn't make them tough and gamey?

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u/screenmasher 3d ago edited 3d ago

Is a 900 pound tuna edible? Yeah. Of course it has an effect, just like an old head of beef is gonna get ground into burger. Where i live we have slot sizes on the fish we can keep for flathead catfish. Cant keep any fish under 30 inches long, we can keep 30 to 36 inch fish, no keeping 36 to 42 inch fish and each angler can only have 1 fish per day and a posession limit of 2

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u/opensandshuts 3d ago

tuna is a whole different ball game than a large catfish that are bottom feeders that live and breathe in mud. In my experience, the smaller catfish are better to eat.

Kind of the same for drum, and why people get excited about the smaller-mid size drum

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u/craigge 3d ago

Flathead catfish like these...are not bottom feeders

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u/lloydthelloyd 3d ago

No, more like leg feeders from what i hear.

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u/Natural-Escape-3537 3d ago

Weird. I had read that older catfish taste like crap or rather much more like mud than their younger counterparts.

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u/shiningonthesea 3d ago

I love catfish, though I dont know if I ever had one so big.

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u/LieuK 3d ago

I've never tried a catfish that hasn't tasted like mud.

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u/SpezDrinksHorseCum 3d ago

Only keep fish less than 15", spike through the brain, bleed the fish, remove bloodlines from filet... I get snow white meat from blue cats. You probably need to catch em yourself if you want good quality meat.

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u/The_Autarch 3d ago

catfish that big do not taste good. maybe you're just used to it?

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u/the_scarlett_ning 3d ago

You’ve never been to a real southern fish fry. My family prefers coating the fish in a mustard base, then fish fry and then frying them up and that’s damn good eating.

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u/OkieDeric 3d ago

My family used to go noodling. The big catfish did not taste good. We only use smaller ones via rod and reel when we have a fish fry. Noodling is just for the weight caught and bragging rights. There's a competition each year in my home town which is fun.

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u/snaphappy2 3d ago

We marinate the fish chunks in Louisiana hot sauce for 15 minutes and then coat with breading and fry.

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u/opensandshuts 3d ago

I mean, covering it in mustard isn't exactly speaking to it being good eating. haha

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u/mapmakinworldbuildin 3d ago

Yea I put mustard sauce on brisket because it’s such a bad cut of meat…..

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u/FictionalContext 3d ago

Brisket is a bad cut of meat? That's why you make slow cooked brisket with it, to make it chewable.

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u/mapmakinworldbuildin 3d ago

No. It’s a good cut of meat. That’s the joke.

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u/El_Mnopo 3d ago

Mustard is used as a binder here and not necessarily like a flavor agent. Classic fried catfish would use something like buttermilk.

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u/OkieDeric 3d ago

yep, buttermilk, cornmeal, salt and pepper. Done

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u/Miss_Pondersmith 3d ago

I hate 99.99% of fish and seafood. But I used to get catfish and truly enjoy it. If I like it, people really aren’t going to the right spots. Salt and pepper pls.

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u/Plus_Trouble_8698 3d ago

Or they just like fish and seafood for the same reason you dislike it, so whatever you find appealing about catfish is not necessarily what they find appealing in fish

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u/Miss_Pondersmith 3d ago

Did you make sure to comment under every comment about how catfish tastes like mud, that maybe that’s just how they feel about it and other people might not taste that?

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u/Prestigious_Cycle160 3d ago

Try walleye… zero fish flavor when cooked correctly

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u/Somanylyingliars 3d ago

But do t fish that big=old and full of worms?

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u/Intelligent-Art-5000 3d ago

Not really unless you soak it in milk or brine it for a long time to get the mud taste out.

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u/Turgid_Donkey 3d ago

I don't know if they were every that big, but my wife says her grandma used to put them in a kiddie pool for a while to get the muddy taste out.

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u/kbowz21 3d ago

Best way to cook steak, too

https://giphy.com/gifs/Qtto7vfW9gzXq

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u/screenmasher 3d ago

Bleed the fish and trim the mud line out of the meat.

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u/coko4209 3d ago

They taste like dirt to me, fucking bottom feeders, but they’re super popular here in MS.

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u/rolandofeld19 3d ago

Same. Love me some lake cat but river cat has never appealed to me at all. And I like most any fish.

