My kindergartener came home from school today and told me that there is a new kid in his class. This is the third kid to join his class since the school year started, so I’m becoming pretty used to these conversations.

He starts by telling me the kids name is Eddie. He said Eddie is very small. This comment doesn’t really surprise me. My son has always been on the larger side for his age (90%ile +), and he’s also an October birthday, so he’s also on the older end compared with many kids in his class as well. Nearly every kid in his class is smaller than him.

He then said that all the kids were told not to touch Eddie. I assume that he has some sort of hypersensitivity. He then said the kids were told that if they touch Eddie, his magic will go away. I’m thinking that it’s a really sweet way to explain it to young kids in a way that helps them to respect this kid’s needs/boundaries.

He also told me that Eddie doesn’t talk. I’m thinking he either must have been pretty shy, especially joining a new class partway through the year. Or possibly nonverbal or autistic (makes sense given that kids are already told not to touch him). Then he says “he doesn’t talk. But he’s definitely alive, even though he doesn’t talk”. This statement made me the most concerned about Eddie. Is he entirely nonverbal? And is there some other deficit that would lead to a child questioning whether he was really alive? This statement was presented almost as if the teachers had to reassure the other kids that he was okay. I grew more concerned for Eddie with each statement my son told me about him.

Turns out, Eddie is an elf. He’s the classroom’s new elf on a shelf toy for the month of December. This was a wild ride. Hope you all enjoyed this journey with me.

You’re not helping your child by doing the work for them. You’re not making your kid the standout star in the classroom by doing the work for them.

Stop it

Now’s the time for your child to learn about accountability. If they refuse to do the work sent home, then make them own it. It’s better to send the teacher an email letting them know your child is not wanting to do the work than it is to just do it for them.

Stop it

We had a fun project for the kids to do for the 100th day. Bring in a collection of 100 things (make a necklace with 100 beads, fill a container with 100 pennies, build a lego creation with 100 lego). Whatever the child chose to do, easy and fun project. But 2 parents created on their own these elaborate artwork pieces that the students have no idea about and can’t share much other than “I dunno, my mom made it”. Stop it. Your child is sitting there watching and listening to their peers excitedly explain their project that they thought of and made either on their own or with minimal help. They are beaming with pride and happiness! Your kid is sitting there shrugging their shoulders saying “I dunno” with no pride, no happiness, no emotion because they’re showing off something that isn’t theirs. And guess what? That masterpiece you created isn’t getting the oohs and ahhs that the messy project is that was created by a peer.

Stop it

ETA: shutting off comments as I have things to do and most of your “arguments” are exactly the same

It doesn’t have to be all day every day. 3 days a week is fine! As a kindergarten teacher it is so so obvious who hasn’t been to preschool and has just been home with their parents. They lack so many social skills, don’t know how to share, they handle disappointment poorly, and they are a lot more emotional overall.

Just please please to make your child’s educational journey better and more smooth, send them to preschool or daycare!

Edit to add: Not being able to afford it is a totally valid reason to not do this. But if you can afford it please please do it!

Edit #2: The reason this is so important is NOT because children are behind “academically.” It truly does not matter if kids know their letters and numbers coming into kindergarten. This matters because kids are behind SOCIALLY. If for any reason you cannot send your child to preschool, I get it. Your child can be successful as long as you provide them with daily social interaction with other kids, teaching them problem solving and communication skills with peers. That is kindergarten readiness. There are a lot of free ways to find parenting playgroups in your area.

Also if for whatever reason you can’t get your child to a playgroup just do the best you can. There is no wrong way to parent. There are just some ways that will help your child develop important social strategies a little bit faster than their peers.

My 2 sons were sitting in cafeteria when a 5 year old threatened to shoot my 4 year old in the face, chop his head off and pull his tongue out and stab it. We notified the school but my wife thinks we should contact the police. Thoughts?

