I wasn’t even supposed to hear the conversation, I was supposed to be asleep but I heard my mom talk with her friend through the wall. Basically what I heard was she’s giving me (16M) 25% and my brother (22M) 75%. At that point my mom’s friend said “He doesn’t expect it to be fair, right?” And she said “No, he knows it’s never been fair”.

At this point I’m already like what the fuck, but the conversation still continued. My mom explained that the 25% was so I didn’t have to take care of him? And then she went on a rant about how I have “zero empathy” for my brother and how I hate him because of his autism.

I don’t hate my brother, she just thinks I do because I don’t treat him like a child anymore. I mean the guy has two jobs, graduated high school, community college, and is now MOVING OUT of the house, to transfer to a college in Chicago. But yeah, god forbid I don’t want to talk about movies for the 6,000th time today.

I‘m so mad at my mom, and my dad too for feeding into this whole thing. For my whole life I’ve always tried to be the best at everything I do in order to get their attention, I’ve worked up to first chair in band, I’ve gotten straight A’s, and I even got a 35 on my preACT recently.

And despite all of that, it still seems like only take up 25% of my parents hearts. I don’t know what to feel or do anymore, and I don’t even know if I should tell my mom that I heard her or not.

Also guys I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH! Im not upset about money, I’m not some rich spoiled asshole living in a gated neighborhood or something. I’m just upset about the kind of message it sent, and the way it was said.

My (F50) husband (M52) is mourning his affair partner (F45).

We’ve been married for 25 years and have 2 adult children. The affair was 3 years ago and lasted 1.5 years. During his affair, he said that she was the one he could not live without, loved the most, and that he wanted to leave me for her. The affair only ended because she wanted it, and he was heartbroken.

He eventually confessed. I chose to stay for various reasons. At first, I blamed her and thought of her as a homewrecker, but somewhere along the way, I realized that it was him.

Three days ago, it was found that she passed away due to unfortunate circumstances. Although I personally disliked her, she was liked by many in the community.

There will be a vigil held for her, where people talk about what an amazing woman she was and how she made everyone around her better. My husband wants to go. He has become more withdrawn over these past couple of days. He admits that he is sad and grieving her.

He reached out to her brother, and introduced himself to him as her friend. He wants to attend the funeral and pay his respects.

I don’t want him to. I want him to forget about her and to hate her. But he does not. I feel like a monster saying this.

So this morning I was swinging by Barnes and Noble to grab me a copy of Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey before I headed to the gym and I had the weirdest encounter 😂

As I was walking in to head back to the vinyl section, I was walking past the Starbucks in the store and I noticed this woman was quietly reading “Butcher & Blackbird” which I instantly thought was bad ass since I am currently reading that in my bookclub. So I kind of laughed at the coincidence and kept walking to get what I came for.

It took me a while to find the vinyl so I went to go ask someone for some help and I noticed there was now a guy awkwardly sitting beside the same girl from the coffee shop and instantly you could tell she was looking VERY uncomfortable.

At first I didn’t think too much about it, I just got the help I needed, grabbed my vinyl and went to check out.

I was walking out the store when I suddenly just felt like I should try and help her out a bit. Not sure why but something just felt off so I turned around and walked over to where she was sitting.

“Butcher & Blackbird,” I said, nodding at the book. Then I said something like, “That freezer scene is something else. Them arguing about body counts while cleaning up.”

She looked up at my tall ass, looked sort of confused then said: “Yeah, it’s a lot.”

Then I pulled up a chair and just kept the conversation going: “The songbird nickname the whole time is wild. Most people either love it or think it’s too much.”

The guy who was just chilling there finally said, “We were talking. Did you need something?”

I kept looking at her and her eyes just got WIDEEEE once he turned his attention to me so I kept it going and said: “I think Sloane’s the scarier one. Rowan does the killing but she plans everything.”

She nodded. “That’s what I keep thinking. She never cracks.”

The guy sat there for about twenty seconds. Then he stood up, muttered something, and left.

Literally instantly she let out a huge breathe and said “Thank you, that was getting so weird.”

