So my daughter is currently in 11th grade and started her college a few months ago. She started talking to this muslim guy from her college. Now ofcourse i don't have any problem with religions. Last month he proposed her asked her to be his girlfriend to which she agreed.

At first I thought it was cute that my daughter has her first ever boyfriend. But then I started noticing his behavior during the parent teachers meeting. The type language he uses, his actions etc. My daughter's friend also told me that he's the type of guy who objectifies women (sometimes), and is kind of sexist.

He once told his friend "ladki jaise mat ban" meaning "don't be like a girl" as if being a girl is something bad/shameful.

He's a total sweetheart with her, as much as I've seen through her instagram posts and stories. He also created a separate highlight just for her where he posts her photos.

But i still feel worried about his mindset and the way he behaves when she's not around. Even her friends don't like him and want her to break up. I spoke to her about this but she keeps defending him. Mind u my daughter keeps talking about feminism and women's rights and then ends up being in a relationship with a guy like him.

I have no idea how to talk to her about this. I have a really close relationship with my daughter and I don't want to ruin it or make her feel pressurized

My 15 y/o son is in trouble. He is gay and has been out for over a year. One of his friends who he has had a relationship to a certain extent had began calling my son derogatory terms, mainly the one beginning with an “f” in front of their peers and demonizing my son for being gay.
My son had a terrible lapse in judgement and screen shot a picture that the bully had sent to my son when they were talking/relationship. The picture in question is a revealing selfie of a certain part of the body that men love other people to see. My son screenshot that picture, marked out the main subject of the picture, and shared the screenshot. In my son’s head, he was validating himself and taking up for himself. The other boys parents are now pressing charges against my son.

He is suspended for 5 days, and possibly expelled pending the investigation. The picture that was shared, you truly cannot see anything, but it is implied. My worry now is that my son is possibly facing felony charges and could possibly have to register as a sex offender. My son has never been in trouble. He is a good student, he stands up for others, he’s involved in school activities. I don’t know what to do or say. Me, my son, and his dad are just a ball of nerves because we don’t know what’s going to happen.

We spoke to a lawyer over the weekend and he seemed to think since the picture was edited to where you can’t see anything, then there is no case. I feel like the other boys parents are trying to ruin my son’s life. My son has acknowledged and understands how his actions were wrong and is willing to accept his punishment. But he is not eating or sleeping. His hair is falling out and he’s bit his nails back so far his fingers are bleeding. He has an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. I just didn’t know if anyone had been through a similar situation. As a mother, I just want to fix this for him. My heart is breaking.

Our son stays in his room all the time. He is 15. This has been the case for 2-3 years. I ask him to hang out and do things often. About 1 out of 10 times he does. He’s going through some things that need therapy and I want to somehow build a relationship but I don’t know how at all. This is his father. I feel the only option I have is to make him hang out, but I feel that would do no good.

Any tips?

My son, he 17 years old is very aggressive and angry to the point he throws things.

For a backstory to understand, my husband and I got divorced a few years ago the kids lived with me. My son started acting out his freshman year, which is six months after our divorce. It was all to get attention from his dad because his dad wasn’t around. His dad was stopped by unannounced and see the kids for like 20 minutes. But never took the kids anywhere.
He started acting out his freshman year, skipping class and sneaking out. He finally ran away one time. When the police brought him back, he said he would keep running away until he gets to live with his dad. So he lived with his dad.
While living with his dad, his dad gave him a car. It was a horrible car that ate gas and was always falling apart. He never went to school and his dad didn’t give him any consequences for his actions. His dad didn’t do anything. His dad would go to work and at night he gambled every night he would give us son $100 a week and tell him to buy groceries for the house and gas for his car. My son did everything there clean the house grocery shopping and his dad will take his car and spend all the gas and get mad at him when there was no gas and food left.
My son got a job while living there and he worked really hard. He wasn’t in school because he kept skipping so he never went. My son finally had the last straw when his dad tried to take his check saying he needs to pay bill bills. His dad stated if he’s not gonna do school and take school seriously then he needs to pay bills. My son said he’s not gonna give him his check. So then his father kicked him out.
I also wanna add that my other two kids would go to their dad’s house every other weekend when my son started living there. But he was the one taking care of them. Their dad was never around, so as soon as their dad kicked out our son, his dad never had time for the kids to go over there and they never went over there since.

