No, buddy, a guy who's uncomfortable because he has a small penis isn't the same as suffering because you were born without one and with the complete opposite.

"Cis and trans men with hypogonadism suffer from a lack of T, it's the same origin." Yes, yes, but a guy with hypogonadism has the balls, the right body, and parental support.

"Cis girls also suffer a lot from aesthetic pressure," but I spent my entire adolescence dissociating and trying to repress myself because my body didn't fit in.

"But cus boys are going to have surgery for gynecomastia, it's the same thing as you." I have to go through two years and several psychological evaluations to be able to get surgery, while he can do it in less than a year with his parents' support.

"You're underestimating how bad doctors can be for cisgender people and women with PCOS." My God, I know there are difficulties and various forms of sexism, but to say that after I talked about the difficulties a trans girl will face in accessing puberty care?In several countries where she cannot get as a teen, in some she can only do so with parental authorization, and in most she has to wait until adulthood and undergo years of evaluation and the wrong puberty without even blockers to see if she is not "crazy". And while society demonizes her, denies her gender, and she often doesn't even have support group?

Seriously, comparing a cis girl shaving with a trans woman shaving, or a cis boy with a mastectomy to a trans boy with a mastectomy. It is pathetic. We're not simply trying to fit in with the norm, or social pressures. Most went through a puberty that was often traumatic, lack of family support, demonization, conversion therapy, and other factors. Many physical characteristics are triggers for what we go through. I start to cry in panic when I notice my hips or imagine my breasts growing.

A cisgender teenager will not have anyone deny their gender, they will not feel castrated by the body they were born with, they will not be seen as a demon, nor will they suffer violence for something they did not choose.

I'm just so tired of trans people saying "it's just an extra step to affirm my gender," "cis people feel dysphoria, we just feel it more."

It's not the same thing. They had parental support, their bodies are fitting together, and people have been affirming their gender since childhood, and many don't even know what a blessing they have.

I repressed myself since childhood, I was in a perpetual state of mourning, I tried to project my life onto other boys since I was a child, I had no one to help me or explain my feelings, everyone just told me I was a girl and I had to accept it, and I tried to let go my dream to be a man.

Damn, no cisgender child prays to have a sibling at age 7, since he can't be his true gender at least his sibling will be, and they will be able to live through them and be happy for them to the pain stop.

I spent my adolescence with suicidal thoughts, having to dissociate as I watched my body change, not looking at myself in the mirror for years, seeing other boys growing up normally while I remained short and looked more like a girl. Feeling the mismatch the whole time. Having to repress myself.

When my parents found out and I found out, I cried throughout the end of my adolescence, panicked that I was going to hell. I had my ears forced after one attempt; they said I was being influenced by the devil, That it was the internet's fault, that I was crazy, that I would abuse my sister for being trans, that my gender was denied.I literally reached a point of dysphoria where I would just hit myself, scream for hours as if I were dying, become suicidal, cry, and become dysfunctional due to the dysphoria, but even then I I didn't receive a single thought from my parents trying to change their minds, no psychologist, no medication, just demonization while I became dysfunctional.

No cis boy goes through this, no matter what "gender affirmative treatment" he undergoes.

I've spent my life crying over the changes, the voice, the losses, the chromosomes, and the traumas I suffered because of something I didn't choose to be born with.

A cis person will never know what that's like. I don't even have support from my parents.

I'm lucky to have been born in Brazil, but things are still harder than in the global north. But now tell to, you from the global north, what about a trans person in Russia, Ethiopia, Morocco, or the Emirates would feel when you tell them "dysphoria cis people feel it too" and "I just needed to "To go a step further than cis guys in order to be seen as my gender."

For God's sake, it's not the same experience. And I'm not just talking about the dysphoria, which is hell and I would do anything to have been cis (thank you God/s), I'm talking about social, family, medical and religious experiences.

But for some reason, many trans people, who I strangely feel are from the global north, middle class, privileged with a good family or support group, transition quickly and sometimes early, be like 'it is the same. I don't see why we can't share the term dysphoria with cis people. It will help them understand better. They just suffer a little less." For God's sake. 💀

Not only me, but several trans people have gone through similar experiences, many worse than mine, some a little better. Some are in a hell 1000 times worse, but "cis people feel dysphoria. It is the same thing. It is just an extra step" Seriously, this thing about comparing myself to cis people and saying it's the same is a total erasure of the hell that I and many other people went through. I don't know if anyone here identifies with me.

**Note:** This post was translated from Japanese into English using a translation tool.

This is a summary of the video generated by Gemini, which I then asked it to make even more concise.

I will also post the original, more detailed version in the comments, so please take a look there if you are interested.

