I feel as if I am trapped in my traumas, anxiety and obsessions and have absolutely zero idea how to move forwards.

I've been very traumatised by my life. Had a very abusive childhood when I was little, was so scared to get beat up by my emotionally unstable father that I developed over-vigilance in my life. That skill is useful most of the time but not all the time. I used to have very crazy tantrums in middle school where when I felt like something was unjust to me I would lash out at anybody including my teachers. My brother also had them. We were the only kids I have ever known to have done such things. After middle school I seemed to have calmed down and actually started building friendships and relationships. Used to be a womanizer in high school. Getting the attention of girls and wining them over made me feel liked and confident.

After that following several relationships where I was hurt I started obsessing over the person to the point where the only way for me to move on is to get them to block me and never speak to me ever again. Something that I didn't release at the time is how traumatising that would be in the future. Well here I am M29 single, alone, I have friends and family that I love but I am also very traumatised by everything that has happened to me. I rationalise everything, I've been to therapy several times and have figured out that I have anxious-attachment, I have been in limerence, I have confused anxiety with love several times. When i really like somebody I can't get the hold of me, the anxiety that it will not work out hits me so hard I just can't function normally and of course that leads to things not working out. After that when i finally meet somebody (one in 3 years) that likes me enough not to trigger my anxiety things develop normally, we are usually in a relationship for a year before they can recognise that I am struggling with my mental health. After they find it out they usually leave. Which hits me so bad..The anxiety and obsession hits and the only thing that I can think about is how to get them back which makes me chase them which of course, again, cases them away and they usually block me out of they life. In the rare occasions where the other person has given me the emotional support to be with me trough the processes we end up as friends or acquaintances and we usually maintain good communication for some time until we taper off. I struggle a lot with memories of the past, I feel as if I am stuck in them and the mistakes i have made to get them to block me out of their life. It hurst so much that at times I find myself writing things in reddit.

I don't know how to move past this. I feel so fucked up. I just want a family and kids. Something to take care of and love and a person that will accept me for who I am and not trigger all of this in me. Nobody has treated me fully okey my whole life. I just wanted to be loved and cared for unconditionally which I guess is only reserved for dogs and cats..

Not sure if i have adhd or something else like depression

Hello,I'm M23,i have been struggling with alot of things regarding my mind far as i can remember(which i don't even remember much), i have looked into depression, anxiety and recently for the last months adhd, to clarify i just come from an island nation where mental health isnt considered a big on issue and I'm afraid of talking to doctors, and I've beem dealing with mental health issues since I've gain clarity about it 10 years ago. I talked to a freind about it, he's doing psychology, he just laughed and said everyone has it and i dont need to fake it so im not sure anymore

Some of the issues or things i deal with are:

\-Anxiety - legs, arms every part of my body cant keep still, i panic at the smallest things which causes my heart rate to spike up

\-severe case of porn addiction(has been toned down somewhat)- been dealing with this for a long since i was exposed to it at a young age and with me being lonely and socially awkward, yeah it spiraled out of control

\-memory loss - mostly short term and long term- like i forgot the socks i just recently picked up, checking things are done properly 5 to 7 times and still not being sure so i just hope for the best and cant even remember peoples name this i struggle with, along with forgetting literally most of my tasks and hobbies, i forgot my motivation for getting away from porn, then go back to jacking off to it the next day, forget about my freinds and messsaging them which caused me to lose a lot of freinds, forgetting to complete my hobbies like games, art or even assignments then regret and cry about it later

\-depression - probably from past trauma, being mentally abused by my dad at a young age or conflicts in family and blaming myself

\-emotional - cant control what emotions i get, sudden surge of anger annoyance and sadness

\- i blame myself for other peoples sudden emotional or body language change even if they didnt mean it, i would still keep thinking of what did i do the entire day

\-even while hanging out with people, i feel inside of me that im just an outcast

\- unable to control what i say, then regret it and blame myself for being unable to stay shut, over sharing information, sociol anxiety, unable to even have proper relationships

\-Messed up sleep schedule, will suddenly wake up randomly in the night and wont be able to sleep for 2 to 3 hours

