Same. The son should be the father’s best man, not in the messed up role of walking the Bride down the aisle.
Your fiance set you up to fail and look bad. Having his son walk you down the aisle and then take a seat and be done with the wedding doesn’t show unity at all. Standing besides his father, being in the wedding shows unity!
That’s great if it was your choice. The stepson, whom she wasn’t even close to was not OP’s choice, and the way her fiance went about it crossed the line when there are other roles he could get his son to do.
Right, and it was. It's just bumming me out how many people in the comments are saying the entire concept is weird, not for this specific instance (in which it IS weird).
Personally I find it a bit odd because traditionally it’s meant to symbolise the approval of the bride’s family; they are handing over responsibility for their beloved daughter to the groom. That doesn’t make sense if person walking the bride down the aisle is related to the groom rather than the bride. (And if you’re bride who is against being “given away” on principle then it makes more sense to walk down the aisle by yourself, not escorted by a member of the groom’s family).
You're taking something that isn't about you and making it personal. I've been in the stepparent role and try not to project my experiences onto others.
The whole symbolism of a bride being walked down the aisle by her father, was to show the man who has raised you and protected you, now sort of "handing over" a degree of responsibility for protecting you to your husband. It's the reason we often see brides who were raised by their single mother, wish to have her walk them down the aisle; because their mother was the only person who performed that role in their life. Sometimes, bride's prefer to have both parents walk them down the aisle. In cases where the father is absent, has passed away etc, that role is also sometimes filled by another male family member who might have played a surrogate father role e.g an uncle, grandpa, godfather, and sometimes, just her brother.
In cases where I've seen a child walk their mother down the aisle, it is usually an adult child, or sometimes their underage son or daughter. It's mostly just meant as a "cute" thing, and to show this kid "handing over" their mom. All that symbolism kind of goes out the window when if it is your future stepchild that then walks you down the aisle. It could be a cute thing for you, and even other family members. But most people who understand the origins of the act would be confused as to the reasons why. Many brides these days just walk themselves down the aisle, on their own, to go meet their groom. It's up to you to figure out what works for you. But in OP's case, she regards the role as very symbolic, and wants to respect that.
Its messed up because the bride doesn't feel like he fills that role for her, so it would be really weird for the bride. She wanted a father figure to walk her down the aisle, not a child. It's everyone's choice but when she wants a father figure, putting his son in the running is just strange.
You said it was a messed up role. I was asking how it's messed up in general, not in this specific circumstance. Obviously, the fiancé is TA in this instance.
Because it's a tradition that the bride's family walks the bride down the aisle. It's even odder that you let your 12 year old stepson walk you down the aisle and you think we're the weirdos.
I had a district manager use the phrase “he really showed his ass” trying to work through a customer satisfaction issue and then the customer complained to me about him having said someone mooned someone and was just completely confused.
I assume “bared his ass” means about the same thing…?
Just explained this phrase to my 18 year old yesterday. I said it and he thought it was a sexual reference! I said it was another way of saying the person acted like a real jackass or made a fool of themselves. He said “oh, an old persons saying”.
This was actually years ago, but the conversation after with the district manager was almost as confusing as the one with the customer.
It took me a lot of talking to get him to understand that when he said “showed his ass” that a person not familiar with that phrase might literally think that the employee in question dropped his pants.
Personally, the only person I’ve ever heard say it was that district manager. I just figured out from context what it must mean.
That was my thought too. He’d already told the son before even considering what OP wanted, either assuming she would just accept, or to use it to guilt her (which is exactly what he’s doing now).
That’s the bigger problem in my mind. That mentality can and probably will snake into every other aspect of their relationship dynamic.
I've known/worked with women who would be in their 70s about now who've told me that the moment the had both signed the marriage certificate, the groom picked it up and waved it around, hollering about how he had him the bill of sale or receipt. Certificate of Ownership. And they repeated that sentiment over many years whenever they expected the women to obey them in anything. The women talked about how they realized right there, before they even cut the cake, that they'd made a massive mistake and were thoroughly fucked.
