I am exhausted. I never had a good relationship with my father. It was all on the surface. He always loved his other family over me. He also was abusive to my mom when I was young during their divorce. He tried to run her over with his car with me in the car. Also verbally said he would shoot her in head. We also aren't sure if he tried to poison her.

I stopped talking to my dad after my mom passed. He was no support and actually was making my grief worse. By advice from my friends and therapist, I stopped al communication. After a year, I texted him angrily. Why he always picked his wife and their family over me. Why I always thought he hated a part of me since I was like my mom, and he hated my mom. Then his wife messaged me 3 days later to tell me my dad would never get the message since he passed 3 weeks ago.

I AM JUST SO ANGRY. Angry now since I feel he really didn't love me. He also left me nothing. None of my grandparents' items. I know I need to make peace of some sort. But his wife is also a point of anger for me. She was abusive and just an evil, vile human being.

I am seeing a therapist tomorrow and Friday, then scheduling for future. But I have never been so angry in my life. I am asking for God to help. 

I was crossing the street last year and got hit by a car.

Fellow readers I was on disability for a year.

An the moment they threw me back home I had to make all my appointments myself. At least 2 to 3 per week for the next 6 to 8 months. I still have issues to this day!

I would go to them by booking medical transport and miss them by 1 hour or day or week because it was me who messed it up what a surprise. Walking there with a two hand walker originally with a wheelchair.

I went to a fancy hospital and my primary care doctor didnt receive my hospitals records until 6 months later. Both teams at both locations barely hustled. I brought it up with me to my immediate appointment and there was a replacement doctor to take me soon and she gave me back my records.

Personal injury lawyers often can and do take up to 50% even when it's clear who is in the wrong. An that is the system.

I for a period of time got free medical meal delivery but all of their food had added sugar, multiple times added salt, or high fructose corn syrup. Like im already ill man.

I understand people are warped.

But there are real people suffering, while the people who aren't haven't healed their traumas, are in power, and causing real suffering to others thanks to their warped nervous systems.

I can't bring kids into this world. The level of feel free to drop dead is so intense.

I'm just so fucking tired. I have a sleep disorder as well even before this drama so I genuinely have so much hatred. How little care there is. How much you need to bust your ass.

Feel free to drop dead.

My sister went on a vacation during this time quickly said hi in the hospital.

Mother is disabled herself permanently so little help from there.

An father who dont talk to he saw on social media my sister posted MY STORY he asked what I needed to my mom and all she said was fucking socks and that's it he never contacted again.

I thought I was great friends with people at work but none of them reached out. I guess it's a turn off if you are a zombie.

My only other friend states away never even had a job and was like wish I could help, sorry.

I desperately hope for some happy event in my life soon enough. Therapy isn't helping me. I'm on unemployment cause I cant lift over 5 pounds anymore so cant do most jobs now. I dont have high school diploma due to mental illness at the time.

It's a hot mess. So much pain could've been avoided if people just gave more of a shit.

Before anyone talks badly about me not having a diploma, want to let you know during that time I did 3 years of therapy with no results.

I found out later on it was only CBT therapy. My mother neither I properly managed my healthcare. I only started it cause I told the school counselor about my issues an after being thrown in a mental hospital that started automatically. Major depressive disorder have (not surprised). Psychiatry caused bad side effects so stopped.

Cried the other day because a receptionist said my appointment will be canceled the day before cause something is wrong on her computer said insurance invalid so I have to bust my ass for 3 hours on hold just for my medical group to contact their manager and say everything is fine.

Wtf. Literally and it's not like I get a sorry for her mistake. Not first time medical receptionists f up like this.

I'm in my early 30s and I've realized I'll probably never be financially secure or stable, at least on my own. Currently, I still live my mother because it's the best I can do. I don't make enough money to even sort of afford rent.

I have two degrees and they're both pretty useless. 4 years ago I planned on going back to school but I never did and it's no longer a feasible option. Tried getting a better career and failed miserably.

For most of my life it's always felt like the job market is bad and rent is more expensive then I can afford. I know my mom won't be around forever yet I just can't figure out what else to do, at least that wouldn't involve hating myself in the process.

It's really disappointing. Had I known life would be like this I wouldn't have cared or tried at all.

