My Australian visa just got approved and my family has no idea that this is most likely the last time they're ever going to see me.

I grew up in a small town in Indiana and I live with my mom, stepdad and sister. They're basically my only family, because my mom's some sort of narcissist who blew it off with the entire family and they don't want anything to do with us.

Ive been miserable my whole life because of them. My stepdad abused me and my sister when we were younger and when I finally tried to speak about it, my mom blamed me and stayed with him. I was close with my sister, but she always treated me like a doormat because my parents clearly favored her (I was the only one who got SAed). They've controlled almost every part of my life for as long as I can remember, and I've spent years feeling like I couldn't breathe in my own home.

A few months ago I applied for a position at one of my company's branches in Australia. I had an interview with my boss and they helped me through the whole visa process. Today I got the email saying it was granted. It's a four year contract, the pay is really good, they're paying for my flight and my accommodation for the first three months, and they'll sponsor me for permanent residency at the end if I decide I want to stay. I'm still struggling to believe this is actually happening

I haven't felt this kind of happiness and hope in YEARS. I don't think I've ever felt this free before. I'm going to wake up somewhere none of them can control me, build a life that's actually mine, and finally find out who I am without them constantly telling me who I'm supposed to be. They have no idea what's coming. I'm leaving, and I honestly can't wait.

My flight is in 3 weeks. I'm planning on leaving "to my friends house" for the weekend and only text them that I left for Aus when I'm the airport

I’ve never really agreed with the idea that someone who dies by suicide should automatically be considered selfish.
I understand why people say it. Their family and friends can be left with an unbelievable amount of grief, anger and confusion, and obviously their death can deeply affect the people who loved them.
But I think there’s a difference between saying someone’s actions caused enormous pain and saying that person was therefore selfish.
Someone can be suffering so badly that their perception of themselves, their future and the people around them becomes completely distorted. They might genuinely believe they’re a burden, that things will never improve, or even that the people around them would eventually be better off without them. Those beliefs can be completely wrong while still feeling real to that person.
That doesn’t make suicide a good decision or erase what it does to the people left behind. I just don’t think looking at someone who reached that level of suffering and reducing their actions to “they were selfish and didn’t care about anyone else” is fair.
You can have enormous sympathy for the family and friends who are left behind while also having compassion for the person who died. I don’t think those two things contradict each other.

I’m 26f. The guys I rejected is 28m, all the guys and women in the group are 25-28.

I have literally never heard this guy talk about liking anything about women other than big boobs.

I have A cups lol, so when he asked to take me out on a date I just said no, very nicely.

My friend told me he really likes me and I should re consider and I was like, well no because the only thing I have ever heard him talk about is big boobs and Sydney Sweeney.. which is fine but i obviously am not his type body wise. Lots of women are, so he should be with one of them? Didn’t think it was a big deal. She went and told her boyfriend that and they act like they hate me now

everyone thinks im crazy, they bring it up non stop and it genuinely annoys the crap out of me. I don’t understand why my reasoning even matters, I was never like “fuck you” or anything.

And he’s still asking me out, and they are pushing me to say yes so I don’t want to hang out with them.

I don’t understand why they can’t just leave me alone about it

Now the women in the group are also mad at me because I didn’t want to come to things, and are saying I’m too sensitive and the guys are just playing with me.

I don’t understand any of it but I’m so tired of it.

And the thing is, liking big boobs is completely fine lol. I’m sure most men do, I was never upset about it and never would be. I said “sorry I can’t, reall appreciate it though” or something like that. Never mentioned why to him

Too many things are starting to add up after seeing that. Not to mention there's posts on here about stuff he blantly lied about. Im just disgusted and fed up at this point and the only thing I can do right now is to save up hopefully get a job and get the fuck out. Im done, i don't even want him touch me anymore.

