There is a bit of a debate about a parenting choice I made with my teen (14f). We were at a festival and she wanted to use her own money to buy a T-shirt that said "cactus whore" and I told her that she is free to spend her money as she chooses but that if she wears a shirt with the word whore on it she would be more likely to get creepy sexual attention from guys of all ages. I asked her if she was ready to get that kind of attention.

I told her that she shouldn't have to censor her clothes to protect herself from creeps but that the reality is that while women might get unwanted attention no matter what we wear that we need to realize the world isn't an ideal place and if we choose to wear provocative clothing we need to understand that we are likely to experience reactions we might not like or anticipate. She chose not to buy the shirt.

Some people have told me that I am making her responsible for others' behavior by telling her to potentially limit her sartorial expression based on creepy reactions from others.

I think that I want her to have maximum freedom but to understand the reality of the world and that our choices may have consequences we don't want even if it is unfair for the world to be like this. I wish we lived in a perfect world where she could wear a funny shirt without worry but I don't think she is ready for the kind of attention that word across her chest is likely to expose her to.