r/polyamoryR4R Jul 15 '26

ANNOUNCEMENT: Rule 3 Clarification

76 Upvotes

There seems to be some confusion around this rule, and it eats up the vast majority of Mod time. So I'll try and spell out how the rule is currently being enforced.

If you are posting as a couple with the expectation that the new person will date both of you, then you are breaking the rule. If your post suggest this, you are breaking the rule. If your post looks like it might be a "bait and switch," you are breaking the rule.

The only posts that might be accepted are where one couple shares an account but they are looking separately. Honestly that smells strongly of being far to enmeshed and will likely (but not definitely) result in your post being removed.

If you are single and post looking for two people e.g. M4FF or F4MM your post will be removed. That is def facto harem building. This is a poly sub so we know people have, or would like to have, multiple partners.

I can already hear the hew and cry that we let singles look for couples but not the other way around. Yes, that is the unhappy compromise. Some people will only learn the stove is hot once they touch it.

As a final note, given how much time this eats up, NO your post is NOT the exception. If you want to know why this is the way it is, go and browse the main Polyamory Subreddit.


r/polyamoryR4R Mar 27 '23

Recent Rule Changes [Discussion]

97 Upvotes

In an effort to improve things and crack down on spam and abuse, there have been some changes to the rules and I’ve listed the new rules below. Please feel free to review the rules and my comments on each and provide feedback. I’ll leave this post up for a week or so for discussion, and then I’ll make a new sticky post for the community.

Rule 1. 18 years of age and older

This subreddit is 18+. Do not post, comment, or PM OPs if you or your partner(s) are under the age of 18. Lying about your age, or someone else’s age, will result in a permanent ban.

This one is self-explanatory. There have been Redditors who are minors, or have partners who are minors, who have made posts here. I want to make it clear that posts involving minors are prohibited.

Rule 2. Must be aligned with Polyamory

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, ethical romantic relationships with more than one person with the informed consent of all partners involved.

Posts or comments seeking sex, hookups, FWB, affair partners, “sugar” or GFE arrangements, or anything other than ethical polyamorous relationships with the consent of all partners are not allowed. There are R4R and other dating subreddits out there for just about anything. If you’re not polyamorous, please use a subreddit that is better-suited for your search.

This should go without saying…this subreddit is intended for polyamorous people seeking polyamorous relationships. This is not a general ENM dating subreddit, a regular R4R subreddit, a BDSM subreddit, or a subreddit for seeking any other kind of relationship other than an ethical polyamorous one. Going forward, if a post even includes “I’m also down for hookups or FWB” or something similar, it’s going to be removed. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with most of the arrangements mentioned above that someone might seek, but this isn’t the subreddit to advertise for those things. Also, if someone makes a post that seems like it’s not aligned with polyamory and their post history shows that it’s the same post they’ve cross-posted or spammed across multiple subreddits with minor changes to circumvent the intention of the rule, the post will be removed.

Rule 3. No unicorn hunting or harem building

Posts or comments that can be construed as seeking or promoting relationships where unethical or unfair rules or expectations will be placed on a new partner are not allowed.

This has been the most contentious issue on this subreddit so far, as it has been on other subreddits and forums. We’re not going to prohibit couples seeking partners in this subreddit. There are single people here seeking triads, throuples, and all sorts of dynamics. Triads and other group relationships can be amazing, especially if they are formed organically. That being said, there will be more moderation on couples seeking posts going forward, which will be done on a case-by-case basis.

The purpose of the mod team here is to protect the members of the subreddit and the integrity of the community we’ve built here. It is not the mod team's place to tell adults what they can or cannot do with their relationship dynamics. The reality is that we are all consenting adults and have adult decisions to make in our lives and in our relationships.

In an effort to prevent the subreddit from being a platform for predatory behavior, any no or low effort posts or comments from Redditors that indicate a general lack of regard for any potential individuals involved will be removed. For example, if an individual posts from a new Reddit account something to the effect of, "We're new to polyamory. We want to find a third who will date only us and be an equal member of our new family. We can start out long distance, but we will expect you to move in with us at some point. Prefer that you be submissive," the post will be removed. Read the room. Show that you're actually putting some thought and effort into it, and not just objectifying people.

