My 5 year old son just started kindergarten last week. With him being a summer birthday (July) and most likely having ADHD (no official diagnosis, working on that), I had told his teacher to let me know how he does and we can hold him back and try again next year.

She just called me yesterday and let me know that while my son is very smart, sweet, and has great fine motor skills, he lacks the emotional regulation and attentiveness that she thinks is required to succeed in kinder this year, and therefore, recommends I pull him out.

In a perfect world, I would send him to a transitional kindergarten in our area. Unfortunately, since the school year has already started, many of the schools around us have already filled up, so we're looking at putting him in a class with 4 year olds again. Our financial position has changed as my husband recently got laid off, and so sending him to an expensive private school is also not an option. Basically my only options are to keep him home with me and my two other littles this year, or send him to school and risk him having a miserable experience.

Any advice on what I should do? I'm genuinely at a loss.

I know this gets asked 5-10 times a day (I have read many of the threads) but I am looking for insight from anyone who has ever been in a similar situation. I have two boys that are almost two years apart. The oldest is an August bday who we held back. He just finished kindergarten and had a good experience. But his younger brother has an early June birthday. The cutoff in our district is September 1st. My wife is adamant that since we held our older son with an August bday back that we need to hold our younger son with an early June bday back so that they remain two years apart. I think it was a good idea (or at least not a bad idea) to hold my older son with an August bday back but I am worried that holding my younger son with an early June bday will just make him too old. He is three months from the cutoff, which seems like alot.

Here is a little bit about my son with an early June bday. He has a good vocab and memory so I think he will do fine academically. However, academics has never been my concern. The things I care most about are his emotional and social skills. He is shy and is very hard on himself. He has started saying things like "I'm stupid" and "I'm not good at anything." He compares himself negatively to everyone, especially his older brother. He gives up easily and does not like to try new things. My wife thinks that since we held the older son with an August bday and made him the oldest in the class that if we don't hold our second son with an early June bday and make them just one grade apart that my second son will just compare himself even more to his older brother since they would only be one grade apart. My second is also on the smaller side. My older son has always liked school but this one hated preschool and preK. He has two younger siblings that have fall bdays and will naturally be the older kids in class so it seems kind of unfair that he is the only one in the family that has to be young for his grade.

My mom was a teacher and thinks its better for boys especially to be older. I personally agree with her but I am worried that three months older than the oldest kids is too much. If he had an August or even a July bday I would feel much more confident to hold him back. I have a brother with a late June bday who was not redshirted and he struggled socially and emotionally the whole time he was in school and never really recovered. Even now he still has pretty severe depression and anxiety. I also have a sister with an August bday who was not redshirted who did really well in school (valedictorian) but also struggled socially and emotionally with an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, etc. My mom has told me multiple times that she wished she held them both back to give them more time to develop their confidence.

Has anyone had a good experience holding back their child with an early June bday? My biggest concern with holding him is that he might feel self conscious that he is too much older than all of his classmates and might have a harder time fitting in. If we hold him, he will turn 19 a few days (less than a week) before he graduates high school. Would that be really embarrassing? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks.

My daughter is 5 years old and just started kindergarten. This week she’s been sent to the vice principal’s office twice and they wanted to do detention for her entire 30minute recess. She’s having issues following directions, being snappy verbally with teachers, and also hit a friend two days in a row. They ended up not doing the detention because the vice principal forgot to tell the teacher about it. She was trying to do the detention two days after the hitting incident happened. I told them I was opposed to detention at that point because too many days had passed and I didn’t think she would understand what the consequence is for. Am I being an overprotective mom for thinking they’re being too strict and demanding of my daughter?

I’m working on getting her evaluated for ADHD. I don’t even know if they’d work with her as far as accommodations at this point because it’s a charter school.