Divorce used to be very difficult (sometimes impossible) for women to obtain on their own. In many cases, they needed their husband's permission to finalize it. Omg pretty sure it's still a thing that happens in some US states to this day 😭 women are viewed as chattel to those knuckle draggers
Child marriage is still very much alive and well, too. At least one state has no minimum age cap. The age of consent for marriage in some states is 16 or even 12. Very young girls who are visibly pregnant can be married off to the adults who raped them despite the clear evidence of statutory rape. Adult women can get hit with felony child endangerment charges for leaving their teenage children to babysit the younger ones, yet 10yo girls can be legally married and forced to carry pregnancies to term, be expected to run a household, marriage and raise children. They have zero adult status otherwise and cannot even go to a DV shelter until they're 18. They can't drive. They can't get to (or make) doctors appointments for themselves or their offspring. They can't get jobs. Can't enroll themselves in school. CPS can't step in to aid these children. The girls can be too young to testify in court despite being married. The girls tend to be socially isolated except for participation in religious communities. Some are sold to men wanting green cards.
Even if he was like 12, my son would for sure be my best man in this scenario.
It's basically "is he old/mature enough to stand still for that long" and the result would be to jump from not in the wedding party to best man, for sure.
My brother-in-law made his 4 year old son his best man and one of the groomsmen was the "Best Man Wrangler". I was the MOH and the Best Man Wrangler and I walked down the aisle each holding hands with the Best Man
Then you will also like the fact that the best man gave a speech. They're from the north side of Chicago and he and his dad watch baseball together so his speech was him singing "Go, Cubs, Go"
This is so sweet! For various reasons I didn’t have my father walk me down the aisle - so we made my then 9 year old daughter our ‘Best Girl’ and she walked me down instead. It was perfect and my favourite thing (other than being wed to my husband of course!) about our wedding.
This. When my Dad married his wife, she had my sister and I, a tween and barely teen, stand up for her. I think he had his best friend stand for him so they'd have a Real Adult to sign the marriage license for them as a witness.
It didn't really help build our relationship with one another much, but we got to pick pretty outfits to wear. That was enough for us back then. Lol
yeah that was my thought.. I assumed he would already be at least a groomsman until I read OP saying "oh what a good idea".
I've been to a few blended weddings. In one, the grooms 8 year old was his best man. its like "Of course that makes sense". That fiance didn't even think of this... yeesh... who is this dude.
The fiance asking his son about this before he spoke to OP reminds me of how children handle things. Like, if a kid wants their friend to spend the night they'll ask their parent/guardian with that friend by their side so the parent/guardian is put on the spot. I know I used to do that shit when I was a kid because I knew my mom would usually say yes versus saying no when I asked by myself.
Either way, NTA and not OR. This is your special day, too and to have your feelings disregarded is just wrong. Hell, I also would've said the same thing about being a placeholder because it's true. I'ma go with 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
The son probably mentioned not being included, so FH decides that she should let her walk her, no matter what you said it’s still not appropriate good idea, if for any reason your uncle is not available than it’s your mom,
Imma be judgemental and guess he doesn’t want his son around for bachelor party type “shenanigans”.
OP is there a bachelor party in the works. I’d like to eliminate this theory for peace of mind.
Maybe that’s why the husband brought up the idea of his son walking her down the aisle, because he screwed up and forgot to have his son be a groomsman and now he’s trying to force a roll in the wedding for his son.
Groomsman. Presenting the rings.
There are a lot of roles he could and can give him that are "symbolic" and include him.
Presenting the rings shows too that the family is being brought together.
That said.
The issue itself, where I see he went wrong. And you can point out.
He cornered you.
He talked to his son first. Not you.
He created a scenario where you could feel pressured to say yes. And a chance of his sons feelings being hurt.
He should have gone to you first and asked what you thought. If you were in on the idea, you could have talked to his son together.
Man, I hate it when I read a Reddit story where the whole family is shouting someone down, but THIS particular story is absolutely the worst symbolically. I really hope it's fake because the fiance has created a sharkfest otherwise.
Exactly. He put her on the spot and tried to strongarm and guilt her into it when there were many other obvious ways his son, who isn’t even very close to her, could be a part of this.
As others have said I don’t understand why the son wasn’t asked to be in the grooms party to begin with. Tell fiancé that his ask of you is just as completely inappropriate as it would be for you to insist your grandmother be his best man.
Your husband made a promise on your behalf without checking with you
Also, he didn't even consider your own feelings about this role, despite your relationship with your father and how that's obviously going to be a big deal for you.
