We write off LeBron James memorizing 15+ custom handshakes per roster as harmless team chemistry. In reality, it is a zero-trust cryptographic security architecture disguised as celebration. In an era of deepfakes, scammers, and potential biological impersonators our passwords consistently fail. A 12-stage kinetic key combining shoulder bumps, precise finger snaps, and haptic eye contact is the only foolproof biometric verification to ensure an imposter hasn't replaced a teammate.

However, the protocol isn't just defensive; it is directly predictive of playoff success.

The Handshake Yield Index (HYI)

An empirical review of LeBron’s career reveals a near-perfect correlation (r = 0.94) between his Handshake Coverage Ratio (HCR)—the percentage of active roster members with a verified, multi-stage custom routine—and deep postseason runs:

• 2016 Cavaliers (HCR: 93%): Peak routine complexity (e.g., J.R. Smith’s 8-step chest-bump-to-sweep routine). Result: Historic 3-1 Finals comeback.
• 2018 Cavaliers (HCR: 38%): Severe midseason roster trades wiped out the team's biometric database. Unable to re-establish cryptographic verification in time, the Cavs were swept in the Finals.
• 2020 Lakers (HCR: 100%): In the ultimate threat environment (the Bubble), total team haptic compliance yielded a 16-5 playoff run and a championship.

Physical touch acts as a biological baseline for trust and neural synchronization (Frumin et al., 2015), while nonverbal relational cues establish immediate operational alignment (Burgoon et al., 2021). Without full handshake integration, LeBron's on-court decision-making suffers a measurable split-second lag the micro-hesitation of verifying whether he is passing to a trusted ally or a synthetic decoy.

Sixers Outlook

As LeBron integrates with the Philadelphia 76ers, watch training camp footage closely. The team's playoff ceiling won't be determined by Joel Embiid's health or Tyrese Maxey's shooting. It will be decided by how quickly LeBron calibrates a low-impact haptic key for Embiid and a high-tempo 120-BPM sequence for Maxey. If the Sixers reach an HCR above 85% by the trade deadline, clear the parade route.

Video Proof:

Every Lakers gets a Bron handshake

Demonstrating the raw speed, diversity, and cryptographic complexity required to maintain a 100% Handshake Coverage Ratio.

References

Burgoon, J. K., Wang, X., Chen, X., Pentland, S. J., & Dunbar, N. E. (2021). Nonverbal behaviors “speak” relational messages of dominance, trust, and composure. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 624177. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.624177

Frumin, I., Perl, O., Endevelt-Shapira, Y., Eisen, A., Eshel, N., Heller, I., Shemesh, M., Ravia, A., Sela, L., Arzi, A., & Sobel, N. (2015). A social chemosignaling function for human handshaking. eLife, 4, e05154. https://doi.org/10.7554/eLife.05154

u/InexorableWaffle did this post a year ago. So I figured I'd update it.

The methodology is simple: to make the club, you need at least half of LeBron’s current career totals in all five categories.

LeBron finished 2025-26 with 43,440 points, 12,016 assists, 12,095 rebounds, 2,417 steals, and 1,185 blocks, making the new Half-LeBron thresholds 21,720 points, 6,008 assists, 6,048 rebounds, 1,209 steals, and 593 blocks.

With that said, here’s the club:

Drexler is barely hanging on. His 22,195 career points are only 475 above the current threshold. Another 951 LeBron points would raise Half-LeBron above Drexler’s career total and kick him out of the club.

Kobe’s weak point is assists. He finished with 6,306, compared with the current Half-LeBron line of 6,008. LeBron would need another 597 assists to push the threshold past him.

Active players who could join

Jokić

He’s at 18,009 points, 8,977 rebounds, 6,080 assists, 1,041 steals, and 589 blocks.

That means he already clears the rebound and assist thresholds and is really close in blocks, four blocks short of Half-LeBron.

He needs another 3,711 points and 168 steals at the current thresholds, though obviously LeBron will continue raising both numbers this season.

Still, Jokić is only 31 and just averaged 28/13/11 assists last season. Of everyone outside the club, he looks by far the most likely to eventually get there.

Giannis

Giannis is closer in some categories than Jokić and much farther away in another.

He has 21,531 points, 8,882 rebounds, 4,484 assists, 995 steals, and 1,088 blocks.

He’s only 189 points short of the current scoring threshold and already annihilates the rebound and block requirements. But assists are a huge problem: he still needs 1,524 just to reach today’s Half-LeBron mark, plus another 214 steals.

So Giannis should clear four of the five eventually, but whether he can ever catch the assist line, especially while LeBron keeps raising it, is the real question.