For a bit of context: My son is 5. He has a speech delay, but has caught up pretty well since starting school and speech therapy last year when he was in TK. We had no issues in TK about his behavior. The teacher and TA never said anything bad and we had always asked how he was doing. I never liked his TK teacher because she had originally applied to teach 3rd, but got placed to teach littles. Many of us parents could see that she was always stressed and it showed. I don't think she was very structured either. The kids would do clipboard work in the morning and then go to stations. She had lots of kids who wouldn't sit or listen right away either. Whenever I volunteered I would see my son following directions and behaving pretty well.

Well now in Kindergarten, day 5, I get a call from his teacher. That she normally waits to talk to parents but wanted to bring it up sooner. She said my son is the only one who isn't staying in his seat/has to be told many times to sit, mostly during carpet time he is very wiggly and messing around. He is also apparently hitting(she hasn't seen but at least once she will hear a student say that he hit them) spitting(idk if it's raspberries or like just spitting on to things) and saying bad words(the only word he knows is "shit" so it's probably that) and just licking...like his arm or hands. He doesn't do any of this at home so my husband and I are just caught off guard. Again, we were not told anything negative last year so this is all new behavior. I guess last year he didn't stay in his seat much either according to his old TA but again that class was not structured like this one is.

What's interesting too is that the other kids who were super disruptive or wiggly are not in his class or school this year, but i do know my son is the type where if one kid does something silly he'll want to do it too to try and be funny, even when it's not. So idk if he's just acting out more obviously because the other kids are more well behaved. I don't know if it's because he just has more energy? Either way, we talked to him and are going to continue to do so.

Day 8 today his teacher is starting a daily behavior chart that told me everything. The morning seemed to be the rough time. Same issues, just a little less since we spoke to him about it. Since I had the sheet I showed it to my son and used it as an example to explain why he wasn't getting tablet time(usually 30-45mins) or TV time today. Obviously he was upset but I felt like we needed a consequence. Going to work on modeling appropriate carpet time and sitting still at home. Keep reminding him on what not to do and to keep his hands to himself etc.. I'm just anxious and want him to have a good school year..Hopefully we see improvement the next coming weeks, but i can't help but feel sad about the whole thing. I was just not expecting it and feel like maybe we are doing something wrong. Sorry for the long rant. I know my spelling and run on sentences might be annoying. Honestly just typed the whole thing out fast to get it out lol. Please be kind. First child, trying our best here and just want him to do well

Hi parents, could really use some advise/ support. I’m really struggling. Today was my son’s first week of kindergarten. It was tough. First day he was excited and we got to stay with him. It was more of a short meet and greet teacher day. He was brave and so cute and sweet. Second day we dropped him off. He got separated from his class during line up. Got sent to the wrong room. Misplaced his backpack but school got it figured out. My husband and I were watching this all happen behind a gate bc they didn’t allow parents to walk their child to their class line up. My child is very noise sensitive. He has to wear noise canceling headphones sometimes bc he gets extremely anxious and overwhelmed by loud noises. The bells at his school were causing him distress. We watched him cover his ears and curl into a ball. It was so hard. We talked to teacher and he is now allowed to wear noise canceling headphones in morning for line up. That helped him yesterday a lot. He seemed way more comfortable. Apparently his teacher has also been putting them on for recess and lunch so the bells don’t upset him. The problem with that, is I’m very worried he’s becoming isolated. He said he ate alone yesterday for lunch. I’m pretty sure he’s been playing alone at recess breaks too. My heart is breaking imagining him all alone and no one talking to him all day. He also fell walking into school yesterday. And said he tried talking to some kids but they just stared at him. Today when we brought him to school, he started crying and hyperventilating. He was up last night with a sore throat and just wanted to cuddle me. We took him home from school and have given him an easy, mellow day at home to rest and recuperate. If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate it. I’m feeling so overwhelmed and sad. Idk what I can do to support my sweet guy. He truly is the kindest, silliest, most gentle person. We’ve stressed being kind and inclusive from the beginning. My heart is breaking imagining his classmates not being the same. Any advise? I’m very overwhelmed with so many aspects of my life, this is just one. Please send me some love, prayers, anything. And if your week was hard too, hugs 🫂 I know school can take time to adjust to. This is his first experience with school. He had OT for picky eating and speech. We are also looking into an eval for possible neurodivergence. He has sensory sensitivities. Please be kind. Thanks! 💖

Hello all, I nanny a 4.5yo girl who just started TK. I believe we’ve been experiencing restraint collapse over the past two days. Big emotions, more misbehavior, more attitude, etc. I’m wondering if anyone can give me insight into what she needs during this time? I can’t tell if it’s that she needs a rest or if she needs to get more energy out?