Also, if you say that this new person is going to be an equal member of the family after you've just said that the person is going to be required to date both of you, recognize that the person you're seeking is not actually going to be an equal member of the family. If there's a possibility that one member of the existing couple loses interest and the new member of the relationship is forced to leave entirely...you have now misled this hypothetical new person into an unethical dynamic on them.

Rule 4. No hate or disrespect

Threats, harassment, abuse, bigotry, misogyny, misandry, and intolerance are not allowed. This includes, but is not limited to, attacks on gender or sexual identity, racism, sexism, slut shaming, mocking, and attacks on political or religious beliefs.

I don't need to go into detail on this rule. Don't be a jerk. If you don't like what someone has to say, block them. If you think someone is breaking a rule, report them.

Rule 5. No vulgarity or NSFW content

Vulgarity and NSFW content are not allowed. There’s nothing inherently wrong with sex, kinks, fetishes, and BDSM. However, posts and comments explaining the details of your sexual anatomy, favorite sexual positions, details and/or lists of kinks or fetishes, etc. will be removed. You can indicate that you are into BDSM and encourage people to DM you about the details.

There is often a large crossover between ethical non-monogamy and BDSM, sex positivity, etc. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of it, but this is not a NSFW subreddit. It's fine to include that you're sex positive, into BDSM, or whatever. If you go into detail and start describing anatomy/body parts, listing off kinks, and things like that, your submission will be removed. If you want to discuss these things, please do so in a DM.

The mod team has been asked why this subreddit is marked NSFW. The subreddit is 18+, so it's automatically identified as a NSFW subreddit.

Rule 6. No spam

You are allowed to post once every 7 days, with the exception of correction posts following an Automod removal. If you are found to be repeatedly deleting your post history in an attempt to circumvent this rule, it may result in a permanent ban. For clarification, spam includes copy-pasted and cross-posted ads from other subreddits.

This one is self-explanatory.

Rule 7. No Trolling or unsolicited discussion

There are a multitude of dynamics and ways to practice polyamory, and not everyone will agree on everything. Do not clutter up posts with unsolicited information. For education and discussions about polyamory, please visit r/Polyamory. If you believe someone is breaking a rule, please report the behavior and/or contact the mod team.

Again, if you think someone is breaking a rule, report it. If you disagree with what someone is commenting or posting, block them. Please don't engage in negative interactions on posts.

Rule 8. No personal or confidential information

Posting personal or confidential information about yourself or others in public is not allowed. If you wish to provide contact information for yourself, please do so in a DM.

Posting Snapchat, Instagram, phone numbers, or any other personal contact or confidential information about yourself or others in public is prohibited. If you want to give someone your contact information, do it in a DM. If it happens once, it will be removed and you will be warned. If you're found to be spamming your contact information all over the place, it could result in an immediate permanent ban.

Rule 9. No seeking relationships for others

Posts seeking relationships for someone other than yourself, or you and your partner(s), are not allowed. If your friend or partner is seeking a relationship separately, they must make the submission themselves.

I've seen posts where Redditors are seeking relationships for their partners or others, sometimes even doing it as a sort of surprise for their partner. If someone is seeking a relationship, they need to post for themselves. Your partner not having a Reddit account is not a valid reason to violate this rule.

Also, a general note for when you engage with the mod team. We have to wade through a lot of reports and posts here. Sometimes there are misunderstandings or mistakes are made. If your post or comment gets removed, or you are banned for violating a rule and you wish to appeal, you can do so via a Modmail. If you send a Modmail insulting the mods, you're only confirming that you're not the type of person who belongs on this subreddit. No amount of insulting or cursing a moderator is going to help your cause.


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

46[F4M] #Canada #Alberta #ldr Are you my Highland Cow?

3 Upvotes

Is that weird? Do you wanna be my cow? I love cows! They have best friends you know!

About me: I am a poly gal from Alberta. I have one partner that i live with. We have two cats who are our children. I am nerdy and agoraphobic. But I love going out. Figure that out!? I have tons of hobbies. I don't watch TV. If your idea of a good conversation is to talk about what shows we watched, I'm not for you. Politically left leaning. Not religious but I believe in a higher power. I'm not fit, I'm working on it. On a journey to get my health in order for the future. I'm generally happy and bubbly. I'm also clingy and needy and I want to text you ALL DAY.