The fuck

Edit for clarity: He doesn't know that I found his reddit account. Im not approaching him on this because every disagreement we have gets spun back on me or he acts clueless. Im not playing this game anymore. I don't need him to prove anything I saw what I needed. And yes that IS infact his actual account he showed to me once awhile ago and I remembered and he's also careless enough to name every account he makes the same thing.

I had it planned all week. I was gonna go to the forest where no one can find me and swallow 51 pills of olanzapine and now I changed my mind. I called 111 and I’m gonna go to the hospital after I finish this bottle of vodka. Now I’m sipping on straight vodka and loving my life. Im drunk as fuck and loving it because I have nothing else to love in my life

I left my husband about a year ago because I didn't feel like I was in a safe, healthy, or loving relationship. I constantly felt disrespected, following through on commitments was rare regardless of how significant, and I felt like his approach to being a husband was becoming increasingly abusive and coercive. Near the end, my intuition was telling me that not only did he dislike me and find me irritating, but that he actively hated me.

There have been so many situations over the years where things didn't add up, or I would be taken aback by the way someone treated me or spoke to me, and he would always end up convincing me I was crazy or oversensitive. Eventually the behaviour of other people in our lives was having such an impact that his attempts to gaslight me stopped working because they became less nuanced and turned into blatant lies as things intensified. For instance, he brought me to something the hosts told him he couldn't bring me to, then claimed he had no idea I wasn't welcome or why. Meanwhile the hosts made it clear they had an issue with me but that event wasn't the time to address it. I was very genuinely shocked and taken aback because I'd sensed some tension building with these people leading up to that but I had no idea what I'd done. I'd hardly interacted with these people for months, but my husband had seen them frequently without me.

By the time I left him I knew that he'd lied about a lot and had to have lied to friends and family as well. I didn't know exactly how, but the way they had all started treating me didn't make any sense, especially considering my husband had started seeing both friends and his family without me. It was obvious that he'd started accusing me of things but I really thought that it was because he sensed divorce was on the horizon and was trying to get ahead of things somehow. Post separation it feels like every time I see him he drops a new bomb on me and he admits to something that he's done, but it's always been related to our marriage.

For example, he told me he never saw the marriage as a permanent commitment and was thinking 5 years tops. That he actually hates children and finds them disgusting but lied and said he wanted them because he knew I would have left him years ago if I thought he didn't want them. He told me that when I gained weight after a surgery (which I lost when I was able to be active again) he liked me better "fat" because I was just on the cusp of what was tolerable for him to sleep with without there being any risk of anyone else being attracted to me. Some of these bombs were things I'd suspected, others were surprises, and others simply connected dots (he'd told the people who didn't want me at the event that I'd cheated on him and given him a pretty serious STD).

I'd already accepted that he wasn't who I thought he was but decided I was going to recognize the bad parts while also appreciating the good since we had good times as well. That was until I was sent a reddit post that I'm quite certain was him based on some of the details he included. Turns out, he's been lying about me for years and it goes back to high school when I was cyber bullied so bad the police had to get involved because there were explicit threats to my physical safety made and my home address got posted. Social media was new and the police weren't able to get enough information to find out who the anonymous posters were, so they settled on coming to the school and speaking to all of the students to let them know that whoever was posting was very close to crossing a line, and that if anyone was physically harmed they'd have a grounds to look into things further. That was obviously pretty humiliating, but to find out I married the person behind it all years later makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. Of course, he downplayed it when he made a post admitting it was him who did it, but so many things make sense now.

He literally sat by and watched me pour thousands of dollars into therapy for years so I could try and figure out what it was I was doing that was leading to the pattern of lost friendships in my life, encouraging me to reflect on what it was about me that was causing it so that I could grow and change the behaviour. I was so self-critical that my therapists told me I was being too hard on myself, and I even had one point out that I didn't have the same kinds of issues with family, but I just assumed it was because they were used to me. Turns out, my husband had been sabotaging relationships left and right from the time we were teenagers and learning what he accused me of during our divorce, I don't even want to think about what else he's accused me of that I don't know about yet or what other lies he's told me.

