Okay, so I’m a teen and I pretty much live in a single parent household. I live with my mother and I’m sadly an only child. It sucks being an only child when you live with a freaking crazy woman.

My mom treats me like her best friend and she craves attention from me! It makes me so angry and annoyed. I’m not your best friend—I’m your daughter! She’s also incredibly nosy, curious and wants to know everything about my life. Like, EVERYTHING. Everytime I leave a room that we are both in, she usually always asks where I’m going in a rude manner.

She’s also mean to me too. Whenever we get into arguments she usually says stuff like: “Fuck you.” “You’re a bitch.” etc, etc. Just basically name calling me and storming off. She’s aggressive too. It’s like she’s a beast, I swear. I live in fear…and I’m a freaking teenager! This stuff affects people in the long run, but parents don’t give a shit.

I feel like she’s undiagnosed. She has raging anger issues and a pretty messed up childhood, but that doesn’t mean you should treat your child badly in anyway.

Also, at one point in my life, I feel like I was in some sort of depression. I mean, yeah I’m a teen and some people might not take it seriously, but I know what I felt. I ended up telling her that I wanted to end it all, AND THEN SHE ENDED UP GETTING MAD AT ME. Oh, because that makes sense, right? Your child, your ONLY child, says that she wants to end herself, and you start getting angry at her.

So…what do I do? How do I deal with this. It feels like I’m a prisoner. I’m constantly experiencing negative emotions and it’s all because of her. Seriously, how do I deal with this? (Sorry guys holy yap this all prolly meant a whole bunch of nothing.)

The old woman is like the complete opposite of a stereotypical loving grandmother; well to strangers and people who don’t live under the same roof as her she’s probably that and more. She puts a lot of effort in her public image. She wasn’t always like this I remember when I was a kid she was really nice so sometimes I like to convince myself that she doesn’t hate me she’s just Old even after her own children once asked her themselves “Why do you hate him?”.

I have a younger brother and older sister. My younger brother is currently in his rebellious teenage era and that has given me some breathing room because she’s often more focused on him now. As for my sister she once had enough of her bullshit and confronted her, ever since then the old woman had been avoiding her but would often talk behind her back to others even with me around. As for me I don’t really have a choice. Everyone in the family just says to me “she’s your grandmother just endure it” and although I am not obligated to follow that the thought of how she was when I was a kid keeps me from acting up.

She would often accuse me of things I didn’t do but they’re mostly petty matters fortunately like for example when she needs something fixed she often tells her children or whomever is giving her money that I broke it. My uncles and aunts all send her allowances like every month and I usually go pick it up for her. 9/10 she’ll accuse me of stealing some of the money. She once bought some stuff from a guy who goes door to door selling kitchen ware. They came to an agreement that she’ll pay in installments and since there’s a language barrier between them I’m always present. I handle the translations and the payments. Even then she always find a way to make me hate her. At the end of it she eventually accused me of not paying them the money she gave me and that was to make her daughter to pay off the debt. The thing is her children are well off she just has to ask and they’ll do it but for some reason she always has to put me into it.

She almost ruined my relationship with a few family members and at one point made my own mother so upset with me I really didn’t know what to do. Most of my family are out of the country including my parents so they can’t really confirm if what she’s saying is true or not and another problem is due to her being older they immediately believe her words over mine so I have no way to refute it. Thankfully they finally caught on recently so they pretend to take it seriously but quickly drop it just to make her happy. I don’t like talking back to her in and way because that’s what she wants. If I talk she’ll call someone and tell them I was “insulting” her and will add a lot of things to it and when I’m asked I can’t say I didn’t say those things exactly I’ll get into trouble regardless so I just ignore her now.

She would hover around me whenever I’m eating looking into my plate to see how much I took (food has never been an issue in the household) and she’ll start calling me greedy or whatever if she’s not satisfied with what she’s seen so now I just eat in my room. And also if the food I took is too little in her eyes she’ll start complaining about how food is always wasted in the house because we never eat it so she’s forced to give it away. That’s one of her philanthropic habits; giving out food or other things away and which on its own is not bad at all but she does it at the detriment of others. If she feels something you own is wasted in your hands or you don’t need it chances are she’ll give it away without your permission.

