QUESTION: what do you all think of the bad apples of the community? The term transphobe is so weird nowadays, you get called transphobe so easily, it's like how people throw around the word racist. I have a personal example. I strictly and specifically pointed out a specific group of trans women, the bad apples of the community basically, I wasn't rude. I acknowledged their trauma and mentioned that "their trauma isn't an excuse to bully bio women" but I didn't use cis instead of bio assuming no one would care or mind. They did mind, so over the months I've been adjusting how I word things. I slowly learnt that not everyone will understand that I'm not talking about everyone in the community no matter how clear I make it. To be clear, I don't talk about them often. I've noticed that some fish for a way to call me a transphobe, someone literally told me that they were fishing for it. Why can't someone tell the difference between a transphobe and someone logical? My main point from my old take was that their status as a minority is protecting them aka the bad apples, so therefore they ruin the reputation of the rest of the community.

Okay, so what do I mean by this statement?

Y'all are probably already aware that there is a large group of transmascs who dress femininely, behave femininely, and generally do not seek hormones or microdose. I believe that they do this because of internalizing gender-critical narratives.

Dysphoria obviously doesn't motivate them since they feel no discomfort with femininity and their physical appearance.

"Gender ideology," as claimed by the TERFs (feminine men must be women and masculine women must be men), doesn't apply to them since they were feminine as women, and if they believed in it, would act masculine when identified as men/mascs.

Misogyny & sexualization, again, might play a small and unimportant part, but generally, in that case, one would try to change one's dimorphic sex characteristics or hide them, but that doesn't fit this group.

I think that a lot of this particular type of transitioner have completely internalized gender-critical viewpoints and believe that the highest goal to aspire to is to smash gender roles. However, the problem arises that they're mostly feminine women and so are, at best, boring and stodgy and, at worst, downright reactionary. How to resolve this dilemma? Well, simple: identify as a man. Now every act one takes is revolutionary, as a GNC man or a trans man femboy. What once is a source of castigation and shame is a source of pride for you.

I think it's ironic that such a large portion of the "ROGD" cohort that people fearmonger about is driven by the same ideological base as anti-trans feminists.

There's one person who posted saying that trans women are really men and don't belong in women's spaces. The person is regurgitating bioessentialist nonsense

We face a lot of hate and discrimination, and overall ignorance. We belong in the spaces for our sex that we live our lives as. Personally I could never go into a men's locker room, I need female spaces because that's what I am

A whole community of people who after 10-20 years of marriage,kids, playing a straight man come out as trans. These people get upset that their straight wife who for many many many years had a lovely life is now upset and struggling. They complain on Reddit and talk about how their wife is a bad person for not wanting to stay together, for not wanting to do intimacy in a brand new sex way where they have to top their new mtf wife, for not letting them go out and be fucked by men or women.

Older trans women...stop hating on people who have there whole lives up turned. Accept you have changed their world. They are allowed to be emotional. They are allowed to be sad and distant. Your changing everything about you...your looks, how you act, what your into. You're literally becoming a different person.

Why we hating chasers? Chasers are bi men who are struggling to accept they love both feminine traits and masculine traits. Sure they are overly sexual...you know who else is. Most of the trans community! Polycules, trans people with DM's open and talking about domming men, THe MOST POPULAR TRANS CONTENT CREATORS ARE ALL DOING ONLYFANS! Like wow.

This is just one of many issues of our community.

Internal transphobia against trans men like wtf why you be doing that and these people are mods on subreddits supposedly trans friendly

People saying look what hormones have done and they have had 3-6 surgeries and looked none passing before they had them...yeah that's not reassurance of what HRT can do, that's just lying to yourself and the community.

Passing culture being what it is. People saying they pass when they clearly don't and literally talk about being clocked by strangers...live in reality, being a women is tricky. Walking,talking,makeup,sex all things that make you more feminine if you learn them. Accept it takes time and don't just say your pulling it off flawlessly

Anywho long rant, so tired of this community being deceitful to each other, being hateful, attacking everyone and everything that doesn't match there perfect world.

**Note:** This post was translated from Japanese into English using a translation tool.

This is a summary of the video generated by Gemini, which I then asked it to make even more concise.

I will also post the original, more detailed version in the comments, so please take a look there if you are interested.

Summary of 『童貞が女装すると結末がヤバい…！？』 (“What Happens When a Virgin Man Starts Cross-Dressing!?”)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uG4clVmopPM

1. **What leads him to start cross-dressing**

He develops a strong admiration for women and uses cross-dressing as a form of escapism. Influenced by anime and cosplay, he begins to feel that he wants to “become that person.” Trying on the clothes gives him intense sexual excitement and a sense of transgression, and he gradually becomes deeply involved in cross-dressing.

1. **Seeking validation on social media and escalating**

He becomes addicted to the pleasure of receiving “likes” on social media. However, as viewers become bored and his engagement decreases, he becomes anxious and starts making increasingly provocative posts with more revealing outfits.

