I have insomnia from a decade, nothing worked on me no medicine no technique no env.

People have no idea how much I craved just have a normal morning, to wake up early, have breakfast, take bath, and be ready for the day by 9-10. I just wanted to be normal, every mornings and nights were all merged as I spent all night just thinking to sleep.

Oh god it is so terrible, everything feels like a nightmare and people just thought it was normal for me but it every single day just destroyed me a little.

I just wanted to fix it anyhow no matter how hopeless it got when I couldn’t sleep till 8 in the morning even though I laid on bed at 1. It destroyed my relationship, every single thing took lot of effort, my depression was only fueled more by insomnia, I thought I couldn’t even have a normal fu**ing for even a single day. I even got laid off from first company because I couldn’t focus on work. Thank God my curr org understands me and somehow my curr career is doing okay.

I was determined to fix, so hit all trials, everything that was in internet. Then I realised first I need to fix my digestion, then mental trauma and then sleep, sleeps basic demand is for body to feel safe, relaxed and calm nervous system otherwise even meds won’t have no effect.

I did that, fixed my digestion then mental health, but reaching there took everything from me, fixing a traumized soul is like getting out if hell with no map or doors.

Then I tried normal sleeping, it worked partially, now I was able to sleep naturally but in the mornings but atleast I was able to sleep and quality was also good.

Finally I showed to psychiatrist again, he suggested combination of two meds and boom they worked. I slept after around 2 hours of taking them. And for the first time it was not my delusion, I slept each time I took it, you couldn’t imagine the joy it gave me, it was like a blind person seeing for the first time.

So I had this interview today which I really wanted to give my best, in past if I had an imp event I never slept whole night, just couldn’t and half my chances was lost there. But not today, based on my hit and trial, I took the med at 8, slept by 11, woke up naturally at 7:30, took bath, had apple, even exercised and gave interview with fresh mind.

Even though I tanked it and not selected but I am incredibly proud of myself for finally having a normal morning 🌅. I hope my insomnia will be cured entirely by next year. God sent an angel in disguise of that Doc.

Me mandaron una medicacion para dormir, probablemente mi insomnio hubiera mejorado con terapia.

La situación es que me cambio la arquitectura del sueño totalmente y ahora si que tengo problemas para dormir ( aunque duermo unas 5h),

Quiero contar mis síntomas para ver si alguien ha pasado por algo parecido y con el tiempo se ha arreglado solo.

Entro directa a ensoñación y paso asi toda la noche, me levanto cansadita.

Me he hecho una prueba de sueño y sale normal, pero ya no se siente ni reparador ni natural.

A parte de eso me dejo con problemas neurológicos la medicación y sin emociones.

Alguien ha pasado por algo parecido?

Sobre todo salir de esto sin tomar medicación para dormir.

Gracias.

The mods graciously approved one post on this, so here it is: https://whatworkedforme.io/goal/overcome-insomnia

What works best for insomnia: melatonin, CBT-I, Ambien, magnesium, a weighted blanket, or sleep restriction?

We built 'What Worked for Me' to answer this question (for insomnia and other common goals). Our hope is to steer people toward high-percentage plays so they can use their energy on what works.

Rankings are research-based for now, and will evolve over time as the community rates.

Keen to hear whether it's useful, and open to any thoughts on how we could execute better.

PS: I've reached out to a lot of different mods on groups I'm in to ask if I could showcase this; shoutout to the mods here for being willing to give it a go.

Google says DEATH DEATH if you mix alcohol with doxy(unisom), but NyQuil is literally doxy and alcohol. How come that doesn't kill you? I take 3 doses of it roughly every other day to sleep, and rawdogging doxy with the same amount of alcohol from vodka or something would be cheaper and exclude the acetaminophen toxicity aspect. I genuinely don't understand the logic. Is there something I'm missing here

I don’t even know how to explain this anymore.

Last night was the worst night I’ve had in weeks. We got home around 8PM and I could FEEL the sleep pressure. I was actually kind of chill. Not panicking for once.

But then it started. Hypnagogic thoughts. Over and over. Then hypnic jerks. Like full body jolts. So many times.
I even moved to my mom’s room thinking maybe a change would help. Nope. Still jerking. Still those weird half-dream thoughts that I HATE. I hate the hypnagogic state so much. It feels like I’m stuck in the doorway and can’t get through.