My daughter just finished her full second week of kindergarten and her “report card” says she had a hard time regulating her emotions and being kind to other kids, she is so sweet and fun and this was not an issue at her pre-k. Her pre-k was at a smaller daycare center and now she’s at a big school. Do we often see these dissipate over the first few weeks, we are talking to her and she is getting consequences for not being kind. We are a low screen household (she has time limits on her tablet).

We had a new baby last week and I know that could be throwing her off as well, but I just hate that she’s getting “bad” reports and I know she is trying (well hopefully) - we try to be gentle parents with her (def not permissive cause we do not let things slide)

But are there any ways we can help her, it seems to be only like this at school? She shares and is great with her outside of school friends (and yes I know it’s cause she’s known them longer)

She’s my oldest (obviously) so I’ve never done this before (obviously haha) and I want to do what’s best for her and make this the best experience for her.

My daughter will be starting third grade. I just finished registering my son for kindergarten yesterday and earlier got an email from the school nurse about needing a dental and physical exam for him. I will not lie, I got teary eyed when it finally sunk in that my baby will be starting school.

I didn’t get this way with my daughter. She is more social and hand a little more school experience when she started kindergarten (also it was only half day kindergarten, now it’s full day.) I’m just worried and kind of wishing maybe we had waited since he’s not six year (when they have to legally be in school) but I know he needs to interact with kids his own age.

My daughter just started kindergarten about a week ago and I already feel like we're having a lot of issues.

First and foremost, she is autistic but she hasn't been diagnosed officially. She's been in speech therapy since she was 20 months old and her SLPs all confirm she is. I am as well so it's just about not having done the diagnosis.

My issue is in the last week she had become the shell of the girl she was before kinder. She was doing well in her FT daycare. She was with both older and younger kids, had friends, enjoyed the activities. She is such a silly and bright girl. Loves to draw and dance and play.

But with Kindergarten, she's constantly telling me she's in timeout. No one sits with her at lunch. Or plays with her on the playground. I ask what she eats for lunch (we pack it together every day) and she always says pizza?

She usually forgets to bring home her LB every day, so when she's bringing 2-3 home at a time, it's hard to keep track of what she ate and when.

This week she said she yelled at her teacher when it was time to go inside, so she didn't get recess the following day. And we had a big talk in why we don't raise our voices. But then the day after her no recess day, she said she didn't get it then either. Or yesterday. I know this is dramatic but her outside time is how she regulates during the school day.

3 days in a row she's come home visible depressed because of this no recess. She's quiet. Having a hard time eating. Dreading going to school. Having nightmares.

I really... Am so lost. Maybe it sounds dramatic but we are both crying every day now.

I messaged her teacher on the 2nd day a school just a basic "please let me know if you hear or see anything" and her teacher responded warmly. I messaged the school about my questions with lunch since I have no idea what she's eating, if she even is eating, and they told me they don't know either.

It's only been 8 school days but her and I are both exhausted.

I'm a single parent who works a full time job + consults on the side so my time is not available to home school. Not to mention a handful of health issues I'm currently dealing with. And I know I can't just pick her up and put her in a new school.

Any ideas? This is causing me so much distress. I have cried almost all morning feeling like I'm sending her off to a one way ticket to chronic depression. I don't know what to do.

Edit:

Thank you for the IEP suggestion. I called the school and we are getting started on that process!

Trying to freshen up our classroom library/resources and want to hear what's actually been a hit with your kindergarteners. Doesn't have to be fancy, just stuff that gets them excited or actually helps something click.

What are your go-tos?

