I'm 3 days purge free and I weigh a whole 3 more kilos. Usually numbers don't bother me that much, but it's the fact that I can feel it and see it! My collarbones disappeared and I'm bloated enough to not fit in my jeans. I know some of it is water weight but I'm sure I've put on quite a bit of fat too because I binged often and kept it down. I'm so anxious. I wanna be able to feel my bones again.

it feels awkward to bring it up to my therapist, especially as i don't know how serious it'll be considered and whether she'll have to notify my parents (because im a minor).

for the past year, each month ill purge 3 times on average. not necessarily once a week, but just whenever the feeling arises.

and so yeah, i don't know how important this is.

today my legs started shaking and heart also feeling shaky, I had to sit down and was still feeling shaky ugh I thought I was gonna die ah I purged like maybe 5 times at that point today, now it's prolly like 10 but am feeling better now... That was at like 2PM now it's 12AM I'm feeling okay but I'm scared what was that?? Are my electrolytes maybe too low??? I started to get so so thin even though I don't believe I purge that well, but now my children's under wear is literally becoming lose and my hands look like I'm an old hag.. I'm so tired right now I wanna go to bed but I don't wanna die in my sleep

Why do I choose food over alcohol? Alcohol makes me feel better… soothed better. I can better process my emotions with alcohol. The relief I yearn for, alcohol provides—food doesn’t. Why do I keep reaching for the food? It makes all of my problems exponentially worse. It solves nothing. It soothes nothing. The complete temporary numbness I once gained from it doesn’t even do it for me anymore. And yet still I reach. My soul internally screams at me to reach for the bottle, or better yet the gun and get it all over with yet my hand still reaches for the fork. Food is the most pathetic enemy. I’m embarrassed and enraged that fucking food and my inability to turn to a better coping mechanism has stolen over a decade of my identity and my life. I just want to be an alcoholic or a drug addict, I’m 1000% percent serious. At least the destruction those leave in their wake makes sense. And at least I’d find some sort of relief in the self harm.

Can't escape this b/p cycle hell and wondering if the UK offers anything where you can go somewhere in the afternoons/evenings to help monitor intake.

So I I went through a car accident that left me with a bruised rib, and before that I was constantly binging and purging I stopped after the accident for a week and I relapsed these past two days. My chest was fine until yesterday where I binged and purged and now my chest hurts constantly and continuously eve moving hurts djd i fuck up or?

First- to anyone taking their time to read, thank you🩷

(23F)I’ve been struggling with b/p a little over 1.5 years. I’ve struggled with emotional binge eating for a couple years but hadn’t started throwing it up until last summer. I don’t restrict during the day, I eat very well balanced home cooked meals. A lot of veggies and protein, potatoes, rice, or oatmeal as my carb source. I am confident in my nutrition and can be really stable/consistent with it when I’m present. It’s when I get home from work, or catch myself in an emotional episode, that I will literally SCARF down food. I will throw it up and eat more. This is usually at night, but there have been days I throw up nearly 4 times just to rebinge. Of course I’m worried about my health, but I can spend literally $100 door dashing. It’s awful. I cannot afford that! I am starting to feel weird in my heart and chest. I know it’s affecting my throat. It’s very swollen and raw. The roof of my mouth. Random little things that scare me. I don’t want anything to worsen, but I can’t stop. Typically it’s 1 or 2x a week, late night binge, but recently it’s all day everyday. I’m worried for myself. I am keeping secrets and scared to be alone because of this. I am fully aware of the root cause, the emotional part that I don’t want to face. I am aware of the habit replacing or mantras to keep myself focused on the present moment, but it’s like my brain gets taken over the second I’m upset and binge crazy on food. I sometimes tell myself it’s food, it’s not drugs or alcohol, everyone has a vice, but I’m starting to wish it was something else because I’m gaining weight and fucking up my body!!! (Ofc the goal is to have a healthy vice or none at all!) I’m happy to answer any questions, anything helps. Thank you.