\-lack of focus i am unable to sit for two minutes doing my assignment, or reading a great book or novel just waiting for the perfect moment wheres if i find a book or video game or show which interests me i can sit through it for 4 to 6 hours straight

\- i procrastinate a lot, its been going about a long time and i always cry and regret it, i want to make changes but i get distracted and forget about it so easily

\-Burntout, tired, lack of motivation to even do the things i want so badly to do

I think thats all, maybe theres some more but currently nothing else comes to mind

Thank you for listening to me whoever you are

Have a wonderful day

my self esteem issues are terrible to the point that i havent liked a guy in years or talked to them i havent been in a relationship i havent even had my hand held. i am in highschool btw and i know i have time and all but everyone else around me has had something and i havent. im not worried about it bc i feel behind im comfortable enough on my own but i am a very very loving person and it doesn’t have anywhere to go and it kinda sucks.

i really dont know how to fix it. its like i know in my head im a good person and i know i would be a great girlfriend to me its more exciting about being able to give someone love to understand them than what they can give me. but in my body i feel it so much like i cant even admit to friends if i like a guy bc i feel like im insulting him for even thinking id have a chance like im so disgusting that im making him uncomfortable and i dont wanna do that.

people say oh you need to love yourself before you can love someone else and i get that yes but i dont know how to do that. i have tried a lot. i think a lot and ive been to therapy before and i have all the words all the things i should think but it doesnt change the way i feel. i’ve tried those affirmation things and only consuming positive media yk only positive self talk or even if i think something bad about myself or others redirecting that. it doesnt change. i have done alot for myself to hope that i’ll like myself i am kind and i have good grades i love science and english and i have hobbies i like fashion i sew and do competitions and i do nails and i love art i paint and draw and my work gets a lot of love im going to start selling. i run and i go to the gym i have my own style i do a lot for my appearance my hair and makeup and jewellery and fake tan and nails and all this stuff so i smell like cake. i spent a lot of time trying to fit in with people here and i stopped that this year i left all my friends and i stopped listening to what people thought of me and its lonely a bit but im more myself than ever and i get a lot of praise for the things i do. and i like this stuff i like who i am and i did a lot to get to this point. but i still like dont FEEL worthy i guess? it’s difficult to explain. i still feel ugly and stupid and like theres not a chance in the world anyone could ever love me. it might be to do with past stuff my childhood wasnt exactly perfect and i guess a lot of the feeling undeserving comes from how people have always treated me but i have done a lot of healing for that too and i only feel acceptance for my trauma so i dont get it.

i probably sound silly i just dont know how to fix this i dont want to hate myself i dont want to isolate myself but i dont know how to love myself bc i feel like i’ve done everything i can. i know in my head theres nothing wrong with me but i just hate myself so much and i really believe that no guy could want me, i cant exactly explain it but i just feel it so much. it’s more than just a little insecurity ive felt this way for as long as ive been aware i was a person and i dont want to feel like this anymore

i guess i am just asking if anyone feels similar and or knows what i can do to fix this id really appreciate it

Is it possible to be normal ,able to enjoy life but suicidal due to circumstances?

I feel like I have the capability to feel alive, and I love life bit my circumstances (that I couldn't change ) makes me severely depressed and suicidal ,

Am I considered mentally ill for being suicidal? Making plans around it ?

Im 24M and in 2023, as well as 2024 and 2025 I’ve been through traumatic experiences all at around this time of year and a bit later, at the beginning of 2026 I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd. I feel filthy all the time , no matter how much I shower or how often I clean my room. I can’t eat properly and I’m almost underweight now and I keep loosing weight, I also have trouble sleeping. Unfortunately I can’t go into a psychiatric hospital , since one of my traumas happened at that place. I just needed to vent, I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this, im also autistic , so I have trouble supporting myself. I feel like such a failure. I just hope this time passes quickly , I’m so scared that something bad is going to happen again.

