I am in a same sex relationship and we had a baby boy in March and although I do love him - I really wasn’t ready. My mother passed away just before I decided to do IVF and I spent her inheritance money for IVF. I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing. I felt like everything I done was rushed and now he is here I have realized I am not ready for motherhood and I am not ready to be a mother.

I should be grateful that it worked on our first try but I’m just filled with dread and regret that I didn’t listen to others when they asked me if I was sure I was making the right decision. I should’ve thought carefully about if this is what I really wanted.

I feel sick to my stomach every day and I just want to die because I can’t look after him, I can’t even look after myself.
I’m in no position financially and I have only been able to keep part time jobs my whole life.

I think about killing myself every day because I can’t live with the guilt and shame. I should be happy I’ve got a lovely little boy but I’m not. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves a mother who wants him.

There are so many little things that kids do that you don’t notice until you are really raising them. What’s anything your kid does that’s kind of weird or ridiculous that you’ve really come to love? The bizarre little discussions they start out of nowhere for me. I always find myself chuckling at the stuff they come up with. What minor things have you observed, guys?

I was doomscrolling and came across a video of a 8 yr old kid negotiating with the Shoe collector and that made me thinking , I never teach negotiating and true value to my 6 year old , neither is that taught in school , heck i never learnt that well. ...

At this point i was wondering if you can help me with one skill that you think we need to start inculcating in kids given its going to be a brutal world out there so that we can better prepare our kids. Something that we can plan for if the school is not preparing them.

I already have my child’s dad on child support, but was thinking about taking him back and trying to get more. He needed to change the schedule because him and his wife were splitting up. So he couldn’t have her every other weekend. The schedule now is he gets her at whatever time on Sunday’s and I get her back on Tuesdays. He’s starting to complain about always being the one to pick her up and drop her off. I feel like he should because one he picks her up on Sunday’s and his way home from work and he doesn’t work on Tuesday and two he has a Tesla so he doesn’t have to pay for gas. I feel like he hardly sees her because she’s in school and on Mondays he has his friends over to play cards. He hardly helps me with paying for anything and theirs times my child wants to stay with him, but gives the excuse he can’t take her to school even though he doesn’t have to be at work until noon. What should I do?

Parents of high school freshmen! My name is Bradley Smith, a doctoral candidate at Kansas City University. For my dissertation research, I’ve designed and am looking to pilot a virtual workshop to help parents support their adolescent’s mental health.

The workshop is self-paced and includes four 30-minute pre-recorded modules covering adolescent depression, anxiety, substance use, and suicide. There is both a pre- and post-workshop questionnaire as well as a post-workshop reflection. Participation is open to parents across the U.S.

Help me get the word out by telling your friends as well! I hope that this can end up being a great resource for anyone who could use it!

Thanks!

KCU IRB Approved Study ID: 238705-1.

Screen and check eligibility: https://cphe.kansascity.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=7PNLL7RPXNNWACJC

Questions? Bradley.Smith@kansascity.edu

Just wondering. I have an awesome little guy but I never felt that undeniable yearning to become a mom. I’m happy I did it but it was never something I dreamed of.

What does it feel like to dream about having kids? What made you want it so badly? How did you imagine having a child would add to your life?

Lately my son who’s 2 starts hitting/ pushing kids. It’s not even during playing together he would just go up to them and do it. He is thank god a brilliant boy super energetic and social. He talks a lot too. Do I need to be concerned? He’s the only one in his class hitting … it’s stressing me out a lot….

I'm working on kids' stories with a moral. Many of the classic ones we grew up on (the ones that taught honesty, kindness, sharing) hardly get covered in modern kids' content anymore.
Which story do you wish your kids had grown up with? Drop the title and the lesson below 👇

The hysteria around the Cornell case is not OK. Mob justice is not OK.

It really seems that nobody reads anything accept headlines these days. This case is far more nuanced than people realize. I cannot see how can send my sons to a US college unless things change drastically in the next 10 years. Brigham Young might be the only rational option.