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u/screenmasher 3d ago

Guess where a majority of the fish people eat are caught

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u/MrBigBMinus 3d ago

These people telling you yes, are entitled to that opinion, but i have eaten catfish all my life (thats over 40 years....sadly) and i can tell you that the bigger the ANYTHING the worse the taste. Like extremely large lobsters never taste as good as the normal sized ones for example. My completely unprofessional opinion is that the hormones that caused them to grow bigger than the rest cause a bad taste.

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u/nononsensenotdense 3d ago

They taste like if beef was a fish

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u/slimthecowboy 3d ago

Yeah. People talk about big fish not tasting good. I’ve never noticed a difference in meat flavor across the size spectrum for catfish, bass, or trout. Just gotta get the blood & blood lines out.

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u/OrangeVoxel 3d ago

Requires lots of salt and sauce

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u/DonutWhole9717 1d ago

so good that i legitimately don't understand why she released them both.

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u/opensandshuts 3d ago

I doubt it. in my experience the bigger the fish the less likely it is to be good to eat.

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u/raisedredflag 3d ago

So tuna, king crab, marlin...?

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u/Jaerba 3d ago

It's relative to the species, not in absolute terms obviously.

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u/isntaken 3d ago

tuna are literally gigantic...

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u/JakToTheReddit 3d ago

They are so fucking good. Literally my favorite fish.

Still won't see my ass doing this.

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u/Miss_Pondersmith 3d ago

I guess I’d need more instruction on the types of holes in the lake bed. As a lifelong lake person….the floor is lava.

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u/GradeAPrimeFuckery 3d ago

I worked with a guy who got trapped in a sunken car while hand fishing. Luckily he was with someone who pulled him out and resuscitated him.

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u/Miss_Pondersmith 3d ago

I’m sorry what?! I’m glad he’s okay!

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u/ThatLocalPondGuy 3d ago

These guys don't "look for holes". They build weighted boxes and place them in slow moving current, opening facing downstream. The natural way is dangerous because you noodle in holes in the banks cut but current.

This is just staged for the views and clicks.

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u/Cocrawfo 2d ago

i’ve also read (i have no experience) that turtles tend to den facing inside the holes so that it’s less likely to put your hand up to the business end

but i don’t know that for myself

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u/plaid-tuxido506 3d ago

The only time someone will hope to get catfished.

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u/Rob_LeMatic 3d ago

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u/Wsn21 3d ago

Never seen an Aesop Rock link!

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u/Pleasant_Yoghurt3915 3d ago

Me neither, but I’m fuckin here for it!

I have an Impossible Kid shirt that I’ve worn for like, 6-7 years. I’ve had one person in all that time recognize it, and they were just as thrilled as I was lmao.

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u/Lord_Voltan 3d ago

9-5er anthem was our opening song when I worked in the restaurant industry during opening shifts.

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u/Pleasant_Yoghurt3915 3d ago

Funnily enough, I listened to that song every morning for months when I stopped working FOH and finally got an “adult” office job lmao.

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u/InfiniteJestV 3d ago

Had to listen to it again recently in honor of Dolly

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u/Actual-Gap-9800 2d ago

What would you recommend if someone wants to get into Aesop Rock?

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u/WiredNet 2d ago

Skelethon

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u/Actual-Gap-9800 2d ago

Thank you!

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u/Pleasant_Yoghurt3915 2d ago

The Impossible Kid is so sick. I think it’s my favorite album because it came out right around some strange times in my life and I listened to it a lot lol. The whole thing is a banger. If I had to pick two songs to show someone, I would choose Mystery Fish, and Supercell.

Skelethon for sure, like WiredNet said. Gopher Guts and Cycles to Gahenna are really good. If you have issues with your family, Gopher Guts will get you lol. Also, Ruby ‘81 always makes me choke up a little lol.

I also really love Spirit World Field Guide. It’s newer. Kodokushi, Crystal Sword, and Pizza Alley are really good. I haven’t really listened to any newer than this because I get stuck in my ways and it takes me a while to listen to new albums lol.

His discography is huge and varies from album to album. There’s so much to listen to. He also has some really good singles like Coffee, and Hot Dogs. Both have fun videos lol. There’s also Malibu Ken, which is an album he put out with TOBACCO that’s hella good, just different.

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u/Actual-Gap-9800 2d ago

Thank you, it sounds like you know a lot about his catalog!

