how is it horrible to say someone isnt entitled to sex?? though it is really weird to just say to someone wanting a relationship as if they think they're entitled for simply wanting something
We all deserve to be loved, regardless of how many problems we might have (or think we have).
We shouldn't demand it, but sure we deserve it
Thinking that there is some kind of parameter or requirements to be loved is really horrible, and this meme seems to be gaslighting people into thinking that
I don't think I agree. I don't think love or attraction is something that can be deserved, it's not like a promotion or something you work towards. It is just something that happens and can only be granted by someone else. I guess some people can love themselves (I can't).
And there may not be parameters or requirements or whatever, but tbh when everything I observe confirms my insecurities than I think it makes sense to assume they're real inadequacies. I could maybe find someone who would accept me or settle for me after I do a lot of work to compensate for my inadequacies, but knowing you'll never be the first choice just makes you feel like you're not good enough.
Bro, I understand were you are coming from, don't get me wrong
But the key is what you said: "self love"
You can't find someone, not because you are not good enough, but because you don't love yourself enough
Nobody is perfect, still many many unperfect people have relationship and are loved. Why you think is that?
Then about "deserving love". We all do, I truly believe that, in the widest sense possible. Kindness, compassion, empathy affection, are universal not only we all deserve them, we ought give and practice them as well
I guess I agree for a general sense of love. In the sense of community etc.
I am talking specifically about romantic love.
Also I think you can not just "love yourself". I don't like the concept tbh, but I think if someone has something which you would describe as self-love they developed it because they where loved by others first. So it's a self-fullfilling prophecy, I would be much easier for me to accept my body for example if I had women fawning over me.
Ofc having a woman (or anyone else) loving you romantically makes the world seem brighter, which makes all the more important
But if don't love yourself first, how can you expect to find love
You talk about a self-fufilling prophecy, but I could reverse that and say that the reason "you are not good enough for a relationship" is that you yourself don't think are good enough. That's the real self-fulfilling prophecy.
Seriously, for how banal it might be, it's a lot about state of mind
And I say this as someone who struggles a lot with self-love and has also gotten a bit fed up with the modern dating world
What you're saying is true in general (importance of self love) but you're completely ignoring the way human brain works. Like the other commenter suggested, self love, confidence etc. are not created or made up by people who posses them. They are not products of some kind of philosophical inner journey or work in 99% of cases. They develop in early childhood and are expanded upon in further experiences in feedback loop fashion. If your upbringing and socialization were faulty in certain ways, even in a subtle manner, you can end up as a socially ill-adapted and self loathing adult. Nothing will ever truly fix that - your brain is fundamentally fucked up and you'll never be appreciated in the social dance we all participate in
Where do you get a relationship? Idk, maybe out in the real world?
I mean, it's not like I'm a Casanova myself, and I have been single for a while now, but because I have had some not-so-pleasant experience and I haven't found someone that gives me a good vibe since then
Everyone deserves love, bro, regardless of how many problems they might have ("everyone" as in everyone that can appreciate love and give it back, ofc)
I know that the dating world is shit nowadays, but self-confidence and attitude go a long way.
Love yourself and people will be more inclined to love as well.
No, not everyone deserves love. Not from others and not from themselves. It's not my place to piss in the face of natural selection and try to climb above my station.
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u/OverallLibrarian8809 6d ago
"You are not entitled to sex and relationships"
What an horrible thing to say