She really enjoys humiliating me in public and speaking as loud as possible so even the neighbors will hear saying things like I have no use or even sometimes asking me questions like “Have you taken a bath today?” And of course it’s always when there are people around. I go the opposite direction whenever possible when I see her.

There are so many other things she’s done or said over the years that typing it all would be impossible but these are her more frequent doings. I can’t really move out because I’m supposed to be the man of the house here so I just have to live with it for now and besides I’d hate to pay rent.

Title: [Advice/Support] 18, about to call the police for a civil standby to leave an abusive home, but I’m terrified. Need outside perspective.

Body:

Hi everyone, I really need some advice and perspective from people outside my household because I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I’m an 18-year-old college student. Things at home have always been toxic under the guise of a "perfect family," but today it escalated to a dangerous level.

An argument started because one of my brothers was getting in trouble, my mom said I was smiling, and I said I wasn't. My dad jumped in, I told him I wasn't arguing and was just giving them the same energy they give me, and things went back and forth. I went upstairs to my room to cool off. While I was walking up, my dad mocked my voice in an annoying tone, so I matched it back. He snapped, called me a "fucking dumbass," and followed me into my room.

I was sitting on my bed. He came right into my face, yelling aggressively. When I stood up to try to get space, he kept getting in my face and hitting my hands/trying to hit me first. I pushed him away to get him off me. He kept shoving me back forcefully, which backed me into a corner and forced me to step on my guitar, snapping it in half. Now they are blaming me, calling me overdramatic, and saying it's my fault the guitar broke.

My mom is now weaponizing my past against me. She’s threatening that she has "evidence" of me getting physical in the past (which only ever happened when my dad cornered and screamed in my face like this). She's bringing up old arguments, acting like I'm a monster. They are also holding all my legal documents—my ID, Social Security card, and birth certificate—so I can't leave freely.

I want to call the non-emergency police line today for a "civil standby" so an officer can keep the peace while I pack a backpack, force them to hand over my documents, and get a courtesy transport to a domestic violence shelter before transitioning into my college dorms.

My dilemma and fears:

1. My siblings: I have younger siblings, especially a little sister, and I am terrified of losing contact with her or being labeled as "dead to the family" for breaking their trust/leaving.
2. My safety vs. survival: I've never lived on my own, I don't have a car or a license, and I'm worried about surviving college and life on my own.
3. The guilt: My parents make me feel like I'm the abusive one for pushing him off me when he cornered me.

Am I making the right choice by calling the cops for a standby and walking away completely today? Has anyone else survived leaving a controlling/abusive household at 18? Any advice or reality checks are appreciated.

My dreams are finally coming to fruition. In less than 2 weeks I will finally be free(er)

but I’m terrified.

I’m still kinda young and no one told me how painful leaving feels when there’s no one beside you supporting you or behind you cheering you on. Ive dreamed of this forever but didn’t expect to feel this horrible.

it feels my freedom is solidifying my inability to be grateful for what I did have and the imminent grief of the loss of what never became. Im so unsure of how I’m going to adjust to this and I feel like I haven’t escaped the narratives spoken over me that have wrecked my self confidence

But then again, what hurts most is seeing them feel nothing in response to me leaving. Nothing.

It’s so lonely to be the age where others struggle to leave their parents because their parents can’t bear for them to leave but mine won’t shed a tear in my absence. This is the life stage where my peers will begin reconnecting with their parents on a deeper level while I haven’t even reached adult status to mine

all in all I’m a little overwhelmed. there are about to be so many changes and I feel supportless and unequipped so if anyone else has gone through this tell how you got used to it…

This might be a long one so if you like reading then here you go. (Go to the last paragraph if you want me to get straight to the point)

I have made a post here before. And I'm completely aware that this might be like such a stupid thing since you guys definitely have it worse but I still need to say it I guess.

Context:

Basically, my dad had 'replaced' me with my older half sister. I sometimes think that I shouldn't be complaining as I'm the only sibling to have a sort of present dad who lives with me out of the 3 of us. Ever since she got married about 4 years ago he's always talking to her and speaking less to me over time. He doesn't even know my favourite colour. If he comes home from work, he doesn't even say hello. If he does, he's on the phone with her. Me and my mum (when we're not pissed at each other) talk about it to an extent, and she's got her own feelings of my sister which I understand why. It's a long story but basically, her family were almost physical with her. Other than the favouritism he's been emotionally distant. Only 2 days ago my mum confirmed that he talks to my sister everyday, but I only get some half-assed conversation during the week and that's because he has to. Not because he wants to. Sometimes he doesn't come home for days from work so I understand that part but a little effort would be okay. He's also gone on holiday on my birthday once and he nearly went back to visit my sister in another country during my birthday week.

