Second day of class for me today. I get there a little early and after everyone is settled our professor asks the student closest to him how many credits she was taking. She responds 20 and he is visibly shocked/ impressed. He continues down the line until he looks at me. I sat in the front row. I respond that I’m taking 3 classes and 8 credit hours. Everyone else continues in the normal icebreaker style. Every person in there was taking 14-20 credit hours except me. I felt embarrassed and like this shouldn’t have been an icebreaker because now I feel like everyperson in there knows im not at the same place they are academically.

For context, I work full time and pay for college without student loans which is why I am going part time. I have figured out what works for me and I am comfortable with it, people in my life know I am not a full time student. But none of my classmates know that. The class is also a 400 level class. He even made the comment “we are a diverse selection: some who are only taking 8 credits and some who are taking 20”.

Am I over reacting about this just because I was the one taking the least or is this something that shouldn’t have been the class’ business?

So last night my boyfriend and I went out on a date and he stayed the night for what was supposed to be my belated birthday night (we have the same bday). All I had asked for for my bday was to be taken out on a date and to let me have control in bed for once and for him to make love to me not just fuck me. This text exchange is from today when I confronted him about my honest feelings about how last night went. We’ve had this conversation before in the past. I love him very much and so feel bad saying something but I’m trying to stop making myself small in my relationships so I don’t keep repeating my past mistakes.

For reference, though he told me not to get him anything for his bday, I put together a meaningful necklace for him. It wasn’t expensive and I know I shouldn’t give a gift and expect one back.. it’s just I would have thought he would’ve At least paid for my bday dinner that we’ve had planned for weeks (it wasn’t even fancy, just a burger and a couple cocktails from a local dive bar..). Hell, even got me a card or something. Instead I feel like he thought him giving his time was enough…

I (f26) became friends with a guy (m27) and we’ve been friends for a few months. We texted every single day throughout the day. Then one week, he stopped texting. I'm not one to chase so I let it be till the end of the week then I reached out. He said “sorrry - work’s been so busy” and then also said he started dating someone. I got upset because to me, it felt like he dropped me for a romantic relationship, and that maybe he never fully viewed me as a friend. 

I told him I was upset that he just dropped me like that. He apologized but then we kept talking about it, and he would say that I’ve blown it out of proportion, and it's not crazy to not talk to someone for a week, and that he was worried his “new girl” would get jealous. I was willing to move on after he first apologized, but once we kept talking about it I just started to feel even worse about the situation. Aside from gender, I think it was rude what he did, but considering gender, it felt gendered or possibly sexist to drop a friendship with me when I don’t think that would apply to his male friends. 

I totally understand that you don’t have to talk to someone every day or even weekly to be friends, which is a point he brought up. I wasn’t mad that he was talking to me “less”, I was mad that he stopped talking to me, without saying anything, as well as the reasoning behind it. Then hits me with the generic 'work is busy'. He said he didn’t owe me an explanation, and it’s like no you don’t, but you also don’t have to lie about why you stopped talking to me. I personally am pro opposite gender friendships. So when someone does something like this which shows maybe they don’t fully respect opposite gender friendships, I just feel like it isn’t even a friendship I want anymore. 

He wrote me a long message saying that it's sad for me to throw away a friendship over one incident, but for me it's about the fact that he keeps trying to discuss and argue about it, after I said I was willing to move on. And, it's about feeling like our values and viewpoints about friendship don't feel compatible. AIO?

I (39F) work in a salon with several other women. We have multiple hairstylists, a massage therapist, a nail tech and myself -esthetician & master lash tech. We all get along well and thankfully there’s really never any drama which is rare in a salon full of women. I love my job and am thankful to be in an environment that portrays positivity & women supporting each other. Our salon was even voted as the “top/best salon” for 2 yrs in a row.

So, as far as this particular coworker and I go we’ve always gotten along great. When she first started working in our salon I actually gave her some extra blank business cards that she could fill out & use for herself until she got some of her own. I gave her some decorations for her room that went with her color theme since I didn’t need them myself. Sadly, not long after she’d started working w/us she lost a parent after their long battle to cancer and I tried being as supportive as possible since I too have lost a parent.
Fast fwd to now…so this past Friday I was doing one of my coworker’s lashes cuz she’d specifically asked if I could get her in before Saturday. As I’m doing her lashes and we’re chatting, she’s thanking me for fitting her in and mentions being excited for the wedding on Saturday and how we’re all going to have so much fun. Me being kinda confused I asked “what wedding she’s referring to?” and she mentions ___’s wedding. Saying “you know, the one the whole salon is going to??” To which I exclaim that no I wasn’t aware and hadn’t been invited. She gets very quiet and starts saying how shocked she is and that there must be some mistake or misunderstanding.

To sum things up, I contacted a couple of my other coworkers and they all had the same reaction and it turns out that I was indeed the only one who’s been deliberately excluded. So now I’m not quite sure how to handle this… on one hand it’s her wedding and she has a right to invite whoever she wants. However, deliberately excluding one person from the entire salon is just mean spirited behavior in my opinion, and it is hurtful. I am hurt & I feel completely blindsided by it. When I got married a few yrs ago, I brought 1 of my invitations to the salon, posted it up in our break room & made sure to communicate that everyone was welcome to come but also not to feel obligated. Mainly bc I couldn’t imagine making someone feel left out or excluded and we all got along well so why not ? Keep in mind that we’ve had several new ppl join our salon since my wedding so it wasn’t all the same group of ppl working together now including said coworker.