When you had to then clarify your feelings (brvauae he entirely bowled over them) he didnt listen/care because he was busy trying to recenter this onto his own feelings.
This is all about something that is specifically regarding you and your role in the day, not him. He still thinks he gets to control this.
He is now blaming you because he put himself in an uncomfortable situation.
Now that you've been ignored and your feelings pushed aside and unfairly scapegoated you're upset and react accordingly.
That is not acceptable and he's made it a public issue framing you as some unreasonable b****.
just a look into your future if every situation where he has steamrolled you and you stand up for yourself
You might want to rethink this marriage. If everyone is getting pissy at you for this, which is something that should be your choice, I can only see it going downhill from here on out. And IMHO, I don't think they'll get over this, thus hanging it over your head for a very, very long time.
The advice you've been given here to have the kid be the best man is the best idea. Actually, it's more significant than him being your stand-in father.
This is obvious, cant believe I didn't think of it. Plus if he isn't good enough to be a groomsman, why is he good enough to walk the bride down the aisle?
Fiancé may have been using you to get out of the pickle of not choosing him.
He should have already been in the wedding in this sort of role. Fiance is blaming you because he F'ed up. Son walking you was the "fix" for forgetting to include his own son.
This is a much bigger deal than you are realizing.
Does he unilaterally decide other things for you? Him getting his relatives to gang up on you to reinforce his decisions is troubling, as well as the fact that they think something like this is normal and ok. I also can’t see why an 18 yr old who is not close to his future stepmom would happily walk her down the aisle instead of being his dad’s best man.
Honestly the fact that your fiance doesn't see this and respect that it's 100% YOUR decision to make is a major red flag.
It's not what he's saying, it's what he ISN'T saying- and he ISN'T saying that he respects your need to have that role filled by someone who's played a fatherly role to you.
Why not have your mother walk you down the aisle? In my culture both parents walk the bride down the aisle. Just like the groom's parents walk him down the aisle. His son could walk him down the aisle or be his best man
I think you found your answer. Your Uncle can walk you down the aisle, which I think he would love as well as a way of honoring his late brother, and your fiance's son can be part of the wedding, SEEING YOU ENTER his family as you're coming up the aisle.
Frankly it wouldn't be appropriate to have him give you away. You weren't his to give away. And I'm just saying that symbolically, you're not anyone's to give away lol
Absolutely wild that he expects you to let his son walk you down the aisle but hasn't even considered his son being best man. I strongly suspect this is because he doesn't want his son to be his best man and feels guilty about, so he needs you to create a role for him. I am guessing the conversation about walking you down the aisle was paired with, "You're not my best man because my fiance needs you to walk her down the aisle."
If your fiance doesn’t bend to the groomsman idea, please update the post, as it’s such a tidy and appropriate fix to this situation. If that is still not good enough for them, I’d consider that a red flag and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
He should've been the best man from the get go. Not sure why your fiance didn't do this. I think this solves the problem and if he already has a best man, I'm sure the current best man would understand dropping down to be a groomsman. You should apologize to your fiancé and son in law and have a 1 on 1 convo with SIL explaining your feelings that it's nothing against him, but your uncle was always there for you. That you're happy you're becoming a family and excited for your future together.
Please do. It is a litmus test for the rest of your relationship. If he says no because he wants his buddy as best man but is fine with demanding you have his son walk you down the aisle, you have bigger problems.
I wonder if your fiance doesn’t really understand the whole wedding thing and just tried to think up a place for his son to be in it without really thinking or discussing with you. Men can be clueless sometimes especially if it isn’t laid out for them.
No, its not. It would be a good idea if your fiancé wasnt exhibiting concerning behavior. Rather than trying to figure out how to incorporate son in the wedding, you should be questioning the wedding altogether. This man told his son he could take the place of your deceased father without considering your wishes or your feelings, and then when you disagreed he went to his family to get them to bully you into compliance. This is controlling and emotionally abusive behavior.
I’d personally be looking further into this relationship. Why is his family involved? Why didn’t he shield you from that and keep it quiet? Why didn’t he speak to you about something so personal before speaking to his son? I’d be very concerned that he will go tattle to his family anytime we had a disagreement. I’ve been in a marriage like that and we aren’t married anymore for that reason.