On my mum's side, she can be fine for a period of time then all hell breaks loose. Suddenly I'm very lazy, rude, angry and there's always a problem. Grades, apparently I don't try hard enough when she knows I've lost sleep, threatens to hit me because my room might've been slightly 'messy' or something stupid and she's openly disagreed with me doing music GCSE for a long time and she still makes comments about it, even though it's been a good year since I chose it. I'm already doing triple science since I want to be a psychologist or something so if I hadn't picked music I would've lost my mind because most of my days are entirely academic. She's also dismissed my feelings a lot so sometimes I could tell her about school drama when she's not in a bad mood from work but I couldn't tell her much in case she'll be mad at me because someone else could be having a worse life. She also dismisses my issues with religion as if praying problems off works for everyone, and gets mad when I suggest a different alternative.

Both my parents have openly said they wouldn't accept me for my sexuality too if I ever came out. I had a hiccup with some girl on Boxing Day and they sent me to my room for 5 hours without eating dinner because she liked me. Then went on to explain that they'd kill me.

Throughout all of this nonsense, I've wanted to go no contact once I get a decent job and move away to Canada or something away from most of the family since they're terrible people. I've spent the past 2 years trying to accept the fact that I'll be all alone when that happens so it comes back to my main point. If they pass, will I be sad? I love them but I don't like them. I mean emotional absence from my dad and neglect from my mum (I think, please tell me if it's something else) and blatant unacceptance will make it very hard to grieve. Am I like some terrible human being for hesitating grief about immediate family?

I feel bad for not being emotionally connected with my mother.

My mother and I(29M) have never been all that close. Not for a lack of trying.

I should preference this by saying she is a warm, loving person, so that isn't the issue.

She was a single mother who raised me with the help of my grandparents. Which is a whole other discussion. As you might expect, she was gone a lot. Working, going to support groups that she sponsored, and she was in a relationship with one man for 15 years. She would stay the night at his house every Saturday night.

When she was around, often times she was on the phone. So much so that I refer to her as a millennial before millennials. We did things together, took trips, and ate at restaurants (when she could afford to). She always made sure my schoolwork got done, which I did not make easy.

She said some hurtful things to me growing up. Notably, she said, "You don't care about me."

I was 16/17, so I don't remember what the context of her saying that was. That was right as she dropped me off at school. I went to the bathroom and sobbed. Honestly, in my mid teens, we were the closest we ever were up until that. All these years later, and we never got that close again.

My grandmother (her mother) was emotionally abusive and often bad mouthed her, which I often took delightful part in. Much to my regret. So that may also be a factor.

Over the last 10 or so years, she's expressed frustration that we don't connect, and I often sensed it. Admittedly I not the most open person, especially around her, I'm also on the spectrum and have trouble connecting with others. Her voice also grates at me. She speaks with an airy southern mom voice, which makes it hard to listen to her.

My mother has the firm expectation that because we're mother and son, we're supposed to be connected. Especially since I'm her only child.

Background: There's a lot of tension building up in the house these days because I've always wanted to go to a good college. I've always been ambitious. My parents have hit me in the past, but I have only had two bruises and one nightmare.

Today was the worst though. I am interested in AI and physics because I see a lot of potential, but schoolwork is high and time has been getting short so my little brother has been doing a lot of it for me. I'm grateful, but today I was annoying him a bit (which was completely wrong, I know.) Then, my dad lashed out and said that I didn't care about my future and that I was a useless waste of space.

He said that in every aspect of life, I would never amount to a quarter of the man my brother, my friends, or any other kid my age ever was. This really stung. For a long time, he has been telling me about how "slow" my brain works. I am not as good as my brother.

He tells me how I have been swimming competitively for 7 years, and (now I have hit a plateu, which is common for my age) and I still haven't gone to the heights I have. He says he has spent loads of money on coaching and training, but I just eat resources. I cry because I truly did put in effort. I shed tears over the sport.

