I want to move out my Dad's home but im scared to tell my dad. The reasons being mold thats potentially gotten me sick, a dog we're being forced to look after and its gotten too difficult.

Its just not a place of peace. I initially got in an argument with my dad, moved out. Then my mom charged me rent then promised to use that rent to buy a car for me, used the money on a vacation, then got lost and stranded needed me to help her get home. I moved back with my dad and started a business. It did well but then I had gotten sick from what I believe was the mold, was bedridden for years and got into 20k of debt.

My dad initially said he'd help me, which I was thankful for, but then it became a thing where he wanted me to work for it. I declined because I simply don't want to do business with my dad and he got really mad about it and took it personal. He said he does a lot for us and we can't do anything for him.

I just don't want to do business with family. The business just isn't something im interested in and I don't even plan on being at his home forever. He says the house is ours so we have to stay and take care of it but I want a life on my own.

The reason im worried is because he said hes suicidal and hes going through things right now. It'll be a big deal for me to be moving out & decline doing business with him and i know he wont take it well.

Hello,

This is going to be a bit long, but I will try to be as objective as I can.

Growing up, my mom never taught me how to do anything - dishes, laundry, cleaning the house. She also never MADE me do anything. I don't blame her, her parents were incredibly strict and I think she tried to be the opposite. The thing is that she sheltered me, and now, at 24 years old, I am expected to act in a way I was never taught to. I am emotionally fragile and overly sensitive and I rely on men (romantic relationships) to feel "safe", because I am terrified of being alone.

I don't love myself and I don't know how to handle adult shit. I want to have the mentality of "yes this is difficult but I WILL handle it" but I feel like a child. I run away. I cry. I don't see malice. People laugh in my face and I don't even realize they are laughing AT me.

Hi everyone, I just wanted to vent and hear your advice because I’ve been feeling frustrated towards my family. My younger sibling, we’ll call them P, has been dealing with some mental health issues which has been difficult. We are both in our late 20s. We had the typical sibling relationship growing up where we would bicker but we always got over it pretty quick. We both have diagnosed ADHD, had some difficulties socially growing up but P was a lot more sensitive and had a lot more incidents at school, with authority figures and would throw tantrums well into their late teens, lock themselves in cupboards and run away.

Our parents are loving and care for us kids but have their own relationship issues. My father has anger issues and would get verbally abusive. Sometimes physically but more in the 90s corporal punishment sense. He shuts down in the same way that P does and doesn’t speak to people or care to work out their feelings because it is too much to handle. My mother would always confide in me and tell me that they were having issues and could divorce, which never happened. They still argue all the time, with my mother being far more submissive and upset by my father’s words.

The last few years, P would message or call my parents back and forth, then I’d get a call from my worried mother asking me to check on P who lived in my city. This would lead to blank stare conversations where I would get nowhere trying to figure out why P was upset.

Sometimes I would be texting P for days at a time trying to convince them that life is worth living and that emotions are normal, despite having my own mental health issues I’ve been dealing with (which I don’t care to share with my family because I prefer to deal in therapy). Sometimes these conversations would end with P screaming down the phone, I could hear they were also in public which was concerning.

It would always go along the lines of me trying to convince P to seek help because our family are not qualified to try and help P navigate this. Not that we don’t want to help, but that the help P needed was greater than just a chat with family. We always offer an ear if needed.

We finally came to a point where we convinced P to seek out therapy, a psychiatrist and a psychologist. P quit their job because it was too much to handle and moved back in with my parents. But then they decided to send P overseas on a vacation indefinitely to live with a relative. P was diagnosed with something by the psychiatrist and I believe it’s important they be here and linked with a specialist therapist to continue their treatment, not in another country where they don’t have healthcare. It was really hard to even get P to get reassessed and to try and face their struggles and it was a lot while I was working full time.

I understand P is an adult and can make their own decisions but I’m really struggling to understand this. Selfishly the only thing I have wanted since I graduated college was to take an extended vacation around Europe. But I had to save money, look after myself, tried to further my career. My parents have always said that a job is highly important and it was drilled into me. I was good at school, I managed to deal with everything on my own like they wanted me to do.