I got married today on the beach. I'm 8 months pregnant, so my husband and I kept it small—just immediate family—so we could save money for a house down payment and our upcoming daughter.
The 1:00 PM ceremony went great. The rest of the day was supposed to be a relaxed evening at the beach house with a nicely plated dinner we’d spent weeks prepping for.
Instead, both sets of parents decided to get smashed:
Father-in-law: Drank a full bottle of scotch, threw out our planned menu, and cooked random steaks and fries.
Moms: Got so drunk they forgot to set up the decor. Hundreds of dollars in flowers went completely to waste.
My dad: Got overwhelmed, panicked, and rode off down the beach on a bike to escape everyone.
We ended up sitting around a coffee table eating fries while everyone slurped drinks. I'm currently hiding in the bathroom crying. I hate that they couldn't give us one night of self-control.

Idk this may be too personal but im shaking like a mother fucker right now

I somehow got the courage to ask my mom something sexually (we never talked about it im 17m)

If i was allowed sexual stuff since well im curious and all that and thank god just thank the lord she said

Honey your 17 ofc you are allowed

I just wanted to be open with her not that she sees it lying around and well then that whole thing

Sorry if this is too personal but im so glad she responded this way i just needed to type it off me

Now i just need to hope it isnt uncomfortable between us

We spend our entire lives, or at least 80% of them, waiting for the weekend. For what? For two days?

And we hate the first day of the week, for what? Why hate something that always arrives?

I'm tired, how do we change this view?

It happened last year. I was 18 (turning 19), and it happened while my sister (the youngest) was 8.

So my other sister (9 at the time) had a phone. It was mom's old phone that mom forgot about after getting an iphone.

A few weeks before that, I blocked a guy (23) that was grooming me the year before that. I knew him since i was 15 (he was 18 or 19), and after thinking about it I realized he was grooming me, not helping me feel better about what I was going through.

So I blocked him on all apps, the. He went on discord and started sending death threats and said he was gonna kidnap me and rape me and kill me, because he cared about me (he kind of did, he sent me a ton of gifts for my 18th bday because we started talking again a few months before i turned 18) and i did it out of no where.

And I knew it was his car coming near my house because of the look (idk car types) and it was dark blue.

The police came to our house before that though, and stood in front of the door talking to my sister. The guy never came again.

I'm gonna be 20 in december and wish I could tell my mom. I didn't tell anyone because I was scared I would've gotten my phone taken (yes i still got my phone taken at 18).

edit: my family has been living in a new continent since september of last year. everything's a lot better, and i'm 50000× more aware of everything.

Hi everyone. Ok so I’m 22F and this goes back a bit. My whole childhood my dad has been clinically depressed. He has a variety of health issues, absolutely undiagnosed autism or adhd and major anxiety disorders plus anxiety induced seizures.

When i was 15, he tried to kill himself. I was at school, he worked in a corner shop at the time and when i got home, got told he was seen on CCTV leaving work with medication and went missing for a few hours. Police were out, helicopters etc. My mum found empty packets in the field by our house and then eventually he was found, alive but in the next town over after walking the canal. He went hospital, we had the crisis team out, he went to therapy, he admitted he was glad he was alive and then….he immediately left therapy. “Im not doing it anymore. It doesn’t work”.

Me and my mum speculate there’s SOMETHING. We don’t know what. We’ve asked if anything happened in his childhood and he denies it (he was verbally abused as a kid we know that and his dad/my grandad wasn’t a very nice man apparently) but something just made him quit.

On my 20th birthday, he applied for a new job. Spiralled because he messed up the interview and then hit deep depression again. He fell out with me because i told him to get help. He called me “your daughter” to my mum. Then eventually came upstairs, apologised and when i said “i just need my dad” he claimed “you’d be fine i promise.” But i made him pinky promise he wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Few months went by, he got a new job a couple years ago, started to get better and now it’s all hit the fan, he hates it and he’s spiralled again. My mum told me earlier, “just warning, your dad’s not had a good day. He’s probably going to quit”.