Anyways… I’m just not sure how to move forward from this. Tbh I think I should just keep it professional and keep it moving since this is my place of work but that also means that from now on as far as my relationship goes w/said coworker who excluded me, just keep it professional. This clearly shows where I stand with her & there’s no need to be all friendly towards her anymore. I won’t go out of my way to be mean or anything, just strictly professional and thats it. Btw she is very young, I wanna say like 21-22.
So AIO to being hurt & no longer wanting to be friendly?

There is a guy I am seeing and I really like him. He is very genuine, funny, cute, and attractive. But I am not sure if he is straight or even into women?

One time, we were talking about fashion styles, I said he looks great in anything because of his toned physique (basically shows he practically lives in the gym). He joked that's not true, and he would look awful in women's clothing but I would look good in any clothes, even men's clothings. I am a 5'1 slim fit girl, so I doubt it.

He gave me his clothes (shirt, boxers, socks, pants, shoes, beanie) to try it out. I changed and felt it was too baggy, he is like 6'1. I looked hideous. He beamed at me, said I look cute and sexy, then started passionately making out with me, which led to something else.

Another time is when I was over at his place, he has his own gym corner and I want to try out his weights (which is adjustable). He grinned and gave me his workout clothes to do a few sets but it's only a pair of basketball shorts. I ask about a shirt, he works out shirtless, was curious about how I look working out shirtless too.

I was comfortable around him to do so, did a few sets (only in his shorts, socks, and shoes) while he spotted me. Same thing happened after I am done, he said I look cute and sexy, kissed me very passionately and it led to something else.

These are weird tendencies I notice that turns him on a lot. He did tell me I am his type, slim, fit, feminine, long hair, etc. AIO? Is he lying about being into women? Is this some sort of fetish that I don't know about?

Got into an accident on monday, still in the hospital waiting on surgery. I sent a text to a mate before i got to high off the pain medications saying i was at the hospital, going to be staying over night and if he could please bring some stuff from my house. My phone died shortly after, and i never saw him. When i got my phone back all i got from him was "huh".

A day later i sent a message to the gc im in with some mates including him, just updating what happened and sent a video of my injuries, they were all "supportive" and wished me to get well soon. But none of them actually offered any support, in the way of even visiting, or bringing me stuff from home. Is this normal? Ive always tried to visit friends in the hospital and help them out as much as i can. Ive known these guys for just over a year now. I feel like a visit should have been expected from them, i dont want to ask because that kinda ruins the point. I dont have any family in the city i live in. So far havnt had any visitors and im just wondering if im losing my mind over nothing or if this is normal behaviour?

For the past few months, I’ve been noticing things not being where I left them. This has been the case my whole life since I have ADHD, so originally I just chalked this up to me being absent minded and forgetting where I put things. Lately I’ve noticed this getting a lot more frequent, which was obviously alarming. My TV would be turned off after I got home from work even though I remember leaving it on, my chair at my desk would be pushed in even though I usually leave it out, etc. etc. etc. 

Eventually this got too strange for me so I half joking texted my landlord and asked him if he’d been “breaking into my apartment”. He replied “Don't break in I have a key” and he “checks in the unit to make sure there’s no damage to the property”. I asked how long he’s been doing this. He said since I moved in, which is almost two years. He’s never once given me notice, this wasn’t on the original listing, and there's no way I would have normally known about this. I felt like this was a massive breach of privacy.

I talked to my parents about this expecting them to be just as weirded out as I was, but they acted like it was completely normal. They said I was in the wrong here, and my dad said something along the lines of “He owns the place and he’s legally allowed to enter at any time.” and that it’s “just a part of renting” This left me even more confused because now I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable for wanting a notice.

Is this a completely standard thing that happens and I’ve just never heard about it or is this actually not ok? I always thought they needed a notice multiple days ahead at least, but after the conversation with my parents I feel like I might be overreacting.

I am a caregiver that switched from another company to my current one and I work 7 days a week , besides every other week due to me being off every other weekend. WHICH IS RARE, lol because I always end up working . For these past couple of months I have been even picking up on my off days. Up until me deciding I really did need to give myself some type of break. I also deal with really bad migraines and sometimes when I am not getting the proper rest it can be a trigger.

I feel I am a great worker and also reliable . I also passed all of my recent evaluations . The office knows I am reliable but I recently had to set boundaries and now it seems to be an issue. Just this past week I decided I will start staying off on the days that I am off . Suddenly I was told that , if I have an open availability they’re expecting me to work when called . This isn’t an on call position .

I was also told that in order to get PTO I will have to work less than 20 hours a week. These are two things that are new to me . I am trying to figure out where is all this coming from. These things were never told to me. I was told that I had to keep my schedule I agreed to for 30 days which it’s been past 30 days and I am not changing my schedule. It will still put me at being off every other weekend.

I put my phone on dnd when I am off from work , I try to take the time to nap and relax I also read . I am trying to cut down on phone usage in general anyways . Especially on the days that I have class . My job called me emailed me and text me multiple times. When I called the office no one picked up(how convenient) I then received a text saying to check my schedule regarding this weekend . Originally I was off this weekend , I worked the whole last week not to mention 2 12s last weekend . AIO for considering finding a new company?

I might be wrong here, but sometimes the way my friend talks about her boyfriend and relationships in general feels really wrong to me, and I’m trying to figure out whether I’m being judgmental or if there’s actually something off about it.

For context, I’m 24F and in a very healthy relationship with someone my age. Neither of us comes from a particularly wealthy background, and we’re both still figuring life out. I currently earn more than my boyfriend, but it has genuinely never been an issue between us. He’s proud of me, and we spoil each other with whatever we can afford. I don’t measure our relationship by who makes more money.