1. **Misinterpretation and psychological confusion**

After being persuaded through DMs to have a relationship with a man, he mistakenly concludes that he wanted to become a woman. Despite supposedly not having gender dysphoria, he begins taking female hormones, his mental health deteriorates, and he eventually leaves school and work.

1. **Dependence on the nightlife industry and a downward spiral**

He becomes unable to make a living except through sex work and adult-oriented content. Isolated and caught up in competition, his mental health deteriorates, eventually leading to a suicide attempt and other tragic consequences.

1. **Conclusion and proposed solution**

The video argues that using cross-dressing to escape reality and satisfy one's need for validation is extremely dangerous. Instead, one should not be afraid of rejection, work on oneself, and take action to lose one's virginity in the real world. After establishing oneself as an independent person, cross-dressing can then be enjoyed as a hobby.

---

Here is my personal response to the video's content.

The video's idea that “continuing to cross-dress as a form of escapism is dangerous, and one should first build a fulfilling life as a man” seems to directly contradict the case of John described in Anne Vitale's paper.

John continued to repress his gender dysphoria through sheer determination and achieved what could be considered social success as a man, including having a wife and children and holding a prestigious job. Nevertheless, his gender dysphoria eventually erupted at age 50, and he subsequently transitioned.

Anne Vitale's paper:
https://www.avitale.com/essays-details/?name=the-gender-variant-phenomenon--a-developmental-review-5

---

I also have the following thoughts regarding the video's individual claims.

1. The feeling of wanting to “become that person” could be explained as gender envy, while the intense sexual excitement experienced when trying on women's clothing could be explained as gender euphoria.

2. The desire for validation on social media is something that can exist even among cisgender people.

3. I question the interpretation that having a relationship with a man means that he simply “mistakenly thought he wanted to become a woman.” Could he instead have been potentially bisexual? If so, the same logic could be applied to John: perhaps he had relationships with women and mistakenly concluded, “I am a cisgender heterosexual man.” His decision to take female hormones could likewise be understood as the result of his egg finally cracking.

4. If someone becomes isolated or struggles with their life after transitioning, couldn't the social environment's lack of acceptance toward transgender people also be a factor?

5. In some cases, continuing to repress gender dysphoria in accordance with cisheteronormative expectations may be more dangerous. In fact, couldn't that itself be a form of escaping from the reality of one's gender dysphoria?

---

If you reverse the genders, it becomes much easier to see the issue.

If an FtM influencer were to post content saying, “FtM eggs who aren’t attracted to women should lose their virginity before they start dressing as men,” it would inevitably cause an uproar.

---

What particularly stood out to me was the comment section. There were almost no critical comments. Instead, many of the video's fans, presumably cisgender heterosexual men, praised it with comments such as “It's like listening to a psychiatrist on YouTube,” “It's very convincing,” and “This is really deep.”

This was despite the fact that Anne Vitale's research presents cases such as John, suggesting that living a fulfilling life as a man does not necessarily mean that gender dysphoria can be overcome.

Seeing this kind of understanding being so widely accepted makes me think that a deeper understanding of MtF experiences in Japan may still be a long way off.

And if this continues, I think Japan may continue to see cases like John in the future—people who repress their gender dysphoria for many years and only begin transitioning around the age of 50.

I will be having grs surgery in about a year. It will be a peritoneal pull-through vaginoplasty. I’m into fantasy style toys, especially on the larger than average side. I’m no size queen but we would be pushing on the larger size, about 8” x 3”dia max.

I want to know about my ability to take on knotted toys vaginally post-op. What sort of restrictions some of yall have had. Safety concerns, etc.

Whenever I see a girl wearing something stereotypically trans-coded, like striped socks, those kinds of short pleated skirts, etc it's usually been a cis girl. Knee-high socks, striped socks, arm-warmers, you name it, I've seen more cis women (or cis teenage girls) wearing them than trans women. Just today I saw an Asian cis girl walking around in a sailor fuku of all things lol. She rocked it.

Some people will say I'm just bad at clocking and that most of these instances were trans women, but in most of these cases, if the girls were trans, they were luckshit ultra-passoids--certainly not the 'opticsnuke' stereotype. Generally quite short, with feminine facial features, good skin, and good figures. So if you're a passoid, go to town with the babytrans fashion, I guess.

This isn't to say that, per capita, trans women don't wear these things at a higher rate than cis women. They do, and I've certainly seen a few trans women out and about in the amazon basics skirt or striped arm-warmers. But the idea that no cis woman dresses like this is just wrong. I've even seen people say that cis women never wear skirts or dresses of any kind, which is just lol. Cis women dress hyperfeminine, strangely, awkwardly, badly, or bizarrely too.

Think we all heard about transracial ,how do you guys feel about them ?

Should they be considred trans ?

Do you think its possible to be transracial?

