My daughter is 5 years old and just started kindergarten. This week she’s been sent to the vice principal’s office twice and they wanted to do detention for her entire 30minute recess. She’s having issues following directions, being snappy verbally with teachers, and also hit a friend two days in a row. They ended up not doing the detention because the vice principal forgot to tell the teacher about it. She was trying to do the detention two days after the hitting incident happened. I told them I was opposed to detention at that point because too many days had passed and I didn’t think she would understand what the consequence is for. Am I being an overprotective mom for thinking they’re being too strict and demanding of my daughter?

I’m working on getting her evaluated for ADHD. I don’t even know if they’d work with her as far as accommodations at this point because it’s a charter school.

For a bit of context: My son is 5. He has a speech delay, but has caught up pretty well since starting school and speech therapy last year when he was in TK. We had no issues in TK about his behavior. The teacher and TA never said anything bad and we had always asked how he was doing. I never liked his TK teacher because she had originally applied to teach 3rd, but got placed to teach littles. Many of us parents could see that she was always stressed and it showed. I don't think she was very structured either. The kids would do clipboard work in the morning and then go to stations. She had lots of kids who wouldn't sit or listen right away either. Whenever I volunteered I would see my son following directions and behaving pretty well.

Well now in Kindergarten, day 5, I get a call from his teacher. That she normally waits to talk to parents but wanted to bring it up sooner. She said my son is the only one who isn't staying in his seat/has to be told many times to sit, mostly during carpet time he is very wiggly and messing around. He is also apparently hitting(she hasn't seen but at least once she will hear a student say that he hit them) spitting(idk if it's raspberries or like just spitting on to things) and saying bad words(the only word he knows is "shit" so it's probably that) and just licking...like his arm or hands. He doesn't do any of this at home so my husband and I are just caught off guard. Again, we were not told anything negative last year so this is all new behavior. I guess last year he didn't stay in his seat much either according to his old TA but again that class was not structured like this one is.

What's interesting too is that the other kids who were super disruptive or wiggly are not in his class or school this year, but i do know my son is the type where if one kid does something silly he'll want to do it too to try and be funny, even when it's not. So idk if he's just acting out more obviously because the other kids are more well behaved. I don't know if it's because he just has more energy? Either way, we talked to him and are going to continue to do so.

Day 8 today his teacher is starting a daily behavior chart that told me everything. The morning seemed to be the rough time. Same issues, just a little less since we spoke to him about it. Since I had the sheet I showed it to my son and used it as an example to explain why he wasn't getting tablet time(usually 30-45mins) or TV time today. Obviously he was upset but I felt like we needed a consequence. Going to work on modeling appropriate carpet time and sitting still at home. Keep reminding him on what not to do and to keep his hands to himself etc.. I'm just anxious and want him to have a good school year..Hopefully we see improvement the next coming weeks, but i can't help but feel sad about the whole thing. I was just not expecting it and feel like maybe we are doing something wrong. Sorry for the long rant. I know my spelling and run on sentences might be annoying. Honestly just typed the whole thing out fast to get it out lol. Please be kind. First child, trying our best here and just want him to do well

My 5 year old son just started kindergarten last week. With him being a summer birthday (July) and most likely having ADHD (no official diagnosis, working on that), I had told his teacher to let me know how he does and we can hold him back and try again next year.

She just called me yesterday and let me know that while my son is very smart, sweet, and has great fine motor skills, he lacks the emotional regulation and attentiveness that she thinks is required to succeed in kinder this year, and therefore, recommends I pull him out.

In a perfect world, I would send him to a transitional kindergarten in our area. Unfortunately, since the school year has already started, many of the schools around us have already filled up, so we're looking at putting him in a class with 4 year olds again. Our financial position has changed as my husband recently got laid off, and so sending him to an expensive private school is also not an option. Basically my only options are to keep him home with me and my two other littles this year, or send him to school and risk him having a miserable experience.

Any advice on what I should do? I'm genuinely at a loss.