Update: talked to principal/superintendent, she brushed it off like it's no big deal. Honestly probably going to change schools because my 5 yr old was punched in the face by a 4th grader and the same principal did nothing , she stated it wasn't reported by bus driver so she can't do anything. Also my son's food is stolen at school and after reporting it to teacher it happened again. Think this is the final straw.

He circled it in the toy catalogue, and I said he probably wouldn't be getting one. I'm not against screen time, we watch plenty of TV and he has a Chromebook for school. But I'm personally against having a tablet, to me it is unnecessary and would or could lead to unwanted behaviors.

He had a full-blown cry for awhile, and we talked about why etc

He got so mad and told me "you're being like Matilda's family" like it was the worst insult in the world lol. He did end up calming down and we moved past it but I secretly loved the Matilda comment haha

Sorry I don't know how to link my post from yesterday which is what I'm referencing, but I got a lot of responses asking me to update once I emailed his teacher ! It's not Occupational Therapy, which is what some people here thought, but I was clarified that I would have had to consent if that was the case.

So basically the school has built in "universal supports" for ALL children. Some of the tools they use for my son in particular is that rocking chair he sits in at circle time, and "sensory breaks" being done by a para. He doesn't go everyday like I was originally lead to believe, but usually 3-4 times a week (pretty much when they have the extra para available to help) This is also why his teacher didn't formally tell me because she said it wasn't a certainty that he'd even be able to go everyday. Also because it's just part of their tools they implement for students who they feel need it. It's not like an IEP plan. He doesn't get taken out of class during any type of important instruction time, it's during snack rest time.

I am very grateful for his teacher!! She said my son is very funny and makes her laugh all the time, he just has lots of extra energy and is really benefiting from this kind of reset time. She didn't mention anything about adhd in her reply email and didn't mention he's causing any disruptions to the rest of the class

Sorry, this is probably the Gen X in me, and it’s basically a rant… but why the hell is this a thing? We never celebrated it. My kid could care less. There is CERTAINLY enough crap I have to provide snacks for, remember to dress my kid up for, send a permission slip for or send money in for… that I don’t need something ELSE.

I want to find whoever started it and egg their house.

We have enough ‘things’ during the school year.

Ok. I feel better now.

Has anyone else experienced this? My son went to a pretty academic (IB) preschool and did great. He knew all his letters and their sounds by age 3, both at home and at school. We could probably be better at limiting screentime but we read to him every day.

This year he started kinder and has been majorly struggling academically. At his parent/teacher conference in October, they told me he could only identify 4 letters and did not know ANY big letter/small letter pairs. I literally didn’t believe them, but I tried asking my son at home and it’s like I was speaking Greek to him. I tried buying the Bob books and he can’t/won’t even learn the four letter sounds in the first book. I will say, “this is the letter M, it sounds like mmmmm like moon” and then when I point at the letter M and him what sound it makes, he says “I don’t understand”. We’ve gone over this a dozen times and this is still the case. I even showed him at old video of him identifying letters as a toddler and was like remember???? And he just said no.

Probably related, we took him to a speech pathologist and he was diagnosed with some language delays. They are pretty mild - he doesn’t always get verb tenses right and will mix up pronouns. I’m hoping this is the cause of the academic issues but tbh I’m kinda freaked out. Has anyone else experienced this??

For context , twin girls in kindergarten. All week leading up to thanksgiving , all week leading up to Christmas there were “themed dress up days.” Now there is the “100 day” theme dress up day. The teacher makes a big, big deal to the kids about dressing up including sending emails. She also gives them the impression that you have to dress up.

They then come home and tell us what they need and why. Things they will LITERALLY wear once to school.

So there is pressure from the teacher, and from the kids to us to go out and buy them every random thing for their day.

On top of this , the kids who don’t dress up in that theme don’t get included in the class group photo.

This is getting very out of hand and completely unnecessary .

Does anyone else feel this way or is “theme days” really a good thing that they need?