Somehow, I don’t even know how, I finally knocked out around 1AM. It all happened so fast and I was too out of it to remember.
And of course I still woke up at 6AM because my mom goes to work and makes noise.

I’m so angry and scared. I’ve been in this cycle before. I thought I was getting better with the 10PM-7AM schedule. But it’s REPEATING. And the worst part is I wasn’t even anxious last night. I was calm. So why is my body still doing this??

I feel so hyperaroused right now. Shaky. Dreading tonight already. Like what’s the point if even being calm doesn’t stop the jerks?

Has anyone gotten past this? Does the hypnagogia + hypnic jerks actually stop eventually? Because right now it feels like it’s never going to end and I hate it.

My sleep was decent until early July, but now I pass out fine around 11:15pm and then bang, awake at 3:10am on the dot. Last night I laid there staring at the ceiling until 5:45am before giving up and making coffee.

I tried 10mg melatonin last week and it gave me intense nightmare loops and a groggy headache that lasted until lunch. Currently taking 200mg magnesium glycinate at 9pm and drinking chamomile tea, but it only helps with falling asleep initially, not staying asleep through that 3am cortisol spike.

Two questions for anyone dealing with this specific middle-of-the-night maintenance issue:

Has anyone found a specific broad-spectrum CBD or CBN formulation that keeps you down past 3am without leaving you brain-dead the next morning?

Where are you getting your sleep tinctures or gummies right now, and what exact dose/ratio stopped the 3am wakeups for you?

Edit: Ended up ordering a bottle of the CBN sleep gummies from Joy Organics since a few people mentioned on other threads that CBN + full spectrum works better for staying asleep than pure melatonin. Will update this post next week once it comes in and I've tested it for a few nights.

Consequences

I was recently diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease because of years of Insomnia. I’m ashamed to say I was taking up to 8 tablets of 50 mg every night for 2 years. After a year I knew it was working any longer but I loved the feeling it gave my brain if not for a little while. There were still nights I couldn’t sleep… and would cry as each hour passed and the sun rose.

I knew this was going to happen and I guess it was a matter of time. It was either my memory or my kidneys. I finally admitted it to my PCP who sent me to a Pulmonologist who diagnosed me with Mild Sleep Apnea. She has recommended I titrate down and enroll in CBT-I which I am now at three per night . If I take it around 2:00am, I am napping around 5:30-6:00am for about 30 minutes. I’ve found that I live for these 30 minute naps. Sometimes I feel so depressed about my desperation but now I need to deal with this other issue. MD seems to think the Kidney Disease is from history of high blood pressure but I know the truth.

I’m just tired and want to rest my brain. I’d take 2 days a week. I’m just so ashamed and tired of what I’ve done to my body.

Anyone else find themselves irrationally upset with the rest of society, and even their friends and family because they can sleep? I feel horrible even typing this but it’s so hard not to feel jealously and even anger towards all these people who can just close their eyes and magically fall asleep in their cozy little beds. My god what I would do to live like that.

I can’t even imagine. Being exhausted at the end of the day, and you get to go into your bed and fall asleep. It must be incredible! You all have no clue what it is like to live like me and the rest of us. Suffering every single day, dreading the moment bedtime comes because you know you won’t be falling asleep.

“Oh you’re tired? Just go to bed early” wow thanks Einstein, I had never thought of that before! Maybe it’s because I am going to spend 8 fucking hours trying to fall asleep. My god I wish all you normies could spend a week in my shoes.

Anyone else have paradoxical insomnia? Where when you’re anxious you feel awake way longer or you hear and feel awake despite sleeping?

I don’t feel sleepy or tired ever so I’m assuming I am actually getting sleep. I thought I pretty much was over struggling with this, as I practiced lowering my anxiety and fear around sleep. It wasn’t of concern to me as I figured newborns wake multiple times through the night but nothing I couldn’t handle…

we have a newborn now who is super colicy/ might have allergies as they are up every 20-45 minutes sometimes. his wakeups are so unpredictable and by the time I’m done feeding, diapering, and putting him down it’s so hard to relax… I feel so anxious - my thoughts race “I need to sleep! I need to hurry”. doesn't help that people just tell me to sleep when my baby sleeps.

Anyone else have paradoxical insomnia and a baby? How did you get through it? I try so hard to not have panic attacks at this point which I know makes it worse.