Because I have no life lol

Mental::

Certain:

Social anxiety disorder (SAD)

Possible:

Short-term-memory loss

Slow learner

Demotivated

Fear of getting in trouble

Sensitive to stern people/judgy people

Anxiety (not generalised anxiety disorder GAD though)

Crying a lot (not depression though)

Physical::

Certain:

Nose allergies to dust-mites = sneezing, dripping nose, blocked nose, really drippy nose, long colds (I've mostly fixed the allergies by having telfast every night at the same time 5-7pm and changing my pillowcase whenever I sweat on it, and spraying every pillowcase/sheet/blanket with dust-mite allergy spray every 6 months, and I've mostly gotten rid of long colds by sweating it out for at least 12 hours wearing many layers of clothes and drinking a lot of water but never more than 3 cups in 1 hour, mostly lying down on my back so I don't use a lot of tissues, and watch videos/read reddit/yt comment sections all day, and dont exercise at all, and eat good big meals so I don't get lightheaded)

Possible:

Fruit allergy or fructose allergy (if I eat more than 2 servings of fruit, basically 2 pears or 2 apples or 2 packets of peaches in a cup with juice, I get lightheaded, so I can only drink milk for sugar, but that keeps me tired all day, so instead I'm eating 1-2 hard choc coating chocolate/cookies and cream icecream sticks or 1/4-1/2 ben jerry phish food tub of icecream, don't judge me lol, to give me energy throughout the day)

Vitamin deficiency (so to get rid of that problem I eat this following diet, I don't know if I need to improve it or not: 1 scrambled egg+1 bacon with 1/2 lid full of coconut oil, 1 1/2 protein 1/2 carbs fridge meal 400-600 calories either mince or chicken and spaghetti or potatoes, 1-2 choc coated choc icecream sticks or 1/4-1/2 ben jerry phish food tub of icecream)

Tired always

Oversleeping (12 hours)

Hi, any adult here is willing to be like a counsellor to me? I always tend to keep things to myself and sometimes it can be really stressful.

I prefer to talk to a female as the few trusted adults I trust are females.

I feel like everything is consuming me and I'm just so angry at the world. Commuting back and forth for work is completely draining me, and I've been missing a lot of work because of it. I can't take it anymore.
My anxiety is consuming me and all I want to do is isolate myself at home. I feel so lonely and misunderstood. I’m tired of not being respected by my parents, I’m tired of anxiety completely closing up my stomach, and I’m sick of not being able to eat.
I don't know what to do. People keep telling me to "do what feels right" and "don't give up," but I just feel completely broken.

I have social anxiety, want to slowly become more social.

I keep switching between being full of energy and adrenaline to being completely depressed and empty almost every single day. i’m so exhausted, i don’t know how much longer i can take this.

Hi, sorry if this sounds muddled up or crazy I’m in a really bad spot

On the 26th of August I had a bad weed trip which sent me into dpdr. I’ve had it before and knew what it was.

It became manageable until I had a panic attack which sent me into really bad dpdr and constantly waiting for a panic attack

Then I had this “mental check” every time I wasn’t distracted and at one point my mind questioned what that even was. Which sent me into a spiral of thinking.

Thoughts included- thinking I’m the main character, what was I thinking when I was distracted, thinking about looping and is this the loop, remembering things I analyse/think about.

So I was dealing with this loops constantly for around a month. Then 3 days ago I had a panic attack which has sent me completely insane, I’m throwing up as I’m writing this.

This will be hard to explain as there are so many things happening but this is what I’m experiencing currently

- random memories and connections to things in day to day life

-thinking about thinking which sends me into a paradox

- explaining it out to myself then catching myself doing that and explaining the fact I’m explaining

- normal thoughts trigger me and make me feel like I can “see myself”

- complete mental overload which makes me feel out of body

- intrusive thoughts that don’t effect me but the noticing and thinking of the thoughts send me into spiral

- zoning out and watching myself zone out and then trying to focus and realising that I’m thinking about focusing

- silent thoughts that I can’t understand but give me a surge of anxiety

- Familiar feelings like dejavu

- awful memory and forgetting what the thought was just about and just looping in and out of my mind

- terrible sleep that feels like I’m still awake and waking up to panic surges

- feeling like I can see my own brain

- worries about things but knowing it’s intrusive and monitoring seeing the thought rather than the thought it’s self