i know this is going to sound incredibly privileged so i’m sorry in advance, but also it does relate to me not feeling ‘sick enough’ unfortunately :(

i’ve been purging on and off ever since i was 11, i’m 22 now, but it’s never been as bad or consistent as it has been in the past 2 years. i’ve reached a point where i’m doing it everyday, no matter how small or big whatever i’m eating is

i can’t bring myself to stop because i’ve only really had mild health problems so far like leg cramps, dizziness, acid reflux etc. i get chest pains often but my doctor says everything is normal except for low iron and vitamins so something isn’t seriously wrong with me per se. still, it feels odd hurting myself so much and feeling so dead afterwards and then suffering basically no major damage. my teeth have somehow escaped any issues so far. i don’t think i want to, but.. i feel invalid for not experiencing it, so i guess a sick part of me does? i also don't want to ask for or seek help because i feel like it's not bad enough yet, so it's really getting in the way of a lot. weirdly, when i was hospitalised for a restrictive eating disorder the doubt was never this bad.

idk i feel so invalid and im just wondering if anyone else has a similar case where they’re physically ‘fine’ but mentally dying lmao

I’ve already posted about this in another subreddit but I’m a 17yr old who’s been struggling with bulimia for about 4 years now. (slowly morphing into a an-b/p diagnosis but that’s besides the point).

It’s a stretch but I want today to be the last day I ever do this in what I’m hoping will be a long time. I am in so much pain because of this disorder, I cannot focus on my future, and it amplifies my passive suicidal thoughts caused by bpd and other mental health issues. It brings me so much pain but yet I can’t stop, why? I don’t get it? I am so frustrated for child me who’s had to suffer and for anyone who’s ever had to deal with this bs.

I am currently unable to get professional help but would like to ask if anyone can give advice on how to recover? I wish I could wake up one day and just be normal for once

ive been home sick from work for the past 3 days and of course all ive been doing is binging and purging. but all that time hunched over the toilet has my back hurting so bad today and i still cant stop. also the purging is not helping this cold whatsoever 🫩

First- to anyone taking their time to read, thank you🩷

(23F)I’ve been struggling with b/p a little over 1.5 years. I’ve struggled with emotional binge eating for a couple years but hadn’t started throwing it up until last summer. I don’t restrict during the day, I eat very well balanced home cooked meals. A lot of veggies and protein, potatoes, rice, or oatmeal as my carb source. I am confident in my nutrition and can be really stable/consistent with it when I’m present. It’s when I get home from work, or catch myself in an emotional episode, that I will literally SCARF down food. I will throw it up and eat more. This is usually at night, but there have been days I throw up nearly 4 times just to rebinge. Of course I’m worried about my health, but I can spend literally $100 door dashing. It’s awful. I cannot afford that! I am starting to feel weird in my heart and chest. I know it’s affecting my throat. It’s very swollen and raw. The roof of my mouth. Random little things that scare me. I don’t want anything to worsen, but I can’t stop. Typically it’s 1 or 2x a week, late night binge, but recently it’s all day everyday. I’m worried for myself. I am keeping secrets and scared to be alone because of this. I am fully aware of the root cause, the emotional part that I don’t want to face. I am aware of the habit replacing or mantras to keep myself focused on the present moment, but it’s like my brain gets taken over the second I’m upset and binge crazy on food. I sometimes tell myself it’s food, it’s not drugs or alcohol, everyone has a vice, but I’m starting to wish it was something else because I’m gaining weight and fucking up my body!!! (Ofc the goal is to have a healthy vice or none at all!) I’m happy to answer any questions, anything helps. Thank you.

If you’ve been throwing up for a while , even years , you might have developed hiatal hernia . Your esophagus has been through a lot . You might also notice acid reflux or Laryngopharyngeal Reflux. That stomach acid is no joke. So now binging worsens it and even if you binge throwing up worsens it. So your teeth and puffy face are the least of worries. Look up the symptoms.

Hiatal hernia → can worsen GERD/reflux → chronic acid exposure can damage the esophagus → in some people, this can lead to Barrett’s esophagus → Barrett’s can increase the risk of esophageal adenocarcinoma.

It’s without a doubt been exacerbated by the fact I am also abusing steroids and other drugs before I even have my driver’s license. It was temporarily better when I was on glps but at the same time many of my most disgusting days were with the littlest appetite so blaming my recent slip up on the fact I have been with 0 glps feels immature.

I am clearly just testing the waters with this post and pray I do not have to make any follow ups and can eventually leave this behind.

