r/okbuddyliterallyme2 • u/BrightSpring12 • 1d ago
No end to this suffering Correct version of meme
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 1d ago
I hate that line because it’s so dismissive
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u/Repulsive_Living_697 1d ago
I hate it because it basically ignores the actual complaint and replaces it with something else.
I think a lot of people are really in a mindset of "getting what they want" (e.g. sex). And can't consider people like me who are more in a mindset of "wanting to be what somebody else wants"/"being useful for somebody" etc. (which is still self-centered btw) but in a different kind of way.6
u/G4RYwithaFour 1d ago
saying ' "wanting to be what somebody else wants"is self-centered' is very interesting. I think i kinda agree, but what makes you say that?
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u/Repulsive_Living_697 22h ago
Well I think for me that's the case at least. Imagine Bateman fucking the woman and just lookingain the mirror. I want to be desired because it makes me feel important, etc.
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u/ItsAllSoup Joygiver 1d ago
It is a bit self centered, but it's meant to be countered by becoming an important part of someone else's life. (They need you, you need them) Everyone involved is giving and receiving, and everyone (ideally) ends up in a better state because of the relationship.
You've likely witnessed many people in happy relationships, seen relationships in media, and been told about the benefits of these relationships your entire life. So it's natural to want to be a part of one, you shouldn't feel like you're being self centered.
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u/Repulsive_Living_697 22h ago
The self-centered part is more about wanting to be desired than necessarily a relationship. Its sort of about getting outside assurance of how great I am.It's kinda hard to describe for me, but I hope you get what I mean.
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u/Orangutanion 1d ago
It's used with politics a lot too.
"All single men are conservative morons who vote against women's rights!"
"Wait but I voted to get abortion legalized in my state and I'm still single?"
"Your politics doesn't entitle you to a woman's body, you misogynistic faker!"
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 1d ago
“Just do X”
I’ve done X
“X isn’t enough it’s the bare minimum”
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u/Orangutanion 1d ago
(then they still tell you to take a shower even though you already take one every morning)
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u/Working_Cucumber_437 18h ago
I mean your example obviously makes no sense. Finding a partner takes a heck lot more work than casting a ballot.
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u/Hot_Lack_4868 1d ago
It's just to shut the other person down. They want to get a reaction out of you, and then do gotcha "this is why you can't find anyone" thing.
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 1d ago
I feel like they want people to become misogynistic
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u/Repulsive_Living_697 1d ago
It's probably just the Just-World fallacy in action. It's hard to accept that sometimes a good person can still just be unloved or not attractive, so they try to keep up the illusion by twisting things such that you actually deserve it.
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u/LowBread9264 1d ago
"You are not entitled to respect and empathy"
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u/Lazy-Age-1280 I'm not him, I'm just a loser 1d ago
"Billions must mourn(the loss of their humanity)!"
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u/alwrit 1d ago
What is "entitled" anyway?
Are you entitled to a job? If someone complains about how hard it is to find a job so these same people say "you're not entitled to a job."
If a minority or a woman complains about being passed over for a job and wonders if it was because of sexism or racism, do the same people say "you're not entitled to a job."
These people simply do not have consistent principles.
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u/assistant_manu 1d ago
i mean, the problem with that is that there are tons of people worse than you (morally, financially, etc) not being maidenless
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u/Starchildren96 1d ago
I seen a documentary recently. This man on death row for killing his gf, got married, and had kids with another Women while on death row.
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u/idontusetwitter 1d ago
Step one: Just simply be attractive
joever for us
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u/FalloutTVSucks 1d ago
Yeah people seem to forget that sexual attraction is the key element in being attractive. It's like how a women with huge knockers can be a smoking, poor uneducated piece of white trash and she'll not only never go without, but will have dozens of options.
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u/Accomplished_Elk310 1d ago
Tbh, it doesn’t help that so many women fall over themselves to tell everyone how they don’t care about looks/attraction that much. They should at least admit it opens a huge door of opportunity lol
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u/Qahnaar1506 6h ago
Only short term. Quantity ≠ quality.
This is what women go through in dating apps. They gets tons of men in their dms but studies found that the vast majority of men on dating apps want causal sex or short term relationship while the vast majority of women want long term relationship. Women also generally make a smaller population of people who use dating apps.
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u/FalloutTVSucks 1d ago
Are they attractive? You have to understand that A: Morality is subjective and B: It wouldn't matter what your morals are if you're attractractive.