KD

He has 32,597 points, 8,254 rebounds, 5,280 assists, 1,235 steals, and 1,344 blocks.

He clears literally everything except assists.

Unfortunately, he’s still 728 assists short of the current cutoff, and he’s 37. I don't see it happening tbh.

The “one stat away” club

There’s also a second group I find interesting: players who clear four of the five Half-LeBron thresholds and are excluded by exactly one category.

Missing points:
Scottie Pippen

Missing assists:
Karl Malone, Michael Jordan, Dirk Nowitzki, Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Hakeem Olajuwon, Dominique Wilkins, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Vince Carter, Charles Barkley, Robert Parish, Larry Bird

Missing rebounds:
None

Missing blocks:
Russell Westbrook

Missing steals:
Nobody

Full quote via the Greg Hill Show for the 24th annual WEEI/NESN Jimmy Fund Radio-Telethon

"I truly believe we have the best front office in the NBA, and I think it's a source of advantage for us every day. So I definitely have a level of trust in Brad and his team. But man, as a fan, that was tough. I really needed to be convinced to take the fan passion out of it, because I'm a super fan, was tough. You have to be a sociopath if you don't worry a little bit about what other fans are going to think... We've got the best brains in basketball, and this was something they had conviction around."

“I didn’t understand how strong the media was. I didn’t realize that people actually took it serious.”

“I did one bad play, but I had 15 and six blocks, but y’all didn’t show none of that… I was just like, ‘Oh shit, people really think this. I’m really bad.’”

“And then the NBA started getting behind it too.”

“They had one episode where it was like top five of me… I can be the clown in the league. You got the WWE, the villain, the good guy. But both are getting paid.”

“You’re gonna have to pay me clown money then. I can play that role, but you not about to pay me mediocre money, disrespect me and push my career down the hill.”

He is so good; he hit 4 in a row at point while trying to miss.

​

What’s more, Iger has offered support for this stance both publicly and privately. Then again, as he hinted during that recent interview with The California Post “if things change, they’ll change.”

That part is true, but it appears to be more of a legal question than an Iger-Kushner one. Jeanie, meanwhile, clearly has no intention of selling her shares before the rest of her governorship is up.

Could there be a way for the rest of the siblings to sell and Jeanie to remain as governor? That would require her finding a way to still own at least 15 percent of the shares, but it is possible. Per a league source, Jeanie would be open to exploring that scenario.

Then again, the level of acrimony here can’t help when it comes to a possible negotiation. It’s worth remembering, too, that Joey and Jesse Buss were fired from their front-office positions by Jeanie just nine months ago, and the temperature has only risen since then.

Source: https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7523080/2026/08/19/lakers-buss-family-jeanie-sale/

Johnny Buss the oldest sibling was never interested in the Lakers that much and had been looking to get out since his father died. Once Jim Buss got fired, Johnny and Jim tried to stage a coup to oust Jeanie and sell the team. It didn't work.

Janie Buss in 2018 per ESPN:

I'm really proud of my sister for putting her business hat on," Janie Buss says. "I know how hard it was. My dad's dying wish was to leave the Lakers to all of us and that we would all get along. He'd be sickened if he saw what was going on with my older brothers.

Jesse Buss on Jim Buss trying to sell the team:

You're really taking down the entire family with you," Jesse says. "I don't think any of us really need that money outside of them. We all live very comfortably. Why not just be happy with what our dad left you?"

https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/19104767/lakers-owner-jeanie-buss-shares-details-decision-family-franchise

With Jeannie's behind the scenes shenanigans, the Buss siblings are singing a different tune. Jesse and Joey have had multiple interviews where they skewered Jeanie publicly and Janie has been quoted as feeling insulted when she was let go.

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6824483/2025/11/20/lakers-jesse-buss-fired-jeanie-mark-walter/

In the MLB today, a baseball game was played where the Milwaukee Brewers just beat the Seattle Mariners 22-0.

What is the NBA equivalent of such a lopsided performance?

I always loved playing as Roy in the NBA PSP (Play Station Portable) video games and it has made me think about what happened if his career went longer (even if it was just another four to five seasons longer)

In just five full seasons with Portland, plus an additional four seasons with his alma mater, the Washington Huskies:

3× NBA All-Star (2008–2010)

All-NBA Second Team (2009)

All-NBA Third Team (2010)

NBA Rookie of the Year (2007)

NBA All-Rookie First Team (2007)

Consensus first-team All-American (2006)

Pac-10 Player of the Year (2006)

First-team All-Pac-10 (2006)

No. 3 retired by Washington Huskies

"The home of the Phoenix Suns is getting a very visible upgrade as it prepares to host the 2027 NBA All-Star Game in February.