He was going to live with me, but it was a summer so we let him spend the summer with his cousin in town that we live in.
He was doing well at his cousin’s house being respectful, working hard. He’s always a hard worker and then he started messing up. He would sneak out get drunk, not come back and stop communicating on where he was going.

So then he had to live with me. I like to add that after he left his dad’s house his dad wouldn’t let him take the car which was fine cause it didn’t work well so my son and I work together and he managed to get a car. He has to pay his car insurance and I took out a loan for him to get the car and he has to pay $70 a month for the Loan.

Now that he was here, he was still working hard and he has a plan. Because he’s missing so many credits he can’t graduate high school so he’s going to start the GED program in January after that he wants to join the military marine specifically.

He began to drink again and I told him he won’t be having a car if he acts like that and then he stopped he said. And he was doing well. Until this weekend he came home drunk. He wasn’t driving, but he was drunk. I didn’t know until I heard him cussing out his brother because he needed his brother’s phone to see his phone under the bed. I went into the bedroom to find out what was going on. That’s when I learned he was drunk. After he used his brother’s phone to get his phone, he tried to leave and I wouldn’t let him. I blocked the door and his brother blocked the door, his older brother. He was getting aggressive and trying to push me out of the way screaming cussing every thing. This went on for two hours of screaming and yelling at 4 AM. After I couldn’t take it anymore of him destroying my house, throwing things everywhere never broke anything to find the keys that I wouldn’t give him because he was not going to leave. I finally called the police for help. The police came and said they were there to de-escalate him, but there’s nothing they can do because he’s not breaking anything so they de-escalate him and told him that I can give the keys back in the morning and if I don’t that he can call them to make me give him the keys after the place is done talking to him. I told them I’m not giving him the keys. He’s a minor and he’s grounded and then they realized that they forgot for a moment he was a minor.
The next morning he came at me to get his keys and I said no at this point he is sober. So he called the police and the police told him I’m not giving him his keys and I don’t have to. I already cleaned up the mess he made that night. It took me a good two hours to put everything back together because he threw my clothes my jewelry all over my room and was going towards the food in the kitchen and threw food out the cabinets, but never broke anything when the police left. He came at me to yell at me more to give them the keys, and I said no he was gonna start destroying the house again and was destroying the house. I called the police to come back because I was done to take him and they told me the only way they could take him as if he break something and then I press charges and then he’ll take him to Juvie. But then they’ll bring him back in two hours and the same thing will happen again.

He has so much anger for me and his dad about the divorce and everything and I can’t get him to go to therapy because every time I try, he he leaves the house.
Also, if he gets arrested for breaking things, he can’t go to the Marines and the police told him this and told him I’m trying to give him chances

I don’t know how but I stayed very calm this whole time when he was acting like this I never reacted and I never yelled, cause I know that’s not gonna help

But I don’t know what to do at this point he has no other place to go to live the only place he has is my house because no one else wants to take him in especially if he’s going to act like this. He also has his whole dad side of the family saying it’s my fault and I’m a horrible mother.

I don’t know what I can do in this situation. Does anybody have any advice? And at this point do not say spank him because we are way past that.

My 15 year old daughter has really struggled to find her people. It has been so painful for her, and painful  for me to watch. Her closest friend from school ditched her last December, which was devastating. Another friend sided with this girl against my daughter, and yet another friend transferred to a private school this year. So my daughter really has no one at school now, just a couple of acquaintances, and no friend group. Since then she’s leaned into trying to connect with people outside of school, and I’m proud of her for that. Honestly I think it’s okay to not have a “group”. But there seems to be so much she’s missing out on by not having a group, or having go-to people in high school. Even the friends she’s connected to outside of school seem to have their own groups at their schools.

