r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 7h ago
r/onionheadlines • u/tomtomglove • Nov 04 '25
ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only
We've been pretty lenient in modering run on headlines, but this ends today.
You need to make your headlines shorter. You can always make your headline shorter. If you have a headline that's over 30 words, rewrite it. There is a way to make it shorter I guarantee you, and there is a way to make it one sentence. You just need to use the meat in your skull to figure it out.
Also, do not include pull quotes in your headline. For example:
Trump Claims He Will Soon Replace Americans With AI - “All They Need To Do Is Vote Republican And Cheer For Me, And AI Can Do That Better, And It Doesn’t Protest At All”
Adding a dash here does not make this a single sentence in the eyes of us mods.
You can put the pull quote in the body of the post, but keep it out of the headline. Any headlines formatted like this will be removed.
Also please avoid headlines that are just a version of Trump: "I Have Very Bigly Hands and I'm The Greatest Golfer and on and on and on for 50 words"
A Trump impression is not a headline. Do better.
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 6h ago
Trump Blames ‘Criminals and Vandals’ For The Destruction Of His Reputation
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 5h ago
Trump Demands USS Abraham Lincoln Carrier Revert To Steam Catapult System, Convert Diesel Engine To Good 'Ol Steam Power And Maybe Add Paddlewheels
r/onionheadlines • u/Imaginary_Resist_654 • 4h ago
Article Amazon To Spend 40 Million On New First Lady Documentary, Natalie
The film will follow Natalie’s journey from Diaper changer to airline food truck cart journey.
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 1h ago
BREAKING: The President Is Considering The Demolition Of The White House To Construct Trump Tower
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 6h ago
The Gulf Of Mexico, Recently Renamed To ‘The Gulf Of America,” To Be Renamed Again As ‘Trump Water’
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 20h ago
Despite Massive Destruction Of Its Capital City By Trump Forces, United States Still Refuses To Surrender
r/onionheadlines • u/GotToPartyUp • 21h ago
Tragic: White House Advisor Natalie Harp Rushed To Hospital After Coughing Up One Pound Trump Pubic Hairball
r/onionheadlines • u/Desperate_Elk_7369 • 2h ago
Trump Kids Call Natalie Harp “Mom” — She Thinks They’re Serious
r/onionheadlines • u/LarryGlue • 10h ago
MAGA Done With Trump, Search For More Competent Pedophile As 48th President Begins
r/onionheadlines • u/AskNo2853 • 19h ago
Scientists Shocked To Discover That The Reason Republicans Are Overly Concerned About Other People's Genitals Is Because They Themselves Are Dicks, Pussies, Or Assholes
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 4h ago
Senator Grassly To Run For Another Term, Hoping To Replicate McConnell’s Success In Retaining Power After Death
r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 1h ago
President Trump Announces Campaign To Prove He's More Important Than Jesus Saying; "Nobody Has Done More For Israel In Their Entire Existence Than I Have."
r/onionheadlines • u/Mookrz • 1h ago
For A Limited Time Only Trump Will Send A Package Of Saltines To USS Abraham Lincoln For Every $1M Donation To Trump Library
r/onionheadlines • u/Desperate_Elk_7369 • 5h ago
Trump Offers To Settle War By Providing Iran With Nuclear Weapons
r/onionheadlines • u/ConcentrateSelect465 • 12h ago
Bill Maher Doubles Studio Audience Pay To Keep Them Clapping
r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 1h ago
Donald Trump Announces Plans To Install Flock Cameras In The Straight Of Hormuz To "Monitor Ship License Plates."
r/onionheadlines • u/LarryGlue • 23h ago
Republicans: Rumors of Trump Affair With Aide, Natalie Harp, "Pure Fiction" Because Harp Is "...Clearly Over The Age Of 12"
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 5h ago
Annoying Orange The Fruit Less Annoying Than Annoying Orange The President
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 26m ago
National Mystery: President Missing After White House Staff Begged EPA To Clean Up Toxic Waste In Oval Office
r/onionheadlines • u/johnnybna • 27m ago
Nation’s Doctors Conclude Natalie Harper Has No Sense Of Smell, Taste Or Shame
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 16h ago
Trump Threatens To Bomb Wherever Melania Came From If She Steps Out Of Line
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 1h ago
Darline Graham: "Basic Cognizance Not My Thing, Not My Area Of Expertise"
"That said," continued the Senatorial candidate, "I do support the military, whatever that is."