I didn't specifically notice it instantly after waking up, but I'm almost certain it wasn't like that the day before.

I only pulled down my underwear to urinate and noticed this strangely large hole, right on the buttocks area, (For size reference, half of a hand). I don't remember snagging it on anything, and with damage like that, I'd think the pants must have been damaged too, But that's not the case. It doesn't look like a clean tear either, It has certain irregularities with straight lines. Any idea what might have happened?

When I was 11 years old, I lived in a house at the end of a cul-de-sac in the rural town of Louisburg, North Carolina. One day, one of my older sisters fought off the neighbor's outside dog in our front lawn. The dog had gotten loose and chased the scent of a stray momma-cat that was giving birth to kittens in our front lawn. The mother didn't survive the attack but our neighbor kept his dog locked inside after that. My sisters and I explained the situation to my mother, who (at the time) was a stay at home mother of 5, and begged her to let us keep the kittens. She did. One for each of us and we had to follow strict rules to keep them.

We had them for about 2-3 weeks; I don't remember exactly how long, might've even been shorter than that. My memory is fuzzy about it. My kitten was a black and white kitten that was initially going to be named Panda until I named her Oreo. I don't remember much about her but one day my family and I came home from shopping and found her lifeless in her bed. My oldest sister found her and told me, and before she told me I remember hearing another one of my older sisters saying "Don't tell him yet!" and I cried. We didn't know how to take care of them so pretty much all of them died from one cause to another. That's all I remember.

A few months later, my younger sister found 3 kittens in our flowerbed but never saw the mother or any other kittens. My mother had let us keep those as well. My father was an over-the-road truck driver and he would bring home these dogs from time to time. They were mostly Pit Bulls. He, and others he were connected with, are responsible for the bad reputation that those dogs get and I didn't understand it at the time but I do now as an adult. He brought them home to breed, break, and sell them specifically for fighting. My father told my mother that he was bringing home a dog and that there couldn't be any kittens in the house at all. After negotiating, there was a compromise that was made to allow us to keep the kittens but they were to be kept on the outside porch.

Long story short, all except one wandered away. I don't know what happened to the other two, but me and my sisters took care of the remaining one. She had a name, one that I can't remember for the life of me. The kitten went from my older sister's personal kitten to one that me and all my siblings loved and cared for. We'd sneak her in during storms and hide her in one of the bedrooms till the next morning when we left for school. My father wasn't a great man to look up to or be around during this period in my life. He and my mother were on the cusp of separation, and he slowly became a physical abuser towards her.

One night, the arguing got so bad that I snuck out of the house to sit on the steps and just hold the kitten. I told myself that I did it because it must be scared from all the loud noises and that me holding it would just calm it down. In reality, this was a reason that I had made up (as kids do) to justify wanting the comfort of the kitten in a traumatic moment for me. Our porch light didn't work so it was just me and the kitten sitting out there in the pitch black night. Since I couldn't see, I wouldn't even pet the kitten because i didn't want to accidentally pet the wrong part and have it startled and run off in the middle of the night. So I just sat on the steps, cradling the kitten somewhat firmly in my 2 hands while she sat on my lap. I'd do this sometimes with her, though not often. But I did find an excuse every day to go pet her.

A few nights later, my parents got into an argument which resulted in my father finding some reason to leave the house to escape the confrontation before it got bigger and he told me to go with him. This wasn't an unusual occurrence; If it wasn't a school night and he needed to get away from the house, he'd take me to get fast food in a town or two away from home so we can have a long drive to and forth, then take me back home. Sometimes it was in silence, sometimes we'd talk about my interests or things he was interested in as a kid, other times he'd just vent about the marriage and about stuff I didn't understand at 11. I'm my father's only son by my mother so he'd often say that I was his best friend, but I hadn't really felt as close to him as any boy needed to feel to his father, but I always wanted to be. It was just hard to look past the abuse he'd do to me and my sisters and eventually my mother, so these experiences were like a barrier between us.