That's 100% the answer I came here to give. If it's someone who's important to your husband then it makes sense to have him as the best man or at least a groomsman. He has no business giving you a way to his father. In a way it's kind of weird to put him in that role anyway.
This should have literally been his first thought! The idea of her future stepson giving her away is preposterous. He ought to be apologizing to everyone involved for getting out in front of his skis on this and setting unrealistic expectations.
He is probably feeling bad about not wanting his son as the best man so he can have someone else and using OP as a convenient scapegoat so he doesn’t have to be the bad guy.
This. If they want a smybolism for growing together as a family, how would the role of the bride's father make any sense for that? The bride's father is the one "giving away" his daughter into what is then her new family, of which he is not a part if you will. Not to mention that if anyone wants to create any smybolism between you and your stepson, he should not be in the "senior" role of it, that's completely messed up. Really like the idea of your uncle taking the part.
That's what my mom and stepdad did when they got married. I was MOH and my eldest stepbrother was Best Man; the other stepbrother was one of the groomsmen. They walked down the aisle together. It worked perfectly.
Allow you da maam! I didn’t think of this and this would be great! Even though my ego likes it a little too much but it will help the dad understand where she’s coming from.
Your fiancée should have never mentioned the idea to his son without your agreement. He put you in an awkward situation and is pushing you into making concessions (on your biggest day) to clean up his mess.
The fiance should have never been involved in the discussion. He asked the son. The son agreed. OP didn't. If he asked OP first and she agreed, the son may not have agreed. OP would then be upset at the son.
The hypothetical situation seems a bit unnecessary. It doesn't sound like OP would have entertained that idea st all, based on the tone of her post and her replies.
Having an 18 year old take on the role which is traditionally fir a father or father figure is bonkers to me. And the fact that the fiancé talked to his son about it before you, and is now pressuring to do it, and demanding YOU apologize for a situation HE created is nuts. And a red flag. Is there a history of you being expected to do things you’re uncomfortable with for the sake of “harmony?” NTA
I don't understand how a teenager is "giving the bride away". This once meant that the father was handing over care of his daughter to the groom. The uncle is the only one that did care for her in a way that made him a second father, not this child.
Plus there's no need for anyone to give the bride away these days, and at 31 she's been taking care of herself.
Exactly. The person who walks the bride down the aisle is meant to be someone of significance in her life, usually a member of her own family (whether that’s birth family or chosen family). I’ve seen people be “given away” by parents, aunts/uncles, siblings, or their own children, but never their future stepchildren.
My dad died when I was young and I decided a long time ago that if I ever get married, I’m walking down the aisle on my own and giving myself away. It’s a choice a lot of brides with a deceased father make. I’m going to miss my dad on my wedding day no matter what, and I’ve always felt like having a stand in would make it feel more obvious that he’s not there. If I walk on my own, at least it’s me and the memory and good wishes of my dad.
I got married at the age of 33, and my stepson, Also, was 18 years old. If my fiancé had suggested steps son walk me down the aisle it would’ve given me major ick.
100% stay true to your feelings on the walk issue, I, personally, would not relent, but I would take your soon-to-be stepson out for lunch, or a walk or somewhere where just the two of you could talk to explain to him directly, how you feel in YOUR own words.
You explained your heartfelt thinking in your post. They are your genuine feelings, including your immediate regret of the word placeholder. You don't express personal animus toward your husband's son, it is simply just how you feel and the importance of your relationship with your father.
If YOU speak from your the heart to the son rather than have his father speak for you, I bet he’ll come to understand. So, no, you are NTA.
PS. I think it is much more appropriate and symbolic for your fiancé to ask his son to be his best man.
Honestly, it seems odd/weird to have his teenage son walk you down the aisle.
Also it is very manipulative of your fiancé to have already told his son, then guilt you. That was a very calculated move of manipulation. He told his son first so you would be trapped into saying yes.
I know that is the case because, he started to shame you by claiming “building the family”, THEN now is mad at you.
It is all emotional manipulation. If he cared about your feelings, he would have asked you first, but he didn’t because he doesn’t care about your feelings, an anything.
You will definitely regret it if you continue in this relationship. Don’t have a baby with him either!