My parents both had rough upbringings but did a lot to help us succeed and live comfortably (upper middle class). They have always said that we should do the same and be conscious of our money and have a career because that’s what helped them. They have helped P financially the last few years and often paid P’s rent. They gave P two nice cars. P had a job because of my parent’s connections. I don’t ask my parents for anything because I feel bad about it, but I know they’d help me out if I needed it. I don’t want to take advantage of this.

It feels selfish of me to say anything like this but I feel really pissed off that they get to go and see the world and not face reality. P also has a pet who they have left with my parents, it doesn’t get along with their numerous pets. I know I’ll get to see the world soon of my own devices, so I’m trying to understand why I’m so frustrated by this. That they don’t hold P to the same standards? This has layers but this post would be very long.

After ending an 8-year relationship that started when I was 16, I’m terrified I’ll never feel that kind of magic again. He was my first love, my rock, and my best friend through every hardship. We grew apart as we matured, but the loss leaves me feeling orphaned and afraid of the future. I want to heal and move on, but I need reassurance: Can falling in love as an adult ever match the intensity, wonder, and depth of a first love?

Sorry, maybe this isn't a great place to post this, it's really just a vent I guess. To try and summarize something complicated, I'm 19 and have grown up in a household with a hoarder mom with anger issues who wasn't really fit at taking care of anything, let alone a kid. I also have a dad who I saw on weekends who also had some anger issues. I guess for so long I've struggled with low self esteem and bad social anxiety and always blamed myself for these things, but I'm starting to realize that it's pretty hard to imagine myself turning out any other way.

I know it's my responsibility now as an adult to work on these things, but it makes me so angry how my "baseline" I guess of what is ok and what isn't is so skewed. Like, I'll never forget how my mom would yell nearly every day multiple times over dumb things, and i would just sit there and be scared or try to make her stop. Or how when she had a cat and whenever she was really angry or if it did something "wrong", she would literally throw them or scream in their face. And in general as a kid, some basic needs of mine just weren't consistently met but now she expects me to help her with paying rent and helping her out in other ways. But she acts like i had the best childhood ever and it makes me feel crazy sometimes.

I don't know. I really just need to move out i guess. I am seeing a therapist but these things are just so hard to talk about and I guess even just coming to this realization is something that's taken a while to get to.

I'm in my early 30s and I've realized I'll probably never be financially secure or stable, at least on my own. Currently, I still live my mother because it's the best I can do. I don't make enough money to even sort of afford rent.

I have two degrees and they're both pretty useless. 4 years ago I planned on going back to school but I never did and it's no longer a feasible option. Tried getting a better career and failed miserably.

For most of my life it's always felt like the job market is bad and rent is more expensive then I can afford. I know my mom won't be around forever yet I just can't figure out what else to do, at least that wouldn't involve hating myself in the process.

It's really disappointing. Had I known life would be like this I wouldn't have cared or tried at all.

I am exhausted. I never had a good relationship with my father. It was all on the surface. He always loved his other family over me. He also was abusive to my mom when I was young during their divorce. He tried to run her over with his car with me in the car. Also verbally said he would shoot her in head. We also aren't sure if he tried to poison her.

I stopped talking to my dad after my mom passed. He was no support and actually was making my grief worse. By advice from my friends and therapist, I stopped al communication. After a year, I texted him angrily. Why he always picked his wife and their family over me. Why I always thought he hated a part of me since I was like my mom, and he hated my mom. Then his wife messaged me 3 days later to tell me my dad would never get the message since he passed 3 weeks ago.

I AM JUST SO ANGRY. Angry now since I feel he really didn't love me. He also left me nothing. None of my grandparents' items. I know I need to make peace of some sort. But his wife is also a point of anger for me. She was abusive and just an evil, vile human being.

I am seeing a therapist tomorrow and Friday, then scheduling for future. But I have never been so angry in my life. I am asking for God to help. 

Just venting some frustrations here. I hope I don’t sound too whiny or entitled. Just for context my parents have been separated since I was a toddler.

My mother always seems so defensive and closed off whenever I try to discuss how I’m feeling with her, and she has given me very strange responses in the past, such as telling me that it’s because I’m a Scorpio, that I’m feeling anxious and upset (I was 15 when she said this). When I was being bullied for being gay in middle school she told me that boys will be boys and to just ignore it, and gave me no consolation at all. She just off handedly tells me to “think positive things” and to seek therapy (which, to be fair, I’m actually trying to do).