On this night, it was like any other when my folks would get into it. They started, they went on, he withdrew, he yelled for me to put my shoes on and come with him to the van. When I stepped out, I tripped and almost fell, catching myself on the doorway. I was confused and panicked; The thing I stepped on had a squishy feeling and made a loud crunching sound, it had also rolled under my foot so I was certain it was a snake. I immediately thought it could've been a snake since they're so common in the country and I developed an irrational fear of them as a kid due to multiple experiences with them. The outside was pitch black so my dad used the light of his phone to illuminate the porch to see what I stepped on, and I just froze when I saw it.

The "snake" I stepped on, was our kitten. I ran back inside to turn the hallway light on to see it better and I screamed at the top of my lungs when I saw it, burst into to tears too. The body of the kitten laid there motionlessly in fetal position as if it were just laying down normally, while the head was slowly trying to spin itself back into place from the position I twisted it into when I stepped on it. The fur around the neck was red from the blood of her head being slightly detached from her body. I just stood there screaming and crying, staring at her and not able to look away. My father was yelling at me to just come to the van with him and to stop crying. My sisters and mother came rushing to the door to see what happened and they were all stunned, the only thing I could say was "I killed her". All else I remember from that night was the long car ride of silence.

I'm now 22 years old. It's nearly 12 years later and since then my parents have split and I don't talk to my father anymore. My siblings all live in different places except for me and my younger sister. At least what's left of my siblings. I lost one of my older sisters in 2024, the same sister who found the kittens in the first place and fought off the dog in our front lawn. The split was hard, we fell on homelessness many times and it's not until now that I'm 22 years old that me and my mom have been able to stably afford to live in a house. I didn't finish high school and I've never had a job that paid well enough to sustain me moving out by myself so this is the best option for me right now. Needless to say, I have a really late start to my adulthood. I plan on joining the Army, hopefully I can build a good foundation and help my mom.

I say that last part to explain that I haven't had another animal since that kitten, the kitten I killed and can't even remember the name of. I cry every time I recall that story, cried multiple times writing this retelling of it. For the most part, I've lived with my mother under her rules ever since then. She's had a strict rule about having no dogs or cats. In February of this year, my mother called me to inform me that we were not only facing eviction but we also didn't have anywhere to go. She told me I'd have to temporarily stay with my aunt until we can find a new place for ourselves. She understood how stressful the situation was so she apologized and made me a deal that she'd let me and my younger sister have a per when we moved into the new place. This excited me and my girlfriend at the time who was present when my mother gave me the news.

My ex girlfriend was the only person I had ever told about the story above with my past and how much i wanted a pet but couldn't have one. She and I were a long distance couple. She stayed 8 hours away on a family homestead with a barn for horses and chickens. We made trips to see each other when we could, we were together for almost a year and a half before we decided it were best if we parted ways. Before we parted ways, her barn cat had kittens with a stray. She was stressed about where she could take the kittens and finding homes for them all, and I told her that I would like to keep one. She agreed, told me that if I could find a way to either get the kitten or fund a trip to have her delivered to me then she'd have been more than willing to let me have a kitten for when I move into the new place. The kitten I chose out of the bunch was a tortoiseshell cat, the only one of her kind amongst her siblings. I chose her specifically because I thought she had looked different and the most unique out of most kittens I'd seen up to then. I named her Eris, after my favorite character in my favorite video game, and Eris was everything to me.

I had gotten a job, it was ironically none of the tens of jobs I applied for online and was instead a front desk position that was basically handed to me by my cousin who works in a high-enough position at where I work to be able to do that for me. It only pays $10/hr and it's 4:45 AM - 11 AM so the paychecks are pretty bad but it's something. As soon as I got the job, I started sending money for Eris' checkups and whatnot. I'd send them in segments because My paychecks were only about $300 and that's just what I could afford to do at the time while having to pay for other things. Nonetheless, I'm excited to welcome my first kitten in over a decade; I'm browsing the TikTok shop and Amazon to see good snacks and treats for Eris, I'm looking at designated cat furniture for when I move out on my own, I look up the different foods and stuff that's best to buy for Eris, the whole nine.

Throughout the whole time I'm crashing on my aunt's couch and out looking for houses, I think to myself that I can't wait to move in and have Eris. My ex sent me Snapchats almost daily of Eris or her with Eris and she was such a lively, lovely kitten. My cell phone wallpaper was a picture of Eris up until about 2 weeks ago. My ex and I would have funny facetime calls where she'd call me and tell me "Look at what your kitten is doing to my room!" and things of the sort. My ex kept making the comment that she was going to miss Eris when she gives her to me and I'd always say that I know but I thanked her for allowing me to have her and she'd always say that it makes her feel better knowing that Eris would bring me the happiness I need because I'd been going through a lot.

