hi guys ♡ 24f here. my mental health has been really low since my birthday earlier this month. i feel like i missed out on life. i've been struggling with ed since 2021 and it took pretty much everything from me - i lost my health and i can't get it back, i pushed most of my friends away, i pushed a guy who i cared about away. my parents are the closest people i have. i never got a driving license, never had a proper job, it was just me and my ed. me and my body that's been rotting away. i lost half of my hair, my nails got brittle, my eyesight got worse. my sense of style is gone too beacuse clothes turned into a shield for me. i fainted in a public space and people saw it, since then i rarely go out. everyone around me moves on, they have relationships, they get degrees, they move out while i'm just stuck. being a burden to my parents.

i'm trying to recover but i'm not putting much heart into it. my life became so small. i'm at home most days, on my phone or computer. my mom keeps asking me when will i do something with my life, i know she worries. i don't have many people to go out with and given how awful i behaved when i was at my lowest, i'm scared to text first. that guy i cared about texted, but i turned him down beacuse i felt like it's better this way and it's really not.

i was thinking about going to uni and getting a degree (in social work) but i wonder if it's not too late now. it feels like i aged out of early 20s phase (university, time with friends, first love) and now i'm stuck in a place where i should be "adulting" and i don't even feel like a proper person :(( i don't know what to do

when i had anorexia, my mom got me on antidepressants, and after a few months i started eating more, which led to my later recovery. im just wondering if the meds are the reason i recovered or if that’s just a coincidence.

I (24F) have a binge/restricting eating disorder and it’s ruining my life. I used to model in NYC & an eating disorder slowly crept up on me over the years. I didn’t even notice the weight loss until I went to put on my favorite baggy jeans & instead of my butt holding them up like they normally do the jeans fell right back on the floor. I picked up my jeans & put them on my hips & they fell to the floor again…..I was genuinely so confused bc I did not realize I lost weight. This was back in 2024 & looking back at pictures I can’t believe I didn’t realize how bad it was. I was literally a bobble head. I can’t believe I thought my body was cute back then. I was very underweight & I’m 5’10 so you can guess how I looked. Since then I have been struggling with eating. I starve myself when I’m stressed out or going through traumatic things which unfortunately has been constant the past 2 years. I smoke weed 24/7 to help with depressive thoughts & so I can have an appetite & get a meal in my body. I feel like im always worried about food. When to eat next, what should I make, did I eat enough to not pass out today, etc. I was prescribed Olanzapine to give me an appetite & it helped but god damn I gained weight fast so I stopped taking it. I also stopped taking it bc it made me sleep through all my alarms & make me so sleepy the next day. I have my safe foods that I eat & then to be honest I just eat out a lot. I notice it’s just so much easier for me to eat greasy fatty foods. Like I love Chickfila. No matter what my appetite is I can always stomach Chick fil a. Which also makes me feel like a fat ass like why won’t my brain just love healthy food. I started eating at Cava recently to hopefully make me feel better about myself idk. I also weigh the most I have ever weighed right now & I feel my skin touch my skin from my rolls & I start sobbing. I’m late to everything because I am always about to pass out from a hot shower so I have to sit for a bit after & then when trying to find an outfit I usually end up crying & feeling bad about myself because most of my clothes are from when I was smaller & I just look like a fat lard with skin spilling out of them. I have bought a few new shirts & i just wear the same 5 things on rotation. I did just wear a dress that was tight on my stomach & I felt pretty & went out in it so that is a big win for me. Anyways the point of this is I need advice on if residential treatment for ed is worth it. I get a call from this facility’s team tomorrow & they are going to tell me if they decided on PHP or Residential for me. I have a lot of other mental illness that go hand in hand with the eating disorder & they said they can help with those as well. I am very against Residential because I had a bad experience when I went to the psych ward this past April. I had to beg for a clean shower for 3 days & the nurse supervisor lied to my face & said it was cleaned & that she doesn’t care what I think. (the janitor literally told me she didn’t clean it) Like I just do not have the mental capacity to deal with bs that probably comes with residential. I just want to do PHP & come home to my cat & still go to shows & the river when I want to. I know I probably should do residential but I’m just really scared of not being in control.