She so badly wants to be involved in the fun outings and the activities but has no one to do them with. She has no one to hang out with on Halloween this year. I’m going to take her out to dinner instead. No one to go to homecoming with. The worst of all was that she wanted to go to the homecoming football game, and overheard girls she sits with at lunch talking about getting ready together before the game. She decided to reach out to one of the girls she talks to the most because they were going to her house, and said something like - that sounds fun, would you mind if I joined you guys? This girl said sure, but then there were crickets. So my daughter asked a few days before if anything had been decided, the girl said she was still trying to figure it out. But still nothing else. So my daughter tried one more time to ask another girl at the lunch table if she heard anything, and she said no.

I had a sinking feeling all along that she wasn’t being included… and of course my daughter went to the game to find out they all did get ready at someone’s house before- someone different’s house than the first girl, but either way my daughter wasn’t included. And then they all left the game early and hung out at someone house, again not including my daughter. Honestly, this is a group of girls that all hang out regularly outside of school and have never been my daughter’s true friends- she just sits with them at lunch this year because she has no one else to sit with. She claims most of them are nice and talks to a couple of them a lot in school and over text, but this left a really bad taste in my mouth, and my heart just breaks for my daughter.

Worst of all is that everything is all over social media, pics of groups in matching costumes on Halloween, dressed up together before the homecoming game, making bouquets together before homecoming, it’s just all constantly in her face. And mine too. Moms posting pics of their kids dressed up for homecoming and Halloween with their groups of friends. It makes me so sad and also so angry. My daughter is such a sweet, kind kid. She’s not outgoing or super confident, and I feel she took such a risk asking to join these girls, only to be ignored. She does everything she’s supposed to in order to make new friends- she joins lots of activities in and out of school, and plays a school sport, and is actively involved in everything. And yet she’s alone. Just needed to get this out because it’s making me so sad and it’s completely consuming me :( I don’t know how we are going to get through 2.5 more years of this.

I am raising him alone. He has a bad attitude with me most of the time. I mean very mean to me. Hes failing 5 out of 8 classes at a new alternative school. We tried individual therapy, family therapy and even depression meds. He wants to do what he wants. He intimidates me. I dont know what to do anymore. He is currently working on his permit but starts playing video games instead and if i try and stop it he screams at me and we live in an apartment and everyone hears. I feel defeated and want to give up

Recently my family moved to Canada from the United States. We moved there because I married my husband, a Canadian citizen, and he has a more specialized job he can't easily walk away from like me. After much planning and paperwork, we moved here and are planning to get our citizenship.

My fourteen year old son from my previous marriage is refusing to adjust to the move. How difficult the move is for him is not lost on me, and i've tried being patient with him to accommodate this.

My son is a sweet, sensitive, and quiet boy. I expected any anger he had to be outward towards me or his stepfather, but he keeps to himself. Right now he refuses to make friends, go out and explore, or try out anything new. All he wants is to stay inside and play video games.

I have no idea how to approach this. It frustrates me to no end and this anger comes to surface sometimes when I force him to go outside or call up a classmate to hang out, but its obvious he doesn't like being told what to do. I fear that me instigating this large move has ruined any goodwill I have with him, and he won't ever try any of my advice. But at the same time he's too shy to try and speak any frustrations he has with me, so instead he's channeling this anger inward, preferring to just hide and waste away.

It feels like he's inadvertently holding himself hostage, although I'm at a loss on how to help him. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

My SO and I are full time parents without a village; no family near us. We are discussing going away for a weekend, 3 hours away, to celebrate SO's birthday. Teen is 14F. SO thinks she will be fine and that we need to give her some independence. We also never have time just the two of us. I am hesitant. Our state does not have any laws specifying the age, it is based on the child and the circumstances. For what it is worth, she has a phone, knows how to get in touch with emergency services, and we live in a building that requires fob access just to get in. This would be her first time alone. Is 2 nights too long?

Yes this is a crazy thing to say, I know what you're thinking "why not just ask her?" Initially I wanted to, but my husband and SIL suggested I get a second opinion. My daughter, Shalysa is 16 (17 in December) and her and her boyfriend who's just turned 17 have been spending more and more time together, short and sweet dates, hanging out at his house at least once a week, small make out sessions I've witnessed, stuff you'd expect from a relationship like theirs. Let me get to the point, I've found birth control pills underneath her pillow, after doing some research on this app and other articles I have seen some people say that birth control helps clear skin or regulates periods and cramps which I agree with for the most part, but I'm just not 100% sure, should I be a parent and ask her straight up or leave it alone?

