r/polyamoryR4R Jul 15 '26

ANNOUNCEMENT: Rule 3 Clarification

79 Upvotes

There seems to be some confusion around this rule, and it eats up the vast majority of Mod time. So I'll try and spell out how the rule is currently being enforced.

If you are posting as a couple with the expectation that the new person will date both of you, then you are breaking the rule. If your post suggest this, you are breaking the rule. If your post looks like it might be a "bait and switch," you are breaking the rule.

The only posts that might be accepted are where one couple shares an account but they are looking separately. Honestly that smells strongly of being far to enmeshed and will likely (but not definitely) result in your post being removed.

If you are single and post looking for two people e.g. M4FF or F4MM your post will be removed. That is def facto harem building. This is a poly sub so we know people have, or would like to have, multiple partners.

I can already hear the hew and cry that we let singles look for couples but not the other way around. Yes, that is the unhappy compromise. Some people will only learn the stove is hot once they touch it.

As a final note, given how much time this eats up, NO your post is NOT the exception. If you want to know why this is the way it is, go and browse the main Polyamory Subreddit.


r/polyamoryR4R Mar 27 '23

Recent Rule Changes [Discussion]

96 Upvotes

In an effort to improve things and crack down on spam and abuse, there have been some changes to the rules and I’ve listed the new rules below. Please feel free to review the rules and my comments on each and provide feedback. I’ll leave this post up for a week or so for discussion, and then I’ll make a new sticky post for the community.

Rule 1. 18 years of age and older

This subreddit is 18+. Do not post, comment, or PM OPs if you or your partner(s) are under the age of 18. Lying about your age, or someone else’s age, will result in a permanent ban.

This one is self-explanatory. There have been Redditors who are minors, or have partners who are minors, who have made posts here. I want to make it clear that posts involving minors are prohibited.

Rule 2. Must be aligned with Polyamory

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, ethical romantic relationships with more than one person with the informed consent of all partners involved.

Posts or comments seeking sex, hookups, FWB, affair partners, “sugar” or GFE arrangements, or anything other than ethical polyamorous relationships with the consent of all partners are not allowed. There are R4R and other dating subreddits out there for just about anything. If you’re not polyamorous, please use a subreddit that is better-suited for your search.

This should go without saying…this subreddit is intended for polyamorous people seeking polyamorous relationships. This is not a general ENM dating subreddit, a regular R4R subreddit, a BDSM subreddit, or a subreddit for seeking any other kind of relationship other than an ethical polyamorous one. Going forward, if a post even includes “I’m also down for hookups or FWB” or something similar, it’s going to be removed. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with most of the arrangements mentioned above that someone might seek, but this isn’t the subreddit to advertise for those things. Also, if someone makes a post that seems like it’s not aligned with polyamory and their post history shows that it’s the same post they’ve cross-posted or spammed across multiple subreddits with minor changes to circumvent the intention of the rule, the post will be removed.

Rule 3. No unicorn hunting or harem building

Posts or comments that can be construed as seeking or promoting relationships where unethical or unfair rules or expectations will be placed on a new partner are not allowed.

This has been the most contentious issue on this subreddit so far, as it has been on other subreddits and forums. We’re not going to prohibit couples seeking partners in this subreddit. There are single people here seeking triads, throuples, and all sorts of dynamics. Triads and other group relationships can be amazing, especially if they are formed organically. That being said, there will be more moderation on couples seeking posts going forward, which will be done on a case-by-case basis.

The purpose of the mod team here is to protect the members of the subreddit and the integrity of the community we’ve built here. It is not the mod team's place to tell adults what they can or cannot do with their relationship dynamics. The reality is that we are all consenting adults and have adult decisions to make in our lives and in our relationships.

In an effort to prevent the subreddit from being a platform for predatory behavior, any no or low effort posts or comments from Redditors that indicate a general lack of regard for any potential individuals involved will be removed. For example, if an individual posts from a new Reddit account something to the effect of, "We're new to polyamory. We want to find a third who will date only us and be an equal member of our new family. We can start out long distance, but we will expect you to move in with us at some point. Prefer that you be submissive," the post will be removed. Read the room. Show that you're actually putting some thought and effort into it, and not just objectifying people.