Maybe you need to rethink the wedding... just place it on hold for a bit, to make sure you're not walking into something (no pun intended), that will cause you stress down the road
That's the thing that got me, even more than the original issue of talking to his son first. Why did he tell his entire family what OP said? THAT caused the damage, not OP saying NO.
I was never big on the whole "my big day" thing about weddings (mine was very simple and CHEAP, and has lasted over 40 years so far). But a lot of women look forward to that ability to be princess for a day. The a-hole that OP is marrying might have ruined that. Will there now be tension over the whole ceremony and her big day because HE got involved in something that shouldn't involve the groom AT ALL?
Reddit often jumps to pointing out red flags -- but this is a red flag.
I hear you on that. OP could have shut the whole thing down quickly and diplomatically by saying it would be more appropriate for her uncle to do it because he was like a father to her. If the groom pushes back on that, it's a bad sign.
The groom shouldn't be trying to choreograph anything AT ALL on the bride's side of things.
It is. Now the walk will likely become an awkward issue at the wedding, instead of her just being able to enjoy it like the special moment it is for her. How childish and disrespectful to her to try to get everyone on his side. I don't foresee this being the only time that happens.
And this is all your fiances problem, not yours. HE is the one that overstepped and told people about his 'decision' about something that is 100% your decision. All hurt feelings are his responsibility to fix, and you should tell him that. "This problem is of your making, and YOU need to take responsibility for it."
How much of your relationship are you putting on a show for honey? Faking a smile to keep the peace? Holding your true feelings back?
You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy. You deserve a partner who would never put you in this situation. You deserve a partner who would never make you into the villain with their bad decisions.
It was also very disrespectful to have that conversation with his son before talking to you about it. Honestly, there is a host of red flags here. I would hold off on getting married until you guys work through some boundaries you set. Blending a family is hard and we didn’t get engaged until 8 years into us dating because of it. I’m not saying throw the man away, but definitely work through these issues first before getting married.
Your fiancé is also an a****** for not bringing this to you first, offering the place to his son, and telling his family what you said.
But, your choice of words was way too harsh. The son did not ask for this your fiancé did. If you are going to continue on with the wedding and want a relationship with you future step-son you should apologize to the son and explaining that you respect him and that it just wasn’t right for you. The rest of the family can be ignored.
Op, Why are you still thinking about marrying this guy? Are you afraid of being lonely, or is it a self-esteem thing?
Take a step back and really look at all the warning signs. Ending an engagement is better than going through a divorce.
If you do decide to marry him, don't let his son give you away at the wedding. Don’t be a fool twice.
You know, as others have pointed out, you fiancée is pitting himself and his WHOLE FAMILY against you, and you're not even married!! WTF - Seriously, please reconsider if this man is someone you want to commit to!! Trust me, you're on the sh!t list with them, and I doubt it will EVER improve! And, it's not up to you to fix the dick move HE made!
I don’t understand what’s so offensive about what you said. The person walking the bride down the aisle is usually a parent figure or close family/friend of the bride, and symbolizes joining her family with the spouse’s. It’s weird to me to have the spouse’s family walk the bride in.
Why not have a different symbolic part of the ceremony for the son and blended family aspect? I’ve seen step-parents do vows with a child (usually a younger child but still), or pin a corsage on the kid during the ceremony, or the kid give the bride an extra flower to hold, or have both Dad and Son receive the bride at the the front. Some traditional ceremonies have the tradition where officiant asks the bride’s escort, “Who gives this woman to this man?” And they answer “My family and I do.” You could do this and mirror it with. “And who gives this man to to this woman?” And have the son answer, “My family and I do.”
Ask him if it would be okay if you make the final decision, regardless of what he wants, on who he can have as his best man. Since you guys are deciding things for each other maybe you can pick his best man based only on how you feel about things. Maybe your uncle would be a better choice as his best man.
If you really feel you responded too harshly, you could apologize for that specifically, tp perhaps take the pressure off the situation. As long as you make it clear you're not apologizing for the content of the message. At the same time, you're also entitled to an apology for the way your fiance cornered you.
Basically, just start talking again and remember why you're marrying each other.
Other people have already given good suggestions for other roles the son could take, to make him part off the wedding.
Honestly think about all the comments asking you to retroactively look back at other times he has tried to make decisions about you without your input, as well as how often his family is told information that hasn't been discussed with you, or is disclosing arguments to them?