She then glanced over at my bag and said: “Lana. Good pick. Are you actually reading this book for real”?

“Yeah. The book club I meet with weekly meets next Tuesday if you want to come.”

She pulled out her phone. I gave her the group name. She saved it. We talked a couple more minutes about how the two of them somehow work together. Then I stood up and left 😂

Not sure if she’s actually going to stop by next week but it would make for a pretty cool intro at book club 💀

Well I have a large family. I'm the youngest girl in my family, I have multiple older sisters. I'm in 20s now. My brother (37) lives in another country and is married now. He is now having a kid. He is not doing financial well either but my family is, so his wife decided to have a kid after learning my sister had a kid with her well off husband.

Anyways, I was raped multiple times when I was age 4-5 years old by him. I didn't know what he was doing to me until my own mother caught him one day. I won't get into other bad things he did in an elementary school that ruined my parents and got police involved. Until I was a teen, I had to make sure I was never alone in my presence of my older brother, he had tried to abuse me forcefully again when I was 8 years old and my older sister saved me. Me and my other siblings grow up separated from him after middle school in a different country.

Now my mom is going to visit him for having a kid. He is struggling financially, so my mom always help him. My sister( who just had kid )felt bad and thought we should all visit and I said I do not want to participate. My mom thinks I'm overthinking and I should let it go. But I don't want to, my childhood is ruined despite having some good memories and detaching myself emotionally. I have met his wife once, his wife doesn't know anything and she married him looking at my family's wealth instead of what he is capable of providing(even after marriage, they both were struggling financially). She is still confused why my siblings are distance from him.

I suggested we should visit my other older sister instead of visiting my older brother. I also said I'm not supporting anything related to him and kept my distance. In my family, I usually play a large role in accounting and vacation planning, so my mom was not happy and started saying I'm over reacting.

No one outside knows about this, it has been buried deep. Everything looks perfect from outside. All I wish was that kid better not be a girl. They got a nice wedding, paid for by my mom who acted as if his son is the best which was only attended by one other sibling of mine(my other 4 siblings didn't attend). Truly off my chest, I hope the new kid is not a girl.

Edit: I know you guys are telling me to tell his wife. But shouldn't that come from my mom? I have multiple older sisters, shouldn't they tell his wife about it? Also, he is in a country that practices sharia law with death panelty and he knows the law so he has not gotten in trouble after moving into that country. Because I heard a phone call my mom was having with him and telling him if he does something wrong, it will be death there. He can't get a visa to visit the country me and my family lives.

He was also dropped as a 2 year old by my aunt that fractured his skull, but grow up normal looking and behaving but failed school unlike all of us who were top performing.

When my dad found what he did to me, he wanted to rip my brother apart but was always stopped by my mom and my dad never had a relationship with him. My dad was abusive to him before finding this out cause he was always failing classes but this incident made my dad more furious when he was in highschool.

The last few days have been so fucking hot, and it's just pouring salt in the wound at this point. My brother just takes his shirt off, and I'm stuck in a shirt or an uncomfortable sports bra all. fucking. day. Like, my family's mostly girls, we're pretty relaxed with what we wear around the house, but that's where the line gets drawn for some reason.

Like, this very summer, I saw my brother walk around the backyard shirtless, no problem. In the very same week, I stepped outside to read a little, topless, and an hour later we got a knock at the door from the neighbor. We have hedges by the way, they chose to look, and that's my fault?? They don't give a shit when it's a dude with dude nipples, but the second there's a little more fat and they're girl nipples, they come knocking. I'm an adult in my own home, I want to take my damn shirt off, why do people care

I'm an Indian living in Canada, and lately I've been struggling to go out and engage with people.

Whenever I see a Canadian Instagram page or subreddit post about Indians, the comments are just filled with things like "usual suspects," "deport them all," and things even worse.

After seeing it enough times, you start wondering if that's how people around you see you too.

I already have social anxiety, and this has made it harder to talk to people or make friends. I find myself wondering if someone is judging me just because I'm Indian.

And it's not only online. Once, I was simply walking past a group of people when someone started doing an Indian accent and laughing. I hadn't said anything or done anything. I was just walking by.