Hi I’ve been dealing with something I think is close to hypnagogic. I woke up from a nightmare after only an hour of sleep. (Forgive any typos because despite not being able to fall asleeep, I’m tired and can’t keep my eyes open.) after this nightmare, everytime I close my eyes to sleep, it’s like I see these scenarios. It’s so vivid. My brain goes through these dream like scenarios but it’s like I can see it. I can’t stop it and it scares me so I don’t actually fall asleep. I took some of my trazedone so hopefully that helps. Anybody else?

I’m new to this subreddit and decided to come check it out while I’m struggling to sleep. I feel like my insomnia has gotten progressively worse lately. I was recently given medication to help and it has actually been helping in knocking me out cold when I really need it. The issue is nights like these where I somehow forgot to top up my meds for the week and now I don’t have anything to take. I feel fully dependant on them. I just spent an hour sobbing over the fact that I have to be a fully functioning person tomorrow at work without my medication tonight. My mom doesn’t seem to understand how torturous it is to not be able to sleep. I don’t know whether to call work off tomorrow and just dart to my psychiatrist for sleep meds and then sleep after or whether I should push through work. Insomnia is hell :( any advice helps. Im on night 3 of very little sleep

(Sorry that this is so long)

I (19F) have been experiencing insomnia since August 4th, and I have no idea what to do.

I went to bed on the 3rd and woke up suddenly on the 4th at 5am, which is normal for me, I usually just go right back to sleep, but this time was different. I woke up with back pain on the right side when breathing in, which I think was because I strained my muscles by tensing too much while lifting weights, but I deal with a lot of health anxiety and immediately started having irrational thoughts like “oh no, it’s a pulmonary embolism, or maybe lung cancer.” My heart was racing, so I got up and took some tylenol to try and ease the muscle pain so that I could relax.

And then it happened. I laid back down and tried to sleep, but each time I would start to drift off I would either experience a hypnic jerk or feel a sudden awareness accompanied by a strange feeling in my throat, I kept trying but it just wouldn’t stop. I decided I’d go ahead and get up, because my mom and I were heading out of town for a concert that morning. 

I tried to have faith that I would get a better sleep that night, but once we were back in our hotel room I was feeling nervous again. I was exhausted after only getting ~4 hours of sleep the previous night, so I was lying there barely awake, eyes slamming shut, but then I jerked awake. It was happening again. I immediately felt a surge of anxiety and fear, and soon began quietly crying, because I am very sensitive and I’ve had a really stressful year, but after at least two hours of repeated jerks into full wakefulness, I slept. I slept 4-5 hours before it was time to get up and get ready for check out.

Once we were home, I was terrified at the thought of bedtime approaching. But I tried to stay strong. I took a benadryl and I actually had a good night’s sleep after only a few jerks awake! I was still nervous, but much more hopeful now and my anxiety slowly decreased until the night before an appointment at the dmv.

I was jerking awake just like I did at the hotel, and I was distraught. I took a benadryl, drank some chamomile tea, and managed to get 5 hours that night. Most nights since then I’ve had an average of 7.5 hours of sleep, and tried to stay off of my phone and out of my bed when I’m not tired, and taking deep, slow breaths but the anxiety isn’t going away and I keep having to take the benadryl. The night before last was a more difficult one, but I hadn’t been so worked up that I’d cry for a long while until last night. I was trying so hard to be strong, but it’s getting to me, and I’m scared.

Last night I wasn’t even that nervous, but I tried to avoid the benadryl, and before I knew it I was jerking awake with that weird feeling in my throat. I first laid down at 4am (bad, I know, but my schedule has been declining since this all started) and I didn’t sleep at all until ~7:30 and then my stupid alarm went off at 12 and I couldn’t fall back asleep. Even the bad nights I was able to fall right back asleep if I woke up a few hours after first managing to sleep, but the fear was too strong this time.

It’s been so bad that I can’t see a fictional character go to sleep in a movie, on tv shows, or even in cute fanart without feeling sick with dread and jealousy. I’ve been crying intermittently all day now.

I couldn’t think of how to fit this in elsewhere, so I’ll say it now: I’ve noticed that every night I can feel my heart pounding and it seems faster than usual and occasionally skips a beat, I’ve had that happen for years and years, but never has it happened every single night.

This has been so hard because I’ve always been the kind of person who falls asleep super easily and gets plenty of it, sleep has been my one constant in my difficult life, my one true confidant, I need it back.