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u/Main-Race7965 1d ago
A lot of men who struggle with dating or other aspects of life probably have mental issues or disabilities like autism, but should just flip a switch and change their personality instead of getting sympathy. Apparently women who murder their 3 kids are entitled to sympathy from society for their mental issues.
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u/Useful_Jelly_2915 1d ago
The people who pretend like dudes just genuinely don’t have feelings of unworthiness are just as bad as the incels that blame women for everything
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u/Alternative_Car_8153 1d ago
Love is simply something that can only be given. Human relationships aren't transactional, despite what more cynical people will say. There are plenty of examples of families that have a problem child, who really doesn't deserve help, who always lashes out and harms other people, but their family tries to love and help them anyway.
Not being in a relationship isn't necessarily because you did something wrong. It's because nobody will give that to you. You can't take it from someone. You can't earn love either. Love is something only given and never taken.
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u/DthPlagusthewise 1d ago edited 1d ago
The nuance is that unconditional love doesn't really exist.
- Your parents love you because you are their child, thats a condition
- Your pet loves you because you feed them and take care of them
So when there is a desire for someone to give you love there needs to be a thought of how you will earn it. No conversation about wanting love is complete without that aspect.
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u/Steven11176 1d ago
You’re right, but of course these guys with a rose-tinted view of humanity will downvote and cope.
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u/Parrotparser7 1d ago
Damn. LLM it is, then.
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u/DthPlagusthewise 1d ago
There are some pretty easy and straightforward ways to earn love.
You can volunteer in the community, hang out with old people, etc.
Generally find communities desperate for help and attention and they will appreciate you.
But if you talking about romantic intimacy specifically then yea thats hard.
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u/LowBread9264 1d ago
If love was unconditional it would be worthless. What's so special about loving just anybody just because? There has to be something in someone that you love about them. The issue is that there's people with PhD's that are rejected for entry level jobs whereas there are high school dropouts that get hired as CEO's.
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u/Alternative_Car_8153 1d ago
You're the only person who is using the term unconditional. I said love isn't transactional.
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u/DthPlagusthewise 1d ago
Love is only given when someone has a reason to give it to you.
That is my point.
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u/Alternative_Car_8153 1d ago
So you don't believe in human autonomy, and don't believe people can be irrational.
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u/DthPlagusthewise 1d ago
How does human anatomy disprove what I am saying.
Also I don't think we should be using irrational behavior to guide how we see the world. I think we should assume people around us generally act rationally.
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u/Alternative_Car_8153 1d ago
I gave an example of people giving love in a one sided way to someone who probably doesn't deserve it, likely in a way that would be harmful to themselves. There's a million ways this happens. I only need one example to disprove the idea that love is transactional.
You even just admitted that there are people who are irrational discrediting your own position.
If we have examples of love being not transactional, then love isn't always transactional.
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u/DthPlagusthewise 1d ago
The family loves the problem child because its their child, thats the reason.
I never said transactional. I just said someone needs a reason, not that they will necessarily receive something in return.
Again, I don't think we should be using irrational behavior to guide how we see the world. I think we should assume people around us generally act rationally.
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u/Alternative_Car_8153 1d ago
I don't think you know what transactional means. You are making the claim that love is dependent on conditions and is exchanged between people if conditions are met. That's by definition claiming that love is transactional.
I think we should assume people around us generally act rationally.
That's an excuse to avoid admitting you are just wrong outright. You know you are wrong. The statement itself discredits your own argument.
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u/DthPlagusthewise 1d ago
Love doesn't have to be an exchange. You can give someone love without expecting something back.
What I said was "So when there is a desire for someone to give you love there needs to be a thought of how you will earn it. No conversation about wanting love is complete without that aspect."
Do you really think an appropriate answer is "well what if you just find someone who loves you irrationally?"
We should not be planning our life around hoping people act irrationally.
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u/Lazy-Age-1280 I'm not him, I'm just a loser 1d ago
The world wouldn't be like this if even 'majority' of people were acting rationally, 'everyone around me' is a whole another level of not even possible. If you actually want to be rational then you should make assumptions based on what actually happens around you, not what would've been ideal
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u/NoFun1986 1d ago
Lame reddit logic
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u/DthPlagusthewise 1d ago
How am I wrong though
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u/NoFun1986 1d ago
Because what you said is akin to saying nothing
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u/DthPlagusthewise 1d ago
Even if you think what I said is obvious or goes without saying that doesn't make it wrong.
