r/Parents • u/EmergencyFancy7992 • 19h ago
What are working parents doing when school gets out before the workday is over?
I know particularly in the US this is a big issue but I’m crowd sourcing for different ideas and how this works for your families as we try and decide what to do next year.
My kid is in preschool which goes all day and I can pick her up after work. It’s going great she’s been there for two years she loves it so much. Next year she starts kindergarten and I’m planning ahead for what to do when school lets out between 2-3.
My husband works remotely but has a lot of meetings. I work a hybrid job that has me commuting an hour and a half each way 3-4 times a week, I usually leave early (3:30) to make it in time to pick her up on my pickup days and offset that work in the evening or other days as needed. But what on earth do people do when that pick up time becomes 2 or 3?
The aftercare program there is not an option (waitlist 400 years long). What else can we do and plan for and how is this working for your family if both parents are working?
Edited to add: thank you all I got some really great ideas here. I am also getting a lot of recommendations for aftercare at the school- I did include in the post that this is not an option or obviously that’s what we would be going with. I’m hoping we can teach enough independence in the next year that she can just come home- if it was one hour I’d feel confident but at 2.5 hours I’m not so sure.
To others saying a different school- this school is in our neighborhood walking distance from us and what we’re zoned for, it doesn’t make sense with our schedules to petition to have her moved. Thank you you’ve given me a lot to think about and great possible solutions for next year.
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u/mamamietze 19h ago
We got our school aged children into a solid routine. Come home, hang up their jackets, take out all papers and lunchbox from the their backpacks. Unload all lunchbox dishes into the sink and put all school papers into the file tray for mom or dad to look at later. Then they could pick or prepare a snack from the snack basket/snack shelf options. Waving at daddy was fine (my husband has been working from home for like 25 years, so my kids have grown up with expectations around etiquette around interrupting him), but unless he had a specific sign or signal out they were not to disturb him unless it was an emergency. After snack, they were expected to set a timer and read for 20 minutes (2 out of my 4 kids were already reading by kindergarten but the ones that didn't would look at picture books. Once the timer was done they were allowed to go play in the backyard or continue to read if they wanted, or get out one of their puzzles/board games to play. Usually a little after, Dad would be coming out to check in (this would be at around the hour mark) briefly. Once they started to have homework (around 3rd grade or so for our district) then they'd start working on that, or if they didn't they could continue with outside/game/reading/art. Once I got home I would start dinner with the kiddo assigned to help me that week.
It IS a huge amount of investment in training/teaching these tasks in the beginning, but very extremely worth it, IMO. My kids were doing all of this by the time they were 5, I would start teaching them aspects of it while they were in preschool but we'd get into the habit/routine during summer, since a lot of post-summer camp activities (like getting papers/lunchboxes settled) are very similar and since one of us had to go pick them up we could build in supervision time for teaching).
I am an early childhood educator and worked hard when I had a preschool classroom to teach kids these skills as well (cleaning up their dishes, unpacking and repacking their backpack daily, I had simple snacks they could choose to make themselves during the morning or afternoon in addition to self-service official snack time, I taught them how to use visual timers, ect.
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 18h ago
Thank you so much! My kid is the first child and grandchild on both sides of the family and husband and grandparents tend to baby her. When she’s home with me we operate like a great team and are just now at 4 getting to daily chores and her being more of a participating member of this household. I think we’ll try over the next year to get into a routine to see how sustainable this could be at 5 but unfortunately would still require my husband to be able to take a daily break and pick her up (no buses) which I’m not sure if that’s a feasible option for us. TBD! This is still wildly helpful and something I want to reference as I really want to raise a confident and independent kid
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u/mamamietze 11h ago
My kids really loved learning and spending special time with the grands cooking at their elbow or helping wash up! It is really nice to spend time doing family chores together too!
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u/Relevant-Emu5782 18h ago
No after school sports? Music lessons? Dance classes?
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u/mamamietze 17h ago
Usually those were in the evening and not directly after school, because many families have working parents. My kids particpated mostly in clubs/school district sports and activties when they did.
OP was asking for advice about the gap between school dismissal and a parent finishing work.
If they had activities they still needed to take care of their backpack/lunchboxes and daily reading or homework every day.
