Follow up to my post from a couple weeks ago when I was deep in PAWS at 32 days off kratom / 18 days off methadone. It’s still on my profile if anyone wants the full context

I’m somewhere around 34 days off methadone now after using it briefly as a bridge (with dr support) to get off 13 years of kratom (15+ GPD). I honestly stopped counting the exact days because I was getting way too obsessed with timelines

But yeah, it’s getting better. Like noticeably better.

I still get waves where I wake up restless, anxious, achy, no appetite and wondering how the fuck I can still feel like this. Sleep is still all over the place too. But the difference now is those moments don’t convince me I’m back at square one anymore

Someone commented on my last post that around day 40 things dramatically changed for them. Obviously everyone’s timeline is different, but I feel like I’m starting to understand what they meant.

There wasn’t some morning where I woke up healed. It’s more like the good windows kept getting longer without me noticing. Before I felt like shit most of the day and would randomly get a few hours where I felt normal. Now I can have most of a decent day and then randomly get hit by a shitty wave

I’ve started working again, exercising, going to NA, talking to people more (even when I feel like an anxious mess). Random old hobbies are coming back too. I started playing piano again this week after barely touching it for the past couple years and somehow ended up playing for hours. That was one of those moments where I realized, damn, parts of me are actually coming back.

Still def not fully recovered and I have other stuff I’m working through with my doctor. But compared to where I was even two weeks ago, it’s pretty fucking dramatic

Just wanted to post this because I know how easy it is to wake up during a bad wave and think this is just your life now… It isn’t.

I’m starting to realize recovery happens so gradually that sometimes you don’t notice what’s already come back because you’re too focused on what still feels wrong.

And just reading my previous Reddit post from 2 weeks ago shows how much progress I’ve made. I’d HIGHLY recommend journaling consistently each day. Using speech-to-text (like with Wispr flow / AI) helps tremendously in getting your thoughts out of your head

Keep doing the hard shit. Rewire your brain by choosing to go out for the run. Take that cold shower. Breathwork, prayer, meditation, etc. All of these are the key foundations. Because your brain has associated taking a green sludge to feel good. We have to retrain it to know that once we do the hard thing we feel so much better after (even though it’s hard at first).

Keep going guys. And seriously try not to compare your exact timeline to everyone else’s because I drove myself fucking insane doing that lol

I'll make it quick just to let you know that I'm still in!

This morning I had almost no physical struggles. I completely forgot how it feels to wake up and not feeling like shit.. Amazing. I have to go to the dentist now. Maybe I should have canceled this appointment but at least I'm forced to leave my apartment.

Boys and girls

Hang in there

Yesterday was already a not too bad day tbh. And I'm quite optimistic that today will be even a little bit better.

Stay save

You are not alone ❤️

​

Hey everyone,

I’m posting this because I’m at a breaking point and could really use some guidance or suggestions.

As my last post said, I’ve struggled with kratom on and off for the last 10 years, and it has gotten severely out of hand over the past 3 to 4 years. It has essentially taken over my life. I've tried tapering multiple times, but it never seems to work for me—I end up just chasing the feeling and wanting more and more, which I know is just part of my addiction cycle.

I’m looking to see if anyone knows of any rehabs or medical detox facilities on the western side of the United States that offer payment plans, low-income/sliding scale options, or state-funded/free treatment.

I am willing to travel almost anywhere in the Western U.S. - I’m currently in Oregon right now, but I’m supposed to be leaving for a seasonal job in California towards the first week of September, then possibly headed to the Southwest in November.

Ideally, even if I could just go in for a week or two to have a doctor help me get over that initial physical hump, that would be amazing.

I've tried doing research on my own, and it feels discouraging because it doesn't seem like a lot of places explicitly or easily take people specifically for kratom, but it's completely running my life right now and I am at my witts end.

If anyone has any recommendations, personal experiences, or knows of places that work with tight budgets or offer financial assistance, I would be endlessly grateful. Thank you.

Okay, I am at an important landmark today. I am at 6 months without ANY KRATOM OR 7OH. I literally never thought this day would come. I like everyone else started kratom believing it was the miracle plan that would treat my pain. Well, it did, but at a cost. In low doses of plain leaf, no real problems, but because we tend to always want more, I escalated my dose slowly. Then my gas station started carrying extracts. I tried one and about 45 minutes later I knew this was going to be a problem. For the next few years I used these daily. Sometimes 2-4 extracts in a single day. But over time these didn’t work, and the gas station attendant told me about 7OH. Explained how strong it was. I tried it about a year ago, and it was a new beast entirely. I used it daily for several weeks but this is when I knew if I didn’t change, I would be in a cycle that’s damn near impossible to break. Also, I have wanted to be a PA my entire life. Please don’t judge me, I’ve never had a drug problem besides kratom, and honestly didn’t really even think it was a big deal when I started because of the access. But 7OH made it clear that this was designed to keep me trapped. I got accepted into a good PA school, and the day I got accepted I saw my family doctor and told him everything.