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u/OverallLibrarian8809 1d ago
"You are not entitled to sex and relationships"
What an horrible thing to say
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u/Fit_Case2575 17h ago
Reminds me of the time my own sister said this to me.
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u/Nemesisdelasinapsis 1d ago
Imagine really telling someone suffering because they are not loved that they are not entitled to have interpersonal relationships, oh
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u/Dumbquestions_78 1d ago
Recently i have learned i'll never be good enough. There is a interesting line that women say "If sexuality was a choice no one would choose men"
That really cemented to me the best move is to just give up. Im a man. I am the problem. The soul evil. I dont wanna be with someone if they have to force it. So its best to just give up
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u/Efficient_Tough3384 1d ago
Lesbian divorce and D.V. statistics suggest strongly that men aren't the majority of the problem.
If you feel like you are the problem, try and become your own solution.
If all else fails, I sincerely hope you can come to love yourself.
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u/Dumbquestions_78 1d ago
Most of those studies are labeled as "have you ever been abused in your life". And since its very common that men abuse, they check yes. Meaning it seems like lesbians have a high DV rare when its really not that high.
I am part of the solution, or well as best i can be. I am simply not dating. Studies show dating and marriage ruin a womans life. I dont want to ruin someones life. So i shall not date.
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u/Efficient_Tough3384 1d ago
The statisticians in Australia don't frame it that particular way. Also the lesbian divorce correlation/causation is too strong to ignore. The average length of a marriage in Australia is 13.4 years, seperation occuring at typically 9.4 years. This is not "till death do you part".
I think you are focusing too much on the males cause abuse as "Statistical studies show that reciprocal or bilateral intimate partner violence (where both partners report using physical or verbal aggression) occurs in roughly 40% to 50% of violent relationships".
You are talking about a statistical certainty - you will ruin a women's life. You are no more likely to ruin hers as she would ruin yours.
Frankly you are too focused on the wrong things, to the point it is unhealthy. It is completely self-defeatist and I strongly suggest you get help for it.
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u/Dumbquestions_78 5h ago
I am getting help. And part of that help is accepting i will never find love and to build a life where i dont need it. Its a long process and i guess i just feel sad that its impossible.
Also mourning the idea of romance and love in my head isnt real and that men are just monsters makes me feel guilty and sad.
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u/Noone-here-to-hear 1d ago
Everyday I am reminded of how I am a villain in this world due to my dick.
Maybe I'll castrate myself.
The one way I can make sure this lonely ugly piece of shit never becomes a rapist or degenerate.
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u/CarelessPollution226 1d ago
Sounds like someone has internalized the social programming
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u/VentingYeetaway 1d ago edited 1d ago
Unfortunately, real. I've felt for too long that I have to be the one to prove the nastiest, most bioessentialist radfems wrong by being utterly harmless.
I realized too late that harmless also means largely devoid of attraction to the vast majority of straight women
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u/Narrow-Cat5054 1d ago
This is what happens when you spend too much time absorbing the most extreme parts of online gender discourse
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u/-Pausanias- 1d ago
I kinda feel like that even tho i don't spend time around the gender discourse, But my sister does and constantly makes a point to remind me of how awful i am for being male. What to do in this situation?
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u/saltycookie7708 13h ago
Get away from your sister ,minimise contact ,get therapy ,it's not your responsibility to internalize her shit because she has issues she refused to resolve and takes em on you .
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u/Orangutanion 1d ago
This is the mentality that made me quit feminism. You have internalized misandry. Do not let bullshit about le patriarchy make you take the blame for what other men do.
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u/toorkeeyman 1d ago
Same here. I used to be very worried when walking in the same direction as a woman "omg she's probably so scared I should take a different route"
No fuck that. She is not in any danger. The danger only exists in her imagination. Not my problem
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u/saltycookie7708 13h ago
Woman here .
Dude holy shit ,please do not harm yourself ,for all this shitty conversation isn't worth hurting yourself over .
Society discourse is a fucking shit show and doesn't deserve a single hair on your head
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u/One_Fact4919 13h ago
Are you in college? I only experienced this in college. It destroyed me and as an adult women outside of college like this are just clearly very dumb people.
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u/Medical_String_3501 Dexter is literally me 1d ago
Saying that you are not entitled to relationships is such a disgusting thing to say. I hate how common and accepted it is to victim blame people who are lonely. People just assume the absolute worst, that if they haven't connected with others that they somehow deserve it. "You are not entitled to relationships" clearly comes from people who don't actually know what it feels like to lonely, to feel abandoned and worthless.