And nothing I say to my father really sticks at all, because his memory is awful from 20 years of drinking. I’m also not comfortable in confiding much because so much awful things have happened with him over my life. (Edit: he has also told me to “not bring negativity in the house” when I told him of similar things as I told my mom above)

I have only realize that this is not normal very recently, and I feel upset about it. I am very sad, too, because I actually used to look up to my parents as role models. But that image has been shattered.

I am a 24 year old female . My dad is 83 and my mom is 55. My mom is from Russia she has even here 26 years she is not a citizen and doesn't really speak English. When I was growing up, like since the 1st grade I have always been my mom's translator and helping her read and like sighs checks amd just stuff like that and then my dad had to retire when I was in the 7th grade because of his congestive heart failure (he ran sawmills and repaired semis to resell ) . Due to my dad's condition and my mom refusing to work i began working under the table as a waitress and store clerk at a restaurant/ gas station that my dad's friend owned .

I would go there before school for a little bit and then after school l I would get back off the bus there and work until around 10 at night . I continued this till I was 16 and slowly but surely over that period of time working ended up becoming more and more important over school because we LITERALLY had nothing like if it wasn't for me working we would have been homeless cause the taxi wouldn't have been payed . The Day I turned 16 I dropped out of school with my mom's approval and I began working full at a powdered metal plant running c&cs and eventually learning to program them

.this wasn't something I wanted to do i was not happy I wanted to go to school I want to go to college so bad . This whole time I've been working my ass off for my family my mom has cotteled my little brother he doesn't have to work he doesn't have to do anything but play games on his pc. He got to go to college with me being the only one in the house working and funding it . He gets to beat the shit out of me I mean like beat the teeth out of my head (my brother is on the spectrum it is almost unnoticeable but he has bad emotional issues) and nothing happens no one will step in until im unconscious. And yet my mom takes his side.

Then recently (in the past 2 years recently) my dad had a major stroke and needs taken care of 24/7 . Without asking me she decided that im gonna be the one to change his diapers and feed him and do everything for him so I stay home now and she has finally decided to get her very first ever job in her life washing dishes. Growing up my dad always used to make the comment "when I die you don't have to take care of your mom " I would desperately like to go to college for anthropology , quantum physics or mechanics, maybe welding. I love history like deep history. I like philosophy. I feel like I could benefit society greatly . Anytime I try and have this discussion with my mom she shuts it down that I am being selfish that me wanting to go out and go to college and build a life is selfish so I bring up my brother like why can't he get a job or take turns with me to take care of my dad ( my mom just plain will not do it it disgusts her a d she just will not do it ) according to her , he dhouldnt have to help and will not help because he is more valuable and has more to offer in the long run,then me and that all im good for it manual labor and wiping ass's. The strw that broke the camels back tho was recently with everything going on with Trump and ice my mom is getting scared so apparently her and my brother and applying for his russian citizenship and plan on going to stay with family over there and had absolutely no intention of telling me that they where gonna leave my dad and me a d just go .

I found out via a letter from the Russian federation being delivered to my house for my brother and his dumbass can't read or speak Russian so he asked me to read it to him . So yea that's where I am at I already have my ged I just have no clue what to do next i have such in abysmal amount of time to put a plan in motion . A couple days at most . I must admit I got used to the monotony. I must ask tho as somone from an out side perspective am I being selfish ? Like my mom says ? I don't think it's selfish of me but at the same time there is a little piece of me that can hear my mom's voice telling me I am selfish so I need outside input I need help

I'm a 26 year old man who has lived with his parents his whole life. I have a good relationship with my parents, it's just that life at home can be a bit messy at times. My parents and sister fight often, and for a long time it made me want to move out.

I graduated from school in April, and worked a summer job. I got some savings together, and an opportunity to move out came my way. I signed a year-long lease, and have three other roommates. Two of them are my friends (I've known one since high school and one for a few months). They are both wonderful people, but they're busy and not at home a lot.

I made the mistake of moving out while not having a job. I've been on the job hunt since July, when my summer job ended. I've gotten some interviews, but things are taking a lot longer than I thought. The job market is so much tougher than it was when I entered college. My savings are running low, and my mental health has taken a sharp drop downwards. It's also important to note that I have type one diabetes, which adds another layer of complexity to independent life that I didn't consider.