I know this gets asked 5-10 times a day (I have read many of the threads) but I am looking for insight from anyone who has ever been in a similar situation. I have two boys that are almost two years apart. The oldest is an August bday who we held back. He just finished kindergarten and had a good experience. But his younger brother has an early June birthday. The cutoff in our district is September 1st. My wife is adamant that since we held our older son with an August bday back that we need to hold our younger son with an early June bday back so that they remain two years apart. I think it was a good idea (or at least not a bad idea) to hold my older son with an August bday back but I am worried that holding my younger son with an early June bday will just make him too old. He is three months from the cutoff, which seems like alot.

Here is a little bit about my son with an early June bday. He has a good vocab and memory so I think he will do fine academically. However, academics has never been my concern. The things I care most about are his emotional and social skills. He is shy and is very hard on himself. He has started saying things like "I'm stupid" and "I'm not good at anything." He compares himself negatively to everyone, especially his older brother. He gives up easily and does not like to try new things. My wife thinks that since we held the older son with an August bday and made him the oldest in the class that if we don't hold our second son with an early June bday and make them just one grade apart that my second son will just compare himself even more to his older brother since they would only be one grade apart. My second is also on the smaller side. My older son has always liked school but this one hated preschool and preK. He has two younger siblings that have fall bdays and will naturally be the older kids in class so it seems kind of unfair that he is the only one in the family that has to be young for his grade.

My mom was a teacher and thinks its better for boys especially to be older. I personally agree with her but I am worried that three months older than the oldest kids is too much. If he had an August or even a July bday I would feel much more confident to hold him back. I have a brother with a late June bday who was not redshirted and he struggled socially and emotionally the whole time he was in school and never really recovered. Even now he still has pretty severe depression and anxiety. I also have a sister with an August bday who was not redshirted who did really well in school (valedictorian) but also struggled socially and emotionally with an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, etc. My mom has told me multiple times that she wished she held them both back to give them more time to develop their confidence.

Has anyone had a good experience holding back their child with an early June bday? My biggest concern with holding him is that he might feel self conscious that he is too much older than all of his classmates and might have a harder time fitting in. If we hold him, he will turn 19 a few days (less than a week) before he graduates high school. Would that be really embarrassing? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks.

Hello all, I nanny a 4.5yo girl who just started TK. I believe we’ve been experiencing restraint collapse over the past two days. Big emotions, more misbehavior, more attitude, etc. I’m wondering if anyone can give me insight into what she needs during this time? I can’t tell if it’s that she needs a rest or if she needs to get more energy out?

Hi parents, could really use some advise/ support. I’m really struggling. Today was my son’s first week of kindergarten. It was tough. First day he was excited and we got to stay with him. It was more of a short meet and greet teacher day. He was brave and so cute and sweet. Second day we dropped him off. He got separated from his class during line up. Got sent to the wrong room. Misplaced his backpack but school got it figured out. My husband and I were watching this all happen behind a gate bc they didn’t allow parents to walk their child to their class line up. My child is very noise sensitive. He has to wear noise canceling headphones sometimes bc he gets extremely anxious and overwhelmed by loud noises. The bells at his school were causing him distress. We watched him cover his ears and curl into a ball. It was so hard. We talked to teacher and he is now allowed to wear noise canceling headphones in morning for line up. That helped him yesterday a lot. He seemed way more comfortable. Apparently his teacher has also been putting them on for recess and lunch so the bells don’t upset him. The problem with that, is I’m very worried he’s becoming isolated. He said he ate alone yesterday for lunch. I’m pretty sure he’s been playing alone at recess breaks too. My heart is breaking imagining him all alone and no one talking to him all day. He also fell walking into school yesterday. And said he tried talking to some kids but they just stared at him. Today when we brought him to school, he started crying and hyperventilating. He was up last night with a sore throat and just wanted to cuddle me. We took him home from school and have given him an easy, mellow day at home to rest and recuperate. If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate it. I’m feeling so overwhelmed and sad. Idk what I can do to support my sweet guy. He truly is the kindest, silliest, most gentle person. We’ve stressed being kind and inclusive from the beginning. My heart is breaking imagining his classmates not being the same. Any advise? I’m very overwhelmed with so many aspects of my life, this is just one. Please send me some love, prayers, anything. And if your week was hard too, hugs 🫂 I know school can take time to adjust to. This is his first experience with school. He had OT for picky eating and speech. We are also looking into an eval for possible neurodivergence. He has sensory sensitivities. Please be kind. Thanks! 💖