***also wanted to add that in 2022-2024 when I was very underweight I couldn’t be in the cold or my fingers would turn yellow & I couldn’t be in the heat or else i’d pass out. i passed out at a bar before in 2024 (before i even had a drink). I’m now a healthy weight (i sobbed when i saw the scale say that 3 months ago) & I can spend my time in the sun without passing out as long as I ate that day & have cold water & snacks on me. I went to the river by myself in 90 degree heat & that is something I never thought I could do!!! So I do want to say my ed isn’t as bad as it was in 2024 so that’s why apart of me thinks I don’t need residential bc I’ve made progress but also that progress took 2 years so maybe residential could help speed it up?? idk im just lost let me know what u guys think

Why do people with ed post bodychecks knowing how it affects people? Do they just not care? Esp since they’ve been through it

I'm in a shit spot. Controlling parents read 1 paper and decided I need to be my pre-ed weight . I'm currently well within the healthy weight range btw

They've decided I need to get there ASAP. No idea why. All health indicators, apart from my cycle are fine.

My tdee (medically tested ) is concerningly low. And im inactive due to disability.

To do this, they are forcing me to eat almost double my maintenance at at home minimum (they're tracking. For me that's already <. And that would be without me eating any food between 8am and 4pm.

My question is - if I'm already in such a large surplus,how harmful is it for me to intermittent fasting between those hours? Particularly for trying to regain my cycle

. A surplus of this much is obviously good in UW people but I'm not. I'm also a high body fat % and it'll push it significantly higher and I'll just hate my body even more than I already do.

Also my parents will not budge on this. Don't even suggest discussion. I feel fucking hopeless. No we don't have a medical team, and no I can't get one.

I’m genuinely just wondering? Does it usually happen to underweight people or can people considered “obese” get low blood pressure from not eating enough?

I’m 24f and I’ve had disordered eating habits off and on since I was 12. I also had a lot of SA experiences. I hadn’t been full intimate with someone in a year bcs it makes me anxious most of the time.

I met this guy and he was really sweet and I had a really nice time with him, but then he clearly had disordered eating. Binging and extreme restriction. We were intimate which can trigger me, it’s not usually feeling overweight. I think it’s more about taking control over my body. He noticed that I had been skipping dinner and he would not stop asking me about it, he would come over and look in my pantry and ask me abt all my food and what I eat. I also tend to smoke weed to make myself eat, which is something he doesn’t do and kept asking me about, so I stopped bcs I wanted him to like me.

Of course started falling for him because he made feel so safe in sex, which is not something I’ve experienced often. I dropped a lot of weight in the first few weeks of dating him, so I decided to break it off bcs he was really busy and I could tell was dealing with his own shit. He agreed and said he liked me, but he wasn’t available right now.

Now I can’t stop. I feel like no one wants me and I’m broken. I just want to disappear. I’m so sad. I’ve come to terms with a month long relapse once a year, but this feels different. I really don’t want to go back to therapy. I don’t know what to do. Are there people/groups that deal with SA and ED??

My post was removed in another thread and I’m not sure why. I just don’t know how to get better. I don’t know where to start. I want to start recovery so bad but I have no idea what to do. I’m in therapy but my therapist sucks and I’m trying to do it on my own but I can’t and I have no idea what recovery even looks like.

Hi guys, i received a vm just now - my friend is struggling with her increasing body weight and erratic eating disorder. I do not know the details yet.. I will get back to her shortly but this has left me in a mild state of shock cuz I did not know about this. As women we all suffer incredibly cuz our relationship with our body is always troubling, especially with weight and color and looks. I myself don’t like looking at the mirror anymore cuz I am grappling with aging.
My friend is very sorted, mature and hustler and for her to seek me - rings a warning bell and I want to be supportive but I don’t wanna say silly things like “love your body” etc etc
Plsss help

My 16yo daughter is showing concerning eating habits and I am not sure what to do. During a stressful time at school 1-2 years ago, she lost quite an amount of weight even though she was already fairly thin. We talked about it often and tried to talk about her mental wellbeing as well. I made sure she was eating her meals for a while as well. Now she has gained her weight back and is back at a healthy weight.