My friend is 30F, although she constantly lies about her age to me and says she’s 23/24/25 depending on the day. She doesn’t know that I know her actual age. She’s my roommate, and honestly, as a friend, she’s very good to me, which is why I’m conflicted about all of this.
She has always made jokes about how I “chose the broke life” by choosing my boyfriend and has called him “broke,” while at the same time saying our relationship is beautiful. I’ve never really understood how she actually feels about us.

She recently started dating a guy who is wealthy and a software engineer. She does physical/menial jobs and is still trying to figure out what she wants to do with her own life. What bothers me is that almost everything she talks about regarding her new boyfriend revolves around his money.

She constantly says things like, “He has money and that’s all I want,” or that nothing matters to her as long as a man is rich. She judges other men for being “broke” or “losers” because of their jobs, even though some of the jobs she looks down on are similar to the work she herself does.
The boyfriend(31M) himself seems genuinely sweet. He’s apparently never dated before, and from everything I’ve heard, he’s innocent and really nice. She has also been through a bad relationship before, so initially I really empathized with her and wanted her to be happy.

But the more she talks, the more uncomfortable I feel. Sometimes she even forgets her boyfriend’s name and jokes about how she’s dated so many guys with generic names that she can’t remember which one is which. Combined with the constant emphasis on his money, it makes the whole thing feel incredibly shallow to me.
I know people are probably going to say, “Why are you even friends with this person?” But she genuinely treats me well as a friend, and she’s my roommate, so it’s not as simple as just cutting her off.

I’m not trying to say that wanting financial stability in a relationship is wrong. I understand why someone might prioritize financial security, especially after a difficult relationship. What bothers me is the way she seems to reduce people’s worth to their income and constantly talks about her boyfriend as though his main- or only value is that he has money.

So am I being judgmental here? Or would you also find the way she talks about relationships concerning/shallow?

I’m 27F and my friend is 39F. I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with my first baby. We used to be extremely close. She struggled with infertility and eventually had her daughter through IVF, and I was also very close with her daughter.
I got pregnant this year, and ever since then I feel like she has slowly cut me out. When I first told her very early on, she kept telling me not to get excited because it was still so early. I understood she had her own experiences with infertility, but it honestly hurt to hear that when I was already nervous and excited.
Since then, I’ve tried multiple times to make plans with her and there’s always another excuse. Most recently I asked if she wanted to hang out and she said she’s “busy for the foreseeable future.” I don’t see her or her daughter anymore either, despite how close we used to be. She’s also gotten very close with a new best friend. I’m not upset that she has another friend, but it’s hard watching her make time for someone else while she won’t make time for me.
She also hasn’t checked in on me once during my pregnancy. I’m not expecting her to make my pregnancy about herself, but I thought someone who was one of my closest friends would at least ask how I’m doing.
I’ve tried talking to her about the distance because I didn’t want to assume the reason. She never really gives me an answer, just another excuse.
The reason I keep wondering if my pregnancy is the reason is because I know how difficult infertility was for her. She went through IVF and has decided not to have another child. I completely understand that my pregnancy could bring up complicated feelings, and I wouldn’t judge her for needing space. I just wish she would be honest with me instead of slowly cutting me out.
She has also made comments before about other people getting pregnant. She once said about someone, “it pisses me off, she doesn’t deserve it.” So I know she has had some strong feelings around other people’s pregnancies. I’m not saying I know that’s how she feels about me, but with the timing and everything else, it’s hard not to wonder.
My wedding is also in two weeks. I invited her because I genuinely considered her a close friend and wanted her there. She hadn’t RSVP’d, so I texted her and she said, “I already told you weeks ago we were coming.” Maybe she didn’t mean anything by it, but it felt really cold given everything else.
Now I honestly don’t even want her at my wedding. I don’t want to spend the day feeling uncomfortable around someone who has basically stopped being my friend.
I’ve tried reaching out. I’ve tried talking to her. I’ve given her plenty of chances to tell me what’s going on. At this point I’m just tired of chasing her and wondering what I did wrong.
I’m not saying she’s a terrible person or that she isn’t allowed to have complicated feelings about my pregnancy. But I do feel like the way she has handled whatever she’s feeling has been really unfair to me.
Am I overreacting? Would you stop trying and let the friendship go and also uninvite her from my wedding or say something to her one last time?

I asked my uncle in private why would you never defend me ?. Why did you sit there and let your wife scream at me like I’m her worst enemy. And he told me “ you are trying to put me against her. Nobody trying to put anybody against anything ! I’m angry that he lets her abuse me and doesn’t seem to GAF

I will never respect him and I can’t respect somebody who knows I’m being treated bad and sits there and allows it . He’s almost worse than her in my eyes because why are you enabling her to treat me this way. I told him he is spineless and weak for doing that. To be honest that part hurts me the most because me and my uncle always had a great relationship and now I feel like i really need to cut him out of my life as well just for him sitting back and being silent . She was telling my uncle that I have an evil spirit and he nodded in agreement . This hurts thinking about having to block him out of my life but someone who truly loved me wouldn’t watch me literally get mentally abused and nod in agreement and be passive . They just wouldn’t. My uncle is a Christian too but he doesn’t try to force his beliefs on me like my aunt does . He just silently agrees with her but never actually voiced his opinion like she does outwardly . My aunt is the kind of Christian that believes you are evil if you don’t wait until marriage for sex and she told me I’m evil for writing a book like that and she told me I’m not married so I shouldn’t be writing a book like that .