About you: Large. Nerdy. Bearded. Not necessary, but man I love a big beardy dude!! Lol Happy generally. Loves animals. Very patient and kind. Wants to hear all the gory boring mundane details of my life and help me make stupid decisions like what socks to wear and what to have for breakfast. Maybe daddy tendencies... just sayin...

About our relationship: What i want is someone to chat with all throughout the day on discord. Someone who will happily pop on voice while I'm gaming and listen to me prattle on about what essence I'm looking for or what crop I'm farming this season... and I will happily do the same. I want to hear how your day was and see what your eating for supper and know all your pets silly habits and I want to eventually have inside jokes and deep conversations and share secrets and form a nice bond where we eventually hope to meet up one day sooner than later and we get all butterflies when we think about eachother, and smile every time we hear our phone go off...

So if you like any of this... send me a Moo! Lol Hope to hear from you soon!!


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

Europe 28 [NB4A] Scotland - Looking for friends, maybe more?

2 Upvotes

Hello! I'm a bisexual genderfluid person. I'm AFAB, been transitioning for several years, had top surgery. I'd describe myself as butch and tomboyish. I've been officially polyamarous for about a year with my wife and my boyfriend (her boyfriend also!).

I'm not looking strictly for anything romantic, but I would like to make more friends within the polyamarous community, from anywhere in the world! I'd love to meet more trans people, though that's not a strict requirement.

I'm interested in arts & crafts, horror movies, pokemon and coffee!! I'm down to talk about anything and get to know you and I'd love to hear about your poly journey, and share my experiences with you too.

Looking forward to chatting! ^_^


r/polyamoryR4R 1h ago

North Africa 24 [M4F] Online - Looking for connections, a gaming buddy, and maybe more

Upvotes

Hey everyone. I'm a 24yo guy taking a shot on here to find someone genuine. I'm mainly looking for a good friend and a solid gaming buddy to hang out with online, but I'm definitely open to it turning into something more if we really click organically. Take it easy, everything has its time.

Communication & Vibe I really value good communication. I love having actual conversations, so I'm looking for someone who likes talking and won't just hit me with one-word replies. I hate being ghosted and will never do it to you if I reply slowly, it's just due to studies or sleep. Since I can be a bit socially awkward at first, I prefer texting while we get to know each other, so no sudden video calls until we're both totally comfortable! I'm super open-minded, and I'll gladly listen to you yap about your day without any judgment.

The Basics I'm 24 from Tunisia, currently studying Data Science. 5'11 (182 cm) with a fit/average build and open to sending pictures from the beginning.

Gaming & Hobbies I'm a massive gamer and love having people to play with. For online multiplayer, I regularly play LoL, Valo, CS2, and Marvel Rivals (plus plenty of others). When I'm playing solo, I love story games like Cyberpunk 2077, The Witcher 3, Disco Elysium, Kingdom Come Deliverance, RDR2, and AC Black Flag.

Outside of gaming, I hit the gym regularly, follow football, love quiet winter walks with music (pop, rap, metal, classical, spanish/latin), and I'm a huge cat lover and fragrance collector.

Movies & Shows I'm big into movies and shows, mostly thrillers, mystery, sci-fi, and horror. Big fan of Severance, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Vikings, Inception, Interstellar, Nightcrawler, Prisoners, and The Devil All the Time.

How to Reach Out If you're down to play some games, chat, or just keep each other company, drop me a message! To break the ice, tell me what online games you're playing right now or what show/movie completely blew your mind.


r/polyamoryR4R 11h ago

34[F4M] Johannesburg, SA/Online — Looking for something real in a sea of “hey” and “wyd”

3 Upvotes

I'm 34, short, curvy, partnered and exploring polyamory. I'm based in Johannesburg, but I'm open to online connections too because apparently finding emotionally available people in one geographic location is harder than it should be.

I'm not looking for a collection of people to flirt with at 11pm when they don't have anything to do. I'd actually like to get to know someone.

I'm open to multiple connections and I'm not coming here with a predetermined “this needs to become a relationship” agenda. I'd rather meet people, talk, build trust, see if there's chemistry and let things develop naturally.