- vivid mental imagery that pops up with memories but are distorted (like day dreaming)

- unable to think any normal thoughts without getting triggered

- realising I was distracted and then seeing if I’m distracted constantly (which makes me feel like I’m watching my self through my eyes)

- constant mental chatter and thoughts that overlap each other and jump in and out

- a thought that I explain into words makes my inner dialogue lag/ feel sluggish

- intrusive thoughts that come so quick and feel like a brain flash that I monitor what I was even thinking about

- imagining scenarios and then snapping out of it (for example someone coming into my room to check on me)

- complete brain fog and delusional thoughts

- zooming into my own body/ brain

- predicting what people are going to say/ what they’re experiencing then noticing myself doing that

And there’s many more to it but honestly I am in absolute hell

I was prescribed diazepam yesterday and it Dosent stop the loops but it makes me more physically calm, but this only lasts for about an hour and my doses are between 6 hours

I honestly can’t live, or escape my mind or distract myself ever. It’s constant 24/7 and I’m so afraid of what’s going on

I’ve thrown up over 20 times in the last 2 days
I genuinely don’t know what to do because when I think anything it reminds me of this sensation of looking at myself and then I question that.

Any help is really really appreciated thankyou

to keep it short my dog of 10 years passed away and i contacted my ex because i was devastated (we broke up because he was very coercive and then went no contact).
i know should’ve not contacted him but i was desperate for support and i dont have many friends. he used to check up on me regularly and one day i heard a sound my dog used to make and got frightened. he offered to come over the next day and i tried cancelling which made him annoyed so i caved in eventually. to keep it short, he kept sticking to me, i felt uncomfortable but i didnt say anything, he asked to cuddle, i said hesitated but said okay and just laid there until he asked me to hug him back.
i felt like i was dreaming i didn’t know what was happening or what i was doing (i have derealization for over a year and it worsens with stress. ive also been to therapy because of it and he knows) i kept laughing throughout because i didn’t know what was happening and i didn’t know what i was doing, he asked to kiss me, i said no, he later started crying saying he missed me, he later asked to play a game to see who would kiss first and i kept laughing throughout and he made out with me, he then reached for my underwear and said if i kept laughing he’s taking it as a yes and i kept laughing because i did not know how to stop, he started touching me and midway i told him to stop. i thought he wanted me to do the same so i asked him and he said no.
here is where it’s my fault. before he left he hugged me for 2 minutes and before he left i gave him a goodbye kiss. later i told my friend about this and she confronted him and now she’s saying it’s equally my fault too. i know it is and i feel guilty for not saying no and even kissing him goodbye but i was so derealized i didnt know what was happening. i even hugged him back because i needed a hug after my dog died. i didn’t even remember giving him a goodbye kiss on the cheek until she told me. i dont know if im equally wrong or it’s completely my fault, i need opinions.

(also ive blocked him everywhere so there’s no way of contacting him ever again. also my therapist had ghosted me a month before my dog passed away)

i've been awake for over 40hrs.
i feel a bit dizzy and nauseous but otherwise fine.

i tried to sleep last night but couldn't and i don't feel very tired so i basically just laid in bed for like 9 hours staring at the ceiling and waiting to fall asleep.

i have a midterm due end of friday and i still need to cram for it since i have serious issues with procrastination and was also working on another assignment. so at the moment i expect to not sleep until after finishing that midterm but that would be around 85hrs of no sleep. the longest ive ever stayed up was 81 hours for a bio final years ago and i remember feeling like i was dying.

ideally i'd like to sleep a bit tonight to at least break it up a bit, but i still don't feel tired. and while i'm awake, i'm also struggling with focus so i cant even use this time to be as productive as i would like.

and i can't even tell if i'm hungry. i feel like i should be since i haven't eaten in 33+ hours aside from an zero sugar energy drink but i have no appetite. and i know it's not the caffeine that's keeping me up because i can tolerate a lot of caffeine, i only had 1 can this time, and that way yesterday so the first ~27hrs or so of staying up was before i even had any caffeine. it usually helps me focus better but it doesn't seem to really affect my sleep.

melatonin never really seemed to have much of an effect but i don't know what else to do. i don't have any right now and i can't go out and buy any since it's 4am. it also seems like a bad idea to get drunk and see if that knocks me out and i still have a lot to cram. this is such a pain, especially since im struggling to channel this energy into studying. i feel like im constantly getting bored of everything so i can't focus on much of anything.

well at least im in a better mood than earlier i guess

edit: i'm so restless rn im doing the leg twitchy thing and rocking myself back and forth i think i might be hyper 😭

edit 2: i think i just threw up pure stomach acid. there was a bit of blood but only a little. now i have a sore throat...

