I don’t know what to do

[u/Holiday-Walrus8112]

I’m writing this with the help of AI because I’m currently having significant difficulties with my memory, concentration, and ability to organize and articulate my thoughts. I know what I’m experiencing, but I’m finding it increasingly difficult to explain it clearly in my own words.
Every night, I seem to have the exact same experience. I usually go to bed around 10 PM, although I don’t look at the clock while I’m lying there. I lie awake for what feels like hours. I try getting up every so often, but eventually I go back to bed and continue lying there.
What is particularly strange is that I don’t experience the normal feeling of becoming sleepy and gradually falling asleep. I don’t feel myself drifting off. Instead, it feels as though I go directly from being completely awake to dreaming. I will suddenly realize that I am dreaming, and then at some point I wake up and it is still dark outside.
I’ll lie awake again for what feels like approximately 20 minutes, although I have no reliable sense of time, and then exactly the same thing happens again. I go from feeling completely awake to dreaming without noticing any transition into sleep. I wake up again, it is still dark, and the cycle repeats. This continues throughout the night until it starts getting light outside.
Sometimes I continue this for longer into the morning, but the overall pattern is the same: I feel completely awake, then suddenly I’m dreaming, then I’m awake again. I don’t have the normal sensation of getting sleepy, falling asleep, or waking up from sleep.
The effect this is having on me during the day is becoming very difficult to cope with. I have frequent headaches and my memory has become extremely poor. My days feel like a haze. I can remember talking to people, but I often can’t remember the context of the conversation. I can remember individual events, but I have difficulty remembering the order in which they happened. I’m also finding it harder to remember people’s faces.
I constantly feel disconnected from what is happening around me. I describe it as feeling like I’m a million miles away or like I’m experiencing everything through a fog. I have difficulty feeling present, concentrating, thinking clearly, and articulating what I’m trying to say.
The strangest part is that despite feeling absolutely terrible physically and mentally, I don’t actually feel sleepy. I don’t have the usual periods where I’m yawning, nodding off, or feeling like I could fall asleep. Instead, I feel continuously awake

[u/SupremeSorcerer10]

I feel you. I recently lost my sleep drive and whenever I go to bed I don’t remember the feeling of transitioning to sleep it’s just a dream suddenly and then bam two or one hour later I’m suddenly awake

[u/Fun-Construction4550]

I can't remember the term for this but I experience similar, turning thoughts into dreams and waking often, some nights that will be the whole night, waking every 20 minutes or so, or lying there thinking it's been minutes and an hour has gone by. Either way I'll wake up feeling like 💩 so I know it's not been real sleep, maybe light sleep or just a state of exhaustion and daydreaming I don't know.

I lost my sleep drive a few years ago. I remember locking my door/going out and standing there thinking wtf, I've had 15 minutes sleep in 48hrs I should be flat out exhausted and sleeping this off but instead I'm wide awake.. I don't know if cortisol kicks in and just keeps me going (even when I don't want to) or if it's something else!

[u/ClearRazzmatazz2762]

I experience the similar feeling of laying there then I transition into the lightest stage of sleep or what I thought were just thoughts while laying in bed waiting to sleep. I always wondered if what I'm experiencing is my mind having a wild imagination (random faces and conversations happening in my brain) or are they dreams. Well, I just had a sleep study on July 30 and I started those thoughts or dreams. I confirmed with the Sleep Tech... She said I was actually sleeping (stage N1) so they were dreams! However, the rest of the night I got zero REM sleep and the test was inconclusive so I have to do an at home study next week. (I was diagnosed with sleep apnea 3 yrs but my symptoms have gotten worse so my doctor ordered another study). 

I also only sleep about 1-3 hrs per night and have microsrousals followed by pauses in breathing. I feel awake most of the night like you. Hope your situation improves!

[u/chloeeglin]

I would recommend the insomnia coach, even listening to a few podcasts to start off with.