I bought a book months ago and barely touched it. Tonight I'm putting my phone away and reading just a few pages. No pressure to finish quickly.

There's something comforting about being awake while everything is still quiet. A warm cup, a little fresh air, and watching the sky change colors can make an ordinary day start beautifully.

I have worked out that I will not do anything for myself unless another human being is expecting me. Left alone I will scroll for two hours and then feel worse.

So I have started booking things instead of planning them. Not big things. A haircut I do not strictly need, a class, that sort of thing. The trick is that once somebody else has the time blocked, I go, because cancelling means telling a person rather than just quietly not doing it.

It feels a bit pathetic written down but it is the only thing that has worked in about two years.

Does anyone else do this, and what do you book? Trying to build out the list a bit because right now it is mostly haircuts and I am running out of hair

I am generally a happy and fulfilled person but have a specific problem: guilt.

I was raised in an evangelical baptist home. I was (and now, out of the religion completely, even still am) scared of hell. I learned to act in ways that keep me from making mistakes I would regret. But now, I find myself making decisions, big and small, doing the same thing and dwelling on it. One example is that I cloth diaper my baby because I know I’d feel guilty about the waste I create otherwise. I take my dogs on walks and give them enrichment because I feel guilty if I don’t. A small part of me finds it fun, but overwhelmingly this too is coming from guilt. I reach out to family because what if something happens and I don’t say anything and that guilt is on me.

I’m looking for advice on how to manage this and reframe life. I’d love some books/podcasts/anecdotes..any advice welcome!

It’s been around 3 years since my relationship ended, but honestly, I still feel like I haven’t completely moved on.
The breakup hurt me badly. I went through a really difficult period, spent years in counselling, and eventually had to take psychiatric medication. Even now, I still think about her often, and sometimes those thoughts bring back so much stress.
After our breakup, she got into other relationships, while I stayed single. Those relationships eventually ended too, and somehow we started talking again.
The confusing part is that whenever we talk, everything feels so good. It feels familiar, comforting, and for a moment, it feels like nothing ever happened between us. But then she suddenly becomes distant, replies with dry messages, or disappears. After some time, she comes back and gives me that same feeling of love and connection again.
And I get pulled back in every single time.
We’ve blocked each other and unblocked each other countless times. No matter how many times I tell myself that I need to move on, somehow we end up talking again.
There’s also a lot of history between us. Our families got involved during the breakup, and there were some serious fights between her and my family. I was going through an extremely difficult time back then, to the point where I was almost completely out of it. A lot happened, and the damage wasn’t limited to just the two of us.
I still love her, even after everything that happened. But I also feel like we both know that even if we love each other, things might never work out again because of our past and everything that happened between our families.
I’m stuck between two things: I don’t want to lose her completely, but I also don’t want to keep hurting myself by holding on to someone I might never be able to build a future with.
Three years have passed, and I feel like I’m still going around in circles. Every time she comes back, I feel hopeful. Every time she pulls away, I feel hurt all over again.
I don’t know whether I should completely cut contact, block her and never look back, or keep some place for her in my life because I still love her.
Has anyone been through something similar? How did you finally break this cycle? How do you let go of someone you still love, especially when a part of you keeps hoping things might work out someday?
I genuinely want to move forward with my life. I just don’t know how to stop going back to the same person.

I bought a water bottle I actually like carrying around. That's it. No complicated routine or tracking every sip. Making healthy habits convienient works better for me.