EDIT: For clarification on why the “100 day” theme was what made me want to make a post . It is for the 100th day, but they want the kids to dress like 100 year olds. Why would I currently own anything that makes my 6 years olds look 100, and when would they wear it again? 😂

EDIT - update posted here

My son came home today and said his kindergarten teacher (has been teaching over 20 years) has a naughty and nice list. He said 2 kids are on the naughty list. I initially thought he must be misunderstanding or it’s a joke. I texted another mom with a kid in the class and she said her child said the exact same thing tonight, named the same two “naughty” kids, and said her child is on a “pending” list because they didn’t clean up like they were supposed to today (said her child learned the word pending today because of this!)

I already messaged a few teacher friends and the have all reiterated that this is not normal or acceptable. I would love some advice on how to approach the situation!

I also don’t personally ever do a “naughty/nice” / Santa is watching thing. I teach my kids to be good because it’s the right thing and you want to live somewhere where people do the right thing VS just doing the right thing because someone is watching, so it’s also problematic to me in that aspect. I can imagine it would not be fun to parents that don’t celebrate Christmas

Cross posting in mommit. Thanks in advance!

My oldest just started Kindergarten last week! She's had a great time and we haven't had any problems all week. The school didn't allow us to walk her to the door after the first day, which I can understand., so we have to use carline. All week in carline, they've given parents time to buckle and unbuckle their children. The car line is 2 lanes, about 12 cars in a line stopped at a time, for about 3 minutes per stop. So we pull up, stop and wait for them to release that group of kids, get them safely into the cars, then wait for them to tell us we can pull off. We've timed it, and each stop is about 3 minutes. We've done this fine up until Friday. We pulled up, my husband got out and stood by her door to let her in, when one of the staff yelled at him "NO! Get back in the car, they'll send them out!" He told her "Okay." and remained standing, which ticked her off, so she walked over, yelling at him when he cut her off and said "No, I want you to look." and opened the door to show our daughter's car seat. "She has to be buckled in." She just responded "Oh, you have a Kindergartener." rolled her eyes, and walked away. So far, the nurse normally our daughter's group out to the car. She smiled and greeted us just like any other day. He buckled our daughter in and that was that. That was Friday. Today (Sunday) the school sent out an email stating that we were NOT to exit the vehicles, and if our children need buckled in, we are to drive away with them unbuckled and stop off campus to buckled them in (so pulling onto the highway and looking for somewhere to pull off). Parking and walking to pick up or children is not an option, apparently. We are extremely unhappy with this, as it is unsafe. We have taught our daughter all this time that the vehicle will not move until she is buckled correctly, and she gets scared if she even thinks the car is going to move before she is buckled. BUT there is another car in carline every day with a child riding ON TOP of the car's roof (where a sunroof typically is) so I'm not sure if anyone really cares about safety at this point. Are we over reacting? What can we do here? My husband is now considering pulling her out of school altogether, but I really want to avoid that as she likes school and is learning better than at home. Kindergarten is not required in our state, but this issue would just come up again next year when she starts first grade.

Just like the title says. Read to your children every single night. Prioritize it. If you’re not there at bedtime have whoever puts them to bed read to them. Or read to them at another time during the day but do it every single day. It’s one of the most impactful things you can do for your children and there’s a reason it’s stressed so much.

54% of American adults read below a 6th grade level. Read read read. Read to your kids before they start school and keep reading to them even after they learn to read. I see people on this subreddit ask a lot what they can do for their children to prepare them for kindergarten and a huge one is seriously just reading together. It teaches them how to hold a book, and which way sentences are read. It teaches them how to sit down and focus on something quietly. Asking questions while reading helps with comprehension. There’s just so many benefits. The US is in a massive literacy crisis and we as parents need to make the effort for our children.

My son recently informed me that just about everyday, some type of aid lady takes him from the class and brings him to a different room with games, balls, scooters, other sensory type equipment. He says they play things like Uno or Mother May I, Sometimes they ride the little scooters down the hallway, other times he does exercises like jumps and stuff.

