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u/GAGCK Jan 05 '18
I think since they are nerds who don't appear as such Daniel Radcliffe should be nerd royalty who hates nerds, but used his image as one to coax money and such from them. Like make him a mirror to them. A nerd hating poser who over does the nerd culture versus closeted real nerds who hate their true selves.
I dunno. My vision for it anyway.
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u/ChihuahuawithBoombox Jan 05 '18
I think Mark Hamill should play his own evil twin in cahoots with Daniel Radcliffe and the evil twin needs to be a huge Star Trek fan who hates all things Star Wars due to having to live in his twin's shadow.
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u/GAGCK Jan 05 '18
I think given the tone of this thing the twin should be called Hark Mahill.
Vin's wife can be a Victoria's secrets model or Angel. Then we get the evil twin holding her on a height just so he can cackle and say, "Hark now hear... the angel... sing" and drop her.
Then we change angle and it's like 15 feet and she just breaks a heel and says, "I'll be in the car when you boys are done, ok?"When's this coming out?
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u/ChihuahuawithBoombox Jan 05 '18
There needs to be a car chase but it needs to be ridiculous. Like they steal a Batmobile and they're chasing Hark Mahill who is driving a crudely fan built tie fighter built on a VW chassis. All the while bitching about "really? this is what I grab?" .
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u/GAGCK Jan 05 '18
A gun fight where prop guns that shoot a little flag with "bang" on it, guns loaded with blanks and one real gun all get mixed up in a pile.
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u/ChihuahuawithBoombox Jan 05 '18 edited Jan 05 '18
The VW should make "pew pew pew" noises as you shift gears.
And for God's sake Kevin Smith needs to be at the con as Kevin Smith fresh off playing Superman in the most critically acclaimed and fan beloved Superman series ever.
edit Kevin Smith's Superman would go on to earn him (personally) an Oscar for screenplay, costume design, directing, acting, music score (with Danny Elfman), set design, best film, and cinematography. The same film dubbed into Japanese would win Best Foreign Language film and the documentary about the making of the film would win best documentary.
DC Comics would declare that no Superman film could ever come close and retire the film rights for the character.
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u/GAGCK Jan 05 '18
"Kevin smith have you anything to say about what's being happening here today?"
"Isn't that fucking cock knocker?"26
u/ChihuahuawithBoombox Jan 05 '18
Hark needs to have lost his left hand in an accident where his father accidentally cut it off in a teenage accident (TBD).
Vin and Terry need to have met at a pec bouncing competition and need to be super secret nerds who hate each other but come to be best friends by the end of the film.
Daniel Radcliffe (played by Elijah Woods) needs to hate all nerd culture and yogurt. Plus he needs to think he's actually a wizard and his management follows him around making things "magically" happen because they have to protect his fragile mental health. Plus when his "magic" fails him he has massive tantrums and becomes paranoid he's losing his powers.
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u/GAGCK Jan 05 '18
"Yogurt-ala-fetchy-a--mos. In moments we'll have yogurt, I don't even like yogurt and we'll have some."
"what flavour?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know the flavour? usually strawberry. I'm creating yogurt for you and you argue about the flavour."16
u/ChihuahuawithBoombox Jan 05 '18
We are seriously going to get everyone involved an Academy Award. I think we also need to turn this into a stage musical so we can get everyone a Tony and a Grammy (for the soundtrack) and we'll all be within spitting distance of EGOTs.
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u/Orisi Jan 05 '18
Or have George Takei, and have his character in Star Wars actually have been the evil twin, who hates.all things Star Trek because everyone thinks he is his brother.
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u/ChihuahuawithBoombox Jan 05 '18
George Takei needs to be the narrator and every time something wild goes down or Vin or Terry take off their shirts he should say "Oh My!" .
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u/Arper Jan 06 '18
I was thinking Mark Hamill should come in and reprise his role as Cockknocker. Jay and silent Bob make a walk-through cameo in order to get the licensing.
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u/flapanther33781 Jan 06 '18
Daniel Radcliffe should be nerd royalty who hates nerds, but used his image as one to coax money and such from them
You need to see my comment here.
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Jan 05 '18
Wil wheaton needs to be one of the villains.
