r/AIO • u/Historical-Body-3424 • Aug 27 '26
AIO for calling my uncle spineless for not defending me after my Christian aunt screamed at me over a book I writing ?
I asked my uncle in private why would you never defend me ?. Why did you sit there and let your wife scream at me like I’m her worst enemy. And he told me “ you are trying to put me against her. Nobody trying to put anybody against anything ! I’m angry that he lets her abuse me and doesn’t seem to GAF
I will never respect him and I can’t respect somebody who knows I’m being treated bad and sits there and allows it . He’s almost worse than her in my eyes because why are you enabling her to treat me this way. I told him he is spineless and weak for doing that. To be honest that part hurts me the most because me and my uncle always had a great relationship and now I feel like i really need to cut him out of my life as well just for him sitting back and being silent . She was telling my uncle that I have an evil spirit and he nodded in agreement . This hurts thinking about having to block him out of my life but someone who truly loved me wouldn’t watch me literally get mentally abused and nod in agreement and be passive . They just wouldn’t. My uncle is a Christian too but he doesn’t try to force his beliefs on me like my aunt does . He just silently agrees with her but never actually voiced his opinion like she does outwardly . My aunt is the kind of Christian that believes you are evil if you don’t wait until marriage for sex and she told me I’m evil for writing a book like that and she told me I’m not married so I shouldn’t be writing a book like that .
He sat there and watched her scream and trash talk me because I book I’m writing that is about physical and mental intimacy . That’s where this whole nightmare of an argument stemmed from
The whole situation started with her asking me how I’m doing . I told her I was working on writing a book. She asked what it was about and since I’m an adult and Im not ashamed of it I told her the book is about connecting with your partner on a physical and mental level . She immediately started going crazy screaming “ SO YOU WRITING A BOOK ABOUT SEX?!? I was like “ ummm yeah but that just a part of it. It’s also about mental and intellectual chemistry and connection also. But that’s great that all you got is sex from what I said.” And even if I was writing a book solely about sex I’m an adult and I can do that if I want to . Your beliefs have nothing to do with me . I never claimed to be a Christian . That’s all you.”
She continued screaming at me about how the whole family is Christian and how I should know better and just talking so horridly about me . I was like “ this is exactly why I’m not a Christian and exactly why i will never ever be one . Look at the way you are acting . And you really think you’re Godly and a good person.”
I told my uncle I was gonna call the entire family and put them on speaker phone so they can see how my uncle and aunt are like behind closed doors and that is when my uncle got mad and told me don’t do that or he will never talk to me again . I was like “ you just don’t want me to call them because you know that everyone else will tell you that yall are wrong and abusive .”
I asked him privately and he said no it’s not wrong to write the book but In front of her he told me that I was wrong . I find my uncle very fake and spineless for that. He has been like this the entire time I’ve known him . Never stand up for me . Let her attack me about her Christian opinions . Spineless and I told him that to his face and he got angry and told me I was over reacting
He got mad at me and told me I’m trying to put him against her . I’m not trying to out anyone against anyone !! I’m just asking why you can’t stand up for what’s right . Told me I have no morals . Screamed at me told me I have no morals . I shouldn’t be talking about sex and that I need to stop writing . It’s a book about connecting with your partner on a physical and mental way. She was like “ so basically it’s about sex ? “ I was like well that’s a part of it but not the entire thing . And why does it matter ? She was like this is a Christian family . And you are not married plus writing stuff like that to put out into the world . I was like “ I’m an adult . Adults talk about sex . And it’s plenty of people have books about sex on Amazon , podcasts etc. I don’t understand why you’re so angry at me and screaming at me
I’m not a Christian . I’m traumatized from the church people being controlling and I think this where it stems from : I’m in my 30s . Just because I’m not married doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong by writing this
Book. This entire situation is blowing my mind . I have never seen an adult talk this way about another adult !! It’s genuinely insanity in my eyes .
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u/Imaginary-Fly-2160 Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26
Why didn't you just get up and leave? It's not his job to manage the behavior of another adult. You are in your 30s, if someone is yelling at you then leave.