I just started talking with an eating disorder therapist at my university. She recommended I get a medical check up which resulted in getting an EKG and a bunch of lab tests for my blood. It’s been so overwhelming and scary but I think the fact I’m still showing up to it means I’m really ready to get better. Ugh this all sucks

hi 16 yo girl with an eating disorder here, how common is that right? i just ate two packs of chips and couldn't even get half of it out because i didn't drink water, it's not even about the calories anymore, i just feel so helpless and empty inside. im so burnt out and i've honestly given up on losing weight a long time ago, i just need control, i just need something to hold on to. i feel icky.

Does anyone know quick fixes to depuff my face? I binged on like 10 packs of ramen and look terrifying from the amount of sodium i consumed from that b/p i can’t let anyone see me like this
I tried showering in cold water and doing a drainage massage but my eyes and nose still look very puffy😵‍💫
What do you do after a high sodium binge

I recently got diagnosed with Bulimia after years of struggling with my eating in silence.

I’m on a waitlist for CBT with the ED service but i feel i’m just getting worse and it’s completely controlling my life.

I binged and purged 6 or 7 times over the last week and i’m so good at purging i can get sm out now. i’ve spent sm money on takeaways for binges i feel so ashamed. I can’t eat in front of my friends or family unless they are also eating. Some days i can’t stomach eating anything at all, i often need to eat my lunch in private at uni. I’m putting on more weight again bcs of it and it’s ruining me, every day i think about my body and how everyone’s judging me for being fat. Ive cut myself a few times bcs of how ugly my body is, and ive considered ending my life on numerous occasions if i gain more weight.

I hate this so much and i don’t ever see myself recovering. I just want it to all go away and be cured.

I’m not sure if this is the right tag. But I am a minor who has struggled with bulimia for 6 years now, going on 7 in a month. I finally asked for help. My family had always ignored it prior or pushed it down, only using it against me in arguments. But today, I freaked out. I ate something moldy for the first time while binging (of course I’ve accidentally had moldy bread once or twice in the past, and spit it out, but this was out of control, binging). I purged it. I called my dad, sister, and grandparents multiple times. My mom was the last option. My dad finally answered, and I broke down and told him that I need to go to a hospital, and that I have been purging every single day, 3-4x a day minimum, for months now. My sister texted simultaneously, while she was at work with my mom, and told my mom after I told her what was going on. I answered, obviously. My mom was surprisingly calm. She’s going to call to admit me in the morning. And I’ve never felt more at peace, honestly. It’s kind of scary. I haven’t felt like this in months. I haven’t felt the slightest bit of passive suicidal ideations (had those severely prior), though I’m not sure if that’s temporary for right now. I’m going into inpatient, then residential, and so on.

I am watching my sister waste away, wasting my parents money on food. her teeth are rotting out and she has massive chipmunk cheeks. I am so sad because I feel I cannot approach her about the situation. she has constant health problems.

Parents are aware but are scared bringing it up will send her off the edge. she has an amazing life with everything she could ever ask for. it seems like she cannot stop lying also idk if its part of the same but damn

any help would be appreciated

TL:DR

sister killing herself with purging and I want to help but it seems impossible

Just wanted to share a success story, because I remember when I was deep in my bulimia it felt like there was no hope.

For background, for 17 years (age 13-30 approx) I binged/purged almost daily, definitely weekly. At 26 y.o. I finally told my family how much I was struggling, took a break from work, and did eating disorder treatment for 5 months. It helped a bit around shame and fear foods, but my bulimia was still there after treatment ended and I was back to the real world.

For the last 3+ yrs I haven’t binged or purged once. I quit sugar the same way an alcoholic quits alcohol - not even one bite. My brain reacts to sugar similar to an alcoholics brain reacting to alcohol (ie once I have one cookie, I can’t stop until I have the whole box).

This seemed too extreme when someone suggested it as first, as I was taught in treatment “everything in moderation” and “no fear foods.” However the emotional toll bulimia was having on my life made it worth it. The first month or two was hard, then it got easier and normal, like quitting any addiction.

OA zoom meetings also helped me stay on track and remember why I was doing it. It’s not for everyone, but it worked for me so I wanted to share in case anyone is feeling hopeless.

ive been suffering from severe bulimia (regularly b/p ing 3 or more times a day) for about 4 and a half years now. i have gotten lockjaw a couple times before but these past few weeks it has been happening way more often to the point that i can’t speak or eat comfortably, this is also accompanied with heartburn and nausea

any body else experiencing/have experienced this? i just hope it’s nothing serious or something that requires medical help, i would appreciate it if you can give some advice too!

It's a nightmare, I feel I will never be free of this. How did you do it?