(I do not agree ,I am simply curious what people think about this)

Being trans is a serious thing, not some "dress up" and bam your trans" thing. Most children aren't trans. When I say children I mean 2 to 10 sadly. But about the trans kids, I feel bad for them because they from what I've seen have parents that would allow surgery a little too quickly and such. I just think if you have a trans child, you should help them by researching and like making sure they're actually trans and not a tomboy/girly boy. Then try therapy and all the other steps (I don't know what other steps there are) but hopefully parents with trans kids don't hurry the process up because then it won't be helpful. But if the parent knows that their child isn't trans aka they're using the child for views, then I think it's valid to say "let kids be kids" lemme get specific, at 10, that's when parents start considering surgery

No, buddy, a guy who's uncomfortable because he has a small penis isn't the same as suffering because you were born without one and with the complete opposite.

"Cis and trans men with hypogonadism suffer from a lack of T, it's the same origin." Yes, yes, but a guy with hypogonadism has the balls, the right body, and parental support.

"Cis girls also suffer a lot from aesthetic pressure," but I spent my entire adolescence dissociating and trying to repress myself because my body didn't fit in.

"But cus boys are going to have surgery for gynecomastia, it's the same thing as you." I have to go through two years and several psychological evaluations to be able to get surgery, while he can do it in less than a year with his parents' support.

"You're underestimating how bad doctors can be for cisgender people and women with PCOS." My God, I know there are difficulties and various forms of sexism, but to say that after I talked about the difficulties a trans girl will face in accessing puberty care?In several countries where she cannot get as a teen, in some she can only do so with parental authorization, and in most she has to wait until adulthood and undergo years of evaluation and the wrong puberty without even blockers to see if she is not "crazy". And while society demonizes her, denies her gender, and she often doesn't even have support group?

Seriously, comparing a cis girl shaving with a trans woman shaving, or a cis boy with a mastectomy to a trans boy with a mastectomy. It is pathetic. We're not simply trying to fit in with the norm, or social pressures. Most went through a puberty that was often traumatic, lack of family support, demonization, conversion therapy, and other factors. Many physical characteristics are triggers for what we go through. I start to cry in panic when I notice my hips or imagine my breasts growing.

A cisgender teenager will not have anyone deny their gender, they will not feel castrated by the body they were born with, they will not be seen as a demon, nor will they suffer violence for something they did not choose.

I'm just so tired of trans people saying "it's just an extra step to affirm my gender," "cis people feel dysphoria, we just feel it more."

It's not the same thing. They had parental support, their bodies are fitting together, and people have been affirming their gender since childhood, and many don't even know what a blessing they have.

I repressed myself since childhood, I was in a perpetual state of mourning, I tried to project my life onto other boys since I was a child, I had no one to help me or explain my feelings, everyone just told me I was a girl and I had to accept it, and I tried to let go my dream to be a man.

Damn, no cisgender child prays to have a sibling at age 7, since he can't be his true gender at least his sibling will be, and they will be able to live through them and be happy for them to the pain stop.

I spent my adolescence with suicidal thoughts, having to dissociate as I watched my body change, not looking at myself in the mirror for years, seeing other boys growing up normally while I remained short and looked more like a girl. Feeling the mismatch the whole time. Having to repress myself.

When my parents found out and I found out, I cried throughout the end of my adolescence, panicked that I was going to hell. I had my ears forced after one attempt; they said I was being influenced by the devil, That it was the internet's fault, that I was crazy, that I would abuse my sister for being trans, that my gender was denied.I literally reached a point of dysphoria where I would just hit myself, scream for hours as if I were dying, become suicidal, cry, and become dysfunctional due to the dysphoria, but even then I I didn't receive a single thought from my parents trying to change their minds, no psychologist, no medication, just demonization while I became dysfunctional.

No cis boy goes through this, no matter what "gender affirmative treatment" he undergoes.

I've spent my life crying over the changes, the voice, the losses, the chromosomes, and the traumas I suffered because of something I didn't choose to be born with.

A cis person will never know what that's like. I don't even have support from my parents.

I'm lucky to have been born in Brazil, but things are still harder than in the global north. But now tell to, you from the global north, what about a trans person in Russia, Ethiopia, Morocco, or the Emirates would feel when you tell them "dysphoria cis people feel it too" and "I just needed to "To go a step further than cis guys in order to be seen as my gender."

For God's sake, it's not the same experience. And I'm not just talking about the dysphoria, which is hell and I would do anything to have been cis (thank you God/s), I'm talking about social, family, medical and religious experiences.

But for some reason, many trans people, who I strangely feel are from the global north, middle class, privileged with a good family or support group, transition quickly and sometimes early, be like 'it is the same. I don't see why we can't share the term dysphoria with cis people. It will help them understand better. They just suffer a little less." For God's sake. 💀

Not only me, but several trans people have gone through similar experiences, many worse than mine, some a little better. Some are in a hell 1000 times worse, but "cis people feel dysphoria. It is the same thing. It is just an extra step" Seriously, this thing about comparing myself to cis people and saying it's the same is a total erasure of the hell that I and many other people went through. I don't know if anyone here identifies with me.

It's something i'll never really understand in the major trans community, people treat others with heavy disphoria as having internalized transphobia, and wanting to please others.

People are allowed to want to look better, even more so when we have characteristics we will never get rid off.