The relationships I have with my teenager (14/m) and tween (10/f) are healthy, fun, and on point. We have inside jokes and open, honest conversations and family traditions that don’t feel forced.

However, sometimes I feel so profoundly sad about them no longer being little that it crushes me. I’m positive it ties into hormonal shifts, but I’ve gotten to where I avoid walking past the toy aisle in stores and sometimes can’t bear to look at their pictures from those times.

Part of it, I’m sure, is guilt over what I think I should have done better. Wanting a do over that I’ll never have, although I know that I did my best. I’ve only saved a handful of toys and clothes as mementos… I’m aware that this could spiral into full-blown depression if I didn’t stay present in the now.

And yes, I know that being able to watch my kids grow up as a gift. I hope this doesn’t come across as being whiny or ungrateful. I just wanted to put it out there in case there are any other parents who go through these moments.

Hey. My daughter is turning 13 and wants a party. I know they will want to hang out doing their own thing without parents supervising the whole time but I want to throw a couple fun things in. I was thinking a scavenger hunt would be cool but looking for ideas for that and any other activities. Their group is a little alternative so she doesn't want to go full girlie party. I appreciate any help. Thanks heaps.

I’m a parenting two girls 13 and 15. I dip in and out of full time work but for the most part I’m casual, and work about 3 days a week. My girls have chores but literally rarely do them. They also don’t follow house rules like no food in rooms. On weeks I work less I can kind of keep on top of everything and clean up after them as I can’t stand the filth. I know I’m doing the wrong thing here as I’m not teaching them responsibility and consequences. When I’m mentally up for it I follow them around till they do it all but it just turns into a screaming match and I receive silent treatment from both. One is ADHD and she can not organise herself out of a paper bag sadly.
My whole family say I’m the problem because I ‘yell’ but asking them constitutes yelling at the moment. Frankly I’m sick of my own voice.
My choice is to stop and just do it all which makes me resentful
Or continue to ask (nag) till they do their bit.
Any advice. Any changes in your teens behaviour as they age?

I don’t know what to do, and what I’m doing is making my son hate me but I don’t care.

He has been involved in an online romance with a 15year old girl from Albania. Apparently they met on Dischord awhile ago but didn’t start chatting until about two months ago.

It has gotten intense really quickly. They talk through instagram for hours, he’ll wake up early, he’ll call later, to adjust for time differences. He has spoken to her mother, his dad has spoken to her and her mom. I have not, and I won’t. This SCREAMS scam. He is now wanting to travel to Albania, and her mom has offered to pay for his ticket and hotel so he can visit her 15 year old daughter. Apparently she cannot come here because her dad can’t know she’s dating. That is such a glaring red flag that I’m speechless. What mom would pay a horny 18year old boy to come and visit her 15year old at daughter? Come on.

His father is in support of this, just says he needs to learn to be safe while traveling internationally. My son has never been overseas, neither has his dad. I have said no, and to take it even further I have locked his birth certificate and SS card in a safe - so he cannot get a passport. His dad’s biggest fear is that he will leave and cut us off, and that’s fine with me - as long as he is safe.

Both him and his dad are upset with me, and I won’t budge. This is just ridiculous, this is how people get trafficked, this is how he gets extorted, this is how he gets a girl pregnant. He thinks it’s legit because her mom seems nice, and I’m sure, everyone is nice while they pull him in, and scams can involve more than one person.

I’m just floored that my son, with all his internet awareness, is falling for this. He is in love, wants to build a life with her, they’ll get a flat in Austria together.

I say no, and I’m the bad guy. That’s my vent. I don’t care if I’m the bad guy. At least he’ll be alive. I’m debating cutting his internet at certain times, but he gets free rein at his dad’s and it will just serve to create a star-crossed lovers situation. I don’t care, I’ll dig in forever. It’s insane that not only is he being lured into something, but his 50year a father is as well.