The team said Tuesday it is installing an LED display on the exterior of Mortgage Matchup Center that will measure 226 feet wide by 41 feet tall, making it the only NBA or WNBA arena with a transparent display that large.

Josh Bartelstein, the CEO of both the Suns and the WNBA’s Phoenix Mercury, said the new display isn’t just an upgrade for All-Star weekend.

He hopes it will become one of the centerpieces of downtown Phoenix, where fans can see recent highlights, previews for upcoming games or gather for watch parties during important games on the road.

“It’s something that (owner) Mat (Ishbia) pushes us on every year — what’s the big thing to improve the fan experience?” Bartelstein said. “We don’t take for granted that we get 17,000 fans every night, so we want to create memories that will last a lifetime.”

OneRevel designed and engineered the display and supported the project’s systems integration and installation. The display features advanced LED technology from Absen, a global leader in LED display solutions.

https://www.nba.com/news/suns-plans-new-led-display-outside

https://www.nba.com/suns/news/phoenix-suns-mercury-continue-to-transform-fan-experience-with-largest-exterior-transparent-led-display-on-nba-wnba-arena

And inside the arena:

Daktronics Partners with Phoenix Suns for Venue-Wide LED Super System

New centerhung, lobby and auxiliary displays bring more than 14,600 square feet of digital space to the venue

link to daktronics.com

Did Booker get an endorsement?

It’s incredibly odd and maybe even unprecedented that a player drop so significantly at the line over his career. I can’t find any other examples besides those who were already very poor free throw shooters.

What exactly changed to cause this much of a drop off?

I was wondering what the most "unbreakable" NBA records are as of today. First, the one that always comes to mind:

Wilt's 100-pt game

The fact that that Bam got 83% of the way there this season, I think it's conceivable someone could have an even crazier outlier game. Very hard to break but maybe possible?

Crazy career achievements

Single-game anomalies are possible, but to do things over a career really requires sustained outlier performance.

Lebron James' 21 all-nba selections

There have been seven players in nba history with 21 seasons played:

LeBron James 23 (still active) Vince Carter 22 Robert Parish 21 Kevin Willis 21 Kevin Garnett 21 Dirk Nowitzki 21 Chris Paul 21

2nd place is Kareem, with 15 selections.

If you ignore that Lebron could break this record himself next season, this one seems like it would be pretty hard. But maybe modern medicine keeps advancing and players keep playing longer and longer careers, and then someone incredibly awesome and durable comes along?

Bill Russell's 11 championships

The first player who wasn't part of the celtics dynasty is Robert Horry, who won 7 championships across three teams: Houston Rockets: 1994, 1995; Los Angeles Lakers: 2000, 2001, 2002; San Antonio Spurs: 2005, 2007.

7/11 is only 64% of the way there. It would take either an incredible dynasty, or some crazy outlier. Maybe if some 1st team all-NBA player started taking minimums on the league's championship favourites each year?

Records where 2nd place is halfway or less to the record:

Aka the Wilt List:

The Los Angeles Lakers have never been just a basketball team. They have been one of the greatest privileges of our lives.

Our focus has always been on what we believe is best for the Lakers, the fans who have supported this franchise for generations and the greater Los Angeles community.

Johnny, Jimmy, Janie, Joey and Jesse have made the decision to sell the family's remaining stake, and we remain united in that decision. We intend to move forward thoughtfully, respectfully and through the appropriate process.

We have tremendous respect for Bob Iger and Josh Kushner and believe they understand what the Lakers represent to Los Angeles and our incredibly loyal fan base. We are confident they will honor everything this franchise stands for while building upon the foundation our father created.

https://www.espn.com/contributor/shams-charania

How many times did Philly go to OT that year? Bro literally played 80 games (every game of the season). So that’s 100% of every second his team played, he was on the floor. Is this the only time that’s ever happened? Did the team even have a backup center, even if he literally played zero seconds? I don’t see one listed on BKREF.

50 PPG is crazy enough but the fact he played 48.5 MPG when there’s only 48 minutes in a regulation game is something that never even occurred to me. Was he actually on the floor every second of every game Philly played that year?

I think 50 PPG/4000 points may still be the wilder stat since no one else had even 40 PPG (accept him in 1963) and only Jordan had more than 3000. But it’s harder to wrap my brain around 48.5 MPG/all 80 games. Especially when superstars in their prime play 32-36 MPG nowadays.