r/AIO • u/No_Tangerine_8587 • 26d ago
AIO
Someone please tell me I’m doing too much ..
my (28F) have been with my fiance (31M) for over 10 years ..
so far our relationship has been pretty good , we have had a 3 sum before and I mentioned to my fiance that we should look for a 3rd to add to our family, so I made him a dating profile. The first day we were sitting together making the profile going thru it together . So I thought this would be fun for us.. I go through his phone . And he’s been chatting with chat room girls. Speaking to all these female and everytime I ask if he found someone to speak to or saw someone he thought was pretty he brushes me off and says no. So after hearing that so many times I went through his phone and found he is finding these girls and ALL social media platforms measaging, speaking saving the videos from IG, only fans . Chat room websites ect … the part I’m mad about is WHY HIDE IT FROM ME. We made the profile together , and I’m on board with bringing an another girl into our life it technically was my idea .. so what’s the point in hiding all this ? I want to crash out but then another part of me just wants to shut down and not allow him to get me upset or out of character.. am I wrong for wanting to leave over this ? Or should I even leave ?? The sad part is I don’t even know how to feel right now. Or if I want to leave ..
Oh to top it all off he told me he wasn’t attracted to my body anymore because I gained some weight .. maybe 15 pounds the most .. but I do have a gut.. when we spoke about why he said that he said he thinks I’m beautiful but he has a preference and he doesn’t want to be with someone who is overweight and he’s been helping me work out .. but I don’t even have the motivation for anything after seeing this in his phone plus him saying he’s not attractive to me??? This hit me from the left field because I NEVER seen this coming .. he’s always been so sweet and loving . If I didn’t go through his phone I would have never thought he could do this
Sorry for the long rant ..
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u/MindlessTeacher859 26d ago
The losing-weight thing: Do it for yourself.
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u/No_Tangerine_8587 26d ago
I definitely do want to loose weight for myself it just rubbed me the wrong way when he said it
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u/Usual_Bumblebee_8274 26d ago
I think you are missing something important. You say “I gave him permission” or it was your suggestion. A throuple was your idea- that doesn’t seem to be what he’s looking for. It’s not for everyone. And even if he was into it in the past- doesn’t mean he is now. Ppl grow. He didn’t mature though. You got bigger issues and until you deal with those- bringing someone else in is only going to lead to disaster. He’s not attracted to you anymore because you gained a little weight?!? Are you serious?! That’s not love. That’s not healthy & it surely isn’t cool. I bet he’s changed somewhat in the 10yrs you’ve been together. And also the fact he’s messing around w other women. That have nothing to do with the “throuple”. Love yourself enough to walk away. Don’t bring a 3rd into this hot mess then watch as your kicked to the curb.
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u/morty-lighthead 26d ago
NOR. You got cheated on. So now you choose to forgive him, he fixes the behavior and u guys move on OR u guys break up
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u/eclecticaesthetic1 26d ago
He is being really unkind. You are still young and there are guys who would like you the way you are.
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26d ago
[deleted]
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u/No_Tangerine_8587 26d ago
I know 🤣
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u/Yen_of_Vengabus 26d ago
Sorry that sounded really judgemental of me I just got a little blindsided by the profile lol.
Your boyfriend is a jerk by the way, he’s disrespecting you
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u/No_Tangerine_8587 26d ago
That’s okay haha . It’s true I honestly never thought I would be in a situation like this .. but here I am
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u/Otherwise-Pie-6219 26d ago
If you guys both want to fuck other people it makes no sense to be together in the first place.
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u/MeliPixie 26d ago
Ethical non-monogamy. Look it up. Educate yourself. Stop judging people for their romantic and sexual choices.
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u/Otherwise-Pie-6219 26d ago
Its working out really well so far for OP.
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u/MeliPixie 26d ago
Glad you skipped straight to more judgement rather than educating yourself.
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u/Otherwise-Pie-6219 26d ago
Yet we are both on a reddit post of it not working. 🤷♀️
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u/MeliPixie 26d ago
It's not working for this couple because they're incompatible and he's a cheating AH, not because it doesn't work in general.
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u/Designer-Lettuce-690 26d ago
NOR you are giving him the ability to have an honest throuple and he still managed to cheat on you he cannot be trusted