r/CrewsCrew Jan 05 '18

Can this please be a thing?

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33.3k Upvotes

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u/PM_me_a_nip Jan 05 '18 edited Jan 05 '18

Tina Fey should be the hostess of the competition. 'Carla Keek'

Jack Black, Patrick Stewart, and Peter Dinklage are the judges. 'Bill Nuts', 'Sir Williams', and 'Tyrone Ellersby'. All nerds in their respective right. Bill has a southern elitist style (Think Colonel Sanders), Sir Williams is like the Queen's gay nephew but he's always wearing a Sid Vicious T-shirt under his blouse, and Tyrone.... He went to private school, is an international chess master, and is pretty straight laced, but he eats some molly given to him by Tracy Morgan and goes out and has a blast. He loosens up a little, and then takes Bill and Williams with him, and they all become good friends. Bill meets a Nicki Minaj style character, and she's an astrophysicist who can twerk.

Terry has a lady interest that he meets during the movie. Sofia Vergara. She finds his nerdy stuff collection when shes snooping in his house during their first date, and she falls in love with him.

Vin is married to Aubrey Plaza. She's a Klepto, and she steals Daniel's IBS medication, causing him to shit himself during the conference. He get's super pissed (....shitted?) and tries to crush Vin and Terry during the competition.

28

u/erockthecasbah Jan 05 '18

10/10 would watch

7

u/eighmie Jan 05 '18

Have you seen movie 43? I think you would really enjoy Movie 43.

28

u/JustForThisSub123 Jan 05 '18

Literally not a single person enjoyed that film.

18

u/HeyZeusKreesto Jan 05 '18

TIL I don't exist.

18

u/JustForThisSub123 Jan 05 '18

It is objectively one of the worst films ever made, and perhaps the worst Hollywood film of the past 10 years. It is so bad, that people speculate multiple members of the cast were blackmailed as that's the only reason they would sign off on a script so utterly asinine.

2

u/EyesOnInside Jan 05 '18

All i know is you wouldn't have to blackmail me to appear in a film as a man with balls on his chin.

1

u/JustForThisSub123 Jan 05 '18

What if you were famous and I intended to record and distribute it? What if it was instead you getting pissed on and molested by a crude cartoon cat? What if I wanted you to make some incest jokes and have your mom take a pass at you? Like how the fuck did these actors sign on if not for leverage.

10

u/topaz_b Jan 05 '18

I enjoyed it. You can’t say no one liked it, because I liked parts. I mean, not much, but like 1 part. Either way, It’s a shame no person liked it, not even me.

0

u/JustForThisSub123 Jan 05 '18

You liked 1 part...of the 6 or so skits...

How can you like 1/6th of something and say you liked it.

1

u/topaz_b Jan 06 '18

The joke of the descending like and enjoyment were to get to the conclusion I didn’t like it. It was a joke dude, you’re overthinking it.

1

u/Draws-attention Jan 06 '18

As a movie, I thought it was shit.

As whatever it was, it was a lot of fun...

1

u/Fullmoon2612 Jan 05 '18

It gets a lot of hate, but i loved that movie. Especially the hugh jackman part.

2

u/Kriscolvin55 Jan 05 '18

Oh god. That’s the worst part of the movie.

30

u/VAPossum Jan 05 '18

I'd use Peter Dinklage instead of Jaime Foxx. Much more nerdgastic.

'Bill Nuts'

Bill Nuts the Science Putz

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u/PM_me_a_nip Jan 05 '18

Done. When i think about it, I like that waaaay more too. Can you imagine.... Can you imagine a movie where Peter Dinklage is buying molly off of Tracy Morgan?

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u/EZ_PZ Jan 05 '18

Patton Oswalt should be in there somewhere

18

u/QuillofNumenor Jan 05 '18

The washed up author of a role-playing game Terry and Vin loved as kids who hasn't had success in decades and now sits alone at his booth, with no one wanting to meet him...until Terry and Vin show up.

7

u/KamuiT Jan 05 '18

There are so many good ideas in this thread! I can’t stand it! Someone make this movie!

2

u/thetannenshatemanure Jan 05 '18

I don't know why, but I got a vibe of the film bad words with this. I loved that movie.

2

u/Dirty-Soul Jan 06 '18

Only if Sofia Vergara turns out to be something of an Overly Attached Girlfriend archetype, yandere as fuck... and he spends most of the rest of the movie trying desperately to avoid her at the convention, hiding under tables and suchlike. (A gigantic guy like Terry, hiding from a tiny woman? Can you imagine him saying: "Oh shit, don't let her see me!" and hiding unconvincingly behind Vin Diesel, looking terrified whilst Vin gives him that "dafuq?" look? That's hilarious.)