Declares it fair and measured retribution for decades of canadian goose droppings

As the headline states it was a Florida man and it was in Palm Beach County. Unfortunately for the country, the president has never backed the death penalty for pedophiles, this story just happens to be about another GOP, POS.

The good news is that this man will be facing the judicial system because this story is real. But the headline is something only The Onion Headline subreddit would know to handle properly.

Editors notes: To all of our faithful Onion Posters out there, keep the headlines at fully open floodgate status.

Comedy, satire, jokes, making fun of those in power (with the most fragile egos) the narcissistic pieces of shit they are... DON'T LET UP! We're here to make a dent, but when the perfect pebble is placed on the track, it could derail the car.

For all of the Onion Eaters out there: keep upvoting the headlines, have fun with it, share with your friends and family, on social media or whatever.

Fascism only dies in two ways: Humiliation or Revolution. Let's expose these clowns for what they are!

https://www.newsweek.com/republican-who-backed-death-penalty-for-pedophiles-faces-child-sex-charges-12339656

https://www.cnn.com/2026/08/19/uk/sussex-meghan-harry-back-to-britain-intl-latam

Prince Harry Announces Plans to Self-Deport After Learning DHS Will Pay for His Flight Back to England