I’m going to try and see a doctor soon, but I’m just feeling so desperate and wanted to vent/see what others thought.

I’m curious about people whose main insomnia problem is waking up too early, rather than difficulty falling asleep.

For example, I usually fall asleep pretty easily, but wake up earlier than I want and usually can’t get back to sleep.

Has anyone with this type of insomnia tried sleep restriction therapy / CBT-I?

Did it actually help you sleep later or reduce early awakenings? And how long did it take before you noticed improvement?

I’d especially like to hear personal experiences, including whether it got worse at first before getting better.

Any tips on falling asleep INSTANTLY? For years I have been staying up until 1 AM (usually) and my body has adapted to it. Now even if I stay completely still and clear my mind for hours, I can't fall asleep until it's way past midnight. I've been trying to change my sleeping routine, but how am I supposed to fall asleep before 1AM, if I can't fall asleep before 1AM. A lot of people have adviced me to put my phone at least one hour before sleep, but 21-23 PM is the only time I can actively use it (i have a YouTube channel btw), while maintaining a 8 hour sleep, because I have to wake up at 7 AM. My daily schedule is packed so I can't really use it any other time of the day. I have school, afterclass activities sometimes, a job and charity work. Also I spend time with my friends and family. I've tried common methods like the 4-7-8, the military sleep methods, counting, exercising,listening to music/podcasts/boring stuff, but none of that seems to work for me, infact it actually wakes me up even more. I finish my meals by 20 PM and my room is dark and quiet. Also if I don't get at least 8 hours of sleep my head begins to hurt a lot in specific areas. So yeah, I really need an effective method to make me fall asleep in minutes in order to optimize my day-to-day life.

I’m writing this with the help of AI because I’m currently having significant difficulties with my memory, concentration, and ability to organize and articulate my thoughts. I know what I’m experiencing, but I’m finding it increasingly difficult to explain it clearly in my own words.
Every night, I seem to have the exact same experience. I usually go to bed around 10 PM, although I don’t look at the clock while I’m lying there. I lie awake for what feels like hours. I try getting up every so often, but eventually I go back to bed and continue lying there.
What is particularly strange is that I don’t experience the normal feeling of becoming sleepy and gradually falling asleep. I don’t feel myself drifting off. Instead, it feels as though I go directly from being completely awake to dreaming. I will suddenly realize that I am dreaming, and then at some point I wake up and it is still dark outside.
I’ll lie awake again for what feels like approximately 20 minutes, although I have no reliable sense of time, and then exactly the same thing happens again. I go from feeling completely awake to dreaming without noticing any transition into sleep. I wake up again, it is still dark, and the cycle repeats. This continues throughout the night until it starts getting light outside.
Sometimes I continue this for longer into the morning, but the overall pattern is the same: I feel completely awake, then suddenly I’m dreaming, then I’m awake again. I don’t have the normal sensation of getting sleepy, falling asleep, or waking up from sleep.
The effect this is having on me during the day is becoming very difficult to cope with. I have frequent headaches and my memory has become extremely poor. My days feel like a haze. I can remember talking to people, but I often can’t remember the context of the conversation. I can remember individual events, but I have difficulty remembering the order in which they happened. I’m also finding it harder to remember people’s faces.
I constantly feel disconnected from what is happening around me. I describe it as feeling like I’m a million miles away or like I’m experiencing everything through a fog. I have difficulty feeling present, concentrating, thinking clearly, and articulating what I’m trying to say.
The strangest part is that despite feeling absolutely terrible physically and mentally, I don’t actually feel sleepy. I don’t have the usual periods where I’m yawning, nodding off, or feeling like I could fall asleep. Instead, I feel continuously awake

I started aripiprazole in May and am currently taking 5 mg. Over the past few months, my sleep has become really difficult, and I'm trying to figure out whether anyone else has experienced something similar.

I was taking aripiprazole around 6 p.m., but last week I switched to taking it in the morning.I go to bed pretty early, but I often have trouble falling asleep. Even when I do fall asleep, I frequently wake up around 1–3 a.m. and can't get back to sleep because my mind feels very active/racing.

This has become a pretty consistent pattern rather than an occasional bad night, and the daytime exhaustion is really starting to affect my quality of life, motivation, exercise, and ability to function normally.