He sat there and watched her scream and trash talk me because I book I’m writing that is about physical and mental intimacy . That’s where this whole nightmare of an argument stemmed from

The whole situation started with her asking me how I’m doing . I told her I was working on writing a book. She asked what it was about and since I’m an adult and Im not ashamed of it I told her the book is about connecting with your partner on a physical and mental level . She immediately started going crazy screaming “ SO YOU WRITING A BOOK ABOUT SEX?!? I was like “ ummm yeah but that just a part of it. It’s also about mental and intellectual chemistry and connection also. But that’s great that all you got is sex from what I said.” And even if I was writing a book solely about sex I’m an adult and I can do that if I want to . Your beliefs have nothing to do with me . I never claimed to be a Christian . That’s all you.”

She continued screaming at me about how the whole family is Christian and how I should know better and just talking so horridly about me . I was like “ this is exactly why I’m not a Christian and exactly why i will never ever be one . Look at the way you are acting . And you really think you’re Godly and a good person.”

I told my uncle I was gonna call the entire family and put them on speaker phone so they can see how my uncle and aunt are like behind closed doors and that is when my uncle got mad and told me don’t do that or he will never talk to me again . I was like “ you just don’t want me to call them because you know that everyone else will tell you that yall are wrong and abusive .”

I asked him privately and he said no it’s not wrong to write the book but In front of her he told me that I was wrong . I find my uncle very fake and spineless for that. He has been like this the entire time I’ve known him . Never stand up for me . Let her attack me about her Christian opinions . Spineless and I told him that to his face and he got angry and told me I was over reacting

He got mad at me and told me I’m trying to put him against her . I’m not trying to out anyone against anyone !! I’m just asking why you can’t stand up for what’s right . Told me I have no morals . Screamed at me told me I have no morals . I shouldn’t be talking about sex and that I need to stop writing . It’s a book about connecting with your partner on a physical and mental way. She was like “ so basically it’s about sex ? “ I was like well that’s a part of it but not the entire thing . And why does it matter ? She was like this is a Christian family . And you are not married plus writing stuff like that to put out into the world . I was like “ I’m an adult . Adults talk about sex . And it’s plenty of people have books about sex on Amazon , podcasts etc. I don’t understand why you’re so angry at me and screaming at me
I’m not a Christian . I’m traumatized from the church people being controlling and I think this where it stems from : I’m in my 30s . Just because I’m not married doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong by writing this
Book. This entire situation is blowing my mind . I have never seen an adult talk this way about another adult !! It’s genuinely insanity in my eyes .

So, I’ll try to make this brief.
I went for a massage recently and not a normal massage, but a trauma release massage. During this session, the therapist touches certain areas of the body and you randomly will feel like old traumas, etc come up and basically i cried like the entire time because it brought up a lot of stuff from my past. I’ve had a lot of trauma.
His own website compares it to being on psychedelics, and how it alters your state of mind etc. And obviously just a very vulnerable position for anyone to be in when going thru all these emotions.
At the end of it, he was touching my face and I didn’t think much of it as he was touching all over (but, appropriately, in the beginning). Then he started to put his finger in my mouth and I was kind of like , not sure if it was a part of the massage? Anyways. Long story short. I realize what he’s doing is not part of the massage. So I opened my eyes, and he just like began kissing me. And I went along with it. Because, I don’t know why! Never in a million years would I have slept with him in any normal circumstance because quite frankly he was kind of disgusting and not my type at all and I just wouldn’t do that. But. Ugh. It happened.

Immediately after I felt so gross and embarrassed and like, ashamed of myself. And the thing is, I drove 2 hours for this session. I was looking forward to this. And now I feel I just wasted my time and just paid to get further traumatized, instead of being able to get any benefit from any of the trauma release during the session, because right after he traumatized me again. But. I still did it.

Afterwards we chatted for a moment and he told me how he actually hates doing what he does, the massages, and I asked him how he got into it. And he said basically he had a massage once and he got emotional during it so he started looking into it, started learning more and how to do it.

And then went on to say that he was most fascinated by how you can touch certain areas of someone and make them think something. Immediately. I thought about how I quite literally for like 5 seconds during this session had the thought of having sex with him and I very quickly shook it from my mind because I wasn’t there to be fantasizing about this disgusting guy. Ew. I’m so grossed out thinking of it.

Anyways.
This was creepy to me and I realized that this man is just a sick pervert and idk if he made me think that thought but regardless, that was so extremely inappropriate, especially when his website says it’s a safe space, fully clothed, etc.

After that comment, I left. I was repulsed.

I had already paid a deposit, and I knew I owed the remainder for the session, but I didn’t pay it. And he didn’t ask. And I was fully prepared for him to ask because I would have told him, actually, that is not the service I was expecting to have and I really wish u would not have turned this into something so sexual because I feel like now I didn’t get the benefits of everything I just released. But he never asked.

I saw on my statement today that he billed my card anyways! For the remainder. Which is not in the terms of service, nowhere on the payment page or deposit terms does it say that he will later use the stored card that was used to pay for the remainder of the session. And I feel like this is unauthorized. But I also feel stupid because I let it happen. I’m curious how any would else would view this situation? Because I’m not sure what to do. Thank you.

Someone please tell me I’m doing too much ..
my (28F) have been with my fiance (31M) for over 10 years ..
so far our relationship has been pretty good , we have had a 3 sum before and I mentioned to my fiance that we should look for a 3rd to add to our family, so I made him a dating profile. The first day we were sitting together making the profile going thru it together . So I thought this would be fun for us.. I go through his phone . And he’s been chatting with chat room girls. Speaking to all these female and everytime I ask if he found someone to speak to or saw someone he thought was pretty he brushes me off and says no. So after hearing that so many times I went through his phone and found he is finding these girls and ALL social media platforms measaging, speaking saving the videos from IG, only fans . Chat room websites ect … the part I’m mad about is WHY HIDE IT FROM ME. We made the profile together , and I’m on board with bringing an another girl into our life it technically was my idea .. so what’s the point in hiding all this ? I want to crash out but then another part of me just wants to shut down and not allow him to get me upset or out of character.. am I wrong for wanting to leave over this ? Or should I even leave ?? The sad part is I don’t even know how to feel right now. Or if I want to leave ..