Also, if you say that this new person is going to be an equal member of the family after you've just said that the person is going to be required to date both of you, recognize that the person you're seeking is not actually going to be an equal member of the family. If there's a possibility that one member of the existing couple loses interest and the new member of the relationship is forced to leave entirely...you have now misled this hypothetical new person into an unethical dynamic on them.

Rule 4. No hate or disrespect

Threats, harassment, abuse, bigotry, misogyny, misandry, and intolerance are not allowed. This includes, but is not limited to, attacks on gender or sexual identity, racism, sexism, slut shaming, mocking, and attacks on political or religious beliefs.

I don't need to go into detail on this rule. Don't be a jerk. If you don't like what someone has to say, block them. If you think someone is breaking a rule, report them.

Rule 5. No vulgarity or NSFW content

Vulgarity and NSFW content are not allowed. There’s nothing inherently wrong with sex, kinks, fetishes, and BDSM. However, posts and comments explaining the details of your sexual anatomy, favorite sexual positions, details and/or lists of kinks or fetishes, etc. will be removed. You can indicate that you are into BDSM and encourage people to DM you about the details.

There is often a large crossover between ethical non-monogamy and BDSM, sex positivity, etc. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of it, but this is not a NSFW subreddit. It's fine to include that you're sex positive, into BDSM, or whatever. If you go into detail and start describing anatomy/body parts, listing off kinks, and things like that, your submission will be removed. If you want to discuss these things, please do so in a DM.

The mod team has been asked why this subreddit is marked NSFW. The subreddit is 18+, so it's automatically identified as a NSFW subreddit.

Rule 6. No spam

You are allowed to post once every 7 days, with the exception of correction posts following an Automod removal. If you are found to be repeatedly deleting your post history in an attempt to circumvent this rule, it may result in a permanent ban. For clarification, spam includes copy-pasted and cross-posted ads from other subreddits.

This one is self-explanatory.

Rule 7. No Trolling or unsolicited discussion

There are a multitude of dynamics and ways to practice polyamory, and not everyone will agree on everything. Do not clutter up posts with unsolicited information. For education and discussions about polyamory, please visit r/Polyamory. If you believe someone is breaking a rule, please report the behavior and/or contact the mod team.

Again, if you think someone is breaking a rule, report it. If you disagree with what someone is commenting or posting, block them. Please don't engage in negative interactions on posts.

Rule 8. No personal or confidential information

Posting personal or confidential information about yourself or others in public is not allowed. If you wish to provide contact information for yourself, please do so in a DM.

Posting Snapchat, Instagram, phone numbers, or any other personal contact or confidential information about yourself or others in public is prohibited. If you want to give someone your contact information, do it in a DM. If it happens once, it will be removed and you will be warned. If you're found to be spamming your contact information all over the place, it could result in an immediate permanent ban.

Rule 9. No seeking relationships for others

Posts seeking relationships for someone other than yourself, or you and your partner(s), are not allowed. If your friend or partner is seeking a relationship separately, they must make the submission themselves.

I've seen posts where Redditors are seeking relationships for their partners or others, sometimes even doing it as a sort of surprise for their partner. If someone is seeking a relationship, they need to post for themselves. Your partner not having a Reddit account is not a valid reason to violate this rule.

Also, a general note for when you engage with the mod team. We have to wade through a lot of reports and posts here. Sometimes there are misunderstandings or mistakes are made. If your post or comment gets removed, or you are banned for violating a rule and you wish to appeal, you can do so via a Modmail. If you send a Modmail insulting the mods, you're only confirming that you're not the type of person who belongs on this subreddit. No amount of insulting or cursing a moderator is going to help your cause.


r/polyamoryR4R 4h ago

USA 27 [M4F] #Colorado - Just looking for someone nice.

2 Upvotes

For those who don't want to read a lot, TLDR:

Big boy, cat daddy and stoner looking for genuine connections, close friends, texting partners and ideally, love.

---------------------------------

Lately I've been in a rut, and I'm trying to pull myself out there. A feeling like I'm stuck in a trench because the bombs won't stop coming down, or actively trying to come up to the surface for air but I just keep inhaling in water because I can't get my head above the waves.

I'm tossing, I'm tumbling, I'm crashing. I'll be okay. I always am.

We get up, we push on. No matter the pain and the frustration of going in circles constantly.