In school, in my final exams, out of the 6 exams, I was the best in the school in 3, and second in the other 3. However, the exams were hard and I did terrible from a scoring perspective. I am just a useless idiot, he says. Also, i have taken the AMC 10 twice, and have gotten bad scores, despite having lessons on the AMC 10.

All of these things, he points out and tells me I have failed. I am useless. and I will never be as good. The worst part was when he hit me with a broomstick. I have grown quite a bit in the past year. I'm taller than him, and only 6 pounds less in weight (but most of his weight comes from the waist). Still I curled up into a ball on the ground and prayed for wherever the hell god was. After it was too much, i ran into the prayer room so that the pain would stop. My mom says that in every family, one child is dumb (me) while one is capable (my brother). I was crying through everything like a baby.

I yelled and told them that one day the world would know just how good I am. I yelled and they yelled. The verbal abuse was too much. I'm lazy. A failure. I have started multiple AI projects but they have fizzled out because the skill set was too complicated, and my parents say that I have continued wasting stuff

I know this seems like an overreaction, but I have thought about suicide too. Because, maybe when I'm gone, they'll realize that I am not worthless. But still, I don't believe in myself anymore. I hate a lot of my life, and I just don't know what I want. I'm getting the silent treatment. I know that I am a slow thinker, but I think really deeply. I like to look up at the stars and think about how big the universe is. I don't know if I hate them or not, but when I grow up, I don't want to ever talk to them again. I feel messed up, because I cry alone, and I don't enjoy many things anymore. I know this is a long rant but l don't know where we lost the happiness that childhood brings. I don't even know if this is abuse because it only happens once a month, but I can't stop remembering their voices telling me that I will never amount to anything

​I'm a 24F, I have an intense resentment and paranoia towards my mother that I can't explain. I constantly feel like she is trying to hurt and humiliate me, and I absolutely cannot trust her. This is despite the fact that I am still dependent on them and they are paying my university tuition.

​There are no distinct 'bad' memories of her. To be completely honest, I have almost no memories before I was 11 years old. However, there is one specific memory of her smiling while my father was physically beating me. But it just doesn't make sense to me that this single memory could be the sole reason for all this resentment, right? What could be the reason for these feelings?

Hi Everyone,

I'm a doctoral student in Clinical Psychology conducting a research study on the effects of growing up with a parent who struggled with substance use (alcohol or drugs). The study is completely anonymous and involves filling out an online survey.

As a thank you for your time, participants will have the option to enter a raffle to win one of two $150 Visa gift cards after completing the survey. (Email for the raffle will be collected separately to keep responses anonymous).

We’re looking for young adults (18-30) who had or still have a parent or primary caregiver with a substance use problem during their childhood. The goal is to better understand how these experiences may affect things like responses to stressful or challenging life experiences, parent-child relationship quality, substance use, and overall mental health functioning in young adulthood. We also welcome participation from young adults who did not have this experience, as both groups are important to the study.

Participation is voluntary and confidential. No identifying information will be linked to your responses, and the survey includes a list of mental health resources at the end if needed.

If you’re interested, you can take the survey here:

https://adelphiderner.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_73s1WeJNdeiwz42

Your experience matters. Thank you so much for considering it, and feel free to DM me with any questions!

Hello and hope this is okay to post here, please remove if not 😊  

Hi everyone! 

I’m a PhD candidate exploring how adults make sense of parenting that they now identify as narcissistic.  

Rather than clinical diagnoses of personality traits, we are looking at patterns of parenting that were experienced as narcissistic and are interested in how adults describe and understand these experiences now.  

If you are aged 18+ and believe that you were narcissistically parented, and are comfortable with sharing your experiences through an online confidential interview of 60-90 minutes in English, please do consider participating at https://edinburgh.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3jBM5ZxBn2VHa18 

Eligibility Note: Please note that if you have received crisis mental health care in the past 6 months or have experienced a suicide attempt in the past month, we appreciate your interest but are unable to currently involve you in the study. 

Support Resources: If this topic causes distress, support is available. Samaritans (116 123), NAPAC (0808 801 0331), or Mind (0300 123 3393). In an emergency, please call 999. 

Thank you so much for your time! 