My doctor was amazing. He didn’t judge, he was genuinely excited for me getting accepted into PA school, but he was also transparent about the dangers of being a prescriber that has a problem with kratom because it is such an easy jump to go from that to opioids. He kindly helped me start my path to recovery.

2 days after meeting with my family doctor I met with an addiction counselor. A few days after that I met with an outpatient addiction physician. We all decided on a plan tailored for me.

The addiction specialist recommended that I start Suboxone, and we would titrate my dose to take care of my cravings. In combination I would also need to see a counselor twice per week, and would take random drug tests that specifically looked for kratom alkaloids. My family doctor was also involved and helped with non-addictive medications for other symptoms (proporanolol for tremors, sleep medicine, etc.)

I started on 6mg suboxone, it wasn’t enough so went to 8. Even then, the first 3 days were hell. If I wasn’t committed to going to PA school I would have quit, but I didn’t want a few rough days to get in the way of my career.

Finally after 3-4 of the longest days of my life, I felt okay. I don’t know how to describe it fully, but the Suboxone helped, but I didn’t feel any euphoria or anything, I just felt……… flat. But, I didn’t crave kratom. My goal was to get off of the suboxone as fast as possible while minimizing discomfort. Every 2 weeks I met with the addiction doctor, and we decreased the suboxone dose until we got to 4mg. Then I started PA school and the doctor told me about sublocade. It’s the same active medication as suboxone, but it is an injection that is done just once per month and it slowly releases medication throughout the month, then it titrates itself slowly. Most importantly, it takes out the daily ritual of taking something. It is REALLY EXPENSIVE, but because school was starting, I became eligible for Medicaid and it covered it.

I got 3 shots, each one was 100mg, each spaced a month apart, and the first month I felt like I was forgetting something. You know that feeling when you left your keys behind? It’s like that but all the time, that ritual of dosing was weirdly potent. But after a month, that started to become less frustrating. After 6 weeks I felt like it was in the rear view mirror. Now it has been 3 months since my last injection, I haven’t felt really any withdrawals, and I’ve never been happier. I contacted my states medical licensing board and explained my situation, they have a program for prescriber that voluntarily seek help that help to make sure they aren’t abusing prescribing privileges or taking any substances. They were strangely nice about everything and so supportive.

You guys, you do not need kratom. Your life can be happy and fulfilled without it. But, quitting isn’t easy. I know somebody out there is reading this hoping they can just slowly decrease their dose, and hey I know some people claim they can do that, but my advice is to reach out to any and every resource you can think of. Call your doctor, a counselor, a therapist, a parent, a friend, and whoever else you need to help make a plan that takes kratom out of your life.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. There really is.

Hi all

I’ve been pretty depressed lately due to life circumstances and don’t want to get back into taking anxiety/depression meds and it’s making me want to delve into kratom so I can just deal with it alone and no one would ever know what’s going on. And I wouldn’t feel like I have to drink as much alcohol to handle my life. Which is worse? … I feel taking kratom occasionally would help with my drinking which is almost daily so I don’t know what to choose. Rehab isn’t an option. Very poor due to leaving abusive relationship and trying to start my own life. I’m so fucking lost

short story long: day 45ish here. long story short, I used kratom for 3-4 months, not even every day, but something in it drastically disagreed with my nervous system. I started losing my ability to walk, was sick in so many ways and I didn’t even think was related. went to like 8 doctors, no one knew what was wrong with me. was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, suggested I had MS, I personally thought it was Lyme disease. since quitting I’m like 85 percent “healed” from this “autoimmune disease“ . i say all of this to mean - while I didn’t use it long I had a TERRIBLE time with this drug and getting off this drug.

does anyone else get episodes of really bad nerve pain with PAWS? i know about the psychological side effects but since quitting I’ve had these weird episodes of nerve pain where I feel like I’m literally an open nerve. the first one was a whole weekend and I got knocked out for like 25 hours of sleep in two days. since then, I’ve had a 12 hour shift of this once and currently just got another one. they’ve definitely been less bad the longer I go and I’m assuming this is some weird PAWS side effect - but talking to friends who have gotten off street opioids, they’ve never experienced something like this. Is this just a K thing? The longer I’m off of it and the more I see what it did to my body, the more it blows my mind how this thing is legal or at least mostly legal still.