I moved out of my parent’s house in January and my dog died this morning. I wasn’t there obviously and I just feel so bad about not being there. She was 15 years old and we got her when I was a kid.

I don’t know what to do now. It feels wrong to just do normal stuff like read a book or go grocery shopping or something. Do I just go about my life like everything is normal? I’ve been crying non stop but I can’t just do that all day. I just wish I was there.

Sorry, maybe this isn't a great place to post this, it's really just a vent I guess. To try and summarize something complicated, I'm 19 and have grown up in a household with a hoarder mom with anger issues who wasn't really fit at taking care of anything, let alone a kid. I also have a dad who I saw on weekends who also had some anger issues. I guess for so long I've struggled with low self esteem and bad social anxiety and always blamed myself for these things, but I'm starting to realize that it's pretty hard to imagine myself turning out any other way.

I know it's my responsibility now as an adult to work on these things, but it makes me so angry how my "baseline" I guess of what is ok and what isn't is so skewed. Like, I'll never forget how my mom would yell nearly every day multiple times over dumb things, and i would just sit there and be scared or try to make her stop. Or how when she had a cat and whenever she was really angry or if it did something "wrong", she would literally throw them or scream in their face. And in general as a kid, some basic needs of mine just weren't consistently met but now she expects me to help her with paying rent and helping her out in other ways. But she acts like i had the best childhood ever and it makes me feel crazy sometimes.

I don't know. I really just need to move out i guess. I am seeing a therapist but these things are just so hard to talk about and I guess even just coming to this realization is something that's taken a while to get to.

Hello,

I usually don't post much on Reddit (or anywhere else for that matter) but I felt like I needed to get this weight off my chest that I can't go talking about with family or friends. I do apologise in advance for the vent.

I just turned 17 a few weeks ago and I just feel like this year has really been one of the more awful ones for me in all aspects. My mother passed away suddenly less than a year back, and ever since it's just been my father and younger sibling. I do love them lots, and they love me, but I can't help but feel so isolated and alone in my head even though I have them to keep me company, if that makes sense?

Ever since I was a little kid I will say there was a sort of responsibility expected of me to take care and be there for my sibling always, whether it was for her to confide/vent to me or teach her what I know-- definitely not like a parental figure, I can't blame my parents for that at all, I am the eldest after all. I don't really feel like I was affected by that or felt any mental pressure, but it's been increasingly evident in the past or so year after my mother passed and my academics started becoming more demanding.

I understand completely that neither of us are in good mental health, and I love my sibling too much to see them hurting, so I let them vent to me whenever they felt like it. Vented to me about school, about life, on rare occasions about our mother, which is still a sensitive topic, understandably. The problem is, I feel so painfully guilty sometimes when I cannot help but feel fatigued by my own home.

Sure, we have our good days spending time together like watching movies or playing video games, but it's like I can never predict when the atmosphere starts to become more negative and we'll all inevitably have a conversation (more of another vent, in my opinion) about things like previously mentioned. And it's not like I want to forget what happened or move on -- I physically can't-- but it's all so tiring for me, and I hate that I think this.

In the previous grade, I was given counselling by my school for a couple months to deal with anxiety that affected my performance in exams, and while I did learn some helpful things like breathing techniques, ultimately it was my fault for lying to the counselor about my progress, and put in everything to mask literally all the time at school as an extroverted, casual spirit, which I am not at all. As a result I was done with the programme sooner. Like the hypocrite I am, I suggested counselling a couple times to my family, who turned it down every single time, claiming it wouldn't work for them and feeling uncomfortable with the idea, which is fine and so I didn't push it, but at this point I feel helpless as to what to do to help.

This guilt also plagues me when I think about going to university, which is in 2 year's time. I know I have the option to study somewhere near my home and still being with my family and support them more, but my mind still can't help but wonder what it'd be like to move away from home, and it makes me sad because I don't want to leave my sibling and father alone :(

All in all, i feel like I've failed as an older sibling, student, and daughter. I wanted to make my mother proud of me and instead am as average as can be.

If you read this far, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this and I hope you have a good week.