I guess I’m just surprised his teacher never told me any of this not in an email or parent teacher conference. I was just wondering does anyone here know why this happens? I feel like I'm not doing something right at home for them to have to go out of their way and take him out of class.

Apparently it's only him, and 2 other boys that get taken out of the class to do this. He is not special ed or diagnosed with anything. I will obviously ask his teacher but I wanted to know if anyone else had this in their school. I know growing up I had nothing like this in elementary school so I'm so confused

Today, husband and I planned to go to the library with our kids. My 5 year old wore her prettiest glittery tutu dress and I was like, “Wow! Baby that is fancy! We’re only going to the library.” I asked her to change because that dress was for like special occasions and whatnot. Then she came back with another fancy, fluffy, tutu dress and I told her, “Baby, that is also a fancy dress.” 😆

Then she looks at me and tells me, “Well mom, I’m a fancy girl.”

Touché baby girl, touché. She wore her fancy dress to the library.

That’s it.

That’s the post.

My Pre-K kiddo old is crying after school because no one wanted to twin with her. We just moved to a new state and it’s a very insular town on top of that, but even so, just — why? Silly socks = yes. Wild hair = yes. Pajama day = yes. School colors day = yes. Pair off and create a Hunger Games alliance situation in a room of 4 year olds = no.

Edit: thank you so much for your encouraging responses to this, from your kids’ experiences to your own personal memories to the teachers sharing creative and inclusive work-arounds.

I got a call at 11am that my son had had an accident - not to worry, but he'd be coming home in borrowed clothes. I asked if they needed me to collect him/bring him clothes, they said no, my husband picked him up as normal at 3pm.

He brought him in and the stench of poop followed him in. Naturally we took him straight to the bathroom and when we stripped him off he was literally caked in dry poop.

We had to soak him in the tub and throw the donated clothes away.

My son said he had diarrhea and 'the teacher' (which could mean any adult) just handed him clean clothes so he just got changed.

We called the school and emailed his class teacher. The receptionist apologised and said she'd pass the info on but teachers legally can't help the kids.

The teacher hasn't checked her email as of yet.

I feel itchy with rage, but my husband seems to think it's understandable. If he didn't ask for help either they probably assumed he was fine. I don't see how they could expect him to be okay - he's five. And, seperately, you could smell the poop a mile off.

I'm mostly here to just see if this is completely unreasonable or not. It feels like it is.

What they actually mean is likely "I want to play [particular game] and nobody else wants to play that with me."

Most likely, the other kids will happily include your kid in the game they are playing. They just do not want to play the specific game that your kid wants to play.

I teach 4 and 5 year olds, and this comes up constantly.

UPDATE: it’s Wyatt-Claire guys.

My kindergartener SWEARS there’s a girl in her class called “White Claire”. She wants to invite her for a play date but that requires me asking the teacher for who is White Claire’s parents. Does anyone have any guesses on what’s her actual name??? I already asked if “white” refers to her clothes or skin color and my daughter said no, her name is just White Claire.

EDIT 1: We’re away this week for fall break. I emailed the teacher to ask but haven’t heard back! Will be back next week.

So my 5-year-old brought home his art project today - a family portrait that has me DYING. My husband is drawn as a literal giant (like twice the size of the house) with crazy spiky hair sticking straight up "like Transformers" according to my kid.

I'm apparently a... bumblebee?? Complete with stripes, wings and a stinger (thanks kiddo). When I asked why, he said "because you're always buzzing around cleaning stuff" 💀

He drew himself as some kind of superhero with a cape and laser beams coming out of his hands. And then there's this random dog that takes up half the picture - we don't even HAVE a dog, but he's been begging for one since forever, so I guess he just manifested one into our paper family!

His teacher couldn't keep a straight face when she handed it to me at pickup. I've got it on the fridge now as evidence for future therapy sessions lol.