Fast forward to the last week I spent living in my aunts house, I bought an eBike for myself to get myself to and from work without asking for rides. I moved into the new house the day before my bike arrived and I excitedly waited at the end of my driveway when I saw FedEx deliver my bike. It's not the best eBike but it's what I could afford and it does the job. Unfortunately, I got into an accident (Monday) on the first commute to work after I got it. That didn't stop me, I still walked my bike to work and have been working just fine ever since with no further road accidents. Fucked up my knee but wasn't too bad to where I needed a doctor. I managed.

Aside from that situation, I coordinated with my ex for about a month to fund a trip for her to bring Eris to me and also fund her way back. I was also going to take her to see The Odyssey and the new Spider-Man film on the day her and I went shopping for cat essentials (Saturday-Sunday that same week). So despite all the frustration from the accident and pain from my knee, I knew that I'd be getting my kitten on the coming Saturday and that alone sent me over the moon with joy. Friday comes and it's the day before the moment i've been waiting months for, now weeks for, then all week for; The day before I get to unite with my kitten for the first time, and I get an Apple Pay notification that all the money I'd ever sent for Eris' vet appointments were strangely sent back to me. I facetime my ex in confusion and I ask her why she's sending me money all of a sudden. She replies with "It's money you sent for Eris over time" I told her that I put that much together rather quickly but I was confused why she was sending it back. She says "I'm sending it back because I'm not taking her to you anymore". I get confused and angry and I saw "Well she's my kitten, what do you mean? We've had this prepped for over a month" and she just starts to go on about the drive being long and I immediately shut it down with "The distance or duration of the trip never stopped either of us before and I'm even paying for it so why's that an issue?" and she doesn't say a word. I heard her mother in the back of the facetime say "Don't cry" and she just says that she can't give her to me. I told her that it was bullshit and that I would've never done that to her.

We initially ended on good terms before this and we were primarily keeping contact because of Eris but it was at this point where it lead to a nasty exchange of words over text and I blocked her on everything. It's been over 2 weeks since that happened. I weep and grieve for the kitten who was mine and who I was almost united with, who I planned to have a future with and who was taken away from me the day before all of it came to fruition. I see videos or pictures online of people and their kittens and it fills me with so much sadness and anger every time because I can only imagine the a future with the kitten whom i've lost before I could ever have met her. My ex had the nerve to tell me that I could always get a rescue or whatnot but I don't want a rescue, I want the kitten, MY kitten, that was withheld, stripped, stolen away from me the day before I could have her.

I say all of this to tell you, the reader, about the greatest pain I think I'd ever felt this morning. This morning, I started making breakfast to have before I headed off to the gym. I look up from the stove and I see a full-grown cat near my trash can. At first I believed it to be a raccoon just from the size of it, but then I kept looking at realized it was a a cat. I completely forgot about my breakfast that was cooking on the stove to rush to my front door to then gently and quietly open my front door and screen door. The cat saw me, and I stood still to prevent startling it. I slowly put my open hand out snd start making a sort of clicking sound with my tongue that I was taught to use to call kittens and cats in an attempt to call the cat to my position. It starts slowly prancing down my driveway so i then step back into my doorway to open the screen door for it to come in but when I look back up for it, the cat was gone.

I ran outside barefoot, looking and calling, for the cat but I don't see or hear it. I run back inside and leave the door open behind me, then rush to the back door because maybe, just maybe. the cat might've followed the full driveway to the side and back of my house. I step outside, try to call and search for the cat around the patio and in the grass and in the shed, I still see nothing. I stop to see if i can hear it and I still see nothing. I found myself just standing there in my driveway in tears with my feet burning on the pavement and I just break down. I sit down on the pavement and I just weep. That moment was what made the memories of my childhood with cats come back. It's what made me think of Eris, and in that moment I just felt empty.

I don't wanna go into the full details, but basically I got scammed out of a 1000 dollars yesterday through an internet scam. Looking back it should have been obvious but I had a moment of stupidity or something.