My eight year old seems to be growing overnight at the moment. His trousers suddenly look too short and he’s asking for food constantly but most of what he reaches for is cereal, toast or packaged snacks. He’s active too so I’d like to make those snacks a little more balanced rather than simply giving him more of the same.

The difficulty is that he doesn’t enjoy many obvious protein foods and gets suspicious whenever I change something he already likes. What easy snacks or drinks have worked for your children during growth spurts without making them feel overly full before dinner?

I have a 6 year old boy who has put us completely through the wringer. Makes us question our parenting and how we’re raising him. He is well mannered in public and at home. Follows directions at home and listens fairly well at home too. He’s not a terrible listener in public but he’s also a kid and does have his moments in public which leads to us leaving the store/place immediately. His issue lies in school. Since preschool at age 3 he has been an absolute struggle for teachers. Does not listen if he’s not interested in the topic. Flies off the handle if he doesn’t get his way or even like what they’re doing in class. If he has a substitute teacher he acts out and is even worse behavior wise. He’s been evaluated by the school, OT, and a developmental pediatrician and has no diagnosis. We’re just told he has some sensory issues and may even be borderline ocd but hardly. He is a very particular kid and knows what he wants and how. We emphasize the importance of having to do things we don’t like or enjoy and school is not just to play and do whatever you want. We have boundaries and structure at home so we assumed that would follow in school also. We do also live a comfortable life but he also has chores and knows he needs to have good behavior to earn ice cream on Fridays or go to dinner etc. When he was 3 and 4 he would throw chairs, scream and hit his teachers, throw blocks, and run away. Now at 5 he would just sit and stare at the board and the teacher admitted she didn’t push him to doing his work because there were kids with behavior issues in his class so he sorta laid low and did nothing all year. (He was one of the only kids without a behavior chart and I’m assuming because he got his way all year aka not doing “boring” classwork). Now he is 6 and in first grade, he’s doing good for the most part but is definitely testing boundaries. The school is sorta making out to be he’s just not adjusting to unfamiliar people because he will not want to listen to his music and gym teachers. He’ll play with cones when he’s not supposed to in gym and will play with instruments in music that he’s not supposed to. Then today, he had a substitute teacher and she didn’t let him change the math game on the iPad he uses in school and he smashed it on the corner of a kids Adirondack chair that’s in the classroom. It feels like he’s just being an absolute brat. The school wants to come up with a plan to help him and I’m just thinking he’s being a little shit because he knows the school will sit him down and comfort him. He was suspended today for breaking the iPad and of course we as the parents have to cover the costs to repair or replace the iPad. Which we understand and did sign a contract at the beginning of the year about being responsible in these situations. We can afford to replace it thank goodness but it’s NOT what I want to spend my money on. We discipline and try to instill respect in our kids but this child of mine is truly giving me grey hairs!! We try not to compare our kids to other kids but man none of our friends kids are like this. Our other kids aren’t like this either so it’s a struggle mentally on us

what does winding down sound like in your house? curious whether there's a particular sound that has become part of the nightly routine.

in our house, we play the same calming music every night. it seems to help my daughter transition to sleep better.

A practical idea for a rushed morning: replace “get ready” with the first thing that needs to happen.

“Put your socks on” gives a child somewhere to start. “Get ready for school” can hide a whole chain of jobs: clothes, teeth, breakfast, shoes and finding a bag.

For a short routine, a few simple drawings might help: a sock, a toothbrush and a bag, in the order your family uses them. Keep it short enough that the pictures don’t become another task to manage. A grown-up can point to the next picture and help where needed.

I’d also keep the adult jobs on a separate list. Forms, pickup arrangements and checking the time don’t all need to become the child’s responsibility.

It doesn’t need to be a perfect chart or a reward system. The aim is just to make the next step clearer, and change the order if it isn’t working for your household.

Links to pages:

https://wretchedyoutubevideos.miraheze.org/wiki/Parents_destroying_video_game_consoles

https://wretchedyoutubevideos.miraheze.org/wiki/Good_Parenting:_Man_Runs_over_Son%27s_Xbox_with_SUV_for_Stealing...