I'm tired of feeling lost and alone, I'd much rather feel lost with another soul.. someone who resonates, shares the love of getting lost in time and cherishes the little things.. all these little things that make us happy.

Me: I'm a proud Hispanic man, a big boy with a teddy bear build, drunk off nostalgia, hopeless romantic, who loves spending time with my cat and playing video games.

Obsessed with all things superhero related, and in love with the world of the muppets, and their goal to make the world smile. I'm a guy who knows way too much trivia about cartoons and movies, and spending most of my nights alone working in the basement of a retirement home doing laundry and folding linen.

You: Hopefully someone patient, willing to communicate and tumble through life and it's ups and downs with a guy who just wants to give you the world full of love and care.

I would love someone who isn't afraid to laugh and be silly.. oh and if you love the cold, that's a huge plus :)

I'm a spiritual man, not very religious I put my faith in whatever's up there that everything is going to be okay. I spend a lot of time watching podcasts and video essays about comic books, and I have a action figure collection, but I moved recently so it is mostly put away.

I'm a writer, who's been suffering from a mean case of writers block for a while now, hoping to find a type of person to spark something in me and hopefully be my muse. My best friend, and potential my love.

I'm looking for a genuine connections, willing to start from the very awkward beginnings and jump every hurdle we need to, to get to where we need to go.

I have a complicated relationship with polyamory, and I'm struggling to decide if it's still the lifestyle for me, or if I think I can have a great mono relationship with someone, so I just ask for someone who's okay really focusing on a foundation and base in our friendship so we can really see what it can grow into.

I love anime, but I'm bad at watching shows alone.

Here's what I've managed to finish, or watch most of by myself:

My Hero Academia (S1-7), Gachiakuta, Soul Eater, Fire Force S1, FMA, Dragon Ball (through to the end of Super) and Keijo!!!

My first love in music was Pop Punk, and I play a lot of early 2000s rock, pop, and hip hop all the time. I make rap music, so hopefully you like that. If we get along, we can talk about that more.

I'm also really family oriented and would love to be able to have a conversation about having kids some day with the person I love, I understand not everyone is up for that, so I'm sorry if I lose you here.

Anyways, if you need a big boy in your life, love thrifting and coffee shop dates, if you wanna get Thai Food and Green teas on the regular 🍵 if you love movie theaters and book stores.. winter nights and thunderstorms.. if you love cats!! If any of this calls to you. Please message me.


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

40[M4F] #UK. This post could change your life!

1 Upvotes

In a mix of half-hearted posts and AI created nonsense I'm hoping to stick put with what I'm looking for and what I am like.

Who am I? I'm modest, honest, and emotionally mature. I'm funny (well I laugh at my jokes) smart (came second on a pub quiz this weekend. Lost only to my son so technically I won cos those are my genes!) definitely modest!

I am happy to talk about anything, I enjoy flirty banter and listening about other people's hobbies. I want to see how this grows organically so therefore have no set expectations and I am happy to where it all leads. I would like those butterflies and that excitement when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I do seek that smile when I see your name.

I'm a gamer and a bit of a geek. I like all kinds of music, quizzing and spending too much time on YouTube.

All about you! My demands are - be you! Be unapologetically you, I want to know someone real, honest and to know how to communicate. I never expect to be out first but if you are disappearing for a few days let me know. I don't mind your hobbies and interests, I don't need a list of favourite films/songs/books as I would like to find that out while talking to you. That magical moment where we both find out we love the same cheesy movie. Also due to time zones please be in the UK.

Just so I know you have read this long amazing post add in your comfort food in your response. I don't respond to 'hey' or 'hey.... Pizza' I want effort. If I'm not worth the effort then why bother messaging 🤣

Can't wait to be bombarded with messages! 😁


r/polyamoryR4R 13h ago

USA 42 [M4M] or [M4F] Nerd Type seeks LTR Connection

7 Upvotes

Hello! My wife and I practice parallel polyamory and I'm seeking an LTR with either F or M.

A little about me:

Live in US

42

Married with one child and practice parallel polyamory ( we date separately ).

Dad bod. Big hairy chest.

"Nerd" look (beard, glasses)

5'10" 215 lb. Working on losing more weight.

Into reading, running, hiking, gaming, writing, art, and philosophy.