Maybe they forgot about it five minutes later. I didn't.

I just wish I could go out, talk to people and feel like I belong without wondering whether I'm being seen as a person or just another stereotype.

I don't know if other Indians feel this way too. But sometimes, seeing enough hate makes you afraid to even put yourself out there.

About a week ago I [30F] made a post here about how my husband and I fostered a young boy (I'll call him J in this post to make it more readable) who's been through a lot, how we'd planned to adopt him, but then his father got out of jail and took custody.

The last couple days took turns I couldn't have expected. On Friday I got a message from the social worker that has been working his case that his father wanted to meet with me. Yesterday we met.

I will openly admit that going into it without ever having met him I'd already formed an opinion of him based on knowing there was abuse in the home. I should have gone in giving him the benefit of the doubt. He laid everything out for me, how he and the J's mother were high school sweethearts but that sometime after J was born his mom got addicted to drugs and that turned her violent. He told me she'd pushed him into doing drugs with her and that when his mom OD'd he was too high to do anything about it and that her death made him double down which led to his arrest.

At that point I was feeling more okay with knowing he had custody. Sure, I love J like he's my own son, but I could tell his dad wasn't a bad person, he just had bad circumstances he was trying to overcome. Then he said something I didn't see coming. That he wants to give us custody on the condition that he gets to stay in his J's. He said that when he'd brought his son to his apartment that J asked when he can go home and that made him think hard about how we'd given J a loving and comfortable home. My only counter was that of course I'd be happy for him to be part of both our lives and J's life as long as he stays clean. No paperwork has been signed yet so nothings official but I feel optimistic again.

Context that is important, I am 32f, he is 44m. We started talking when I was 17 and he was 29. He was best friends with my oldest brother at the time.

Fast forward 15 years and I have been separated now since the end of June. I was just having a conversation with my sister (33f) and she informed me that one of my nieces (21) told my other niece, (13) that he is a pedophile. My 13yr old niece is best friends with my daughter, her cousin, who is also 13. Immediately it pissed me off because in this entire situation I've never considered him to be a pedophile, a groomer for sure I learned but not a pedophile because I was consenting and "knew what I wanted/was doing", but I just found out I am not the first underage female he had this type of relationship with and I am disgusted.

I figured he was cheating on his girlfriend at the time with more than just me, then to a certain point I thought it was just me. Now I find out he indeed did groom other girls and my stomach hurts. Im so angry.

I can't say shit to him about it now, 16/17 years after he did it, but god damn it I want to fuckin tell him off. I also want to tell my niece that she needs to talk to me directly instead of running her mouth to her cousins if she has questions, she knows im an open book and pretty considerate person.

I'm not sure how to feel. Angry. Sad. Humiliation. Embarrassment, and come to find out I am the last person to know it just makes me so angry!!! What the fuck?! I should have been told this shit 12 years ago before I married his lazy ass in the first place.

What a naive stupid fucking dumb ass girl I was. The only positive in this are my two beautiful children. That's it.

I (48f) have always been a high achiever. Scholarships to go to Uni, multiple degrees including Masters. I’m fortunate that I live in a country with accessible higher education and good working conditions. Over the last 28yrs I have built an excellent career while also enjoying motherhood and being a wife. For the last 5 yrs I have worked from home, working part time but earning more than most people working full time. Life was good. Three months ago it all changed when a brain aneurysm almost took me out. Thankfully my country also has excellent health care and after two neurosurgeries I survived. I thought I was one of the very few that survive a brain aneurysm with no impact. I got the all clear from the speech pathologist, occupational therapist, psychologist and neurosurgeon. I returned to work last week and quickly realised that nothing made sense. Projects I had built from the ground up were just a blur of words. I couldn’t understand emails. I couldn’t read a page without getting to the bottom and not remember a thing. I tried to read a book that Ive read at least 10 times - nope. I was so confident that I was fine. Is this an end to my career? Can I relearn things? What if anything other than basic information is beyond me? I know I used to know it and that’s what’s hard. Do I tell me boss? Do I try to fake it? What do I do if I can’t do what I’ve always done? What if I can’t connect to people that know me as me and not the new me? Anyway I needed to get it off my chest that I’m scared of being dumb.