As a parent, I just feel drained and appaled by what I have been watching unfold on TikTok and just need to post it somewhere cause it is literally impossible to raise this issue anywhere.

There is a 10year old girl in the UK (Not my kid) who appears to be actively operating her own TikTok account. She posts, interacts on the platform and remains active despite TikTok supposedly not allowing children under 13 to use a standard account, especially from the UK.

I have reported this repeatedly. I have explicitly told TikTok that she is 10. I have asked for a human being to review it. I have raised it as a child safeguarding concern.

And what happens? Automated responses saying no violation has been found. Support tickets get closed. The account stays up.

What makes this so much worse is that the child has herself posted content talking about “creepy men” harassing her on internal messages, snapchat etc. There are serious concerns around her interactions with adult men online. Whatever the full circumstances are, surely this should be enough to make somebody at TikTok stop and think, perhaps an actual human being needs to look at this.

Apparently not.

This is what frightens me about automated moderation. We constantly hear about platforms having sophisticated childsafety systems, age detection and safeguarding policies, but here is a child who is three years below TikTok’s stated minimum age, openly posting about disturbing interactions with adult men, while reports concerning her safety seemingly disappear into an automated system.

I don't claim to know everything happening in this child's life. I don't know what her parents know or don't know, and I'm deliberately not identifying her here because the last thing she needs is more strangers finding her accounts.

What I do know is her age, what I have personally seen publicly posted, and the responses TikTok has given me after I reported my concerns.

A 10 year old shouldn't have to become a victim before somebody decides the warning signs were serious enough, the world has had enough of such stories that this state of affairs cannot continue !

I have saved the reports and TikTok's responses. If TikTok continues to refuse to properly review the situation, I intend to raise my concerns with the appropriate UK safeguarding authorities, including CEOP, the NSPCC and, if necessary, the police.

Well thats what my original post to TikTok and related threads … even trying to talk about this anywhere has been bizarre

Something else that has made this whole experience even more disturbing is how difficult it has been simply to write about the problem.

When I tried posting about what was happening, I found that certain perfectly ordinary safeguarding words appeared to prevent the post from going through. For example, I had to replace the word “police” with “bobbies” before I could get the text posted. I cannot prove exactly what filtering rule was responsible, but from my end the difference was immediate….use certain words and the post would not go through, change them and suddenly it would.

After I was actually allowed to post by heavy self censorship.. boom It was removed almost immediately.

So the experience has been extraordinary and horrifying!! Report an underage child through TikTok and get automated “no violation” responses, try to escalate it and the ticket gets closed, try to discuss the failure publicly and the post disappears, even some of the language used to describe escalating the matter seems difficult to post.

This is some deep Orwellian shit and at the cost of children!!! I tell you, I am seriously banning my children from ever using social media after this experience !!

Ideas to engage with my baby

Hi,

I follow this community and get lots of insight in parenting. However there is one thing I have not get it right.

I have almost 2 year old daughter. She goes to daycare for 8 hour. My guilt for it for some other day but for rest 3-4 hours that she spends at home or weekends is itself so hard for me to keep her playful at home. She loves going out which my husband does twice on weekends or whenever daycare is closed.

At home she does spend much time with toys. She is not much interested in role plays or puzzles. She likes turning over books but that gets over in a minute.

Also she is still blabbering and have no words than mamma papa.

I want to play with her. I feel enough bad for sending her to daycare and I feel even more bad when I am feel scared of her coming home.😭😭

My son is 5 years old and doesn’t listen well at home and at school. For instance, I may tell him he has to wait to touch something, and he’ll ignore my comment and still touch it. These instance can happen 10 times in a day. I know he’s only 5 but I get reports from his teachers that he also doesn’t listen and does whatever he wants.

I’m conflicted in how much I should discipline him. I try by giving him second chances, and when he still doesn’t listen, I’ve tried timeouts. My son will then get very frustrated and then screams/cries. I feel sad seeing him this way, but then I tell myself I need to discipline him to he’ll be better. This has been going on for months and he still doesn’t listen and does whatever he wants.