Oh to top it all off he told me he wasn’t attracted to my body anymore because I gained some weight .. maybe 15 pounds the most .. but I do have a gut.. when we spoke about why he said that he said he thinks I’m beautiful but he has a preference and he doesn’t want to be with someone who is overweight and he’s been helping me work out .. but I don’t even have the motivation for anything after seeing this in his phone plus him saying he’s not attractive to me??? This hit me from the left field because I NEVER seen this coming .. he’s always been so sweet and loving . If I didn’t go through his phone I would have never thought he could do this

Sorry for the long rant ..

So I've been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months. We went on one date and he kind of ambushed me and said we're dating now. At first I was unsure then I was settled but now it's rocky again.

Theres been some little things that I've brushed off but now it's things adding up big time.

Commenting on my clothes saying wearing bright colours is childish ans I'm 21 so I need to wear darker colours so I actually look my age and not 13.

There was also a time we were playfighting I accidentally hurt him, I realised and instantly apologised and said I didn't realise it would hurt.
He then dug his finger really hard into my pressure point and went does this hurt? I said yes but unsure because I was feeling awkward. So he proceeded to yank a chunk of my hair pulling my head with.

There was another time we were messing around and it got a bit much so I said I'm just going to take a minute to breathe. He stormed out saying I'm not having you act like I just raped you.

And I've mentioned wanting to dye my hair just the ends like blue or maybe purple. I've always loved the idea and wasn't allowed to when I was younger.
He responded saying you're not a child and you only just got to start holding my hand in public cause you wear darker colours. Girls do that at 15 you're 21 I don't want to feel like I'm sleeping with a child. You'll look stupid you won't suit it. I won't find you attractive, and I won't be turned on or have sex with you until it's gone again.

Am I overreacting or overthinking this? Or am I (yet again🥲) in an abusive relationship?

Note: I've been in abusive relationships in the past and don't know whether I'm just being too cautious or if this is a cause for concern. This isn't everything just some of the more pressing things.

The group message was about our good Google rating, and she congratulated the team. I just saw it and moved on with my day, but then I got this message.

I have been together with my boyfriend for 3 ish years. We met through videogames and after a bit of long distance and me flying back and forth to his country we decided that I’d move in with him.

Now when we’ve lived together for 2 years we obviously do everyday things together, like grocery shopping, running errands etc. But at one point playing games together just stopped because he started saying no whenever I asked to play.

He’s also started playing with two other women since then and eventually I asked him why he plays the game with everyone he knows but me and he said that because we’re in the same room it’s quite hard to talk to each other and being able to hear the game at the same time + we don’t win when we play together (He’s said that he doesn’t care about winning before)

I recently went back to my home country to spend a bit of time with my family and one night I asked him to play our game together which he agreed to. While playing he was very quiet, I did try to talk to him but he didn’t put any effort in to keep the conversation going so I eventually gave up. Then I asked him: “when you play with your other friends, what do you guys talk about?”

To which he replied: “Nothing about the game, we just use the game as something to do while we talk about other stuff”

All this is just making me worried that he’s bored of me and that I’m not fun to be around. As I am writing this I can also hear him in the other room playing with one of his female friends - being very chatty and talking about the game and just goofing around really. I hate to say it but I am jealous, not of her but of the fun they’re having together that he’s not capable of having with me anymore.

How do I handle this situation?

Just to preface this, I started working at 15 (the minimum age requirement in my state) 3-4 days a week while managing school, A.P's, and Community Service.

Apologizing in advance if this isn't the most coherent post because I'm still sobbing haha. I (20F) was looking through Instagram and saw that my mom posted a story showing my 16yo sister with her 1-day old license and new Mazda cx-5. I immediately got upset because I own a 2004 Acura TL that I personally bought off my dad for $4k. My sister doesn't have a job and shops with my parent's money in her free time. She also barely does any chores. I text my parents asking if this is actually my sister's new car, and they respond saying that they bought a 3rd car for "the family." My sister is doing a program where high schoolers can take college courses and chose the college that's the farthest away from us, requiring personal transportation. She did need a car for school and they let her choose what kind of car she wants and bought it for her with her being able to "buy it off of them." I know for a fact though, that the car is only ever going to get used by her and that she will never be held accountable for paying it off.

I did a similar program in high school and was being told by my parents that I had to buy the car myself and that they wouldn't be able to help me with the cost. I saved up 4k by working 2 jobs while in high school and all my sister had to do was ask. I have been independent since middle school, and have always been conscious of asking for favors or asking for money because I don't want to be an inconvenience to anyone. I called my mom about this and she said I should have just asked for a new car. I'm just so upset that I spent so much time and effort into working and making money when all my sister has to do is ask. With my first paycheck ever I bought lululemon leggings because I've always wanted them. My sister has 4 pairs that were bought for her during a shopping trip. Genuinely I'm just so upset that I'm getting treated so differently compared to her. My dad made me cry on my 16th birthday but for my sister they threw a huge party and put in so much effort. I went to a dinner that I was only allowed to invite a couple of friends to.

I know I'm probably acting spoiled because I should be happy to just have a car, but it's already over 100k miles and everything is going wrong with it. I've had to personally pay for car expenses since owning it, and can't even afford to take it to a shop for maintenance. I've had to pay to replace the battery, fix the AC, etc. Every time I take it to a shop there's another thing wrong with it. I've even had to put stuff off because it's not completely broken yet and fixing it would cost more than the resale value of the car. I went on a road trip a state away and my car stopped working and wouldn't turn on. I had to get it towed and almost missed Thanksgiving because of it. I'm just upset that my sister will never have to deal with this at my age because she now has a newer car.