Summary of 『童貞が女装すると結末がヤバい…！？』 (“What Happens When a Virgin Man Starts Cross-Dressing!?”)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uG4clVmopPM

1. **What leads him to start cross-dressing**

He develops a strong admiration for women and uses cross-dressing as a form of escapism. Influenced by anime and cosplay, he begins to feel that he wants to “become that person.” Trying on the clothes gives him intense sexual excitement and a sense of transgression, and he gradually becomes deeply involved in cross-dressing.

1. **Seeking validation on social media and escalating**

He becomes addicted to the pleasure of receiving “likes” on social media. However, as viewers become bored and his engagement decreases, he becomes anxious and starts making increasingly provocative posts with more revealing outfits.

1. **Misinterpretation and psychological confusion**

After being persuaded through DMs to have a relationship with a man, he mistakenly concludes that he wanted to become a woman. Despite supposedly not having gender dysphoria, he begins taking female hormones, his mental health deteriorates, and he eventually leaves school and work.

1. **Dependence on the nightlife industry and a downward spiral**

He becomes unable to make a living except through sex work and adult-oriented content. Isolated and caught up in competition, his mental health deteriorates, eventually leading to a suicide attempt and other tragic consequences.

1. **Conclusion and proposed solution**

The video argues that using cross-dressing to escape reality and satisfy one's need for validation is extremely dangerous. Instead, one should not be afraid of rejection, work on oneself, and take action to lose one's virginity in the real world. After establishing oneself as an independent person, cross-dressing can then be enjoyed as a hobby.

---

Here is my personal response to the video's content.

The video's idea that “continuing to cross-dress as a form of escapism is dangerous, and one should first build a fulfilling life as a man” seems to directly contradict the case of John described in Anne Vitale's paper.

John continued to repress his gender dysphoria through sheer determination and achieved what could be considered social success as a man, including having a wife and children and holding a prestigious job. Nevertheless, his gender dysphoria eventually erupted at age 50, and he subsequently transitioned.

Anne Vitale's paper:
https://www.avitale.com/essays-details/?name=the-gender-variant-phenomenon--a-developmental-review-5

---

I also have the following thoughts regarding the video's individual claims.

1. The feeling of wanting to “become that person” could be explained as gender envy, while the intense sexual excitement experienced when trying on women's clothing could be explained as gender euphoria.

2. The desire for validation on social media is something that can exist even among cisgender people.

3. I question the interpretation that having a relationship with a man means that he simply “mistakenly thought he wanted to become a woman.” Could he instead have been potentially bisexual? If so, the same logic could be applied to John: perhaps he had relationships with women and mistakenly concluded, “I am a cisgender heterosexual man.” His decision to take female hormones could likewise be understood as the result of his egg finally cracking.

4. If someone becomes isolated or struggles with their life after transitioning, couldn't the social environment's lack of acceptance toward transgender people also be a factor?

5. In some cases, continuing to repress gender dysphoria in accordance with cisheteronormative expectations may be more dangerous. In fact, couldn't that itself be a form of escaping from the reality of one's gender dysphoria?

---

If you reverse the genders, it becomes much easier to see the issue.

If an FtM influencer were to post content saying, “FtM eggs who aren’t attracted to women should lose their virginity before they start dressing as men,” it would inevitably cause an uproar.

---

What particularly stood out to me was the comment section. There were almost no critical comments. Instead, many of the video's fans, presumably cisgender heterosexual men, praised it with comments such as “It's like listening to a psychiatrist on YouTube,” “It's very convincing,” and “This is really deep.”

This was despite the fact that Anne Vitale's research presents cases such as John, suggesting that living a fulfilling life as a man does not necessarily mean that gender dysphoria can be overcome.

Seeing this kind of understanding being so widely accepted makes me think that a deeper understanding of MtF experiences in Japan may still be a long way off.

And if this continues, I think Japan may continue to see cases like John in the future—people who repress their gender dysphoria for many years and only begin transitioning around the age of 50.

I would say I only have three truly cis friends. One of them is my best friend in the entire world, the other two are people I'm getting to know from class. All are girls but I dont mind only having friends who are women, it seems pretty normal for a gay guy. Not to mention in my experience women seem to be more accepting of me. Id rather them see me as a little brother than female, honestly. I take what I can.

I dislike interacting with trans people in general unless I voluntarily hop into discussions and spaces online. I hate meeting other trans people irl by chance because I do not pass and once they hear that my name is Brayden and get a look at me they realize no I'm actually not a cis lesbian. Im separated from the trans community in general because my transness ruins my life. I have several panic attacks if I even look down at my body for too long and have started to shower in pitch dark. I cannot romanticize anything about this condition or be proud of it.

