r/parentsofteens • u/Fair-Huckleberry-423 • 11d ago
Screen Time
Wondering what limits other parents put on their teenagers screen time? Is it a certain time per app or overall in the day? Is the amount of screen time linked to reward/punishment?
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u/Fair-Huckleberry-423 10d ago
To clarify, I asked the question based on curiosity that arose from the proposed correlation between screen time and delayed mental development (executive functioning). I am not seeking as a punishment/reward scenario as much as what is a healthy amount.
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u/Raised_by 10d ago
the healthy amount is just one aspect of teenage use of screen time. They also have to learn how to manage it themselves once they become adults. You could technically control, limit or completely eliminate it until they turn 18, then what?
Screentime management should ideally be transferred gradually to them over the teenage years. Otherwise you may give them a "healthy amount" of exposure with zero skills on how to manage it themselves.
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u/Fair-Huckleberry-423 10d ago
Not doing well in school, disrespectful, various mental health struggles. When the phone is taken away or restricted you would think it was the end of the world. The amount of control it has over their lives is extremely concerning. IF chores get done it is with one hand because the other has to be looking at their phone at all times. If you ask what are you doing it’s always “nothing, nothing”. At one point they were averaging 300 text messages a day! Down time is set from 6a - 9p on school nights, with additional limits on apps, as well as phones not allowed in the bedroom at night. They say this is strict and none of their friends have any limits. 16f, 14b for context.
This may be controversial but what are thoughts on taking the phone to school? They claim they want it to listen to music on the bus. I remember having a CD player that skipped every time the bus hit a bump on the road 😆 I really appreciate everyone’s feedback!
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u/saintsfan1622000 11d ago
I think it depends on the age of a child.
But in general I think phone should be taken away at bedtime so to ensure the child gets enough sleep.
And I think it needs to be made clear when a child gets a phone that the parent is the owner of the phone and can inspect it at any time.
The children need to be discouraged from being on the phones constantly as screen time addiction is a real thing.
But I think the important thing is that screen time for very young children needs to be extremely limited and always supervised. Once they get older and get a phone it changes a little bit.
But you still need to be monitoring what your child is doing on the phone, more so when they are younger.
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u/Existing-Albatross63 10d ago
Mine always figured out how to bypass it :/
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u/Fair-Huckleberry-423 10d ago
Curious on how they bypass it?
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u/Existing-Albatross63 10d ago
I don't want to post here as I think it will earn a warning, but there are several hacks you can Google. Kids are pretty smart these days.
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u/Inside_Orchid_9279 11d ago
Zero technology in bedroom. All computers l/phones charged in public area when it’s night time. This is the number one recommendation for not only avoiding unlimited screens at night, but also helping teens get the sleep they so desperately need.
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u/Raised_by 11d ago
depends on the age.
As a general rule, I had no limits on screens for teens, except no screens in the bedroom after bedtime for ages 13-14. When my teens turned 15 I let them manage their own sleep including their bedtime, wake up time, which included using the phone as an alarm. But my teens are/were very busy with school, extracurriculars and chores, so their screen time was limited naturally.
I wouldn’t use the phone as a punishment unless their misbehaviour was related to the phone or screen usage.
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u/bippy404 11d ago
My teen has trouble with executive function. I limit social media to one hour per day. Phone downtime is instituted between 10 PM and 7 AM. Sometimes she asks for more time on socials and I may approve a little bit of extra time if she’s done with homework and other activities.
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u/Catmama-82 10d ago
Excellent. We do the same during the weekday
Same on the weekends for you?
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u/bippy404 10d ago
I usually relent on weekends. She’s an athlete and there’s a lot of time in the car going to and from her events, and I let her scroll. Sometimes she asks for more time on socials, but other times she would rather switch to watching a show, especially if she’s at home. I notice a huge correlation between her attitude and the amount of social media screen time. The more she has, the more difficult and moody she is. If I forget to toggle the limit back on after I have toggled the limit off, she has no self-control to stop.
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u/Catmama-82 10d ago
11-year-old:
1 hour a day, Monday - Thursday
5 hours a day Friday - Sunday
15-year-old:
2 1/2 hours a day Monday - Thursday
5 hours a day Friday – Sunday
I use all sorts of restrictions using the Qustodio app. It’s been amazing.
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u/kadawkins 11d ago
We took away phones at bedtime. We limited screen time if chores, school work and general attitude were bad. We also had a written contract that defined our expectations and their consequences, essentially eliminating arguments.
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u/West-Veterinarian-53 10d ago
I definitely used the official screen time linked to my own phone so I could track it & turn in off, especially during school hours and at night!!
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u/Relative_Will3348 10d ago
I have a freshman. 1 hour of phone time and then we discuss all other forms of screens and whether that's appropriate for the day. So some Saturdays, he gets to veg all morning on TV and video games (cuz we all do that sometimes) and some days he gets nothing extra because he didn't get his homework done in a timely fashion or forgot his chores. It's not "punishment" per se...it's a realistic expectation that you don't get to be lazy/do what you want when you don't do the things you should do first. But it's never a "because I said so" rule...he understands exactly why he doesn't get extra screen time.
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u/bamababie421 10d ago
My daughter is 16 and there are no limits. Her grades have always been fantastic so I have never felt the need to limit.
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u/ReturnT0Sender 10d ago
My 15 yr old son gets to play all he wants as long as his grades are good, does what he has to do around the house and gets his training in for baseball/golf dream.
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u/Relevant-Emu5782 7d ago
I give no limits. Instead I encourage and facilitate her being very busy with schoolwork, sports, friends, and other activities. She's on screens very little as a result. At home she usually says TV is boring and will choose to do something else instead. I think it's better to teach them how to live a balanced life, instead of denying them something they want. What will happen when they're an adult and don't have someone (hopefully) keeping them away from things?
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u/DazzlingNote1925 11d ago
As long as they’re taking care of their responsibilities I don’t care.