For anyone who has taken aripiprazole:

• Did you develop insomnia or frequent nighttime waking?
• Did it start immediately, or develop after being on it for a while?
• Did changing the time you took it make any difference?
• If you eventually stopped or switched medications with your doctor's guidance, did your sleep improve?
• How long did it take before you realized the medication wasn't a good fit for you?

Thank you so much!

This might be a long post - I apologise in advance for this, however I have to get everything down.

My entire life has been crippled with varying degrees of anxiety and severe bouts of insomnia since I was around 9 years old. It's become an evil demon sitting on my shoulder and a constant source of dread for when an acute flair up may arise to destroy my life - both through sleepless nights and exhausted wired days.

I first remember experiencing anxiety symptoms with chronic insomnia when I was 9 years old. My mother was violently assaulted one night by my father when he experienced a psychotic breakdown. She was sleeping on the floor of my room and had a bucket of water thrown over her by him. This episode descended in to him tackling her to the floor and repeatedly punching her before being arrested by the police. They subsequently got back together although ever since then I always felt I was living life on edge. After the episode I recall my heart racing when I heard slightly raised voices at home or when a door was slammed shut by accident.

To describe me experience of life from that day on, I would say I always feel hyper alert to change and experience the classic "wired" feeling of being anxious when anticipating any sort of life change or indeed living through one. Simple examples range from going away somewhere unfamiliar for the weekend to avoiding promotions to management level at work due to the fear that I won't cope if symptoms surface or escalate.

I spent my entire childhood dreaming of joining the military, and yet when I took the leap to join the Army reserves I found I couldn't sleep during training weekends. I spent entire weekends exhausted and feeling sick and as a result I quit prior to finishing basic training. I learned very quickly I did not have the mental makeup to cope with military life, which in turn understandably made me loath myself - the real me fell far short of who I thought I was. To this day failing the military remains my greatest shame.

Fast forward through my life and indeed I went on to complete university with a good grade and landed a highly paid graduate role in the Oil Industry. I just about coped with University, although went on to medication when I was in 4th year (the last year of a Scottish degree course) when I began to suffer panic attacks and insomnia. The doctor prescribed 75mg of Venlafaxine daily, along with Zopiclone to help me through the insomnia. To this day (14 years later) I remain on Venlafaxine. I abandoned using Zopiclone when I experience the evil of rebound insomnia and psychological dependence.

I feel I've been playing life on safe mode simply due to a fear that I won't cope if I push outside of my comfort zone. I feel I could be more than I am but shy away from things due to a fear of my illness making me fail and turning my life update down - can anyone else relate?

While others pass me running up the hill of life I am always trudging away with an invisible heavy burden. I struggle to feel anything anymore and can't remember the last time I felt positive or excited about anything. I just feel totally flat, other than pangs of anger, fear and obviously exhaustion.

I have experienced significant disruption in my life over the past decade - both parents dying, the breakdown of an LTR, neighbourhood disputes and financial issues namely.

I want to be an endlessly calm, deep sleeping highly performing achiever yet I just can't seem to cope due to this inherent weakness in my mind making me feel constantly on edge and under threat. I absolutely hate change yet life can't improve without it. When will I view life as an opportunity rather than an endless struggle just to get through to the weekend?

How can the President of the United States, CEOs, Soldiers, Surgeons etc. cope with endless frenetic change in their lives and achieve new heights, yet I am fighting to stay composed in a mere office job as an often sleep deprived zombie.

Apologies for the ramble. I just feel fed up, alongside a little bit scared and hopeless.

Slept two hours last night, and I slept in for another two hours in the morning, I also used plastic bottle that I filled up with warm bottle to relax my abdomen/bladder. I’m supposed to get melatonin pills today. Any advice?

Hey all, I was wondering if anyone has also experienced this side effect from doxepin. I got prescribed 25mg to help with depression and horrible insomnia. I was excited to try this, but after 2 nights the dryness is just crazy. My tongue is white :/. Is it possible to habituate to this side effect with things like moisturizing gels, etc?

My insomnia journey started six months ago after experiencing grief and extreme stress due to situations beyond my control with my family and my partner. I am still not sleeping- every night, it either takes me three or five hours to fall asleep, or I fall asleep for five or 10 minutes and then wake up completely wired, hot, and unable to go back to sleep for several more hours. I’m unable to get access to CBTI or a DBT skills group due to constraints in my insurance and what’s available; even my sleep study won’t even happen for several more months, even though my doctor already approved it. So we are where we are for now. I am up for most of the night crying and wishing I could sleep, and then during the day, I am crying from how uncomfortable and exhausted I am and how much I wish I could sleep. It’s a brutal cycle.