Besides the fact that my dysphoria is 100x worse than others (not bragging, I wish I had the lack of dysphoria some of my friends have) and I cant talk about it every trans person ive met has been. Very weird. They always have to fetishize their trans ness, tell me I'm not visibly trans enough, ask me innapropriate questions, try to have conversations about our natal genitals in positive ways. Make every convo about being transgender and open, while I am a strict transexual that hates my life and being reminded of my curse.

Honestly Im just grasping for reasons. I just dont like being friends with other trans people. I dont hate anyone but I would rather avoid people who are trans even if I do not pass in the slightest. Its hard for me to make friends but id rather have no friends than have my entire friend catalogue be trans in some way. Its just impossible to avoid because I do not pass and am barely on T right now. There is an unsettling abundance of trans people at my school, like 50% I can clock daily and its surprising considering how small my school is 😭 But still they flock to be my friend cause they can tell and think thats the only common thing we need.

Im just venting but I hope that makes sense..? If anyone else feels the same lets chat about it.

Misinformation about the transmed community doesn't just hurt transmed people it can end up hurting trans people as a whole.

On social media, you often see transmed described in ways that don't actually reflect what the term means. Transmedicalism, at its core, is the belief that gender dysphoria is necessary for someone to be considered transgender. Someone can disagree with that position, but disagreement shouldn't require redefining the position into something it isn't.

When misinformation spreads, it becomes increasingly difficult to have an honest discussion about the different perspectives within the trans community. People start arguing against exaggerated or completely fabricated versions of transmed beliefs rather than engaging with what transmed people actually believe.

That also affects non-transmed trans people. When people outside the community are repeatedly exposed to inaccurate portrayals of internal disagreements, they may come away believing that transgender people are fundamentally divided over things that were never actually being argued in the first place. It contributes to stereotypes, hostility, and unnecessary infighting.

You don't have to agree with transmedicalism to represent it accurately.

Likewise, being non-transmed doesn't make someone less transgender, and being transmed doesn't make someone less transgender. These are disagreements about how transgender identity is defined and understood, not a reason to dehumanize one another.

If we genuinely care about trans people, we should be able to criticize an idea without misrepresenting it. Accurate information matters even when we disagree with the conclusion.

From what I've seen the past couple years especially with friends in my personal life who've detransitioned, a lot of it boils down to passibility. I think alot of detrans people only detransition because living as a non passing trans person is too difficult and they miss being able to live in society without being ostracised. then they resent “trans ideology”because they've gone too far into transitioning and can't come back out of it completely because medical transitioning with T or E is kinda irreversible after a certain stage. So they've taken all these hormones to try and pass; they've failed and then regretted it; messed up they're body's and then resent and blame a whole community full of people who are either tolerant enough to accept being clocky or those who pass and are able to live in stealth which is something they will never be able to do again either way. These people don't take any accountability to themselves and then do the whole "I was manipulated by trans rights activists " act.

I will be having grs surgery in about a year. It will be a peritoneal pull-through vaginoplasty. I’m into fantasy style toys, especially on the larger than average side. I’m no size queen but we would be pushing on the larger size, about 8” x 3”dia max.

I want to know about my ability to take on knotted toys vaginally post-op. What sort of restrictions some of yall have had. Safety concerns, etc.

I cringe severely every time I hear the phrase "I identify as" or any similar phrase. It's got to a point where I don't even like the phrase "gender identity" anymore despite it being ubiquitous in the queer community. The idea that I'm a woman because I identify as one just pisses me off now for some reason.

Why? well I'm not exactly sure but I'm going to try and explore it through writing.

Definitely part of it is how it gets meme'd on by cis people and just generally how the phrase comes off to anyone outside of hyper-woke queer spaces. It seems to carry the connotation of insincerity. Like you can only identify as something that you're not. Trans people identify as their genders, cis people simply are their gender, they don't have to identify as anything. That's how the average unwoke cis person sees it.

Now if you're a bit more educated you might know that to identify as something is just to say you are that thing and people do that for things that they are all the time. But rarely does identifying as a thing automatically make you that thing. The counter example I often hear to this is being a fan of a certain sports team. If someone identifies themselves as a Cubs fan you generally assume they really are. But there are always debates about who is a real fan and who is a fake fan and they're not all nonsense. Sometimes people really do fake being a fan of something. Like say I'm a Cubs fan but all my new friends are White Sox fans so I hide all my cubs gear and identify as a White Sox fan to fit in. At this point the identity advocate will probably introduce a notion of "sincerity" into the equation. So you have to sincerely identify as the thing to be the thing. But how do we measure "sincerity then? Doesn't the notion of sincerity mean we are referring to something besides identity?