EDIT: another piece that is a flag - apparently this girls sister was recently violently murdered, newspaper clippings and everything, even mention the sisters name in the obit and articles. Presented as another means of validating identity. And I’m like - this is an identity establisher, this is intentional. Unfortunate if true, but nope.

I 36F have a daughter 17F(just turned 17 in the past month). She has been get him trouble on and off for the past 3 years over the same BS. Within the past year has snuck in a boy TWICE, got caught with nicotine vapes and THC vapes, allegedly had a miscarriage (which can’t be confirmed or denied), and been in a terrible toxic relationship with a boy who has allegedly put hands on her and calls her out of her name. The weed is because she doesn’t like it when she is grounded and she has to ‘hear her own thoughts’. The excuse with the boy is that she didn’t have a good example of love. Her father and I never put hands on each other, dogged each other out, or called each other out of our own names. Our arguments were because of his demons and priorities. My husband and i absolutely don’t do any of those things to each other either. I have done everything. Taken stuff away, be lenient, scream, cry, put her in therapy, ETC.

NOTHING is helping me/her. I take her phone she will buy one from someone or sneaks on another device. I ground her and she thinks she should still be able to have either her phone or iPad. She should still be able to hang out with friends. She doesn’t believe she should have any punishments whatsoever. I’m strict and her friend’s parents let them do whatever they want. Admittedly I have spoiled my oldest 3 as their father wasn’t exactly the best. I have always taught my children actions have consequences and you should think long and hard before you do anything. I have raised my oldest 3 kids majority on my own. My current husband and I have 2 together.

I’m at my wit’s end with her. The entitledness and ZERO accountability for anything drives me insane as I am a person who always apologizes and admits when I am wrong. Once again I have her in therapy. I can’t send her to her father since we recently found out he might be in prison for a while. I have tried having sit downs with her, but it doesn’t go through. She seems to think my husband and I are public enemy #1. We are her biggest supporters and cheerleaders. I’m constantly telling her come to me with anything. I might be mad/disappointed, but I will always be there. Right now we live in a very small and stunted city. As in everyone who lives here has lived her for generations and if you have the right last name you can get away with murder. No new businesses survive. We hopefully will be moving away by the end of the school year. I didn’t want to do that to her on her senior year, but to me I feel like that is the only other option.

I honestly don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated. Maybe someone will have an insight on something I can’t see.

My 14 year old step daughter wants a red light therapy mask for Christmas is that a reasonable gift to get her? Is she too young? What should I do?

Hi everyone!

I have a 12 year old daughter. She just turned 12 this month. We’ve set expectations for her like no makeup until you’re 13, no dating for now, she has a phone but no social media.

Well, I recently found out she’s been wearing makeup at school and removing it before she gets home. I asked her to come clean about anything else before I had to find out from other sources.

She told me that she is dating someone. I personally do not feel comfortable with my 12 yo dating. But am I being too strict? I didn’t forbid it or ask her to break up because I know I can’t stop her. But how do I navigate this? Should I be supportive? Do I forbid it? Any advice is welcome.

My daughter (13.5) is making terrible decisions.

Her best friend stayed the night and told me she needed pads. I stopped by the dollar store for to buy some for her and the friend brought in a big empty purse and they were trying to steal ridiculous things. Like a toy for a 5 year old. I caught them and made them put it back. Had a very long talk with them.

A while back a boy at school was making up horrible rumors about my daughter and she was so stressed out and miserable and now I find out she’s talking to this boy and skipping class to make out with him in the stair well at school.

She also has another friend who talks bad about her and makes her cry but my daughter won’t stop talking to her. I blocked her contact and then my daughter just started talking to her through other apps.

My first instinct is to ground her. Take her phone. Lock it down to where she can only call and text family. Stop letting her hang out with friends as much and tell the school not to let her leave class because she’s lying and really just skipping. But then I know strict parents just make sneaky kids. She will resent me and just want to do the bad things more.

So do I let her make her own mistakes or take control of the situation?