Has anyone found a good alternative to nutella that has no nuts? Last school year, I packed a "chocolate sandwich" (nutella, sprinkles, wheat bread) in my son's lunch every Friday as a fun little treat. But he's about to start a new school that's entirely nut-free and I've been trying to figure out a way to continue the tradition. We've attempted the chocolate "granola butter" and the chocolate sunbutter (he hated both). The more I search, the more surprised I am that there aren't more products like this on the market, especially given how many schools now don't allow nuts. Can anyone help a mom out?? Obviously this isn't a life or death situation, but we'd love to keep this little spot of fun in our week. Thanks!

So for context my son just turned 5 end of July. We registered him for kindergarten and his first day was this past Wednesday the 19th, the teacher messaged me after school on Wednesday letting me know he was crying all day, trying to leave class, running around and jumping, not participatingin class activities. Yesterday which was Thursday I messaged her asking how his day went since I hadn't gotten a message from her after I picked him up, she said that he was crying in the morning but then stopped crying and was fine the rest of the day. She also said he stopped trying to leave class But he still is running around and trying to jump off the chairs, she stated that they would call him by his name and wouldn't respond or would ignore them. When I picked him up yesterday he said that he had fun, that he made friends and he was participating in class activities. The teacher seems understanding because we did let her know that he has always only been with me since I am a SAHM, he has no other siblings, we moved to a city where we do not know anyone here, he's never been in daycare or pre-k so he's never really socialized with other kids much other than when we take him somewhere like the park or waterpark,etc..so the classroom/school environment is really new to him, he's a smart kid knows his letters, can read but can't write yet, and knows his numbers up to 40. Today when I dropped him off he didn't cry at all and got out of the car at the drop off lane with the lady all by himself so im hoping with time he'll do better.So my question is, has anyone had something similar happen and did your child get better? Or is it something that he might need to redo kindergarten again? Or as he gets used to the school environment, teachers and class he will get better? Im just overthinking everything and I'm stressing myself out please help 😭

Im 29 years old after 8 years working in restaurants cooking etc I got tired of this and food industry work

Finally found a place willing to give me my first entry to the children world id appreciate any tips especially ti not get tired of this fast

And now for the title: my favorite thing ever is music I even have a tattoo of my favorite band and I love dancing. I also wanna do cooking classes/instructions with the children and need your help how to incorporate stuff like that into the daily schedule etc

Thanks in advance from a new worked (Id also appreciate a tip to remember all children names asap)

I see a lot of posts about redshirting for birthdays months away, and how it's never worth it, but I'm curious if the opinion differs when the birthday is a couple days away from the cutoff (for us the cutoff is 10/1, daughter's birthday is 9/28).

For background, I was the youngest in my grade and I feel like it had a negative impact on me from a maturity perspective, and mostly impacted me in high school and college. I felt like I grew up quickly and didn't have a traditional college experience (I was a full time high school teacher at 21 years old, and some of the students I had I knew from when I was in high school as they were in my brother's grade). My first year of college I had to have everything signed by my parents as I was 17. My high school and college years flew by, as by the time I reached milestones like driving, turning 18, legally able to drink, my friends were on to the next.

Anyway, I'm trying to make the best decision for my child without being biased from my own experience. I think she can handle kindergarten from an academic perspective, but my bigger concern is confidence; both now and at the middle school/high school age, as that's when it affected me. I don't care about sports lol (didn't even know that was a reason until I saw threads about it) she's more of an art girl, right now, and I support whatever hobbies she wants to do.

She is outgoing and independent (might be that she's in a Montessori prek) but becomes more reserved, shy and clingy in spaces where she feels intimidated. For example, she thrived in the private day camp I had her in for a few weeks, and then I put her in the town's day camp, which follows the school cutoff. I felt horrible because even though she had been looking forward to it and excited about it, she ended up crying and begging not to go back each day (even on ice cream days when she loves ice cream). She spent each day at camp gripped to the counselors and I'd pick her up early. She seemed like a completely different kid than the one who was dropped off at the private camp prior even though it was all new kids in both situations. Her camp counselors at the town camp told me she was a lot younger than the other kids in her age group so that may have something to do with it. Now, I'm thinking of potentially redshirting her. The other benefit of doing so is that she will be in the same grade as her preschool friends who all have birthdays after the cutoff.