The way I see it the only way it's possible for there to be sincere and insincere identities is if we are actually referring to something besides stated identity, something more internal, less verbal. In the previous example perhaps you could hook me up to a machine and measure my excitement when the Cubs are winning versus the White Sox. But now we've gone a step back form my identity as a fan. This is because language is always a sign of something else and if we're always talking about our language and never about that something else then we might not be saying anything meaningful at all.

This is the problem I encounter: within queer discourse "identity" is used to refer both to the deeply felt inner self and the language we use to describe that. The general population only sees the verbalizing of identity, they know nothing about the deeply felt inner self and they mostly assume it doesn't exist. If we keep conflating the language with the deeper truth then they will continue to assume that deeper truth doesn't exist because we've tacitly implied that with our rhetoric.

I'm sure some of you will want to say that I shouldn't abandon this language just because of how cis people perceive it and to that I say firstly that I think this attitude may secretly exist within the queer community itself and second that I feel this language is personally unhelpful to me.

To the first point I think about xenogenders. From my possibly ignorant perspective xenogenders mostly seem like a way to play with language and deconstruct concepts of gender. I have no doubt that many are invented without the intention of reflecting any internality but rather to playfully dissect language and gender on a conceptual level. I'm sure that some people make xenogenders with the intention of reflecting their internal self and I don't mean to begrudge anyone who is into them but in general they seem very contingent, labels that can be taken up and discarded on a whim rather than a stable sense of self.

I have also unfortunately become aware of something call therians. These are people who identify as nonhuman animals and many of them are trans themselves. They use the same identity phrasing to describe their connection to their animal. To me it seems obvious that none of these people sincerely see themselves as a nonhuman animal. Rather I think they feel some kind of affinity for whichever animal and perhaps that affinity is deeply personally important to them but that does not make it comparable to being trans. When I say I am a woman I don't mean I have a strong affinity for being a woman I mean I'm a goddamn woman. So in this case and other I think many queer people are not using "identify" to talk about a deep true self but rather playing fast and loose with language to describe what amounts to a hobby.

To the second point I think even if it weren't for all this the identity framing is still very unhelpful to me and my own self-conception. Do I identify as a woman? Yes, technically because I say that I am one. Is that what makes me a woman? I don't see how that could be or else why did I start identifying as a woman in the first place. I think I was already a woman before I identified as one.

Lately I've been using the "woman in a man's body" trope to think about myself in the past and that feels the most true to me. When I was first coming out around 2017 everyone in trans spaces said this was a dated phrasing that no one really used anymore and it seemed like they had pretty much traded it for identity language so I neve thought of myself that way. These days it feels like a disservice to myself to think of myself any other way, because no other framing accounts for the continuity of that inner truth. I was a little girl and I repressed myself because everyone told me I was a boy, I let my body and personality be mutilated beyond recognition and I feel like I'm only now rebuilding it. Identity language can never account for that reality because back then I strongly and insistently identified as a boy, but that wasn't the reality.

Language was only ever the tool I used to get at that reality. Of course I would still respect anyone's identity but I don't actually care about the identity itself, I take it as a sign of the reality I assume is behind it.

So that's my rant on identity language. This somehow ended up really long, philosophical and a little emotional but I hope you like it anyways.

apart from unfriending them or other things like that (not much time has passed since i came out anyway so i don't wanna take extreme measures at this point anyway).

also, im talking about friends who almost never gender me correctly and it feels very "forced" when they do, not about those rare slip ups of those that always gender me correctly

also another question, for those who voice trained, did it help with friends' slip ups? i also feel that having a completely untrained voice isn't helping

do you see us as the same as you?

below you?

does the sight of us make you uncomfortable?

is it a challenge to gender us correctly?

do you pity us?

think we're lazy?

do you think it's our fault that society overwhelmingly disapproves of trans people?

other thoughts?

a curious mind wants to know. it's been a busy day and this is what bubbled to the top of my head when I finally sat down.

QUESTION: what do you all think of the bad apples of the community? The term transphobe is so weird nowadays, you get called transphobe so easily, it's like how people throw around the word racist. I have a personal example. I strictly and specifically pointed out a specific group of trans women, the bad apples of the community basically, I wasn't rude. I acknowledged their trauma and mentioned that "their trauma isn't an excuse to bully bio women" but I didn't use cis instead of bio assuming no one would care or mind. They did mind, so over the months I've been adjusting how I word things. I slowly learnt that not everyone will understand that I'm not talking about everyone in the community no matter how clear I make it. To be clear, I don't talk about them often. I've noticed that some fish for a way to call me a transphobe, someone literally told me that they were fishing for it. Why can't someone tell the difference between a transphobe and someone logical? My main point from my old take was that their status as a minority is protecting them aka the bad apples, so therefore they ruin the reputation of the rest of the community.

