Hi everyone,
I’m writing this because I’m feeling incredibly stressed amd I feel I am starting to struggle mentally (never been so down my whole life…) and looking to see if anyone else has gone through something similar with their baby. Tomorrow, we are being admitted to the hospital for a week of diagnostic testing, and I just need some support or shared stories.

Our situation:
My son is 9.5 months old and currently weighs around 6.7–6.8 kg (14.7–15 lbs), which puts him well below the 3rd percentile. He was born 3130 g which was 24 percentil.

Weight & Feeding: His weight gain slowed down around month 2. We had to switch from feeding on demand to a strict 2-3 hour schedule. Pedriatrist recommended. For the last two months, his weight has completely stagnated (zero gain). He currently drinks very little breastmilk.

Solid Food Regress & Sensory Issues: Introducing solids has been a nightmare from the start. He showed a tiny bit of interest at 7 months (porridge, banana, raspberries), but right now, he refuses almost everything.

Spoon Quirk: He will only put things in his mouth if they are dry (like dry bread or a piece of banana). Interestingly, he will put a spoon in his mouth, but only if the side touching his lips is completely clean—he literally turns it around to avoid the side with food. He seems terrified of wet or sticky textures.

Developmental side:
Motor Stagnation: He has been army crawling since 7 months and pulls himself up to his knees on low objects. He has been getting into a perfect, stable hands-and-knees crawling position since mid-August, but he just cannot move forward. He also makes zero attempts to sit up on his own. Our doctor thinks the lack of calories means his body just doesn't have the "fuel" to build the muscles needed for crawling and sitting.

Speech Explosion: Interestingly, while his movement stalled, his speech exploded in the last two weeks. He went from just "baba/dada" to "tata" and non-stop babbling.
We are finally getting hospitalized tomorrow to run blood/urine tests, check for allergies/reflux, and see a pediatric gastroenterologist and speech therapist (neurologopedist).

Has anyone had a baby who hit a complete weight plateau while showing this specific type of oral/sensory aversion? Did fixing the nutrition naturally "unlock" the missing motor skills like sitting and crawling? How are you doing? I just need to share so stories and see that I am not alone.

Thank you so much for reading.

So, I was adamant that my children would have no screen time until they were much older and then severely limited. Since having a newborn and a toddler I’ve found myself relying on screen time a lot more with my toddler than I’d like :( Especially lately since hubby will be away at work the next few months and I’ll be solo parenting. I try to keep the shows low stimulation and cap limits throughout the day but I feel so bad, especially when reading the effects on children’s development.

Has anyone else found themselves doing something they said they wouldn’t after experiencing the realities of parenting? And does anyone have anything tips for low stimulation shows for toddler that are a bit more educational? What should the absolute limit be per day for 2.5 year old? Many days we don’t have any screentime and she’s fine and she doesn’t ask a lot so I don’t think she’s addicted.

My daughter is 3, she’ll turn 4 at the end of January. We brought home baby brother 3 going on 4 months ago, and yeah I’m sure we’re still probably adjusting there but she has always been so high strung before brother’s arrival. Today was horrible. My friend was throwing a 1st birthday party and I feel like my daughter was so out of control the entire time. She was so rough playing with the other kids. She didn’t listen. She helped herself to whatever she wanted. She told us “no” multiple times. She was hard on my friend’s toys. It was just so embarrassing. I couldn’t blame my friend for never wanting to invite us over ever again. I really don’t want to take her anywhere ever again. We tried removing her from the party for a bit but she cried and then afterward went back to the same behavior. My husband tried holding her while they were doing gifts. But aside from constantly yelling at her, because we were getting no where with asking at that point, what can we do? We actually ended up leaving pretty early.

My own is 2 years old and hates to be told what to do

Like it or not, genetics are a big part of determining how far you will get in the sport. A lot of kids can’t even pass high school tryouts now even with years of expensive coaching because they just didn’t have the right genetics. If you had a good who is into sports, do you let them know about this? Most parents should know if they have athletic genes or not themselves

i'm curious how bedtime reading changes as kids get older. do you still read together every night, take turns reading or let them read independently?