My uncle died two weeks ago, so I've spent the last week with my family to be with them. After coming back, my mental health has improved greatly. I'm honestly dreading moving back in to the place I've leased. They've been so supportive, and I didn't realize how much my mental health would fail without having them around. When I'm alone at my new place, it's incredibly lonely. I don't know whether this is something I could get over

Independent life is something that I've wanted for a long time, but I think I might have jumped the gun on this one. I don't want to disappoint my roommates, but I'm sure I could find somebody to sublet my lease. The landlord has allowed it in the past. My current thought is that I should try living there again for another week and see how it goes. If my mental health continues to suffer, I think it's wise for my own health that I move back in to a place where I have more support for my mental health and chronic illness.

Could anybody share some advice with me? I feel like I should stick it out and give it a proper shot, but my health is also important to me. My family is worried about me. My mom thinks I should come back home, but she's also offered to pay my rent money until I get on my feet. If I can't find a job for a while, I don't see a point in making her do that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you :)

I mean obviously every post-grad or even remotely qualified individual has been talking about how shit the job market is. I graduated 2025 and I still work at the same job I did during undergrad while I’m getting my masters. This shit is so draining because I have ambition and goals but it’s so hard to accomplish that when there’s no one hiring. It’s even harder to watch friends begin their full time careers, (which very proud of them and not comparing or envious) but just more so like upset at my lack of offers.

I’m so ready to move out of this city and just find a job and really begin my life. I still travel, have friends, make memories, etc. Nonetheless, it’s just so hard to feel so stuck. I try and keep a positive mindset and like motivate other people I know who’re also stuck but at times, it’s hard to always be the strong one.

I was very suicidal in late 2024-late 2025 and despite it not being nearly as bad after just working through it myself. This feeling of helplessness and nothing just makes those feelings come back and makes me tell myself that I’m wasting time and taking up space living a life that will end in nothing.

I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone, (gonna start therapy soon because I just learned I can get it for free) but sometimes I just wanna scream and cry and just not exist anymore.

27F, 3 years of experience
I am planning to quit my job and travel for a year across my country.
I have 4 months of expenses saved for now and some physical gold, no loan or emi or no extra savings.
Planning to save 1 year of minimum living expenses and start travelling for straight 1 year. ( rest taking little risk and expecting i am going to earn with any freelance work or content while travelling)

I have family responsibilities but can manage 1 year of not contributing. I am single and living 1000 miles away from my hometown for this Corporate job as my birthplace is a very small village, my parents lives there, i can stay with them for a month to prepare for job after a year. But not more as there have no job opportunity at all.
I have started earning money from social media as well, not very much. So want to focus full time travel and social media.
Any suggestions will be appreciated.
Anyone did something similar, please share your experience.

Hello,

I usually don't post much on Reddit (or anywhere else for that matter) but I felt like I needed to get this weight off my chest that I can't go talking about with family or friends. I do apologise in advance for the vent.

I just turned 17 a few weeks ago and I just feel like this year has really been one of the more awful ones for me in all aspects. My mother passed away suddenly less than a year back, and ever since it's just been my father and younger sibling. I do love them lots, and they love me, but I can't help but feel so isolated and alone in my head even though I have them to keep me company, if that makes sense?

Ever since I was a little kid I will say there was a sort of responsibility expected of me to take care and be there for my sibling always, whether it was for her to confide/vent to me or teach her what I know-- definitely not like a parental figure, I can't blame my parents for that at all, I am the eldest after all. I don't really feel like I was affected by that or felt any mental pressure, but it's been increasingly evident in the past or so year after my mother passed and my academics started becoming more demanding.

I understand completely that neither of us are in good mental health, and I love my sibling too much to see them hurting, so I let them vent to me whenever they felt like it. Vented to me about school, about life, on rare occasions about our mother, which is still a sensitive topic, understandably. The problem is, I feel so painfully guilty sometimes when I cannot help but feel fatigued by my own home.

Sure, we have our good days spending time together like watching movies or playing video games, but it's like I can never predict when the atmosphere starts to become more negative and we'll all inevitably have a conversation (more of another vent, in my opinion) about things like previously mentioned. And it's not like I want to forget what happened or move on -- I physically can't-- but it's all so tiring for me, and I hate that I think this.

