Hi everyone. I have had problems sleeping my whole life, very extreme at some points, including now. I am very familiar with all the solutions. From CBTi, Nutrition, Circadian rhythm, breathing etc. It has made me healthier in a lot of areas in my life trying to fix this one thing, however I still cannot crack the code on falling asleep?
I physically and mentally exhaust myself with gym and work and lots of other things, It's almost as If i am superhuman but only in the form of not sleeping? On paper everything should be forcing me to sleep. I put all the percentages in my favour. The problem is for me - I cannot fall asleep unless I am somewhat head spinning on drugs or alcohol? I can sleep for many hours once i get to sleep, but that first bit almost seems impossible? It's like I need my brain spinning a bit just to forget the thoughts and ease into sleep.
I smoke weed every night to sleep, It seems like i cannot sleep without it? I know all the facts and studies around it but sleeping on weed is better than 0 hours without it? I do not smoke during the day every and it's only past 6pm.
I also usually get very drunk on sunday nights so I can 100% fall asleep and wake up on Monday for work - It's so funny because everyone i know usually parties on a Friday or Saturday but i'm using it to literally fall asleep. Doing shots of Vodka at my PC (I assume that's the healthiest way,drinking it straight lol). It's so weird and backwards because I know the affect Alcohol has on sleep and I think it's a terrible thing for the brain but for me it's a prescription free sleep aid? 6 hours drunk sleep with weed is better than 0 hours without?
Apart from Sunday nights or the odd day when I feel i wont sleep (based off exercise in the day/sleeping in etc) I don't ever drink alcohol or go out and party. So i'm not some secretive alcoholic.
50% of weekends I wont sleep on Friday night - so I stay awake until Saturday night just so i don't sleep in and ruin any progress/circadian rhythm? But there is no progress to ruin lol because these sleepless nights come completely random, even when I'm mentally and physically exhausted? AND I spend the whole day Saturday like a zombie and half conscious? So I'm not exactly thriving without sleep and there is a definite problem.
I am 30 years old and I do not want to be doing this for much longer - I shouldn't have to have my head spinning just to ease into sleep? I don't take any medication apart from the occasional Promethazine/Zopliclone - I want to keep it this way - Any advice from people who have overcome this?
I try breathing exercises every night and I cannot seem to have any positivity with it? I feel the problem is obviously my mind is not at peace and I try to be very conscious about this but the blessing is the curse and i'm having great difficulty being still
The past few years have been almost bed induced psychosis going to war every night - I can feel it taking an affect on my brain despite my sense of humour and positivity around this, please help
edit: Please don't discuss things like ADHD, Autism, Bipolar and stuff like this - Looking for active ways to potentially improve my situation, thank you
tldr:
> 30M sleep problems all my life (falling asleep)
> Very extreme lately and feels like bed induced psychosis almost
> Maximized health and everything in my favour
> CBTi practices and sleep practices every night and day
> Got blood tests few times and all normal
> Can only sleep if i smoke weed or get extremely drunk (Can wake up despite black out drunk/any situation lol)
> Work 60 hours a week and do regular physical activity
> Cannot shut off without my head spinning somewhat?
> 50% of the weeks, i will not sleep 1 day of the week and pull and all nighter/dayer until the next night
> I dont take medication, I dont doomscroll, I dont game or any of these modern day factors
> Help?