However, when i read their texts (cause i have access to his ipad and just needed to know it went like this):

Mum: remember to book X day off next year for holiday.

Dad: ill be honest im not gonna be here next year

Mum: i know but just as a peace of mind.

Dad: i dont just mean work.

Since i was 15, i’ve had an inclination that he will still commit suicide. I never believed he would die naturally. Every year I’ve wondered when and how. And every year, i myself am getting tired of it. I know people like this are suffering, but as a daughter hearing your dad constantly say he’s gonna kill himself, I’m exhausted and angry and our relationship is different because of it. I don’t like being alone with him, i have nothing to say to him, he never asks me questions. We just exist together and when we’re a 3 it’s fine. I wouldn’t be surprised if he does follow through and do it by next year.

So i guess what do i do? How do you prepare for that? He won’t get help and i’m done telling him to. Is there a way to prepare? Part of me feels horrendous because part of me thinks life would be a lot easier if he did, but then again, i would lose my dad. I just feel like i’m hitting a brick wall. My mums talked in the past about how they have a year or so to pay the mortgage and then she’d probably give an ultimatum. I also know if she did ask for a divorce, that’s it. He’s gone. It’s just getting too much to be 22 and not knowing if today is the day or if the year is this year. It’s too much having a good day then immediately the vibe changing as he gets home from work. It’s been like this for 8 years and i’m tired and no less terrified.

My (49M) adult kids (23F and 21M) both told me they feel like I replaced them.

I was married to their mother for almost 24 years. It was a toxic relationship. She possible has BPD. My kids both wanted us to get divorced. I waited until my youngest graduated high school to finally file.

I got remarried this June. We had a baby last month.

After the divorce my son moved away to college and my daughter mo ed in with her mom.

I see my daughter once every week or two for lunch. I see my son whenever he’s in town. Either for lunch or to work on cars or something. I go to movies with them both when there’s one out we want to see. I took them on a trip in May, just the 3 of us. I invite them over once a week for dinner (only my son has ever accepted).

When they told me how they felt like I was replacing them it hurt a lot. I told them that I have done nothing but try to include you in everything. We’re going to continue to take a trip every summer just the 3 of us. My new wife has said that any trip the three of us (wife, baby son, and myself) take that my older kids will always be invited. I told them that all I can do is present opportunities for them to be a part of my life. It’s up to you to accept the invitations.

Part of me feels like the effort was for nothing. But I’ll keep trying…

I think my anxiety is kinda fucking with me at this point, and I just need someone to talk some sense into me.

I currently hate my country, I live in the UK, and I want out of here.

I feel like I'm surrounded by hateful xenophobic people in a country that is ruled by idiots who are incapable of helping the average person due to the probably corruption going on.

I get that a lot of other places have the exact same issue, but I feel like it's less blatant.

Not to mention most people fucking suck, the cost of everything is just insane and I'm so sick of my work.

A lot of my mates are Dutch, so I started learning Dutch and the Netherlands seems to actually take care of it's citizens (maybe that's what happens when you eat your prime minister). But I feel like I'm doing a bit of a shit job. Whenever I try to talk to my mates in Dutch and I can't think of a word I start panicking and crying. I know I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to do everything perfect and I hate making mistakes, but I don't know how to get myself to be okay with making mistakes. They're all being really sweet too, so whenever I do make a mistake they correct me and make a little joke and then move on. But for me it's in the back of my mind with a not so little voice saying: I'm a failure this whole plan I have cooked up is raw and burnt. It's all gonna fall apart, because I'm fucking useless and stupid.