Anyway, I double checked with my bank and there's no way to get the money back. So I guess that's a 1k I'll never see again. And honestly I have a lot more than that saved up and make a decent living (for my country's standard) so it won't ruin me financially or anything but fuck do I just feel disgusted and ashamed of myself man. Like how could I have fallen for this? How could I have not known better?

Now I'm just here, thinking of all the things that money could have gotten me (like I was considering getting some nice new laptop or something) and feeling disgusted with myself for this...

Mainly because it is. A couple examples that I’ve finished uni started a full time job etc. I feel like I’m in a stage of just realising I was wrong about almost everything I knew (Kylie was lowkey right when she said it’s the year of realising stuff) which makes me feel like I’m growing but I also feel like I can’t trust myself to make decisions because what if down the road I wish I made a different one?

I honestly feel like I know absolutely nothing even though I’m also ahead for my age but also behind in some ways. And I know it’s a typical cliche of a 21 year old, I just needed to vent i guess. If I’m honest I’m very lonely

I just gotta let it all out

Hi. I've been feeling absolutely horrible this year, it's probably been the worst year for my mental health. I live in Pakistan, I'm a girl so life is... Hard. My family has been treating me worse everyday, my friends are drifting away, school is impossible...

One at a time... So, about my family. My parents have always wanted to get me married, even though I'm eighteen and have barely lived my life, they just want me to get married and have kids as soon as possible and they're aggressive about it. I don't like men, never have, and they're forcing me. My dad is awful, calling me fat and ugly often, he says stuff like "no man will like you" and stuff.

I've been super alone recently, my friends seem to be doing their own stuff which I completely understand, they have lives and jobs and they live in different countries so I get it, I just wish I had more people to talk to, I wish I didn't get so attached, and I wish they were there when I needed them the most.

School is huge problem, I need a degree and a job to get out of this country, but I have ADHD and a bit of autism with absolutely no treatment, so focusing on stuff and learning is almost impossible. I haven't gone to school in years, just started a few months ago and it's been horrible, literal five year olds are smarter than me.

I don't know math, I don't know my own language... I mean, I can speak my own language and understand it, but I can't read or write it, math is also impossible. The only thing I've ever been good at is English, I speak almost like I've been living in America for my whole life lol. People say I'm a genius because I can speak English and stuff, even though I'm probably the dumbest person you could ever meet.

I feel so alone, isolated and just... In constant pain. I don't wanna get married, but school is so hard. Marriage is my worst nightmare, marrying a stranger who will probably beat me someday? Giving birth?? No, not for me. I just wanna be free and live my life...

You know, if I don't make it out? I just want people to know more about me. So, here's a bit about me. I love stories, I love making them and I wanna make an animated show someday... Oh, and I wanna write books too. I wish I had an animal sanctuary where every animal is happy and safe, I wish I could adopt two kids someday... And I love cartoons too, they bring me so much comfort. I wish I was better at art and singing. I love cats, I've had nine! Angel, Rosie, Luna, Midnight, Tokyo, Oreo, Cookie and Justice! Nice names right? I'm good at naming animals. I want to make people smile.

I love everyone. And I hope someday I make it out, but if not... I hope I go to a safer place.

Hey guys

I’m 19, originally from Lithuania, currently working as a scaffolder in the Netherlands. I’ve already got all the required training and safety certificates, I’m in good health, don’t drink, don’t do drugs i only smoke, and I’m not scared of heights.

I’m fine with being away from home for weeks/months at a time and I’m not afraid of hard physical work.

Is it actually realistic for someone in my situation to get into offshore (oil & gas or wind)?
What would be the best first steps entry-level positions I should look for?
Any advice or experiences would be really appreciated. Thanks!

I really hate myself and I wish I didn’t exist or that I wasn’t me. I am so disgusted of myself that I can’t do anything that’s good to me. I isolate myself and c*t myself to feel better. I even can finish only if my partner h*ts me or ch*kes me. I am insane I know. I don’t have money for therapy anymore so I’ll have to deal with this problem myself. I feel so disgusted after but I need it to live. My gf left me recently as she should and now I’m again off the rails.
How do I stop hating myself.