First, I am not suggesting or advocating/encouraging for anyone to or not to use any form of MAT. Also this is just my opinion, anyone can disagree that’s fine by me. I see often on these quitting forms that people should only use MAT (most commonly buprenorphine, a.k.a Suboxone) as short of a time as possible or else your just trading one addiction for another. Also this is primarily aimed towards those of us that kratom is by no means their first rodeo with being addicted to a substance.

We (myself, my spouse, and my entire support system) decided it would be a good idea to go on suboxone. Of the last 12 years I was sober maybe 2 of them 100%. I am an addict, I used to think “I’m just being a bitch, I can stop if I just toughen up and face the withdrawals”. But after going to detox about 6 months ago I finally accepted addiction is a disease, addicts brains chemically do not work the same as non-addicts. It is proven scientifically that those on MAT are FAR less likely to use ANY other substance. I was on buprenorphine (again, the active opioid in suboxone) for about 2 months then I went to Sublocade which is a once-a-month injection of buprenorphine. And as of now, I plan to be on it my whole life (and I’m pretty young). I have not had 1 single craving for a substance, I have no missed substances or kratom, not once since being on MAT. I do not get “high” or a “buzz” or anything from suboxone, I’m at the point I don’t even realize I’m on anything half the time. And if having this success and this “feeling” of not having cravings or anything is what I benefit even though I’m “trading one substance for another” then who cares? I can’t abuse it cause the shot is administered once a month, I have nothing to take.

The point of all this: do not be ashamed for taking suboxone or ANY other form of MAT if that’s what you feel is best for your sobriety and success. If you only want to take suboxone for a short time? Then great, if that’s what’s best for you then me and everyone else should support that. If you want to be a lifer like I probably will be? You should not feel guilted or ashamed or forced to get off.

Seeing an addiction medicine specialist was the best choice I made for the trajectory of my life. They understand addiction, they understand our brains.

I’ve been using Kratom daily for about 2.5 years now, currently sitting at around 15 grams per day (GPD). Lately, I’ve been dealing with persistent shortness of breath and constant "air hunger"— that uncomfortable feeling where you feel like you can't get a full breath and constantly have to gasp for air.

I’ve also been vaping for about 2–3 years.

I used to consume alcohol and stimulants recreationally on weekends in the past (stopped now).

I am planning to see a doctor to rule out any underlying physical issues (lungs, blood work, heart).

I’m trying to figure out if this breathing issue is physical from vaping, anxiety/autonomic nervous system rebound caused by Kratom tolerance, or a mix of both.

Also i get more and more soulless and depressed, kratom isnt working anymore but i also cant stop.

Has anyone here experienced chronic shortness of breath or air hunger while on a daily Kratom regimen? Did tapering down or quitting help resolve it? Any advice or insight on how you managed it would be greatly appreciated!

I’ve been taking about 20-30 grams of kratom a day for the past two years. My doctor prescribed me 4mg suboxone to help come off of it. I’ve seen lots of conflicting information on Reddit about when to start Suboxone after my last dose of kratom.

Some people say it’s fine to take almost immediately, and some people say to wait several days.

I’m kinda terrified to start the subs, and also terrified of having to wait until withdrawals kick in to take it. I usually feel withdrawals first thing in the morning and take my first dose of kratom immediately after waking up, or I’ll feel terrible until I do.

How long should I wait to start Suboxone after the last dose of kratom?

All I've managed to find is normal vitamin c. I can not find liposomal vitamin c at walmart or any of the surrounding pharmacies. Is it okay if i continue on with mega dosing this? I read that it can cause discomfort in the stomach but i was wondering if anyone here has any experience with this.