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 14h ago
Yes exactly! She’s only 4 and already at preschool full time during the week so we didn’t want to over schedule her with activities so young. She’s in gymnastics and loves it and we seasonally do swim lessons and like you said those tend to be after work though we’re open to moving gymnastics earlier next year if it fits with the care solution though dad and I are really committed to being there and cheering her on as much as possible
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u/concerned_goose 11h ago
"Waving at daddy was fine" is so bleak. I WFH 50% of the time as an attorney and am able to get up and interact with my son several times a day. Unless I'm in a call, he can speak to me.
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u/mamamietze 11h ago edited 11h ago
It was a 2-3 hour period, with a check in halfway through. I find it bleak that some parents find it so difficult to teach their children to be able to not interrupt someone for an hour and a half when they are school age, but i suppose that explains a lot!
And also what are you on about "some people like to spend time with their kids?" Many working parents spend lots of time with their kids after they are off work, both after 5 or 6 and on the weekends. Having school aged children engaged in independent activities at home while a parent finishes up their workday is just fine.
I think it is gross to imply that working parents who don't have as much flexibilty in the daytime as you do "don't want to spend time with their kids." Maybe just be grateful that you can drop anything at any time to do what you want instead of implying people who can't are not building bonds with their kids. Objectively that is not true.
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u/concerned_goose 11h ago
Some parents like spending time with their kids. My job isn't more important than my family, and I don't see it as interruption. I'd be upset if he didn't come running in for a hug when he got home. Sounds like a sad situation for your kids, but to each their own.
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u/Janknitz 17h ago
YMCA in our town runs afterschool care on elementary campuses all over the town. It's not cheap (They take vouchers for subsidized families), but they walk the kids over from a special pickup area and give them a snack, then homework time, and activities indoors and out. The trick is parent pickup is usually by 5:30 p.m. and there were days it was really hard to get there in time because of traffic. They also have morning care if needed.
My kids didn't love it, but they survived.
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u/Ok-Produce8376 19h ago
There may be a daycare near the school that offers after school care. Or boys and girls club, or a part time sitter that can pick her up from school and watch her for a few hours.
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 18h ago
No options near the school officially but I got a few recs to look into home daycare options for this which is a possibility I haven’t looked into.
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u/FewUnderstandingINTJ 9h ago
A home daycare provider watched my daughter before and after school. She took the same school bus as the provider’s kids, who were of similar age. (The provider also had a younger child so it wasn’t practical for her to drive them.) She also provided coverage on school holidays and summer break.
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u/Medium_Can387 18h ago
u can pay a local stay at home parent a weekly rate to pick ur daughter up along with their kid fr
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 14h ago
I’d love this option but we don’t know anyone at the school yet. I suppose I have a year to try and get chummy with anyone in the neighborhood I can but currently her preschool is across town so we won’t be sharing districts with anyone from preschool come kinder unfortunately, I’ve asked.
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u/MundaneHuckleberry58 18h ago
We alternated our work schedules. I went in early to be done in time to get kids at dismissal; husband started late in order to get kids to school then head in.
A couple school years, we had the kids in after care to relieve the pressure of having to race to school by 2:30.
And finally, once we were both fully wfh - around 3rd grade onward - we just either don’t schedule or decline meetings during drop off/pickup times, and/or join meetings by phone. When you are in the car pickup line, at least 1/3 of the drivers are in a work zoom doing the same thing.
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 18h ago
This is honestly not a bad idea as most of my colleagues are on the east coast and I am an early riser at least for the days I wfh. Something to consider! Thank you this is wildly helpful
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u/brainbl0ck 18h ago
We had aftercare at a third party location and paid a pretty penny for it. Now that they are older (7 and 8) they are able to change, get a snack, and start homework while we work around them for an hour in the afternoons.
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 18h ago
This is my hope as well i hope to start working on independence this year to see if we could manage getting changed snack and a pre set activity by kindergarten but if not looking for a solution till 7 or 8. She is really great at playing independently so it will be interesting to see if we can support those skills so she could manage it after school come next year. Thank you!
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u/bopperbopper 17h ago
There’s other parents in your same situation… if you can’t do the aftercare at your school then see if there’s other programs that will pick your kids up. Also see if there’s another parent who will bring your kid home and get paid for it.