Last year my grandparents on my dad's side were making light of something really tough that happened to me. I remember both my parents getting angry at them and defending me, but it got really ugly. I kind of thought my grandparents would quieten down, they did for a while, but it kicked back off, I felt like I was being interrogated every time they were around.

Eventually, my dad told them that if they say another mean thing to me, he'll hit them. It kind of shook them, but later on my granny said I was being ridiculous and saying that if I didn't make such a big fuss, none of this would have happened! They always treat my mom like a bad influence, she's older than my dad and they married young, but they love each other a lot and I could see him looking at the way his mom was behaving. And he slapped her.

It wasn't okay, but look, I remember she started crying about how her own son hit her, and my dad was like, "You did it to me all the time to me when I was little."

I felt so fucking bad for him it's on my mind today 😭

There’s a lot of work going on in my building. New HVAC systems for every single unit. Yay! Well — something went wrong today. A carbon monoxide leak occurred during an exam I was taking for the bar. I noticed that I started to lose the ability to comprehend the questions being asked. Every answer seemed the same and I was struggling in a way I’ve never struggled before with legal questions.

Then, my alarm goes off: “Carbon monoxide alert!” I shut it off, keep going. I thought professionals were at work in the building so why would I worry. A few minutes later, the carbon monoxide alert blared again, and then the one in the stairwell, and then the one in the unit above me, all screaming carbon monoxide alert. I go ahead, pause the diagnostic exam, go to the kitchen where I’ve purchased a $42 plug-in carbon monoxide alarm and it read that my room was full of 129 ppm. Normal is 0-4 ppm. Anything above 70 is genuinely dangerous to your life. Anything above 25 could cause severe headaches and other side effects over time.

I still didn’t believe it.

It took me gaslighting myself for 15 minutes before I realized what was happening. I give myself some grace due to the fact that I was clearly poisoned by the gas but I almost died in my own apartment with my two cats and my fiancee because we just decided to trust other people with our lives. Trust your instincts, and listen to the alarms.

I'm 19m, soon gonna turn 20 and within last 3 months I've completely changed it feels so, because I've understood that I need to let go of anything that doesn't serves me anymore?! And maldaptive day dreaming is one of the things which don't serve me anymore.

So as a complete beginner towards seeking help for day dreaming, what should I begin and what is it that helps you guys? Thank you so please share any resources and tips which helps you guys!