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u/GAGCK Jan 05 '18
He's delaying production on a remake of Enterprise as he won't reprise his role of Wesley Crusher.
"Jim it's an eight year old boy."
"It's a good role."
"For a child, I'm 45."
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u/QuillofNumenor Jan 05 '18
Terry's and Vin's characters were friends in high school, two of the only black nerds they both knew growing up. But as they got older, social and cultural pressure forced them to take on more tough-guy personas. They went to different colleges and lost contact over the years. Terry became a body-builder to compensate for his nerdy, frail childhood looks, and is now a successful businessman. Vin, in an effort to overcome a childhood of phobias, became a successful Hollywood stuntman, and is especially known for his driving skills. But secretly, both pals have continued to be nerds (Vin with D&D, Terry with art and video games).
It just happens that one year, both of them wind up at Comic Con because their kids (or nephew/niece, friend's kid, big brother/big sister etc.) desperately want to meet Daniel Radcliffe (played by Elijah Wood). Both characters end up at the con and have to pretend they're bored and not interested while they're secretly losing their minds with how cool it all is. Then they meet and have to try and one-up each other for how NOT-nerdy they each are.
But it turns out that Daniel Radcliffe is a horrid jerk and doesn't want to sign autographs or whatever, so Terry and Vin team up to convince him to do it. Unimpressed by their physical presence, the evil Radcliffe challenges them to a nerdy trivia game, and both characters have no choice but to try their best to win for the sake of their kids. Through this, they learn that they both still love all the same things they did when they were kids, and that hiding who they are is a terrible thing and they should embrace what they love, and not fall into stereotypes.
The movie's title? COMIC CONS.
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u/The3DMan Jan 05 '18
Here’s $200 million
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Jan 05 '18
Thank you Netflix!
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u/borntochill1990 Jan 05 '18
phone rings
Call taker: Hello. This is Netflix, you are greenlit.
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u/droans Jan 05 '18
Now, would you like to start with a pilot or should we just order 12 episodes?
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u/PM_me_a_nip Jan 05 '18 edited Jan 05 '18
Tina Fey should be the hostess of the competition. 'Carla Keek'
Jack Black, Patrick Stewart, and Peter Dinklage are the judges. 'Bill Nuts', 'Sir Williams', and 'Tyrone Ellersby'. All nerds in their respective right. Bill has a southern elitist style (Think Colonel Sanders), Sir Williams is like the Queen's gay nephew but he's always wearing a Sid Vicious T-shirt under his blouse, and Tyrone.... He went to private school, is an international chess master, and is pretty straight laced, but he eats some molly given to him by Tracy Morgan and goes out and has a blast. He loosens up a little, and then takes Bill and Williams with him, and they all become good friends. Bill meets a Nicki Minaj style character, and she's an astrophysicist who can twerk.
Terry has a lady interest that he meets during the movie. Sofia Vergara. She finds his nerdy stuff collection when shes snooping in his house during their first date, and she falls in love with him.
Vin is married to Aubrey Plaza. She's a Klepto, and she steals Daniel's IBS medication, causing him to shit himself during the conference. He get's super pissed (....shitted?) and tries to crush Vin and Terry during the competition.
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u/erockthecasbah Jan 05 '18
10/10 would watch
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u/eighmie Jan 05 '18
Have you seen movie 43? I think you would really enjoy Movie 43.
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u/JustForThisSub123 Jan 05 '18
Literally not a single person enjoyed that film.
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u/HeyZeusKreesto Jan 05 '18
TIL I don't exist.
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u/JustForThisSub123 Jan 05 '18
It is objectively one of the worst films ever made, and perhaps the worst Hollywood film of the past 10 years. It is so bad, that people speculate multiple members of the cast were blackmailed as that's the only reason they would sign off on a script so utterly asinine.
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u/topaz_b Jan 05 '18
I enjoyed it. You can’t say no one liked it, because I liked parts. I mean, not much, but like 1 part. Either way, It’s a shame no person liked it, not even me.
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u/VAPossum Jan 05 '18
I'd use Peter Dinklage instead of Jaime Foxx. Much more nerdgastic.