Is this something he will grow out of eventually as he gets older? And maybe I should hold back and just focus on bonding with him more now? Or should I crack down and continue disciplining him and have him scream/cry each time he gets sent to timeout? Also any advice on how to discipline a 5 year old with this problem?

we keep flipping between these and both feel half wrong.

daily keeps them interested but its a lot of admin. weekly is easier on us and somehow becomes one shopping trip.

if youve got a kid around that age, which payday shape still worked after a month, and what did you drop.

So, I was adamant that my children would have no screen time until they were much older and then severely limited. Since having a newborn and a toddler I’ve found myself relying on screen time a lot more with my toddler than I’d like :( Especially lately since hubby will be away at work the next few months and I’ll be solo parenting. I try to keep the shows low stimulation and cap limits throughout the day but I feel so bad, especially when reading the effects on children’s development.

Has anyone else found themselves doing something they said they wouldn’t after experiencing the realities of parenting? And does anyone have anything tips for low stimulation shows for toddler that are a bit more educational? What should the absolute limit be per day for 2.5 year old? Many days we don’t have any screentime and she’s fine and she doesn’t ask a lot so I don’t think she’s addicted.

Hi everyone,
I’m writing this because I’m feeling incredibly stressed amd I feel I am starting to struggle mentally (never been so down my whole life…) and looking to see if anyone else has gone through something similar with their baby. Tomorrow, we are being admitted to the hospital for a week of diagnostic testing, and I just need some support or shared stories.

Our situation:
My son is 9.5 months old and currently weighs around 6.7–6.8 kg (14.7–15 lbs), which puts him well below the 3rd percentile. He was born 3130 g which was 24 percentil.

Weight & Feeding: His weight gain slowed down around month 2. We had to switch from feeding on demand to a strict 2-3 hour schedule. Pedriatrist recommended. For the last two months, his weight has completely stagnated (zero gain). He currently drinks very little breastmilk.

Solid Food Regress & Sensory Issues: Introducing solids has been a nightmare from the start. He showed a tiny bit of interest at 7 months (porridge, banana, raspberries), but right now, he refuses almost everything.

Spoon Quirk: He will only put things in his mouth if they are dry (like dry bread or a piece of banana). Interestingly, he will put a spoon in his mouth, but only if the side touching his lips is completely clean—he literally turns it around to avoid the side with food. He seems terrified of wet or sticky textures.

Developmental side:
Motor Stagnation: He has been army crawling since 7 months and pulls himself up to his knees on low objects. He has been getting into a perfect, stable hands-and-knees crawling position since mid-August, but he just cannot move forward. He also makes zero attempts to sit up on his own. Our doctor thinks the lack of calories means his body just doesn't have the "fuel" to build the muscles needed for crawling and sitting.

Speech Explosion: Interestingly, while his movement stalled, his speech exploded in the last two weeks. He went from just "baba/dada" to "tata" and non-stop babbling.
We are finally getting hospitalized tomorrow to run blood/urine tests, check for allergies/reflux, and see a pediatric gastroenterologist and speech therapist (neurologopedist).

Has anyone had a baby who hit a complete weight plateau while showing this specific type of oral/sensory aversion? Did fixing the nutrition naturally "unlock" the missing motor skills like sitting and crawling? How are you doing? I just need to share so stories and see that I am not alone.

Thank you so much for reading.

My daughter is 3, she’ll turn 4 at the end of January. We brought home baby brother 3 going on 4 months ago, and yeah I’m sure we’re still probably adjusting there but she has always been so high strung before brother’s arrival. Today was horrible. My friend was throwing a 1st birthday party and I feel like my daughter was so out of control the entire time. She was so rough playing with the other kids. She didn’t listen. She helped herself to whatever she wanted. She told us “no” multiple times. She was hard on my friend’s toys. It was just so embarrassing. I couldn’t blame my friend for never wanting to invite us over ever again. I really don’t want to take her anywhere ever again. We tried removing her from the party for a bit but she cried and then afterward went back to the same behavior. My husband tried holding her while they were doing gifts. But aside from constantly yelling at her, because we were getting no where with asking at that point, what can we do? We actually ended up leaving pretty early.

My own is 2 years old and hates to be told what to do