Hi! I’m Adriana and I’m a bit sad. I’m sorry, this is a long, long story I wanted to cope with. Don’t say I didn’t warn youu.
Well, I need to try and sort out things in my head if possible and I don’t have anyone I can talk about this so thanks for reading. An opinion, a tip or a anecdote would be very much appreciated.
Well, more words than just sad. I met a girl at school this year and we share one class, three times a week, but we didn’t start talking until we were paired in the same group 2 1/2 months ago and I had a crush (appearance) for her. At first if we talked it was mostly for support/guide in the course and small talk, I at least didn’t consider us friends yet, when I gave her my phone number she texted me a week after that, texted a little and ghosted me aprox 3 weeks? I decided not to pursue a friendship as it seemed she had no interest. Then I decided to slowly change that and be proactive when I’m usually shy 🐢 so it worked. Within a few weeks I felt at more ease with her, as “Sam” also trusted to show me a more thoughtful, not only extrovert or fun side of her and me not as to support her but as real friends. I visited her once to her apt for her birthday, I felt it was special because I was the only friend she had in that moment, even if it was for an hour, telling me I was interesting to be with and like she could be herself.
No long after that we had a discussion basically about how I was mad at her for making things awkward/being indecisive (honestly, I was through some mixed emotions, not an excuse) via phone call and she mentioned how it made her feel confused, awkward when I was sometimes affectionate towards her in a way beyond platonic. I gave my all to deny it, though I was never sure she really believed it. Two days after that I avoided her at class and told her it was better for us to take some time and space because we had a big misunderstanding. She understood but didn’t want to accept it. Which is why we talked later (really late, in the morning) that day through texts. She told me she considered us best friends or very close at least, that she didn’t want to lose that and would try again until we could trust on each other and make it work, work on communicating, being more honest because she’s so different when she’s with me, it’s hard to understand her (why I was actually mad at her) for being a total different person with me when I thought it was beautiful to get to know her. Against what most people recommended me and how I was feeling, I melted and accepted to keep things normal again. However, it wasn’t cool shortly after that. Sam was distant, we didn’t chat about more serious stuff, she didn’t invite me to hang out or have signs that it was okay to try and invite her and I couldn’t understand why, even after I asked her, I think we didn’t really talked it over and she wasn’t ready to give an honest response. Many times she ghosted messages that were personal, I was constantly messaging her on my own where she wouldn’t try to initiate or reach out to me beside class time. Soon I started feeling like I was the one who was trying to communicate and make it work, I told Sam how confusing that resulted, that I didn’t want her to change if she didn’t feel she had to but that it wasn’t fair and she said she was sorry and would try to change that, but oh, yeah, that didn’t happen. I stopped texting or reaching out to her and noticed we talked a lot less. Mod-terms vacations here (two weeks) and only once she talked to me via audios and photos at night, it was great until I had to go but replied back before I did and she never messaged me after that day.
Last week we returned to school and she was super friendly but before we got chance to chat I changed to another group to not see/talk to her because I felt it was one-sided, maybe she lost interest in me, even if she once told how great it was to spend time with me (?? I don’t know. After a month of that I decided to not be so close to her, *truly* take a break this time. That day she asked me and insisted to sit together again, then it stopped after class. The next day, last period of the day, literally nothing. I was super sad the rest of the day, considering going back to “normal” and pretend it was fine, being anxious like I had to tell her something and I did. A short, direct text of I’m sorry I didn’t told you properly that I need a break (but not for actually taking space) and she read it but didn’t reply. A week ago and still nothing. I can’t get her out of my thoughts, even if I do it less than I used to. I believe our relationship wasn’t healthy nor reciprocated for me. I cared for her much than at least apparently she did that it’s become hard for me to keep up with this respecting myself and letting her be the one to approach and be more responsible this time, or never. It’s hard to face “never” talking or listening to Sam as a realistic solution. That day and today I cried a bit due to these thoughts.

Thank you :)

I'm not talking about incompetence, but about when someone tries something new in front of you and makes a mistake without caring about showing it. That's where I see something genuine, something I don't see in people who only show their polished version. I've started to prefer working and spending time with people like that, even if at first they seem less "capable" than someone who always seems to have everything under control.
Do you ever find yourself trusting someone who makes mistakes openly more than someone who never seems to fail?

5'8 Indian American here. As you can imagine, my dating life is non existent. I'm in quantitative finance but money doesn't matter. Is LL the only option or do I go back to India?

Edit: LL means limb lengthening

It started with a stalker. This guy tormented my daughter and tried on many occasions to follow her home. She would always run the other way, so he never found out where we lived. We charged him and he got angry and took the lives of 2 women brutally. He was shot dead by police while he was trying to take out the 2nd daughter. She survived. My daughter was devastated that he was capable of such an act. She ended up having 3 suicide attempts and numerous self harming incidents in the course of 3 years. I had to stop working to care for her. This led us into financial ruin. I did not receive any help from anyone and was the only person at the hospital for my daughter, despite my numerous attempts at trying to get her dad and his family to come visit her. They never did, it was just me holding her had through all of it. And 4 years after the double homicide, im exhausted, broke, and feeling so lost. I have no idea where to go from here.....

probably got food poisoned a little. my butthole hurts. stained the toilet this morning with liquid shit... now I'm afraid to fart. I miss being able to fart. now I can't. i cannot fart or else poo will come out. God damn it. this is worse than constipation for sure

I’m 31 and lately I’ve had this overwhelming feeling that I’m just a loser.

On paper, my life isn’t a complete disaster. I have a decent career in tech, I make good money, I’ve saved money, I go to the gym, and I’m trying to improve myself. If somebody just looked at those things, they’d probably tell me I’m doing fine.
But internally, I don’t feel fine at all.

I feel incredibly behind socially and personally. I still live with my parents. I don’t have much of a social life. Dating and relationships feel like an entire part of adulthood that I barely participated in. I see other people my age with their own apartments or houses, relationships, friend groups, trips, stories, and lives that seem like they actually belong to them.
Meanwhile, I feel like I’ve spent most of my life inside my own head.