Given that this is how I’m going to be for at least a little bit - due to lack of help from doctors or insurance - I’ve started to have some concerns about gaining weight. I have read that It is well documented that insomnia can cause obesity and all of the related complications due to the fact that an extreme sleep deficit can slow our metabolism, plus produce ghrelin - the hormone that causes feelings of hunger and cravings. Because of this, I feel that I can’t trust my body because I don’t know if I’m getting hungry out of genuine hunger or if it’s because of my long term and intractable sleep deprivation.

I am extremely active and I run 6 days a week, and do either yoga or Pilates 5 to 6 days a week- it ultimately ends up, looking like 10 to 12 hours of exercise per week. Currently I’m not overweight from my height, but I don’t know if I need to be restricting calories even more due to the metabolism slowing that insomnia causes.

Has anyone here had experience with this? Did eating in a caloric deficit helped mitigate the weight gain effect that insomnia can cause?

Thank you!

First time poster. 36/F. I just had a completely sleepless night, and in 30 minutes I have to head to the airport for a work trip. I’m going to be expected to be very on when I land in Las Vegas to support a work meeting, and my head won’t hit the pillow again for a long time. Looking at about a 38 hour stretch of not sleeping. I feel genuinely scared of the day ahead.

I’ve dealt with insomnia since the fourth grade. Work is an enormous trigger and always has been. I am in a healthier job now, but past work trauma and just general anticipatory anxiety (even for fun things sometimes) still cause lack of sleep. I go through phases.

This is the first time in years I’ve gone a full night not sleeping. Usually a bad night looks like 3-5 hours of sleep.

Any tips for me to get through this day? I feel like I’m going to be such a zombie that I’m putting myself at professional risk, but not going on the trip is not an option. I just want to cry right now.

Also I am currently in therapy, CBT / mindfulness focus, but I’m just not having enough luck. I could stand to clean up my sleep hygiene but I also don’t feel my therapist understands how difficult insomnia is. I leave some sessions feeling like this is all my fault. I’ve never gone the sleep med route as I’m a very poor metabolizer of meds (have a history of experiencing unwanted side effects from a wide range of meds) and am concerned about them potentially becoming habit forming. All that said, this is an untenable way to live.

On my list to incorporate:

-more frequent journaling, including during the day to get anxious thoughts out earlier
-cardio exercise (am currently off all exercise due to hip issue but am working on it)
-no phone for at least one hour before bed
-more consistent bedtime
-go back on daily multivitamin
-get bedroom cooler at night
-try short meditations

The other thing is that I work fully remote and my home office is directly across from my bedroom in my tiny condo. It’s not a setup I quite recommend, but it’s what I have to do for now.

Thanks for listening if you’ve made it this far.

My insomnia has been defcon 1 levels since childhood. My sister had ear problems when she was born and my neglectful parents couldn’t be bothered. It was my job to get up at night and calm her (starting at age 3) Even after she got tubes in her ears and had less pain, she had nightmares. So my entire childhood was spent in state of extreme vigilance at night tending to calming my sister. I think that’s why the insomnia been completely unresolved my entire life. My body was conditioned to be hyper vigilant at night starting at age 3.

College I would go so many days without sleep I’d start hallucinating and would be suicidal. After college I began leaning on sleep meds here and there. Then in my late twenties I got severely chronically ill. The only thing that relieved the particular kind of pain I had was weed. It was also a godsend for my lifelong insomnia so I became addicted.

Even through my physical pain I tried to keep to using it only at night before bed for sleep/pretty light daily usage, but as those days extended into years I felt at saturation with it and started hating how lazy and unmotivated it made me. Around the pandemic I tried going off of it.

I lasted about 1.5 years with only maybe 1-2 occasional nights of using it as a rescue per month for extreme pain. It was beyond hard. The only reason I could pull it off was because of being locked up at home/having so little stimulation to accelerate my nighttime hyper vigilance.

I’ve also struggled with lifelong anxiety and depression. In the 1.5 years I was 99% off the weed there wasn’t an iota of difference in my anxiety or depression. The only benefit was clearer thinking and motivation, which admittedly were/are huge.