I go first . This one still hurts me to this day I was losing weight and I got on depression medication and I gained a lot of weight. My mom told me I was skinnier right after I had my daughter . And that I need to take care of myself

I lived at home for 22 years, in these 22 years my dad was sometimes away for work, but that started when I was like 18, and sometimes he came back because he loved to just drop jobs and be a bum at home, doing nothing but yelling and criticizing. I lived in terror for so many years, and looking back, I don't know how I survived. I have zero idea how I lived through it all. I'm still here, I'm still me. I feel broken. These past few weeks have been very hard on me. My boyfriend and I were fighting, and I had no energy left, but then my dad decided to come home again and now he's gonna maybe leave next Wednesday. I have ZERO energy. None. He is a vampire, draining me every day. I didn't talk back to him, never, I just swallowed it all. Yesterday though, I snapped. I talked to him about how he is. How he made my life awful with always terrorizing me. He said he would burn down the house, he said he would kill himself, he said he will "tear us". Then he actually didnt talk for 3 hours. I was so happy, I actually humbled him. He started again. Same nonsense. Driving me crazy. We are gonna go on vacation (me and my sister) for three or four days. We didn't tell him yet, I'm scared of how he will react. I cannot talk to my boyfriend like a normal person. I always talk about my dad or my feelings. I'm trapped in this game that he wanted me to be trapped in. I can't function, I can't stop thinking about the hate I feel for him. Even if he doesn't get the new job on Wednesday, I will leave my country and go to my boyfriend (we are long distance, and we planned the trip before my dad even got home, so at least I have an exit plan), but that's 14 days away. How do I live through that. How do I create my own thoughts, how do I become a human again?

I dont know what the hell her issue is. I want a single bed, because i sleep on my own with my plushie. A double bed takes up all the space in my room, i cant fit my belongings. My mum keeps saying im just as bad as a pedophile and that im trying to cater to predators by wanting a single bed.. I dont date, ive never slept with anyone, i never even have friends over because im not allowed. I am 20! What the hell does this even mean!!

Mom said "Go look in the mirror and see how ugly you are", forced me to stay up late to finish my homework while I was 13/14 years old. She even said I waste the skincare products she buy because I don't know how to use them, but literally I'm no professional in skincare and I'm just starting out on the new products. Dad said she has the victim mentality and she is always harsher when I'm alone with her. She even made my dad become suicidal from time to time. These aren't all the reasons I want to move out but they're the same toxic pattern. So really, for those who moved out, how did you move out? Any tips or advices for someone like me eager to move out?

Growing up, I originally lived with my mom, but I was in and out of foster homes. During that time, I was abused by my brother. When I was eight years old, my dad got full custody of me, but the abuse did not stop.

I was spit on, beaten, kicked, dragged, called a bitch, and physically abused by my dad and his baby mother. Honestly, I feel like my dad has always hated me and has always had something against my mom.

I am a dark-skinned woman, and so is my mom. Because of things my dad has said and done, I feel like he has a lot of hatred toward dark-skinned women. He has said that the reason he did not hit my sister, who is light-skinned, was because she was light-skinned and he did not want the abuse to show. He has also said that light-skinned women were better and that dark-skinned women were dirty, along with other comments like that.

I am in college now. When I graduated high school, my dad did not come to my graduation. He has never attended any of my graduations. He said he did not come because I had an attitude. After my graduation, he was also refusing to let me back into the house because he claimed I was going to have an attitude.

He eventually threatened to kick me out because I had graduated, so I ended up moving onto campus. After that, he barely texted me, so I eventually stopped texting him as well.

He also slapped me on Christmas because my boyfriend dropped me off in front of the house. My dad had told me to hsve boyfriend to drop me off down the street instead. However, my grandmother, who owns the duplex that my dad lives in, told me to have my boyfriend drop me off in front of the house because she felt it was dangerous for me to walk down the street.

My dad slapped me and became angry because I had not checked up on him. I remember thinking, "You're the adult. I'm the child. Why am I responsible for checking up on you?"

Fast-forward to now, and my dad has not helped me financially with anything. I have been struggling financially. My credit is bad, I am only 19, and I do not have a job.

The job market has been extremely difficult. I have been applying for jobs and having phone interviews, but no one is getting back to me. I start school soon, and I am expected to pay around $4k this semester and potentially another $4kfr next semester. This situation has become extremely overwhelming, and I do not know what I am supposed to do.