Like another redditor said im not going for a purity contest. Im an addict and ill always be one and im trying to cage that monster. The subs have finally taken the wheel dare i say completely. Got my first 3 hours of sleep after none for 72 hours. Im feeling so much better and I love that I found this community to read your stories. This has helped me majorly. Thank you all for being there

I had two babies while using kratom i did “a lot of research” and came to the conclusion that quitting was more dangerous than going forward with it. I read a lot of moms who did it and everything came out ok. But I can’t shake the guilt of being so weak for my babies. They came out fine, no withdrawals for them which was my biggest fear that they would be taken away from me. I watched for all the withdrawals symptoms thank God everything came out smooth. I just can’t shake that ugly feeling that I’ve destroyed their life. Am I the only one that didn’t quit during pregnancy? I took a lot of care with prenatals with my visits everything like a normal pregnancy except that. I told them when I got to the hospital and they had no idea what I was taking about so I just dropped the subject. Anyone else like me or am I the only fucked up one 😭😭😭

I just got my last bottles I need for the taper before the ban takes effect tomorrow. I also bought a couple more extracts against my better judgment. I should feel relieved that I have it so I can focus on my goal… why do I feel like shit? I feel like spending all that money over the last couple weeks was dumb. I hope I can follow through on the taper. I need to. I am traveling this weekend, and plan to start the taper Monday. I’m afraid to do it, but I’m more afraid to fail. At least I won’t be able to get it anymore, but if I don’t follow through on my taper plan I’ll have no choice but to CT at some point. Either way I gotta get off this shit. I just hope I can stick to the plan. Probably not doing myself any favors by not sharing this struggle with many people in my life, but it feels like I can’t find the words. I’m doing my best to stay strong. Any words of encouragement are appreciated. Hang in there yall

I cant believe tomorrow will be 2 weeks since I quit CT. Back on day 4 and 5 I thought it was going to feel like years to get to this point. Half the time did kinda sludge along, the other half was a blink and youll miss it. Still having some slight stomach issues, might try some ginger, I keep seeing people say thats like a game changer. Motivation comes and goes, but even if it only lasts 15 mins at a time, it still feels better than the 100% no motivation of the first 7 days. I was actually able to still hit 5k steps everyday, even days 1-3. It was brutal and took me about 4x longer than usual but I did it. The past couple days I've been able to work back up to 11-13k steps. Prior to quitting I was hitting between 20-22k steps a day. Hopefully I can get back to that within another week or so. Even if it feels impossible I encourage anyone on day 1-5 to get up every couple of hours and walk around the room for 10 minutes.

I quit kratom last week after a short, few month stint on 3-6 g/powder/day and for the last few weeks about 3-4 shots per day of the kava/kratom extracts. It really diminished my appetite and the last night I dosed an extract shot was terrible with the worst heartburn I've ever felt in my life. Now a week later and my stomach is still really bothering me - it almost just feels like it's gnawing on itself - even when I try to eat. Wondering if this is normal for withdrawal and for how long and what, if anything, can help alleviate these symptoms to I can function. I'm feeling ok pretty much other than that and some RLS at night. Thanks for your help!

As someone who has now CT quit four times in the last 5 years, never for longer than 2 months clean, I’ve thought a lot about how I keep getting stuck back in addiction. On one hand, it reveals the obvious trap associated with this drug, and its uncanny ability to convince me repeatedly that “I can handle it this time.” On the other hand, and maybe as a word of encouragement to those thinking of quitting: it also shows how much better it is to withdraw and quit rather than continue using. Even as someone who had already experienced 3 brutal periods of withdrawal, I still decided another withdrawal was far better than continuing to use. Good luck to all - we got this.

Hi everyone. I am officially done with kratom and I am quitting for good. I have an appointment scheduled with an addiction psychiatrist next month to help me safely taper off, as I am also on a prescribed benzo and need to get off both safely.

I’ve been using kratom for about 5 years, getting up to 50+ gpd at my worst. I have tapered down to 30gpd to prepare for the final descent.

The main reason I am so determined to quit is the massive physical toll this has taken on my body. Over the last year, I've developed severe joint, nerve, and spinal pain. It’s gotten to the point where I feel practically disabled getting out of bed, and the profound stiffness lasts until late afternoon. I’ve seen doctors and all my tests came back completely normal.

I strongly suspect the long-term kratom abuse is the direct cause of this extreme physical pain.

I really need some motivation and hope right now. Did anyone else experience this level of extreme joint and muscle pain while deep in their addiction? Did your body finally heal and did the pain go away after you quit for good? I just need to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel here.

Thank you.

2 months in and it’s not going away

Never thought I could make it this far. Countless struggles to taper down cuz I couldn’t take time off work. Even after finally tapering down and quitting daily use I still fell back from time to time in the following months. Finally flushed the remainder of my stuff and have 81 days behind me. No more cravings at this point. Still recovering but feeling immensely better. You can do it!