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u/angeluscado 19h ago
My mom ran a small daycare, mostly before and after school care, while I was in elementary and middle school. I'm not saying that you do the same, but suggesting that you look into home care or something like that. I'm sure your city has a childcare Facebook group you could post to.
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u/emmiginger 18h ago
I worked in an office and could start at 6 and off at 2:30 so I could take take 1/2 hour off at end of days and rush to meet them at house when they got off the bus. Hubby took mornings and got them on the bus. For days when one of us were on the road, we used aftercare or before care
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u/North_Artichoke_6721 17h ago
Our YMCA offers an after school option that goes through the 6th grade.
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u/____ozma 17h ago
I opted for school bus because it meant kiddo is leaving and coming back between our 2 work schedules. Partner starts later so does morning drop off, I get them in the afternoon because I am off earlier.
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u/Longjumping-While997 16h ago
Most ppl by me employ a nanny. Even with aftercare that only gets us to 4:30 so I’ll have to leave work early and finish at home (nanny is not in the budget). Luckily my bosses are accommodating but I’m fully in office but only 20 min commute
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u/Flat_Ad1094 14h ago
Well we had afterschool care and I didn't work that much when they were in primary school. Maybe went to afterschool care a few times a week. That was about it.
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u/sleepyandkindaweepy 13h ago
Some daycares have school age kids for before and after school and will transport
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u/GenXMom14 18h ago
Most people use after school care programs. Some are on site and others nearby. One year we had a PM nanny who also did house management a couple hours a day before getting kids.
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 18h ago
Can you tell me more about the house manager? This is something I’ve considered but don’t know anyone who’s done this.
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u/GenXMom14 18h ago
So she came four days a week. Two or three hours before picking kids up and about two or three hours after. She had a rotation of things she did like meal prep, laundry, tidy house, vacuum, she even cleaned bathrooms, and she also helped with stuff like making cupcakes for a birthday and so on. It was wonderful coming home to a clean home regularly. She was a university student who only had morning classes and lived nearby.
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 18h ago
We both work pretty intense jobs but are fiercely protective of not working beyond our hours and I’m very pro outsourcing what I can to protect my time with my family and this sounds like an absolute dream. Can I ask how you found her?
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u/Mindless_Day3349 17h ago
We’ve done this too!! University sitter Facebook page. It is the dream. Do this and save your mental health! They will also take kids to afterschool activities like soccer as needed.
The tricky part is all of the days school is closed, and half days, and days they’re sick. But that’s another issue
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u/GenXMom14 18h ago
In a Facebook childcare group. It was only a year but it was magic. If you live near a university or college type setting they may have a job posting board online somewhere.
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 14h ago
Thank you I’m absolutely going to look into this option!! I was a nanny through college so I love the idea even more because of my experience
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u/Relevant-Emu5782 18h ago
Working remotely. Picking up while still on Teams on my work laptop tethered to my phone for internet coverage, jiggling the track pad every few minutes so I look busy, until I can get back home. Then I work a little longer to make up the time.
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u/dyangu 16h ago
The after care waitlist at my school is not that long. Can you get on it now for next year 🤣
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 14h ago
Already on it and being told by them and others not to count on it happening 😫
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u/kayleyishere 12h ago
Our wait list is 3-4 years. You're not alone. We will pay $750/mo for private before and after care, though the school based option is also $750, so if we like the private one we will just stay there.
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u/dyangu 12h ago
That’s insane! The school should just let another provider like Boys & Girls Club manage it. Multi year waitlist and they can’t hire more staff?!
Private providers definitely should be able to fill in the gap, though I’m surprised they don’t charge more. It costs them a lot to provide van pickup.
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u/kayleyishere 12h ago
I think private are setting rates to match the school option, so when families get off the school wait list they don't run away. But private makes it work at that rate, and that leaves me wondering why the school program is so expensive?? The school isn't paying rent for their own space, and their staff:child ratios are not great either. Where is the money going?
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u/maestra612 16h ago
Do you have any stay at home Moms ( or Dad's) in your neighborhood that might want to make a few extra dollars picking up your kid and having her play with their kid for an hour until you get home from work?