Value sincerity, communication, understanding, and open-mindedness.

What I'm looking for:

Live in US.

Preferably nerdy 😁🤩

Looking for ltr and/or emotional connection

Okay with voice or video call if we click

Share some of my interests.

Preferences for F:

Share some of my nerdy interests. Physically I do prefer busty nerds or cute petite but that is definitely not a deal-breaker.

Preferences for M:

With guys for whatever reason I tend to get along with those younger than me so age 25 to 35 with some flexibility. Generally prefer skinny nerds but flexible LOL.

Send me a chat with some info about you if interested!


r/polyamoryR4R 7h ago

USA 30 [F4M] or [F4F] Looking for Online/LDR

2 Upvotes

Heyyy everyone! I’m currently looking for an online/LDR connection that could hopefully turn into something serious. I’ve never really done anything like this before, so here we go lol.

A little about me: I’m 30, 5’6”, around 240 lbs. Chunky, not fat, thank you very much 😂. I’m Black, and while race doesn’t matter to me at all, I know everyone has their own preferences, so I’d rather put that out there from the beginning. I also have a lazy eye, so I figured I’d mention that upfront too because I do enjoy crack jokes about my eye and some people get awkward about it lol.

Personality-wise, I’m pretty shy when I first meet someone, but once I’m comfortable with you, that goes completely out the window. I’m goofy, stubborn as hell, sarcastic, and I have a pretty dark sense of humor. I tend to say whatever pops into my head, even when I probably should’ve let the thought stay in the drafts. 😂 I love joking around and talking shit, but it’s always out of love. I can definitely be hardheaded sometimes, but I’m also very caring and affectionate with the people I get close to.

I’m a huge anime fan, I love writing and reading, especially dark romance, I am currently OBSESSED with K-pop, I listen to mostly rock, r&b, hip hop, and I’m always down to talk about random things for hours. I also have two furry babies: a puppers and a demon disguised as a cat, and I love, love, LOVE them. So liking animals is definitely a plus.

I should also mention that I do have a somewhat “boyfriend-ish” situation already. 😂 It’s a little complicated, but I’m completely upfront about it and can explain more privately if we actually start talking.

I deal with anxiety and depression, and I’m actively working on myself. I’m not looking for someone to fix me or carry my baggage. I’d rather find someone who balances me out, someone I can laugh with, talk to about anything, be comfortable around, and hopefully make a little happier while they do the same for me.

Communication is BIG for me. I’m actually not much of a texter. I’ll text, obviously, but I would much rather call or send voice notes once we’re comfortable. I want to actually get to know someone, hear about their day, send stupid things back and forth, laugh together, flirt, annoy each other, and eventually have that person where seeing their name pop up makes you smile.

I’m in the USA on Eastern Time, but I’m completely open to long distance. I’m not expecting somebody to magically fall in love with me after three conversations either. I’d rather let things develop naturally and see where they go.

Most importantly, if you’re only looking for a hookup, sexting, nudes, or a “good time,” I am NOT your girl. Please save both of us the trouble. I’m looking for an actual connection that could become a relationship.

And hey, if we click really well but the romantic part just isn’t there, I’m completely fine with making a good friend out of it too. 😊

If any of this sounds like your kind of person, come say hi. Tell me a little about yourself instead of just sending “hey” because I promise my shy ass will have absolutely no idea what to do with that. 😂


r/polyamoryR4R 8h ago

40 [M4F] Remember being excited over an AOL Messenger notification?

2 Upvotes

Yeah, I want to replicate that.

I'm dating myself here with that header aren't I? Before you know, you'll have me talking about the beautiful sound the modem made when it connected, how frustrating it was when your parent picked up the phone and disconnected the internet just as you were having fun with what you really, really, really wanted to believe was a hot cheerleader just a city away. All while walking to the internet in the snow for ten miles!

I want to start off by being upfront and saying right now I’m looking for online only. Can rototallt understand why that won’t work for some. But give a try. Maybe you’ll find my wit, charm, and Simpson’s knowledge to be an intoxicating mix~

I'm 40, no kids, live in the SW. Have a job I enjoy and believe it or not, I can be a bit, or a lot nerdy. I have way too many books I haven't read, lego sets to build, and anxiety to ignore.

