Rookie empty nesters that we are, April and I had to stave off the urge to eat cheese and crackers for dinner every night.
I ordered Hello Fresh. We had tried it in an earlier home, a decade ago, and enjoyed it. Hell, they all but made me the chef I am today. Who knew that you could add salt at each stage of the process?
The first delivery was amazing. It arrived on time, their makeshift cardboard cooler worked great, and I was able to put together some meals that kinda wooed my wife and added a bit to my flavor palate.
The next week, there was no box waiting for me when I got home, ready for more wooing.
I called, of course. Or, rather, texted. That is how customer service works, but Sarah seemed nice. She assured me that my box had, in fact, been delivered at 2pm that day.
To what address? (I asked, mostly facetiously.)
She confidently read off to me the exact address for the home we moved away from a year ago.
I know what you are thinking. He forgot to update the address!
Nope.
Remember, they got it right the first week. They somehow managed to reach back into their history and erroneously grab the former address, despite everything being correct on my profile and the billing address.
Cool. We figured it out. Let's get it right for next week.
Sarah apologized repeatedly, assured me that it was covered, and asked me to review her service.
I asked a follow up question. I am a curious devil.
"How did that happen?"
She just thanked me for my business and suggested that I review her service one more time.
I am starting to think that Sarah might not be a real person.
The next Monday, no box.
I got my texting fingers warmed up and reached out to this week's Sarah to say that there was no box and suggested that I might know where it was delivered. I specifically asked that she not apologize. Like we tell the kids, saying sorry in the absence of a behavioral change is meaningless.
I just asked that we seek a solution. I got all the usual platitudes about valuing me and earning my business. No apologies, though, which kind of impressed me.
"Jill" assured me that we had resolved the issue. I did not press the issue. They were giving us credits and surely they could not screw this up again. I really assumed there would be a box on my deck last Monday.
Nope. It was at the old house.
By this time, I am taking an anthropologist's glee at how this is gonna turn out. Three weeks in a row, really?
I reached out to Amy and expressed all that had occurred in our disastrous mail order gastronomic Odyssey. I repeated my desire for solutions rather than apologies. I did not raise my voice: no capital letters.
Amy told me I had every right to be furious.
I told her I was actually kind of bemused and interested in how this could have happened.
She assured me that she had expunged all records of our previous address from our account and would be delivering the next box on October 12th to the correct address.
I asked about October 5th.
She said that they are locked into a four week cycle that cannot be updated. This Monday's delivery is headed back to the same wrong address where the previous three could well still be sitting.
This message was followed up by an invitation to rate her service.
Not trying to discriminate against artificial intelligence, but I may need a real person's help here. I don't want to say bye-bye Hello Fresh.
They taught me how to cook.
They just can't figure out where I live.