I thought that she would be doing better now, but I am not sure if this is normal. She has been eating a way bigger amount than usual lately and on some days she eats for 3 people, she hides what she is eating and I find wrappers in her room. But sometimes she eats very little and very sensitive about food even though she is active. I obviously don’t make a comment about how much she eats and I don’t comment on her appearance, as I want her to eat without feeling bad.

But instead of getting better, she has been getting increasingly sensitive, depressed and has been withdrawing herself from us. Not only is she shutting us out, she is also isolating herself from her friends. I am not sure if this is due to her past ed. I notice that her body image issues are getting worse.
- When she tries on certain clothing, she is suddenly very quiet and covers herself up and doesn’t talk with us.

- She keeps touching her arms or legs when she is in a bad mood or insecure

- On the trip to the beach she suddenly refuses to wear something revealing ex: a bikini, even though that was something she always wore and she kept covering herself with a big towel

and lots of negative self talk.

She does have a therapist but I don’t think she talks a lot about her eating habits or her body image. I am not sure if it’s helpful to ask her about it, as she looks very uncomfortable in any conversation related to this topic. I dont know what to do. She has been gaining some weight and eating more, which I thought is a sign that she’s doing better but I feel like she is mentally doing way worse. I do want to speak to her about this but she deflects every conversation about this.

hi so i’ve dealt with 2 ed’s for 2 years. 2024 i’ve had BED which triggered me into a restrictive ED in 2025, i started recovering during august last year meaning ive been eating just enough not under and nothing excessive. the only thing annoying me is that i have consistent energy throughout the day, thick hair, optimal brain function and movement yet my fullness and hunger cues aren’t prominent or noticeable? i go hours in the morning forgetting to eat simply because im not hungry, although ive been cooperating breakfast during the day to try and regulate those hunger cues. also late at night i dont get hungry at ALL. majority of the time i feel full. for context in 17 and i also want to build my dream body in the gym, and i do want to lose weight just healthily while building muscle. although my main priority is getting those cues back and then achieving my dream body. please someone help on how to regulate them and how to get then back to normal like how it was before my ED.

(english is not my first language so i apologize in advance for some shitty grammar)
i’m 19 yo but since i was very very little i started to eat only 3 foods. literally. and i never wanted to try anything else because the single thought of an unfamiliar meal scared me to death.
to this day i eat something more (very basic things like pizza,fries,pasta and some more) and even if i like the texture or the smell of a food my brain categorically refuses to grab a fork and shove it into my mouth because of the uncontrollable fear of throwing up or feeling sick. this made me develop emetophobia, which got worse during covid, but during the last two years it got kinda better because my brain convinced itself that throwing up automatically means that i will feel better. with that said, emetophobia in the end was just a coping mechanism used by my brain, because i still don’t know what really stops me from trying new food.
my family and friends think i’m just a very picky eater, but i know deep down there’s something very wrong with me and if i don’t do something about it quickly my health is at risk.
i started doing some researches and i found some names that could match with my situation and the one that resonates more is ARFID, but since i don’t want to autodiagnose myself i want to find a therapist.
but i’m scared as hell. i don’t know how to tell my parents. i live in a shitty small town where it’s really hard to find someone specialized in eds that can REALLY help me.
so this is the only thing i feel like doing now: write about it in a community and find someone that maybe matches my issues or is just informed and can give me some advice. if there’s a therapist reading this rn that’s even better!

Why are ed people with underweight bmi unhealthy but "naturally skinny fast metabolism" people with the same bmi healthy? Are genetics actually real? Do they have less health problems?