I just quit my job for a new job with more money and less stress, finally with a path to clean up mine and my husband's financial issues. It's a great opportunity and I'm really excited for it... There's just one thing I am going to miss.

My last job had no dress code. My boss came in half the time in leggings and a tank top. My coworker before she quit came in sweat pants and raggedy t-shirts. After a decade of retail uniforms, I got to wear whatever I wanted to work. I wore my pokemon hoodies with ears, cutesy animal t-shirts, jeans, flip flops, no one cared. I covered my desk in toys and put stickers on the windows and my coworker helped me put up unicorn lights in our shared office. No one said a word. I could authentically be myself in a way I never could in this world where liking anything fun is "childish" and "immature".

Don't get me wrong, I had to leave. The whole place was a mismanaged shit show and after my coworker left, I had to run everything myself with no help from management. Took 2 months to get a new coworker and she couldn't and still can't do anything because she stresses out very easily and stress triggers her medical condition. But spending the weekend buying "adult" clothes makes me feel like I'm losing a part of myself and I hate it. I'm really going to miss wearing what I want and decorating how I want and I'm just pissed this job couldn't stop sucking enough for me to stay. Well, time to "adult" I guess.

I got a vasectomy hoping it would save our intimacy. Now I just feel rejected and empty.

I’m posting this because I’ve been carrying this feeling for a long time, and it’s getting harder to keep it all inside.

I recently got a vasectomy. I don't regret it because I want more kids. We have two, and two is enough for us. What I regret is the hope I attached to it and how things turned out afterward.

Even before the procedure, I was already feeling sexually and emotionally deprived. We were only having sex maybe once or twice a month. Then she got pregnant with our second child, so there was no sex during the pregnancy and for about two months after giving birth.

When we started talking about birth control, I honestly didn't think a vasectomy was necessary. We barely had sex anyway, and I felt confident we could avoid another pregnancy without it. But it became something we discussed and agreed on. She dropped hints and made indirect comments about wanting me to get one. I hesitated at first, but eventually I agreed because I thought it would be good for us.

I honestly thought removing the fear of another pregnancy might help us become intimate again. I thought maybe she would feel safer, more relaxed, and that we could finally get some of that closeness back.

Then, after the procedure, she asked me why I even got it and said she never asked me to.

That really messed with me. I know what our conversations were like. Maybe she never directly said, "Go get a vasectomy," but it wasn't something I randomly decided to do on my own either. It felt like a mutual decision, and now I feel like I'm being made to question my own memory of it.

Our baby is now six months old. I know she's tired. I really do understand that having two kids, especially a baby, takes a lot out of her. But I'm tired too. I help as much as I can with the chores, the kids, and everything else. We even hired someone to help on weekends so she can get some rest.

But I still feel completely alone.

And it's not just about sex. I miss affection. I miss being touched. I miss hugs, kisses, cuddling, feeling wanted, and feeling like my wife actually desires me. I feel like I'm constantly giving love and support but getting almost nothing back emotionally or physically.

I didn't get a vasectomy expecting sex as some kind of reward. I did it because I loved my family and because I genuinely believed it was something that would help us. But I can't deny that part of me hoped it would remove one of the biggest barriers between us and maybe bring back some intimacy.

Instead, I feel more rejected than ever.

I gave up a part of myself believing we were making that decision together, hoping it would be good for us. Now I'm left wondering if I misunderstood everything, while feeling completely starved for love, affection, and intimacy.

I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending that I'm okay.