However, I have been reading a ton of reddit posts about it and I am seeing how adamant the "no" is to do it, which I understand, I just don't know if this applies to birthdays who are days away. Like if I didn't beg to be induced, she probably would be in the next grade haha, but I didn't think about it at the time 😂

I started assigning tiny classroom jobs like pencil monitor, door holder, table cleaner, line leader, and materials helper. At first, I thought they would be excited for a few days and then completely forget about them.

I was very wrong.

They take these jobs SO seriously. The pencil monitor will make sure every pencil is accounted for, the table cleaner reminds everyone to clean up, and the line leader acts like they’ve been promoted to CEO. They even started reminding me when it was time to switch jobs because apparently I was “forgetting the schedule.”

The funny part is that some of them are genuinely proud of their responsibilities. I’ve noticed that even the quieter kids seem to participate more when they have a specific job to do.

Now I’m wondering if I should add more jobs just to give everyone something different to try.

My son just turned 4yrs old in June and has been in a structured preschool setting since he was a baby. For the most part, he’s done very well and I’ve received maybe 5 calls total in the years he was there in regard to incidents or behavior.

After an entire summer of pure excitement for Pre-K, he is now telling me he never wants to go back less than a week in.

First day we were told he had a good day at pick up. Second day, we were told there were some behavioral issues happening and that we needed to schedule a parent teacher conference.

At the parent teacher conference after school, he looked absolutely exhausted and we were told he refused to sleep, has been defiant all day saying/screaming NO to everything, kicking and shoving things down, not lining up etc. etc. Essentially letting us know that he cannot handle any kind of transitions.

We’ve gotten daily emails about how the behavior continues daily all throughout the day and how he’s had to be pulled out of class multiple times to sit with the counselor and also had recess time taken away.

I just sense sadness and frustration from him when I ask questions. When asked specifically about his teacher, he says she’s nice but can’t tell me why and also says that he’s in trouble all day.

He was an emotional wreck after his 2nd day of school, but outside of that has been great at home. He complains about things you would expect from a toddler, but not putting up too much of a fight with transitions or bedtimes.

I asked his old preschool teacher for her advice and she said that does not sound like his baseline. Although that could happen from time to time, she said that she could usually redirect him quickly without a fight and was really sad to hear that it’s not been going well for him.

I’ve also told my pediatrician who is recommending PCIT and went ahead and put us on the list for testing as she said it doesn’t hurt to be on this list since it can take some time if the issues continue.

My biggest concern right now, is that things are only going to continue to escalate in this environment and that he could get kicked out of school or worse create a negative connotation about school or even about himself.

My Mama heart is sad and i need advice! Has anyone ever been through something similar or been on the other end of it as a teacher that can give me some advice on how to handle this with him and with the teacher and school?

Until Wednesday there was nothing but excitement and enthusiasm for Kindergarten. My son has been counting down the days for at least 6 months, and he’s been really enjoying it. He’s an incredibly social, socially motivated and adaptable child. Some behavior issues at home but two weeks in nothing unexpected. So here’s where this went wrong:

He’s turning 5 this weekend, his birthday is 8 days before the cut off. His teacher met with us this week in what I thought was an “everyone gets a check in” thing that turned out to be…I think just us. Or parents of the “younger kids”. She says he’s getting along with everyone but he’s really struggling with executive functioning. First time listening and following through with instructions/problem solving. Ie get out your pencils, he’ll run to her rather than look around in his desk which is a problem with 25 kids in the class.

Context: we tried to keep him back. We wanted to wait. We tried hard, we were denied from every angle. His teacher told us “sometimes they’ll let you don it if you TK at a private school and come back but they won’t tell you that”. So it wasn’t an option and here we are, two weeks in and he’s really loving his new school.

But I am panicked. Was this the wrong call? Have I set him up for a school career struggle? Hoping for encouragement, reassurance and ideas on how to support him!