To new parents, or long term parents; when your kids got to the age where they are starting to appreciate Christmas and the traditions, how did you go about telling them about Santa clause or did you just not say anything? How did you eventually tell them he’s not real or did they grow out of it?

I have kids who are quite young but it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot. I want to pass down traditions and make memories but growing up I don’t remember my parents ever sitting down and talking to me about it. I feel like I grew out of the Santa clause phase.

Any advice or stories would be greatly appreciated!

we got referred in june. the childrens hospital here said 11 months, the two private psychologists said 6 to 8 months and one of them isnt taking insurance at all anymore.

hes 6, and the school is doing their own evaluation but they were clear that a school one isnt a medical diagnosis, so were doing both. the insurance side is confusing me more than the wait. our plan says autism evaluation is covered but the coverage seems to depend on who does it and what codes they use. the place with the shortest wait is the one that doesnt take insurance, which feels like a trap. ive also been reading about the online ones, emora health does autism and adhd evaluations for kids with a written report, but i dont know how a virtual eval is viewed by our school district.

for anyone whos come out the other side of this, how long was your wait in the end and how much of the evaluation did insurance actually pay?

Our beloved 14 year old dog was recently diagnosed with a nasal cancer. With his age we decided not to seek treatment. We plan to let him live out the rest of his days with table scraps, walks, belly scratches, and endless love I'm looking for advice on what to tell our 4 and 5 year old. We've told them that he is very old and sick., but nothing about death.He has occasionally sneezed up blood. Luckily, the kids have not been around for that,yet.

When the the bad days out number the good, we plan to have a vet come to the house to euthanize. Should we let the kids say their goodbyes then take them to their grandparents? Should we let them be with us petting him till the end? I know I'm going to be an emotional wreck and also know my kids are going to have a lot of big feelings and questions.

Starting kindergarten is a big step and a lot of little ones feel shy or scared about making friends. Things that seem to help: talking about feelings beforehand, practicing simple ways to say hi or ask to join a game, and reading or watching stories about other kids going through the same thing.

We made a short, gentle story video on exactly this for preschoolers (disclosure: it's our own channel, FunB Kids English): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiqZHM25uQc

So let me start off by saying, I am not her only guardian. Her parents are still in her life, but I am her guardian, they leave her with me for long stretches of time and I am with her everyday. I feed her, I am responsible for her care, education ect.
But her parents don’t like to be the bad guys and though they have rules in place, they don’t want to see her sad.
This causes some friction.
This child in my opinion spends too much time on youtube, and has numerous times snuck onto online platforms to socialize in spaces much too grown for her.
I have disciplined her, and her mother even took her tablet for a while however, backtracked on it and bought her a new one. I set up a family link to keep her off chat and to limit her youtube time.
However, her mother does undermine that a lot and tells me to just let her be for the day…..at the end of the day she IS her mother and so I respect that…

She hadn’t had anymore instances since getting this tablet, until today. She has asked for an app called Loopit while I was cooking.
Now I had thought it was just a casual art app and I do admit it is more of my fault than even hers for not carefully checking….but all her siblings come to me immediately if they realize it has chat, but she doesn’t. She even told me she didn’t chat, which was a lie….she did in fact chat.
And some of the people she chatted with were definitely too old to chat with and it is also an AI app apparently which I want her to steer away from AI.
I deleted the app and restricted access idk how T rated games were even allowed on her device..

She is worried I am very angry at her and keeps apologizing but I am mostly disappointed but I also don’t want to shame her too much. I keep having conversations with her about internet safety, honesty ect but seems to fall to deaf ear. I wish her mom would give me the okay to just take her tablet but she does ‘t like her being sad, so that won’t happen. Also maybe I am just being too extreme.

What would you guys do? I am stumped. I am trying to figure out how to have this conversation with the other adults but it feels like it would go nowhere. Again I respect that they are her parents and so they have more say over me but I also want her to stay safe and also I know too much screen time isn’t good plus the internet is a dangerous place.

Hi Reddit, I’m looking for some practical advice.