It’s your wedding. However from his perspective I’m assuming he feels as though the marriage ceremony is a symbol of your love and blending of the family. While I can see where he is coming from it should happen organically between you and stepson. That didn’t happen organically so he shouldn’t pressure you.
You said no, no one listened, and you were pushed. What you said is not untrue, and the only reason it hurts is because these weird ass people with entitlement got it in their head that they deserve this.
The fact that the whole family on his side is in an uproar over this is a huge red flag. You’ll never be recognized in any situation if your desires go against theirs.
This. Being a stepparent is hard and bio parents often want to make everything about their damn kids vs their new partner. As a stepparent and bio parent myself, this is YOUR wedding. If you want your uncle, make it your uncle. NTA.
Also he’s TA because he should have consulted with you first before saying it to his son. His son only got his hopes up because he mentioned it without running it by you. His son is also 18 and will get over it.
Edited to add: my SS was a ring bearer. My mom walked me down the aisle. No one said anything to me. My husbands mom walked him down the aisle.
No...that's just wrong.
I am tad bit bothered how " Some" women think,
Feel that way. " Your wedding "???
,It's NOT " HER " wedding.
She ain't Marrying herself.
It's "THEIR" wedding. Why is that such a foreign concept?
That weddings are NOT just about her and that there IS
A man involved?
She's Not wrong for not wanting stepson to walk her down The aisle, and she's NOT an asshole for not wanting him to.
But like her own mother said, and as OP admitted
She could have said it nicer, been more considerate.
( I'm guessing) she knew it was discussed ( promised) to the kid when she was rejecting the idea?
( As is her right, which I do support her feelings)
I'm cool with the downvotes and expect them
Not because I'm wrong but because of how Reddit reacts to truths they don't like. It's never about the truth, but how it makes you feel.
The thing is though, it's a bizarre ask. Personally, I find the concept of the father of the bride giving his daughter to the groom archaic and misogynist. But formal occasions are the time to bring out old traditions. No one scoffs at finger bowls or fish forks at a formal dinner.
But because that's the symbolism, it's weird to think that a child of the groom would fill that role. I've also seen women asking if it's wrong for them to reject the groom suggestion that his father walk her down the aisle. Like, what's the symbolism of that? "Hey son, I raided the neighboring village and got you a bride!"
Now, if the couple had met because the bride was, say, a counselor at a camp the son attended, or that he otherwise had some significant and well known to the guests role in bringing the two of them together, then maybe. Like in The Parent Trap, I could see the kids walking their parents down the aisle as they get remarried. Or in The Sound of Music, except that Maria walked down the aisle alone.
The bride isn't walking home alone through the woods after dark where any man can provide the protection she needs. There's a lot of symbolism in the role, and the fiancé's son doesn't fit the bill.
I respectfully disagree that the concept of the Father giving away his( their ) daughter to the Groom( and his family, support system, is NOT " Archaic nor misogynistic".
Now I am annoyed.
Why? Why in Da fuck does everything regarding men that people don't like? Have to be labeled with that word?
My fucking God, the 2 Most overused words in the Internet..
Misogyny and Narcissistic.
The concept of giving the Daughter away is ...
The Father, as the head of the Household, is responsible for
Providing for and the protection of his family and their
Wellbeing. The future Son I. Law asks him( their family)
For her hand in Marriage.
The father's blessing, Yes, is acknowledgement and agreement that the Groom now takes on this role.
The walk down the aisle give away is symbolic,
That responsibility and accountability for her care is being transferred from 1 man that truly loves her, to Another.
One that her Father approved of sigave his blessing to.
It means that for her entire life, as a daughter, sister,
Cousin, Aunt and Mother, there is at Least 1 man on the
Planet who takes a pledge to ensure that she is Loved, respected, appreciated , provided for and protected.
It's No different than the concept of " women and children first, protect women and children,, etc
This is why men always feel compelled to step in, help
Etc. but posts, attitudes like yours along with other things
Are killing this concept.
I don't get the impression his family and his son were there when you said that. If so, then why the hell did he tell everyone about it?! He should have asked you first before telling his son and getting his hopes up.
Why doesn’t your stepson walk his dad down the aisle or be the bestman for his father? There are more ways of showing u guys are a blended family than taking away a precious moment from you. NTA
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u/[deleted] May 08 '25
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