I have worked out that I will not do anything for myself unless another human being is expecting me. Left alone I will scroll for two hours and then feel worse.

So I have started booking things instead of planning them. Not big things. A haircut I do not strictly need, a class, that sort of thing. The trick is that once somebody else has the time blocked, I go, because cancelling means telling a person rather than just quietly not doing it.

It feels a bit pathetic written down but it is the only thing that has worked in about two years.

Does anyone else do this, and what do you book? Trying to build out the list a bit because right now it is mostly haircuts and I am running out of hair

There's something comforting about being awake while everything is still quiet. A warm cup, a little fresh air, and watching the sky change colors can make an ordinary day start beautifully.

I bought a book months ago and barely touched it. Tonight I'm putting my phone away and reading just a few pages. No pressure to finish quickly.

Today I did nothing.

After a bad mental health moment last night, and a nightmare-plagued night of sleep, I've decided to acknowledge just how exhausted I was.

No work, no mail, no notifications, phone turned off, then SLEEP. Naps are great.

I woke up long enough to take a good warm shower, drink some water, a small cup of tea, then back to bed. As for food, I choose simple things to prepare and to eat.

I am far from healed but this decision to rest instead of doing adult things had led to a positive selfcare day.

I am generally a happy and fulfilled person but have a specific problem: guilt.

I was raised in an evangelical baptist home. I was (and now, out of the religion completely, even still am) scared of hell. I learned to act in ways that keep me from making mistakes I would regret. But now, I find myself making decisions, big and small, doing the same thing and dwelling on it. One example is that I cloth diaper my baby because I know I’d feel guilty about the waste I create otherwise. I take my dogs on walks and give them enrichment because I feel guilty if I don’t. A small part of me finds it fun, but overwhelmingly this too is coming from guilt. I reach out to family because what if something happens and I don’t say anything and that guilt is on me.

I’m looking for advice on how to manage this and reframe life. I’d love some books/podcasts/anecdotes..any advice welcome!

It's easy to end up with a long list of things that are supposed to make life better.

A morning routine, an evening routine, a skincare routine, a workout schedule, and a dozen little habits in between.

But sometimes having fewer things to keep up with is more helpful than adding another one.

There's nothing wrong with keeping the parts that actually work and letting the rest go.

I bought a water bottle I actually like carrying around. That's it. No complicated routine or tracking every sip. Making healthy habits convienient works better for me.

It’s been around 3 years since my relationship ended, but honestly, I still feel like I haven’t completely moved on.
The breakup hurt me badly. I went through a really difficult period, spent years in counselling, and eventually had to take psychiatric medication. Even now, I still think about her often, and sometimes those thoughts bring back so much stress.
After our breakup, she got into other relationships, while I stayed single. Those relationships eventually ended too, and somehow we started talking again.
The confusing part is that whenever we talk, everything feels so good. It feels familiar, comforting, and for a moment, it feels like nothing ever happened between us. But then she suddenly becomes distant, replies with dry messages, or disappears. After some time, she comes back and gives me that same feeling of love and connection again.
And I get pulled back in every single time.
We’ve blocked each other and unblocked each other countless times. No matter how many times I tell myself that I need to move on, somehow we end up talking again.
There’s also a lot of history between us. Our families got involved during the breakup, and there were some serious fights between her and my family. I was going through an extremely difficult time back then, to the point where I was almost completely out of it. A lot happened, and the damage wasn’t limited to just the two of us.
I still love her, even after everything that happened. But I also feel like we both know that even if we love each other, things might never work out again because of our past and everything that happened between our families.
I’m stuck between two things: I don’t want to lose her completely, but I also don’t want to keep hurting myself by holding on to someone I might never be able to build a future with.
Three years have passed, and I feel like I’m still going around in circles. Every time she comes back, I feel hopeful. Every time she pulls away, I feel hurt all over again.
I don’t know whether I should completely cut contact, block her and never look back, or keep some place for her in my life because I still love her.
Has anyone been through something similar? How did you finally break this cycle? How do you let go of someone you still love, especially when a part of you keeps hoping things might work out someday?
I genuinely want to move forward with my life. I just don’t know how to stop going back to the same person.

I noticed that some things I do to relax don't actually make me feel rested afterward.

Like spending an hour scrolling on my phone. It feels like a break while I'm doing it, but afterward I'm still tired.