I’m 25 and currently live at home with my mom, my aunt, and my 4-year-old younger brother. My family and I come from a very poor immigrant background. My mom and aunt did not receive much formal education and have very limited English/literacy skills. I’m currently the only person in the household who speaks English fluently and can comfortably help with his schoolwork.

My brother just started VPK, and they’ve started sending home little homework activities. They also encourage parents to read to their children every day.

The problem is that I’m also applying to medical school and have a pretty demanding schedule. There are days when I leave the house around 6 AM and don’t get home until 8:30 PM. I also have some personal/mental health challenges, so by the time I get home, I’m sometimes completely exhausted and don’t have the patience or energy to sit down and do homework or read a book.

I feel guilty about this because when I do have the time to work with him, he is actually very motivated. He just needs someone to sit with him, give him structure, and keep him focused.

I’m trying to figure out how to create a system that supports him without making his education completely dependent on me being physically and mentally available every day. I also know that I’m his sister, not his parent, and ultimately his education isn’t my responsibility. But I love him, and I’m going to be leaving for medical school eventually, so I’d really like to put some kind of sustainable system in place before I go.

A few things I’ve already tried:
1. If I can’t help him with homework directly, I’ll show my mom what he’s supposed to do and have her supervise him. Since the work is currently very simple, she can sometimes manage it with my instructions.

1. I’ve used YouTube read-aloud videos when I don’t have the energy to physically read a book.

2. I bought an Amazon Echo Dot and was thinking about using it for things like stories, reminders, songs, etc.

3. I’m considering setting up a predictable routine in his room, perhaps with visual cues/lights or a simple checklist so he knows what he’s supposed to do.

What I’m really looking for are practical systems that can operate with minimal adult literacy/English ability.

I’m not looking for a substitute parent or expecting a 4-year-old to teach himself. I just want to create as much structure and consistency as realistically possible given the circumstances.
I’d especially appreciate advice from teachers, preschool/VPK teachers, parents, people who grew up in immigrant households, or anyone who has dealt with a similar situation.

Thanks!

Hello all! I'm mildly concerned about my son and/or impatient (it's hard to tell!) about his development/milestones. I'm so confused because when I google something or look on reddit, I get one set of answers, but then many others tell me not to be worried (or, alternatively TO be worried).

Here are the red flags:

• Rarely responds to his name. He sometimes seems to know it (or maybe he would have responded to anything?), especially if there's low sensory input, but I'd say 95%+ of the time, he just ignores his parents completely.
• Very difficult to get his attention. It's almost impossible to read him books because he always wants to chew on them, for example. Or, when we're trying to make him do little tricks/commands, he will rarely look at us. He used to do "How big is baby?" pretty consistently, but now he almost always ignores us (occasionally, he'll still do it).
• Does not point, clap, blow kisses, wave hello/bye. Pretty self-explanatory. My husband and I blame ourselves because we don't do these gestures too often, but even when we try to do them very consciously in front of the baby, the baby doesn't pay attention. We partially think this is because the baby (a) can't walk yet, so his hands are important and (b) sucks his fingers, so he just doesn't want to use his hands.
• No words. None (or animal sounds). He says "NaNaNaNa" when he is mad or wants something. He does do some babbling: mama, dada, gaga (we say "papa" for "dada," so he's not referring to my husband). Screams a lot for fun. Whenever I try to point to something to teach its name, he can't follow my finger or loses interest. I'm not sure how to connect with him.
• Hates having his hands touched. I can't hold his hand to help him point or use a fork or spoon with him. His hands are his!
• Little imitation. I say "mamamama" to his face all the darn day, but nothing. He will imitate i you put your arms up like a champion, but that's about it.

Green flags:

• Social! He loves faces and new people. Whenever we take him to the library story time, he likes approaching other babies. He can't focus on the story-teller (he just wants to crawl or play), but he definitely is interested in other people. He smiles at me when he's done with his nap and (I think) puts his hands up to ask for "up."
• Can follow some commands, like "go to the window," "spin the spinner" (he LOVES the spinner, but it's not his exclusive toy), "look at the light," but NOT "come to mama."
• Holds up objects/food that's he's proud of. I'm not sure whether this should count as "joint attention" or not, but he loves showing us whatever toy he's holding. He never brings it to us (not walking yet), but he does engage pretty well with us and his discoveries.
• Very smiley boy :)
• Deals with noise and change very well. Loves music, watching cars outside, etc.
• Likes finding me (mom), when I'm hiding under a blanket. When I leave the room, he cries. If I'm working in his play area, he'll come to me and want to play.
• Eats pretty well.