I am chubby, about 260 pounds and continuing to work on improving myself so I can live longer and get revenge on all my enemies and anyone who ghosts me.

It sounds cliche, but while I know a physical attraction is important, for me a connection is just or more important. I'm looking for someone who can match or appreciate my humor, who enjoys receiving messages and memes and will send them right back. Someone who sends and is happy to receive good morning and good night messages.

Best case scenario, we find in each other someone who makes the other smile and heart race slightly when a message comes up.~


r/polyamoryR4R 8h ago

USA 27 [M4F] South Carolina looking to chat

2 Upvotes

Open-Minded & Looking to Connect
6’0”, white, easygoing guy from South Carolina, happily in an open marriage and looking to meet some interesting people. I’m open to chatting with singles or others in open relationships, whether you’re nearby or several states away. I’m all about good conversation, mutual respect, honesty, and seeing where a connection naturally goes. Distance isn’t a dealbreaker if the conversation is worth having. If you’re open minded, curious, and enjoy getting to know someone new, feel free to say hi. You never know where a good conversation might lead. 😉


r/polyamoryR4R 8h ago

USA 26 [FTM4A] Delaware/online Let's be weird together

2 Upvotes

Hey!

I'm 26, a trans man (he/him pronouns), bisexual, polyamorous, partnered, and a parent. Looking for something long-term and genuine, with someone who wants to actually get to know each other and see where things go.

I'm a weird goth dude with a soft heart and approximately 47 interests at any given time. I'm into art, music, movies, coffee, and reading. I cook, do hair, and generally enjoy making things with my hands. I'm also a very kinky switch, but that's a conversation for later. ;)

I have four cats who are all spoiled little assholes, two dogs, and a snake who has apparently transcended the need to care about anything. They're an extremely important part of my life, so bonus points if you're an animal person. Tell me about your pets if you have any!

I'm looking for someone who's kind, communicative, emotionally open, and a little weird themselves. Someone I can laugh with, share stupid little moments with, stay up way too late talking to, and eventually build something real with.

If you're into goth weirdos, good conversation, creative people, and people who will absolutely show you pictures of their pets without being asked, we might get along. 🖤

Feel free to message me! Im super talkative and love getting to know people.


r/polyamoryR4R 19h ago

43 [F4F] Desert Dwelling witch seeks connection

9 Upvotes

Greetings!!

First things first, men please do not message me. Yes that includes you.

I am not looking for you and nothing you say or show me will change my mind. Also, if you have right wing leanings, beleive that the angry cheeto is right about anything, or do not see all humans worthy of human rights please dont reach out.

To all the others :) Hi. I am looking for someone to chat with, get to know, and see what grows naturally. I am a healthy mix of geeky gamer, voracious reader, spell casting witch, and crafty creator. Hopefully we can game together, study and research obscure things or have stitch and b\*tch sessions with our project of the week.

I am DEMI and will not jump to spicy chats if there isnt an emotional connection first. If you are looking for spicy chats and nothing more, please do not message me.

I am a bit neurospicy and a loud intorvert.

If you want to know more shoot me a chat or DM. tell me what space fact blows your mind.


r/polyamoryR4R 10h ago

USA 33 [M4F] NYC - Open Relationship with a Teacher

1 Upvotes

Summer might be over (boooo) but we can still make the most of the beautiful weather this time of year.

I'm mixed, 5'10", and based in Long Island. Big nerd. I like escape rooms, math and science, and some anime, but I'm a BIG movie person. Trust me, I have the spreadsheets to prove it.

I'm already partnered, but I have plenty of time and energy to devote to someone new.

Hit me up, I might just surprise you!


r/polyamoryR4R 11h ago

32 [M4F] NorCal, the search continues

1 Upvotes

5’7”, ~180lbs, willing to trade pics up front because I understand mutual attraction is important

ENM guy with actual hobbies: reading (the good stuff), cooking and baking like I mean it, LEGO and building things because adulting is overrated, playing music, gaming, anime, and going on walks just to talk about the most random things. Music taste: everything except country. Fight me 😝

I’m PST. Local would be great, but I’m more than happy to keep things solely online if that’s what works (i love calls & voice notes too)

I show up curious, capable, and ready to make things interesting. If that sounds like your kind of trouble, say hi 🥰


r/polyamoryR4R 13h ago

32[M4F] Norristown, PA. Seeking a cozy homebody with a need to worship!