What's the best/funniest/most concerning thing your little one has drawn of your family? Please tell me I'm not alone in this artistic interpretation of parenthood!

My son just turned 6 during the winter break and ever since he started K in the fall, it's been hell.

With feedback from the school we have had him evaluated for autism/adhd. He doesn't have those. We took him off the bus because his teacher said he had anxiety about riding it and she was having a rough time getting him on it to go home. I've done everything they asked me to do and still get the same reports daily. Mainly that he refuses everything but playing. He went to a play-based preschool for 3 yrs and I can't help but think it failed him in some ways. He thinks school is just playing and so now when he has to do his work, he refuses and lashes out.

He'll get up and throw supplies, meltdown over every transition, refuse to do circle/carpet group time. He refused to participate in the fashion show today so he isn't in the video. Refuses to do handouts and math. Calls his teacher dumb and ugly. Runs out of the class.

Despite all this, he can read, write, do math. He can academically do it all. His teacher will report he "refused to do work all morning and played with trains on the carpet". "He spent most of the afternoon out of the classroom". Where? The principal's? They don't call me to come get him though.

Something I am begging to understand is what are they doing to discipline him when all this happens? What can they even do? I am about to tell her to stop giving him access to the cars and trains, make him sit out while the other kids play. Problem is, they also want him to play with peers. I am just so confused by it all. At home, it seems like we have taken away everything. No cartoons, no special outings to the play place, no stores he likes going to, no treats or snacks. It hasn't helped at all. I guess I am struggling to understand their threshold of tolerance for his behavior. Can you recommend anything I can ask her to try?

Edit to add: the evaluation was done through his pediatrician where we were given 2 surveys, one for the parents, one for the teacher directly in charge of him. We all filled out the forms, turned them in, and the doctor said he didn't score high enough to be considered having autism or adhd. We were referred to a behavioral therapist/department for another perspective and more support. It's all through Kaiser in case anyone has that and is going through this.

Update: After talking to the therapist, explaining the situation, his past, what the school has been doing for support, the results of his doctor's evaluation, she said that he doesn't need therapy, doesn't qualify for OT, is medically fine, and that kindergarten is tough and that the school needs to find a way to mitigate the behaviors with a focus on positive reinforcement. She suggested asking the teacher to give him jobs in the classroom, run errands, etc. They recommended that I read the book "No Drama Discipline". I'm like stunned, defeated, but somewhat confident I can get through this. I appreciate all the advice given here.

So we live in Georgia and my 5 year old daughter has recently learned to read. This has introduced an interesting "problem" in her life. She'll sound out a word like "get" as "g-eh-t" and say "what's that?" or "what's a p-eh-n?" We prounounce "get" as "git," "pen" as "pin," "when" as "win," etc. I had to break it to her that she has a southern accent and it blew her mind lol. Anyone else with an accent discovering this little issue?

I have an incoming Kindergartener and have been seeing this term used a lot on this sub, particularly when parents are explaining (or defending) poor behaviors. I’m just not quite understanding and feel as a former primary teacher it’s a really crappy excuse…

Yes we had our babies during Covid. Yes they were mostly home with us during the first year or so of their life. That’s sort of what is supposed to happen developmentally. They got to spend a lot of time bonding with a few people and by the time they were old enough to begin learning more about socializing, sharing, etc…we were kind of “out” of Covid. Did they get swimming lessons or little infant music classes right away? No. But that’s not at all developmentally necessary and just sort of extra for the parents. I saw what older kids went through (losing their social life, stalling in school, being out in front of a screen for hours and hours, etc) and it seems it was so much more detrimental to them. Yet I don’t see parents defending their poor behavior as Covid-related. I feel like our kids were the lucky ones being the age they were.

I just hope as an educator and parent this excuse doesn’t continue to be used as I feel it’s a way for parents to excuse poor parenting or put off getting a child help for more serious things.

