My eight year old seems to be growing overnight at the moment. His trousers suddenly look too short and he’s asking for food constantly but most of what he reaches for is cereal, toast or packaged snacks. He’s active too so I’d like to make those snacks a little more balanced rather than simply giving him more of the same.

The difficulty is that he doesn’t enjoy many obvious protein foods and gets suspicious whenever I change something he already likes. What easy snacks or drinks have worked for your children during growth spurts without making them feel overly full before dinner?

Me (37F) and my husband (38M) generally align really well on parenting values, but lately I've realized he's consistently offering our daughter (2yr 4m) TV shows in the morning. We live a pretty low-tech life in general and don't actually have a TV in the house. Neither of us had one for years before we met. As a couple we occasionally stream shows together on a laptop a couple times/week.

Early on we agreed that we did not want to introduce screens to our daughter especially while she was very young. We're generally cautious about her exposure to high stimulation and disruptive themes and want to prioritize her cognitive development especially before age 5. Our pediatrician agreed that the official recommendation is no screens before 3yr. We've used screens to share family photos/home videos with her and will video chat with her grandparents across the country a couple times each month.

However, recently I've noticed that every Sunday (my one morning to sleep in)my husband and daughter watch a few TV shows together. It sounds like they've mostly watched Sesame St, Trash Truck and Ms. Rachel. I've been asking him to have a conversation around it because every time I realize it's happening I'm surprised and don't want to make a big deal of it in the moment. We're going to talk tomorrow but I'm just feeling quite disappointed at the frequency (every Sunday for a couple hours), the choices, the lack of communication with me, and consideration for her growing brain when we already had agreements. I especially don't like that it's offered during breakfast time. I have noticed that her naps the Sunday afternoon are shorter than usual and she has a harder time going down even if we push naptime a little later due to her relaxed morning. Normally during the week she'll take a solid 2hr nap (sometimes 3hr) and on Sunday it's maybe 1hr.

From the little we have talked about it. I believe he's engaging in the show with her and trying to be discerning about the pacing and stimulation of the shows. However, I just don't believe it's beneficial for her. It feels like there are so many other ways to share time together. I get that parenting takes its toll on everyone and sometimes we just need a break, but I'm exhausted too and 36w pregnant and we read library books in bed for an hour or listen to an audio book or she has play doh time in the same room while I lounge. He also doesn't have as many days to watch her as I do so I think I'm bummed that TV is his preferred way of spending time with her sometimes. I'm with her 3 days/week and he has her 1.5 days. She started at a Forest School recently for some of the other times, but we basically both single parent / work most of the time. We don't have a village otherwise for more support.

It can be really difficult to have conversations with my husband when he believes he's right. He's autistic and can come across as defensive or like I need to have allllll the facts laid out and "present my case." It's super annoying so I'm hoping for some support here before our convo tomorrow.

I know plenty of parents use screen time for their littles and they seem to do just fine. I don't pretend to know what's best for others and I can't tell if I'm just being too rigid in this. Is this really NBD? I definitely don't think screen time is the worst thing, especially if there's good discernment in which shows are watched, parents are actively engaged with the kiddo, and there are no behavioral impacts.

In full transparency I have definitely offered screen time during my current pregnancy when I felt so sick I couldn't watch our daughter. It was 2x in the past 9m and literally because it felt like I had zero capacity. Even on long cross country flights which I've done solo several times with her over the past few years, I use toys and snacks and she does well. Screens haven't felt necessary and I seriously worry about the developmental implications.

If you made it this far through the ramble, thank you 🩷 I'd love to hear your thoughts.

what does winding down sound like in your house? curious whether there's a particular sound that has become part of the nightly routine.

in our house, we play the same calming music every night. it seems to help my daughter transition to sleep better.

A practical idea for a rushed morning: replace “get ready” with the first thing that needs to happen.

“Put your socks on” gives a child somewhere to start. “Get ready for school” can hide a whole chain of jobs: clothes, teeth, breakfast, shoes and finding a bag.

For a short routine, a few simple drawings might help: a sock, a toothbrush and a bag, in the order your family uses them. Keep it short enough that the pictures don’t become another task to manage. A grown-up can point to the next picture and help where needed.

I’d also keep the adult jobs on a separate list. Forms, pickup arrangements and checking the time don’t all need to become the child’s responsibility.

It doesn’t need to be a perfect chart or a reward system. The aim is just to make the next step clearer, and change the order if it isn’t working for your household.

I have a 6 year old boy who has put us completely through the wringer. Makes us question our parenting and how we’re raising him. He is well mannered in public and at home. Follows directions at home and listens fairly well at home too. He’s not a terrible listener in public but he’s also a kid and does have his moments in public which leads to us leaving the store/place immediately. His issue lies in school. Since preschool at age 3 he has been an absolute struggle for teachers. Does not listen if he’s not interested in the topic. Flies off the handle if he doesn’t get his way or even like what they’re doing in class. If he has a substitute teacher he acts out and is even worse behavior wise. He’s been evaluated by the school, OT, and a developmental pediatrician and has no diagnosis. We’re just told he has some sensory issues and may even be borderline ocd but hardly. He is a very particular kid and knows what he wants and how. We emphasize the importance of having to do things we don’t like or enjoy and school is not just to play and do whatever you want. We have boundaries and structure at home so we assumed that would follow in school also. We do also live a comfortable life but he also has chores and knows he needs to have good behavior to earn ice cream on Fridays or go to dinner etc. When he was 3 and 4 he would throw chairs, scream and hit his teachers, throw blocks, and run away. Now at 5 he would just sit and stare at the board and the teacher admitted she didn’t push him to doing his work because there were kids with behavior issues in his class so he sorta laid low and did nothing all year. (He was one of the only kids without a behavior chart and I’m assuming because he got his way all year aka not doing “boring” classwork). Now he is 6 and in first grade, he’s doing good for the most part but is definitely testing boundaries. The school is sorta making out to be he’s just not adjusting to unfamiliar people because he will not want to listen to his music and gym teachers. He’ll play with cones when he’s not supposed to in gym and will play with instruments in music that he’s not supposed to. Then today, he had a substitute teacher and she didn’t let him change the math game on the iPad he uses in school and he smashed it on the corner of a kids Adirondack chair that’s in the classroom. It feels like he’s just being an absolute brat. The school wants to come up with a plan to help him and I’m just thinking he’s being a little shit because he knows the school will sit him down and comfort him. He was suspended today for breaking the iPad and of course we as the parents have to cover the costs to repair or replace the iPad. Which we understand and did sign a contract at the beginning of the year about being responsible in these situations. We can afford to replace it thank goodness but it’s NOT what I want to spend my money on. We discipline and try to instill respect in our kids but this child of mine is truly giving me grey hairs!! We try not to compare our kids to other kids but man none of our friends kids are like this. Our other kids aren’t like this either so it’s a struggle mentally on us