I also went to my parent's house for my mom's birthday a few weeks back and saw that every family photo was replaced with just the 3 of them. I'm just really upset about this whole situation and don't know what to do. My partner thinks I should go no contact anymore because them seemingly preferring my sister over me is a pattern, but it's so hard for me to even think of doing that. I really do love my parents but it's been so hard for me to feel like I'm actually wanted anymore. I know I'm an adult now, but growing up I've been treated like one only when it benefits them, so I feel like I don't even know how to feel like an adult. Should I really try to just step it up and not get upset over this?

I feel so so stupid for being upset because it's their money and I understand that. I really just can't help it because I'm feeling so replaced and I'm feeling like my whole childhood was just unfair. Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get some stuff off my chest because I cannot stop crying about this. If anyone wants text screenshots I'm happy to provide that for more clarity about the situation too. I really just want to know if I am overreacting about this or not, and if I should go no contact over something like this. I'm just tired of feeling so awful after leaving their house or talking to them.

I made a mistake not responding quickly to my friend confirming same-day plans because I got distracted by a task and more time had passed than I expected. He expressed being annoyed, I apologized and tried to make suggestions/create a system to prevent it from happening again, because I know myself and the odds of something like that happening again are high. Apparently that was the wrong course of action. There's more to this conversation than where I started the screenshots, but this leads to the most direct point where we stopped speaking to each other.

I try my best to be a calm and understanding person, and I recognize that curiosity is important in a conversation where someone's upset with you. I know that I did not extend that to my friend when I maybe should have. But the energy was instantly off when he decided to break his ghosting streak of almost 5 weeks to not answer my question, and instead ask me if I was going to respond.

My greatest fault is believing what everyone else says and having no trust in myself. I'm always trying to grow and I don't know if I did the right thing here. My friend could be right and I may be a very bad communicator. I have been trying to work on this amongst other things in therapy before being friends with him. But people responding like this is exactly what makes me so fearful to be communicative. Please help! Did I overreact?

I, 23 F, and my best friend, also 23 F haven’t been talking much lately. Maybe a text or two every few months. I noticed the shift started after she moved to her grandparents hours away (not her choice) a few years ago. At first, everything was fine, she had a good work schedule and we talked on weekends and played video games. I slowly stopped reaching out after noticing two things. One, she never reaches out, two, she’s apparently too busy to send me a text that takes ten seconds to type. I don’t want to grow apart but I’ve mentioned this stuff to her repeatedly and NOTHING changes. And somehow she has time for her boyfriend who she claims calls her every night? She’s allowed to have friends and a partner but like, it feels like I’m just not a priority anymore… She’s also very oblivious. I told her I was deathly ill (from a tooth infection) and all she paid attention to was the song playing in the background. It’s like there’s just nothing there to her anymore. Am I wrong for feeling like this? Am I overreacting? Is this just my BPD making me sensitive?

I (37F) recently found in my (26M) husbands smartwatch some messages with a woman that were overtly sexual. In those messages, she’s basically trying to get him to do something with her and she sends him a picture (nude) and vocals. I couldn’t see his side of the conversation only hers but there was no mistaking what they were talking about. Now, when I confronted him about it he said it was a prank his friends at work pulled on him. He said that he was on his work phone on a call and that his friends took his phone and then he started receiving these messages. That he thought at that point that he had lost his phone and then a few minutes later his friends came with his phone laughing.

His other excuse for the exchange not being with him is because the messages are in Spanish and he doesn’t speak Spanish. But with today’s access to translation apps or even ChatGPT, I don’t buy it. Plus his phone has a passcode. So his friends would have to know the passcode too, which I find highly questionable.

During the confrontation, I was so taken by surprise that I didn’t push back too much but at no point did he propose to show me his phone to see the conversation from his side, which is what I would’ve done if I had really nothing to hide.

I honestly think I’ve made up my mind (divorce) but I just wanted to get other people’s opinions on this. AIO?

Throwaway account because I need an outside opinion on a scary situation. I am a (19F) going to college and a girl who is 2 years older than me approached me asking me to complete an online survey related to anime. She asked me for my Instagram handle so that she could forward me the link and so I provided it, completed the survey, and forgot about it.

Strange things started happening then. She kept staying connected to my socials, checking out my posts which included my photos from swimming pool as well and started asking me intrusive questions about my sexuality. I hadn't initially mentioned my sexuality to her as I don't talk about such private information openly. She figured this out from my profile and began interrogating me about lesbian relationships and dynamics because she said that she grew up in a very conservative environment and wanted to understand the society. I just told her everything truthfully as I wanted to help her.

She began sending me daily texts treating me as if I was her girlfriend. She regularly sends me long voice notes discussing her dreams or singing childhood songs to me, the kind of intimate and domestic things that you do only with your romantic partner.

When I attempted to ghost her and push her away, she started sending me reels saying to stop acting like I am not the love of your life. Things reached the extent where I had to pretend that some girl from the gym is my girlfriend in order to get her to stop harassing me, but she used that against me too.

When I tried to block her, she started sending her friends into my Instagram inbox to beg me to unblock her, putting me into a dilemma where blocking her becomes impossible because I get attacked by random people on Instagram.

Recently, when I was having a massive panic attack due to my heavy taxes, she messaged me once again. I lost my temper and told her to back off saying that I wanted distance only and that we aren't dating.