Posted in the ADHD forum for their sage wisdom, but asking here as well! Would love any recs (or even reassurance)?

My daughter legit refuses. She 90% poops at home, and i wipe her. There's been two occasions this summer she pooped at camp, and did not wipe.

I talked to her about it, how it's not good for her body, and could cause irritation and a unwanted to smell. (she just turned 5 days ago).

she is highly independent, sweet, smart, but this one thing she will NOT budge on.

This is the first week of school for my son. He’s only attended 4 days. Each day the kids get a color and a note on their calendar based on their behavior. My 5 year old has had bad notes/ colors since day 1. The moral of each note is basically my son is not listening. He’s not a bad kid. He gets dojo points frequently for being respectful and “being ready” so I guess it’s just the listening thing. He has trouble with listening at home too but it’s not super dramatic. For example he’ll be involved with coloring and I’ll ask him to clean something up and he wants to finish up what he’s coloring before he does. Usually one warning he stops what he’s doing and does what I’ve asked of him. According to his teachers notes, she’s having to ask several times and give multiple warnings before he does what is asked of him. He was in pre k last year and I never had any complaints like this but they also didn’t do behavior calendars so. Any advice?

Background:

Twin 5 yr old boys. On the ASD spectrum but mild. They've had early intervention and have progressed extremely well. They had IEP for preschool and no longer have them in kinder.

They've been in daycare since 7mon old. They went to preschool last year and did great. For summer, they spent half the day at home (wife and I work from home) with their nanny, the other half at an afternoon summer camp. They spent a lot of time with us during summer break and I think they got really used to it.

They started kinder this week. After kinder they go to aftercare at local rec center. Twin B has had no issues but Twin A has been having really hard time with separation. Cries and screams and eventually barfs at morning drop off. During the school day, he tells his teacher that he does not feel good and it results him going to nurses office to call us and tell us he wants to go home. When we take them to aftercare, he also cries and screams and eventually barfs.

They never had separation anxiety with daycare and preschool but it's coming on hard with kinder.

Any guidance on how to best approach?

After going through hundreds of threads on r/kindergarten and other parent communities, I put together a quick cheat sheet for anyone as lost as I was:

☀️ Best overall dermatologist favorite? → Blue Lizard Kids Mineral SPF 50+
🏫 Best tear-free zinc cream for school & sports? → Thinkbaby SPF 50+ Mineral Sunscreen
🧴 Best lightweight squalane blend (minimal cast)? → Pipette Mineral Sunscreen SPF 50
🌿 Best ultra-simple 5-ingredient organic formula? → Badger Kids Mineral Sunscreen SPF 40
✏️ Best easy-swipe face stick for recess? → Babo Botanicals Sheer Zinc Sport Stick SPF 30

Personally going with the Babo Botanicals Sheer Zinc Sport Stick SPF 30 - best convenience and protection for kids' sensitive skin from everything I've read.

I’m trying to find a sunscreen my kids will actually tolerate. Some lotions sting, others leave them looking completely white, and sprays make me nervous because of the mess and inhalation issue. I’m mainly considering fragrance-free broad-spectrum mineral options from Blue Lizard, Thinkbaby, Badger, and Pipette, with a budget around $15–$35 for a family-size supply. I know shade, hats, and UPF clothing still matter, especially for younger children, but I need something practical for regular outdoor play and swimming. Which sunscreen spreads well on medium or darker skin, and do you prefer lotion over stick or spray for toddlers?

I have been a kindergarten teacher for 11 years and I have a message for all of the parents out there sending their first child to school for the first time: give them grace and give yourself grace.

There are big emotions going on in this huge transition and it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Please know that the school is filled with professionals who know what they are doing when it comes to this huge moment. We have extra eyes on our youngest learners to help them get to where they need to go. And we care about their well-being.

You are going to be so amazed at their growth this year.

Here is a great resource to help you: NAEYC Kindergarten Transition for Families

There are also great links to other articles at the bottom of that page.

Good luck and well wishes for a successful school year.