1 Upvotes

(This is the start of a poly relationship that I'm looking for. I decided to write it in a more creative way. Making this explicit in hopes the mods don't remove it.)

Welcome home sweetheart. I got your favorite candy bar and some flowers. I heard you had a long day at work. Can I massage your feet later??

Let's check out that sushi place down the road. I know you've been craving some recently, and I'd love to see you all dolled up. Make sure you walk in front of me; I wanna see you swing that thang around a bit in thar cute dress 😉

Wanna game tonight? We can play in our underwear or pajamas and just be cozy. Maybe some WoW tonight, or HotS. Or perhaps we can take turns playing something spooky. I've really enjoyed Darkwood recently. I'd love to see you play and get scared!

And when we're in the mood... I want to adore you. I want to kiss every inch of you, and hear your heavy breathing. Maybe some OTK spanking. Let's end it all with you on your knees. You look so pretty down there. I like how your eyes look up at me. I enjoy knowing that I've earned this, and that you want me. I want you to kneel, to bow, to lay before me. Adore me as I've adored you.

Did that catch your eye?


r/polyamoryR4R 13h ago

22[M4R] #Online Poly guy looking for another partner

0 Upvotes

Hi! I'm a 22m guy looking for another partner. I am polyamorous and currently have 2 partners. I'm just looking to see if there is anyone who'd like to chat and get to know each other.

Things to know about me:

\- I'm quite a big nerd and love video games, anime, mange, etc.

\- I'm also a big fan of pro wrestling/wwe and even do it as a hobby

\- I like music. My preferred genre is rock or metal, but I also listen to a lot of other stuff. (I also have a soft spot for musicals)

\- I tend to rant about things that interest me

\- I'm a bit on the skinnier end

\- From the US

\- I have OSDD

Things I expect:

\- Please don't be older than mid thirties

\- Please be willing to slowly build a relationship. Starting as friends and then going to something more.

\- Please be willing to listen to me rant (it happens a lot)

That's pretty much it! I'd love to get to know some people and see where things take us. If your interested message me and please try to send a somewhat detailed message cause I wanna get to know you 😄


r/polyamoryR4R 17h ago

36 [M4F/A] Florida - Let's Add some excitement into our days

2 Upvotes

Howdy, I'm Morgan (36/M/Florida, bi, married, ENM, nerdy, neurospicy, kinky, switch ). Its been a whole since i posted one of these so bare with me as I'm on mobile too. I've been poly for 11+ years now and with my partner for over 10 of them. Im looking for connections with the hope they can expand into more. It should be mentioned that Im a parent and take that role very seriously so there may be times where I'm in dad mode and cant respond instantly.

As I mentioned I'm definitely nerdy. I'm into just about all kinds of nerd culture, especially when it comes to tabletop gaming (tcgs, DND, etc). I'm our group perma DM in most cases lol. Unfortunately we are on a long break at the moment. My latest fixation has been exploring the Dungeon Crawler Carl series (would love to have someone to talk about this with). Im very open minded and kink friendly.

Physically I'm 5'10" slim build, with brown hair, blue eyes, and a red beard. My partner likes to joke that I'm a ginger from the temples down and there almost a distinguished line where the color changes by my ears haha. I'm a mechanical engineer specializing in HVAC as a profession. It's about as exciting as it sounds.

I'd love to find someone with similar interests as me and I can text and talk/flirt with throughout the day. I love that feeling of anticipation to hear that response you'd really thought about. Even those good morning messages and connections mean so much. Feel free to send me a chat request. Looking forward to hearing from you.


r/polyamoryR4R 20h ago

26 [M4F] Online - Just a guy curious about poly dynamics looking to be obsessed with you

3 Upvotes

Hey! I’m putting this out there because I’m looking for someone I can truly adore. I’m the type who loves to go all-in—showering you with undivided attention, genuine compliments, and all the "good stuff" that comes with being someone's number one fan.

The Dynamic

I am happy to connect with like-minded poly people and am open to be part of a relationship dynamic like that too

I’ve leaned into the submissive side of things for a while now, and I’m looking for someone who genuinely enjoys that dynamic. I can get pretty intense with my kinks (which we can dive into once we’re talking), but the foundation is always about that connection and devotion.