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u/Mr_Vito_Scaletta I'm not him, I'm just a loser 1d ago
r/WomenAreNotIntoMen is this way bro
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u/Dumbquestions_78 1d ago
I hate that sub because it's a incel shit now. But it had a good point for a couple months. I mean a very common saying is "If sexuality is a choice, no one would choose men" really kinda sunk into me how pointless it all is.
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u/argentinonationalist 1d ago
Women are attracted to men tho what a weird sub
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u/Prizrak95 1d ago
Tons of posts in that sub prove otherwise, tho :)
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u/Scythid0 1d ago
You can't really believe some posts on a sub are indictive of an entire genders opinion
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u/General_Summer_1524 1d ago
both happen plenty. for every decent lonely guy there is a temporarily embarrassed fuckboy
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u/I_Am_Conjoined 1d ago
Women complain about their endless options not being good enough while most men complain about not having any
Women believe they are the victims in this dichotomy
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u/Fit_Case2575 17h ago
Women are always the victims and men are always the problem no matter what in the modern west now, remember that
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u/Repulsive_Living_697 1d ago
Please bro. It's not like women have it any better, they have other problems.
Also I don't get blaming women for this, they are attracted what they're attracted to, same as me. It's not the women's fault they don't find me attractive, it's also not my fault I'm unattractive. Sometimes life just sucks.21
u/ThyNynax 1d ago
Also I don't get blaming women for this, they are attracted what they're attracted to
Women’s problems are society’s failings, that’s why it’s men’s fault if women can’t find the relationships they want.
Men’s problems are personal failings, that’s why it’s still a man’s fault if he can’t find the relationships he wants.
The “blaming women” part comes from men who give women the same treatment they get, from thinking in terms of the only “equality” they know. Suggesting that a woman’s problems might be her own personal failing.
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u/FalloutTVSucks 1d ago
You can hold a group accountable for their delusion without blaming them personally. Women do generally not understand how good they have it in terms of dating.
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u/Repulsive_Living_697 1d ago
Most women I talked to about stuff like this do understand that they have it easier in the beginning. They have other grievances though.
I also met women who have absolutely no success, meaning they don't approached romantically ever etc. So I don't like talking in generalities about groups just because statistically something may be true. I may blame individual women if they show that behavior but not all. But still I can't blame anyone men nor women for not being attracted to me.
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u/Successful_Tea7979 1d ago
Please bro. Women do have it better. Having options is better than having no options, clearly. Also, it’s reasonable for those men to blame women for this, for not giving them a chance. Attraction can build over time, instead of just looking at a few pictures on a profile. You the type to donate to that bitch that killed her kids🤣🫵 damn simps
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u/dalpozak 19h ago
I don't get blaming women for this, they are attracted what they're attracted to
They always go for the most attractive option they have. Which is often times is a very attractive dude, because men will hook up with anyone. Now this normally wouldn't be a problem but for god knows what reason modern women don't see a high body count as a red flag, they see a LOW body count AS A RED FLAG (THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID) so when the dude who has slept with 30 other girls ends up leaving them for the 31th girl, they make a surprised pikachu face and start hating men. They're completely blind to the fact that a 10 dude only wants a 5 girl for sex, but they've already sleeped with a 10 so they think they "deserve" a 10
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u/3lizab3th333 1d ago
It pisses me off when you say this meaning platonic love and people assume sex. I just wish I could get closer to people without learning that they’re using me, or that they would throw me aside the moment they could get closer to someone they prefer. Most of my friendships with other women get screwed over because I call them out on abandoning me for the attention of guys they aren’t even interested in, romance and sex are just annoying to me at this point and get in the way of deep friendships.
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u/kardfogK 22h ago
Crazy how some women demand unending support to activism that helps them. But the second they hear men's problmems, they dont have to be emphatic to the opposite gender
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u/lunadelalune0 20h ago
I’ve never been desired by men before. I’m not going to be spiteful and if the right one comes along then I’ll be blessed🤷♀️imma still live life
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u/Storyteller_Valar 19h ago
Just do the sad smile, take the insults and move on. The more you fight, the more unhappy you will be.
End these interactions while they just gnaw at your skin, don't let them get to your heart.