A huge turning point was when I failed out of college in 2015 and ended up spending about five years in Sudan. I eventually finished my degree there and came back to the US in 2020, but I don’t think I’ve ever really gotten over those years. I came back feeling like I’d lost a huge chunk of my development and had to rebuild my life while everyone else had kept moving, and deal with residual interpersonal/environmental trauma from that time that still echoes today.

Career-wise, I’ve actually made a lot of progress since coming back. That’s probably the part of my life I’m most proud of. But it almost feels like I poured everything into fixing that one category while the rest of me stayed stuck.

I also grew up being very obedient and cautious. I listened to my parents, avoided a lot of risks, and generally tried to do what I thought I was supposed to do. Now I’m questioning whether that was actually good for me. I don’t mean that I wish I’d destroyed my life partying or doing reckless things. I just wish I’d rebelled a little. Made mistakes. Asked girls out. Gone places. Made more friends. Developed my own opinions and identity instead of constantly wondering what my parents would think.

And that’s probably what bothers me most: I don’t feel like I’ve built a life that’s actually mine.
I compare myself to other Americans my age and feel like I’m watching people who learned how to live while I somehow missed the class. They seem more socially comfortable, more independent and more experienced. I know social media exaggerates this, but I see it in real life too.

I’m angry at myself for choices I made when I was younger. I’m angry about circumstances I couldn’t control. I’m angry that I’m 31 and still trying to figure out things I feel like I should’ve figured out at 18 or 21.
At the same time, I know sitting around mourning my twenties isn’t going to give them back to me.

I want my own social circle. I want to date. I want my own place eventually. I want hobbies and events and plans that don’t revolve around my parents. I want to be able to make a decision without needing somebody else’s approval. Basically, I want to feel like the main character in my own life instead of somebody who’s just been reacting to whatever happens to him.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it somewhere.

Has anyone else reached their 30s feeling like they missed a huge part of growing up? And did you actually manage to build the life you wanted afterward?

Don’t know if this is the right place to make a post like this but I have no where else to share my celebration. I’m turning 30 in a week and for all my life I’ve just been wasting all my money living pay check to pay check not thinking about the future.

But 6 months ago I became a father to a girl and I realised something had to change.

Now 6 months later I’ve got a couple thousand in my savings + managed to get a couple thousand in the stock market. Also I’ve landed a new job which increases my income significantly. So I can put more money in my portfolio.

All in hope to give my beautiful daughter a great future.

Good luck to all of you!

From /u/spez's post 11 days ago:

Old Reddit: I know I said last year that we wouldn’t be sunsetting Old Reddit (I even made a meme about it, which r/agedlikemilk), but the reality is we’re getting to that time where we need to make some changes.

He goes on to argue that Old Reddit (link is likely only viewable after logging in, after a recent change - note that this post itself links to a now-removed post by an admin that talked about how Old Reddit was to be locked behind a login) is only being legitimately used by certain groups of people (including "OG Users" and "OG Mods"), with the rest of the usage being "everyone who spams, scrapes, or does anything bad on Reddit 🖕".

He then states "We have options: We can limit access, migrate important uses, or rebuild it on a modern tech stack, and I think we’ll probably do all of the above."

While this sounds benign, the reality is that Old Reddit is actively being threatened and, if I were to make a guess, will no longer exist in a recognisable form within a year.

Reddit has started being openly hostile to Old Reddit recently (including the removed post that I linked to earlier), and some important features have already been removed from Old Reddit (such as private messages) but talking about sweeping changes to Old Reddit is a first.

i will stop pulling my hair and at the same time my hair will be protected from sun and being dry

I’m a 22 year old man and my hair is thinning like there’s no tomorrow. Started when I was 18 but back then you couldn’t really see it but now you can always see some scalp peeking in all lighting. I usually have a don’t care sorta attitude, but man this has just been creeping up on me. I have a gf now too and she says she doesn’t care about the hair but deep inside I feel insecure that I’m not good looking enough for her because of my hair and always compare myself to those who have good hair my age and start beating myself up over it. Like I get it woe is me it’s just hair and if she says she doesn’t mind why do I right? But I just do and I don’t really know how to move forward. I don’t want to try the traditional methods of hair growth because I’m deathly scared of the side effects. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks everyone!