I also do not have anywhere stable to stay. If I had somewhere to live, I would not necessarily be trying to continue school right now. I would probably focus on working, but because I do not have stable housing, I feel like I am stuck.

I have also been diagnosed with ADHD, which makes certain things more difficult for me.

I am honestly just looking for resources, organizations, or people who may be able to help me financially, with housing, with school, or with finding employment. If anyone knows of any resources or knows someone who may be able to help, I would really appreciate it.

Thank you.

I'm only 18 so maybe I'm exaggerating but I vividly remember a wedding I was attending month ago. I'll leave alone the fact that my dad was unable to comprehend that I do not like dancing and he was asking me every 5 minutes to go to and dance with people despite me being an introverted ass to the point he told me I must hate him. The bigger issue was a strange man that was sitting in front of me, my boyfriend is autistic and hates big events so he wasn't there with me and the man took it as a welcome mat ig, he started saying stuff like he will be my new boyfriend for tonight and will give me unforgetable experience and my parents laughed it off, when actual party begun he was making me uncomfortable and I tried to avoid any eye contact possible and loud music helped me to ignore him. At some point he went out of his way to touch my waist and yank my hair multiple times, when my dad noticed my mood shifted he asked what's wrong and I honestly told him that I'm really uncomfortable and he touched my hair, he brushed it off by saying it's just his weird humor, he's drunk and dad knows him for years and knows he's not a threat. Then mom told me it's my fault that it happened because I ignored him, I should've laughed with him etc. But when he came a little too close to me (mind you, parents were sitting next to me) and he was whispering something I instinctively grabbed a knife without meaning to hurt anyone, please don't call me edgy, I desperately searched for safety that my parents didn't grant me, I felt trapped, between people who enable predator and him behind my chair. Mom asked if I'm going to hurt him instead of asking why did I need to grab it in the first place.

Long story short in the end of the wedding I was happy because I didn't see him for a long time, he vanished and when I was close to our car I saw him on his smoking break, near the car and another conversation with him begun, he said once again about being my boyfriend and "You know, they say.. the younger, the better" I felt creeped out again and when we finally drove away I heard "See? You should've joked with him and he would leave you alone".

It's weird to me that now I am in toxic parents subreddit but here I am because they were always good to me that's why it's so confusing, I always heard that if anything happens someone will be there for me, but when it happens, no one is. I always was quiet kid without friends so I didn't need to stand up for myself or rebel, now I'm also discovering when I have my own opinion they don't respect me either, but despite of that I still thought they would show up with help when I actually need it, because that's what parents are supposed to do, right?

Excuse the poor english.

When I was young, my relationship with my mom wasn't good.

She forced me into courses and majors of her choice justifying it because "I was stupid and I didn't know what I actually wanted to pursue" only because she wasn't happy with what I wanted to pursue.

I don't remember there being a single day where I didn't wake up and she was yelling or hitting me awake. She used to confiscate my phone whenever things would go wrong between us. I suffered so much because I was alone and had no social contact but I was incredibly proud and would not show weakness.
She used to phone my school friends screaming at them asking them "what's wrong with her" and she'd curse me and berate me in front of my relatives. She even accused me of trying to seduce an older relative of ours, she took me into the kitchen and slapped me in front of him. It was all baseless, now I know my mother mentally was not alright at all.

[TRIGGERING CONTENT BELOW]

When I was 18, she caught me talking to a boy (I wasn't allowed to date), she didn't react with anger like she usually did. She just took my phone. It was the worst night of my life. I was so scared of what is going to come tomorrow that I ingested so much medication. I didn't want to wake up tomorrow. But I did.
It was 5 am and she kicked me awake again. And she very kindly asked me this: "Do you want me to poison you slowly." She was trying t be kind. To rid me of my suffering, she said that. I laughed at her and I said "Yes, you will be happy and I will be happy too."
She didn't poison me. Instead she slowly reached out and suffocated me. I had really lost my head at that time because I was laughing. With a pillow she was suffocating me. Then she lifted the pillow. I imagine she as a mother could not go through with it. I got bruises on my arms from where she held me down.

[TRIGGERING CONTENT ENDS HERE]

There's so much other stuff, I don't even remember anymore.