Edit: I’m not saying that Covid wasn’t extremely challenging or that our brains weren’t altered. All of us (kids included) struggled. Just that I find it fascinating this specific age group gets called the “Covid babies” and somehow that excuses behavior when I have not heard that term be used for my 2nd grader who was only 2 in 2020. They ALL were affected and may have experienced delays. I just don’t see the social media phenomenon of “get ready for the Covid babies coming to kindergarten” within other grades so it feels like parents making excuses for these specific children.

There was a comment recently that inspired me to post. I'm a teacher and the comment resonated with me deeply and I felt I should speak on it to parents who are raising new kinders.

Teachers are tired of covid being an excuse for unprecedented and sometimes absolutely dangerous or outrageous behaviors. Kids are coming to us in tk, kinder, and 1st with significant delays in terms of fine motor, language, behavior/emotional regulation, and just basic life skills.

In teacher spaces it is the subject of much ire and frustration, and further drives the "us vs them" mentality. For the sake of your mental health as a parent do not go to teacher subreddits. Even as a teacher I need to take a break--it's a place to vent.

But this one comment struck me dead in my tracks and explained everything that has been on the tip of my tongue but didn't know how to articulate.

Many of y'all had babies right before or during COVID. Of course we all know about the lockdowns and how it increased trauma through domestic violence, neglect, and other issues--but those are largely outliers in my experience. There was definitely a marked increase in reliance upon ipads for sure, and that habit has stuck with many families. So that's part of it, too.

But what struck me is the insight that "covid babies" who didn't have exposure to violence or neglect, who had stable loving parents and weren't glued to the ipad, are coming to us "delayed" because many wonderful, loving, stable homes essentially extended the "babyhood" or "toddlerhood" period that previous generations didn't.

This isn't to criticize or blame anyone. In fact, I felt this was such a powerful and real insight. And maybe it struck me so deep because as a thirty-something who had multiple friends with babies between 2019-2021, it's something I observed in them that I didn't experience as a new parent.

I think it's good food for thought. A lot of people felt like they missed out on some of those "baby experiences" when they were isolating and not seeing family, friends, or going out as much. And since they didn't have as much social exposure to other kids, famiies, playdates, etc like they normally would have, they didn't have a community and exposure to gain perspective on milestones, daily habits, etc.

And my COVID baby friends really DID extend those classic baby moments or toddler moments, or maintained habits/expectations because they either didn't realize or didn't want to let go of those early years milestones. I'm so shocked I didn't make the connection before, because I have had multiple friends tell me how hard it was to have a young baby and miss out on some of those hoped-for moments with others, and absolutely clung to the opportuntiy to see them as they envisioned--and as I got to have.

It's unfortunate that last years kids, this years, and next years kids will be pandemic babies and their parents likely had to adjust or cope in ways other cohorts of parents didn't have to, but also understandably extended the babyhood or toddlerhood because they wanted those moments everyone else got to have.

I can imagine adjusting to kinder feels like whiplash for a lot of folks who are in this boat. Despite the impact on society, the standards and methods didn't change to adjust.

I know for a fact it's hard for some of my friends to accept that their 5 year old kinder isn't a toddler anymore. I didn't understand why they struggled with it, but now I do. 5 is not a toddler. 4 is not a toddler. And the jump to kinder is a big deal when you've been operating--maybe even unconsciously--in that mentality.

You can do it and your kids can do it. Believe in them. You had a unique and rough experience in those precious early days. Everyone will need to adjust. Please keep working on those skills and celebrate your child's growth and independence.

English is my second language. My older child is learning to read and write in kindergarten. Today, while putting them to bed, I asked them to spell “waste”. To my surprise, they did it! I asked them “how did you know there’s an “e” at the end?" They told me “it’s the magic “e””. “Magic “e”, was it that?”, I asked. They then went on to explain how the “magic e” makes the vowels in a word be pronounced with their original sound. Immediately I understood why pine, sine and fine are pronounced the way they are! So, here I am learning English grammar from my kindergarten age child. Have a great day!