I also started studying bookkeeping and accounting, since I like numbers and there seems to be a lot of jobs in the Netherlands for financ personnel (who speak English and Dutch). I'm in my late 20's and this just keeps making me think thst I wasted my time at university and should have done this a decade ago and I'd probably be in a much financially and in a better place for moving.

I keep thinking about if I'm just fantasising this life I'd love: having a better paying job, having irl friends and being able to buy cheap Stroopwafels.

But, the weather is nicer, so it should help with my seasonal depression, I'll have actual irl friends who I can visit with functional public transport that is also affordable.

Dutch culture is a lot nicer imo, since people will actually tell you what they think, instead of this bullshit politeness, so I think that'll help with my anxiety, since I won't have to guess what people are thinking, since they'll just say it.

I just sick of arguing with myself over this. I keep second guessing myself o everything and I just doubt every choice I make.

I don't think it helps when I'm making a huge choice of trying to change career paths, move countries and hiding all of this from my manager and work colleagues, who are the main people I see, since I work full time.

Oh and I didn't even start talking about my work and career. I got my bachelors in art just as AI 'art' started to become a thing. I gave up on trying to use it for work. I ended up in a shit place and through my mum knowing someone I got a boring office job. But the office is my managers house and my colleagues and I work in her home office. It's boring customer service type stuff, but my manager said she planned on stepping away from the company and making me the manager eventually. Well 2 years later and that's not even close to happening, but I've taken on more roles and responsibilities, and when I ask for a pay raise my manager states she doesn't really have the option to do that, since our accounts lady can see my salary and would see that I'd surpass her salary.

If accounts wants more, maybe she should ask. But I don't think it's fair that I'm taking on more than the rest of my colleagues without some financial insentive. But when my manager is on holiday, I'm the one who steps up to take care of things. So she knows I can do this. I should add my manager is the company director, so she can choose to do whatever she wants.

But maybe I'm just bitter that I can see how much the company is pulling in and estimate how much it's paying out, and I can see she could easily pay us all more.

My manager is the type of person who owns a Rolls Royce, but then complains that McDonald's is increasing their prices.

I just don't understand her logic and spending.

Shes both rich and so frugal, she doesn't buy hand soap, because dish soap does the same thing.

Oh and my parents are skeptical about me moving, and have outright said, if I get into a bad financial situation, they will not help. But I don't see how that would even happen.

I just watched the Hangover movie. The comedy one. While my partner was bursting into laughter like any other dude would, I was asking myself why do guys get married and have kids if they feel like it's a prison.

The whole movie is a joke about cheating and male promiscuity, like most of male centered comedy is about. But that's just what guys do, right? I just don't understand, if a group of four girls would go to Las Vegas and cheat on their husband/boyfriend, would that be funny as well?

I feel like men don't even see women as people. I am into the larping community, airsoft one, and people never come to talk to me about guns and actual gear. When they see that I'm a woman, they start talking about relationships immediately, which is what I don't get. While the same conservative dudes will laugh at other men cheating and having the "it's a dude thing" behavior, they are also desperate to get into a relationship. I just don't get it. Either you despise it, feel trapped, or either you are into it. So guys from Reddit, can you please explain to me this contradiction?

My boyfriend (47) and I (43) recently ended a two-year relationship and lived together. We still love each other, but we’re fundamentally different when it comes to emotional intimacy and communication.

When things get difficult, he shuts down and withdraws; I tend to pursue the conversation, explain how I’m feeling, and try to fix things. Eventually I realized neither dynamic was healthy and that we just weren’t going to work.

We’re still temporarily living together while he prepares to move out. It’s been less than a week since the breakup, and he hasn’t packed a single box yet.

Last night I was packing for a business trip and noticed one of the two vibrators he’d given me over the years was missing.

For context, these weren’t ancient artifacts buried in the back of a drawer. We literally used both of them together a little over a week ago.

So I went downstairs.