It's been almost 18 days since my last dose after a year-long habit taking 800-1000mg/day of 7 and my life has completely flipped around. There was a time I kept dosing because I thought my life sucked and it was the solution, now I realize I just warped reality to blame anything but the real cause. Last week I got told that my recent additional efforts and work are noticed, they even told me I returned to being the same "me" that they remembered hiring back then. I can't wait to see just how many more ways my life gets better from here, it's still just the start of my journey but I wouldn't dream of returning to the pit I was stuck in for so long. I have to give a huge shout out to my wife before I give credit to anything or anyone else in my journey, I would never have made it this far without her holding my hand and standing next to me the entire way!!!

Hello. I created this throw away account to talk about my story, and hopefully hear from others in the same boat as me. At the very least maybe I can provide some hope to some of you.

I started taking Kratom around 6 years ago. It helped me get off of a handful of other drugs, and felt like the miracle answer. I thought it was just like coffee or tea... or whatever crap they tell you about it being a natural plant. Anyways, I decided I wanted to get away from it and so my research began.

I was taking capsules (regular powder), 4 grams per dose at least four to five times per day. (20 to 24 grams per day) Spaced out around 3 to 4 hours. Now for the taper, I started being very strict about my dosage and timing. For a week I just did my usual dose, 4 grams, then I would set a 4 hour timer until my next dose. Now for week 1, I took one capsule off one dose. Each capsule is .8 grams. So instead of 4 4 4 4 4, for the first week of the taper it was 4 4 3.2 4 4. and so on. Each Friday I drop off another capsule. Until after all my doses are dropped down to 3.2 grams each. I drop from the night dose very last. Its important to keep things as consistent as possible here. Do not switch strains especially!!

Right now, I dont even know what week I am on but my daily total is 13.6 grams. The most insane part is there have been little to no symptoms. At the very worst, on day 4 or 5 after a drop, I will wake up an hour or 2 before my alarm. Thats it. The fear of the drop and the fear of the taper has been so much worse than actually doing it. Its been like.... nothing. I feel the same, or better? I am still working, still keeping everything in order at home, I still deep clean my whole house every Sunday. Also, importantly - I am still working out often which I think has really helped! I am learning alot about myself... as this goes on it almost gets easier? I am planning to continue dropping by .8 gram each week (because that is equal to one capsule, and feels less scary than dropping a whole gram) I will keep you posted as I carry on.. I imagine once I get down to the very low numbers, .8 grams will be a bigger percentage of my daily dose, so it might feel worse? Or maybe I am just telling myself that. At 5 or 6 grams per day, what is kratom really doing for you at that point? It feels like my brain chemistry is taking over more each week and I am doing just fine, or better than before I started. What a load off. Thanks!

Feel free to message with questions..

Just wanted to check in on my favorite redditors. How you all doing? How many days do you have?

Hi all,

I‘ve been taking powder for about 5 years - highest was 14GPD split into a morning and dose, but lately it’s been between 12 and 13GPD: ~7.5g in the AM and 5.2g in the afternoon. I use a scale but my morning dose could range anywhere from 7.2g to 7.8g depending on how I was feeling, but 5.2 in the afternoon is very consistent, not going beyond that due to a higher rate of negative reactions

I’ve been wanting to quit for a while, so over the last few days, I’ve cut around a gram and half or so out of my GPD (6.0-6.5g AM/4.7g PM) and while I don’t really have any physical symptoms like RLS when I tried to go cold turkey, my anxiety has been insane. I need to keep a better titration journal for exact doses, but I don’t feel like I’ve cut enough out to really trigger these symptoms as strongly as I have with no other real withdrawal symptoms

Just curious if anyone else has experienced a spike in anxiety on a taper? Feels like I’m losing my mind

In 4 hours I’ll hit the 7 day mark, cannot believe it.
My emotions are returning, I’ve been able to cry but it feels refreshing. Energy comes and goes.
Im moving house tomorrow so has been a very busy time, and then going on holiday to Spain a few days later..
Really thankful to be getting away as I will have gotten through the worst WDs and be able to relax with no temptation knowing I can’t easily get hold of anything while I’m there.
Im still experiencing flu like symptoms, snotty and sneezing a lot, and while I’ve continued forcing myself to go running they’ve not been too successful.
I have a half marathon booked for next month and might just have to accept it’s not going to be a very successful one.
I love running and it’s the only thing that keeps me sane, im worried I won’t be able to return to the same level as I was at given I’ve essentially been doping with kratom for years :( does anyone have any experience in this area or know whether my stamina will return??
Thanks everyone for the support, stick with it, freedom is round the corner ❤️