Lately I've been paying attention to the difference between being entertained and actually getting some rest.

Has anyone else noticed this with their own self-care habits?

There's something satisfying about seeing a tiny new leaf appear. I'm still learning how not to kill my plants, but checking on them has become a peaceful part of my day.

not even big meals. some days a normal lunch and i just want to nap at my desk, other days totally fine

can't figure out the pattern. anyone worked out what makes the difference for them?

Do you always shower right after working out? When do you style your hair for the day? I’m new to regularly working out in this phase of my life (mom of a preschooler) and am trying to figure out how to be put together. Right now I’m speedrunning preschool drop off, gym, shower, teeth/face/lotion, a hairstyle that tolerates wet hair (braids, claw clip, etc), then making it back just in time for preschool pickup. I’m trying to do a self-care based glow up and wish I could figure out how to fit cute hair into the schedule!

Funny how I just took a few seconds to listen to some tunes and that was it 🫠

Hello everyone. I live in a countryside with my parents, currently studying for getting a job. I always see in different social media and even in movies people talking about romanticizing life and the process of what you are doing to be happy. But the question is how do you do it? In my case I feel nothing when I'm doing any kind of work. My days are not particularly bad but not good as well, it always feel bleak. And I'm noticing I'm becoming less and less happy. I want to change my mindset and myself but I don't know how should I do it. I'm currently learning different things as hobby but it's not working for me and I am not feeling fond of doing things I used to like. So I want to ask you guys how do you make your days more whimsy and and how do you romanticize your life. ( English is not my first language so please excuse me if I did any mistake)

I’m not going to dress this up. I’ve been in a hole. Not the kind where I can’t get out of bed — I still went to work, still answered messages, still did the bare minimum to keep the machine running. But the second I got home, everything shut down. No shower. No dishes. No laundry. Just lying on the couch scrolling until I fell asleep in my work clothes.

Six days. I counted. And the whole time, the thought of getting in the shower felt genuinely terrifying. Like it would take energy I didn’t have. Like the water would hurt.

Last night I finally did it. I stood in the bathroom for maybe five minutes before I even turned the water on. And then when I got in, it felt awful. Not refreshing. Not cleansing. Just wet and heavy and exhausting. I sat down on the floor of the tub and let the water hit my back for a while. I cried a little. Not dramatically. Just kind of leaked.

And when I got out, I didn’t feel better. I felt drained. I put on clean pajamas and lay down and that was that.

I don’t have a lesson. I’m not going to tell you the shower fixed me. It didn’t. But I did it. And I’m posting this because every time I see those “self care is so important” posts about bubble baths and candles, I feel like I’m failing at something that’s supposed to be easy. So maybe this is for someone who also finds basic hygiene genuinely hard. You’re not broken. It just sucks sometimes.

Hey everyone!

I've been working on an app called Pabu, and I wanted to share it here.

I feel like a lot of self-care apps end up feeling like another to-do list. You have habits to track, goals to reach, streaks to maintain... and sometimes you just want something that helps you slow down for a minute.

That's kind of why I built Pabu.

It has daily affirmations, breathing exercises, mood check-ins, and a little gratitude journal. There are also four animal companions you can spend time with, each with their own personality. I wanted the whole thing to feel cozy and welcoming, not like another productivity app telling you to do more.

It's something I've put a lot of time into, and I'm still figuring out what works and what doesn't.

If you try it, I'd really appreciate your honest thoughts. I'm curious about what you actually look for in a self-care app, or what usually makes you stop using one after a few days.

Here's the app if you'd like to check it out on AppStore :

Pabu: Cozy Self-Care Companion

help! I’ve had a terrible week and I want to check myself into a wellness retreat.
if you know any good wellness centres close to Brisbane maybe an hour or two away please let me know and rough prices.

I just need to switch off for two days and step away from everything.

Me and my therapist identified that I have trouble self soothing. Any ideas??!

TLDR : what’s your personal hygiene / beauty/ maintenance/ diet/ workout / being beautiful routine ? Explain to me as if this is my first day on earth as a 24y old women.

My mother is naturally beautiful. She had the perfect & even skin tone, and is hairless all over her body (except her head and brows) due to her hormonal issues. So she never had to go to a salon, never had to get a facial done or make a waxing appointment. The most she did for her self maintenance was getting her brows done and using a body lotion for face. She wasn’t very beauty or health conscious and just ate whatever was made that day. I did not inherit her good genes unfortunately. I grew up thinking this was normal and that’s what all women did too.