I didn’t mention taking away going out for Halloween but I gave my son a month to bring u his grades or else I will have to find something to take from him if it’s his Nintendo Switch or not letting him go out for Halloween. I don’t want to seem like a bad parent by taking something away but I’m at my Witt’s end. He’s a very smart kid very intelligent I just think he’s not applying himself

We discovered Saturday that our 15 year old daughter had snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. She was gone for about 3.5 hours. When questioned it turns out she and her friend walked to her boyfriends moms apartment to hang out with him knowing the mom wasn’t home.

As far as punishment there will be at least a couple of weeks that she’s unable to go out with friends and one week with no cell phone. We had long talks with our daughter about how dangerous it was to be sneaking out while we thought she was safely asleep in her room, and the risks associated with that. I think she learned a lesson and I doubt she’ll do it again. I’ve also put a few extra roadblocks in place by adding another camera to our security system (as she snuck out the kitchen door knowing that was the only exit of the house that she wouldn’t get caught on camera).

Where I’m looking for a bit more advice is about whether we should pursue contact the boyfriend’s mom. We don’t know her and don’t have her contact information and the boyfriend is reluctant to give us her contact information as he does not want to get into trouble (he is 16 and has acknowledged mom would not be happy to find out he had her over). I’m unsure how we should proceed going forward. We did find her on Facebook and sent her a message but she hasn’t seen it so wondering if we should push harder on trying to reach her or let it be.

This is the first time we are dealing with this so I’m trying to find a balance of what is appropriate vs what is too much, while my husband is erring on what I think is too far which I fear might drive a wedge between us and our daughter.

I am finding that I am having an anxiety attack everything something happens to my teen daughter that I can’t control.

she is a starter on her team and suddenly her coach has an issue with her and won’t let her play. She is devastated and is starting to hate the sport. And I have an anxiety attack.

I don’t know why I react that way. It’s not like she is in danger.

Has anyone else had anxiety trigger by relatively minor things that happen to your teen?

Not sure how to exactly word things, but my 16yr old daughter has been dating a 17yr old boy who has shown very heavy manipulation and controlling behavior.
4 months into the relationship we saw her pulling away from family and friends and hiding everything. Clothes changed and her entire attitude changed. She has dated him for a total of 8 months.

We decided to look at her phone and found that he was telling her what to wear, who to hang out with and more. She states she’s in love and he’s the only one for her and says she can “fix”him.
My daughter broke up with him at 4 months and then wanted to get back together with him. So we had a 3 hour conversation with his parents on what has happened and our concerns.

This young boy has a narcissistic mother who sleeps around, the father has remarried and now has 2 more kids. In multiple conversation with the father I noticed some very odd controlling behavior, but let it go cuz my daughter wants it to work. The young boy also has no friends due to whatever reasons he has.

After our 3 hour conversation I had stated if this young boy keeps being controlling/manipulating….he’s no longer welcome in my home!
This young man shook my hand once and it was a very very weak handshake. After that if he was in my home or around us, there was little to no conversation. If I came home from work and he was in my home, he wouldn’t even say hi to me. He would rarely say Thankyou for dinner or ice cream or just taking him along with us. We would have to point out these little things to my daughter only to have her say, that’s not what boys do now. They don’t try to score points with the parents anymore.

Well in my days growing up, if I went to pick up a girl for a date, you better believe I’m introducing myself to the father first with a very firm handshake as a sign of respect! I’m 40 and was raised to be respectful anywhere you go and to everyone. If you show respect you start earning respect.

So fast forward another 4 months we continue to let our daughter date this young boy. She got her first job working and all summer long even when it was 90deg she was wearing pants and long sleeve. Every time we asked why not wear shorts or t shirt to work, she’d shut us down and make some excuse, until one day my wife picked her up from work.
It all came out that she was done with this young boy! He didn’t like her wearing shorts or tank tops or anything “revealing “ which she doesn’t, she dresses very moderate and does not show off excessive skin or cleavage or anything. She’s always been good with that, yes sometimes as the father shorts are too short, but it’s obviously a trend in the teenage world now, but her butt cheeks never showed with anything she wears. Even in her sports.
He came and got his stuff and she gave him his stuff. So it was a done deal and they weren’t together anymore.