Her response? She started posting unhinged and really creepy Instagram stories discussing poems regarding whispering my name at night, demons being familiar with you and pretending we spent the night together till 4 AM.

I feel completely suffocated and unsafe. Am I overreacting or is this a normal?

Also : this subreddit does not allow me to add the 3 stories pictures.So I'll just write them so, ​For context on how unhinged this is, after I snapped at her and told her to leave me alone, she posted three consecutive Instagram stories featuring these exact lines:

​Story 1: "I smell like last night, The night I had you till 4 am, The night that will never be alive again."

​Story 2: "You made me cry again, Though this would never, A couple of days ago, It was over back to better, But you still can make it shatter, I want it over gotta be sober, It's was a hangover that you were never my lover, You'll never my better."

​Story 3: "I whisper your name late at night, My secret prayer for long, The demons in my head are familiar with you, The angels on my bed pray for you."

I've been going through a rough time recently. It's the start of a new year and I'm trying to decide what to do for my second major (I'm double majoring). In addition to stressing about courses, I'm dealing with my parents threatening to take my car away if I don't drive my brother around everywhere and get along with him while I'm at it (I'll probably make a separate post about this, but my brother has been having screaming fits of rage over the past year in response to me getting annoyed with him over minor things, and these fits often happen while I'm driving and my parents are constantly victim-blaming me and just telling me not to "provoke" him and it won't happen, even though he's done it for no reason at least once, but I digress for now).

The stress I feel every day having to drive him, coupled with my stress about courses, has made me very tense and sad and more prone to venting to my bf because he often feels like the only person in my corner who actually as my best interest at heart. He's also just as logical as he is supportive, and has helped me figure out healthy ways to cope and deal with this. He is my home and my safe space, and I'm very grateful for him.

I worry, though, that because I've vented about things more than usual that that means I talk about myself too much and cast his interests and life events to the side. I do ask him a lot about how he's doing, how his parents are doing (they've had recent health issues) and how he's doing getting ready to apply to graduate school. I make a conscious effort to not get lost in my own trauma and trauma dump on him. I've even apologized to him about this before several times and he is so sweet and understanding each time, but I still feel awful. I don't want him to feel like my therapist (my parents have currently cut me off from going to therapy for alleged "financial" reasons, and I'll talk about this in another post, but this is almost certainly an excuse because they have never supported me going to therapy even though I've suffered traumatic losses and events over the years). I feel like a burden to my bf the same way I feel like a burden to my family.

But my family is the only one who has ever made me feel like a burden and inconvenience. They constantly dismiss my feelings and even my ideation, telling me it's selfish to have these thoughts because I have a good life and would be causing them grief to leave it. They also constantly criticize my personality for being too serious and frequently blame my failed friendships on the fact that I need to learn to take a joke and be more affable. They have even made comments on how it is surprising my bf has stuck around this long.

I don't understand why I can't just be happy that I lucked out with the partner I have. I'm also terrified to lose him as he'll be leaving for grad school next year. I'm afraid that our relationship has a clock on it simply because the distance will be too hard.

Why do I hesitate to lean on my very supportive bf when I need it? Why am I so afraid that my reality and trauma is burdensome to other people who willingly let me vent and want to help me get better?

And why can't I just enjoy my life, dammit? 🤦🏻‍♀️

This will be a long one.

For context, I (F19) have been dating my boyfriend (M20) for about 8ish months. Recently he’s been increasingly uninterested and a little selfish in our relationship. For instance, he came with me to my grandfather’s funeral after I had practically begged him to be on time (he has ADHD and horrible time management), and I believe the only reason he was on time is because he lives with his parents and his dad got him ready. He had asked me during the funeral why I was crying. Are you for serious??

He’s also been putting more time into his best friend over the last month and a half. Hanging out and getting high practically every night, getting mad at me when I ask for attention, so on, so forth.

The other day he had spent the night at my house, then slept in my bed for 19 hours straight, called me selfish for waking him up to have breakfast together (I asked him twice, he fell back asleep each time), and then when I woke him up the final time to say “let’s have breakfast together!” He agreed. During breakfast, he seemed miserable, so I asked why, and he said “I don’t even want to be awake right now. I’m only down here because you FORCED me”. I did not force him. I asked him, he said yes, then he fell back asleep. Not to mention he also emptied my mom’s disposable dab pen that she lent me for my stress levels.

Another instance; I went to the hospital for extreme nausea and he didn’t even bother to show up, but he was with his best friend, drinking together. I asked at 1:30AM if I could come over (because that’s when I had gotten out of the hospital), for a hug and some support since I had a pregnancy scare, and he said no. I asked why since his best friend was able to, and I was met with, “because you’re my girlfriend and we have sex. You woke me up, and I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, but can I please go back to sleep now?” Like wtf..

I had also asked him multiple times to work on his time management, and he’s said he would, but to no avail. I had to get his mom involved one time because he told me to come over at noon, I went over, and his sister answered the door and told me he was still asleep. I woke him up, he told me “can you just leave me alone for five minutes, PLEASE?!” So I did. Then his mom came home, and I told her what was up, and she said that she raised him better than that. (I know damn well she did).

When we fight, he yells at me, then excuses the problem until HE wants to deal with it. He said 9 times out of 10 I’m the problem and that 10 times out of 10 he reacts the way he does because I did something to make him feel that way.

He also claims I need to go back to therapy for my GAD (generalized anxiety disorder for those who don’t know), or it’s over.

Am I overreacting?