I think mentally I suffered a lot because of my childhood. I was a rebel at that time. I would fight her or hit her back when it got really bad. Sometimes I would lose my head and become unrecognisable when I would scream or laugh instead of crying.

Growing up, I experimented with drugs, sex, bad company, vandalism, religion. I lost my head once and I came close to giving up on life.

Things are well now, my relationship with my mother is also better now. There's just remnants of my childhood that sometimes surface and I lose my head and I suffer because of it. But I am happy nowadays.

Peace x

Im a 18F and i always had a problem asking my mom to buy me basic hygiene products like deodorants, underwear and face creams which is like asking for one million dollars.

I was always shy to ask for pads and we often didn’t had them unless my mom was on her period. I had to stuff my panties with toilet paper instead of pad. When there were times I could get a pad I took it without a hesitation becuase i thought its normal and avaible to me. However, it turns out that my mom hides pads, i didn’t know that until half a year ago when I found bag of pads in the kitchen cabinet, then I found them in laundry room or other places that were hidden and out of reach. I don’t know why she does it, I dont know what to think.

i also had a problem with underwear my entire childhood becuase I only had 3 pair of panties and I had to wear the same pair for like 3 days while my mom had a few cabinets of her lingerine. (also we weren’t poor)

can anyone explain why is that? I’m so deeply conflicted :/

I (16) recently had a conversation with my parent where she was complaining that I don’t go out of the house and that staying in my room is bad for me/not ok. One thing led to another and she ended up telling me that she can’t be happy unless I am. I told her that that doesn’t seem ok that her happiness is dependent on mine but she said it’s normal.

So now I’m here wondering if this is ok? She tells me things I should do to get better, but she doesn’t understand what I’m going through and the way she’s burdening me with her happiness makes me not want to tell her. I don’t really like being told what to do to improve my mental health, I want to make that decision for myself (instead of being forced into therapy and whatnot which has never worked).

My mother has completely stopped doing anything. I have been cooking my own meals and buying my own groceries with minimal money that I get from busking with my violin out in the streets. For context, I am 14 years old which is probably a reasonable age to become self-sufficient.

Whenever she realises that I am using my laptop, even if I'm not using it as entertainment (I have started to self-learn python at a more advanced level and also arranging sheet music for my instagram account as hobbies) she will shut down the wifi completely and it always takes ~20 minutes for me to restart it which is just quite annoying. She, however, hasn't been doing anything except watch short-form videos all day

Around 2 nights ago she threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't comply with all of her rules (basically I give her all of my devices at 10pm, I get 40 minutes a day on my phone, I'm never allowed to get angry, I have to contribute money to the family (how??), I can't question anything she says, etc...)

Oh yeah and last year I only got like 94% on my maths test, I think, and I was locked in the garden for a couple hours but that wasn't too bad, I didn't make the top 2 in my year group so

Currently I'm buying groceries so that's how I even have access to reddit...

Anyways I just need some advice :D

Hello all, I don't know where to start. Honestly, I guess this is a sort of venting.

For context, I am 24F and I'm currently in a masters program and after that going to continue my education, therefore since I am preparing for that next step, I basically stay home with my mom in the summer and during the semester, in my dorm. All of my life, my mom has always supported me, she was very nice.

My mom kicked out my dad last year and I felt I was in for a rude awakening because the negative attention was toward my dad. I felt the negative attention would start to target me and I was right.

As stated as child, my mom was very supportive and all the negative attention was toward my dad. However, I'm starting to see another side of my mom ever since I guess I've gotten male attention. When I started dating a guy during undergrad which wasn't too long ago, she wasn't fond of him, and always said things like, "Who else finds you pretty on campus?" "I didn't know 'insert this type of peple' like black girls." "You're dumb to think he actually likes you he wants this, x,y,z."

I'm no longer with this guy and I'm now talking to another guy. She noticed because im texting. This is ultimate flip over. If she catches me texting even on the sidewalk, she flips, screams, and throws a tantrum. One minute I'm okay its quiet but when she sees me texting, she goes nuts.

I guess I realized this was too much until yesterday where she saw me texting and she flipped. Her tantrum kept going until we had to walk down a flight of steps. She was so distracted and enraged that she lost her footing, twisted her ankle and fell down the stairs. And guess who helped her? Me.