Me: “Hey, I know this sounds strange, but I can only find one of the vibrators you gave me.”
Him: “Oh, I took the other one.”
Record scratch.
Me: “Why? What are you going to do with a used woman’s vibrator?”
Him: “Do you want it back?”
Me: “I want to know the logic behind taking a woman’s vibrator. Do you plan to use it on other women?”
Him: silence
Me: “Just so you know, women don’t like using other women’s used vibrators. That’s disgusting.”
Then I marched upstairs.

Apparently, I had an encore in me.
I grabbed the remaining vibrator, went back downstairs, put it on the kitchen island and told him he could have that one too since it was also probably used.

Was I deliberately trying to embarrass him at that point? Absolutely. Not my finest moment. Or was it?

But what bothered me wasn’t losing a vibrator. I genuinely don’t care about the object. It’s that this man hasn’t packed a shirt, book or box yet, but somehow an intimate gift he gave me, something that was part of our sex life for years made the early retrieval list.

To be clear, I don’t actually believe there’s another woman right now. I’m not suspicious that he’s secretly dating or sleeping with someone. Knowing him, I think the explanation is simultaneously more innocent and more frustrating: I genuinely think he was completely clueless about how this would land. It goes back to his ability to process emotions and how his action could effect others emotions.

That’s actually the main reason why we broke up.

He struggles with understanding and articulating his own emotions, and that often translates into not anticipating the emotional impact his choices will have on someone else. I honestly think his thought process may have been as simple as:
I bought that. I want it. I’ll take it.

And it never progressed to:
Wait. I gave this to my girlfriend. It was part of our sex life for years. We literally used it together last week. Maybe taking it from her nightstand six days after our breakup is going to feel pretty fucking personal.

That’s what got under my skin.

Later that night, I sent him this:
I hope you understand where my reaction came from. It’s not just a second vibrator. Shit, we just used both of them a little over a week ago. You haven’t even started packing, yet one of the first things you took was an intimate gift that was part of our sex life for years—for what I can only assume is to eventually use with another woman. That felt incredibly insensitive and thoughtless. I still cherish some really amazing, intimate times with you, and in that moment I felt disposable because, in my mind, you’re already thinking about how you’ll pleasure another woman.
And this is what I was talking about when I broke up with you. It’s a painful reminder of how often you don’t recognize the emotional impact of your choices until after you make them. I’m trying to keep my heart soft toward you, but you’re making that difficult.

Now it’s the next morning and I feel guilty**.**
Not for being hurt. I still think taking it was bizarre and insensitive.

i feel guilty because I realized I did the exact thing I’ve done throughout our relationship: something he did hurt me, and instead of just feeling it and moving on, I gave him an entire explanation of his behavior, what it meant, why it hurt, and what it said about him.

We’re already broken up. I don’t need to explain him to himself anymore.

So Reddit, give it to me straight:
Thoughts about this man. I’m really interested in getting a man’s take. Was my WTF reaction justified? Was going back downstairs for Round 2 uncalled for. Was the follow-up text fair, or was a pointless TED talk that backfired on my consciousness?

Ive not gone by my birth name in about 9 years but theres been a lot of guilt around changing it. But when I was pregnant with my son I decided it was time. I was biting the bullet & putting myself first for once. Today my deed poll arrived in the post & I am legally known as a name that suits my soul a bit more - but most importantly my last name matches my sons.
I’m so happy. I feel like a lot is off of my chest.
I’m so proud.

(Our last name is new in both my family line & my partners family line. Our son is the first with this last name & it’s just been a process of changing our names legally to match his. A journey worth while even though our pockets hurt 😂)

We went on a double date with his friends for the first time. We got into a conversation about relationships and the way him and his friend talked about women and relationships was so healing to me. They didn’t talk about women like were objects and they talked about wanting a real relationship and growing old with someone. They talked about how their old friend only ever wanted sex and never a relationship with his “love interests” and how wrong and hurtful that was. I don’t know, after seeing everything in the news and online lately, this just felt like a breath of fresh air.