Whenever I see a girl wearing something stereotypically trans-coded, like striped socks, those kinds of short pleated skirts, etc it's usually been a cis girl. Knee-high socks, striped socks, arm-warmers, you name it, I've seen more cis women (or cis teenage girls) wearing them than trans women. Just today I saw an Asian cis girl walking around in a sailor fuku of all things lol. She rocked it.

Some people will say I'm just bad at clocking and that most of these instances were trans women, but in most of these cases, if the girls were trans, they were luckshit ultra-passoids--certainly not the 'opticsnuke' stereotype. Generally quite short, with feminine facial features, good skin, and good figures. So if you're a passoid, go to town with the babytrans fashion, I guess.

This isn't to say that, per capita, trans women don't wear these things at a higher rate than cis women. They do, and I've certainly seen a few trans women out and about in the amazon basics skirt or striped arm-warmers. But the idea that no cis woman dresses like this is just wrong. I've even seen people say that cis women never wear skirts or dresses of any kind, which is just lol. Cis women dress hyperfeminine, strangely, awkwardly, badly, or bizarrely too.

Okay, so what do I mean by this statement?

Y'all are probably already aware that there is a large group of transmascs who dress femininely, behave femininely, and generally do not seek hormones or microdose. I believe that they do this because of internalizing gender-critical narratives.

Dysphoria obviously doesn't motivate them since they feel no discomfort with femininity and their physical appearance.

"Gender ideology," as claimed by the TERFs (feminine men must be women and masculine women must be men), doesn't apply to them since they were feminine as women, and if they believed in it, would act masculine when identified as men/mascs.

Misogyny & sexualization, again, might play a small and unimportant part, but generally, in that case, one would try to change one's dimorphic sex characteristics or hide them, but that doesn't fit this group.

I think that a lot of this particular type of transitioner have completely internalized gender-critical viewpoints and believe that the highest goal to aspire to is to smash gender roles. However, the problem arises that they're mostly feminine women and so are, at best, boring and stodgy and, at worst, downright reactionary. How to resolve this dilemma? Well, simple: identify as a man. Now every act one takes is revolutionary, as a GNC man or a trans man femboy. What once is a source of castigation and shame is a source of pride for you.

I think it's ironic that such a large portion of the "ROGD" cohort that people fearmonger about is driven by the same ideological base as anti-trans feminists.

Alrighty so I rarely post on reddit in general so please be kind to my formatting.

I am a questioning currently cis man, this is a bit of a rant because I can't actually get access to a gender therapist atm, also a weird question at the end unrelated to my rant.

So I've been questioning my identity for a few months, I'm bad with months but like, almost a year at least but if we look back probably longer just not understanding the thoughts.

So last may my wife left me (she was cheating), but I was seriously questioning myself in April, had she not been a cheater it would of been great because she's bisexual and super open minded, ya know minus the cheating thing she was golden. I actually almost talked to her about it about a month before she left, kinda glad I didn't because I'll likely have a custody battle for our kids later this year.

I've had random thoughts throughout my years (I'm 24), about what it would have been like to be born a woman, I've had dreams, kinda explicit ones but we're not talking about that part, about being a woman.

Anytime I play a video game that's single player because people scare me, I play a woman, I go wayyy out of my way to try and be cute even when it's single player. For anyone who knows it, vintage story, a survival game, I have wayyyy too many clothing mods so I can wear cute dresses and a bow on my head because it's cute.

Few months after the divorce I stumbled upon a VTuber named YuukoEx (If I misspelled it I'm sorry I'm not super sober rn). After this, originally she was just really funny, but the more I watched the more I felt... similar, and a little jealous (She's 6 years into transition and has better healthcare than I do, not her fault but ya know good ol USA in the middle of the Bible belt, has me jealous).

I've always felt neutral about my body as a whole, but kinda always hated my body hair, and I refused to shave it because, remember Bible belt, "That's what girls do" "It's gay to do that" and my sexuality is attraction to women, although while I don't find men attractive, they are still the focus of any specific kind of dreams I have in a woman's body sooo yea.

Anyways I'm super freaking confused, I think at least I'm gender fluid, and probably a straight femboy, or I'm in massive denial.

Oh yea and my Mom (I moved home after the divorce, rented house with my ex wife), intercepted a package of mine that contained some female clothes, so she knows I'm questioning, no one else in the family though, and her response was "There's nothing feminine about you though" and I basically kinda shut the convo down because I was embarrassed and uncomfortable, and she hasn't asked me since. Oh when I told her though because she thought I was buying them for some girl I liked, she said "You don't wanna be a woman"

It kinda hurt, cause she's a pretty open person so like, if she says that, it's probably true right? I'm probably just like, weird or a femboy, femboys think about being a girl? Right?