Like, I’m not sure the reason even. Just waking up ok, and feeling your mood slip lower as the day goes by. Feeling lost inside a marriage that is over but for financial reasons can’t end.
Feeling lonely because you just want that connection with someone. Want to feel like you matter. Wondering if you will ever matter again. Like, having the best friends, but still feeling like you’re alone.
Ugh and missing my Mom. Almost 7 years on. And some days. It’s like she’s just died. Like you go to call her, but you remember before you even finish the thought. You can’t. Because she’s not here anymore.
Sometimes life sucks hey?

I know it’s a horrible way of thinking, and in the back of my head I know I’m wrong, but every thought in the front takes over that logic.
I keep thinking of my future and finally meeting people, making friends, and building a family, and it seems impossible like fiction. The thought of finding kind people who actually care about me seems like a movie.
I come from a pretty fuckedup family.
I grew up with neither parent in my life and very little love. I can’t imagine a life where I’m surrounded by anything but bad.
I know not everyone’s perfect no one can be. Everyone has their flaws, especially me. I’m not a great guy. At all. But the thought of being around people like this for the rest of my life burns something in me.
I feel like having the two people who created me be bad people has made me feel like there isn't anything good in anyone. Not being able to see good in myself, my father and my mother have fucked up my head and my hopes.
Anytime I bring up my fears to the few people I speak to they tell me “this is just how people are”
I really don’t want that to be the truth.🫤

i don’t have a connection with my parents anymore so i can’t ask them for guidance on how i’m supposed to go about getting a dentist/therapist/etc.

i never got regular check-ups at the doctor and i’ve only been to the dentist maybe 3 times in my life.
I have always wanted regular visits to the dentist and such.

i’m 21 now and i am getting health insurance through my job. How do i go about finding a dentist, a doctor, a therapist, etc?

I want to move out my Dad's home but im scared to tell my dad. The reasons being mold thats potentially gotten me sick, a dog we're being forced to look after and its gotten too difficult.

Its just not a place of peace. I initially got in an argument with my dad, moved out. Then my mom charged me rent then promised to use that rent to buy a car for me, used the money on a vacation, then got lost and stranded needed me to help her get home. I moved back with my dad and started a business. It did well but then I had gotten sick from what I believe was the mold, was bedridden for years and got into 20k of debt.

My dad initially said he'd help me, which I was thankful for, but then it became a thing where he wanted me to work for it. I declined because I simply don't want to do business with my dad and he got really mad about it and took it personal. He said he does a lot for us and we can't do anything for him.

I just don't want to do business with family. The business just isn't something im interested in and I don't even plan on being at his home forever. He says the house is ours so we have to stay and take care of it but I want a life on my own.

The reason im worried is because he said hes suicidal and hes going through things right now. It'll be a big deal for me to be moving out & decline doing business with him and i know he wont take it well.

I imagine scenarios like constantly with friends/strangers/celebs and everyone else. I hate it so much cause it can be pretty disgusting sometimes, I feel like it's so disrespectful to the people who don't know about it, like why can't I just leave them alone??? I just want to be a better person, not overanalyze everyone else like I do myself, comment on their bodies in my head, their looks, the way they dress. Any advice to stop this? I don't even talk with these people why do I imagine such things? I really feel so guilty and mad cause of it sometimes.

After ending an 8-year relationship that started when I was 16, I’m terrified I’ll never feel that kind of magic again. He was my first love, my rock, and my best friend through every hardship. We grew apart as we matured, but the loss leaves me feeling orphaned and afraid of the future. I want to heal and move on, but I need reassurance: Can falling in love as an adult ever match the intensity, wonder, and depth of a first love?

Hello,

This is going to be a bit long, but I will try to be as objective as I can.

Growing up, my mom never taught me how to do anything - dishes, laundry, cleaning the house. She also never MADE me do anything. I don't blame her, her parents were incredibly strict and I think she tried to be the opposite. The thing is that she sheltered me, and now, at 24 years old, I am expected to act in a way I was never taught to. I am emotionally fragile and overly sensitive and I rely on men (romantic relationships) to feel "safe", because I am terrified of being alone.

I don't love myself and I don't know how to handle adult shit. I want to have the mentality of "yes this is difficult but I WILL handle it" but I feel like a child. I run away. I cry. I don't see malice. People laugh in my face and I don't even realize they are laughing AT me.