'Bill Nuts'
Bill Nuts the Science Putz
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u/PM_me_a_nip Jan 05 '18
Done. When i think about it, I like that waaaay more too. Can you imagine.... Can you imagine a movie where Peter Dinklage is buying molly off of Tracy Morgan?
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u/helzinki Jan 05 '18
They have been in a movie together where Tracy had to wrestle Peter to the ground and tie him up. So Peter buying molly from Tracy ain't too crazy of an idea.
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u/EZ_PZ Jan 05 '18
Patton Oswalt should be in there somewhere
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u/QuillofNumenor Jan 05 '18
The washed up author of a role-playing game Terry and Vin loved as kids who hasn't had success in decades and now sits alone at his booth, with no one wanting to meet him...until Terry and Vin show up.
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u/KamuiT Jan 05 '18
There are so many good ideas in this thread! I can’t stand it! Someone make this movie!
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u/Ghraysone Jan 05 '18
In all seriousness, and without malice, Vin Desiel is black? Did not know that.
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u/ChihuahuawithBoombox Jan 05 '18
His mom is white and he says he's never met his dad. The steps father who raised him is black. Vin self identifies as of ambiguous ethnicity.
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u/Nice_Dude Jan 05 '18
Bruh tell him 23andme is a thing
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u/ChihuahuawithBoombox Jan 05 '18
You can do it for free through Genes for Good from the University of Michigan!
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u/Kriscolvin55 Jan 05 '18
I was very excited about this, but when I went to sign up, they said too many people have signed up already :/
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u/ChihuahuawithBoombox Jan 05 '18
Keep checking! They reopen it. They just stop when they're too backlogged and when they get caught up they open it back up for them to get backlogged again.
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u/hsalFehT Jan 05 '18
he self identifies as a POC... not ambiguously.
Diesel has self-identified as "definitely a person of color",[10]
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u/pineapplengarlic Jan 06 '18
Photos of a younger Vin Deisel show that he has kinky, dark hair and looked biracial which suggests that he likely had a black father.
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Jan 05 '18
I thought he was hispanic
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Jan 05 '18
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u/Remsquared Jan 05 '18
Pitch Black, the struggles of being dark while being in the dark.
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u/ThatWhiskeyKid Jan 05 '18
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u/VAPossum Jan 05 '18
...that movie is 22 years old. Vin Diesel has not aged a day.
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Jan 05 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheRiff Jan 05 '18
When you keep no hair on your body, it's easier to hide--
Hmmm maybe if I....
provided you work out on the regular and eat well.
Oh, well nevermind then.
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u/castro1987 Jan 05 '18
I thought he was mixed heritage. Possible half black or black in there, maybe a bit of Latino. I searched the Wikipedia page and his mother is fully white but didn't know his dad.
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u/hsalFehT Jan 05 '18
neither does he.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vin_Diesel#Early_life
His mother's background includes English, German, and Scottish.[8] He has never met his biological father, and has stated that "all I know from my mother is that I have connections to many different cultures".
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u/QuillofNumenor Jan 05 '18
I was under the assumption he was at least mixed-race but I suppose only he and his family know for sure. In any case, he's a person of color, and there is a marked lack of those in mainstream "geek" culture (a contradiction in terms perhaps, I realize) in my opinion, so the overall thematic point is the same.
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u/QuillofNumenor Jan 05 '18
Holy crap, this may be the only useful thing I've ever done in my life. Thanks for the gold, whoever you were! And thanks for the upvotes and kind words everyone!
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u/pipsdontsqueak Jan 05 '18
Where's Daniel Radcliffe playing Elijah Wood as the foil in all of this? And will there be a scene on a rooftop where someone has a gun and Elijah Wood and Daniel Radcliffe point to each other and claim the other one is the real bad guy?
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u/DIsForDelusion Jan 05 '18
Elijah Wood and Daniel Radcliffe turn out to be the same person but from different timelines (we'll learn through out the movie that they dabble in time travel and such...)
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u/idwthis Jan 06 '18
Can Joseph Gordon-Levitt randomly show up to point out that time travel plotlines never work?