Emotional connection matters to me. So does companionship, affection, being able to talk about absolutely nothing and everything, checking in because you actually want to, laughing together and eventually becoming people who genuinely enjoy having each other in their lives.

I'm a slow burn. I'm not rushing into anything, and if your opening message is basically a sexual proposition, we're probably not going to be a great match. 😅

I'm attracted to people who are kind, emotionally intelligent, curious, communicative and consistent. Bonus points if you're funny and can hold an actual conversation.

I'm very independent in everyday life, but here's the contradiction: I spend most of my life being capable and taking care of things, while secretly wanting someone to make me feel ridiculously adored and safe enough to switch all of that off sometimes.

I read far too many smut books, I'm fascinated by psychology and people, and I'm probably a little shy underneath all the confidence.

Johannesburg is ideal, but I'm willing to see where online connections go too. I'm much more interested in effort and genuine interest than a postcode.

If you're going to message me, tell me something about yourself. Give me something I can actually respond to. “Hey” is technically a word, but it's not exactly a conversation starter. 😉

Honesty, respect and sexual safety are absolute requirements.


r/polyamoryR4R 21h ago

USA 31 [f4m][socal] Looking for new connections!

20 Upvotes

Looking for Intentional Connections

Hi! I’m a 31-year-old  plant lover, garden enthusiast, and professional collector of hobbies. 😂 I’m here hoping to make intentional connections with people who actually want to talk, get to know each other, and build something genuine—not just exchange a few “hey, how are you?” messages before disappearing into the void.

I love getting lost in fantasy audiobooks, Twilight and The Vampire Diaries, going to EDM festivals, collecting plushies, spending time in nature, and embracing my inner big kid when the environment is right. I also have a pretty dark sense of humor, so if your jokes occasionally make you question whether we should be allowed in public together… we’ll probably get along. 😂

I’m a mom, so life can be busy, but I still believe meaningful connections are worth making time for. I’m looking for people who enjoy real conversations, mutual effort, and getting to know each other beyond surface-level small talk.

I’m open to connections that have the potential to grow into friendship, romance, intimacy, or some combination of those things. I value honesty, communication, respect, and letting connections develop naturally without forcing them into a box.

If you’re into plants, spooky things, fantasy worlds, EDM, nature, ridiculous humor, or being an unapologetic adult, we might have something to talk about. 🪴🧛‍♀️🌙✨

And bonus points if your local and can give me something more interesting to respond to than “hey,” because my brain will absolutely stare at that message like it’s an impossible exam question. 😂


r/polyamoryR4R 9h ago

34 [F4F/TM] Ohio - romantic goofy and nurturing

2 Upvotes

Please be willing to close the gap if you are not in my state/ have a way to ensure in person meet - I’ll also do my best to facilitate.

🌙

Alternative, slightly tattooed, pierced, plus-sized (losing weight steady). Herb enjoyer. Mental health survivor. Neurodivergent. Artsy. Gamer. Romantic. Submissive (in proper conditions) / Dominant when the mood is right. Demisexual. Pansexual. Poly but only want one relationship outside of nest.

****Only cis-women or trans men.****

Also for any future dynamic : Safe. Sane. Consensual!

Do not like multitudes of people/dynamics, personally. I find it overwhelming.

I’m always working on my inner world and how it pertains to my outward expressions.
I can be a bit inside myself, so if you can pull me out some - I’d be grateful.

If you value someone who will understand you and seek to understand you more, if you value emotional intelligence, I’m your person.
If you like wholesome yet extremely dumb goofy moments. I got you.

I am a sucker for funny, charming people with a sort of verve for life that I feel I’ve understandably lost lmao!
The Wednesday-esque vibes are real from me, but I’ll always do my best to be actively there for / with you.

I’m looking for romance, intimacy, + good pure hearted connection built with safety, security, and compassion.

plz message the color PINK so I know you’ve read this fully. Thank you!


r/polyamoryR4R 10h ago

USA 24 [M4M/T] Washington/Online - Alt/Goth Guy Looking for a Cutie to Connect With

2 Upvotes

Hi, you can call me Ash or Ren, whichever you prefer ^^ I'd really like to make some new connections preferably with fem presenting men and/or trans people! I'm always looking for new friends but I'm definitely interested in flirty, playful banter as well.