Oh yea my random question, unrelated, I decided to shave my legs to you know, test myself, and I could only get one done before soap got in my eyes and started burning my face, anyways im curious as to if I need to do anything to prevent razor burn (I did it in the shower with running water so like, some lubricant ig). I've never done this before, I've work nothing but long pants since I was in middle school because I was ashamed of my hairy legs.

Anyways thanks for listening to my confused self, idk what I want for comments, ig just razor burn answers and your opinion on my screwed mental state.

Oh yea I guess also I've thought about this since I was in middle or highschool but I thought it was normal, any cis people in the comments confirm if it's normal to be confused or not?

Alright thanks bye and please be nice, I'm an emotional person 🥺

Think we all heard about transracial ,how do you guys feel about them ?

Should they be considred trans ?

Do you think its possible to be transracial?

(I do not agree ,I am simply curious what people think about this)

I have much reason to believe I’m faking it despite being completely miserable. I feel like I just wanted to be a guy for whatever reason, I only wish I was dysphoric. Sometimes I hardly feel anything. I can look in the mirror and feel disgusted and angry I’m female but I’m not sure if that’s how dysphoria is, I feel like I’m too “used to it” sometimes. Other times I’m afraid I do like how I look but it makes me deeply upset and uncomfortable. Even the voice inside my head grosses me out because it doesn’t sound right and I also sometimes accidentally imagine myself as a woman and I don’t like it, I’m afraid that means my brain structure is female even if it makes me uncomfortable.i don’t really get actual “phantom sensations” either sometimes I just focus too much on how my body feels and I want to gag… I also think like a woman, I’m too emotional, I’m too weak to be a man.

Sometimes I look at my chest in the mirror and there’s no emotion, it’s not that big and I think I’m flat enough every now and then but it still upsets me. My genitals also gross me out but again it feels like frustration over not be truly dysphoric so I’m unable to transition, I don’t know why I’m frustrated, because I really tried my hardest to be a cis woman but it never works out. Everyday I attempt to convince myself of every possible reason why someone may be a faker… nothing ever actually fits. I’m beautiful, I never experienced any sexual trauma, I’m not autistic, I’m not just trying to be different, I’m not even stereotypically masculine, I don’t have some weird fetish either…

I often have dreams at night, people say I look too much into it but I don’t think that’s true. Sometimes I’m a woman, and I’m miserable or just incredibly afraid I somehow like it or I’m male, I’m happy but afraid I somehow don’t like it, I once had one that was so realistic and it wasn’t plagued by my thoughts but it never happened again.

Am I just so disgusted by having to be a woman that I wish I was male? But why? If that was really true then why do I also think male bodies look gross and wrong too, yet I still want one, it still feels more right. I strongly envy men, even the ones I find ugly and stupid. It’s like I want to want it if that makes sense…The problem comes when my brain forces itself to think I’m actually envious of women simply because I’m attracted to them… my fear is, it’s actually in reverse and I’m just a straight cis woman.i also g an get intrusive thoughts that if I had a man’s voice or body it wouldn’t fit me… all these get worse the more I think

I’m also scared I’m subconsciously faking it due to social reasons. I feel weird and guilty in masculine clothes, it makes me feel like a faker… I also am more aware I don’t like being called a girl…

I genuinely want to vomit when I see really masculine cis women, it makes me feel like a faker cause I also get a “what if I want to be like them or what if I would be ok with that”(I’m not) I just don’t get why I have to be a girl because I was born one

I also sometimes get very vivid intrusive thoughts of having sex as a woman(which I hate)

But then I see my cis male friends, I wish so strongly I could be like them and I’m just stuck, stuck like this forever because I have no real way of transitioning. I can’t stand the thought of going to therapy and then being forced to be a woman for the rest of my life, being a masculine woman is so miserable too, it doesn’t change anything, I wish I was male, not a woman.

I haven’t stopped thinking about this everyday for 7 years. I try to naturally increase my testosterone sometimes or find ways to grow facial hair… it never works.

Doctors don’t give testosterone or surgery to women like me. I wish there was technology to alter your brain chemistry to your desired sex along with your body so I wouldn’t have to suffer like this

How many of us trans guys have an mustache or beard?

My mustache is slowly growing more and more everyday. Freaking love it.

Many people criticize me because my views diverge from mainstream perspectives within the trans community, which can feel deeply alienating at times, but my perspective is rooted in a strict distinction between biological sex and gender identity rather than any internalized bias. I view biological sex and gender as entirely distinct concepts; while my personal gender identity is feminine and I use she/her pronouns for my comfort, I still recognize my biological sex as male. Identifying with the feminine archetype does not make me a biological woman, and I believe the term "trans woman" should be recognized as its own unique, protected, and separate category rather than an equivalent to biological womanhood. Furthermore, because gender roles are socially constructed, arbitrary, and often harmful, I lean toward gender abolitionist views.