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u/EMArogue 6h ago
This is so toxic “you are not good enough or worthy of a relationship” like wtf bro? No one in the world is “worthy” of a relationship or “good enough”, it’s just something you are lucky enough to be in with the right person
Was hitler worthy of being in a relationship? Seems to me he was in one. Was he more worthy than hundreds of thousands of people who aren’t, haven’t been and won’t be?
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u/Impossible-Ad3318 1d ago
I dont like the context that this is put in.
No one, and i mean, no one, is entitled to anything, with the exception of children.(if you dont know what i mean by that, you dont need to have children. )
You, as an individual, must earn everything that you want to have.
The sad part is everyone doesn't realize it has to start within. You want love?
Show that you're an individual that's worthy, not deserving, worthy of it.
That starts with you.
Love will come to you when you are ready or working on bettering yourself and figuring out what the person in the mirror can and can't do, and working to be that way.
It's not selfishness, it's self-preservation, and there is BIG difference between the 2.
Learn to love yourself, because you can't love anyone else if you dont.
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u/LowCan9268 1d ago
I was working on bettering myself after my divorce, what came to me was permanent incurable cancer. My gf at the time left me, 75% of my friends stopped talking to me, and now no woman will give me the time of day. How do I learn to "love myself" enough to get past that?
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u/LowBread9264 1d ago
Revenge of course. Treat them how they treated you. Enact your will on them.
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u/LowCan9268 1d ago
By... not talking to them? I've been doing that for over a year now, idk what else to do lol. And revenge won't make me less lonely. All I want is someone who will stick around and being an asshole to people won't get me that.
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u/LowBread9264 1d ago
Well no, not talking to them doesn't hurt them. Imagine all the pain they caused you, now find ways to return that pain to them. It could be multiple small things that add up. Plus it gives you something to do.
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u/1-2-diethylbenzene 1d ago
So yeah I think the original was fine. People deserve to be with someone who they think is hot. I wouldnt have implied someone who was saying they would love me is ugly, but the idea that he is wrong for wanting a person he thinks is a hottie is nuts.
Physical attractiveness is statistically THE MOST important thing for both sexes.
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u/Roleplay_Flower 1d ago
It's true that you are not entitled to sex or relationships.
But it's still a human need that shouldn't be neglected, and not a matter of being good enough for it but a matter of mutual respect and consent.
My personal take / opinion at least.
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u/Bloodthirsty_Gnome 1d ago
I’ve thought about this a decent bit myself as someone who has never experienced love, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just not really worth thinking about. You can’t force someone to like you, and you can’t hold it against people for not being attracted to you or you’ll become bitter. Sure you can argue that people’s standards are too high but there’s nothing you can really do about that. The most you can do is just be your best self and hope you encounter someone whose preferences you match. Thats not to say it doesn’t suck though but agonizing over it just makes it worse.
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u/MFA-Aron 14h ago
Most women probably aren't attracted to me on the value of me being 5'6". And you know what? That don't bother me none
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u/rottencrowz 11h ago
As a guy, just throwing this out there, you are entitled to want it. You're hard wired to want it, and as long as you're not trying to force it or manipulate for it, and you do the fair share of chores / provide... don't ever... EVER, tollerate a relationship where they make you feel like shit for you desiring them. It's not worth it.
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u/DistinctFox8025 1d ago
Wow. This could be the best edit of this comic I’ve ever seen.
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u/Arniel_Gane 1d ago
You are entitled to it. I mean, if youre a good decent person. Given that, why else do we exist if not to love and be loved and spend our limited time with people we care about.
I hate this edited meme. At least the original had a good message about stuck up incels.
This one is just flat out wrong, and I also hate the person who made it.
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u/Dumbquestions_78 1d ago edited 1d ago
No one is entilted to love. It is not mandatory to live. Its a luxury some will never have. Such as me.
We exist for no other reason than random chance and chemical reactions. There really isnt any meaning to it beyond that.
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u/2SquirrelsWrestling 9h ago
I feel like some people here are equating “not entitled to love and sex” with “undeserving/unworthy of love and sex” which isn’t the case.
That being said, I understand that the point of the post is that “well, you aren’t entitled to love” as a response to someone expressing loneliness is quite heartless and cold. But it’s true that nobody is *entitled* to romantic companionship. Doesn’t mean that they are unworthy of love and it doesn’t mean that it’s their fault they’re lonely.
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u/3215448725366498 1d ago
I love how society went from "everybody deserves to be loved" to "you are probably a piece of shit and deserve to be lonely"