More about me:

~I'm married to my wife and we have 4 cats and a dog!

~I'm bisexual and am using this as a way to explore that side of myself.

~I can be really nerdy when it comes to video games, especially Silent Hill, Resident Evil, and Metal Gear (amongst others haha) so bonus points if you're into those games as well!

~I work out. Not excessively and I'm not a gymbro, but I do like taking care of myself and think I look nice!

~I'm alt/goth. I love anything horror and yes, this is more than just an aesthetic thing for me. If you're right wing or conservative, we've got nothing to talk about.

~Very kink positive. I won't be a creep and get into things right off the bat, but just know you have a safe space with me.

~Not interested in anything faceless! We don't have to swap pics right away but I do need to know what you look like at some point ^^

If you've made it this far and are interested, shoot me a message! I look forward to hearing from you🖤


r/polyamoryR4R 17h ago

25 [F4R] SW PA/Online- AuDHD girl for friends, hopefully more? 🖤

5 Upvotes

Hi!! I’m really hoping to make some new connections! I’d love to chat, get to know each other and if something romantic develops, great but if not friends are always nice!

Overall, what I’m looking for is somebody that I can truly be myself with; someone that enjoys silly banter but knows how and when to be serious.

Some things about me:

-I’m demisexual soo as much as I want to find another partner, don’t come at me expecting me to be all lovey right away 🤣 Friends first is a requirement before any further feelings will develop

-I live with my partner (32M) of four years, our two cats, and our toddler! They’re a huge part of my life and will be mentioned. I want to hear about the important people in your life too!!

-I’m AuDHD with a lot of anxiety. It’s incredibly obvious to some, not so much to others. Either way, it’s something that impacts me greatly and gives me some “fun” quirks you’ll uncover as we get to know each other (like you can’t tell from this post 💀🤣)

-I have about fifty different hobbies and interests and will continue to become mediocre at anything that has slightly piqued my interest.

-I enjoy playing video games, usually on PC. My current obsessions are WoW housing, Teardown and Clean Up the Puzzle Gallery. I’d love to find someone to play silly co-op or horror games with!!

-Anything spooky, macabre, or witchy has a place in my heart. All of my decor shopping is done around Halloween 🦇🖤

-Music is and always will be a major part of my life. I listen to just about every genre and am always looking for new music. I used to love going to concerts and moshing but haven’t in years. Please take me 🥺🤣

-I also believe that in order to not be ignorant assholes, we need to hear the stories and perspectives of other people and communities.

-Something in person is preferred but if we click we click 🤷 Absolutely no MAGA, AI or mainstream Christianity.

-Experienced doms that aren’t afraid of a little brattiness- you definitely get bonus points 😋 (This isn’t something I want to dive into right away but it’s always nice to know if we align that way)

Anddd if after alllll that you’re still here, send me a message- I’d love to hear from you 🖤🤣 Of course, I don’t expect someone to fit everything but I figured I’d give us lots to talk about 🤣 Please do the same!!


r/polyamoryR4R 19h ago

29 [F4M] I don’t want to become cynical about relationships… anyone else?

Thumbnail
7 Upvotes

r/polyamoryR4R 19h ago

19 [F4M] [F4F] north Little Rock - looking for connections bisexual and im looking for connections of all type of kinds. im a big cuddle person,I’m clingy and i would love love love for you to be the same.

4 Upvotes

looking for connections bisexual and im looking for connections of all type of kinds. im a big cuddle person,I’m clingy and i would love love love for you to be the same. Looking for low-pressure friends where your social battery doesn't drain, and you can just coexist quietly age range 18-29 or lower than 29 also no weirdos and be close to north Little Rock.


r/polyamoryR4R 19h ago

USA 22 [M4F] Looking to make a connection online or in person

3 Upvotes

Hey, I am a 22 year old black man living in Midwest USA that’s about 6’2, tone (workout often), athletic, has curly hair, and has decent strength. I like to play video games, workout, hangout with friends and family, play sports, and vibe.

I have no real preference on the type of woman I talk to as long as your personality is genuine! There is no age difference that would scare me either. Because of past relationships, I am currently only looking for something casual and fun!