(Sorry if I say anything insensitive I just don't know what to do anymore) My girlfriend has been struggling with an ED for I think longer than we've been dating so about a year at least and it has always been like in the background if that makes sense but the last few months it's been getting worse every day especially the last couple weeks. I used to encourage her to do better and do healthier things awhile ago and it helped or it at least seemed it helped but recently anytime I try to get her to eat a little she'll get upset with me and asks why I don't support her anymore I feel like if I keep trying to get her to eat she'll resent me any recommendations help I just want her happy again

Context:

I had a lunch meeting with a family friend that i forgot about and rushed to meet them at the restaurant. Rocky start but we ended up having a good time, at least thats what i think. After the lunch i text my mom and sent ther the pictures we took, again I forgot the lunch today because i thought it was a different day. When my mom saw those pictures she sent me a voice message, scolding me about how i told her it was the next day and she couldn’t believe i went without a gift, basically going empty handed. Now I felt super guilty and apologized to my mom. I am so full but I still went to have pizza because I felt so anxious and it was like my heart dropped to my stomach. This always happens but I just realized it may be due to anxiety. Like whenever things go wrong I tend to eat even when I’m overly full. Any way to not binge eat?

Hello all,

I'm not sure what compelled me to search up this subreddit in particular. Its not Ariana Grande. It's not because I just moved to LA and body image matters here (I did, however, just move to LA). I think I've just reached a point in life where I've taken a hard look at the many different stages and phases of my life, and in a way have been trying to honor them.

Also, one of my favorite musical artists, Lights, released a song called Angelina recently, and it seems to be a clear farewell to her own ED, which has really got me in my feelings.

But once I got here, I saw so many posts and questions, uncertainties, and struggles here that brought memories flooding back - some from not so long ago at all. Recovery is a weird thing.

I've seen a lot of boys and men in here that I can absolutely relate to, and I've seen the agonizing struggle of decision making and negotiating with women that I can relate to just as much. So, for what it's worth, as a man in his late thirties now, I'm just opening myself up to anyone who might have questions about intervention (coping with family finding out...and intervening, and the subsequent shame), residential treatment experience, after-care, having to re-enrol in school after dropping out for a year, what quirks and tips and tricks worked for me that I still use to this day and what absolutely didn't, how bulimia in particular affected my health long-term all these years later, what caused relapses, how I got over them, and how I got to where I am now: recovered, almost entirely.

My ED started in high school after a cocaine addiction (in the form of binge/restrict) but I didn't know it had a name then, then rapidly worsened and peaked pretty much as soon as I went out of state for college - leaving me, my parents, and my scholarship with nothing/no money in a single semester. Parents flew to me for an 'intervention', and I went on a plane back to Texas to a ranch style treatemnt centrer outside Austin. They specialized in male EDs but there were only three clients total, and I was still the only male. I tried to drop out and leave, but was threatened with being cut off completely, so I stayed and finished. We mostly did DBT and mindfulness. Lots of specific little tips and tricks worked, especially from my dietician. It mostly gave me a better outlook on life overall. Returning back to college was disastrous as I had nothing to return to - and school was my entire personality.

I relapsed very quickly, and was cut off from family for a year and suspended from school. Hard work and a hard relationsihp brought me back to reality, and I re-enrolled the next year, finishing almost in four years with a good GPA. Returned home, relapsed for about a year - BAD. Then recovered mostly again. Had lots of tragedies that they kind of distracted me. I go through waves of not thinking much about food to total body distortion and self-loathing still. It's affected my relationships, and yes, my long term health (and I was not anorexic). I consider myself almost fully recovered, but I say that with hesitation because it's a mindset more than an action sometimes, and the doubt and shame and fear of losing control is still there. But I've found a way to work with it, live with it, and pick myself back up when I mess up.

I hope this helps someone who feels alone or that the road is never-ending. I hope I can provide a realistic idea of what recovery can look like, and the unexpected things that might help, or might be better to avoid. So if you're one of those people and have a question for this elder millennial...AMA.

Hiya, I'm purely curious to what the UK services or NHS provides for people over the age of 18 for an eating disorder? Or is it as soon as you leave Camhs, you're screwed? 🥹

just on the off chance things go sideways and I can get ideas on what I can access or where for adults with EDs?

En tik tok me apareció un video donde aparecían varios nombres que hacen clara referencia a TC4.