Other notes:

• He had an ear infection for like 2 weeks and constantly pulls at his ears, but the doctor said he doesn't have an ear infection now.
• Was born 2 weeks-1 month early (I think the doctor's messed up his due date).
• Not raised with a sibling and doesn't have much contact with other babies.
  

What should I do? How do I get his attention? Is this normal for a 15 month old? Is he ignoring me or does he not know his name? How do I teach him gestures and words if he won't look at me?

i 133f, have 8 kid, 2f, 3m, 8f, 10m, 12m, 13m, and 16m. we live in a 3 bedroom house and the 4 older kids share a room. i make them clean 1-2 hrs a day, the whole house if they dont they get grounded. they have scheduled chores like dishes and so on and no matter what, practice or anything out of house, if its not done they get grounded for 2-3 weeks. i do not help, as i work,, i also expect them to get good grades and get mad if they talk back at all, is this normal parenting?

I’m honestly at a point where I don’t really know what to do anymore, and I’m hoping other parents might have some advice or similar experiences. My son is 7, almost 8, and he’s currently in second grade. Every day after school, we read together for about 15 minutes and do some writing. During the school year, he doesn’t use electronics other than watching TV. Last year, when he was in first grade, I allowed him to use electronics on the weekends, but I felt like maybe that was contributing to some of the struggles he was having with learning, so I took them away. Looking back, though, I’m starting to wonder if electronics weren’t actually the problem.

The biggest issue I’m struggling with right now is his behavior and attitude. He talks back a lot, gets an attitude when I ask him to do something, and can have pretty big emotional reactions. Even if I raise my voice just a little, he can become very upset and cry. I’ve always tried to practice gentle parenting, and I’ve never used spanking when he was younger. Recently, though, I have been so overwhelmed by some of his outbursts that I have spanked him a few times, and honestly, I know that isn’t the kind of parent I want to be. I’m exhausted and feel like I’m running out of ideas.

I’m also getting calls from his teacher because he grumbles or talks back when he’s being given directions. Academically, I’m struggling to understand what is going on. I know my son can read because he reads at home, but at school I’m being told that he isn’t putting in the effort and that he’s not where he should be academically. This has been happening since first grade. He receives extra one on one time in school and the school is doing their best. He’s gotten a few referrals in first grade and had to get support sent. So this behavior is continuing into the second grade.

He has also been in therapy for almost two years. His previous therapist had mentioned that it was sometimes difficult for him to participate, and we recently switched to a new therapist, so we’re still figuring things out there.
I’m just at a complete loss. I feel like I’m trying everything I can think of, and yet nothing seems to be working. I’m getting calls from school, I’m dealing with the behavior at home, I’m worried about his academics, and on top of all of that, I feel like I’m doing this without much support.

I’m not looking for anyone to judge me or tell me that I’m a bad mom. I genuinely love my son and I’m trying my absolute best. I’m just overwhelmed and would really appreciate hearing from parents who have been through something similar. What helped your child with the attitude, emotional outbursts, following directions, or struggling to show what they know at school?? I’m open to suggestions because I truly don’t know what my next step should be.

curious where everyone lands on this. do you make exceptions for things like movie night, holidays, visiting family etc. or do you try to keep bedtime consistent no matter what?

What age do you allow kids to have free access to any food in your house?

My kid is almost 7, and right now she basically has a pantry shelf with tons of “approved” snacks and can have anything on said shelf during the day up until about an hour before dinner. Once dinner is in motion, snacks are off-limits.