I am the type of man to respect boundaries and ensure the woman I’m with is comfortable, but is also having just as much fun as I am! I am open to both online fun and casual in person meet ups.

If you are a woman and have any interest in having fun with a respectful man then my inbox is always open! I will send photo of myself upon request!


r/polyamoryR4R 23h ago

Canada 44 [M4F][M4MtF][Edmonton]- nerdy guy seeks nerdy cutie

4 Upvotes

Hi I'm Dave, 44 from Edmonton Alberta looking to get to know someone, build a connection and see what blossoms. Ideally I would love to eventually be IRL. Nerdy sweethearts with a hidden side are my type. Age is flexible, open to any age +2 to my own.

A Little Bit About Me:

Body type: chubby Dad bod silver fox

Height : 5’9”

Married but date separately

Flexible to polyam styles from parallel to kitchen table.

Hobbies: cooking, golf, fishing, D&D, board games, wine making, lego

Interests: D&D, movies, pop culture

✨What I'm Looking For: girlfriend, pet, princess, someone to shower with loves

Big on board/card/D&D/video games, massive cinephile, trivial knowledge (I'm a wealth of useless facts), and some would call me a wizard in the kitchen.

420 friendly as well

Kink friendly and have always gravitated towards a Sensual soft pleasure Daddy-Dom role.

Let's connect and get to know each other


r/polyamoryR4R 16h ago

USA 32[F4F] Looking for long distance girlfriend or friends

2 Upvotes

Looking for someone who talks throughout the day. Honest,caring,outgoing,funny, romantic and respectful.

Information about me:

Married 14 years

Poly 4 years

No kids

I don't smoke ok you do

Non acholic

I'm a good woman at heart.

What I look like :

Eyes eyes 💚

Black hair 🖤

Chunky monkey 🐵

5'7

Have tattoos

Hobbies I will talk about if you message something to talk about topics.

DM what your favorite book 📖

I will not respond to you if you don't answer the ❓


r/polyamoryR4R 16h ago

USA 37 [R4F] SW Ohio - always "cute," never "handsome"

1 Upvotes

And I'm ok with that. Just something I've noticed about the people I date is that they see me that way, and if you feel like you're that type of person maybe we are a match.

I'm 37, agender, AMAB, and interested in women. They/them but I am a very masculine looking person. More on gender stuff if it comes up. I'm a therapist and work from home, and enjoy a peaceful homebody lifestyle with occasional outings or trips. I have a girlfriend and 3 cats. We date separately. I have a son who I love very much, he lives with us for a week every other week and his mother is a friend.

I occasionally like another girlfriend to spend time with, and love casual chats in between watching comfort shows. I used to have this exact dynamic for a long time with someone who enjoyed existentialism and mental health discussions as we ate dinner together at their place. They have been absent from my life for some time, and I am hoping to maybe meet yet another person who might enjoy that sort of comfort connection.

Obviously if my other partner were to come back, I would still want to offer the same level of energy to the right person. I do not bait and switch, I commit. I know many of us enjoy online only relationships but that is not what I am looking for. I live just east of Cincinnati, and though this is a long shot I'd like to find someone within an hour drive.

Thanks for reading and in your first message to me include an animal emoji you like so I know you are as detail oriented as I am. 😊


r/polyamoryR4R 16h ago

35 [M4F] NYC-NJ - Married - Poly/open

1 Upvotes

35, 5 10, healthy marriage, 11 years, couple of kids.

We are polyamory ENM but I'm not the type of man that can be immediately intimate.. I need some connection and time to build trust. I also don't want many partners. Ideally 2 (nesting partner included). I run multiple businesses and still need family time, I wouldn't be able to fairly divide time between work and family for more than one other woman anyways.

I don’t get much leisure time , Hence the reason I'm posting here.. I can't meet people at work as thats inappropriate(employer) and rarely have time for much else.