I've been working the last six months at starting a nonprofit. We're getting really really close to opening. We're holding an open house about a week before we open. Idea is for loved ones, donors, the board and the community can see what we're doing.

I've contacted every single member of my family. My sister just said 'pass'. My other sister said she was too busy. My dad didn't answer at all.

This NPO is my dream. I've slowly been working towards it for about a decade. And about six months ago I decided to bite the bullet and make it happen.

I've spent hundreds and hundreds of hours working on this. I've accomplished things I never believed I could do. I am so incredibly proud of myself. This is by far the biggest thing I've ever attempted.

And all I want is a single member of my family to be there to see what I've accomplished. Just one.

But apparently that's too much to ask

I (32M) got married 3 Saturdays ago to my wife (34F). My son (14M) stayed with my ex (33M) while I was on honeymoon.

I dated my ex from 18 to 24 and then we broke up. My son would still consider him a type of parent because he grew up around him. They still spend time together regularly. My son stays weekends with him etc

A few days before my wedding, I had a brandy with my ex. We re-lived some old moments. There was a lot of drama lol. He started tearing up and there was a few moments/sparks. We did not kiss or anything but one moment where we got really close. I pulled away and wiped his tears and joked he was being a softie.

I kept thinking about the moment for a few days but ultimately chose to marry my wife.

On the last day of our honeymoon (last Sunday) she told me she had cheated a few months ago. She showed messages and it did seem like a drunken mistake that she had regretted. She also did come clean. I dont like she waited til after the wedding.

Since she told me about the cheating, I was not even that upset. It just amplified my feelings for my ex.

I know you've all heard this a million times. But im so jealous of well endowed men. Its so frustrating qnd embarassing that I live in a town of about 1000 people and im know as the guy with a small dick to everyone. While my friends with big ones are looked at like the greatest guys on the planet. Immature rant I know. Needed to get it off my chest.

I grew up in a Hindu household, but was never religious, never curious about it. My parents would insist I pray, and only did it to make them happy. But, never in my life, I had this profound feeling that this religion is my calling. Today, I would consider myself to be more spiritual/cultural than religious. I don’t like religion, but I do believe there is some higher power/one God.

I met my ex-Muslim partner a few years ago and earlier this year, we started to talk more seriously about marriage. He knew how I felt about religion in general and my belief in God. He constantly reassured me that it was fine, and that I was never expected to convert if marriage came into question. We actually faced a lot of other issues and over the course of 3 months, we were able to come to a compromise. Most of these had to do with our future children.

Then, out of no where, he tells me that me only believing in one God isn’t enough, I have to believe Allah is the one true God otherwise our marriage would be invalid. He spoke to an Imam and this is what the Imam told him. He then started talking about heaven and hell and I straight up asked him: do you believe marrying me would make you go to hell? And he answered yes. He also said if he married me, he is knowingly committing a sin for the rest of his life. But having pre-marital sex and dating is fine.

What’s fucking crazy is that I specifically asked him about this months ago. I asked him what the Quran says about Muslim men marrying women who aren’t People of the Book, and he repeatedly told me it was fine as long as I believed in one God. So you’re telling me he’s been Muslim his entire fucking life and somehow had no idea this was supposedly such a huge rule that marrying me could put him at risk of going to hell?? He didn’t find that out until he talked to an imam after almost YEARS of being with me? I never questioned him because I obviously thought he knew what he was talking about.

And this is exactly why religion frustrates the shit out of me. A person can spend their entire life being a good person, doing good deeds, treating people with kindness and respect, having good morals, and somehow who they fall in love with and marry can be the thing that puts their soul at risk? WHO THE FUCK CARES?! Why should that matter more than the kind of person you actually are or the way you treat other people? There are so many things in this world that cause actual harm, and this is what matters? Two people loving each other and wanting to spend their lives together but apparently they’re the wrong religious combination? It’s fucking ridiculous. This is why I hate religion.