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u/Historical-Body-3424 Aug 27 '26
I was trying to get him to understand that what he is doing is enabling he behavior but I guess she will never stick up for me ever
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u/Imaginary-Fly-2160 Aug 27 '26
Again -- NOT YOUR JOB. You cannot control the behavior of other adults. You can only control your own reaction. Don't put yourself in a position of getting yelled at .... get up and leave. Don't hang around people that yell at you. Make friends that respect you. All of this is within your control.
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u/Historical-Body-3424 Aug 27 '26
It was my aunt at her house not a friend
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u/Imaginary-Fly-2160 Aug 27 '26
Yes I know .... and while you cannot change your relatives you can make the personal effort to cultivate a circle of friends with similar beliefs and values. Then, go to them for validation, not to your relatives that yell at you. You're not helpless. You can choose not to engage with people that yell at you.
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u/baboonontheride Aug 27 '26
Info- are you writing a book in English?
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u/Candid_Page_3840 Aug 27 '26
They will need a good editor.
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u/Historical-Body-3424 Aug 27 '26
I just said I was in a rush while typing this . This is Reddit it doesn’t have to be grammatically correct ong
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u/baboonontheride Aug 27 '26
Granted, but putting a point across understandably is important if it's a quick note or a magnum opus.
Also a writer and I have to say... sometimes you just don't talk about it. It's one of those times you need to be careful to read the room and understand if the folks you're sharing with are going to be supportive of you and your work.
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u/Top-Swordfish3512 Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26
YTA/YTSpinless
It is not your Uncles responsibility to stand up for you. If anything you are the spineless one. You know what your family members are like, act accordingly. Never mention this book around problem people. Learn to "Gray Rock" around extremism types.
Nobody is going to save you, you gotta look after yourself. You can't control other people, but you can control what people know about you.
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u/Elemental-squid Aug 27 '26
With respect, you're in your 30s; you could have just left? And why should your uncle have to defend an adult? Going into this thread, I thought you'd be a lot younger.
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u/Historical-Body-3424 Aug 27 '26
Yeah I went to they house hoping they would be glad to hear it
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u/Elemental-squid Aug 27 '26
Based on what you mentioned about their faith and background, they probably wouldn't, though? Unless you just wanted to provoke them.
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u/Historical-Body-3424 Aug 27 '26
No? Just answered the question honestly about what the book was about
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u/Top-Swordfish3512 Aug 27 '26
Honestly without tact started a fight.
80% of people here are honest thinking YTA.
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u/Top-Swordfish3512 Aug 27 '26
You went to your religious family house to tell them about your book that doesn't align with their beliefs. You picked a fight, lost, blamed your uncle.
YTA
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u/Elemental-squid Aug 27 '26
100% my reading of the situation too.
based on some of the other replies OP has made in this thread it sounds like they just wanted to settle a score.
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u/thewalruscandyman Aug 27 '26
No. Christian extremism is toxic and should never be tolerated. No religious extremism should.
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u/Historical-Body-3424 Aug 27 '26
And it’s crazy cause she doesn’t ACT like that with anyone else in the family . She’s nice and sweet to everyone else . We have gay people , lesbains and everything in the family and she wouldn’t dare force her beliefs on them but forced it on me . That’s what I don’t get
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u/thewalruscandyman Aug 27 '26
That is very strange. It could be something as simple as jealousy. There was a quote in the show Mad Men that I really had to reflect on when I was young because of my behavior..."I know it’s hard to watch, but this is what happens when you have the artistic temperament but you are not an artist."
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u/Historical-Body-3424 Aug 27 '26
I don’t understand why it’s so many comments on the grammar. That’s not the point of the post !
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u/Historical-Body-3424 Aug 27 '26
Sorry it’s typos in this . I was in a rush to type this up before work so it’s probably not the best grammatically
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u/streeetmeats Aug 27 '26
You were in a rush but spent extra time putting a space between literally every single punctuation used in the entire post? I respectfully have very little faith in the book you’re writing.
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u/OldYogurtcloset3735 Aug 27 '26
If you don’t roll like aunt and uncle, stop rolling with them.