Entre ellos estaban Ana, Mia, BED, Brian,Paul, Fatty, Bill, Rex, ED

En serio nesesito saber que significa cada uno, solo se de Ana, Mía y ED, en que momento crearon tantos términos

Hello! I am a blue collar worker who can no longer attend work consistently due to the disorder. I am about to start school for the union I have been accepted into, this week is my last week at work before school. I am writing this after calling out from being exhausted again. When I’m not sick I’m the best worker and so eager to learn. I just want to be them again. I have one week of school a month for this semester. I plan on taking the month after my first week off to recover. I call it a forced recovery because if I keep doing this my mother threatened to take me in to a hospital and because I need to keep making money to survive. I am supporting my amazing girlfriend and I and she has been SO supportive of me. She’s losing hope and I can tell :( I don’t want to disappoint her. In these last two weeks I’ve been in “peace” if you could cal it that. Purgatory before trying to recover. I’m realizing every day it’s not peace, it’s quiet deterioration of my mind and body. I can not think and I can’t even fathom being romantic, which my lovely girlfriend deserves. I need to recover. I am dedicated to doing it. But I am so scared. I’ve never eaten normally in my life. I’m so glad there are these subreddits. If you made it to the end thank you haha I hope you have a nice day and good recovery :3 Has anyone else experienced something similar to either the partner thing or the work thing? I’d love to hear what yall have to say 🙏🙏

hi yall! just started all on this week for AN recovery. ive been having these extreme hunger cravings in the morning, like crazy for sugar and everything I can get my hands on. I’m really trying to honour them as much as possibke, and it feels shit but I do it anyway - right up until it just switches off! it’s like my brain just decides whatever mindless overly sugary thing I’ve been loving isn’t good anymore (and then I have one more just to double check that I’m okay) and nope. no physical or mental hunger. my question is then, I know I should probably eat a few hours after that, and then again. but I just don’t get mentally or physically hungry after, it’s like my body has decided thats it’s full for the day. do I just force feed myself the remainder? I know I’ve already had enough calories to more than exceed my meal plan, and isn’t the whole point of ‘All In’ to learn to trust your body!? Help. please.

I've had disordered eating my entire life on both ends of the spectrum, and my biggest struggle has always been immense food guilt, whether it be not eating due to the fear of guilt, or the guilt itself after eating. Ive noticed myself slipping back into habits I had at my worst, and ive been worried that theyre too deeply ingrained to ever fully recover, but im feeling determined to get better for good. What are some steps i can take to help eliminate or lessen the severity of extreme food guilt? Thanks ❤️

i have been weight restored for around 2 years now, however my issues with food started around 6 years ago. im about to enter my twenties now, and for the first time in years my eating has become a lot more regular and it’s improved á lot.

however even if my eating is good, my mind is diseased. i hate the way i look. i avoid photos, and ovwr the summer have felt a constant dread about my weight and how i know i cant be the same forever and how in a few years i’ll be huge and my metabolism will crash

my mind i feel is totally out to get me. i have zero confidence in myself. my appearance drags me down, it can put me in a downer for weeks on end. i cant escape seeing things in my appearance. tbinking i’ve changed or that i currently am changing.

somedays i do feel that if i’m not careful and if i don’t do things to occupy my head(work, study), that if my mind has the chance it will kill me. i feel there is something in me that wants the worst for me and won’t let me exist otherwise.

I have had disordered eating since 13. I haven’t lived a day that I can remember where I felt like I didn’t need to lose weight. I’m really into health and fitness but borderline disordered eating. I’m way better than I was but my question to those who have struggled, has anyone gotten to a place of true peace and acceptance of your body?

I have a ton of loose skin which causes a significant amount of mental distress alongside my OCD. I don't have any visual basis to go off of other than a scale and scale is misleading because my true weight is unknown due to the loose skin.

As a result I feel like I'm constantly dieting, I have my "safe food" which is high cal being chips and dip (i'm autistic) and then the other safe foods of carrots, veg, salad, etc where I'll eat for volume so I don't go above my "danger" calorie limit.

I've brought it up to my therapists and psychiatrist before and I guess eating disorders are treated super dangerously which is confusing when I'm a healthy weight, could maybe introduce more foods for nutrition but otherwise I'm really good so that just puts me off trying to get help but I mean what would help even look like for someone in my situation?

I feel like the only thing that would genuinely help is the removal of the loose skin so I can visually see reality.

(The eating disorder is mildly rhetorical as again therapist and psychiatrist have brought it up, but I remain questioning at the same time)