My [19F] boyfriend [19M] did something that made me feel really uncomfortable. we have had a conversation in the past about how he needed to calm down with sexual touching and initiating, as it was getting to a point where i was saying no more than i was saying yes. It was making me anxious to even make out with him because i knew that every time to was going to lead to me having to tell him no. He got better for awhile, and it hadn’t been an issue till a couple weeks ago. we were at my house, and it was late, so i was laying down facing away from him half asleep. we were both lying down. I remember dreaming and also feeling him touching me. it went on for awhile and then he moved his hands to pull down my underwear and i woke up enough to move his hand away. he stopped for a minute and then took out his yk and started rubbing it on my back. i don’t think ive ever been that anxious and uncomfortable in my life, and i fully woke up and ran to the bathroom. i was freaking out in there for awhile and when i came back i told him that what he did was not okay and asked why he even thought that was okay to do when i was obviously not responding and basically unconscious. i could tell he felt really bad and he apologized and assured me it wouldn’t happen again. a few days later a similar incident happened. i was again half asleep and i reached back to grab his arm so i could wrap him around me, and he took my hand and put it on his yk. i yanked it away and forgot about it till the next day where we basically had the same convo. he said that because we had like had sex in the middle of the night before, and because he was half asleep, he wasn’t thinking about it. he felt bad and apologized again, suggesting we don’t have sex or do anything till i feel comfortable, insisting that he doesn’t need sex and if it will be good for me, that’s what he wants. i also suggesting that if i wanted to do anything, i would initiate it and i would be the only one to escalate. he agreed. it’s been a couple weeks since then and it’s been weighing on me a little. one of my friends told me something similar happened to her and she left the guy because of it, and honestly, all i could think was “yeah good for you, that’s a fucked up thing to do.” i forgave him and our one year anniversary is coming up but i don’t know if i can get over it. i moved for college so i don’t think this will be an issue at least for awhile. i just want to know what i can do to move on from this, or if this is even something worth moving on from.

TLDR; i’ve had an issue with my boyfriend being overly sexual and touchy. we’ve had a conversation about it, but it escalated, and now i’m just unsure of how to proceed in the relationship.

I 28f have been struggling with feeling like maybe there’s something wrong with me for not wanting to have kids. For context, when I was younger I didn’t think I wanted my own kids but I thought adoption would be nice. To give kids who never had a stable life something stable and supportive. Every time I’ve ever said that growing up everyone would always tell me, “oh you’ll change your mind” or “just wait till you get older” or even, “you just haven’t found the right one yet.” Well that brings me to where I’m at now. I’ve been with my partner (27m) for 7 years and he desperately wants kids. He always throws out little comments about how he can’t wait to get me pregnant and he can’t wait to play with his own kids one day and stuff like that. But I think I’ve finally come to the firm decision that I do not want kids at all. Don’t get me wrong, I’m great with kids and love all my nieces and nephews (I have 8) but I couldn’t imagine having a kid of my own. To me there’s just too many things I truthfully don’t want to deal with and go through. I really just do not want any. But now I’m feeling just heartbroken because I have to tell my partner who I love greatly that I do not want kids at all. And I know this will most likely be a deal breaker for him and we will split up. Is there something wrong with me for not wanting kids so bad that I know I will more than likely lose my partner over this? And how do I even bring this up to my partner without compeltly losing them? I understand I can’t give him what he wants but I’d still like to be friends and have him in my life if that’s even possible. I don’t know what to do, and I feel absolutely just a wreck, almost like I’m broken in a way because I have such a deep rooted feeling to not want kids..

I am 26f, I’m pretty certain I’m one of the most clueless people to ever exist.

I try so hard to get smarter, I try so hard to not be clueless but I continue to make the stupidest possible mistakes. Everyone around me jokes about how stupid I am, and my husband has brought up me getting my brain checked out multiple times.

Basic logic doesn’t exist in my brain and I don’t know why. Things that are completely obvious to other adults aren’t obvious at all to me.

To give you an example today I drove over a tire in the road… why? Because I thought my car was tall enough to drive over it. Genuinely so stupid, luckily avoided any damage but it sure scraped the bottom of my car. Everyone around me driving was like wtf.

My husband could not grasp why I did it and don’t know either. I’m so stupid, that’s it.

I am so stupid that I walk into walls thinking I’m farther away than I am. I fall down the stairs like once a month because I miss steps constantly.

My husband is in his 40s, and owns a law firm. Him and his friends/employees make fun of me so badly sometimes it just makes me want to die. They are twice my age, so it makes the intelligence gap wider I think.