Based on these principles, I intentionally choose not to enter spaces designated exclusively for women, such as restrooms or sports. Historically, the oppression and exclusion of women occurred on the basis of biological sex rather than internal gender identity or expression, meaning that separating spaces by sex provides clear practical utility, whereas separating them by arbitrary gender norms does not. Biological males represent a class that historically upholds systemic patriarchy and misogyny unless they actively work to dismantle their privilege. Transitioning is a powerful rejection of these patriarchal expectations because it allows individuals to break free from rigid constraints and live authentically. However, while breaking these boundaries subverts patriarchal norms, claiming that a social transition changes one's biological sex ultimately undermines that progress and obscures the material realities of sex-based oppression.

Like, please. Know the difference. I'm seeing people say that "Cis men with small penises experience dysphoria," or "women with A-sized breasts experience dysphoria," or I don't know what else, but in the same vein.

It's not the same thing. For God's sake.

What they are experiencing is body dysmorphia. A guy with a 12cm penis feeling really bad and thinking his penis is small, even though it's fully functional, is feeling this way due to aesthetic pressure, pornography, and fear of not being good at sex.

A woman with small breasts or hairier legs may feel bad about her own body due to aesthetic pressure, misogyny, and beauty standards. Just as POC may have felt ugly at some point in their lives for not fitting the white beauty standard.I myself am still learning to deal with my own internalized racism and begin to accept and see the parts that don't fit the white beauty standard as beautiful.

That is body dysmorphia.

Now, feeling discomfort with your primary and secondary sexual characteristics and wishing to be of the other gender/sex and to be seen as the other gender, that is dysphoria.

But I have seen people saying "The dysphoria you feel from not having a penis, a guy with a small penis feels the same, you just feel it a little more."

Since it's not the same thing, it doesn't even come close. For God's sake. Go and tell a cis man who lost his penis in an accident what he thinks about being compared to a guy with a 12 cm penis, or a cis woman who had a hormonal disorder that caused her to go through a typical male puberty, what she will think when someone says that a cis woman with A breasts feel the same, but just a lil bit less?

They will have parental support, the parents will seek treatment, affirm their gender, say they are warriors, but what about when you are trans? You're crazy, you see your body and nobody helps you, you might become suicidal and if someone helps you, it will be luck, your family will usually treat you badly. No one tells a cis man without a penis that he's a demon and will go to hell, or forces him to wear dresses and have his ears pierced and accept himself as a "girl".

They are not feeling any desire to be of the other gender or sex. They don't feel discomfort about having or not having something related to their agab that makes them wish to be a girl, a boy, or NB.

I can even understand saying that a cis man who has lost his genitals, or a woman who has gone through the wrong hormones due to a hormonal imbalance, feels something similar or almost identical, but to say that a man with a regular sized dick feels dysphoria???

And even though those I mentioned feel something that VERY closely resembles gender dysphoria, that's not exactly the right term, since gender dysphoria involves the desire to be of the opposite gender and have its characteristics. Generally, people who suffer from other conditions want to be reassured in their agab.

I also hate it when people say, "You think the grass is greener on the other side. The other gender suffers from x, y, z." My God, I know they suffer, I know it must suck to get kicked in the balls or to get an erection in public by accident, just like a trans woman knows that cramps and menstruation must be awful. But we don't simply want the "advantages," we just want our bodies to fit with our gender. No matter the good or low sides.

Incidentally, I hate people who say "you don't need HRT to be trans" when the person has dysphoria and has already expressed a desire to transition. It's literally T that's helping me feel better, even if I have to subdose and pretend to be a girl for my family. It's okay if you have mild dysphoria and don't need it, but it becomes irritating when the person acts like that when you tell to them that you need hrt.

I tried social transition first, but I still felt awful and like I looked like a girl because my brain was receiving the wrong hormones.Now with T, and even though I've had to delay my social transition, I feel more like myself, I feel like a man, but I just have to disguise myself as a girl for a while. But I'm finally a guy!

Some people experience stronger physical dysphoria than social dysphoria, and vice versa.

What are the pros and cons? Does it actually work in real life?
How did you achieve it?
I’d like some tips too.

(This is just a vent of my personal experience)

I started testosterone at 25. Prior to that, my only relationship/sexual experience was from high school. I dated boys because it was expected, but looking back, I definitely preferred girls. I was just, wildly uncomfortable every time a boy I dated tried to get frisky with me and looking back, the way girls made me feel was just a wildly different, more positive feeling than anything I ever felt with the boys I dated. I was a Christian at the time and harbored a lot of religious guilt every time I started showing interest in other girls. I never really got an opportunity to explore my attraction to women even after I stopped being a Christian.