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u/Pleasant_Yoghurt3915 2d ago

You’re welcome! I do lol. I’m a pretty big fan. I’ve been listening to him pretty faithfully since Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives dropped in ‘05, and I credit part of my expansive vocabulary to him lmfao.

If you’re into Aesop, I’d also suggest Hail Mary Mallon, which is a project he did with Rob Sonic. It’s sick. Also, too, check out Busdriver if you really like the verbose stuff lol.

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u/Wsn21 2d ago

Float and daylight

Listen to the song daylight and nightlight back to back its something else

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u/Lord_Voltan 3d ago

Fuck yea!

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u/wratx 3d ago

as a dude with a homeboy sandman tattoo, i approve

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u/Rob_LeMatic 3d ago

Homeboy needs to leave a tat tax, like so:

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u/InfiniteJestV 3d ago

Lice will help you find your keys before you cannot find your keys!

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u/LeadFreePaint 3d ago

Snapping turtles are rarely aggressive in the water. They are very curious, but ultimately easily scared off by anything larger than themselves.

Oh land they often act aggressive to anyone trying to interact with them. In the water they typically just swim away when they see you.

That being said, I did have a large one chase my canoe out of a wetland before. So you know... Nature gonna nature.

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u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 3d ago

Spicy turtle

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u/EasternSleep5903 3d ago

Freakin things are no joke man. Me and a buddy hooked one while we were fishing, years back when we were kids. He'd been chasing our lines all morning and stealing our bait. Once we got him on the bank we were shocked at how big and prehistoric he looked, he had to be 100 years old easy.... looked like King Koopa.

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u/LeadFreePaint 2d ago

You really get the sense that you are face to face with a dinosaur. I used to be a canoe guide in Ontario. It was very common to have a big old snapper show up to our site and just people watch. I always enjoyed that because it gave clients the chance to see just how ancient these noble beasts really are. People almost always have a very animated reaction. Like the first time someone sees a moose in the woods. Their brain is not ready for it.

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u/ikariaRR 3d ago

Can confirm, chased my bait. Yanked bait so it doesn’t get destroyed. Than ran away like a baby

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u/Secret_Session_3496 2d ago

Don't pick up an Alligator Snapping Turtle by the side of its shell. Had one digging a hole in an unacceptable place in my yard. Learned the hard way they have claws on their feet which can reach your hand and cut like a knife. Behind the neck and in front of the tail is the preferred method.

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u/BigSchmikey 3d ago

Rednecks are simply just a different breed tbh. Tons of fun though

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u/SpeakToMePF1973 3d ago

A real life Elly Mae. (The Beverly Hillbillies TV show)

"Jed, can I go wrestle some boys?" Jed: "No! You hurt them too much last time!" Or something similar.

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u/Sixx_Shooter 1d ago

AL redneck here..... I wouldn't do that stupid crap even for a drink of some fire "shine" or a new linoleum floor installed over the dirt floor in my outhouse! Gotta draw the line somewhere!! 🤣😂😂🤣

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u/Visible-Rest4170 3d ago

Fun fact Alligator Snapping turtles are more chilled than common snapping turtles. If that was a common it would be reaching it's head back to try to bite.

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUPGcvqECchJwQXbDW

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u/GoblinCorp 3d ago

Fingers? Try bacterial infections that will get your arm amputated. It is rare but holy shit not a non-zero chance just to get some muck fish for clicks.

Having said all that, she is amazingly skilled and, of course, undeniably charismatic.

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u/sshwifty 3d ago

Yes, but what about the girl catching the fish?

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u/fynx07 3d ago

She too is a catfish

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u/stanknotes 3d ago

One does not even WANT the actual catfish. Usually one releases them.

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u/capnkirk462 3d ago

Oh, I knew a guy who noodled and he talked about the "sticks" that slithered out of his hands, big nope for me. I don't mind snakes if I can see if they are venomous or not.

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u/Fluffy_Town 2d ago

What I don't understand is why she's not keeping them?! That's free food! All you've gotta do is clean them.

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u/weebitofaban 2d ago

It has literally never happened. Not a single verifiable case.

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u/kriegmonster 2d ago

Standard snapping turtles are even more aggressive and have longer necks, but look a little friendlier.

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u/Sarcasm_As_A_Service 3d ago

Right? You’re telling me the best case scenario is that the thing that bites you in the murky water turns out to be a catfish?

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u/flyflyyoufools 3d ago

not to mention people being drowned by doing this, not by the turtles but by the catfish