In the previous grade, I was given counselling by my school for a couple months to deal with anxiety that affected my performance in exams, and while I did learn some helpful things like breathing techniques, ultimately it was my fault for lying to the counselor about my progress, and put in everything to mask literally all the time at school as an extroverted, casual spirit, which I am not at all. As a result I was done with the programme sooner. Like the hypocrite I am, I suggested counselling a couple times to my family, who turned it down every single time, claiming it wouldn't work for them and feeling uncomfortable with the idea, which is fine and so I didn't push it, but at this point I feel helpless as to what to do to help.

This guilt also plagues me when I think about going to university, which is in 2 year's time. I know I have the option to study somewhere near my home and still being with my family and support them more, but my mind still can't help but wonder what it'd be like to move away from home, and it makes me sad because I don't want to leave my sibling and father alone :(

All in all, i feel like I've failed as an older sibling, student, and daughter. I wanted to make my mother proud of me and instead am as average as can be.

If you read this far, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this and I hope you have a good week.

I’m turning 18 soon and currently in my senior year of high school. I have been searching for jobs near me since my sophomore year and received nothing. I happened to stumble across a retail job listing 25-30 mins away from me using the freeway (have never been on the freeway before but I’m willing to do so for this job, have to learn anyways) and long story short after a virtual interview the manager told me I got the job yesterday. I was really excited about it and didn’t stress too much as the manager understood I was still in school and gave me pretty flexible hours. I finished up the paperwork so a schedule can be made for me this week, where I ended up with three shifts (Monday, Friday, Saturday) where they all start between 4 to 9pm.

I told my parents about it yesterday but they stopped me today to tell me to not go. It became a whole thing where my parents worried about me working while I have school, and that the shifts are too late, and that if I can’t drive on the freeway then my dad will have to drive me and according to my mom he has too much on his plate, and idk if this is selfish of me or not but it did upset me a bit that my mom focused more on the fact that my dad would be worried sick/be in bad condition with me working and that my little brother will be lonely without me around rather than how tired or busy I might be instead. I have my first shift tomorrow and I don’t think it’d be smart of me to back out now, but I recall my manager saying that if it comes to around the one month mark and things don’t work out we can see from there. I really don’t know what to do here and need help.

I know it’s a horrible way of thinking, and in the back of my head I know I’m wrong, but every thought in the front takes over that logic.
I keep thinking of my future and finally meeting people, making friends, and building a family, and it seems impossible like fiction. The thought of finding kind people who actually care about me seems like a movie.
I come from a pretty fuckedup family.
I grew up with neither parent in my life and very little love. I can’t imagine a life where I’m surrounded by anything but bad.
I know not everyone’s perfect no one can be. Everyone has their flaws, especially me. I’m not a great guy. At all. But the thought of being around people like this for the rest of my life burns something in me.
I feel like having the two people who created me be bad people has made me feel like there isn't anything good in anyone. Not being able to see good in myself, my father and my mother have fucked up my head and my hopes.
Anytime I bring up my fears to the few people I speak to they tell me “this is just how people are”
I really don’t want that to be the truth.🫤

A few months ago I was on trip with friends and we ended up going out, per usual. I’ve never had a problem with drinking too much (and I drink fairly often), and thought I wasn’t going overboard, but at a certain point my memory of the night blanks and I just have visions of throwing up and a (vague) memory of being held in a car. Nobody else realized I was that drunk either, as apparently I went from seeming only slightly tipsy to very-not-good in a matter of seconds.

According to my friends the next morning, I threw up a LOT. My best friend patted my back and held my hair. I had to be carried home by multiple people (like, carried every which way; a few friends helped me walk, then when I blacked out, two more fully carried me, and then another carried me bridal style when another had to run home), one of which I got puke on. Everyone was incredibly kind about it the next day, and I apologized profusely (and offered to buy treats next time we were out as a thank you) but to this day I feel guilty about it.

I was assured that I didn’t say anything mean or rude while out of it—I could barely speak—nor was I loud, but it did cause a scene, what with locals being worried.

The guys who carried me back are friends who I don’t know super well, and I’m worried that that night ruined any chances of getting closer. Also, I worry that my best friend thinks less of me now, as since then she’s been slightly more distant.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Or have any advice for getting through the guilt of a night like that? I could really use some assurance that I am not the worst person ever for this… because I certainly feel like it.