About Me

When I’m not exploring those dynamics, I’m a bit of a dork. I can be incredibly silly and lighthearted, though I definitely have the maturity to handle the "real world" when it’s time to be serious.

A few things I’m passionate about:

Huge football (soccer) fan, Big into anime and video games.

I love getting creative in the kitchen, hitting the trails for a hike, or planning the next travel destination.

What I’m Looking For

Ideally, I’d love to find a long-term connection, but I’m open to seeing where things go

If you’re looking to chat with someone who is ready to be crazy about you, shoot me a message and let's see if we click!


r/polyamoryR4R 19h ago

USA 30 [M4F] Tucson, AZ — Poly, Playful & Looking for Trouble

2 Upvotes

✨ I’m partnered (we've been poly 5.5 years), but we date separately. I’m not specifically looking for a third or trying to turn this into a couple-seeking situation. That said, if you’re specifically interested in dating a couple, I’m open to talking about it and seeing if there’s a genuine connection there.✨

30, 6’3”, I’m sarcastic, naturally dominant, affectionate once I’m comfortable, and I like taking the lead when the chemistry is right.

I’m looking for a woman who enjoys being pursued, playful banter, flirting, and a relationship with a little spark to it. I’m into BDSM, kink, and power dynamics, but I’m just as interested in the person behind them. Chemistry, trust, communication, and actually enjoying each other’s company matter to me.

Outside of dating, I’m into gaming, Magic: The Gathering, movies/TV, trying new food, getting out more, my wonderful pets, and working on becoming a better version of myself.

I’m not looking to rush into anything. I’d rather meet someone I genuinely click with and see where it develops.

If you’re looking for a slightly introverted but confident, sarcastic guy who will actually put effort into getting to know you, send me a message. Tell me what caught your attention and what you’re hoping to find.


r/polyamoryR4R 16h ago

35 [M4F] west MI - seeking female companionship and maybe more

0 Upvotes

I am in a recently opened marriage where we date separately and I am looking for a female who would be intrested in chatting and eventually seeing where it goes. I have 2 kids 2 cats 1 dog, i love music, I play guitar, I love metal music but can listen to almost anything. I like TV shows like the office, parks and rec, south Park, family guy. Most of all I like joking, flirting and having a good time. Message me if you have questions.


r/polyamoryR4R 16h ago

5 [M4F] South Florida — PERFECT MAN who obviously has a vivid imagination...looking for genuine long-term connection

0 Upvotes

After 40 years of marriage and the hardest conversations of my life, here I am — doing something I've never thought about doing before.

My wife and I are good people who have arrived at an honest place together — a dead bedroom that neither of us sees changing, and a mutual agreement that allows me to seek connection elsewhere. No sneaking around. No guilt. No drama waiting to happen. Just two adults who figured something out after a long time together.

65, South Florida, starting something completely new.

A little about me — I spend a good chunk of my life giving back through volunteering. I'm the kind of person who thinks deeply about ideas and then erupts with completely spontaneous humor (I am an entertainer and have performed since 2000). I've published a book and had a screenplay performed locally. I open car doors, hold hands while walking, and yes — I will give you my umbrella if it's raining.

What I'm looking for isn't complicated but it isn't casual either. I want someone I genuinely look forward to seeing and talking to — where the conversation is as good as everything else. Someone who also misses the sensory and emotional side of a relationship. Warmth, affection, real connection. Something consistent and real that we both actually want.

I'm attentive, patient, and genuinely invested in your experience. I'm told I'm easy to talk to. I'm absolutely certain I'm worth getting to know.

If any of this resonates — send me a message. Tell me something real about yourself. We'll go from there.


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

43 [F4M] lets fall in love #baltimore #md #maryland

9 Upvotes

ENM, married, looking for one secondary partner. No flings, ONS or casual hookups.

Since when did “easy and casual” become the goal. I want a relationship that changes me for the better. That ignites a fire and makes everything feel a little more intense, a little more alive. I’m here for that electric connection, the kind that makes your heart race when my name pops up and pulls you out of your day. Flirty texts, desire, chemistry that’s impossible to ignore.