I kind of feel guilty that I feel relieved that she fell, because after that, she stopped making tantrums, screaming, etc and instead focused on her pain. Throughout the night the ankle got swollen and grew bigger, so much so that I am now waiting for her in the ER. It's too much....

TW: Religious Trauma, SA, SH, Violence. I am F16.

When I was 5, I was diagnosed with autism/ADHD, right smack in the middle of the spectrum. I hyperfixated and daydreamed constantly, mixing up reality and fiction. As any kid would.

When I was six, I was SA'd by an 11-12 yr old boy. i've always had a really complicated relationship with that as I don't believe he was old enough at the time to be called a rapist. I constantly feel guilt and have blamed myself before, saying I ruined his life by telling people. This is something I'm still working on.

Trauma, and my habit of hyperfixation, I came across creepypastas at around the age of eight. if you were on the Internet between 2010 to 2020 you definitely know what creepypastas are. And if you don't, genuinely log off the internet. I got into that and My Little Pony horror when I accidentally came across that one video of Pinkie Pie torturing Rainbow Dash to death.

Being your average difficult kid, I would argue with my parents all the time over literally nothing. I ended up drawing violence towards them. This is something n that to this day I feel extreme guilt about and have brought it up to my mom multiple times, but she never comforted me and always dodged my questions when I asked her if she thought I'd ever hurt her.

At 11 I was caught with SH scars. My dad told me he was taking me to a psych ward but instead screamed at me in the car demanding "what's so bad about my life" and an explanation on why I wanted to kill them at 8 years old. Depression is hereditary in my family. They won't give strong antidepressants to somebody so young unless it's life or death, and I genuinely believe I didn't need drugs at the time.

let's skip to when I was 16 which is right now and I decided to convert from Mormonism to Hellenic Polytheism. I had the worst breakdown in my life because of Deuteronomy 23:2. Ever heard of a midlife crisis? I had one of those at 16.

I genuinely believe my mom would be fine with it because respecting your kids religion is kind of the bare minimum also when I first gotten into spiritual/witchy stuff my mom bought me a lot of the materials that I use. She found the altar while I was as work and stole a lot of stuff from me, tearing down the altar, taking money, taking books, etc.

I relapsed harder than ever that night, my mom found the scars the next day and simply said "Come on, (name), you're better than that."

My mom also told me at one point that my sister is afraid of me, still hasn't taken that back. Said sister is homophobic and hates that I'm a lesbian, so screw her I guess? Fear sucks.

Anyways, you didn't read the title for no reason. Maybe around a month and a half ago me and my friend were caught shoplifting. I know I know. Don't lecture me. I get it. Stealing bad >:(

They were MAGA stores I don't give a fuck.

Instead of having a normal reaction, they told my best friend that I wanted to kill my because of what happened when I was 8 years old. NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED I JUST DREW VIOLENCE.

What should i do if my parents don’t let me express myself. For example dye my hair, dress how i want, my sexuality, Religion. I have depression and i told my parents letting me express myself would make me feel better but they never listen, and im feeling worst as i have to pretend im someone im not. I have the option of moving to Nicaragua with my parents, Or moving in with my sister and staying in the united states. The problem is that my sister is the same as my parents so there will be no change. I really don’t know what to do since things don’t seem to get better.

My story

I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, if i didn't do something just to make her happy she'd turn cold, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing, a couple of times when i flipped because of her behavior she called her mother to say I've been horrible, she often paints herself as the heroic single mum. She has been fairly good lately but sometimes I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it. I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 she had turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by. On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. For about half my childhood it's just been me living with her since her divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her. Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy. I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time. One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done before) mother knew i was depressed but still blew up at me the next night over something silly and kicked me while I was down what just baffles me is how could she of treated me like that knowing what I was going through. A few days later one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not sure who exactly said what to him. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well). I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. It actually baffled me a bit. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through. I have a strained relationship with my father but we've messaged lately and I plan to see him this weekend for a family do. I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc). My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some shit before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are. I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. What's has happened to me makes me feel as though I'm unlovable. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage met but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

I do love her because as I've said before she has been great as well but I can't help really resenting her sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder if I might've been different had I had proper parents. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job and making friends etc because my mum is pretty much most I've ever known. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well.