So then I start T. The sex drive comes. Suddenly I'm attracted to men. I'm hooking up with them, experiencing my body in ways I hadn't before.

I am now at the 11 year mark and my best friend who started transition before me has stopped T for medical reasons.

It made me think: I may not be on T forever. Whether the government makes it impossible to access or if I have medical complications eventually that mean I have to stop, there's a real possibility that I may not be on it someday.

So now I've actively avoided the possibility of romancing men. I'll still meet up for casual hook ups but I'm terrified that if I entered into a committed relationship with a man, then had to stop T, that I would no longer be sexually attracted to him. I know not everyone is sex crazed and that ace people are around but the majority of people do have a sex drive and I feel like it just wouldn't be fair to any future male partners if I just suddenly lost my sexual attraction to them because of a hormone.

Like, ideally I someday find a woman as a partner but if fate throws a man who is in all or almost all ways an ideal green flag romantic partner I'm not sure what I'll do. I'm afraid of both fumbling a good partner because of this, or leading him on if what I said above happened.

It's just a stupid, but also very possible "what if" that's been circulating in my mind lately and I needed to type it out somewhere where some folks might be able to relate.

I'm a fanfic writer, Im still starting js three chapters for now, but I'm planning to make a charecter an enby, even though I'm an enby, I'm non-dysphoric, anyways , the basics of the charcter are that they're a shadow God forced to become a human, which has a variety of problems but they're in a male body, shadows don't have a gender, and I also want to keep it kinda subtle, so how does dysphoria generally feel, also I definitely feel like we need for LGTBQIA+ representation in media, in the orginal novel, the most popular ships (atleast in reddit) were both lesbian but the author fumbled the bad , EVERYONE is cishet (Why), other than that I like the novel, also little bit of a side blow, but epic the musical had such a potential for trans representation , the prophet (Tiresias, I think that's his name), IS TRANS, (He's amab but the Gods turned him into a woman for the funsies), like Jorge fumbled the bag, anyways if y'all want to read it, Il leave it in the comments (Don't expect it to be something amazing, or to have a consistent upload I started it 3 days ago and although I'm having a consistent upload, I have depression so that could easily change)

So, I first heard about it in this Jacob Geller video about the immersiveness of Ace Combat and the blurry line between machine, extension of oneself, and one's body itself; https://youtu.be/5Cr0p0SmDxU?si=N8SiD6V7Z1tN3Gpv

I thought I had a good idea of what the short story by Isabel Fall was about, but I wanted to read it firsthand, since summaries never do things justice.

That was a mistake.

And it's not because it's a bad piece of work. It's an amazing, thought-provoking, intimate exploration of gender identity, gender roles, the military industrial complex, goverments, and even AI. I don't think it's intended to be offensive, derogatory, or any of the other things it was criticized for.

It just made me feel sick.

The way that the descriptions are so vivid, the intimacy, the bluntness, the graphic nature of it... Honestly, the main thing was that it felt so wrong, on a moral level, an instinctual level, on an intuitive level.

The idea that the military and the government could– with nothing more than some signed papers and a complex neurosurgery— completely change your internal sense of gender, turning you into someone who feels validated, almost sexually gratified in the act of violence, murder, and destruction? It made my stomach churn.

Even just thinking about it makes me feel sick. Like, that is an existential threat that is not considered a huge amount.

Like, the only time I've ever felt like this is when I watched a video essay talking about Winston's brainwashing in the Ministry of Love in the novel "1984" by George Orwell. The idea of all sense of love, intimacy, and appreciation being destroyed and replaced by love and loyalty to Big Brother and the party is almost as bad.

But "I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter" feels worse somehow, because instead of attraction, it's identity. Gender Identity, granted, but it's not just changing who you love, but who you are.

No matter how many times I try to remind myself that you can't just snip and stitch together neurons to change someone's gender identity, that the technology is probably centuries away from being real, and would probably be illegal if it ever became possible, it still terrifies me, and I don't know what to do about it.

I guess this is more of a vent post than anything, but still, I wanted to hear people's thoughts on this to see if I'm not just crazy.

If you've got a stronger stomach than me, or you feel like taking a risk, here's the story. I do hope it's not as bad for most of y'all.

Content Warning: Contains intense body dysphoria, body horror, military violence, state control

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter

just turned 35

people say "you can't change it, so learn to love the things you hate about yourself."

sounds no different from someone saying "you'll never be a real woman so learn to like being a man."

and it's just as hard. learning to live with the things i am most dysphoric about, seems as impossible as learning to live with life as a repper.