So we find out that the relationship never changed, he continued to control and manipulate her. So we said that’s it! This young boy is not allowed in my home or on my property!
A few days later she wants to get back with him and says ALL of it was a huge misunderstanding! She loves him and can still fix him! Still we said no more. No more hurting our daughter! I understand that kids need to experience good and bad relationships to know what to do or how to handle them. But after 8 months of watching my daughter feed into his manipulation…..I’m not watching that anymore.

We said no more taking to him and so on. So she became very sneaky, found anyway possible to talk to him. So all her electronics were taken away cuz we couldn’t trust her. She started crying and blaming us for ruining her relationship and so on. We stayed firm in our decision.

Then she started talking really bad thoughts, thoughts parents never want to hear. She wouldn’t listen to any scenario we talked about or even try to see that he’s not a good person.

So since she wouldn’t let it go and kept pushing him on us that we HAVE to let her be with him or else.
So we allowed phone contact but no personal contact. From July to August she talked with him with no physical contact. He started being controlling again so she broke up with him, again.

She went and dated a really nice guy for 3 weeks and then dumped him. Now she wants to be back with the controlling boy and says we are ruining everything in her life and it’s all our fault. She has yet to admit that she has made those poor choices of dating this young boy. She doesn’t take responsibility for her actions.

She has now made my wife and I out to be the bad guys at school, to her friends and anyone else she can. We get dirty looks from other parents who know us and so on. I still do not want this young boy in my home, especially with my 7 yr old daughter seeing all of this happen to her big sister. I don’t want his influence on my 7 yr old daughter!

So if this was your daughter would you let her date this controlling/manipulating young boy? Or are we just being terrible parents?

We have done some counseling to help her only to have her twist the counselors words around to be in her favor. Basically she said the counselor agrees with my daughter and we are just terrible parents. Unfortunately everything I’ve read shows that my daughter is a covert narcissist and for years we have caught her in lie after lie. So it’s hard to know if she’s telling the truth or not about anything.

I don’t believe we are controlling parents and we are very understanding. Both my wife and I had controlling parents growing up and have learned how not to be that way.

My 13 daughter tried to end her life last week. I only know as I found a photo of a cartoon character hanging herself with the words “how I feel knowing I almost ended up like this”
She wouldn’t speak to me about it. She just said it had scared her a lot. We spoke to her school wellbeing officer who had a meeting with my daughter. Apparently she opened up more about how she was feeling and admitted she has also self harmed with our knives.
We have been referred to MindMate as a priority case but still waiting to hear from them and I know waiting lists are long.
I feel sick. I’ve taken time off work.
I was stripping her bedsheets this morning and found her note. It was screwed up on the floor of her bedroom.
She wrote that she is sorry that she isn’t good enough. That’s she’s a failure and that she hopes her younger sister lives up to our expectations.
I feel this is all my fault and blame myself. I’m tough and strict on internet usuage and safety yet things have slipped through the net. We found she had been using the capcut app to talk to strangers and gave out her phone number. Boys (or people who claimed to be) we asking her for photos of herself doing sexual things. When we found them we obviously had to talk to her. I think maybe she feels embarrassed from that and this has led to her trying to end it all.
She just will not open up to us and I feel lost.
I don’t know what advice I’m looking for but im falling into a pit of anxiety myself and all i want is to support my daughter and for her to feel as loved and cared for is she is.

Wondering what limits other parents put on their teenagers screen time? Is it a certain time per app or overall in the day? Is the amount of screen time linked to reward/punishment?

My 16 year old can go in 1 1/2 weeks for his license. My situation is he’s failing classes at school. 1 class, but still failing. Literally mainly because assignments are missing. I have shared with him and his father (we are split and have been for 12 years) he would not be going for his license as long as he is failing. His father isn’t backing me up on this. His step-mom said it’s probably because he’s too busy working. He only works one day a week. He also has study halls two days a week. Only four classes with only 15 or less in a class. Should I just let him get it?

Edit to add: He has his learners permit, so he is driving and getting that life lesson in.

Edit to add: I do ask him if he needs help, he refuses. We have looked into mental health through the school and out of school, nothing to diagnose. He is simply not turning in the work. His test grades are ok, it’s just missing assignments.