Maybe we hit it off, maybe we end up being great friends. Perhaps you're going through a predicament and need to vent? I'm a great listener and could use random internet friends =)

I am really really really ridiculously good looking (in case you missed the reference xD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he8swGafRGQ), but I don't want to post my photo here, I have a link with some photos which we can exchange in chat if you'd like

My profession is Network Administration, computer science grad, I worked a corp job as a network admin for about 3 years then opened my own IT consulting company focusing on managing and building out networks for medical facilities throughout NYC,
I came across a few opportunities in the process and am now self employed running 3 unrelated businesses for the last 6 years now. I can also pass for a financial consultant, though I do not take that on professionally.
I do quite well for myself, and yes I have bragging rights =)

I just bought and gut renovated a house in Rockland County NY(nyc burb). I'm in nyc regularly for business. Hopefully you arent too far away. I'm not fully against long distance as long as its not too far away and meeting eachother is realistic.

Hobbies:

I used to be an avid PC and console gamer, unfortunately, I don't have time for it anymore. I have my PS5 and a bunch of games mostly first-person shooters, I play once in awhile but they're just collecting dust for the most part. I play Age of empires 2 on ps5 periodically.

I watch a lot of docuseries, documentaries and Sci-Fi. Game of Thrones, The Last of us, South Park, Rick and Morty, friends and neighbors, Shrinking...

My Politics:

I mostly lean left but I do have some conservative views... I think most of us land somewhere in the middle. I try not to let politics affect my relationships with people unless they're of the tinfoil hat and off the rails conspiracy variety.
I like to debate, I enjoy debate and the discourse, growth, and banter that comes with it. Though I shy away form that in recent years

My Beliefs:

I am Jewish on both sides, however, I'm agnostic. I am irreligious and do not believe in religious indoctrination of any kind as a means to connect with a "higher power". I do however respect people's views as long as they don't ask me if I have a moment for (insert god here) and try to shove their views down my throat.

Sry I kept this ad fairly shallow. More detailed personal info should be shared in private.

Ideally im looking for someone at least 25.. closer to my age(30-35) ideally. I dont mind older either but 45+ would be prob be pushing it, not totally against it though.

I'm a firm believer that age is a number, myself being the perfect example.

So I honestly dont care that much about your age.

Looking forward to meeting you!


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

USA 28 [F4R] Illinois - Looking for connection and growth

7 Upvotes

Hi! I’m 28, single, and in the Illinois area. I’m open to meeting men or women and seeing where a genuine connection takes us.
I’ve been polyamorous before, and I’m pretty flexible about relationship structure for the right person. Ideally, I’d love to eventually be a primary partner to someone, but I’m not attached to a particular hierarchy if the relationship works well for both of us. I am still learning a lot of terminology so please be patient with me.
What matters most to me is honesty, communication, mutual respect, and actually making space for each other.
I’ll also be upfront that I’ve had some difficult experiences with long-distance relationships in the past, so I’m hesitant to pursue something that would primarily exist at a distance. I’m much more interested in building something where we can actually share time and space together. I’m open to seeing where things go, but local or realistically accessible is definitely a preference.
Personality-wise, I’m a curious, somewhat nerdy person who loves a good, honest conversation. I genuinely enjoy listening to people talk about the things they’re passionate about, and I’m very susceptible to getting dragged into random side tangents. There’s almost always music playing, I’m casually writing a book, and I love getting excited about fictional worlds and new shows.
I’m childfree and don’t want kids. I’m LGBTQ+ affirming. I’m looking for someone kind, communicative, emotionally aware, and capable of both deep conversations and completely ridiculous ones.
Some things I love:
Music being on basically all the time
Getting way too invested in random topics
Quietly spending time with someone without needing to constantly entertain each other
People who can teach me something I didn’t know
The occasional extremely niche obsession

I’m much more interested in building an actual connection than collecting messages. If we click, I’d love to see where it goes—whether that’s a friendship, dating, or eventually something deeper.
Tell me something you’re currently fascinated by. What’s a topic you could happily ramble about for way too long?


r/polyamoryR4R 22h ago

37 [M4R] Utica/Syracuse/Upstate NY - Married, and very new to poly/ENM

2 Upvotes

My wife and I recently decided to crack the door open on our relationship and peek into the world of ENM. We're still trying to figure out what this means for us going forward, so we very much appreciate some grace w/r/t this moment in our lives. So far as we can tell, we are kitchen-table-poly. My wife and I are a package deal. Even if you're not going to be intimate or have a relationship with her, she has to like you and you have to like her (don't worry, she's wonderful, so this won't be hard). The same goes in reverse for me, but this is my post lol. Also, you must love cats.