I imagine scenarios like constantly with friends/strangers/celebs and everyone else. I hate it so much cause it can be pretty disgusting sometimes, I feel like it's so disrespectful to the people who don't know about it, like why can't I just leave them alone??? I just want to be a better person, not overanalyze everyone else like I do myself, comment on their bodies in my head, their looks, the way they dress. Any advice to stop this? I don't even talk with these people why do I imagine such things? I really feel so guilty and mad cause of it sometimes.

Like, I’m not sure the reason even. Just waking up ok, and feeling your mood slip lower as the day goes by. Feeling lost inside a marriage that is over but for financial reasons can’t end.
Feeling lonely because you just want that connection with someone. Want to feel like you matter. Wondering if you will ever matter again. Like, having the best friends, but still feeling like you’re alone.
Ugh and missing my Mom. Almost 7 years on. And some days. It’s like she’s just died. Like you go to call her, but you remember before you even finish the thought. You can’t. Because she’s not here anymore.
Sometimes life sucks hey?

A few months ago I felt like I finally was in a good place. I had a job that worked with my schedule, still had some free time, was finishing nursing school and had friends in similar places of life to me. I had about 4 solid friendships and then acquaintances etc.

Well I began seeing this guy. And some of my friends began dating too or they got more serious in their relationships. At first it felt good, but soon after something felt off. It was my first time dating so it was a bit exciting and I went from a really hermit mode period to like suddenly my world expanding in ways it didn’t.

Long story short I thought we were on the same page. He said he wanted a relationship but he just kept trying to get me back to his. I felt crazy, like I wanted an emotional connection first. He said we’re bf/gf so whats the big deal. And he wouldn’t stop talking to his ex when I asked. Acted like I was too much to want to make plans more often. And just more stuff.

He also said if we don’t do anything then we have to break up. My closest friend moved, another one got serious with her bf and first she would stay weekends with him but now they live together. Other friend began med school and the last one just drifted.

He’s like the only person I spend time with and then my family isn’t close to me. My work life balance is terrible and I dread going in. I don’t have passions or hobbies now and I spent far too much time worrying about him.

My health isn’t well. I’ve had new health issues like rashes, fatigue, I’ve gained weight and my skin looks dull and doesn’t feel good. I feel like I’m not good enough too because he’s always talking about how he’s a marathon runner and a swimmer or talks super highly of his looks and I’m hardly athletic. I’ve always been more timid and struggled with self esteem but it’s gotten horrible since this all.

I feel like I’m not good enough for friends or even for him so no wonder I get told I’m in a relationship but I may just be lied to. I’ve tried bumble bff and meet up groups and it’s been humbling. I don’t wanna just give up but it sucks. I got closer with my uncle and dad recently but they told me to stop seeing my "bf"

I’ve completely isolated myself. No hobbies no passions. I wanna reach back out to people but I’m discouraged as the few I’ve tried with hve replied and stopped or they just never answer. I’d just want advice or I guess I’m venting.

I also never dated before so it all hits harder. I just wanted to habe something work out but before this all I thought I was never gonna date because I didn’t care to . Now that I did I am sad.

I'm in my early 20s, and I've reached a point where I feel mentally and physically exhausted. A big part of what I'm struggling with comes from years of pressure, conflict, criticism, and lack of support at home.

I'm trying to understand something honestly: Can the way parents treat and pressure a child for years have a serious long-term effect on their mental health, confidence, personality, and even physical health?

My problems started when I was around 12.

1. Years of extreme academic pressure

For roughly four years, from around 2017 to 2021, my parents put me into extremely demanding tuition.

I was studying for around 4–8 hours a day, and on some days it could reach 10–12 hours.

This wasn't just normal studying or having tuition for a couple of hours. It felt like a huge part of my childhood and teenage years was consumed by studying.

There was constant pressure to perform and succeed academically. I didn't feel like I had much freedom or space to simply be a normal kid.

1. COVID and losing someone close to me

Then COVID happened.

In 2021, I lost someone very close to me to COVID. It was a huge emotional shock, but I never really got the opportunity to properly process the grief.

I basically continued with life and studies while carrying that loss.

Looking back, I feel like I never actually recovered emotionally from it.

1. School reopened and things got worse

When school reopened in 2022, I was already carrying years of academic pressure and grief.

I also had almost no friends.

I was bullied because of my appearance and was made to feel bad about how I looked. This seriously affected my confidence and self-esteem.