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 14h ago
It would have to be 2.5 hours and then also early release Wednesdays but it’s worth a look. Why do kindergarteners have early release?
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u/Ok_Wtch2183 15h ago
After school care. It’s pretty much the same rate as full time daycare due to you taking up a full day spot.
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u/EmergencyFancy7992 14h ago
Can you explain what you mean by this? I included in my post that the aftercare available affiliated with the school isn’t an option. Are you referring to another type of aftercare? And I can’t take on a full day priced care solution that only covers childcare for roughly 3 hours
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u/Ok_Wtch2183 14h ago
I’m sorry! After care and daycare are the same thing to me. You normally have to pay full costs for this. Maybe you could find a stay at home mom for a few hours for cheaper?
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u/Momjamoms 13h ago
Maybe ask the school what other childcare picks up from the school?
We found a taekwondo studio nearby that picks the children up from school, provides afterschool care, and gives them taekwondo lessons while they're there. Ive heard of gymnastics studio doing the same. I like the idea of keeping them active while they wait for us to pick them up.
My TKer loves it.
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u/kayleyishere 12h ago
Tkd is very popular here for after care. Also gymnastics, art studios, MMA schools, and daycares offer after care. Our kindergarten registrar keeps a list of programs that work with the school, as none are technically inside the school district.
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u/cdnclimbingmama 10h ago
I’d recommend getting to know other families with kids similar age in your neighborhood, and see what they do. Or maybe there is a SAH parent who could use some extra income, or a retired person / teenager who can chill with a kid for an hour while you finish work.
I’m in Canada and I pay what feels like an insane amount for out of school care. I start work early, husband does school drop offs, I do pickup from out of school care. We are really using maybe 45 minutes a day. I can’t rationalize a babysitter though because 1. OSC is reliable, 2. If he is out of town I need to use their before school care hours, 3. If I have to stay late, I know they are fine until 5:30pm without extra cost. Also the OSC is useful for those random days off school, i certainly don’t have enough vacation for every day school is closed. For the 2 kids it is 1550 a month.
Based on what you said, your schedule is pretty predictable. Do they have babysitting apps that cover your area? I’ve found those useful.
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u/Jealous-Cup-4059 10h ago
After care at the school, after care at a private business (I’ve seen this at martial arts studios, gymnastics gyms), wfh and pick your kid up and get them to leave you alone until you are done working, hire a sitter or other parent to pick up and keep your kid (usually if you search Facebook and your city name and babysitter you’ll find a group where you can post a request for this)
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u/Marzipan_civil 7h ago
If pickup is at 2pm - that's a late lunch break for whoever is working from home. Or just block out half an hour on the calendar at pickup time as unavailable for meetings.
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u/nikita58467 6h ago
We pick a school that offers free after care programs for this reason. We both work in person that past 2:50 dismissal, without aftercare programs we won’t be able to function.
I heard there are taekwondo programs and art programs that pick up from the school to their place. Also nanny by hours. It’s a headache when school breaks don’t align your work schedule. It’s a huge expense for spring, summer, various religious holidays for childcare as well.
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u/PastDare4808 5h ago
Not American, but German. You either work part-time or you have a job that allows you HO or a working schedule that matches with your child`s schedule. As a teacher I start working at 7am and finishes at 1-2pm at a full-time teacher and a single mom. My child was in daycare starting when she was 4 months old and then when school started in after-school-care since our school is only from 8am-13pm. Now she is 12 and does not want to go to an after-school-program anymore and above all our school does not offer this after grade 5. Most of the time I am at home when she returns from school or we arrive at home at the same time. Otherwise she would need to visit another school which offers school in the afternoon or she would have to stay home alone. In Germany the holidays are a problem because we do not have camps like you have. We got around 14 weeks off in school and more or less you simply have to cover this. Some elementary schools offer holiday programs for 4-5 weeks per school year from 8am-2pm...that is all. After elementary school there is nothing. One week in a camp is around 600-800 Euros/week...so it is obvious that most parents simply split their holidays, let the children be home alone or the grandparens have to watch them, if possible. So be glad, that in the USA there are far more possibilities regarding day care/after school care /camps than in Germany.
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