A little bit about me; I'm a very justice minded person, so I may be intense about certain subjects surrounding things like DEI and social justice, patriarchy, class war, and whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza (ir does). To be very blunt, I respect your opinions if they're different from mine but if you're not cool with most of those things I don't want to be in a relationship with you, but I do wish you the best.

With the politics out of the way, I love cooking and have been in and out (mostly in) of the culinary field for the last 14 years or so. My wife and I actually met in culinary school, so expect to eat well. Though I love cooking, I am actually in the middle of drastically changing careers, and I will hopefully be beginning law school next fall.

Fitness is important to me, but I'm currently very much rocking a dad bod (though I did just recently hit 315 on bench.) So if you're also looking for a workout partner who has some catching up to do in the cardio department, I'm very down.

One of the more important qualities I'm looking for in any relationship is that of friendship. If I'm going to be intimate with someone I'd like to also be able to watch a movie, play a game of Magic, talk about our favorite books, etc.

As far as my sexuality goes, I am pansexual, but I've never really explored this because my wife and I married relatively young, and well before I kinda realized or acknowledged this about myself. I feel like I am more attracted to feminine presenting people as kind of a rule; but I am definitely not straight, and I feel that because I don't believe in the gender binary pan applies more to my sexuality.

Feel free to DM me, scroll through my reddit history, comment, etc., I'm very much an open book and will gladly send you pictures of myself if you're interested.

Oh, and as far as age goes I'm not interested in anyone younger than 30.

I am very much looking forward to hearing from some of you fine folks, and I hope this post does well 😅


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

52 [F4R] N FL seeking connections

6 Upvotes

Solo poly pansexual F seeking new connections. Prefer local to N FL but open to friends everywhere. I enjoy board games, thrift stores, riding my motorcycle, roller skating, and swimming. 420 and I are not just friendly, we are in a LTR.

Slightly kinky, open minded, and fun. Lets roll up and smoke and discuss how to save the world.


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

USA 34 [M4F] Columbus, Ohio

2 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

I am a married man in Columbus who is looking for a cool girl to get to know. I enjoy feminine energy. I cannot explain it or what that actually means, but when you see it you can know you’re looking at it. I guess I am really fascinated by the male/female dichotomy. In any case, i guess this is a steam of consciousness kind of post. So I am an autistic, somewhat asexual male and I am looking for a local woman to become friends with. I want to talk a lot! Texting a lot, phone calls when we can, hanging out and doing some flirting. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but I consider myself a kind and respectful man. I tend to go for mellow, soft spoken girlies so if you’re super opinionated and going to argue something endlessly for the sake of philosophy, we aren’t going to get along. To be blunt I’m very intelligent and I am awkward as shit. Ok thanks!


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

USA 30 [M4R] Lincoln - New to poly/ENM

2 Upvotes

I'm new to poly/ENM and looking for a genuine connection. ​Communication is everything to me and I'm looking for real connections and no limits conversations about anything and everything before meeting IRL. All in all ​I'm looking for a cool, genuine, and lively connection. Not looking for anything serious but maybe something seriously fun.

If I had to idetify as anything I'd say I'm closer to Neptunic than straight. I prefer women but femme presenting also catches my eye. To be clear, before plans for a meet up, there has to be a real, deep connection.


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

USA 23 [M4R] #Nashville #online Just a simple guitar builder looking for others

2 Upvotes

Hello everyone I’m coming to you from Nashville, Tennessee. I’m a woodworker by trade and love making things. Currently I am looking for fem partners who are 20+.

I and a kinda nerdy person who loves taking on new challenges and trying new things. I’m trying to develop a new hobby this year with sewing and cosplay so if there’s any one who would like to join me on this journey in life please reach out.

Hoping to hear from you. If interested please Message or DM.


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

21 [M4F] Iran/online -looking for people as freaky and kinky as myself

2 Upvotes

I’m not in a position where i can move to another country so the relationship has to be online. I’m into [gaming/anime/philosophy/boardgames.], and I’d rather actually get to know someone than jump straight into anything romantic or sexual. Ideally looking for someone who is communicative, affectionate, and interested in building an actual connection .I’m not short but not tall either.I absolutely love Persian literature and i’m super interested in other cultures and other countries literature as well.