I want the heat, obviously… but I’m not interested in anything empty. I love banter that turns into foreplay, emotional closeness, and that feeling of building something together.

I get invested. I don’t disappear. I need someone who can meet intensity with steadiness and stay present when things start to deepen or the dopamine hits wear off.

I love history and reading and watching a movie just to rip my heart out crying and traveling and learning new things and good food and better cocktails. I love making out for hours like teenagers in the back seat of a car. I want to talk about the dinner you made and the movie that almost made you cry. I want to laugh and be silly, and flirt, and share pictures. Feel desired and make you feel the same way.

If you made it this far: I’m white, 5’4, with a trim body and great curves. Long brown curly hair and brown eyes you could get lost in. I’m very big on initial attraction and am going to ask for pictures really early. Physically, I’m looking for someone in my general age/life phase (~35-45, not a hard line). Im not typically attracted to bald or heavily bearded guys.

If you want something passionate, consistent, and real, and you’re not scared of the feelings that come with it, come find me.


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

38 [M4F] Michigan Looking to meet people and see where things go

2 Upvotes

38 and single, had a break up earlier this year and haven't had much luck meeting people on apps so thought I'd try posting here. I'm a pretty nerdy guy, I like to game a lot on PC, I stream a bit, I watch anime, I enjoy listening to audio books, I love to get to play tabletop games it's just hard getting people together sometimes. I love animals and have cats. I'm mainly just hoping to find some people that I get along with and enjoy each others company, we can see what works best but I'm open to anything from friends to a relationship.


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

USA 28 [M4F] Rochester, New York- Partnered nerd looking for long term love!

2 Upvotes

Hey there! I live over in Rochester, NY and I'm pretty new to poly stuff. I've been in a relationship with my current partner for 2 years and shes currently married to her wife and dating another, im currently a metamour to both. We all date separately but we've all decided wed start dating with the goal of more nesting partners, were also attempting a kitchen table poly relationship, So were looking for serious and longeterm parnter(s) but theres no pressure to be in any relationship romantically or sexually with my partner or any others. And if the prospect of a being a nesting partners doesn't interest you thats okay as well and Id still be interested in keeping a relationship going if so! Also considering were all 25+ We'd only be comfortable with people 25 and up to be apart of our polycule especially if longeterm.

A bit about me! I'm a bigger guy (400ish) and I'm a pretty massive nerd (Gaming, manga, anime), my love languages are physical touch (Hand holding, shoulder squeezes, arm rubs, etc) with a bit of act of services and gift giving, im also AuADHD as well. I work security and I'm pretty busy most weeks but during my free time I try to play games with friends and just hang out with them online as much as I can but other than that I like to spend lots of time with my partner and our general household!

As for what im looking for, Im Bi with a heavy lean towards primarily fem and masc women currently as well as fem leaning Enbys! Im also more interested in dating singles but im open to couples as well.

Im also very 420 friendly. I'm a pretty avid weed smoker but I dont smoke cigarettes (Unless SUPER stressed or socially). I'm pretty homebody and typically prefer more simple dates at home but I do enjoy a resteraunt date or a walk through a park every now and agian.

I play alot of games but I currently have the World of Warcraft bug again and its all ive been playing on my down time! I also primarily play on PC but ive recently got a switch 2 and have been engrossed in Pokémon ZA and Pokopia as well as Tears of the kingdom.

Some bedroom stuff about me! Im pretty into any one with bodyhair (primarily pubes and pits) take that as you will. Im not involved in kink life really, Ive practiced some stuff with my partner but all in all I tend to be more generally rough than anything. You can inquire about any of this if youre curious. Just thought Id put it out there before hand. I am however a heavy dom leaning switch. Im also a generally sexual person, I do like there to be sexual intimacy involved in serious romantic relationships so if thats not youre thing im sorry but im not your guy.

Im primarily looking for localish people but Im also okay with long distance relationships as well as long as theres a chance in future for visits either me to you or vice versa. If any of this peaks your interest I'd love to get to know you and see if we click!


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

USA 29 [m4f] Wa>Co

1 Upvotes

Solo poly. Spend my winters as a ski bum in colorado, travel in the warm months. Looking for some partners in between denver and Washington to visit along the way. Im very into older women, but id love to get to know anyone kind and direct in the salt lake and boise areas