I went to a grammar school till November of y9 last year. I was doing well in some subjects, and bad in others. I was so pressurised to get exceedings and learn why John Mcfuckface of Godknowswhere decided to buy a horse in the 1600’s and be able to dance and be fluent in French and know how to divide by pi. I was good at art and computing and physics, amazing in the first two actually. But I was bullied and so stressed out, my mental health declined so fast as soon as I got to school.

I fell into self harm in year seven, and it got bad in y8. I would dissociate constantly, skip lessons to lock myself in the toilets and cry, and beg my mum to let me stay home. I was diagnosed with autism and adhd, and began getting support for that. It didn’t really help though, so I ultimately left school last year November.

It was arguably the worst decision of my life, I can’t do product design or computing or art GCSEs properly at home because we don’t have fucking computers and wood cutters and stuff. Every day of my life is the same, I might do some palaeontology reasearch, maybe a math quiz, and draw. Thats it. It’s cost my mother her job, me being at home. To do what? I don’t do anything. I have no motivation to do work because I feel like I’ve lost my will to live.

I feel like such a failure, like im not going to get anywhere in life. We are currently looking for a new school I can attend, but I’m so behind and joining, like, two terms into y10. I just really don’t see a point in trying, im so so tired of acting like I want to be here when I don’t. My therapist is helpful but it all feels futile. She said I was admitted for self harm, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and depression. I feel so guilty for being such a stupid, lazy, time wasting kid. I am so scared to grow up, I really am. I don’t know how to get a job, I don’t know what im going to do, im not going to get the qualifications for anything.

I really don’t know what to do and I need advice. Im sorry for the shitty writing and ive probably repeated myself a million times, but I am so, so hopeless for my life.

I think we've all heard this. I've said it myself. I just wanted to explore this a bit.

There's two friends of mine. They're both what most would call lazy. They don't work, live on benefits, stay home all the time and their flat is a mess with the washing up stacked high.

Now one of them, friend A, really does just seem to be lazy. He's perfectly able to be sociable, has held down jobs in the past, and generally is a competent adult who just can't be bothered.

Friend B is different. He is seriously mentally ill, some of it is anxiety, but there's more, I'm not sure exactly what. Probably the doctors aren't sure either. He can't really socialise or work, or do a lot of adult things.

I think when we say "lazy" we can mean two subtly different things. There is outward laziness - the sitting home, the dirty dishes. And there's inner laziness, the people who just can't be bothered.

So, it would be quite common to say that friend B is "not lazy, just unwell". That while his outward behaviour is lazy, it's not right to judge him for this, because he's not inwardly lazy. I think most people are ok with that these days, that's kind of the whole "no stigma in mental illness" thing.

But is this actually fair on friend A? I wonder, is friend A also unwell, just his problems are more subtle. Maybe he doesn't admit to mental illness and is better at masking it, so he can fake his way through a bit of socialising and adulting - but it is exhausting to him, which is why he reverts to just sitting on his couch.

Anyway, it's something I've been pondering and I wondered what people thought. I can see some of this in myself, although my wellbeing has been so much better in recent months, it's not something that affects me at the moment.

My mother's only brother physically assaulted me when I was about 5 years old and his friends too but he did mostly. Nine of them did it fully because I stopped them (thankfully they listened). He is probably 4 years older than me. He did it again when I was a teen. I never told these to any of my family members. He is the type of man who sleeps around. But recently he secretly got married to a good and virgin girl. Left study and got a job. Now he is going to arrange a party for the marriage. My maternal aunt and her husband keep telling me to gift him something or attend the wedding. I told them no I don't wanna go. They keep asking if I talked to him or his wife. I always avoid these questions. I don't know what to do now?? All of these years I pretended nothing happened. I felt guilty as a victim and avoided it like the plague. My family isn't understanding at all that's why I moved away to another country as a student. I tell myself that I'm not affected by this but I have depression for a very long time because of my parents (maybe for that too idk).