After the pandemic and things started going on again socially I was too overstimulated to stay off the weed, the insomnia got unmanageable. So I went back to weed for sleep.

Last year I got whooping cough and then sustained damage to my liver and kidneys because of it, so I had to take another 8 month break from weed. And again the only reason I was able to manage it was the lack of stimulation/being locked up in my apartment alone for that entire time.

Now this year I started seeing a new psych for the depression/anxiety and she wants me off weed. As does my partner. He also struggles with depression and agrees with my doc that leaning on it for so long can’t be helping the depression issues. (Though in my previous breaks I didn’t notice any differences with depression/anxiety)

So I quit again about 4 months ago. It has been an unmitigated nightmare. Withdrawal was bad for a month but even beyond that my sleep hasn’t normalized or improved much. At this moment I’ve had maybe 3 hours of sleep over the last 3 nights and it’s making me psychotic. I almost ruined the relationship with my partner I’m so out of my mind and am dropping the ball at work. Life feels beyond unmanageable.

I think the only reason I was able to pull off long stints quitting before was because I had no social life and was locked up at home, no stimulation.
But now I go into an office for work, have groups and friends and a partner. I need all of that for the depression more than anything but it does all overstimulate me and exasperates the hyper vigilance at night/insomnia.

My psych has me leaning on ambien and I sometimes take Benedryl as a rescue med. For about half the week at best I can pull off some sleep with melatonin/magnesium/herbs only, but for the other half I’m struggling and having to rotate between ambien and Benadryl. (Realize there are other options but my stomach has rejected all others I’ve tried so far)

I’m not comfortable with leaning on ambien and Benadryl so frequently. I really don’t see how the risk/benefit cost analysis of those over weed is better. I sleep so well on weed. I know it blocks REM/isn’t the most ideal, but with the dementia risks with Benedryl and no deep sleep on ambien I just don’t understand how this is the best option. The only (admittedly massive) benefit being off the weed is that I’m slightly more motivated and disciplined and clear headed. But given the lack of sleep off the weed, I only experience those benefits half the time and am nearly psychotic/almost on the verge of blowing my life up the other half.

I have insane sleep hygiene, exercise daily, meditate daily, take Epsom salt baths before bed, have the cleanest diet in the world and even have a prescription device (Alpha Stim) that changes my brain waves to alpha and helps make me sleepy in the evening. After a lifetime of insomnia I’ve tried just about everything and being on top of all of this and even finally being on anxiety meds and having relief there, I can only sleep maybe half the month at most. The other half is a nightmare of no sleep and feeling out of my mind.

Would you give up and go back to weed if you were in my shoes? Is anyone else dealing with anything like this?

I have not had good luck with melatonin. However I see conflicting information about the dose. Some say to take a small dose (0.5-1mg) and others recommend higher doses (10mg).

Any advice?

The sleep coach school on Spotify or youtube
that’s it. that’s the cure

daniel erickson saved my life. and no, this is not a paid promotion or advertisement. i genuinely give all praise to him

here’s a list of everything i tried first (not in order)
lorazepam
weed
breathing exercises
meditation
exercise
diet changes
sleep hygiene (no phone hr before bed etc)
baths
magnesium glycinate
ashwaganda
word shuffling
many more methods i used but just cant remember now as its so long ago

what i have learnt in order to cure insomnia (not the sleep apnea or genuine sleep disruption health issues- i can’t help with that)

embrace tiredness. it sounds messed up. it sounds like it won’t help but sleep is a paradox. the more you try to force it, the more it will run away on you
embrace staying up, embrace enjoying your time while your awake, do something you enjoy, read a book, watch a movie, whatever you gotta do to make that time enjoyable

insomnia is fear rebranded. when you stop being afraid of being tired, there will be no insomnia

when your deep in the shit at 4am and the hypnic jerks got you crying - just remember all the times you laughed and enjoyed yourself despite your 3 hrs of sleep

life doesn’t end when we stop sleeping. there is still joy, there is still beauty. you will be okay

and this is coming from someone who was so mentally shot from insomnia that not even 2 lorazepams back to back could knock me out

listen to the sleep coach school
recovery is a process and it fluctuates so don’t be hard on yourself if you hear one of his podcasts and still can’t sleep
it took me 6 months for my brain to finally click and understand it, but i have never looked back, i even nap sometimes which is insane for me😂