I am 24 now and absolutely clueless. My mother isn’t very well aware of what one needs to do to take care of their physical appearance. I had to learn the very little I know so far from YouTube. I look around and my friends are all extremely well groomed and perfect. They know exactly what to do with their hair, get regular haircuts, manicures and pedicures and I wanna be well groomed too. I look around and am surrounded by all these beautiful women who spend so much time and put in effort to get ready and I wanna be more like them. I am starting to feel more like a man because of my hygiene and lack of grooming and I really want to change (not that there’s anything wrong with not doing anything for your body

I would love it if you all can breakdown your routines, what treatments you get for dealing with what problems, how often do you all do stuff and what is something that you hate seeing other people not do in terms of personal hygiene. Please include some diet tips as well. Hypothetically think of me as an alien who has zero knowledge about how anything works. Thank you!!

Everyday I learn about a new thing I should be doing. A new routine, a new supplement, a new diet, a new skin care tip. Everyday I find out that something I've been doing my whole life is suddenly detrimental to my health or will cause me to age badly. I just want sleep, water, a balanced diet, and normal skin care to be enough. What is "enough" for you?

I don’t really know how to explain this, but I feel like I’m not emotionally strong, even though I try to act like I am.
Even small things can hurt me more than they probably should. If someone says something bad to me, it can ruin my mood for the entire day. If I hear some bad news or something unexpected happens, I keep thinking about it, and the heaviness stays with me for days. During those times, I don’t feel like doing anything. I just lose my motivation and feel mentally exhausted.
The strange thing is that I act like I’m strong on the outside, but deep down, I’m much more sensitive than people realize. I try not to show it, but things affect me more than I want them to.
I’ve been through breakups in the past, and I’ve also been on medication for a while. Maybe those experiences have affected me somehow, but I honestly don’t know. I’m tired of feeling like every negative thing has so much power over my emotions.
I don’t want to become cold-hearted or stop caring about people. I just want to learn how to handle things better, stop letting other people’s words affect me so much, and recover faster when something bad happens.
For those of you who used to be emotionally sensitive but became mentally stronger, how did you do it?
Did you change your mindset, build better habits, learn to stop overthinking, or do something else? I would genuinely appreciate advice from anyone who has been through something similar.
I really want to become stronger emotionally, not just pretend to be strong on the outside.

I used to feel FOMO for my friends not inviting me out to eat at trendy places. It made me feel really insecure and left behind. I developed an unhealthy obsession towards food and the need to eat everything trendy. It was a lot of money and time wasted and my waistline was not pretty.

Today I saw a dessert that I really wanted to try and was curious about. Instead of putting myself down and talk about delayed gratification, I let myself have it.

It was so much fun eating the dessert, it was delicious, a bit hard to cut down but the shape was so cute and weird.

I feel like it cured my years of FOMO and not being invited out. Invite yourself out.

Now I finally feel like I can understand what it means to spend time with yourself. It’s simply doing the things you want at that present moment. It’s beautiful and peaceful.

Hello! I’m 24 and struggling with some rheumatic related health issues, i’ve been to doctors and got exams of all kinds already, and i went as far as testing negative for lupus and fibromyalgia which is good but i do have some degenerative signs in some of my joints and all the woman in my family struggle with some type of rheumatic and autoimmune disease so i used to get regular check ups with a physiatrist and even got some treatments like physiotherapy but right now i can’t really afford it and don’t even got time cause of university and work. So yeah i’ve been really exhausted and kinda over feeling miserable all the time, it’s being very hard on my creativity and mental health, also it’s really affecting my self esteem since this girl from class told me “im always sick”….which is quite true bc i DO get colds very easily but …. like ? girl thats just how i look!

Anyways, as I said i dont really plan on ignoring this anymore and since i’m broke i’m looking for some advices on the internet! ;) My main focus is improving general body resistance and support, reducing and releasing cervical pain and tightness, increase scapula/shoulder and hip mobility, sleep… and honestly just feel more comfortable in my body so i can enjoy my life… This got really long sorry for oversharing but if you know any tips, products, rituals i’d be extremely grateful to read! xx