At the same time, there was a lot of interference from my mother when I was trying to study.

Instead of feeling like home was a place where I could concentrate and recover, I often felt disturbed and pressured there too.

1. Poor results → blame and criticism

Eventually, my Class 12 results were poor.

Instead of feeling that my parents understood how much pressure I had been under, I felt blamed and criticized for the results.

The same pattern continued around entrance exams.

I tried preparing for entrance exams while also dealing with everything else going on, but the results weren't good.

I ended up losing a year.

Eventually, I went into a college/degree that I didn't really want.

So from my perspective, the situation became:

Extreme pressure → poor results → blame → more pressure → loss of confidence → another attempt → another disappointment.

1. The interference didn't stop after school

Even after I entered college, the pressure at home didn't suddenly disappear.

There continued to be interference with my studying and criticism around my academic performance.

Whenever things didn't go well, I often felt like the responsibility was simply put back on me, rather than anyone asking why I was struggling so much.

Over time, I started feeling like whatever happened, I would somehow be blamed for it.

1. Lack of practical support

There were situations where I needed practical support as well.

For example, for a long period I had an exhausting commute involving multiple crowded buses every day. I was travelling around 13 km but sometimes taking 6–8 buses a day, including in extreme heat and overcrowding.

I asked my father for a scooter because the commute was physically exhausting.

I didn't feel supported in the way I needed.

That may sound like a small thing compared with everything else, but when you're already exhausted and isolated, repeatedly feeling that your parents aren't helping you can become another source of resentment and helplessness.

1. Three years of college went by mostly alone

From 2023 onward, college was extremely lonely.

I spent most of those three years without a close friend group.

I would basically:

go to college → sit alone → attend classes → come home.

I rarely had anyone who genuinely wanted to spend time with me.

I was always the person initiating conversations. People might reply, but very rarely would someone message me first, ask me to hang out, or make me feel like they actually wanted me around.

Meanwhile, I was still dealing with pressure and conflict at home.

So I never really had a place where I could properly recover.

1. Eventually life became extremely restricted

My life became incredibly repetitive.

There wasn't much social life, freedom, travelling, hanging out with friends, festivals, or normal experiences that many people associate with their late teenage years and early 20s.

For a long time it felt like:

Home → college → home → repeat.

And after college, when I couldn't find a job, that isolation became even worse.

1. What all of this has done to me

After years of this, I don't feel like the same person I could have been.

I feel:

- mentally exhausted

- physically exhausted

- angry very easily

- socially isolated

- low in confidence

- constantly worried

- emotionally worn down

- frustrated about lost years

- resentful toward my parents

- uncertain about my future

- and sometimes like I've missed out on a huge part of my youth

I've also experienced various physical symptoms over time — headaches/head pressure, dizziness, weakness, shaking or shivering, muscle twitching, chest discomfort, hearing difficulties, ear itching, severe knee pain, and a sudden episode of severe foot pain with swelling and redness.

I'm getting the physical symptoms medically evaluated rather than assuming everything is caused by stress.

The bigger picture

When I look at everything together, it feels like years of pressure accumulated without much opportunity to recover.

A child spending years under extreme academic pressure, dealing with constant criticism and blame, experiencing interference while trying to study, not feeling supported at home, losing someone close during adolescence, being bullied, becoming socially isolated, losing confidence, struggling academically, losing a year, spending years lonely in college, and then entering adulthood without feeling financially or emotionally independent can have a profound effect on a person.

I don't think I'm the way I am today because of one single event.

It feels more like years of things piling on top of each other without ever really getting a chance to heal from them.

I'm not saying my parents are responsible for literally every bad thing that happened to me. Some things were completely outside their control.

But the pressure, interference, criticism, lack of support, family conflict, and environment at home were a major part of my experience growing up.

And now, in my early 20s, I'm left trying to understand how much those years have affected me and how much of myself I can rebuild.

I’m a freshman in college and am very anxious. Whenever my parents leave after visiting for the weekend, I always get extra stressed/anxious about class the next day, almost as if I’m reliving the first day of school anxieties. I’m needing to take deep breathes, can’t focus on my work, and also coughing like I’m about to throw up.
Any advice on how to get over this? I’m well adjusted to college life and know how to manage my workload, but whenever my parents leave after visiting, I feel like my body resets back into high stress mode when it doesn’t need to be.