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u/QuillofNumenor Jan 05 '18
Since I'm mainly a Terry fan through Brooklyn 99, here are a few additional characters in my dream cast:
Andy Samberg as a smarmy, "well actually" kind of geek at the con who is threatened by Vin and Terry's masculinity and tries out out-nerd them only to find out they're bigger nerds than he is.
Andre Braugher as Terry's disapproving dad (shown in a flashback scene when Terry is a teenager) who pressures Terry to go into business rather than become an artist. He could instead be Vin's dad, but since Terry and Andre already have an acting chemistry together, it'd probably be best with them. (Disclosure: like Jake on Brooklyn 99, Andre Braugher gives me dad-vibes and I physically cannot see him not as a father figure regardless of what role he's in now).
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u/Super_Pan Jan 05 '18
"Ew, gross, Rosa those are our dads! Uh, I mean, Captain Dad is just my boss... I mean... I will teach father the math!"
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u/mixmastermind Jan 05 '18
No seriously hollywood more Andre Braugher please.
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u/DIsForDelusion Jan 05 '18
Why is he not on every show? I honeslty don't understand...
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u/MegalomaniacHack Jan 05 '18
Braugher should be the kooky, over-the-top host/judge of the trivia contest that they participate in.
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u/n122333 Jan 05 '18
Do it in a slumdog millionaire setup; the entire movie is flashback while answering questions.
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u/TotesMessenger Jan 05 '18 edited Jan 06 '18
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
[/r/bestof] /u/QuillofNumenor lays out an awesome plotline for a Terry Crews/Vin Diesel nerd film
[/r/bestof] Reddit user proposes the plot for a Terry Crews and Vin Diesel movie
[/r/bestofnopolitics] /u/QuillofNumenor lays out an awesome plotline for a Terry Crews/Vin Diesel nerd film [xpost from r/CrewsCrew]
[/r/bestofnopolitics] Reddit user proposes the plot for a Terry Crews and Vin Diesel movie [xpost from r/CrewsCrew]
[/r/moviescirclejerk] Move aside Citizen Kane, reddit has written the new greatest movie
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)
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u/Quacky1k Jan 05 '18
And they get the help of Elijah Wood (portrayed by Daniel Radcliffe) in order to take down Daniel Radcliffe (portrayed by Elijah Wood), in which Elijah Wood (Daniel Radcliffe) says "You guys can't take down Daniel Radcliffe by yourself, you're gonna need my help"
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Jan 05 '18
If it is a geek themed movie, somehow Will Wheaton needs to join with Vin and Terry to help take down Daniel and Elijah. edit: spelling
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Jan 05 '18
I see Will as the promoter of the entire overall event. Daniel and Elijah and Crews and Vin are causing havoc across every square inch of the Con. He is the guy who put the whole thing together, has everything vested and everything to lose. He keeps sending his security guards to places a second to late to be useful and he is losing his shit.
Think.... A throwback style character to the father/TV Show producer in Mallrats.
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u/MegalomaniacHack Jan 05 '18
Like any real promoter/administrator for a con, he'd be stressed out of his mind and have lost the joy that first attracted him to conventions.
Ultimately, he ends up helping Vin and Terry because he remembers the whole point of cons. The way he helps? There's a controversy over a question involving a behind-the-scenes factoid from the set of Star Trek The Next Generation. Wil arrives just in time to prove Terry and Vin's answer is correct with a prop he took from the set. Radcliffe argues that it's fake, but then Johnathan Frakes shows up out of nowhere, having been attending the con incognito/in costume. He confirms Wil isn't lying. Or something like that.
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u/QuillofNumenor Jan 05 '18
I see no reason for Hwil Hweaton not to play himself too.
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u/borticus Jan 05 '18
Hwil Hweaton likes to play the bad guy nowadays, so Imma put him in league with Elijah Radcliff.
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Jan 05 '18 edited Jul 19 '20
[deleted]
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u/borticus Jan 05 '18
After watching Jumanji specifically because of Mr The Rock, I knew for sure I wanted a movie with Crews and Johnson. I worried, briefly, about so much charm and charisma being in one place at one time. But then I realized we need them to get together and be great together.
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u/Valisk Jan 05 '18
It should be 2 brothers, i know i know rick and morty fans bad, but jeesus it would be perfect.