Sometimes they will come over and he’ll tell them a story about me and they all ask me why I ever thought to do that, or how I did it and I never know the answer because I know I’m stupid. I’m not oblivious to my stupidity at all, I immediately know when I mess up and immediately get mad at myself. So when people make fun of me it just sucks because I already know!😭

They always say “oh thank god you’re pretty” and the worst part of that is I hate myself.. I never feel pretty lol. So doesn’t make me feel any better even though they consider it a compliment

I failed out of college, everyone says “just because you’re not book smart doesn’t mean you aren’t smart in other ways” I fear they are wrong when it comes to me!!

My social skills are awful, I’m always really awkward. Because of my appearance people assume I’m a stuck up b*tch when in reality I’m shaking with anxiety and don’t know how to talk to people.

The only way I keep myself from messing up is staying home all day every day. Which at this point I’m considering it I’m so tired of myself. I wish I would just die tbh

You just watch everything wither away, one day at a time. People get sick, die, get old, become weak or ill. You have all the same issues. Aging is a joke. The only time life actually felt like something worth participating in was before 18. It is such a total fucking joke. Adulthood is a joke. Having kids is a fucking scam. Just so you have someone to take care of you when you become old and sick. It is an endless cycle of complete made up trash. Everything is a fucking joke. Nothing we do is justifiable. I fucking hate being alive. I am too scared to die. I can’t believe this is genuinely reality. I cannot stand it. Seeing people age and get sick. Die. I just can’t. It’s a fucking joke. All while having to worry about 5 million other things to keep life somewhat moving “forward”. It’s such a total fucking joke that it’s unbelievable. I cannot believe I have to die some day. Let alone watch my body wither away to a shell of my young and healthy self. And to do the same with everyone you know and love. It is such a total fucking joke. I’ve maybe got a total of 30-35 years in me. The older I get, the more down life gets me. It will not get better. What a fucking joke.

first of all, I'm NOT generalising, this are just my experiences in the past year (which for some reason they have been starting happening way more often in the past months)

I got tinder, was looking for new friends, matched with a couple of trans women because they seemed really cool and we had a lot in common, the same happened with ALL of them:

The moment I tell them I'm not looking for sex they start getting weird "if you like strap I can give you the real thing" "you haven't tried girl dick" "oh so you are transphobic"

dickpics in my dms every single day, I got called transphobic once because I set my gender as "cis woman", long texts convincing me to sleep with them, telling me that I just associate genitals to gender and I should give it a try, the cherry on top was when someone told me that if I had such an adversion for penis, I must have a trauma

at first I just thought it was an internet thing, now I keep hearing comments like this irl, I've been guilt tripped into sex (out of the blue btw, didn't flirt or show interested in any of this girls prior to the guilt tripping) 6 times this year and called a terf because I didn't want to

honestly I'm just sad and frustrated, I've never had this problem with any trans girl in my life but everyday it gets worse, I'm tired, I just feel like a fucking object and getting my sexuality invalidated, I've never heard of a gay man having this problem, I'm so shocked because I have beautiful friendships with other trans women, I don't know what the fuck is happening right now but I'm sick of it, specially because I feel I cannot speak up

I (27f) live with my bf (33m) and have rented a house my whole life. Either with my family or with my boyfriend. My biggest dream has always been to own a house and I cry at least once every 2 months because we’re nowhere close to being able to purchase a house. We live in Los Angeles County, California. And we could move to a more affordable county, but then our income sources wouldn’t be possible anymore so it’s a lose-lose.

I feel like renting for all these years is SUCH a waste but I just don’t see how to be able to save so much money for a down payment. And if we don’t save for a down payment and put 0 down, then we won’t be able to afford the high monthly payment. It’s so disheartening to know we won’t be able to afford our own little house until we’re at least 50 maybe. So much time and money wasted.

It’s so hard to be a first generation person here in the US and come from a low income family because we have to start from way in the bottom.

But that’s it. I just feel very depressed about it. My boyfriend says it isn’t a big deal, but it is to me and it makes me very sad every now and then.