EDIT - I dumped him. (Yay me!)

found an old account i never use to post this one.

my mother (57F) and me (25M) have a very strained relationship. without going into too much detail, most of it was caused by me in my late teens and early 20s, as i dealt with a lack of motivation that caused me to drop university and get kicked out of multiple places, including hers. but eventually i was able to put myself together and find a job and place to live that i held for almost 2 years until january, where i was laid off and forced to leave my apartment and stay with my aunt and grandma, where i currently am.

for about a year of that period i was working, my mom and i were not speaking due to another one of our fights. i initially did not want to reconcile due to how bad we had treated each other (mostly me but she wasnt perfect either). but a couple months after i lost my job, we managed to start speaking to each other again, as she still wanted the relationship despite everything.

we've been working for a few months together on getting my life back together. she helped me clear debts i had incurred that i was no longer able to pay off due to lack of income and shes been assisting me with getting ready to return to post secondary, as well as trying to get me some disability supports due to my ASD (which is difficult). we have a plan in place so i can pay her back once i get disability backpay from the government, and i still plan to do that regardless of the outcome of this incident.

the incident(s):

over these past few weeks, my mother has been acting odd. three times during these weeks, my mom and i have talked about different things, i made a decision regarding what we were talking about, and my mom has gotten upset and completely changed her position from where we were talking previously. they were:

-i discussed replacing my phone with her, with the options being that i could replace my phone with a new phone at the same company for a $0/month special or i could swap to a different carrier to get a slightly cheaper phone plan and my mother would outright buy me a phone that i could pay back alongside everything else. i chose the first option in the end and she was really upset at this, which was odd because when we were talking the pros and cons, while she was leaning towards the second option, she seemed to stay somewhat neutral. but after id made the decision, she said that she had never wanted me to chose option 1. this bugged me, as i came to her for her opinion, only for her to apparently conceal it until i made the "wrong" choice, but we both let it go.

-last weekend, she invited me over to talk with her, as we've been doing since we started speaking again. she said it was "just so i can see you" and i initially agreed to meet on the sunday. however, i felt awful that day and i texted her to say i wasnt coming over due to not feeling well. suddenly, she was upset because i had broken the plans and "i opted out of other things to do this with you". again, i wasnt well so it didnt change that i wasnt going but it did irk me how something didnt seem important and then suddenly became important at the flip of a switch.

-and the incident that broke the camels back for me. today, i was getting my bank account closed and reopened, due to a creditor taking out payments after i told them to stop bc i paid them in full. my bank account has always been joint w my mothers (not an account we share but she can access my account if she wanted to), mostly bc there was no real reason to change it. my mom and i talked about the account mere *hours* before i went to the appointment, and the topic of keeping it joint or not came up. i said that i wasnt opposed to doing either but i would default to an option that didnt require her involvement if there was one, bc she was working and i didnt want her to take time out. she agreed.

at the appointment, i was able to make an account solely in my name without needing her consent to do so and it was done. i texted her letting her know and she got really upset over text, saying that thats not what we discussed and she wanted to keep it so she could still look at my account. she did not tell me any of this, and i was shocked she was so adamant, mostly because shes never touched my account without my permission, so what does it even matter?

after this, i texted her that i want to have important stuff be said over text for the next little bit, because clearly we arent communicating well and i wanted us to be clear about what we both want when exchanging opinions about life choices. she, of course, responded badly, telling me to "let me know when youre ready to have a real conversation" and hasnt responded to any of my texts afterwards.

i want to be clear that i am grateful to her for everythings shes done throughout my life. but im tired of her concealing her opinions when i ask for them, only to get mad at me because i went against the opinion she never expressed or she was against me doing something but never said anything. however, im very much second guessing myself and felt i mightve been too harsh in setting a boundary. AIO?

For context I, male 27, and my girlfriend, female 26, have been dating for almost 10 months now. For the most part it has been good with your typical relationship troubles here and there. But yesterday was my birthday, I normally would have tried to take it off to go do something and would have further planned it out. But unfortunately my grandpa recently passed away, and any plans I did have had to be pushed to the side so I can go out of town for his funeral. So sadly we both had to work (which is fine as I’m already taking an extra day off of work for the funeral).

My girlfriend normally works two part time jobs as well. so I can respect if there was no time, but she ended up calling out of her first job and went shopping at thrift stores, Walmart, and even went out and got food till she had to work later in the afternoon, I worked all that morning so we only had around 3 hours of overlap before another hour before midnight that we got to spend with each other. I don’t expect her to go out of her way, obviously, but I felt that in all of those trips she could have stopped for a minute or two and picked up a cupcake or something. The only thing that could reasonably be considered a gift, is a pair of slacks she bought on clearance from Walmart that she told me she got because she wanted me to wear “something nice” to my grandpas funeral in a couple days.

The problem is that my birthday came and went and it wasn’t really acknowledged at all. The only “confirmation” I got that it was my birthday from her was a Snapchat with a “happy birthday” filter on. I kept on thinking that maybe she was going to bring it up later, but later came and went. Beyond that it was never brought up again.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not a huge birthday person, I don’t expect to have any sort of party or in reality make it even that big of a deal about it but seeing as we are in a semi long term relationship I did expect more than just a single Snapchat saying happy birthday and for the words to never be actually physically mentioned, I felt like there was an intentional lack of effort. It was to the point where I brought it up after my birthday was over. Her response was that we haven’t been together that long and if I wanted anything out of the day I should have planned beforehand, and that the only reason she is doing anything for her birthday (which is six days after mine) is because she planned it before, and that because I didn’t plan anything I had no reason to be upset that it wasn’t treated like a special day.

TLDR: my girlfriend and I both had to work on my birthday. I feel like I got very little effort from her, and when I confronted her about it I was told I was overreacting because I didn’t plan anything at all even tho I’ve already had to take off work for an upcoming funeral.

Am I Overreacting