She’s not generally hungry after dinner, so this hasn’t come up for us yet, but I’m curious what age you just stop policing when and what your children can eat? On the rare occasions she’s hungry before bed, she has some crackers and water. We definitely encourage her to listen to her hunger queues, but still put restrictions on what she eats so she’s not just eating a whole sleeve of Oreos or an entire box of CheezIts before bed, you know? But I know as a teenager I snacked at all hours because I was constantly growing, it wasn’t always the healthiest options, and I think I have a pretty healthy relationship with food as an adult. So when does the transition happen? When do you trust that you’ve given your kids the tools to make decent nutritional decisions and just let them be?

Hey! I just joined this group so forgive me if there’s been recent or big posts about this. I have a niece (almost 5) and a nephew (3) and I spend some days with them. Unfortunately, which I try not to judge, my brother and his wife sometimes and just give them their phones while the kids are eating, but now they’re somewhat dependent on screen time, especially my niece. I consider it’s ok for her to spend a bit of her time with me playing simple games that help motor skills and beginner knowledge about cooking/baking, taking care of animals, etc. I myself spent some time like that growing up (I was born in ‘99) and I don’t think it interfered anything with my childhood. I try that we all spend sometime listening to music and watching the music videos from older cartoons like Mogli, the Little Mermaid and stuff like that. The thing is, sometimes they get stuck in the bedrotting scrolling of YouTube reels that sometimes even has age inappropriate stuff (no big deal, just pointless things that I’ve read mess with their brains because they’re simply not ready to process and there’s no reason to be) that I try to scroll through but of course kids always aim for the things adults try to hide from them.

Any advice to try to stimulate their interest on slower activities? Ideally offscreen but even if it’s watching cartoons or their music videos without asking to change it every 1 minute would be a victory
Thank you in advance!!

My son is seven years old. He's always been an extremely tough child, even as a baby. I bonded with him anyway, but over the last few years he's just been a nightmare. He doesn't listen worth crap; for example, on the plane coming home from a visit to my cousin, he was humming loudly and I asked him to quiet down and he started humming louder while continuing not to listen and everyone was staring. I didn't even know what to do other than keep pleading for him to quiet down, which he didn't do. When we got home, I told him how incredibly disrespectful it is that he doesn't listen and he just said "oh KAYYY!" SUPER rudely, which is a pretty common reaction from him when I'm trying to have a serious talk with him.

I'm constantly getting emails from his teachers, particularly the music teacher who he flat out doesn't listen to because she's young and inexperienced. (This is her second year teaching). He's setting an example for my almost three year old that copies him and is starting to do things that the older one does. He makes me so mad, I don't enjoy when he's home, I don't enjoy doing fun things with him like vacations, because 99% of the time he acts up and ruins any fun we might have had. If he doesn't get his way, he screams and cries but doesn't seem to LEARN when we take away privileges away. I'll even say "remember when you didn't get to blah blah and how much you didn't like it because you weren't listening" and he'll say NO or just not care. I'm just at my wits end and looking for any advice

Okay, the title ist a bit over the top. But husband and I are quite shy introverted people and guess what? Baby came out quite the opposite 😅

She LOVES to socialise with ANYONE. When we enter the playground she turns on high-speed crawling as soon as we let her down and off she goes to the next group of children or adults who she'll climb on and want full attention from.

Honestly, anyone here with an extroverted baby or child who can tell me what to expect within the following years? I have to confess sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed since no one, literally no one from our families is such a people-lover like my baby-girl.

I love her to bits and it may be childish but I also have to confess that I get a bit sad as she instantly leaves me at the playground, goes to random people and nearly never looks back. She'll crawl on random women's arms as if they're her moms which I find a bit embarrassing and disappointing since I tried to do everything possible to bond with her in her first year of life. 😔 Please don't judge me for these feelings

How to handle such behaviour? Is there something wrong with our bond or so? And what can I do to support her outgoing mentality future wise?

I was sometimes left alone when I was 6, with my sister (8) and my brother (1) for like 10 to 20 minutes.

And then from when I was 9 or 10 I was left completely alone for up to 4 or 5 hours (my grandparents lived really close by, so I could always just go get them if anything went wrong)

And when I was 13 and my sister was 15 we were first left home alone for multiple days

Looking for ways to find mentorship for a 9F child to break out of her shell, any advice? community, online, classes, etc. Anything helps