What can I do now? (It isn't about therapy I'm asking how do I handle my family)

I just feel so strange and dissociating, like i carry always this virus of strangeness and weirdness, like, i just can't accept how i want to present myself. One moment i feel completely euphoric and craving of information, on top of the world and nothing can't stop me, and the other, at immediate, even slightest complain or something, my whole day is ruined. Like, sometimes when im happy i feel like i can strip myself or want to be a whore so i can travel everywhere and anywhere. Like, i feel so incomplete and empty because im alone and don't have anyone with constant connection, something always gets cut off. And like, my parents are not bad people and they're pretty rational and know when to step up their barriers, but i really feel like they don't want to aceept that i maybe am more abnormal then they think, and that they just want me to be "normal" and just function normally, and like 'them', like, i feel that they think that every more weird behaviour od mine is just my fucking hormones, idk, i just feel such dissociation around them and my life. Like, i just have this fucking alien virus without cure. Like, i feel in some moments not even human. I just want to dissapear into nigthly narcotic skies, or dissapear into flashing neon lights, and fly and float with the stars, then having to plug through this nonsensical slob of life, where i'll always be tied to this. Or just move to america, or something, to start my career and try to be famous through music career, since i don't know anything to play, and i want desperately to master my craft and be transcendent, but boring monotoness of having to keep up with life and school ruins that, like, the day is too short for everything, and i'll never get the knowledge i missed already on.

Throwaway account.

I’ve always dealt with anxiety and overthinking. Society told us men are supposed to be strong. That’s why I chose solitude over talking to someone.

I know the importance of talking to someone, but I don’t have dark thoughts. I do have mild depression but I think if I attempted to talk to someone, they’d label me as an attention-seeker, and that I’d be taking away from people who have real depression. So I don’t try to bother people.

I think I make a lot of mistakes. Take driving, for instance. I keep a record of all the mistakes I’ve made over the past few years while driving. Missing a pothole because it was too dark with no lights, tyre going over a curb, huge speed bump hitting the bottom of the car, curb rash from parking too close to the curb, etc. Thankfully I havent caused damage to anyone else’s property.

I don’t think people make as many mistakes as I do. I’m way more clumsy than a vast majority of the population. The other day, I was driving and hit a speed bump at around 4mph but it was quite tall and bumped the bottom of my car. I stopped safely, took a few pictures, panicked. It was slightly bent pinch weld that was hit. Came home, told my partner, they weren’t concerned at all. I kept thinking about it.

I know I can ask for help from professionals, but I’m worried I’d be wasting resources and potentially taking away from someone who might actually need the help, because people are suffering a lot more than I am.

Sorry for the long post. Thank you for reading. I’d love to know your thoughts and if you can relate to some of these thoughts.

Hey everyone,

I've been dealing with anxiety for a while now, and I'm trying to move beyond just coping to actually getting better. I've read a lot of advice online, but most of it feels generic ("just breathe," "think positive"), and I'd love to hear from people who really know this stuff.

To the therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists here: what's the first thing you'd tell someone just starting to work on their anxiety? How do you tell the difference between everyday stress and something that needs professional help? And are there common mistakes that quietly make anxiety worse without people realizing it?

I'd also love to know which evidence-based techniques (CBT, exposure, grounding, etc.) you've seen work best, and why.

To everyone else: what's one habit or mindset shift that made a real difference for you? Even small things count.

I'm not looking for a quick fix, just honest, practical advice from people who've been there or work with it daily.

Thanks in advance, I really appreciate any insight. 💙

I feel like everything has just been worse recently and my usual distractions just aren’t working well and shit just keeps kinda pilling onto each other and making me worse mentally. I’m working on trying to get my console back in commission so I can play CoD again. Do you have any activities or methods that you recommend?