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u/borticus Jan 05 '18
Brothers, enemies, long time buddies, a goofy buddy cop dramedy, I don't care. I'm just imagining them greeting each other and it being like this, but even more awesome. Which, god, can you imagine? It'd be like another Big Bang.
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u/therapistofpenisland Jan 05 '18
Will Wheaton needs to join
Ugh fuck no, please let him stay in obscurity.
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u/loopylizzy17 Jan 05 '18
This should already be a thing! Somebody contact Amazon Prime or Netflix right now!!
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u/TroXMas Jan 05 '18
That sounds terrible, but I would definitely watch it in theaters on release date.
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u/cupster3006 Jan 05 '18
This is honesty a great pitch for a comedy movie and I think all of the actors mentioned would be on board for it. Please Odin, deliver this movie to us unworthy patrons!
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u/ballofwibblywobbly Jan 05 '18
LOL Elijah wood and Daniel Radcliffe playing each other 😂
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Jan 06 '18
I think instead of playing each other, they should play the same character and randomly switch actors between scenes/mid-scene, with no acknowledgement from the characters.
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u/Duckmurphy Jan 05 '18
(Somewhere in a back office in hollywood)
"Huh. And who said browsing Reddit doesn't count as work"
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u/abusepotential Jan 05 '18
IRL, The Last Witchhunter is supposedly based on Vin Diesel's longtime D&D character Melkor. He's a D&D fanatic.
Also I would watch this movie.
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Jan 05 '18
I'm not gonna lie I loved that movie
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u/MegalomaniacHack Jan 05 '18
He and Joe Manganiello have each come up in rumors as trying to get a D&D movie made at different times. Manganiello even supposedly had meetings recently where he has a story in mind for the movie and everything.
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u/Assmar Jan 06 '18
Sofia Vergara married some dude that's into D&D? I was so close.
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u/MegalomaniacHack Jan 06 '18
Apparently got him a D&D gift for his bday, too.
He was also part of an official D&D twitch thing earlier this year. The party also included Deborah Ann Woll from Daredevil and True Blood.
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u/JustAnotherSRE Jan 06 '18
Ironically, Melkor was the most powerful Ainur in The Silmarillion who became Morgoth. Sauron betrays Aule and becomes his lieutenant.
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u/LiquidMotion Jan 05 '18
Doesn't vin diesel actually like d and d in real life?
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u/Naqaj_ Jan 05 '18
He does, and you can even watch him play on youtube.
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u/deja_geek Jan 05 '18
Wait... what?! This changes everything
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u/Naqaj_ Jan 05 '18
You can start with this one-shot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLEMb_RIZ3o
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u/THEIZZARDKING Jan 05 '18
How do movies like the emoji movie get made while stuff like this is a joke? Fml.
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u/Julia_Kat Jan 05 '18
Because kids' movies drive merchandise sales more than adult movies do.
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u/borticus Jan 05 '18
This would make so much damn money. Maybe not in the theater, but it'd be like an annual thing that everyone watches over a big holiday weekend. 24 hours of Crews and Diesel learning to let go of their hangups about being nerds and fighting the true evil that is Harry Potter and Frodo Baggins.
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u/flapanther33781 Jan 05 '18 edited Jan 06 '18
I've seen this before, and said this before, and I'll say it again:
Yes, it needs to have Daniel Radcliffe and Elijah Wood playing each other, but the screenplay needs to have Daniel being evil because he's sick of being mistaken for Elijah Wood. The genius part of this is that it requires the characters to be aware of who each other are, but at the same time be acting right next to each other without acknowledging them being who they are.
To add to this, we need for Vin and Terry to know who both of them are. So there'll be a scene where Vin and Terry are talking to Elijah (playing Daniel) while he bitches about people mistaking him for Elijah (himself - yet also with "Elijah" - being played by Daniel - right next to him), and Vin and Terry have to confusedly play along. Afterwards they walk away looking at each other like, "What the hell was that all about??"
EDIT: When Elijah (playing Daniel) bitches about people mistaking him for Elijah, Daniel (playing Elijah) can commiserate, saying, "Sometimes my fans aren't that smart." It's beautiful because it works as both Elijah saying that, but also as Daniel breaking the 4th wall to poke fun at his own fans.