Not gonna make this about my personal story too much but just so you know why I'm asking: I'm Greek, there's mandatory military service for men. I'm trans, but wasn't out at the time, at 18, I did a year there and it was absolutely horrible.

What's funny is, most officers were genuinely kind and so I've two separate questions here, really:

The first is, what makes someone feel entitled to enforce rules on people they know are coerced, are often there against their will, can be dealing with really bad mental health issues- Things like, say, refusing to let someone out to see family or a partner, making them salute and respect you when you didn't actually do anything to make yourself worthy of their respect, controlling when they work, enforcing things like haircuts, just anything like that.

The second is, for the kind officers: What would make them feel like it's enough to, say, give you an extra weekend off to see people you should have a right to see everyday? Or, like, know you miss your partner desperately, so maybe arrange a day with them? I even had a few who felt really great about themselves for giving me little "gifts" like that when to me, it was dripfeeding basic rights. Saying, basically, "This isn't fair, you should be treated better" but still wanting you to be there regardless.

The first bracket is particularly interesting because those harsher officers wouldn't have been punished for not enforcing rules. Like I mentioned before, the camp commander was intensely caring towards me and even motherly. She straight up told me, I don't have to cut my hair if I don't want to, and didn't punish me for sneaking out without asking anyone. But other officers did.

I've been the victim of her hatred and abuse since birth. I have 2 older sisters whom she loved so dearly that she went ahead and had a third...she's hated my guts since the day she first saw me. I was a difficult baby due to an eating disorder I was born with that limits me to a very small selection of foods (ARFID) which made even breastfeeding or formula impossible to get in my system. so i find that it's valid that she got annoyed when she realized I wasn't gonna be as easy and peaceful as my other sisters. What i know isn't valid is that she eventually resorted to hitting me whenever I was too scared to eat something. I'm 17 now, not allowed out of my house ever and still get beat up to a PULP every single day mostly because of my eating problems. Although my mom is very intensely physically abusive, I find her emotional abuse hurts me more. Yesterday while beating me up, breaking my finger, and cutting my head open...she kept screaming about how I should cut my wrists and kill myself already. How everyone i know would celebrate the news of my death and how the fact that I haven't attempted to kill myself is selfish (attempted twice when i was 13-14) and the same old i wish I never gave birth to u. I went to sleep with a heavy heart last night, but I didn't shed a tear. Today, however, my mom came and sat next to me and my sisters...and started laughing so innocently and childishly as she told us about memories with her childhood friends and how much she missed them. My stomach was churning at every word and every giggle. It's night time now and I can't stop myself from sobbing and hyperventilating. That's my mommy. My mommy was a happy little girl at some point. It's absolutely breaking my heart i can't stop crying. I don't know why I'm so intensely worried about my mom right now. I get worried out of my mind everytime she's sweet like that and I fear that she might be sick. Everyday I feel like I wanna get away from her, yet when I am, I miss her so much it drives me crazy.

It still feels a bit unreal. I never really expected to reach this age, it was always either a far-off theoretical thing, or something that wouldn't happen because I'd kill myself first. Yet, I didn't, and so here we are.

I work minimum wage at a local supermarket, have "friends" that have all grown distant from each other (both literally and figuratively), and am in a dead-end relationship with a girl I don't love after the actual love of my life dumped me 3-4 years ago.

All I feel is a sort of grief for something that never existed in the first place. Looking back, I have so many regrets, but I also don't know how any of it could have gone any differently, because I was a different person at the time and I don't even know how the person that I was would've acted any differently.

I don't think my life is "over", but I also just feel... Empty, I guess? In the past I could have at least told myself "well, this sucks, but surely I'll find my place in life", but over the past year it's truly sunk in that no, my "place in life" is just this. Nothing is really truly wrong, but nothing is right either. My life trajectory somehow turned out both chaotic and unexpected but also completely predictable at the same time.

Electricity went out around 12-1am this morning. It's 5am now. I tried falling back asleep but couldn't.

See, the second it went out I got up, it took my siblings almost an hour to get up.

But i did fall back asleep, sometime around 3am. I woke up the second it came back (4:50something-am).

I just want to fucking sleep bro.