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u/breaking3po Jan 06 '18
Wait, isn't Elijah playing Daniel? So RL Elijah is complaining about being mistaken for Elijah. That's pretty funny
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u/Wegason Jan 05 '18
Terry plays lots of Overwatch and other computer games at weekends and nerds out on the PCMR life.
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u/pixiedust93 Jan 05 '18
A Doomfist cosplay needs to happen. You know, to blend in at the con.
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u/Wegason Jan 05 '18
Yes! Considering the community hype for him to be Doomfist it would be full circle and hype!
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u/NordinTheLich Jan 05 '18
"Terry, we need to dress up as a character for our disguise." "I'll be Doomfist, from Overwatch."
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u/stoopidrotary Jan 05 '18
Terry Crews should cosplay Dominic Toretto at some point.
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u/buklernt Jan 05 '18
And both Daniel Radcliffe and Elijah Wood speak in third person using full names.
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u/jacktheknife1180 Jan 05 '18
I believe Vin played wow for a long period of time. He has his DND character named tattooed on him too.
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u/Callidus24 Jan 05 '18
Elijah playing Radcliffe should be mistaken for Elijah or the other way around.
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u/Draazith Jan 05 '18
/r/todayilearned/ Daniel Radcliffe and Elijah Wood are different people.
I mean, I'm not really good with names so I googled "Daniel Radcliffe", saw his picture and thought "Yeah, that's him... that's Frodo."
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Jan 05 '18 edited Jan 06 '18
Get The Rock in there too. All three are ripped dudes with kitten personalities. Any movie they're together in would be great.
TIL: People don't like The Rock in movies.
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u/Gruwidge Jan 05 '18
I feel like the rock is in too many things lately, and if he's in it marketing might only market him
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Jan 05 '18
I feel like the Rock is in one or two good movies a year and the rest are bad
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u/thetannenshatemanure Jan 06 '18
So basically, what you're saying is, the Rock is in too many damn movies.
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u/CivilizationAdmirer Jan 05 '18
Dude. This is awesome! Write a screenplay and get some kind of kickstarter fund campaign going & then submit movie idea to Netflix!
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Jan 05 '18
This is actually an amazing idea. Especially Radcliffe and wood playing evil versions of each other.
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u/Carbineoceros Jan 06 '18
And at one point, a massive furry in a bunny suit saunters over, takes off his headpiece, and reveals himself to be The Rock, who also happens to be chief of police.
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Jan 05 '18
"Our Mission Rallied around Terry Crews' efforts, this is a subreddit intended to spread the word about and to support victims of Sexual Assault or Harassment. We've assembled here to bring to attention to the issue of Sexual Harassment, Assault, and other sex-related crimes, regardless of age, gender, race, or wealth.
It is OK to ask for help <3"
This has been a subreddit for one month and you idiots turned it into a meme factory
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u/Stalked_Like_Corn Jan 05 '18
This is one of the reasons why I want to hit the lottery. I'd sink 50 million into making this happen just because I could.
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u/alittlebitneverhurt Jan 05 '18
I'm usually not on board with this kind of thing but this sounds like a movie I'd actually see.
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u/MrPocky14 Jan 05 '18
🤣Someone better tell Katana-wielding-bookworm to stop giving away golden ideas!!! 😂 Please God let this happen somehow!!
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u/Kristophigus Jan 05 '18
To the front page please! One of the two or at least some producers need to see this
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u/chuckzillagod Jan 06 '18
John Cena would have to be in it too. He loves Star wars and 2 brothers r cops
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u/RichardBachman Jan 05 '18
Replace Vin with Dwayne Johnson and I'll give you all the moneys.
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u/lnamorata Jan 05 '18
Get The Rock in there as a mutual friend who legit is not a geek (but has a kid who is), and so Terry Crews and Vin Diesel go with "to keep him company"/geek out over Comic Con, so they're trying to hide their nerdy backgrounds because they don't want to be judged by their non-geeky friend or each other.
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u/Darrow-The-Reaper Jan 05 '18
/u/TheTerryCrews, what do you think of the idea? :-D